What Was Your Finest Moment Of Revenge? (r/AskReddit)

what was your finest moment of revenge I ground out laxatives and tainted all my kitchen fridge food with it to figure out which of my seven roommates was eating all my food while I survived off a secret stash in my mini-fridge I found out who did it very very quickly this may seem small but it was the most satisfying thing I have ever done when I was in the seventh grade I sat behind a jerk who hated me and enjoyed being annoying every single goddamn day he would lean back in his chair and hit the front of my desk over and ever again if I was trying to write something he would do it even harder so one day I decided enough was enough and in the middle of a lesson he started again so I waited and right as he was leaning his chair back fast trying to knock my desk hard I pulled it back without my desk behind him his chair tips right over and he hit the ground hard I can still clearly remember him whispering you be beneath the laughter of the whole class and the teacher yelling at him to get up the look on his face was a mixture of shock embarrassment and pure rage as he looked up at me from the floor bastard never flicked with me again a crappy repair shop in Moab UT messed up our car which left us stranded in a nearby national park we called and demanded they tow the vehicle in and while they said they'd come get us they never did when we talked with Park Rangers they were quite familiar with the shop the biggest in town and with a terrible reputation we were on our honeymoon and had more time on our hands than I imagined most travelers do we went to the shop demanded a full refund and when they refused we sat out front on the curb in our camp chairs for two days with homemade protest signs I was overwhelmed with the support we got from locals who honked and waved stopped and chatted with us and shared their own stories of horror the owner called the cops on us but the joke was on him we'd already notified the police we'd be protesting and were well within our rights in doing so in the end the shop owner refunded all our money and left visibly distressed when we told him that even with the refund we weren't sure we were ready to leave town eventually we did but not before filing complaints with the Better Business Bureau and every review site we could find they'd already been booted from the chamber of commerce we ended up becoming friends with an awesome local mechanic and having a great story to tell the justice was served and without a tinge of guilt long story short and kid I was friends with hit me in the balls three times in one night he then called me a wee baby and got in my face he tried to make me flinch by half swinging at me I didn't flinch but instead had blotted him with everything I had crushed his nose blood pouring out of his face I had a tiny cut in the center of my forehead with one line of blood running down my face I looked freakin psychotic but badass also freak you for that David this has to have been in Scotland when I was 12 years old a kid beat me up at a birthday party for reasons unknown four years later the kid is a pitcher and a very good one at that for his school in the playoffs I was playing for the other team after going 0-3 to start the game I hit a walk-off home run off of him to advance to the next round kid actually started crying on the mound I don't think I've ever had a bigger smile than I did in that moment still have the ball in my apartment at college being better than him at something he loves best form of revenge right there during our 100 multiple-choice law exam I wrote all my answers on the original exam page and colored in wrong answers on the scantron sheet the girl who copied me since day one thought she was going to pass this exam worth 30% of our final mark she looks over and copied almost each of my scantron answer then guessed a few handed it in and left for the winter break I erased all my old answers for the correct answers in handed it in and left I got seventy one stroke 100 and barely managed to pass that class I'll find out what she got on Tuesday when I maybe see her with a gun of my locker when I was 11 years old I was bullied by a twelve-year-old boy he would steal things from my lunch every day I got sick of it and decided to do something about it one day I brought a super hot pepper in my lunch and pretended to be really excited about it sure enough the boy comes over snatches it from my hand and pops it in his mouth he practically exploded in pain writhing around the floor unable to handle the heat I calmly looked at him and told him that drinking a nice glass of cold water would help immensely he did so this promptly magnified the pain 100x he never stole food from me again I regret nothing revenge is best served heart beating the crap out of the man who abused and beat my mother for six years seven years later and she still has no idea sir my grandfather was driving and an obviously drunk man threw a rock and shattered his windshield my grandfather talked to him and told him if you give me your real number I'll only have you pay for half of the windshield or we can figure something out the guy turned out to give him a fake number a year later my grandfather picks up a guy from park-and-ride carpooling he happens to be the man that shattered his windshield there driving on the freeway and the guy doesn't recognize him he's being rude and talking on his phone my grandpa asks to see his phone and throws it out the window the guy freaks out and my grandpa goes remember me he then made him get out of the car when I was a kid probably four or five years old I was watching Dumbo with my neighbor but the elephants on parade part was scary as all heck to me back then and I peed my pants my neighbor told everyone in my pre-k class and would not stop calling me the pants Pierre for weeks finally one day I slept over at her house and took a pair of her pants out her closet put them on and peed in them but I woke her up to show her and that's the story of how I became the 2-time pan spear kid logic there was a guy in high school who was a complete boat to me for a couple years I decided to exact revenge via magazine I went to the school library and pulled subscription cards out of every female magazine I could get my hands on and a few strange ones like Psychology Today and Architectural Digest and filled out cards in his name with his address and checked bill me later I overheard him complaining a few months later how he kept getting all these magazines he never ordered and it was getting irritating score I was living in a Middle Eastern country a few years back nice place but because fifty percent of the population in the region is under the age of 20 the roads are simply overrun by teenage and early twenties doubt sure bags the cultures fatalism makes young guys even more reckless and irresponsible than they are already programmed to be by their hormones so after a rare rain shower the highway is flooded up ahead 18 inches deep traffic is backed up for at least a mile and it takes us 15 minutes to get to the flooded patch everyone is beat then I see two cars full of teenage Delta bags passing people on the shoulder on the right from way behind me mother sucker there's just no excuse for that horse crap eventually they get to where I am and they pass me just as we're reaching the 50-yard stretch where the flooding is crossing the road and wouldn't you know it one of them crosses into the far left lane and one stays in the right lane to avoid the deep water in the middle lane and wouldn't you know it their windows are all down I'm in a Toyota Landcruiser nice big 4wd so while they're crawling through a foot of water and their little action boy wanders I decide frigate and gun IT between them through the deep stuff in the middle lane the wave from my front wheels was about six feet high and it had to have put 20 gallons of water through the windows of both cars completely fricking drenched all of them with nasty urban stormwater hoon off of course they chased up after me once they cleared the water screaming and cursing but I just pretended to be on my phone and ignore them eventually they gave up and I hope figured I had just been as impatient and selfish as them and had hosed them by accident the most satisfying revenge of my life driving to drop someone off my radar detector went off saw a cop sitting in a parking lot dropped off my friend and headed back the whole way sim but is tailgating me speed limits forty I'm doing forty five and he's so close I can't see his headlights we come up to a traffic circle and he tries to pass me on the right I sped up and he kept trying we hit about 1890 with him on the shoulder come up to the crest of a hill and I know the cop is right on the other side I hit the brakes and he flew up over the hill had to be doing 90 in a forty Ivan stop to let a cop out of the parking lot most satisfying thing ever signed out of all devices on Netflix that'll show her animal years ago living in an apartment in Johannesburg the block consisted mostly of elderly folk and a few young working couples like me and my wife who generally hit the sack early the place was like a morgue after 10:00 p.m. until a couple of guys move into the place below us party types who would whoop it up till dawn if anyone complained they'd quickly get threatening the owner of the apartment was one of the guys dad so they had no fear of being kicked out one evening around midnight they hooked up with some mates and girls to go clubbing they were outside on the road talking yelling girls screeching bedlam eventually they depart I was furious but being an original 90-pound wimp felt helpless then I remembered the tube of superglue in my desk drawer I went to their flat which had a serious security gate protecting the front door I put the glue nozzle into the gate lock a heavy-duty bolt lock and squeezed the sucker dry couple of hours later lying in bed I hear the party Hardee's arrive back same deal as when they left making a heck of a commotion as they spill out their cars and head the apartment B then silence later I heard they ended up breaking a toilet window and getting in that way the girlfriends of course were having none of it so they buggered off as did the mates the next day they had to get in locksmith who used a blowtorch to cast the lock out of its steel casing this damaged the door behind so both gate and door had to be replaced along with the bathroom window because these boneheads did not have the money for all this the dad who owned the apartment had to cough he was so peel off that he kicked out the run mate from then on it was the quietest flat in the building when I was in fourth grade I was pushed around a lot by a kid who thought he was hot crap I told my parents I told my teacher they told the teacher and the principal no avail so one day on the stairs he kicks the back of my shoe making it pop off and fall I turn and punch him in the stomach he keeled over and rolled felt down about five six stairs to the next landing I didn't even get in trouble and even though he is still in butthole he never dared to touch me again someone at my apartment complex kept stealing our newspaper one Sunday I got up very early brought in the Sunday paper took it out of its colored bag took the Saturday paper that I had filled full of baby powder put it in the sunday paper bag and put it back outside the door no one ever stole my paper again this isn't that great but I worked as the contractor helping IT setup hardware for a branch of hospitals almost everyone was easy to get along with but one of the contractors treated me like I was an idiot because I was the only one there without any formal IT training it was a daily explanation of something very simple that I already understood okay see bubs - you know how to put a USB in right laughs right well okay but just in case you forgot let me show you dude we did not have time for this eggo trip boss I just kept my mouth shut and worked my butt off for the length of the contract a few months later I was rehired by the same IT team they wanted me to go through the previous contractors we had that summer and pick out which ones to help out with our project guess who didn't get her when I used to be a cheerleader we were organizing a trip to Florida from the UK to do some training and to have an awesome holiday I took charge of organizing the flights and asked everyone if they were ok paying me back if I bought all the flights together yeah I know bad idea anyway needless to say one girl changed her mind about going because she was starting a new job and just before we were due to go I got two handwritten note in the post from for her mother we were in our 20s saying that she never agreed to me booking a flight on her behalf and that she wasn't liable to pay me because she had decided not to go I was in a bit of a panic because I didn't have her home address and she just ignored all my calls and emails I wanted to take her to court but to do that you have to have their address in order to serve the papers after spending ages trying to ask around if people knew her address and even trying to get her friends to give it to me without success I stayed up all night figuring out a way to figure out where she lived it literally took me all night but I managed to hack into her hotmail account and then her PayPal account which led me to her home address I could have just taken the money from her account but I did want to do this as by-the-book as possible but she turned up in court accompanied by her mother and they tried to use Facebook photos to prove that I had used her ticket to take someone else in her place I came armed with a printout of the airline terms which clearly stated that the tickets were non-transferable judgment was Swift victory was mine this one comes to mind because I thoroughly enjoyed it I without snow blowing the driveway one day some dude who is a friend of my sister's walks up to me and throws a snowball at me he then gave that look like what are you gonna do about it man and laughed putting his hands up as if to go on dude do you not see this large snow moving device I am pushing around only took several seconds to completely coat him in snow and the look of defeat on his face was glorious there was the kid in junior high that was always in my crap not a bully but just two parts don't head in one part be constantly trolling me following me around talking crap I tried turning the other cheek being nice and like that but it just was not working fast forward to high school we are both on the wrestling team I'm like one weight class above him so we have lots and lots of close contact and he was still being a dong a double leg takedown scooped that crap head up in the air and dented the mat with him coach got peed and made me do extra cardio after practice felt really freaking good I'm a professor many years ago I had a small cluster of students in one course that I strongly suspected were cheatin scattered evidence suggested that they had knowledge of my test content ahead of time I don't let my students keep their test copies and I rewrite my tests every semester so this was puzzling I determined that the most likely where they were cheating was during the photocopying process so I set out to test that possibility first when the next test in the course was getting close I left the previous semesters version of the test and the photocopy room as bait I then rewrote the new version of the test keeping page one the same to avoid raising suspicions on test day but otherwise completely revising the questions I made the new copies on another departments copier the morning of the test sure enough when I graded the test I found that my cheaters all had perfect scores on the page one questions but then bombed all subsequent questions to varying degrees they all went from a s on the first two tests to D s and FS of the test in question those patterns alone probably wouldn't be enough evidence for an airtight academic integrity charge but one of them gave up the whole group and the plan when I called her in to confront her with the test copies turns out they had access to my department's copy room from a former student worker and would routinely pop in and steal exams and that to be copied pile after hours in the end it caused a big disciplinary fuss and the administration with F grades multiple suspensions and one expulsion which is a true rarity given how gun-shy universities are about kicking our students the cheaters were hoisted by their own petard and I got what passes for professor Lee street cred among my peers for catching a well organized group that many others had missed my first real boyfriend we kissed instead of just holding hands kissed another girl and dumped me for her when I was a freshman in high school she had actively pursued him although she knew he had a girlfriend so I blamed her rather than him I know I know fast forward four years I was a volleyball player throughout college in the offseason I played in a city women's league and a co-ed league as an outside hitter my team played a new team with a familiar face she didn't recognize me different high schools but I immediately recognized her my team set her kept giving me amazing sets and I kept slamming the ball over the net just waiting for my shot finally she was in the back row and my setter set me up I hit the ball and the boyfriend stealer stepped into the hit it bounced off her foot and went straight up into her face and broke her nose that's talent right there telling a group of baseball bullies that were picking on my younger brother that snape kills dumbledore in half-blood prince after realizing they had all just started it monster you have been visited by money bird upvote in five thousand eight hundred and sixty one seconds and you will get rich if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people [Music]

Channel: Updoot Everything

Views: 182,880

Rating: 4.925941 out of 5

Keywords: #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh, reddit revenge, reddit best, top posts of reddit, funny reddit, finest moment

Id: sG3q4tdWF2U

Length: 18min 32sec (1112 seconds)

Published: Fri Nov 08 2019