What's It Like Having LGBT Parents? (r/AskReddit)

serious children with LGBT parents suffered it how do you feel about it are the sayings right do you feel like you're actually missing something I was adopted at Birth by an interracial gay couple in the early 90s when it was still extremely difficult for gay couples especially men to adopt I was the only girl in my school to have two dads for most of my childhood and this was in a liberal US city with a large LGBT population I was always the unique one always had a lot of explaining to do to my peers and was even barred from participating in a few school events because I had two dads to be quite honest that was the only crappy part about my upbringing my dad's are awesome parents I think the fact that they had to wait so long and go through so many hoops for a child made them especially committed parents when I finally came along not clingy or overprotective by any means it just really solid hands on parents since I wasn't a newpsie baby like many kids end up being my parents were truly prepared emotionally and financially to take on the extremely difficult task of parenting compared to my peers and I'm probably partial my childhood and it's lingering effects on the person I am today was phenomenal my parents weren't ever afraid to skirt around potentially awkward issues about growing up for example my first period buying bras first day TTC and always emphasized that I had a strong network of female relatives and close family friends to reach out to if I ever felt the need to talk about girls stuff directly with other women I know and I'm still friendly acquaintances with my birth mother and I truly feel thankful to her for giving me to my awesome parents though my family faced a lot of discrimination as I was growing up both implicit and explicit my dad's led by example and never back down from it all let ignorant and hateful people win they instilled in me the importance of being yourself and to never be ashamed or apologetic for who you are I consider myself a great counter example to all the bigots who claim that children of LGBT families are somehow scarred or have a deficiency caused by the lack of a father or mother figure I am happier and more successful in life than so many children of traditional families that I knew growing up my dads are rad and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have found them I am not missing a dang thing birth mother here I adopt it out to a gay couple since it's the first and only time I'll ever experience it I had tons of questions and worries about how that decision may affect my daughter your story gave me a huge boost of hope I have two moms and a stepmom so I'm both a child of gay parents and a child of divorce when people ask me this question I usually reply well what is it like to have a dad it's all I know my family has plenty of issues so I definitely feel like I missed out on some things but I don't think being raised by all women was all that relevant the biggest problem growing up with gay parents was other kids parents a lot of kids weren't allowed to hang out with me and the parents who would have me around would ask strange intrusive questions or make comments I think that most of the mean things that had ever been said to me in my entire life have been from other people's judgmental parents while I was a child and it's the worst b/c you can't really stand up for yourself without talking back at that age so that makes sense to me that parents gave you the most difficulty had a friend tell me he was part Irish I said but neither of your mom's are I reach then it dawned on me reminds me of modern family lily tells Gloria she's gay and Gloria freaks out because she's only six years old or something like that Gloria tells Mitch and cam who confront Lily well my friend ex's parents are Italian and he's Italian my parents are gay so I'm gay okay so my mom divorced my dad to be with her lesbian lover when I was eight my mom and her girlfriend were together for ten years until her girlfriend passed suddenly and now my mom is married to her wife who has never had sex with a man but had two kids via a sperm donor who are around my age a long-term partner died suddenly as well hence why she and my mom kind of got together if you would have asked me or my brother this question in middle or high school we would have said that while a gay home is obviously better than no home there is something missing in gay homes that straight homes provide the perspective of two genders however since meeting my step siblings who never had dads and the five of us having some long drawn-out discussions about all of our upbringing we concluded that the reason we felt that way when we were younger is because it was basically like asking us how would you feel if your dad wasn't around so of course we felt weird about that the more we discussed and talked about how our emotional and material needs were met and all of the family friends that were in the picture throughout our childhood we think that if we were born into a family where we only had two female parents we wouldn't have ever felt that way it was kind of a weird progression but I think my confusion as a child was caused by people around me politicizing my situation rather than framing it in a way that is realistic if that makes sense that does make sense this is exactly how society can form a person in their opinion thank you for sharing your experience I think you made a worthwhile connection between the influence adults can have on how a child cognitively framed something my mom's had been together eight years before they had my sister and I came along three years later I knew that we were different than most families but I grew up with parents who love and support me no matter what dumb crap I do and I can appreciate that on a different level now that I'm an adult I know plenty of people with opposite sex parents who can't say that one of my mum's my non-biological one transitioned to male when I was 19 and that was a very difficult adjustments to make my mama became my dad and I had a hard time keeping pronouns straight and he had a hard time not being frustrated and all around it was more of a challenge than I wanted to admit things did settle down and he moved back to the west coast where he was from he and my mom didn't make it even before the transition they hadn't gotten along in years we all kept in touch and we had about as good of a relationship as you can when you're 2,000 miles away he died from a brain tumor in September I miss him every day I really think my upbringing made me more open-minded and loving less judgmental and kind thanks mom and dad don't mind me it's not like I'm crying or anything I am sorry for your loss my dad came out when I was 3 after over 10 years of marriage with my mother I don't remember it but my mother still seems bitter about it even after two long term relationships afterwards my dad has been married to two men since he came out I think him and his current husband are both wonderful I don't care if my father is gay even with my mother non stop telling me how unnatural it is my dad is in love with a guy and that guy loves him so it shouldn't bother anyone I just get on with my life and enjoy seeing my dad yes whenever I see them they still made a huge effort in raising me and who are more caring to me than my mother ever is however when you have one real dad and two stepdads fathers dick can be a very expensive time I don't remember it but my mother still seems bitter about it you know I totally get that it's sort of pulling the rug away from under her my mom realized she was a lesbian when I was about six so most of my life I grew up with two moms to add to this I don't have any uncles and my brother is also gay so I grew up in a feminine household to say the least I can't denied made me more feminine in the traditional sense I'm much more open with my emotions than most my age I'm very open with compliments and like to talk deeply about things my mom is also lesbian and as a male I definitely agree that I am far more in tune with my emotions and the average male and find it easier to discuss them I'm grateful for my upbringing and wouldn't have it any other way the first 12 years of my life I was raised by my straight biological parents I ended up in the foster system and was adopted by the woman I proudly call my mother today she is a lesbian and honestly her and my soon-to-be stepmom are the most wonderful people in my life I am also a lesbian I have a beautiful wife and we have an amazing daughter my mom saved my life literally from drugs in jail and I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her I didn't miss out on anything I couldn't ask for better parents my mom's got together when I was around seven after my biological parents divorced so I wasn't missing anything since I still had my dad in my life as well overall I think I was incredibly blessed to have same-sex parents I got to be a part of the lgbtq+ community from a really young age which really just gave me a great perspective on life some people just think it is about sex but it isn't it's about love platonic love familial love parental love romantic love I am so grateful for all of the wonderful people I have had in my life my mom's referred to as mom and stepmom didn't come out to us for several years it's embarrassing how long I believed that they were just best friends who lived together seeing as I lived in the same house with them I actually outed my mom when I was 11 during a stupid fight and I feel terrible about that but the worst parts were my older sister she was never a fan of our stepmom for the record my stepmom is the nicest most loyal most giving person in the world even after she and my mom split she goes out of her way to take care of us and make us happy even though they are just friends now when my mom came out to her she was horrid she was concerned with what her friends would think and to this day anytime both moms will be at an event she freaks out about how she will explain the situation as if it's some dirty thing my mom should be ashamed off at her wedding she went out of her way to tell our stepmom I'm not going to have you do anything in the ceremony because it's family only and I don't consider you family like Dan dude even if you feel that way you don't have to say it location we lived in a small Texas town well he would not be accepted so we didn't get to know our neighbors my parents were never on the PTA or anything and never came to my school events it was just easier to avoid questions somehow some parents and out when I was in grade four I was never invited to another birthday party or sleepover until high school parents went out of their way to tell me that I was not invited to parties they wanted me to feel bad people tell me and my family that we are all going to heck which is annoying even though I am an atheist people tell me that my family doesn't count as real because we aren't all blood related people just in general feel the need to stick their noses in my life and for some reason think that it is okay to say truly horrible things to me or ask really rude questions I'm so sorry people suck , lesbian stepmom here just came here to give you all a big thanks for posting your responses I just finished 10 years as a stepparent you're the one who deserves some thanks for stepping in to be a part of a pre-existing family my dad came out to my family when I was 12 and although it was very traumatic and life-altering for my mother things were okay for me and my brother I was raised to appreciate and respect the LGBT already at that point so it wasn't him being gay that was tough at all just the aftereffect six years later it's hard to remember a time where he was straight it really only made my family closer of course that's just the surface explanation I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything my dad is happy and now I think did my mom isn't so there is a negative and a positive to it my father is transgender when he broke the news I was heartbroken but not surprised there were too many clues growing up I went through a period of mourning I saw it as losing my dad being his little girl I knew I was treasured so what would this new change bring after coming to terms with all the changes I've grown to realize that I didn't lose my dad the outside may have changed but on the inside she was still the same caring and supportive parent I had always known I feel I had gained a good friend we have a much more open and relaxed relationship at this point in my life I don't need anyone to parent me so it's really great to have a very close friend in her I feel like my life is richer as a result like maybe I leveled up as an individual it's a nice gift to be able to accept people who they are i see the many facets of people and have grown to appreciate them more i don't know that i would be such an open and welcoming person if i hadn't gone through this experience a friend of mine has two dads one is pops and the other is dad she was taught all the things that a girl would learn from for her mother by her dad who has done an amazing job being a feminine example to my friend dad does her makeup every day and helps her stay fashionable and as the typical stay-at-home parent duties she is incredibly well adjusted very kind absolutely charming and very very well dressed up vote because I've always wondered what word people used to refer to each aside from just using their names thanks my parents divorced when I was 2 and my sister was 4 my mom came out of the closet and my parents divorce was amicable my dad took full custody so my mom could in his words figure her life out and didn't request that she pay child support my sister and I had stays with her every other weekend after about a year or two her life partner was a significant fixture in our weekend visits and soon we were taking vacations and staying at her house when we would come over they were in a relationship for 25 years up until four years ago I've always treated her as a second mom I still visit with her pretty regularly and make a point to involve her with my kids as they are growing up I would say that I didn't really miss anything because of my mother's sexual orientation I can't really say what cause it might have had on my personality I didn't have a tough time with bullying or anything like that I will say that I wish my mom had been more open about what their relationship actually was I was now even just believed that my mom and her best friend life partner really enjoyed their time together it wasn't until I was 14 that I openly asked my mom about their relationship and gotta kind of I figured you knew responds so well not that big a deal in the grand scheme of things that have always stuck with me as an almost cop out from not wanting to explain life to your kid I hope I am NOT going to get buried I have two moms and they broke up when I was in fifth grade I do not think I missed out on one was more more masculine and the other more feminine so I almost had both in a way they could have done some stuff better especially when they broke up but they are human and make mistakes other than that they has not been any problems I know especially now that there is nothing that I really missed out on my mom has a new boyfriend and he is convinced I don't understand the way the world works because I have never had a man in my life he has taught me nothing that I did not already know and is a negative cycle butthole he taught me how to spot them better I guess I sometimes feel like he thinks his dong is so long that people should duck every time he turns peers also uses the n-word and calls people P which is nice s I would have preferred to not have to deal with him in my life and keep two moms I'm sorry you have to put up with a butthole like that not once have I questioned if I was missing something from my mom's parents divorced when I was 13 my mom's girlfriend moved in and that was it I have to give my mom's GF more credit than I can imagine she walked into an already established family with two angsty teenagers but she didn't hesitate to become part of our family even though she had no previous experience with children yes had past father moved away got remarried and pretended like me and my brother didn't exist my mom's GF has been the best thing that has ever happened to my family people will occasionally ask me if she replaced my father or whatnot and I respond the same every time at first I chuckle then proceeded to tell them that without her I wouldn't be Who I am today I am close to 30 now and if it wasn't for my mom's GF now wife coming into my life I have no idea where I would be if you put me in my 13 year old shoes again I'd never say this new lady I just met would make such an impact on me but she did and I don't know how to explain my gratitude towards her entering my life so as far as missing something as concerned that's entirely situational based on one's parents Guardians and how they are willing to raise you my dad didn't come out until I was 18 and my parents were already divorced by then so it really did not affect me that much he never had a part my boyfriend that I knew of after he came out but he did spend quite a bit of time in gay bars since I was already out of high school by the time he came out I really did not tell friends or feel the need to talk to people about it my answers a little different but here it goes I went into foster care as a teenager and because I was never adopted I had nowhere to stay after I turned 18 and graduated high school I met two lesbian couple through an organization I was involved with in high school and I stayed with them the summer before college and during holiday breaks when the dorms closed they were my foster parents I never felt like I was missing out on anything at all in fact they gave me everything I had missed out on a family a safe and loving home and a place to spend the holidays I wish more families especially LGBT families considered adoption and fostering because it is a great option for everyone involved so happy for you finding a family which I heard can be crazy after foster kids age out of the system hugs my parents divorced when I was 20 and so I think my dad came out like four or five years after it to be honest I kind of had a clue because he was always hanging out with one guy and doing a lot of couple things he was afraid to tell me because he didn't know what I would think I told him I didn't care at all as long as he is happy because that's what counts most gender doesn't matter in love I honestly couldn't be any happier for my dad he is so happy now it's great to see his partner is one of the most awesome people I have ever met - they live literally two minutes away and my girlfriend and I go over there all the time to have dinner and game night also a week after my dad came out my sister came out as well it really hasn't changed anything for either relationship we are all just happy that everyone else is happy we are all very close and hang out quite frequently my mom is a lesbian so I have to stepmoms one on my dad's side one on my mum's and it didn't really affect me because I was already about 13 years old when my mum came out I was always taught to accept people for who they are so when my mum came out as lesbian I was completely okay with it I was born to a pair of lesbians love errs now eventually that relation went south I was only a month old at that point so I don't remember the other and my birth mother eventually got into a relationship with someone else I was raised by the two of them and a few years back they were finally able to get married if anything was missing from my family it was that the ability to say my parents were actually married and that it was recognised I love them both more than I could say in words and I have a wonderful relationship with them until I got into the school system I never even realized there was something different about my family I just figured all families were made up this way not really I grew up with two months it always had contact with my biological dad who I always visited a couple of times a year for me it was nice to actually know him without having him around 24 Strokes 7 as a parent if I'm missing anything that's on me I think both my parents are gay my mom asked for sperm from her gay friend and had a daughter I visited my dad a few times a year growing up gradually less and less so that hasn't really affected me I'm often afraid for people to know she's gay because of how I think they will judge how I turned out they will think anything abnormal about me is because of how I was raised if I had a gay sibling instead I'd like to think I wouldn't give a crap what people thought I'm guarded in what I say about my personal life probably seeming closed off and unsociable that's all my choice and caused by me if I could be more open and act like myself I'm sure things would be better for me I'm old enough that I shouldn't care anymore but it's hard to break habits my dad was either gay or be not sure and I can't quite ask since he's long dead divorced from my mother when I was only three he dated women but it could have been performative in nature he divorced from my mother but never seemed to get into any meaningful and romantic relationships with any women after that he'd never just go to that next step when he was with women he never dated men probably in part due to general homophobia and more specifically how it had affect me and my sibling half of our mother's side thinks LGBTQ people should be put into concentration camps and/or exterminated and the other half doesn't see anything particularly wrong with that so it wouldn't do wonders for the relationship it was a shame that he never did really date again because he had a hole in his life whereas my mother remarried and dated then divorced and so on he was never really harsh on me or my sister when we showed signs of being LGBTQ or not confining to gender stereotypes and expectations so that was pleasant something we haven't gotten from the rest of the family I suppose we did miss something but it was a complete family unit and it seems like it was at least partially because of homophobia to be perfectly honest the only thing I'm missing are those extended relatives I used to be close to who huffed away in a rage when my dad came out as trans I've only just started trying to rebuild those bridges we were really tight-knit at one point and the years have kind of allowed people to separate into either much more understanding tolerant even to the point of a total 180 inches or actually managed to get worse my uncle came out gay years later when he already was married with two kids he's a bit of a douche tbh I feel bad for my cousins it was always difficult for them and their mother just passed away this year with ALS every problem I've ever encountered connected to my gay dad has to do with other people's issues with my gay dad he's just my dad my sixth grade teacher did say the reason I couldn't do long division was that my father was gay though so maybe there's something there your sixth grade teacher sounds like a bigot I can't imagine which sexual part someone likes affecting someone else's ability to do long division I'm late to the party but Wow an ass credit question I can actually answer as myself so idk if my situation is the same as most but I was raised for lack of better word by a tripod lesbians I had my two mothers and then a bunch of other lesbian couples who also had kids through artificial insemination adoption because of this I never felt my situation was weird even when my parents separated about 20 years ago now it sucks but I never brought their sexuality into it one mom is married now and the other is single to be honest being raised in the Midwest my situation is a complete miracle and the fact that in my 20-plus years no one has ever said anything bad about my parents to my face except a stupid kid at summer camp I have never felt like I was missing something because I had people who loved me and took care of me and the only reason I would ever want to meet my donor father is just to see what the heck looks likes and also see of the bastard knew he was carrying had Crohn's disease I had friends in my situation who wanted a dad and I could honestly never relate to that I was perfectly fine without any father figures in my life although I think it's also why I honestly have a huge issue with a man telling me what to do why I don't get along with most people's dads like this video and this good boy will play you a nice song like and subscribe you magnificent person [Music]

Channel: On Tap Studios

Views: 19,417

Rating: 4.8797688 out of 5

Keywords: parents, parenting, parents stories, lgbt parents, lgbt parents adoption, having lgbt parents, parentalité lgbt, lgbt, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap

Id: KL5Mv0UW3dM

Length: 25min 15sec (1515 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 05 2020