Why Do Men Cheat?

it's a relationship issue that has been all over the headlines men and infidelity it's a nice way of saying why do men cheat GMA special contributor Steve Harvey is here this morning with answers we're going to talk to the author of the best-selling relationship book act like a lady think like a man about this hot topic in just a moment but first we spoke with men and women all across the country who weighed in on this hot issue I think men cheat because because I can't wait a minute because they're probably not happy with the relationship they're in I think it's in men's DNA to have more sexual activity they're lonely they're pigs I think the women cheat they're a cougar or they're blues and if a man cheats like go get them guys guys let's cheat this is for sex it's not a baby may not be an emotional attachment but with women there's definitely an emotional element to that [Music] I think that's just an excuse for you know to say that all all men cheat but they don't that's just giving someone an excuse I think it's expected not expected but allowed yeah Jim a special contributor Steve Harvey is here in hi Steve good I do I'm great I'm great you know you said when you're out holding your seminars that this is one of the top question that you get I mean without a doubt is the number one question as you know and it's it's a big question because it's it it's it causes a lot of pain ships because it violates the trust and it's so hard to get it back once you've done it you know it's probably the most painful thing out there all right well let's get to some of the questions that we've had again we talked to people all across the country and this is a question it's from Kathleen and we heard this over and over and over again Kathleen question for you Steve Harvey how would I know if my boyfriend her husband is cheating what are the signs well if his cell phone rings and he's in the shower and he runs through the glass door to ask and if he sleeps with his cell phone duct tape to his thigh I think really the more serious answers become you know if there's an attitude change you know if your man doesn't care anymore about the intimacy or whether you're having it with him or not if it doesn't make a difference to him if he's indifferent to it that attitude adjustment is serious and then the big one is if his intimate performance with you has changed if all of a sudden you're seeing new moves and brand-new tricks you know this is guys our imagination ain't that good we have got to go practice these things we can't just bring them in there you know we got it all practical signs all right let's get to another question and this is a question that some men in relationships say they struggle with so hey Steve if somebody's flirt with me how should I handle that it's the oh it's not my fault is that what it is yeah well he's lucky of death somebody's flirting with young me you know you got to be careful because flirting pushes the primal instinct button in men because by nature you know we're predators and so if you if you show that little twitch flex reaction that look dangled the carrot and we immediately go for it it's a very dangerous thing to flirt because at what point does it stop because if you keep the flirting up eventually it's gonna lead to something you know and the best way to do it is just you know laugh at often girl you crazy you know another question this is Christine from San Francisco hey Steve I have a question if I suspect my fiancee of cheating is it okay if I check his emails and phone records you know I don't really like them personally I don't think it's good I think you should respect the person's privacy you know and then as an old saying you know that if you go looking for trouble you're gonna find it here's a deal if your guy is cheating you're going to find out you don't have to go looking for it you always find out now if that's if he's cheating but if you're wondering if he's cheating you know because in light of everything that's going on today everybody know I wonder if my got one of you wondering and you go looking you're gonna find something it could be an innocent email it could be on the phone number that's attached to business but if you stuck it in your mind while he's cheating too and you see this stuff it could it could turn into something else I know a lot of relationships that are shot now I mean gone because someone suspected and went looking and found something innocent and to turn into something that it really wasn't they're saying no text messages and all that that's lipstick on the column from back in the day yeah welcome me in text messaging matter I quit text my that's all my notes is by carrier pigeon 62 married and she wants to know this about about cheating why are all these men that are in power thinks they can get away with it you know it's not just me in a power you know cheating is not reserved to me and a power it happens to the truck driver the cab driver to janitor it can happen to anybody it happens to women you know men men of power just have more opportunities you know what women fail to look at this thing sometimes a guy there are trophy men just like their trophy women now just like women that men want a car there are men that women want to conquer our guy walks in the room has itself established fame wise money wise there's women over there eyeballing this guy he may not even be aware but that's why the athletic bus pulls up at the hotel what's it filled with a lobby full of groupies because guess what they want the trophy guy they don't care if he's married or not so for the famous guy the powerful God it's just tougher it's more opportunities position you know the best thing is to go I just want to go home I just got to get through the minefield to get that but you know it's not just men not just minute you'll see women do it too another question what can I do to prevent my wife from cheating Wow you you very rarely get that question you know talk about it but it does have it it happens a lot a lot more than people discuss cuz my radio show I get these letters all the time from women who are have these great guys that are providers do everything he's supposed to do but yet and still she wants something else but it's rare because most women if you if you're attentive to them if you are a provider for them if you're communicating with them if you're loving to them if you're giving them the things that most women want most women will stay put the average woman is really decent she'll stay put because because she's she's gone out she once she has what she wants you know most women will stay put in that situation so when a guy goes how do I keep my wife from cheating this is a guy I can assure you is not taking care of his business those are the questions we have but there was one other one that came by email and it's one that we were talking about a lot in the studio and I can just hear our momma saying this once a cheater always a cheater you know once a cheater always a cheater is that the case because let's come clean here now you have spoken about how you've made some mistakes in your past you've learned from those mistakes so some of us are you speaking from experience well okay Oh national TV you know made some mistakes in my life you know you get married you don't third marriage and I'm very happy now but yeah I've made those mistakes you know because but people have to know it wants to cheat always a cheater that's not a true statement people groan people get better people learn from their mistakes people move on people discover what we're wrong before and learn how not to make those mistakes again and that's a very myth that women have passed down throughout the years that once a cheater always a cheater you've lost some great relationships because women bring that baggage to the next relationship and it kills something that could be really good so I'm very happy now and I go home so let's put that on TV thank you thank you so much for your straight-talking do you have a question for our man Steve ask him on our website abcnews.com and read an excerpt from his book

Channel: ABC News

Views: 4,909,893

Rating: 4.7115602 out of 5

Keywords: Steve Harvey, cheating, men, warning signs, accusations, views, questions, health, abc, abc news, news

Id: b4nYHEON4Vo

Length: 9min 17sec (557 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 17 2009