Alright.
We're checking out the only game where you can backhand physics so hard that it will eventually
launch you into space. It's Skate 3. So, uh, yeah, Skate 3 is a game
that has an entire open world that you can enjoy and you can get points
and go through the hall of meat. Rookie numbers, couple of hundred points, a couple of thousand points,
not good enough. Today, I will go all throughout this game in an effort to break
whatever I can possibly find in it. First things first though,
I need to make a character. That looks too realistic. Yeah, let's give him like a gland problem. There we are. Facial presets, huh? Yeah, we gotta customize this. These are terrible, and by terrible I mean,
they're actually too good for me to use. Skate 3 has all kinds
of different things that you can do, but honestly,
all I want to do is somehow get to space. All right. Yeah.
Wider, higher. Okay.
Now he just looks afraid. Well, actually that's probably good. He should be afraid. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Now, is- can I get more of a unibrow? Uh, well, I can-
I can make his head jut out like he has a giant
cancerous growth on his skull. That's perfect rotation. A brow rotation. Oh, it just makes him look
kind of like regretful or angry. Let's go with regretful and yeah, let's--
I'm giving him basic-- It looks basically like
he has a gigantic, swollen forehead. Considering how many times
he's going to be smashing the pavement, that makes sense. Yeah.
More length for the nose, more width for the nose. All the def-- By definition, all it means it looks like
I'm chewing on a gigantic frisbee. All the--
I'm putting all this up. [LAUGHS] God. [LAUGHS] And there we go. Congratulations, we've effectively
just made Mr. potato head the skater. Actually, hold on, let me, uh, no. Ah, there we go. Basically, I want him to look like
a bowler who instead took up skating. That is- that is hideous,
which means it's absolutely perfect. All right. I'm here to break infinite bones
and drink Bud Light. And I-I actually still have
plenty of Bud Light, which is good. Maybe it'll dull the pain. First things first, [LAUGHS] I had to at least get in there
and break the first bone, you know, you have to get that
out of the way right off the bat. So the idea is-
is the Hall of Meat basically shows you all of the damage that you take
and how much points you get by doing dumb sh*t in the game. So my plan is, is we both know
there's a way to break this game. There's probably
multiple ways to break the game, so I'm here to try and find all of them. I love your pickup truck,
I hope you don't mind if I just-- Oh my God, what's the speed limit here. Jesus. [GRUNTS] I think I managed to break all four limbs. That's not too bad. So my very first idea is if I can get an insane amount of speed and maybe get hit by a vehicle
or something like that, I may be able to get into
at least like to 10,000. See right there, 5,200 points. Not good enough. I just realized too,
I'm in the nicest part of town, and I look- I look like I'm the type of person that sells illicit drugs
to everyone's teenager. Holly Jesus. Hey, ma'am, have you seen my hypothalamus? I left it. I didn't know that there was like
a GTA fighting portion to this game. I'm not really like punching, I think
these are supposed to be my little- my little like,
yay, I'm so impressive in skating. What are you gonna do?
You gonna call the police? You gonna call the police?
Huh? She's like, "No, I'm just trying
to find a way out of this game." What the hell? Did I just get tased? I didn't know
they could tase you in Skate 3. Yeet. Perfect landing right on the skull. Luckily I've got-- Oh, oh. Hey, I didn't know you could flop around
like a fish to get extra points. Oh, we're going-
we're going way past 50,000. The other problem is, like I said,
I-I have to find a way to get to space. Just getting points
and taking damage isn't good enough. Usually, there's a way
to at least, you know, destroy the realm of physics
in these games. Like I said, for some reason,
this frigging neighborhood, the speed limit's like 400 miles an hour,
so here we-- Come on, baby. Oh, there's no cars coming into-- What the hell? Aw. Okay, we're going
for the legit intimate skate park. This might be-- I'm pretty sure
I just caught my wiener on that bar. My doctor's gonna be like,
"Gray, how sterile, are you?" The answer is yes. Yeet, and look at that land. See, I actually know what I'm-- Mmm. I was gonna say,
"I actually know what I'm doing." Yeah, the flopping like a fish
definitely works. I just need a bigger hole to land in. That sounded really bad.
You know what I mean. I love how all the damage
to my physics professor reject stays. This is my new favorite place
in the entire game. That is a freaking shark behind me. I'm going to break my spine
on his dorsal fin. I love how
there's another lady over there, she has the same idea. She's probably like,
"Don't you touch that shark." I'm going to paralyze myself upon it. I love how they
literally put a perfect ramp just right to the shark. You ready for this? First try, we're breaking all the bones. Here we go, and yeet. Oh, I totally missed. I still managed
to break my entire spinal column though. That's good I'm not stopping
until I land on that shark's dorsal fin. Come on, baby. Wow, it is harder to hit the shark
than I previously anticipated, but you can definitely
break a lot of bones. This lady's like,
"Oh my God, he's possessed by the devil." Come on, third time's the charm. No, I'm overshooting it. Oh, I landed
on the other like rampy thing. God, I love the way pavement tastes. I feel like there should be a ramp
going into the shark's mouth. It seems to be like a missed opportunity. All I want for Christmas is to have
that shark's fin go right up my ass. Come on. Yes. All it costs me was all of my femurs. Hey. Hey, lady do you like my board? You want a closer look? [LAUGHS] Okay-okay last-last try- last try. I just want to do one more. I was hoping I could like really get
some crazy numbers on this shark, but I may have to look for something else. We're at 35,000 though. Did somebody say gigantic staircase? Of course. The best way to land-- Oh, the back. The best way to land
is always on your forehead. I hope you're ready for an epic Gray grind and by grind I mean I just found out that when you're flying
you can actually control your descent. There goes my dental work
on the damn railing. Now, you may be asking yourself, "Gray isn't that unsafe
what you're doing?" No, not at all. See, if you begin to lose your control, you just need a pedestrian
to help you stop. What was that that flew off of her? Was that like her cell mode or something? Ma'am, are you okay? Oh, I think-- Now, that-- I did not
knock her over there, by the way. I think she's just been drinking.
Okay, that time it was me. Old man skater coming through. I've got a tone of warrants
and a lack of conscience. This place here will be my palette. What the hell? Hold on a second. Did you-- What is happening right there? Whoa. [LAUGHS] Okay, I have- I have a goal here, hold on. [LAUGHS] I know there's a better way to do this. Come on. I'm getting really good at having my heel
wrap around the back of my head and kick my own teeth out. [GRUNTS] Nothing like having your skateboard
go up your ass at light speed. Ah, ye-- Whoa. [LAUGHS] I'm gonna land on the car.
Come on. 10 points.
Damn it. [LAUGHS] There it is 60,000 points, 86-foot vertical. Oh my god. [LAUGHS] I went to cross it. Yes, finally. [LAUGHS] Okay, I think- [CHUCKLES] I think I can--
Hold on, I need to look at that again. Okay, so where is it? Right there. Okay, so this is our first instance
of my pelvis getting vomited out of my ass and right there
is the second instance of me like going into some football stadium right about, wait for it, here, is where a man understands
that his life is forfeit. What a cursed image too. I love how his body just looks like it's being Auntie Annie
pretzeled through the air. And up. I feel like I can get even higher though
like that's just-- Lady, I can't do this
while you're watching me. This lady's like,
"Young man what the hell are you doing?" Oh my God. [LAUGHS] I'm skate break dancing, okay? It's the- it's the newest fad
in middle-aged skaters. Don't judge me. I--
Now, I have two old ladies watching me. What is going on? There we go. Yeah. Oh, this is gonna be a sweet landing too,
right on the ass. What the hell? I think I just
penetrated the earth so hard that it restarted me back at my skateboard because I did not go back to the-- [LAUGHS] God. I did not go back
to my original starting position there. Ah, damn it. Freaking hurdle
got in the way of my progress. And by progress,
I mean torturing my character. I think the best part is, I'm doing this and this young girl
is walking over with her skateboard. She's going to watch
as I jellify my entire skeletal structure, and she's gonna be like, "You know what?
I'm going to pick a different sport. I'm gonna try table tennis." I'm hoping that if I-
if I'm moving while I do this, I can get even more distance or something. Come on. Yes. Oh, God. I love painting
the entirety of this board with my blood. Hold on, Amazon delivery. [LAUGHS] That's how you get your stuff
next day Amazon Prime. I think I managed to break every bone
in this dude's body on that one. Hey, young girl, you're still thinking
about being a skater? How about now? [LAUGHS] Welcome to the quarry
where dreams come true. People have asked, "Gray,
what do you wanna be when you grow up?" I wanna be a human torpedo. [LAUGHS] Come on, baby. 66, 70, 80,000, 85,000. Yeah. Did somebody get a boo-boo? Yeah, I just left
half of my skin in the quarry. Don't mind me. I just found that
you can kick this soccer ball around, and so I've been screwing around
for like the last 15 minutes. Ready? Ready?
Hold on, here we go. Ready?
And God, I suck. And come on. God damn it. It's really hard to kick this thing. Look, when you get to be my age,
all right, it's not as easy. And there. Goal. Yay. The high school that canned me
is gonna be watching this and be like,
"Oh my God, not a moment too soon." All right.
Here's the plan. Actually, hold on, let me--
God, this thing's so damn janky. I found that
the best way to push this thing is just to run into it. All right.
There we go. I practice safe skating. Oh, I actually got like--
It like broke my fall, the netting. Okay.
I found a really nice flat area because like I said,
I'm not happy until I get to space. I've jumped to the entire board. I've broken basically
every bone in this guy's body. What the hell? What the hell?
What the hell happened? It's just a black screen. I'm just getting points on a black screen. Infinite points. I went down to 26 feet. That's great. I didn't actually go up.
I went to hell. All right, I've gotten to hell.
I need to get to space. We don't need ankles where we're going. I'm like the John McLean of skating because the more I skate,
the more I get the hell kicked out of me. My entire body, and-- Oh, yes. There it is. To space. We did it. [LAUGHS] That's all I wanted was just
to go straight out of the atmosphere. I wanted to show the very moment where a young man
trades in his skateboard, hold on, and becomes an astronaut. Anyway, folks,
hope you enjoyed this episode of Skate 3. I'm going to heaven. Until the next time.
Stay foxy and much love.
