What Was Your "Crap, My Parents Are Gonna Kill Me!" Moment?

as a kid what was your worst crap my parents are going to kill me moment i was cooking in our microwave in my defense it was an old microwave and it suddenly started making weird crackling noises i looked in and the interior roof has a small fire right in the middle so i did the only thing an eight-year-old would do i yelled fire and sprinted out of the house and left my mum who had to run out of the shower to put it out i still do this when people ask me to make commitments i made a slingshot out of a piece of wood and some elastic thought i should test it out by shooting the back window of my parents van slingshot worked we were absolutely certain that there was no way to break a window on a car in the used car lot across the street with a stupid little spring-loaded bb gun we were wrong it was spectacular we ended up being wrong about five more times i tripped my little sister and she broke her arm amazing she told everyone that she tripped over a stick and she kept up the life of 15 years until we were both out of college i think you owe her a life debt we were young and took my gf's father's car for a spin into town avoided cops and had a great night rushed it back to the garage in time for the prefect crime he walks in and we are all smug in the knowledge we had got away with something major until he asks why his car is wet when it's been garaged all night i really thought we were in for it but he laughed it off before pulling me aside and advising me if we ever did it again he would have my balls as a hood ornament that's how you do it when i was 15 my parents went on a short trip and left me home alone i invited six people over six around 50 or 60 came there were kids there of all ages and obviously things got pretty messy spilled drinks broken candle holder worth eight hundred dollars the hot tub oh man the hot tub was seriously disgusting the people went in with clothes on i found bottles and cans at the bottom not to mention how many people had likely gotten off in there one friend got so drunk i found her on my water bed yeah that's how cool i was she had taken off the covers and was laying on the plastic naked and rubbing herself all over we covered her up and she soon ran into my bathroom and proceeded to puke everywhere everywhere shower all over the toilet barely in it on the sink and somehow on the freaking mirror i made her clean it up herself here's the worst part of all the holy crap my parents are going to kill me part until now it was all things i could clean up but i found out shortly after calling it a night and telling people to head home that my parents big liquor cabinet in the basement had been completely raided whiskey rum vodka all sorts of big butt bottles were either empty or gone i'm talking a good 35-ish bottles the elder kids that were there grade 12 slash oak guys actually stayed afterwards to help me deal with it we gathered all the empty bottles we could find and filled them with either water or water and the right amount of coke to make the color seem right place the bottles in the cabinet making it seem as full as possible and hoped for the best fricked up part i never got caught i was never asked about all the crappy alcohol in the basement i finally asked my mother when i was about 28 and her eyes widened in shock apparently those bottles they used to give away as gifts to people so they just never knew tl dr had a huge party parents lick a cabinet raided covered it up and got lucky as crap i think this one is my favorite because everyone thinks your parents are stingy i lit a mormon church dumpster on fire when i was eight using a dried-up palm tree branch i ran away but then came back to see if things got worse the fire department and police were there along with the crowd and a family that saw me do it and run away pointed me out to the cops never go back always a mistake in fourth grade i drew some obscene scenes thinking i was the coolest kid in the world i got caught by the teacher so i ran toward the trash and throw the paper the teacher ignored it so i thought it was over later that day i am in the teacher office my dad was there the drawing on the table my life flashes before me not me but when my brother was 17 he backed his truck up into my dad's 1951 pontiac now my dad bought this car when he was a teenager and spent years fixing it up and was always really careful with it my brother was so scared to tell him that he didn't come home for a week how badly damaged was the pontiac made phone calls to online obscene story hotline after finished listening i heard another click on the phone of my mum hanging up she was listening to me listening to online phone scene stories on the other line then at the end of the month a 300 phone bill came i was 11 no cliffhanger right after this my parents gave me my first and also huge adult talk i was really too young for getting into this type of trouble it made the whole rest of the week awkward as punishment i had to apologize give up my pocket money for a year also my asian parents used this to pressure me into studying 4a grades the worst part was just as the awkward phase passed the phone bill came which completely restarted the my parents are going to kill me process again for that kind of money i hope it wasn't the only thing that came but look at the bright side at least you could split the bill with your mom i grew up in canberra australia many dangerous fireworks were still legal back when i was 12 but the ufo firework i had obtained from a classmate was very very illegal why because when you light one of these suckers it zooms around like a wasp on ecstasy my dad had ducked out to grab some milk and my brother and i decided to light one of these bad boys on his third floor balcony it zoomed straight down landing on the highly flammable couch sitting on the second floor unit's balcony crap crap the dang thing whooshed with flames and we called the fieries so my dad comes home to this chaos and looks seriously pee while the fieries give my brother and i a very stern lecture all the while thinking oh frick oh frick dad is going to be so angry we'll have to replace the stupid couch oh frick what if he tells mum grounded for life all we got was another stern lecture and when his neighbors came home they weren't mad at all the couch was out there because it was a piece of crap a very flammable piece of crap i think my dad was actually quite amused and he said that he wouldn't tell mum thank every freak in the entire universe because she was very strict and a tsunami of trouble would quickly engulf us my mum and i were drinking one night six years later and i confessed to our crime with a pounding heart she had removed the pole from her butt by then and she just laughed fire is his aussie slang for firefighters this is exactly what i imagine australian childhoods to be like when i was around six years old the doctors had to have a pin put into one of my fingers to straighten it out during school at lunch i pulled it out because i could i soon realized i was fricked and they had to put another back in when i was awake when i was five years old i jumped off a second floor balcony with an unfurled umbrella hoping to fly like my hero mary poppins but of course i didn't experience flight i broke my ankle on impact and ended the afternoon as a fat child weeping on the ground not my story but my father's he and his brothers decided if they could push over a big butt boulder amazingly with their scrawny kid arms they did only problem was that it was on the top of a hill to their surprise they got their first lesson on physics the boulder kept rolling gaining momentum as it tumbled down the hill to my dad's relief he saw a big fence at the bottom and thought the boulder would just crash into the fence and stop its rocky journey into the innocent neighborhood below to the kid's horror the boulder hit a bump and it flew over the fence my dad said his heart has never fell lower than that moment the boulder crashed over on the other side bounced haphazardly until it careened into someone's kitchen it blew down the entire wall and settled into the middle of the house the boys just stared at the now demolished home looked at each other then walked home they never mentioned it to anyone until after my grandfather died it is now a favorite holiday story to my grandmother's horror when i was about 10 years old it was a couple days before the 4th of july so we had a bunch of fireworks sitting around we had some piccolo peace these horrible fireworks that just screech loudly for 10 seconds and do nothing else and i took it in the backyard now about 10 minutes beforehand my mom had told me not to light off any fire reworks before the fourth so i'm out there playing with my magnifying glass burning leaves and crap and i decide to see if the magnifying glass can light a firework wick but of course i was going to stop it before it actually went off so i see sparks flying and i panic i drop the magnifying glass and run inside where i meet face to face with my mom she takes one look at me and says what did you do so i just stand there for a couple seconds sweating bullets knowing what about to happen then from the backyard you hear the unholy screeching of the fire a work begin to sound you could see the look on her face slowly change from i know you're up to something to your freaking idiot fun fact if you wrap them in tape and crush them up with a hammer they're a really loud firecracker and if you put on of the crushed up ones in an empty soda can and light it it will sound like a gunshot and the police will come when i was about 10 i was playing with a friend who lived down the street his younger brother and my younger sister both wanted to play hide and seek we begrudgingly agreed and said we would be at first we found this bucket of liquid and for some reason thought it was glue it was at this point we decided to spread it all around the safe zone thinking if we couldn't catch them it would stop them so we could tag them it wasn't glue it was some kind of solvent my sister ran through it slipped and landed directly on her head blood and tears everywhere thought she was dead was convinced i was either going to jail or my parents would kill me turned out to be fine didn't even need stitches only grounded for like two weeks your sister literally got grounded on thanksgiving eve when i was about 12 my mom grandmother and i were finishing up the dishes we were unloading the dishwasher and trying putting away dishes my mom and grandmother were sitting and i was standing opposite them i grabbed the cover of a crystal sugar dish it looked like it had about a drop of water in it so to be aware cease i pretended i was going to throw it in my mother's face she gave me a look like don't you dare so i threw the drop of water in her face only it wasn't a drop the entire dish was full of water i soaked her face water dripping off her glasses and down her face to her shirt if looks could kill i would have been dead on the spot i was terrified i figured i was grounded for life but i got a respite my grandmother started hysterically laughing not just giggling guffawing to the point of tears she saved my hide i love my grandmother i got caught shoplifting when i was 13 stealing video games the worst part was that my dad worked for the railroad and was gone so i had to wait over 24 hours for my punishment my punishment was digging all the holes for fence posts around an acre and a half of land from sunrise to sunset it took me most of my summer vacation and i lost touch with a lot of friends because of it dang man that sounds pretty harsh it seems like you learned your lesson faff when i was about seven or eight my mom worked at a dollar store run by my grandpa it was in the next town over from where we lived and so my mom would bring me to work with her to pass the time i would play with random toys from the store these toys included the lighter i managed to snag i'd spend my days burning cardboard boxes out back and putting them out you can imagine my terror when the store itself was lit up by a box i hadn't fully extinguished tl dr my career as a pyro ended in the 90s when i burned down a dollar store it's actually quite fitting to tell this story today because it involves thanksgiving growing up we had this beautiful glass dining table my dad married my mother shortly after joining the air force and they bought it together it survived countless moves and the introduction of three new lives into the family dinners together were very important growing up and this table represented the one place where we came together regardless of daily events or the state of the world to know and enjoy each other playing hockey one day senior year i decided to just go crazy and make some soup i was taking the pot off the stove when the phone rang and i ran to check the callerid while running hot soup splashed on my arm and i had to set the pot down cause that crap hurt immediately upon doing so i heard what sounded like a thunderclap and witnessed the greatest symbol of my family's unity split right from one corner diagonally reaching three quarters of the way to the other corner but the panic was one of those frantic crap crap crap crap frenzies where the adrenaline kicks in long before your brain can catch up once i finally calmed i grabbed the fancy tablecloth and made really formal play settings candles china and everything to cover the crack and i prepared a really nice dinner for five months i kept this up every night i would insist on washing the dishes swap out the tablecloth and refuse any help i was adamant that i really preferred having formal dinners with the tablecloth and pretended to enjoy doing every bit of work by myself i have no idea how i kept it up for so long and it literally came crashing down months later at thanksgiving there was so much food too much food so many guests as well there was father faye family from out of town neighbors and friends from school we made it through most of the meal when john brown a friend of a friend who wasn't formally invited got up to push his chair in it was an awesome holiday but this boy had made us all uncomfortable multiple times with comments flavored with a pinch racism with chauvinistic sprinkles he made some offhand remark about leaving his dishes for the ladies as his chair made contact with the table to be honest i don't remember the moment that the table finally broke but i'll never forget the silence and the wide eyes looking everywhere for answers while we sat with food in our laps no one spoke or moved for a good 30 seconds while i felt the words rise from the lump in my throat what the frick john just going buck wild making that soup when i was about 14 i told my dad to frick off it was pretty much the first time i'd even sworn in front of my parents the rage that came over my dad's face caused me to instantly run away i ran into the garden big mistake with nowhere to go i decided to run down the small alley down the side of my house scooted past the bins thinking i was a smartass as my dad wouldn't be able to get past that feeling was short-lived as i heard dad pushing the bins towards me quickly pinning me to the gate in front of me it was then like a scene out if the walking dead as he was reaching over the bins to grab me let's just say i didn't do it again tl dr told my dad to frick off ended up being pinned between a bin and a gate with my psycho dad trying to kill me idk if this counts for kid but when i was 15 i took my dad's car at 3am to pick up this chick when i got to her house i saw that my car had a flat tire i called them told them what i did and where i was because i didn't really know how to drive and didn't want to drive on a flat they were p i'd say you deserve kudos for actually owning up though in high school i used to run our school's planetarium it wasn't used anymore and i loved astronomy so it became my room i kept my books in there playstation everything when i first began using it it was full of old computers that the school had been leasing but didn't return yet a buddy and i decided to try to get one up and running so we could run astronomy programs off it but they were all crap one afternoon a faculty member brought in the most beautiful computer it was faster than any other one in the school and we knew it would be perfect for our programs we spent that afternoon doing a complete wipe of it and installing a new os and all the programs we wanted a day or two goes by and the faculty member returns she tells us that that particular computer was not supposed to come in here it belonged to blind mentally challenged student and had ten thousand dollars worth of programs formatted particularly for him we told her we'd look for it and send it back at this point we're both thinking our lives are over and i knew for sure my mom was going to kill me we ended up wiping it again saying that it was placed on some magnetic rocks that were in the planetarium and sending it back to them we never heard anything more i graduated never went back everything turned out better than expected the overarching theme i'm getting here is that it really wasn't that big of a deal and they probably fixed it but thanks for giving my conscience some rest guys i crashed their cars both of them a little bit when i was about 12 i was moving my dad's truck so it wouldn't block my basketball hoop i knew how to drive just fine so my parents were okay with me doing that i made a critical error though while backing the truck into a spot behind my mom's suv i didn't realize the tailgate was down as i'm backing i hear a huge crunch in the truck stops i'm freaked i got out to assess the damage and the truck is fine the suv 1998 land cruiser had a very uniform crease along the lift gate i said nothing it was so perfect that nobody ever noticed even when we traded the car in five years later when i was about nine years old my mom went out and left my sister and i at home with our dad he was an extremely heavy sleeper so whenever he was our soul guardian we knew we had our run of the house after about 10 p.m on this particular evening my mom had left her makeup on the bathroom counter this was too tempting for me i gathered my tools and went to work on my sleeping father after a few minutes of carefully applying all of my nine-year-old boy makeup expertise i moved on and forgot about it fast forward apparently dad slept through his alarm the next day and rushed out of the house to work without stopping in the bathroom dad was a truck driver and not much of a fan of practical jokes i can still remember when he got home he opened the front door and just stared at me not moving not speaking it was the one and only time growing up that i was genuinely afraid of my dad i thought crap he's gonna kill me tl dr i put makeup on my sleeping father he woke up late and wore said makeup to work mum asked me to defrost the freezer which also involved scraping the ice off the inside for some reason i thought the screwdriver was the most appropriate tool and ended up poking a hole in it she wasn't very pleased the new one cost 350 pounds i get my screwdrivers for 20 dollars when i was in grade 8 this girl kept sending me love notes as a joke because her boyfriend thought it would be funny for some stupid reason usually i just crumpled them up and threw them away but one day i snapped and sent one back saying go suck on bf's name s balls she saw it laughed and threw it on the ground of course the most hard but teacher finds that note and starts investigating about who wrote it she found out it was me just as school was over so she told me to come see her the next morning that was the worst 16 hours of my life i just knew that she was going to yell until i started bleeding from my ears then call my parents who would kill me right there and there i went to school the next day and turns out she forgot and the girl stopped sending me notes too so everything went better than expected you're one lucky duck mate i threw a friday night party in grade 10 while my parents were away for the weekend i was a pretty obedient kid up to that point so my parents trusted me turned out to be a pretty awesome party with a bunch of good people as expected people became quite intoxicated and things got out of hand one guy fell down the stairs and went headfirst through the drywall and passed out this left a basketball sized hole in the drywall and i started freaking out my friends and i spent all day saturday replacing the drywall and painting over the hole i told my parents five years later over christmas dinner and everyone was in tears so all in all it ended as a pretty good story the fact that you and your high school age friends banded together to repair the wall to the point where your parents couldn't tell the difference is amazing hey my parents were pretty tough on me i never partied drank went out with friends nothing grades were everything to my parents and so was my getting into college when i was a sophomore in high school i thought i was going to get a sea overall in biology and i was freaking out about it for two weeks i was going to bed crying every night because i was afraid of my parents reaction i finally told my mom that i thought my final grade was going to be a c before she could open my report card that we got in the mail she said something like well i guess you can forget about college then turns out i gotta be as a teen i was surprised i got off so easy no yelling or anything before the report card was opened as an adult i am still p off by what she said i keep getting asked so no i am not asian when i was 10 i was pretty small and couldn't get to the bathroom mirror which was above the sink so i had the great idea to stand on the toilet and lean forward so i could see myself in the mirror when i stood on the toilet and leaned forward the toilet seat brackets broke and i fell down on the floor along with the toilet seat i didn't know how to explain it so i just put the seat back on the toilet and left like nothing had happened they soon found out they were quite angry i love how when your kid just putting it back and walking away is somehow the best course of action it makes so much sense out of sight out of mind as a kid i used to take huge shoots clog the toilet panic then proceed to leave it there for someone else to find but dad comes home and i am all i don't know who did that certainly not me when i was in fifth grade i was playing with matches in the bathroom with a friend we lit the toilet paper on fire and it caught the paint on the wall on fire by the time we got it out a nice portion of the wall was burnt i remember looking at it before we ran out and thinking frick ended up getting busted it was bad i think the worst part of the punishment was my dad dragging me to different hospitals to see patients at all the burn units he made me stay longer if they were burnt kids i remember hating him for it but as i look back and realize i have a healthy respect and awareness of all things that burn i realize it was quality parenting in case it isn't clear we were in the bathroom at school if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: Updoot Everything

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Keywords: things you did, childhood memories, childhood, getting in trouble, parenting, parents, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: Nxrzd-nZwmc

Length: 24min 49sec (1489 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 17 2020