I Got Cheated On... Here is My Advice.

whatup guys haven't posted on this channel in a long time but yeah basically the relationship that I was in and did today and kind of want to talk about it as you can see in the title so no surprises and as you know longer version is gonna be on my second channel ah let's go into it also I'm not looking for pity or anything you know I'm not looking for you guys to be like hey everything's okay if you want to do that by all means go for it but I'm making this video more for self reflection and hopefully you guys can learn something from this let's start at the age of 14 actually I was raised a pastor's kid surprised my whole life and at the age of 14 I prayed it was like do you Jesus please make my first girlfriend that I ever have be my wife then I was single for another 13 years uh so yeah I'm 27 July 11th I finally get my first girlfriend and it's amazing it's so much what I thought it would be like you know just having someone who really wants to be with you and he's just so happy and all smiles to see you you know they want to hold your hand uh you know the kisses feels so warm waking up in the morning next to them you just feel like their warmth you smell their hair you know your fingers interlocked they roll over and say good morning and their potent morning breath hits you but it doesn't matter because you're so infatuated you're so happy with the moment and it's an amazing feeling and I can still feel it just talking about it thing you need to realize is that oh that is a huge thing that can make you give up so much of yourself your morals values your character because you want to keep that feeling there you know you're afraid of them getting upset or the relationship to potentially fall apart because you want that feeling that acceptance that happened a lot with me I always felt like you know things should be a certain way in terms of communication I think communication is very important my love language is younger physical touch biggest one words of affirmation physical touch because I'm all horny pervert words of affirmation because I was very insecure so I felt like if people told me that they liked me or appreciated me it meant a lot now it's changed I actually value quality time more in words of affirmation and the reason for that is just like communication is really important to me I am very blunt I will tell you if I feel uncomfortable in a situation and if the situation is uncomfortable because of something that you're doing I would appreciate if you try to you know tell me why it's okay or at least make an effort to change it that's just something she didn't do for example one time she was going back home and I was like okay cool you know have fun I find out day before she's actually gonna be staying in a hotel with another guy and I was like whoa this is weird she said no we're just friends and I was like but didn't you guys have a thing before she was like well yeah but we're just friends now and I was like no but it's so strange still like why can't you stay at one of your friend's place or why can't you you know like why does it have to be with this guy in a hotel room and she just felt like it's not that weird you just have to get over it and I thought maybe it is something that I had to get over it but looking back now I was 100% correct that should not be happening and if it is happening you and if you are gonna put your significant other in a uncomfortable situation where you are staying with someone in a room that could potentially be seen as intimate you should say hey um my friend has a room that's free and they offered for me to stay here now I'm only Herbal staying there if you are you don't tell them that I'm gonna stay here be comfortable you tell you tell them that this is happening now I'm only gonna do it if you're okay because it's a respect thing you're respecting your significant other enough because you care about this relationship to be like okay I understand that this could be a scene is really bad and I'm showing you all my cards I'm showing I have nothing to hide because I want you to be okay with it another thing is you know I said at the age of 14 I wanted it to be my wife I put that huge expectation on this relationship I'm a hopeless romantic super hopeless romantic okay uh when we were going out I would write handwritten letters about our dates like after is like oh we did this and it was really fun I'm excited to do all these other things with you uh and then at the end I would have them all in an envelope and I would give it to him oh hey give it to her at the whoa I would give it to her guys I swear they're mine what who cares 20:18 I'm not really gay but if you think I am Pardew whatever um I would give it to her and she was like she really appreciated because she really liked handwritten letters and you know I'm someone I like handwritten letters especially if somebody appreciates and I would buy her flowers like every week or when the flowers would start to die I would like change them out and because they just make her smile and I liked doing those things I liked showing her that I really cared because I'm a hopeless romantic but because of that I put so much expectation on the relationship you know I was like oh you're gonna be someone big and important in my life and she knew I felt that way and it put a lot of pressure on her and it made her feel like she had to rise to the occasion or something instead of us taking the time to enjoy each other and their relationship and another thing is because I was insecure and she's so beautiful I was like oh she kind of likes me I'm gonna to this relationship I'm gonna pounce on it before anyone else can because I'm afraid I'm not good enough as a person you know that's it's not a good mindset to have take your time getting to know someone really embrace all the moments that you have where you can really get to know them find out how they really are before you know diving into a relationship because if they really like you they're not gonna be like you're taking too long they're gonna enjoy the moments with you then it's gonna happen we broke up after the hotel thing she broke up with me the reason is I was so insecure I felt hmm if I have the best sex with her she will not leave me and it was amazing she will even say that but I left the small Hickey and she felt I was marking my territory and so she said it's basically like you feel insecure about this and so that's why you did this so I think we're done and she broke up with me and that was a my first breakup okay huge hit me hard crying for days I stream on Twitch to my twitch chat sees me crying okay they're gonna mean the hell out of me bruh but then after a while they felt bad so I appreciate you guys oh then that wasn't even the first time I cried over her because we would argue about other things that she would just she would only see her way she had a very narrow view on life and you know she was kind of spoiled and sheltered and privileged um and for me I was just like oh this is kind of cool cuz I get to show her how you know life is and stuff but it's to the point where if it was not how she things she didn't agree with it she didn't have the open-mindedness to accept that hey maybe there are different views in life that can be correct too and for me I don't think I should be with someone like that I want to be with someone who's open and they want to learn more about life she was also getting close with her ex during our relationship and I was like okay but I didn't want to be a jealous boyfriend you know cuz I you always hear about jealous boyfriends being crazy and stuff so I was like oh that's weird that you're friends with your you're best friends with your ex and she was like oh you know but it's been a while it's been about a year you know we're good now and I asked a lot of people it is weird I'm telling you now it's weird to be best friends with your ex it's super strange it feels like you haven't let go come to find out haven't let go because he came back into her life about a month ago and she would go back home and I would be like okay cool but once she leaves no communication like very little it would all be from me she would never reach out to me and I just felt vir very iffy about it um my gut feeling said something's wrong but she would also say no nothing's wrong nothing's wrong and she was like I just want to be with you I just want to be with you and again in the beginning like I said that feeling of acceptance it can blind you so hard so this past weekend I was not this past weekend uh recently I traveled somewhere with her and when she was leaving on her flight to go back home I you know I told her I love you and this because I'm that type oh really good she wish you hopeless romantic and she's not someone who usually says it and she said it back like I love you too and I was so floored I was like maybe we're getting somewhere now and then she went to her hometown and I got nothing and zero and I find out she's hanging out with her ex again now it's like something's definitely wrong then when she came back she was so affectionate it's like I got really these all all you these gifts and I missed you do you miss me too hold my hand I want to spend so much time with you and again the acceptance I was like oh my gosh this is so weird why is she being like this but then just before she was being really distant and I've learned like if people are hot and cold with you they're hiding something that's not just how they are normal people are not just like that they're hiding something but the acceptance kept blinding me so well I reached out to her ex and I said hey I know you know who I am I know about you let's talk this sorry battery died um basically long story short she promised both of us like exclusivity where she's like I just I'm only with you you know I only want to be with you and we were both just like what you know like why would she promise both of us that why maybe it's you know maybe you do like two people but I was very open and I said look like we're not together right now we're just dating again because we broke up but if you're seeing other people with that's fine I just prefer if you tell me and she's like no I'm not that we're exclusive I wouldn't cheat on you I never would and there are times I thought that she was and I would ask and she would always be like no and so when I talked to him and basically they had hooked up several times and then she flies back to me and just all affectionate my heart broke and I felt dude I don't know I'm not gonna be sad I felt so used and unappreciated and that's why I'm telling you these are their red flags that you can pick up when red flags happen especially early on ask the other person hey this what's what's going on and if they're not willing to change let them go let it go there's so many other people out of there in the world for you this one person isn't gonna make your life amazing they're gonna make it so much more stressful if they keep disregarding your red flags because they're saying that's just how I am if that's just how they are you don't want to be with them be with someone who wants to grow with you so I don't even remember talking about but basically I confronted her today and said hey I know everything and I still want to be friends with you because I care but I need time but I know that you have difficulty making actual guy friends because these she's so pretty like a lot of guys just want to hook up with her and for me I just you know I want to help her be a friend maybe this night even foolish of me because I'm like trying to make her a better person or I see that you know there were moments where she was a good person I can be honest and say maybe it's the hope that if she does get fixed we didn't date again it'll be a great relationship but we can't because I basically told her acts I said hey you've been chasing her for super long time she's clearly damaged goods right now for both of us but if this is what you really want I will step back and I will just be a friend to her if she's okay with that cuz the guy is actually pretty cool man yeah we're pretty similar we play video games when we're talking but we're talking about video games and twitch streamers the people that we watch and we both deserve better than what what's happening to us I know I deserve better and now I'm not gonna accept any less that's crazy I just want to say like know what you deserve know what's awesome about yourself because before that relationship I was like she's very pretty I should be happy and give up everything just to make her happy it's not true look at me is lighting I'm damn sexy all right I'm funny my twitch am stuffy they're hyping me up - I love my twitch chat dude you guys those of you who are in my twitch chat Twitter on TV slash Yelp all I love you guys man you guys hype me up when I'm feeling down you're like Paco shut up all right don't let one person ruined your happiness you are so awesome you make us laugh you entertain us you connect with us you give us advice why do you give us such great advice but you can't take it yourself thought about it it's true so I appreciate you guys for that I'm taking my advice now I'm only accepting the best and what I desert and I hope you guys too I hope you guys do too as well except the only the best yeah I'm single I'm not broken I'm hurt but I'm not I guess devastated most importantly I'm not alone uh yeah I guess these were all lessons that I learned and I learned a lot more but it's really hard to put them all in a video I just wanted to say that again know what you deserve and I don't know why for some reason my ex is watching this when I found out everything I told you is gonna be okay and you hated it you're like what are you talking about I kept saying it's gonna be okay it's good because I know your ex truly cares about you and I truly care about you no matter what happens things are gonna be okay even if it means we never talk again I'm gonna be fine and you're gonna be fine think he's gonna be okay n'yar thank you

Channel: yellowpaco

Views: 1,491,840

Rating: 4.9519725 out of 5

Keywords: Will, Pacarro, yellow paco, yellowpaco, hawaii, comedy, watermelon will, relationship, advice, cheating, ex girlfriend, how to get over someone, how to get over breakup, how to get over cheating

Id: teqBbi5Iksk

Length: 19min 23sec (1163 seconds)

Published: Fri Nov 16 2018