-All right,
we’re checking out the only game where you can create
new bones specifically so that you can torture people
by breaking them. [screams] [smashing sound] [laughs]
It’s hero Stickman Dismounts. [sound effects] I’m not gonna lie, I am so happy that someone went right ahead and did professional voice work
in this game. Now, as is fairly typical
in this bone-breaking game, we, of course, have to find a way
to completely destroy the physics of the software
and break infinite bones. But I have to give
this particular game props because, besides having one billion freaking maps,
[sound effects] all the stick figures
have special abilities. [laughs] This gives you an idea
of how insane the creator went. Oh my God, I am really glad there’s a slide to hell,
but you gotta start somewhere. So we’re going into jump hole. Now, we do have some vehicles here
as well. I like how one of them
is just called the LoveChair. [laughs]
The price for it is $6,900, of course, it is. I got like a free future bike. Can I afford any props? I love the bladed hypnosis
that’s going on here, oh and a double penetrating thruster. Uh, what kind of props we got,
saws, arrow turret, a blade turret. Now, clearly, I need more money although I will put some beady gloves down
here because I can afford them. Excellent, oh and I can wear stupid stuff too
like a missile. All right dollar store Spider-Man. I love
that he has spider BO coming off of them. It’s fantastic, and [sound effects]
[smashing sounds] yay, right, yep
Spider-Man definitely super agile as you can see here using his, Oh God, tongue to lick the ramp. Oh, I completed an achievement, is it? You ruined your childhood hero. I didn’t get all the way down the hole
which is kind of annoying. So we’re going to just ride
this thing to the bottom. [music] Right, you know what?
Now we’re going to do this. Oh, you can use it whatever you want. Uh, my spine, [screams] oh, that’s hot. Oh, yeah, [bell rings] right in the balls. You know that worked out pretty well. Eject, [screams] I’d like to get into the wheel
well if I can. Come on keep going Spider-Man. Just resting my head on the, uh,
broken metal, [smashing sounds] beauty, uh. Oh yeah. Now, we’re starting to get somewhere. Holy God, just got 50,000 coins. We’re going- we’re going straight
to the big leagues. Uh yeah, let’s do this one. One of these has to eventually give me
the potential for infinite money. I still can’t buy the 69 chair. I can get better props though, uh, yeah, more saws,
in fact, all the saws. Go, shit, [screams] oh, yeah. I probably should have held off
on the spider powers. All right, I’m just gonna go ahead
and ride. Never mind, I’m gonna get hit
in the face by my own tire. Come on Spider-Man, keep moving. No, [prompt sound] we’re nowhere near infinite bones yet. I am not satisfied. [screams] I always think that just holding on to this motorcycle is probably
the way to go. All right, oh nice.
In between the two of them. You know what? Can I-
can I just Spider-Man myself right into it? [sound effects]
[shooting sound] What the hell is happening above me? Yeah, just take a little off the top,
perfect. Only 4,100 bones. [buzzer sound]
Child’s play. I can buy the pinwheel.
Oh I can buy the missile in a second. I am [screams] the-- part of my-- [laughs]
I was gonna say part of my motorcycle is stuck inside of my abdomen. All right, now Spider-Man
you’re way up there. Come on, he’s like,
“Listen, I’m paralyzed. Give me a break.”
All right, 5,500. All right, now I can legitimately
buy the missile, right. What the hell does it do? [screams]
[music] Huh, I’m I off the board?
Yes, I’ve left the entire board. [laughs] Ha, ha, ha, oh, this is what’s over here 5,900. All right, considering I have
the missile and the web sling, there’s-there’s no way I can fail this. Well, I call it a web sling. It’s-- I guess it’s
[sound effects] whatever he managed
to get from Costco. Oh yeah, we’re getting
all the way down this time. Oh my God, they are stuck deep inside
of my balls. Yes, infinite, infinite go, the blade was just stuck at my groin,
he’s actually doing it forever, 12,000 bows, we’re gonna do this. This rocket is the best purchase
I ever made in my life. [screams]
[sound effects] Man, if there’s one thing I love doing,
it’s eating part of my motorcycle. This is a great place to get stuck. It’s fine, I’m sure Spider-Man
can heal through this. Come on, use it, use the rocket, yes,
[prompt sound] 9,200 bones. [sings]
We’re going for a year of a lifetime. Glorious rise up my [?] 13,000, there has to be a way
to get into the millions. I don’t know what rage stick
is but I want it. [screams] Oh my God, what the hell? Can I-- How can I even web sling?
There’s nothing for me to web sling too. I’m getting infinite points,
because I ripped my rack doll in half. [laughs] I can’t, I’m not even on the screen. Look at the score, yeah. Well, I just realized
now that you can completely dismember the characters in this game. This game just got
a thousand times better. We’re going to meteor valley. I had to throw some money
at this so that we could do this. Oh, yeah, yeah, all that. All right shield stick, it’s about time to get whatever
the hell a blade turret is too. I grabbed the steam as well, oh. [music] [church song] Sweet baby Jesus. Actually, I’m going to do steam down here. Anytime you see green balls
in a stickman game that means you’re going to be bouncing
and a saw here. There we go, and we’re finally doing it. We’re getting the LoveChair. [laughs] Yeah, get up deep in their cap, perfect. [smashing sound]
[screams] Oh, damn it this freaking chair protected
the hell out of me. [screams] [smashing sound]
Get in there. Okay, there’s the shield. I think I’m actually gonna replace
all these with steam. Problem is we need to get over
all this crap into the bouncy area and eject, [screams] perfect. Yeah, just rest,
just rest your balls on top of the-the tire there, beauty. All right now, we’re gonna-- [screams] come on arc your ass over there. It’s a lot harder
to get over on this side than I, uh, previously anticipated. As much as I hate to do it, I think I’m gonna get rid
of the LoveChair for now. Actually, hold on. There has to be a way to get my body stuck
into one of these things. [screams] Oh, I needed that half of me.
[crying] Come back legs. Aw, I love how this is just called
container. All right, yes, perfect. [screams]
[smashing sound] I don’t know where that half
of my body went. I was gonna say which-which part
of the body is the important one. Let me try rage. Oh, I can- [laughs] I can make the entire cargo with me. This is the part that the game decided
to focus on. [laughs] It’s like one bicep. Oh hey, there’s my pelvis up,
up, and away. Oh, yeah, [music] he’s like a graceful swan, graceful swan. Okay, the points are starting
to rack up now. Oh yeah. Oh, flipping is the way to go. Oh, it’s freaking glorious. Okay, we’re at a quarter million. Come on infinite points, no don’t get sucked into there, nice. Our little brain damage is fine. Every flip now is getting us
like 15,000 points, yeet. [laughs] Oh, you son of a bitch. Okay half a million that’s still
not good enough. [smashing sound] All right, I never actually got
over this way. So let me see if I can-- uh, oh yeah, I was gonna say experience
what it’s like. It’s pretty glorious. Where’s the balls? [music] [smashing sound] Oh yes, we’re finally utilizing
iron man’s drug-abusing cousin. You’ve heard of-- [laughs]
oh my God, I was gonna say you heard of iron man. This is iron flan,
shark jaws tell me more. Oh, this looks absolutely punishing,
I love it. [prompt sound] So what we’re gonna do
is put a couple of saws here. I might as well use the blade turret. I paid for it after all. I want my- I want my appropriate level
of masochism. I put good money into this agony. Here we go. [smashing sound] All righty, yep, that’s not bad. [smashing sound] Hmm, I don’t really know
where that blood came from. [laughs] Oh, this is glorious, [screams]
[smashing sound] this is probably the best, the best one yet. [boxing sound]
Get your ass off there. That was like the worst Spider-Manning
I’ve ever seen in my life. Thank God I have all these different toys
to ruin my life with, crap.
[smashing sound] I feel like the problem
with this bicycle is I’m only driving it, uh, well, I’m either driving it
with one hand or Spider-Man has half
of his shirt untucked. I really don’t know
what the hell is happening here. Oh, [screams] [smashing sound]
oh, that was an epic dodge. Just go ahead
and eat this Shrek ball here. Huh, [screams]
[smashing sound] I feel like I made it through there
a lot better than-- oh my God. [screams] [smashing sound] Jesus, I got double fisted. [screams] [smashing sound] Oh yeah, oh there we go. All right. [screams] [smashing sound]
Now, let’s uh, hold on now. This can’t be the end. Go ahead and rise up my son. [screams] [smashing sound] Beauty, I mean at least we’re getting
into the Ten thousand’s with bones pretty routinely. But until I start getting
into the hundred thousand’s, I don’t really think it’s good enough. Slide up you say. I hate physics too. What the hell? How come these blades get
to be on steroids? This is the slowest bicycling I ever did. I actually screwed up, poof. [screams]
What the hell? And he really wants
to hold on to those handlebars. Look at the size of the blades. How come my blades are so crappy
and their blades are drinking all the damn protein shakes? There we go. Let me go ahead
and Spider-Man my way up here. [screams] [smashing sound] Beautiful. Oh, yeah. Oh, that’s Matt. Oh, I was going to say
that’s maximum thrusting, aw. How come I got counted down? What was my pelvis dislocated
and doing its own thing? When in doubt,
cauterized the wound. [screams] Oh, right. Well, right now my arm
is stuck into my spine. [smashing sound] I feel like that is a medical anomaly. Hey, so far so good. You ain’t done yet. Get your ass up there. [screams] [smashing sound]
Oh, hell, yes. Oh, this is fantastic. Fall up was-was a great idea. Where did I end up there? Where the hell am I? Aw, let me go ahead
and rock it my way up here. Mm, there’s still plenty more ups to go. I do appreciate that Captain Stick
is a blue blood. And, now, I’m going to go ahead
and chew on my own toe. Yay, [screams] [smashing sound] getting all the flips in. Oh, there goes one of my arms. [screams] [smashing sound] Luckily, that was the arm
I don’t use that much. Oh, I wasn’t an adventurer
until I took a thruster to the knee. I think I hit
every single Shrek ball there is. Use the kit. Look at the speed. [laughs] Damn it.
My arm was still getting points. 53,000 bones. Oh, the shield is a homing device. I had no idea. [laughs] I’m stuck inside of the car or motorcycle. I experienced
so much traumatic brain injury. I forgot what sort of--
what-what type of vehicle it is. [laughs] Oh, what is happening?
[laughs] If I use the kit, what-- it gets thrusted. My rocket is gone. I’m getting a ton of points somehow. I’m not going to question it. I’m just going to let this happen. Oh, yes. I told you I’d get 200,000. Oh, what the hell, 220, 240, 250. I love that. I-- I’m just getting points now
through my body’s disinterest at life. Right now, the figure
of shield stick is like, “I have been through so much.
I don’t want to exist anymore.” It has opened its own black--
Oh-oh my God, I’m getting 10,000 points a second now, 389, 390, 400,000, 410, 423.
[laughs] No, why would you take it from me? Look at the score. This actually looks pretty awful. I won it. Torture is life. Oh, yeah, [laughs] my God, this was such a good idea. I’m doing excellently. Oh yeah, 38,000 bones. I think if I can get into here, I think I can go infinite. All right, so eject, prop. Let me see if I can get over this. [music] Missiles, [explosions] okay, how about this? Eject, [screams] if there’s one thing I love,
it’s skydiving into arrows. Oh yeah, there we go. Come on fly, fly, fly, fly, fly, fly, fly.
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go. No. [explosions] I was trying so hard
to keep me out of there. [screaming] [smashing sound]
[explosions] Ahh, oh, oh my God, I’m literally stuck to this thing, [laughs] Jesus. [prompt sound] That went quite well. Don’t mind me. I’m just resting on these arrows. Oh hey, there’s the other half
of my body. I was waiting for you to show up. [screaming] [smashing sound]
[background music] And made it, yeah baby. Oh, give me that. Oh, yeah.
Oh yeah, give me the points. Give me the points. [screams] I want my LoveChair this time. Oh, yeah, we’ll, throw down more steam. This should work well. [music] I got to tell you, I understand why they call it
the love seat now, oh. I want to see if I can get
into this tiny little hole right here. I’ll bet if I can. I can-- Oh, oh, this works very well too. Oh yeah. Oh, you don’t. You’re going to count me out. Oh, yeah. All right, not bad
but still not good enough. I’m not giving up until I crash
this entire game with points. Let’s try saws instead, yeet. [screams]
[smashing sound] I want to become one with the love car. Oh yeah,
I am one with the love car. Damn it, I’m no longer one
with a love car. Come back love seat. [crying] Don’t leave me. Actually, maybe you leaving me
was a good idea. This is turning out to be very good.
[scream] [smashing sound] Oh yeah, it’s so lucrative right
in this corner. [screams] We don’t need Achilles tendons
where we’re going. I like how he’s just pelvically thrusting
against the wall and getting a ton of points doing it. I will sit here forever game
until I can afford everything. Oh, you’re not gonna screw me over. Uh, 50,000 bones
still not good enough. I want infinite. [scream]
[smashing sound] Oh my God, that inserted itself
into a terrible place. Why is it always the balls? [screams]
Oh God, oh so painful but so good for points. Oh, I think, I’ve-I’ve lost enough strawberry jam
at this point. I haven’t even hit the ground yet.
I’m already at 70,000 points. That ain’t bad.
Oh, oh, I’m stuck in the wall this time. Yes, it’s raining raspberry preserves
on top of the people below. [music] [scream]
[smashing sound] Well, I mean I got in the place
I wanted to be. All right [music] we’re getting closer
to infinite points. But we’re not there yet. A lot of balls. [scream] [smashing sound]
[explosions] Well, there goes one of my arms. Could have been a leg too.
I’m not really sure. Okay, definitely.
[scream] [smashing sound] Oh yeah, baby I love it. Oh, oh, my head
is caught inside of the vehicle. This is perfect. Yes, yes, yes, infinite points. I told you it was only a matter of time. [laughs] Oh, oh, it tastes, mm, it tastes like sweet victory. Spider-Man is like,
“It tastes like a mouthful of pennies.” Look at it go. Yeah, I got to massage my other foot. Yeah, that one.
Excellent. Perfect. Yeah, now, massage the groin,
beautiful, hmm, this is what I paid for. I-I crashed the game. I legit just crashed the game. [laughs] It couldn’t even [?] points.
[laughs] [coughs] Well, folks, I just proved
to [?] another developer that I will crash their game with the amount of death
I will bring upon their stick figures. Hey, folks, hope you enjoyed this episode
of Stickman Dismount Hero Fly. Until the next time,
stay foxy and much love.
