When Someone Cheats On You, Do This

I had a question about cheating and I always did this question how many how many people have been cheated on before oh yeah I got two hands like this that was kind of cheating I'm all good I think I didn't find other finds of doing I just had a sneaking suspicion so I'm gonna say something about cheating that some of you may not agree first of all the club of cheating is not exclusive to men people cheat for the same reason they get into relationship so much you get into relationships for selfish reasons you stay in relationships for selfish reasons and you get out of yourself it's not the wrong day you're not going to be with someone who doesn't have anything to bring to the table even people who are looking for pain people who can only be in a relationship with someone who causes them pain that's what that person brings to the table so there is something in this from me and when there's not anything in from me it's time for us to that's okay but when it comes to cheating people cheat because something is missing maybe it's missing in the relationship maybe it's something that they have not found in you maybe there's something that's just missing and then I always think about a test we don't cheat on tests when we have all the answers that would be stupid it wouldn't make any sense but when we want to pass the class it sounds kind of tempting because I want to remain in the class I want to pass so I'm gonna risk you something's missing so you're with someone something's missing he or she decides to go out and get his limbs now if you've ever been cheated on you know this hurts we take it personal you still betrayed we feel hurt it's hurt on top of her when we met you know in light and then of course you get all of the I'm sorry's all that stuff in that person maybe sorry even when people cheat most times they feel remorseful when they're doing it and that's just it you into the matter if you've ever done it yourselves you know it's not something that you really want to do but people don't really leave relationships for sex they just get it outside and come back home which is very selfish so what do we do when someone cheats you ready for that the first thing you need to do is know whether or not you're going or staying the worst thing you can do since this all lady said the first thing that's the worst thing that you can do rabies is to tell a man of the genetic Oh and stay I thought your boundaries were here now I know they're here now I know exactly what to say I know does that mean what to do in order to get you back because remember we all want to be ourselves in our relationships we all want to be the good and the bad but we know that the bad part will get us rejected but the moment I find out that I can be the bad part and you're not going anywhere oh it's game on it's game on so that's the worst thing you can do you need to know whether or not you're staying or going before you save the porter so go from zero to a hundred real quick then you're right back in the bed so now you know you got it going so you need to know you also need to know or have some convincing proof because guys are gonna item do it today it wasn't me to death if you don't have any conclusive evidence may as well for you look back now you're going to be left with your securities and you're probably stay in a relationship if you want to stay in a relationship I'm sorry is not enough understand this you need to know what was missing so many times when this happens the first thing I hear is she wasn't even as cute as me I can't believe it it's not about cuteness why would he cheat on you with someone who looks as good as you that would be pointless remember cheating is about what's missing it's about what's missing so if you find out what it is that's missing him you know if he doesn't know what's missing he can I'm sorry you to death but he has to go he has to know remember a relationship IQ self IQ he has to know what is it that I'm missing what is it because I'm sorry can't be enough because he's gonna be sorry the next time I'm sorry the next time he's gonna be genuinely sorry but he's gonna keep doing it so what is it that that's mister if it's something that that's missing in him okay now you have the leverage again what are you going to do to put that piece back there's something that's missing in the relationship what is it and be honest with ourselves about if you can fill in that piece together if you bold enough to say that is something missing in you listen what is it exactly what is it what is it and when it tells you you can either put it in the BS category or you can say that's something that I can work on now it doesn't mean that everything goes back to don't know he got to pay you got to be got to work his way back in but that's what a relationship is especially when you're not married I'm just gonna give you up some truth here when I talked to the college campuses we do this thing called man vs. penis when a man wants one thing where the penis is like I didn't say I do you did and so they struggle with this inside themselves we can't expect day one boy friends we can't hold them to the same standards as a husband a lot of times they really just have not developed I'm not excusing them but we can't control them we can only control ourselves so it taking responsibility for ourselves our hearts our relationships our dating lives the standard is in order for us to move forward we have to be educated about ourselves about what we don't have we have to be responsible and we have to work on this thing together it's not a one-person show I don't want to put someone on your back and carry them especially why they're hurting

Channel: J.L. Ford

Views: 961,796

Rating: 4.8457255 out of 5

Keywords: cheating, relationships, love, help, jereme ford, JL Ford, Wear Yes on your heart, black men, men, women, sex, marriage

Id: dcXBu3NqAOQ

Length: 9min 59sec (599 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 25 2015