What's the Dumbest Way You Almost Died?

like the video and subscribe right now and i'll show you a picture of blob doggo ready three two one what's the dumbest way you almost died i was playing at some church camp as a teenager they had us running around in the dark well they had a guy wire from a telephone pole in basically the middle of the forest and i ran into it at neck height you know in cartoons when someone runs into something and their feet fly up even with their body and they fall down i'm pretty sure that happened to me i had a very nasty cut that was pretty deep on my throat and i'm pretty sure if it was just a bit deeper i would have got the important arteries lol i could be wrong though similar happened to my cousin except instead of running he was on a snail mobile didn't survive guy wires are dangerous as hell played in the shallow waters of a lake before knowing how to swim father told me not to go further in and being the stupid rebellious child i was i immediately went in further and sank just as quick luckily my father was watching and a former lifeguard so he jumped in in full clothing and pulled me out the next day my parents bought me floaties i loved water as a baby and my big sister loved me and hey after baba swimming i floated so my sister dropped me in the water however being seven she hadn't learned what allowed me to float and that bubble baths were slightly lacking in the buoyancy department so i sank like a rock in the murky water of a public bubble bath cue a lot of crying from a seven-year-old and general panicking when i was 19 i ate a mango and it was a large piece and it got stuck in my throat i started to choke i found it hard to breathe and couldn't talk my brother did the heel itch maniver on me and the mango came out i laughed about it a minute later because imagine defeated by mango written as your reason for death it's really good your mom didn't panic i almost choked to death at a work lunch my food came out way after everyone else's and i was rushing to eat so we could leave and i'm normally the slowest eater in any group and i started to choking my coworkers all kind of freaked out but none of them helped me i eventually coughed it up though imagine dying in the middle of a restaurant because you're choking and everybody just panics lol almost fell to my death from the second floor of an abandoned theater because i was running down a flight of stairs that are just cut off midway someone with the fastest reflex skills just grabbed me by my shirt and pulled my backwards don't run in abandoned buildings as someone who urbexes often i second this born with a lump in my throat that was blocking my airway it was so bad that i was turning purple from air loss by three months old but the doctors kept telling my mom they couldn't find anything wrong finally was rushed to children's hospital where they did emergency laser surgery to remove the lump almost died to complete incompetence thankfully the people at children's were much more capable settle down man sometimes kids just turn purple new mothers are such worry warts hypothermia kayaking through the drains under manchester wearing jeans and jumper using an inflatable kayak which burst in november after drinking a bottle of whiskey that's right up there near the top of the list i guess that's the most manchester thing i can think of haha hooked shirt on roller coaster flying by while i was operating it sure tore butted threw me a meter onto track just behind it i crawled off in time before it came back around despite knowing that it was too early in winter for the ice to be thick i decided to see if i could run across the frozen river one night i was aware enough of the risk that i took my coat off to reduce weight sigh so of course i broke through and of course the current was enough to take me downstream away from tahoe i made all that was in my head was you are going to die for being ducking stupid ended up sort of swimming to tear bank and breaking out by crawling out found my coat snuck home because you don't want to explain the whole story to your parents that's one hell of a nightmare scenario to be in glad you survived i was very sad and drank lots and lots of rum i woke up covered in vomit all over my bed i had probably vomited multiple times in my sleep i was alone i could have choked on my spew and died i avoid rum now had similar experience except with pills home alone squeezed between the wall and my bed really bad hallucinations couldn't walk or even sit up apparently i called a friend crying about how i was going to die and that i needed their help ambulance came had a seizure about a week in the hospital and luckily i avoided the loony bin duck that [ __ ] speaking from personal experience i'm honestly surprised i managed to call my friend when i did apparently after calling i became unresponsive i have snippets of memories paramedics tried talking to me and i truly believed i was replying to them and having full-on conversation but they would talk amongst each other about how i wasn't responding i remember being frustrated because i was clearly stating i could hear them i told them what medication i took how i was feeling the hallucinations etc i felt like i was doing a good job telling them my situation only to be told i was unresponsive i thought their comments were part of the hallucination too only months later i found out i was completely unresponsive an ash t-shirt when i broke my leg at my friend's pool they needed to do surgery because the break was bad and i found out that day i'm allergic to it so walking on the outside of my friend's pool i almost died and it had nothing to do with drowning i hear that got an mri use the contrast on me went into anaphylactic shock bp went to zero they had to use the paddles to restart my heart all because my left eye went blurry when i was a young hippy i'm male i was working with a large commercial drill at my job and i got my long hair wound up in it and it sucked me in until it tore a large chunk of hair out along with some scalp hair is still thin in that area 50 years later god that's terrifying there was a lady where i live who had a similar accident i think with a four-wheeler or similar i was little so i never heard many details thankfully but my mom was extra paranoid when i didn't put my hair in a ponytail while playing after that gf and i were hiking at 6am on a mountain trail we stopped to admire the sunrise over the mountains when things got a little intimate a jogger runs by which spooks both of us with my shorts around my ankles i slip and fall to the ground and come within inches of falling off of a 500 plus foot drop he died doing what he loved most falling off cliffs i don't know if i could have died but i was really young and an adult sat on my back it was a ton of weight i was blacking out if i remember but fortunately they got off in time when i later asked them why they did it they just laughed and said i was being annoying back then my aunt did something similar i was playing a game while i was on my bed and she decided because i wasn't happy enough to see her i hated her she would just sit on my head i had a sleeping bag on my bed and i couldn't breathe at all i blacked out and she was apparently laughing the whole time even though my much older cousin had to roll me over before i could start breathing again she wonders why i refuse to see or talk to her almost 25 years later came home high when i was like 15 with mcdonald's had to stealthy make my way in the house and up to my room without waking up my dad decided to eat all my fries in my kitchen in one big gulp passed out and woke up on my kitchen floor in loving it the i'm loving it part is what sold it tried to set a tire on fire and roll it down a cliff at a beach barbecue while drunk underage fell on my ass and rolled off the cliff slowed myself down enough to prevent me getting any air and scraped myself bloody all the way down ripped my jeans from calf to belt and ended up really bloody but luckily only ended up free falling 10 feet and landed on a relatively flat rock which saved me terrified of cliffs now i felt incredible pain in my abdomen and laid in bed a week hoping it would go away by the time i asked to go to the hospital i was in sepsis i was out of my head in pain couldn't eat high fever etc apparently i had about with diverticulitis i had no idea what that was mine perforated and my white blood cell count was insane the perforation was pouring toxins into my body cavity they didn't do surgery they only ran a tube down in my back to drain the death sludge from my body my kidneys and my bladder were trying to shut down i'll never forget that pain for as long as i live i was on mega antibiotics and it saved my life even after leaving the hospital i was on antibiotics for another two weeks had this happened to me several years ago they would have had me in surgery and i would have had some of my colon removed and i would have had a colostomy bag but these days they hit you with tons of antibiotics and they've been having success i learned to never lay in bed for a week with pain like that never again trunks swimming in the ocean i was a competitive swimmer in hs so i was pretty confident in my abilities around anybody of water my dumbass decide one day while drinking with friends at the beach that three beers and a couple of shots in was the perfect time to go for a swim in the ocean friend joined me while the rest stayed sunbathing and working it neither of us were so drunk but after a few minimums we were really far from sure and the current kept dragging us away from shore luckily the lifeguard spotted us and helped us back to the shore because while we weren't drowning we were getting really tired and further and further away boy did i learn the sea is to be respected at all times using a pickaxe while tired was using the flat end to break up dirt it got stuck i yanked it causing my feet to slip on the dirt while i basically pulled myself straight down on the spike end my arm shot out and i landed in a push-up position with the tip less than an inch from my chest i called it a day after that this one winsamo was a quality engineer in a motor assembly plant responsible for test cell work where engines are run for checkout at that time guys still wore ties i was facing a gigantic engine with whirling pulleys in the front just happened to look down and saw my time moving toward being sucked into a pulley and belt and jumped back had i been in half second later my head would be lying on the floor and my body would be in the process of being chopped into pieces be careful around moving machinery folks ties kind of suck in general i can't imagine how much nope i would give to a job requiring a tire that might also cause my death during a trip to the shotgun range a clay pigeon flies low and away from the guy who is currently shooting the range safety officer says something to him and he turns to face him for whatever reason his shotgun goes the other way and is now pointed at my head with his finger on the trigger so ducking lucky it didn't fire kinda similar used to help with the youth shotgun program very safety focused so this is really my only story in the 10 years i was a shooter with them slash helped out one night during the dog days of the season we would always allow new kids participate and just get a feel for the game trap shooting one evening i was in the clubhouse and another coach tapped me on the shoulder and asked if i could fill a slot on a newbie team for the evening i think it was to just get the kids used to the tempo of the shots so i grab my gun and walk out to the staging area introduce myself to the shooters and their parents and out we go to the field for reference im shooter number five so first kid shoots second kid shoots then i hear high pitched screaming so i'm thinking did someone just unload into their foot extremely rare but not unheard of and the range officers would have stepped in long before so i glance around and see shooter number three curled up with a presumably loaded shotgun and screaming waving everyone on the line with a gun range officers disarm the kid quickly and get him removed but for a solid second i was thinking really we find out at the end of the night the head coach took us aside and explained what happened turns out the kid was very far on the spectrum and the noise set him off as well his parents knowingly lied about it on the papa work none of the coaches or safety officers knew they were asked told to not return after that so i found out one day that cinnamon causes me to have migraines if i get migraines bad enough i need to go to the rbc i become a phasic well the reason i know all of this is i ate a cinnamon roll and passed out due to the following migraine and hid my head on a door frame think the stereotypical victorian faint head first into a solid door frame gave myself a severe concussion death by cinnamon roll is not how i want to go i'm allergic to cinnamon but i developed the allergy later in life so i'd already eaten things like cinnamon rolls and they are good well one day i decided that i'd eat a bunch of churros because churros are freaking amazing and it was worth the risk so i took two banana drill and then ate a whole plate of cherries and i got very very short of breath i was home alone and ended up passing out and was still pretty short of breath when i woke up benadryl in advance probably saved me from actual anaphylaxis but needless to say my partner now refuses to allow anything cinnamon in the household mayo bernard will probably contributed to passing out but i used to take it as a sleep aid so i know that it takes longer than that to knock me out the cinnamon was definitely a factor there i invented a game when i was 13 the name of the game was highway roulette or buck a truck and the object was to get cussed out here's how you play it make sure that you live on a hill above a highway or can get to a hill above a highway easily next get out a bike that is essential go to the top of said hill and start pedaling as hard as you possibly can when you hear vehicles when you cross the highway the driver will inevitably floor the brakes and lean on the steering wheel then jump out and start yelling their choice obscenities if you're lucky i'm surprised i'm still alive to write this you are unbelievably lucky to be alive idk where you live but in california you would have died trying to cross the highway guaranteed you've been visited by cool puppers you will be blessed with their coolness for 24 hours but only if you comment your so-called papa [Music] thanks for watching do not forget to subscribe for more daily videos

Channel: TZ Entertainment

Views: 8,860

Rating: 4.9891744 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, dankify, tz reddit, toadfilms, dumb ways, die, dumb ways to die

Id: ilv-G7ouvqs

Length: 15min 45sec (945 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 17 2021