What Would You Do? (Relationship Talks)

hi y'all know it's special when she hits the hood and we are together what is up family you guys all over the world thank you so much for joining us we're here on sunday tonight is it special it's gonna be special absolutely first um a couple of disclaimers like go ahead and tag somebody right now yes this is gonna be good but we're about to do one tonight it's gonna be good and depending on um the feedback and if you guys enjoy this we'll possibly do it more right um but things up a bit yes uh but i do want to number one thank everybody uh who has been just so faithful and following us rather it's the discernment series um the kingdom vibes only series we hear you we see you we thank you we thank you we do have kingdom vibes only apparel coming we're working on it so diligently yes it's gonna be great i'm excited and um i want to give a a a special thank you to you version uh so many people have tagged us today i know i'm so proud of him it's us we want we want we won we won thank you so much um you version everybody who watched today they uh allowed me to grace um the bible app on today and don't miss the verse of the day and i'm just so thankful and honored uh just just for the opportunity to be able to open god's word and share it with millions millions of people uh it just amazed us like i remember being in college walking around with airpods in my ear listening to the bible like listening to the audio bible back then they didn't have like the teaching like how we have now but i just it's just so amazing how i went from reading the bible to being asked to be featured on the bible and i said i would never do this like this whole pastoring preaching i said i would never be a pastor never ever ever ever don't ever say never never say never yeah look where god is but you were saved while walking around college and i was thinking about the bible i was detoxing jesus you were holy that's that was there was you were righteous no i was detoxing just on college campus they were just frats all down to you know the uh what they call that it's the tiger walk they were all down the tiger just strolling and listening to music and do the stanky leg and then all that type of stuff and i'm trying to detox from all this music so i really was just like making sure i could not hear what everybody else around me was uh engaged in because my mind was just so perverted uh just so engulfed with filth and i just was detoxing but god was setting you apart though he was he was setting you apart for such a great and mighty water community glory so glory i'm proud of him i'm extremely i'm a proud wife god has called him to do great and mighty things for the kingdom of god i'm glad that i can partner and partner with you to do it babe i'm honored to partner with you as well um so uh thank you guys so much for everybody who's been tagging us and reposting and sharing um it means so much to us and then also you guys have been amazing due to all of your seeds and contributions yeah we were able to raise four thousand dollars for hurricane ida louisiana yes i promise you your seas are making a difference especially thanking a convoy of hope who have been on the ground and handing out water and handing out food and whatever people have need in new orleans and haman and i think in grant isles uh louisiana just helping and now y'all got to pray for us we got a tropical storm nicholas coming to houston and y'all know he tracking it because he's you know meteorologist flowers i say it every time he he tracks stuff out it's a depression the in the pacific it's a storm in the atlantic you know the the wind pressure is changing don't you feel that like that feels so judged that's my i'm not exaggerating i'm not exaggerating those this man could have been a meteorologist but in all seriousness do pray for us because he has been tracking it been in conversation with the meteorologist because he they're they're on a first name basis yeah and he loves jesus too oh my man a local meteorologist travis herzog he loves the lord shout out to him abc13 they they they tweeted he tweets yeah so um but there is you know something coming so we're praying that it's not as as bad you know we have definitely seen bad weather before um in the city of houston so just keep us in prayer as we're um trying to plan and prepare for this upcoming storm yeah and you know we'll do everything we can and of course everybody all over the world um if something does happen we definitely will keep you updated and how you can partner with us we don't believe in just preaching we also believe in reaching amen uh you know i just really firmly believe that you are many times the only bible some people read so they may never ever come into the sanctuary they may never ever watch alive no matter how many times you have shared the link with the individual they may never watch but they could possibly experience a love of jesus if we're able to just give them clothes give them water so yes thank you so much for that but tonight is going to be special yeah can we get y'all to put in the room it's going to be special it's going to be special um we are continuing our kingdom vibes only series on thursday um dealing with um not in my house i don't even know if i'm going to call it that because i'm really really dealing with the the kingdom thing so uh i'll know after tonight i'll study and figure out what god wants us to do but tonight we want to talk about what would you do what would you do if you have been watching um our youtube channel or any of our social media outlets from time to time we post different scenarios to just trying to get your feedback and try to get you know people talking and conversing amongst themselves on what would you do in this particular situation so we're going to show you a few of those scenarios and we're going to dissect them with you right so we want you like on tonight you do not have the right to remain silent you don't like you're going to be interacting with us going say what you want to say yeah so this first particular scene after i pray you know just to set the atmosphere right this first particular scene is a scene where a young lady is talking to this guy and he sends her a text message and we want you guys to see but first we want to pray and then let's get to this and make sure you put your comments in the room or what you think um and so that we can kind of address them so first and foremost god you're awesome you are sovereign thank you for this time uh via the via the transportation system of social media and the internet and streaming to be able to reach people all over the world and we pray that um we are able to come together you told us in your word that there is safety and a multitude of counsel yes which must mean there is danger outside of it so we're thankful for this time to just come together to break bread and to be able to experience kingdom ways on how to respond to different scenarios in jesus name we pray amen amen so this is the first scenario y'all check it out and we're gonna come back and we're gonna talk about it [Music] [Music] hello what are you doing i thought you were going on a date like i thought you had like this smoking hot like steamy date that she was about to go on like what are you doing i'm not going there's no point i just text him i said hey just wonder this is our third day i'm just wondering i just want just for clarity where is this going like what's what's the next like what's going to be the next step he takes me back i don't want anything i don't want anything romantic i just want to be friends so what is that so what's the point of us going on a date like or is it a date maybe he never said it was a date so maybe it's not a date maybe maybe i'm moving too fast i don't know but either way i'm not going um so it sounds like you're already like starting to develop villains for him and everything did he ever like give you like an inclination that he was trying to like be in a relationship right now or was he just like hey i'm just you know i like you you're cute but i'm just having a good time like you never got you never got anything from him [Music] should she still go she said she's not going first miss flowers i want you to address this mia says this is her third date she's excited yeah he said listen i'm not looking for anything romantic just friendship unpack this what do you think from your perspective talk to us okay so on on her on her side of things if she is looking for a relationship and she's not looking for a platonic friendship i understand how she feels she's like okay well i'm thinking that this is going in the direction um of a relationship and you don't want that you're not looking for that you're you're not interested maybe you think i'm a nice person or cool to hang out with but that's not what i'm looking for so i do understand the whole like i'm not about to waste my time if that's not what you're looking for um then okay cool i would not i wouldn't just be like i'm not going i would probably say you know i would probably communicate like okay well i i thought that you know we were kind of fiving or you know it was that that's what i'm looking for and so i respect that you're not looking for that um and maybe i misunderstood where you know your i don't know what we were doing i misunderstood i thought that it was dates i thought we were you know chilling vibe and i thought you're like hey date number three but i mean that's not what he's looking for i mean and then on his side i can't i can't fault him if he's saying hey i'm not just being honest i mean he could have lit strung her along for like several several well it was only three yes you know it's day three so he could have kept stringing her along but he was honest with her you know and i think that's what we want like i think we should be be willing to this is my opinion i think we should be willing he was open with her and say hey i i want to hang out with you however i'm not looking for romantic you know you know i'm not looking for anything romantic right now so he told her the truth and she what she does whatever she wants to do with that information like okay if it's not what you're looking for cool so she should have appreciated um to a certain extent now here's the thing i understand her being a woman and her being disappointed because she was clearly um feeling them and wanted to you know was excited that's why she texted hey i'm looking forward to it yeah um and she was clearly disappointed because you know you may feel rejected you may feel like hey i thought you were filling me up you know i thought this is you know there's a school of feelings that could happen um but she never should i think she should be grateful because it came out like all right this guy's not looking for anything now if you if you're not looking for platonic friendship like i don't some people like i don't need no more friends i i'm i'm good on friendship however i know that we've done don't touch on that yet that's mine oh yeah i'm doing that okay well i think i i think that it's important that you know people are honest with one another if that's what she's looking for it you know you don't know what the state of her life is she could be established she could and that that may be something she's like i want to be serious i don't really you know i'm not looking for a friend i want to be in a relationship and if you don't see me in that light cool i think you're a great person we can see each other some other time but if if that's not what you're looking for then hey yeah all right cool that's that's well that's my perspective there's another side to it but you said you touching on that you guys you know keep putting your comments norm on what you think um first off i think this particular uh young lady i think mia married him in her head i think she viewed him as potential husband we have to be really careful careful with that of seeing the altar before you ever got confirmation that's a whole word a lot of people have mentally seen the altar before you have actually seen god's confirmation or his hand on a thing and one of the worst things you could ever do is be at an altar not confirmed amen you talking about nervous your feet should be cold you're right you should get cold feet you should be sweating and crying because you have put yourself in a position where you're gonna try to do a god thing marriage you're going to try to do a god thing in your own way i have to have god's confirmation on this before i ever make this decision i understand listen marriage is too big right i think these are the two most important decisions that you can make in your life number one accepting jesus christ as your lord and savior and number two who you decide to do life with absolutely who you decided to life with so i think she possibly viewed him as a potential candidate as one that can help her get off the market whatever it may be two scenarios with him i do think he possibly let her on oh okay i think that for her to assume that this was date number three there had to be something between date one and date two that feel actually like a date okay there had to be some type of i'm interested in you you're interested in me type of chemistry that was going on to make her get to that place unless she wanted it so bad that he really all along was viewing her as a friend right and she wasn't viewing him as a potential just friend yeah and so she got a feeling to her so because a lot of times people can jump the gun yeah i think she either jumped the gun he either gave her false hope or mixing mixed signals um just like mixing medication is dangerous you don't ever want to send mixed signals um and then also i think we really that's the part i said i was going to touch on we really really have to get to the place to understand romance is messing stuff up listen y'all romance without friendship equals heartbreak i agree the culture teaches us romance and then try to be friends the bible lets us know no greater love than this then he who lays down his life for friends jesus speaking about him laying himself down right like friendship friendship is what's going to keep a covenant absolutely this is what we've said so many times there are so many married people listen there are so many married people right now possibly watching this that are not friends they're not friends they were good orgasm givers they were good companionship oh lord have mercy but they were not good friends which is why in the discernment series i spoke about that's not what friends do i think we need to really relearn and unlearn what true friendship is friendship is greater than romance right it is yeah at the end of the day tanisha is my friend she's my best friend so it doesn't it doesn't really matter yeah about if the romance is off on a certain day or not i know that i know that she's my friend i know that she has my back and i have hers so i think one of the things that we really have to be careful on is uh the trap of potential yeah because potential can be a trap he has so much potential she has so much potential it can be a trap and it can cause for you to create a mental forecast in your mind which conjures up which conjures up present feelings and this may not even be a future covenant right does that make sense yeah and i've been i've been in mia's position before of course for you um i've been in media's position i've been in a place where i've had feelings for a person and they didn't want that and you know it does hurt so we're not we're not gonna especially if you hold on wait what hurts i mean if it hurts because you want them to feel the same way about you that you feel about them but what hurts is what i'm saying it hurts it hurts that you're like okay you're talking to this person and you're thinking this is something like you said the whole married potential thing in your head you're thinking this could go somewhere because look every most people i'm not gonna say everybody because some people don't want relationships but lots of people in our experience want a relationship they want to be with that special someone they want to be and you know uh have some be booed up being a roman you know that romantic place with somebody that has feelings for them right and so it hurts because you want that feeling right you want oh i have feelings for this person they're attractive they're funny whatever and you want them to have the same feelings for you and it's kind of hurtful where you're like wow this person doesn't see me the way that i see you know see me as the way that i see them or want me the way i want them however back to the my first point i was grateful because and it was two different situations one situation um i had feelings for this person for a very long time and i've kind of felt like for a long time they were kind of stringing me along and clearly that just not with god we were friends however for a very long time and that clearly was not what god had for me but i'm i'm grateful for the friendship that i had in that person but god didn't want that for my life so i'm glad it whereas in moments it hurt i'm glad god didn't take anything didn't allow anything to happen and on the other hand the other one yes i had feelings for this person and it was i was very vocal about it and they came back and said you know well you know i thank you for being open but i don't see i don't see you like that and then i was like okay but i still remain friends with that person even though i i understood okay this is not what he sees okay i gotta i gotta move on right and then i still was able to be cool with this individual so i'm on campus will still be able to laugh and talk and so i think it's important just it's okay to be friends and it's okay to be um you know be honest about your your intentions i don't think it's i don't think you should ever go and string somebody along for a long period of time and them not knowing you know it's hey i'm i'm just friends i'm not even looking for that let's just be let's be friends and then it could potentially turn into something but don't don't give somebody a false sense of hope yeah and don't give yourself a false sense of hope i think that's important be honest with yourself and be honest with someone else okay and that i think that will save a lot of unnecessary like oh could this person be my husband could this person be my wife it'll save those thoughts um and save your heart you know and then if you're praying and asking god to lead you and give you discernment about you know who he should connect and connect you with then you then you're even more careful what i'm saying so romance and toxic case discernment okay romance intoxicate discernment and one thing i want to rephrase that she said she said i think it's okay that you could be friends first it is a must no for sure it is a must hear me must be friends first i must be friends first and the reason i asked you i said what hurt is because i think more ideas are hurt than feelings did y'all hear me i think more ideas got hurt then our feelings got hurt but our feelings are so married to our ideas that when our idea gets crushed we say our feelings are hurt okay this makes sense okay so i the idea of this being my husband and the fact that he's not that hurt yeah the idea of her being my wife right you understand what i'm saying unless you know we've engaged in like sexual morality and things like that and so now the pain is more severe right because of things that we've done that are only that it's only supposed to be reserved for covenant but i think a lot of times it's the idea the idea of what success looks like right the idea of somebody wanting that hurts that hurt the idea of me having two children the idea of me having a great following on social media and so what happens is when god is trying to train you for the heart but it doesn't look like the idea our heart really starts to break and so he's oh i'm so broke and i'm still like what happened man he said that he wasn't he didn't want to do date number three he just wanted to view me as a he just viewed me as a friend it hurt my feelings or didn't hurt the idea but not saying your feelings your feelings aren't valid yeah but i just want us to consider did this hurt me or did it hurt my idea yeah go ahead what you want i mean and and here's the thing like that's all real it's valid and and yes the idea but i still remain friends with both of those individuals you had to remove the idea i just had to remove the idea but once i was honest with myself and with that individual and they were honest with me yeah then i was like okay remove this idea this is not what god has right and that's why i'm like don't be honest with yourself be honest with another person because ideas instead of feelings ideas could get hurt right yeah you want to be honest with people treat people like you would want you know that was the verse of today the golden rule so this is scenario number two you often keep on giving your feedback but i just really from a lot of counseling and talking to people we have a lot of ideas we have a lot of images in our mind yeah that we foresee becoming a reality and sometimes we project that idea on a person yes and so when she doesn't meet the idea that i placed her to be in my life then now i'm broken right so sometimes you just have to reevaluate was that my feelings or was that my idea right um the second scenario is really good is my wife and i well we're not going to tell y'all just check it if out of miles away the sky's just as blue it's as if i'm stalking yesterday when i'm thinking of you cause when you have your morning coffee yeah so uh that's that's what i do and i take you know i take my job seriously so it's good yeah i mean but i really want to know more about yourself uh i don't know about you your interest uh i don't know about me huh yeah who's that uh i don't know but uh you don't know nah no bro call whoever it is doesn't matter i'm just gonna spend time with you okay good okay um so your profession you're here i'm sorry are you sure you should answer that look i cleared my whole evening just to spend time with you okay so your profession um you know the things that you're passionate about why don't you why don't you just answer it i'm here with you and putting it up oh okay good [Music] i'm not about to ask no man who's calling him on the first date i'm not doing that if this is the first date i'm not calling him i mean i'm not asking who's that like i think the second quest the second thing was like are you sure you shouldn't get that that's more my personality because if somebody's calling you it's important i don't know if it's your job i mean i would want you to be attentive but it could be your mother it could be an emergency i don't i don't know but i'm never gonna be like who's that that's just me i would say if it now if it's like continuous and you keep looking it now it would be irritating i'm not gonna lie i'm like okay um if you need to be on the phone if you need to like take care of something go do it you know i'm go do what you have to do like you know i'm not i'm i guess i i'm not that insecure to be like uh-oh who's that on the phone huh i mean i mean it's the first date right that shows insecurity asking on the first date you think that's a sign of insecurity on the first date i'm not i i personally i i'm if somebody calls me right and let's say it's an emergency um i'm gonna pick it up now i think it's rude however to keep answering or keeping it on the table so if you said hey i am no i this is about you this is about you you know it's all about you then put your phone away so i do think if it wasn't that serious put your phone away brother yeah um but i'm not asking you who it is like that's not that's to me on a first date that's to me a bit forward personally and for you to ask just like you know who who's that that's this that's me however if somebody's calling me and it's important and i'm on a date and i said i'm hearing my purse like i'm gonna leave my phone in my purse and i hear it buzzing i'm excuse me yeah oh wow this person called me three or four times maybe it's maybe it's urgent you know what i'm saying you don't know what could be let me excuse me i don't mean to be rude let me let me take this phone call i'm so sorry i i don't think there's anything wrong with that and i don't think that you've got to be questioning somebody on the first time you know but i do think it's rude don't put your phone on the table like if you're not going to answer it and you're going to keep dismissing it don't keep looking at it put it away so that's it i think it could be i mean that's my take i mean she could just be really aggressive um she could be insecure she didn't have to be but she could be aggressive she could be forward she couldn't eat healing um got cheated on before uh that possibly caused that that's me though right me that yeah so i i'm interested to see you know you've got you know everybody's comment on that particular situation as far as a man in that particular scenario the bible lets us know husbands study your wives right i believe that studying starts in the dating phase and you never stop studying i am a student of tanisha like i never stop studying so therefore our so like our cell phones and our social media can be so parasitic to relationships they really can i mean even even when we were talking we didn't put on facebook now with tanisha yeah in a relationship we never did that to people we popped up married but we weren't the ones engaged up engaged we popped up engaged but for us we were you know uh getting counsel and pre-marital counseling and meeting with pastors so we were trying to get wisdom you know um but i think that just social media and cell phones especially now in 2021 are some of the most undiscussed parasitic influences third-party influences to the possible construction of relationships so i said all that to say when i'm there my phone is out of sight somebody's great we agree on that yeah he should have like everybody who's important it's just me everybody important in my life knew i was there you know so my my brothers that hold me accountable they know i'm going out so they ain't gonna call me all right my mom my dad i have a relationship with my parents everybody doesn't so i understand that but i have a relationship with my parents to where i could let them know hey there's this young lady i've met i'm gonna be out so if anybody calls me it's obviously a wrong number or an emergency period right but i'ma have my phone put up because i don't want anything to become cancerous to the evening right and i think that that cell phone for many people we saw on youtube that's a red flag that's a red flag he hiding something i mean i'm sorry he could be he could be but he could not now like i said i think he should not have had the phone on the table i think that was rude he should have put that away i don't but i'm not about to ask you who it is that's just me like i'm not because i don't want like imagine that the tables were turned right and he's like who who who who they're calling see now he would have been seen as chauvinism right trolling who that who that right like i'm from new orleans like who that and i and i'm like the 80s excuse me you know what i'm saying now i should not add to be courteous to be engaged in conversation i shouldn't have my phone on the table and constantly looking at it if i want to be if i want to learn who about you but however even if he was i'm still not gonna be like well who is that yeah that's just i'm just gonna be like okay whoever it is yeah that's clearly more important and maybe that is a red flag but me i'm not about to ask and i'm not like i said the insecure thing i'm not i'm like listen i i you here to talk to me so if you don't find me uh worthy enough to put this away hey bruh answer your phone call this can be the first and the last yeah that's kind of that's of that's changing no game like that could be the first like if you keep answering your phone and you haven't given me the courtesy to put it away if it's not an emergency yeah right like i said it's another thing if it's an emergency right by all means answer your phone right but if you just like no i'm talking to you right now okay yeah so tell me about yourself okay all right bro like i'm still not gonna ask i'm that's why i was like do you need to get that that's what i would say do you sure you don't need to get that step because you keep looking at your phone bro like i don't wanna i don't if you have to answer something go right ahead let me ask this so he put the phone up uh-huh we didn't do this with the scenario but let's say he puts the phone up right the rest of the evening because she did in the scenario he was like i'm sorry i'm gonna put it away and she was like okay great thanks the rest of the evening after he puts it up goes well when you leave and go back home do you view the genesis of that conversation as red flags it's an oh it's noted it's definitely noted how women are yeah it's noted it's noted because i'm like okay he did it like like i did it it's noted let's talk me i'm no it's all about but she probably pity next time you don't have your phone on you please don't have your phone what's your phone it's all about you right now but excuse me let me look at my phone again like all right bro like listen answer the phone if you need to uh but i mean it's noted it's definitely noted but i mean if i see if i see patterns i see patterns continuously i'm like okay let me let me let me give it give it a step back but again i'm still never going to be that forward and be like who is that that's just that but it is what it but he was rude to have it on the table for sure yeah i just think um you know in conclusion of that whenever you are introducing yourself or getting to know somebody be focused be focused be there be present so that you can see endorsement or flag right and i think sometimes our social media our cell phones are blindfolding us two red flags or two god's hands saying this is him because we're so distracted by other things that's a word isn't it don't be so distracted when you miss god's hand or miss god's flag that's third scenario this particular scenario now this is not the same situation it's the same actor of mia but it's not mia in this particular scenario it's not her continue on continuing the conversation and now she's finally meeting this guy so this is a totally different scene this is him this is a guy coming to pick her up um and this is funny this is interesting let's check it out [Music] hey hey what's up ready to go yeah i'm ready but let me get your keys it's been raining i'm gonna pull the car up i don't want your hair nothing like that to get wet that's sweet thanks lord have mercy i am flabbergasted she got an open bag of chips clothes backpacks bottles empty cups shoes extra set of keys the chip's stale you ready i'm ready okay let's go what's wrong your car what's wrong with my car [Music] this the part this is the part that tripped me out right here and the chips there and the chips stamp bro why are you eating chips i mean you just opened up backseat like listen her car dirty you got a whole bunch of stuff back but you know i'm gonna go ahead and try this strip though i mean her car built it she got bottles she got cups she got keys oh man but i'm gonna try this trip though they kind of that's funny that's funny you know this is this is a this is a funny scenario to me but it's very real i don't think it's right to judge the totality of a person now um that is that is a flaw right of somebody like maybe they are not the tidiest of individuals maybe they're not very organized um and their car may be messy their trunk may be messy i don't think that denotes to a person's character that's just it's a flaw people have strengths and people have weaknesses and i think that may be a weakness on her part i don't think you should judge her based off of that should she have a a neater card absolutely um but that doesn't mean she's a bad person does it turn people off it could or you could be like well this child needs some help with her car like girl i don't think he should judge her as a person i remember going to a marriage conference one time and i didn't like how the guy said it right now i understood where he was coming from but the way he said it was real um it just was real nasty um he was like he was a single man and he we were on a panel and he was like that's one thing he's like i'm about to deal with no nasty woman it's like i get that i get that like you don't want no nasty woman i mean i mean i don't think most people want a nasty person but the way the way he said it was uh it was just really it was really mean and i'm like okay people everybody isn't as organized as other people and i guess um you can't judge a person based off of that some people may just be need they need help they need help tidying should she have a clean car yes should she ever clean her house yes you know i don't think you can judge a person's character i just think they need to work on some things it doesn't mean they're a bad person doesn't mean that they're a bad woman doesn't mean they're bad man they just may need some help in some areas because a lot of women uh judge men right like what what think about this right because men typically right uh the women are like the ones that clean the house like that's all uh traditional gender roles like keep things clean and tidy right and you know you you'll have those men that are very uh particular and very orderly you know and their their car and their house everything is is is is neat but a lot of men aren't so imagine if a man or if if the roles were reversed like uh he's a horrible man he's gonna be a horrible provider because his car's a mess like like you need you need some help bro like you never need to get this together and you just can't judge a person now here's the thing if that's a thing for you like that's something like a deal breaker hey that's if you're like i can't be with nobody that has a car looking like that i who is to say i can't judge you on that that's what that's that that's a deal breaker for you cool i don't think it judges a person's character their in their n-word parts their heart their ability to be kind and loving and a good person because they have a messy car they just need to they need to shape some things up in their lives personally but you know um and i agree but sometimes the mess is an indication of a greater issue yeah absolutely i heard that as well even people in the comments were like i've seen it i saw that you look if you're looking inside a house was dirty so it's like y'all were critiquing the mess out of you know this scenario um so i agree i mean she could have a busy day and all of that um but you know from from counseling a lot of times um natural clutter is a manifestation of mental clutter not all the time i understand you can be busy it's a pandemic you have children you have two dogs whatever it may be you can get behind that is totally natural yeah but a consistent pattern of filth yeah a consistent cadence of unorganization shows uh sometimes how the mind is you know and just be real yeah i mean you may not like this but it's true for most brothers that's a huge turnoff like i was asking like as we were filming this i was asking my brother like what would be your first thought you know getting in getting in the car um and then somebody said why are you giving the keys and getting in her car seeing that what is your first thought the first thought an average man you know or even a kingdom man would begin to think is she might be a messy woman men don't like that yeah that is there's a whole lot of messiness there's a whole lot there's a lot of missions there's a lot of messy men that aren't bad guys i'm not condoning her it's more forgivable i think women will be more forgivable will forgive a man more if his car was dirty versus if a man were to see her car dirty i don't think that that's fair like the whole traditional like thing like okay it's okay for you to have a whole mess you can be really messy and unorganized and then that's all i mean i think both of us should have a level of organization um whereas i do agree with you it can be a reflection and i'm not saying that it's not a reflection of maybe you have some clutter going on but that doesn't indicate that they're a bad person doesn't mean that they'll be a bad spouse doesn't mean that they'll be a bad mother doesn't mean that they have a horrible attitude no no they're like okay clearly this person has a flaw because that's just something that you can see what about all the stuff that you can't see there you go that's true right that's something that you can visibly see right this person could have a she could have a pristine car a perfectly a a perfect a model home but be jacked up in her soul be a psychopath psychopath right so i'm i'm saying right so i'm like i'm not saying i'm not convinced everybody think it being ordered right baby crazy crazy listen so i'm not condoning her having a messy car i'm saying yes girl clean up your car have an orderly house nobody man or woman you you uh his mother uses a very very good phrase organization is god's plan to simplify our lives right that's something say that again organization is god's way or god's plan to simplify our life when you're organized your your life is easier right it makes you when you know when you got stuff everywhere you know stuff you running late because you're trying to find your keys you're trying to find this shoe or you're trying to i've been there you know i'm saying a busy woman a busy mother a busy wife a busy person you know you're just like oh my god i need to i need to declutter because when things are clean and then when everything is organized you can think better so i do agree like yes this she needed to clean her car that doesn't mean she's a bad person that doesn't mean like run run run away fast yeah you know that just like okay maybe she did have a hard week like girl you you need to get your car clean yeah you know i i don't it's don't be too quick to judge because she could be a wonderful person but just could have a really bad habit and then she could have like i said a pristine house a pristine car and can be crazy yeah that's just that's that's not two cents and i do think there's possibly somebody watching this that god has been telling you to clean your house right i do um just from personal experience uh if you really strive to keep order it does help with mental orders absolutely it really does i agree it really does when you're more strategic this was a way when i was really detoxing my life of pornography and just a jacked up perverted mind that i allowed myself to get via the music and the tv shows and the friends that i had during the time frame of college i noticed like man my room would be clean on monday but by the time friday got here it was dirty yeah yeah so now i'm cleaning all this stuff up on friday yeah and i don't know if you know sometimes some people enjoy cleaning but for me i get a little frustrated as i'm cleaning um but i really felt as though god was speaking to me and i was like man just imagine the first time when you do something outside of rebellion if you strive to get your life in order then like like don't i already did it let me go ahead and just indulge as soon as you come home from you know your first class put your backpack in the closet right as soon as you take your shoes off put them up yeah and i want that to bleed over into your spiritual evolution right when you mess up come to me quick yeah clean that up fast the blood already covered it but come to me acknowledge like hey lord i missed it today a brother hey i missed it today i need you to hold me accountable don't allow the days to go by because just how you're just how your room was clean on monday and then on friday was a mess that's how your life will get if you continue to allow things to accumulate in your soul right right so very very very good it can be tidy and perfectly clean and she could be crazy yeah or just just or just emotionally just messed up you know just in her soul is damaged or just you know so we shouldn't be quick to judge people um and give people a chance you know you you can have flags it could be noted it could be a note for him he could be like okay her car's a mess yeah i'm not saying he shouldn't note it i'm just saying he's sharing these notes i mean we listen that we do with people with our interactions noted with our interactions with one another we have we notes i'm sure there was things that when we were getting to know each other that you know the things right there was things i can't remember anything i noted really terrible i can't the only time i remember something is when an ex-boyfriend was reaching out to you i didn't know that i was saying that my girlfriend reached out to you too i know but um see why she had to do that see him saying see y'all scratch up stretch your hands right now see y'all had a chance both of the but here's the thing i think we were at the point where we were very we were getting very serious though but i wasn't my whole point before she throwed mine back up my whole point was i wasn't noting like you know an ex come back i just told you to handle it and i said handle it and you know if you don't i was gonna move around but i didn't feel any type of way and the same thing that happened with me when i let you know that ex-girlfriend called me he told me to handle it so when she called did you no when she called we were serious at that point when she called i was just like you better get it together because she she's trying to come back she's trying to be she gonna watch i mean when she called i think you were like i don't know why she's calling us like i know why she's calling i ate that's something i know why she's calling she's trying to get back with you that's why i was like see that go ahead and and handle it take care of it every time you get your mind right don't it seem like they come back like come back as soon as you made your mind right like as soon as you got your mind right you threw away the condoms you deleted some contacts you got a new number here here they come here they come so did you take a note of it um i didn't like i said i said we were we were pretty serious so i knew that she was trying to get back but i'm like nah that's not nice to aces yeah he's my he's mine now but um i don't think it's wrong to like especially at the beginning at the beginning you know you're supposed to be watchful at the beginning you're supposed to watch and like okay this no it could be good notes and bad notes it doesn't have to be all like trying to catch them doing something wrong but you're being watchful if you're being cautious and you're at and it's really another way of being discerning in my opinion yeah like okay let me certainly let me all right don't laugh at me tauren i mean but it's uh see and this is why y'all see good things and bad things like oh wow look what he did that was that was good this whole thing let me know this whole note thing if you're not careful can turn into a record thing jerry no no we we share we raw we said it before and our very same thing no it can turn we've we've shared this before this is good we've shared it before that's not how i'm saying it that there have been times in our marriage as awesome as it is especially in the first few years when she just looked upset and i'm wondering why she's upset why is she you know flustered why did she slam the cabinet she was a little more short with me this had turned into records that's not the same you've talked about no it's not it may not be the same thing but there was a compilation of things that i did that was taking you off once we got married right okay that's not what i'm talking about let's clarify okay when you're married okay and you are keeping a record of of things that they have done to irritate you or things maybe they did you know maybe they had an attitude or maybe it was like a dispute or something and you are building up and not forgiving them in marriage or i mean period that's that's something that you shouldn't do period in relationships with people you shouldn't hold records you should you know forgive that was one thing that i did that i that i that that the holy spirit convicted me of i'm just messing with you no let me clarify the holy spirit convicted me of and then i had to go and apologize and say hey i've been keeping the record of wrong that was after god had already confirmed to me we had already been married and i had all the notes were out of the window because god had confirmed to me that this was the man and the will of god for my life yeah prior to when you are getting to when you are what is it collecting data that's what we talked about you're collecting data from each other explain this to me no no no because you're trying you're trying it you're trying so when you're collecting data and you are watching and being watchful it's funny especially women you should be taking notes is this man is this man a kind person do i can i respect something about him i think was it your uh did you say it can you what do you respect last thursday what do you respect about him right like that should be noted as you are getting to know someone is there something respectful about him is he kind is he giving is he patient you know okay notes that's good notes and bad notes i think it's it's watchful that's not keeping a record of wrong that is collecting data like is this somebody i'm just making sure he's got it we got it all right i'm done i'm done i digress last scenario and we're done [Music] hey baby i got you a present no thanks babe what is it it's an apple watch and before you say anything you can just add everything back just upload it from the cloud okay i thank you for the watch but i thought we went over this about with my clients and this is my job this has all my history all my data on it with my clients and everything i mean i am grateful for it thank you so much i just i didn't want one right now i'm glad you said history it came from your ex all right this has nothing to do with my ex this is strictly just my job my history two years worth of history that can't be transferred but don't give me i'm grateful like i'm happy that you thought of me it's just i don't need it look i understand that it is connected to your job but you are in a new relationship baby you can just re-add it and start over and just start from now i get it that you don't want to lose the history but it's it's a hard note for me you have it's time for a new watch the watch reminds me of your ex yep see that's the thing though it reminds you it don't remind me of nothing i this is just work can you just get over the fact that my ex got this and like just bear in mind that this is my business like was paying the bills and stuff like that this is how i make my money all the history i can't afford to lose it this is my business i can't afford to lose it you can can you afford to lose me [Music] so i want you to get rid of something an ex gave you oh man i want you to get rid of something your ex gave you even though it may be something you use for your business i'm gonna get you a whole brand new watch so that you don't have to have any memories whatsoever attached to this person my next for me i wouldn't i wouldn't care about it i wouldn't care about a watch nothing like no watch i mean somebody gave you an apple watch you're a fitness trainer and you use it to track your stuff but the thing about me is i'm secure in who i am yeah i'm secure in who i am and i'm secure that her heart is with me you know so i think sometimes things like this now there's certain people like yeah you don't keep nothing and depending on what it is that's true but something as my new as a watch uh it doesn't really for for my person i'm so secure that you know that won't really bother me um it would have to be something like a i don't know i don't i never even i don't know but but it depends on certain people certain people they're different i mean you could have um had different experiences with a certain person right um yeah now if it was okay this would probably bother me if he gave let's say he gave you life it was a car this means the transportation i mean his what he gave you is blessing us so i mean the the wealth of the wicked is stored up for the righteous so uh i don't know man i don't know it would have to be like x had to be wicked hey it wasn't me so he was out of position it would have to be like he gave you a jersey or something you know he gave you like sentimental jersey with his name on it and you wearing it to bed then that'll probably bother me you know but we're married when that happens if we're going to bed we're married so it doesn't i mean yeah but if he gave you like a big shirt or whatever let's say he gave you uh some of some of his clothes yeah yeah that would probably like get rid of that yeah but not a watch i don't know i women are different yeah i don't know i don't have anything i don't own anything that i had in any past relationship i mean people some people were put in the comments like you still got them kids from another relationship so i'm kind of like i'm like uh you can't get rid of your children and all seriousness i think it has to do with one's maturity level and and their security within the relationship that's in all honesty i think that if if this person has had a past let's say let's use the exact scenario let's say that this apple watch or what have you um has been used to do some not cool behavior right so if this person has a history of you know being suspect or you know but it's like okay i'm not doing that anymore um you can trust me um i think in order to to provide security for your spouse or your significant other then maybe you feel like okay you're right i i made a mistake and i can understand how you could uh maybe not trust me trust me or not be as trustworthy because of a pattern or something that i've already done to offend you so i think that it's you know that that step should be made yeah um if it's that if if that's the case but if in the scenario of the watch and there's been no ties whatsoever and he legitimately is as honest as like i i have no ties to this woman whatsoever this is a watch that's strictly used for business i mean i'm just like okay you know i don't know i'm just being i'm wondering like okay i'm putting myself in the position right now so right now you have a watch on from an ex i mean if i know that you don't talk to her anymore like i'm you you we i'm kind of like i will say this i would probably try to get you a better watch be like yeah that's what she did so yeah i i i guess i kind of get her as as this is ending and you guys let us know if y'all like this and we'll do this more often um for her security i would take the watch though yeah just for her like yeah for me i would be like this must be something that that's bad really bothering you right to where she went out and bought another one yeah apple watchers think they're not that cheap so for you to go out and buy me another apple watch for me like i think the skill of husbandhood is to hear what's not being said like like study her so much where you know what she is like i know what she's trying to say even if she's not saying it so for me in that situation what she is saying is i feel some type of way because you still possess this watch right and it is an irritant to my insecurity now as a husband my job is to help you grow even more in your security i know people think differently and i'm gonna deal with that in this kingdom vibes only series from a teaching called love like a king god doesn't give you finished products right it gives you work in progress okay so if it was finished you wouldn't need her if he was finished she wouldn't need you i need to help me so that's why she's here you know i need help she needs help that's why we have each other so um i want to help you be secure so i'll take the watch i wouldn't fight over over nothing like that yeah i wouldn't fight like i think he she gave it to him what was funny though in the scenario how she was imitating him because women we do do that i know i do that to him all the time that was funny but i think he you know if he he should have just at that point he's like okay is that serious just take the watch just take the watch however if he is an honest and trustworthy person you need to trust you do need to trust him yeah but you should do some sometimes we make big things or maybe make little small things big you know we uh we magnify those things so i'm just like okay just take the watch just take the watch she it's a gift she's like i know you don't need it but just just take the gift okay and then further secure this woman like hey listen it's you and only you okay you don't you didn't have to do this but it's you and only you and i don't want you worrying about you know anything me stepping out nothing like that don't worry about that i'm you know i'm devoted to you so i think that's security and she needs to work on that also within herself i think yeah yeah so we hope y'all enjoyed this did y'all like this drop in the room let us know if you liked this it's a little different um and then you know we might do it again one day yeah we're gonna do some more scenarios yeah if you guys enjoyed it um so we love you all so much thank you so much for all of your giving all of your love your seeds are making a difference and pray for us as we are prepared to navigate through tropical storm nicholas yeah and um all things being equal and if the lord allows we will see you guys on thursday in person or online as the kingdom vibes only series continues kingdom vibes only kingdom kingdom vibes only love you all so much have a wonderful night

Channel: REDEFINED TV

Views: 15,015

Rating: 4.9748821 out of 5

Keywords: RedefinedTV, redefined tv, Jerry Flowers, pastor flowers, What would you do, relationship talks

Id: F0ZeZgVmcj8

Length: 58min 10sec (3490 seconds)

Published: Sun Sep 12 2021