What Was Your 1 In A Million Chance Moment? (r/AskReddit)

rajat what was your best I could never do that again if I tried it a million times moment I was taping some tracing wire to a natural gas line we were installing when I pulled the wire tight it snapped against the pipe and I ended up hitting a wasp that was on the pipe perfectly beheading it , beheading I ran out of gas while driving full speed once and managed to coast over a mile and come to a stop right at a gas pump I had a lot on my mind I was going through a divorce and simply didn't think about filling the gas tank I didn't even notice I was out of gas until I felt that the acceleration was no longer working I turned down my music just in time to hear the engine sputter out I quickly popped my car into neutral turned on the hazard lights and began coasting as long as I could by the time I reached the gas station I was going about 4 miles per hour and had just enough momentum to make it up the embankment and to the pump I didn't even break until my gas cap was adjacent to the nozzle freshman year of high school I was talking to a friend walking in the hallway chewing gum gum flew out of my mouth accidentally I panics and kicked my foot hacky sack style and kicked the gum right back into my mouth my friend said it was gross to keep chewing the foot gum but I said it was an act of God God wanted me to have long lasting flavor Denise I was playing kickball in my neighborhood Street with a bunch of friends and a few cute girls around I was always pretty good so people always backed up when I was kicking I got pitched the ball and when I kicked it it soared into the air up the street and straight into my friend's basketball hope it was a good 35 yards away the sound it made was the best swish I've ever heard to this day I have never made that shot again I was sitting in a bar one time next to a pool table they guy knocked the cue ball off knocked the beer out of my hand but I caught the ball all was good the guy bought me another round I was playing many golf and we got to a hole that was in the corner of the course the hole was in l-shape and you had to get the ball in one of two pipes and the pipes were at right-angles following the l-shape the pipes would let the ball out and you would try to get him from where the ball exited the pipe it was impossible to get a hole-in-one because the pipes wouldn't let the ball out near the hole and there was a block between the entrance of the pipes and the exit of the pipes so I go and I end up hitting the ball in the air and it bounces off this tree that was in the corner of the course and it bounced over the pipes and I got a hole-in-one I'm probably the only one to ever get a hole-in-one in that hole I was playing beer pong with some friends at the shore the ball got a dent in it so I thinking I'm Hart crap try the old lighter trick to pop the dent out well as it turns out if you get the lighter to place the ball catches on fire rather quick so instead of dropping the ball or blowing it out I tossed the ball and sank the final Cup with a flaming ball of glory it may not be a one-in-a-million shot but it sure felt like one I was shooting at two litre bottles in New Hampshire with a BB gun with little success I decided I'd gangster things up a bit and turned the gun to the side and fired I hit the bottle at just the right spot so that the BB bounced back and hit me in the forehead also one time my cousin threw a boomerang and it came back and hit him in the forehead we have big forests I was playing baseball when I was around 10 I think I was playing first base and I wasn't paying attention and all of a sudden a ball landed in my glove without me realizing the pitcher threw it in the batter hit a line drive straight to me I will never be able to do that again I was miles away from home I crossed the road behind a bus when a car came down the other side of the road and nearly knocked me over I was okay the car was braking but I hadn't looked where I was walking and just pops out behind the bus so I expected the owner of the car to yell at me I looked up and lo and behold it was my dad driving home from some shop it must have been a million to one odds that it was him as I live in quite a large city PS I learned my lesson about crossing behind buses I flipped a coin in my garage and it got stuck in the rafters I walked away disappointed five days later I was walking to my car and it fell down into the shoe I was wearing I had my phone connected to its charge in court once I was holding it and accidentally dropped it the cord caught on the corner of my end table making the photo an Indiana Jones style vine swing on the court then when it reached the apex of its swing it detached from the court spun in the air and landed upright in the seat of my chair facing me I actually thought it was sentient for a second I'm very glad this will never happen again I was walking into the pool room of a pub to join my friends sitting in the corner as I opened the door time slowed down I noticed in exquisite detail just how the person taking their shot mocked heads up sending the ball flying I saw the perfect parabola of the cue ball in the air tracing the curve of its majestic flight right into my nuts that was beautiful man I was waitressing and one evening when carrying out food I tripped and fell one play just dropped all over the floor smashing into a million pieces of food and China the other plate slid across the floor and came to a stop right next to the foot of the customer who had ordered that meal in middle school my friends and I were joking around I forget what exactly about but for some reason I had said something about hiding a body in a locker and turned to the nearest Locker the kind with the combination lock built-in and playfully tried to open it up as part of the joke I randomly twisted the lock and pulled the handle and the dang thing just opened and inside was a black garbage bag with thing big inside I was completely floored by my dumb luck they thought I planned it I was acting in a play and whipped my head to the right to react to what another character was saying this was something I did every night in rehearsals but for some reason on opening night my glasses shot right off my face they just went flying I have no idea how but I immediately caught them with my already outstretched right hand the audience ate it up they applauded like this was a tricky maneuver I had practiced every night but it was literally something I could never do again two minutes later I whipped my head to the left to react to another character and the glasses went airborne again smacking the actress in the face and falling behind a prop so that they could not be easily recovered I want you to know that because of this I picked up a pair of cheap aviator knock-offs bent the frames to fit loose and have spent the last 15 minutes perfecting this maneuver I believe I was 13 years old at a time so this was approximately 10 years ago I was fishing off the dock of my parents beach house I went to cast and released the fishing line into the air a seagull was flying by her the exact time and the hook got attached the bird I caught a math ephra King seagull with my fishing rod I tried to reel the seagull and to remove the hook from its mouth but the bird was having none of that it was kinda like flying a kite until I decided to cut the fishing line years ago I was ice skating when I saw a group of my school friends they were obviously there for the first time and kind of shuffle sliding out to the center of the rink and a group of four without taking their feet off the ice I was still new at this too and not very good but I skated over to say hello as I came up in front of them I realized I was going too fast and tried to slow down and over balanced I fell forward with my hand out the heel of my hand landed on the ice and I did the perfect circle about eight foot wide around it with my skate opposed to each other before I managed to remove my hand and stand upright again the show-off one of my friends grumbled I was playing dodgeball and you know how there's always that group of girls who just stays at the back and talks cuz they don't want to get hit well on the other team there was this blob of like six girls and I threw a dodgeball and it bounced between two of them only for a third to try and catch it and instead knock it into the air hitting yet another one freaking Quadra kill the first time I ever played 2048 i won I thought that was incredibly easy and didn't play a game for a while since then it has become increasingly popular and I realized that what I had done was actually quite a feat I've since played countless times and am convinced that given a million tries I will never win again I was walking into the men's room whilst chewing gum and realized I didn't want the gum anymore I spat the gum out and kicked it midair into a tiny aspen at least ten meters away made me feel like slashing this is my single greatest achievement in life when I was just a young lad I was eating a meatball when my friend said something funny a chunk of meat ball about the size of a small marble was thrust from my nose like a cannon my friend's dog caught the meaty marble midair and ate it I peaked early sounds more like the dogs achievement than yours sorry when I was in high school I was talking to a friend in the gym after school while chewing gum she turned her head while I was talking and just as she did I accidentally spit my gum directly at her temple I snapped my hand out in front of me caught the gum and put it back in my mouth just as she turned back to me didn't notice at all I silently applauded my sudden onset spidey reflexes and went on with the convo I kicked a volleyball into a trash can about 100 feet away there were witnesses casually dropped two coins on a table when the one coin started spinning on top of the other slowing down to a halt still standing sideways typed read to do it again but it is absolutely impossible 4 a.m. I'm hungry so I go to Dunkin Donuts I grab whatever money I have in the car turns out to be 4 dollars and 63 cents so I go make my usual order completely oblivious that I have no money the register shows my total 4 dollars and 63 freaking cents I just emptied my hand to the dude at the counter he knows what just happened and gives me a nod off approval I Drive away with my doughnuts and raps like amethyst can boss I was carrying two punnets of raspberries to the counter in the supermarket when the top one slid off and fell it rotated 360 degrees and I dropped to my knees and caught it on the top of the remaining Punnett I got a house under contract to buy it at 42 K on the drive back to my office I stopped to let a farmer know that one of his cows was out of the fence by the highway he thanked me and saw my shirt that said I buy houses he asked me if I had any houses for sale I said yes it was the one I had just gotten under contract sold it to him for 60 K I made 15k in about three hours of work two things for me first I was driving on the highway after a very bad winter storm lots of ice my car started doing the wiggle next thing I know I am spinning I screamed out of reflex and saw the guy driving and the car next to me with his shocked face I landed perfectly straight and kept going I'll never forget the dudes face and never forget the pair of pants I lost that day second playing World Series baseball on Sega Genesis I'm thinking 1994-1995 my cousin was kicking my butt he had the bases loaded and was down by 1.0 outs hits a line drive and I made my shortstop dive for it but instead of diving forward he did this dive where his body was facing the wrong direction so he sort of dove backwards towards the ball then proceeded to get a triple play I ended up winning we watched the replay of my triple play for like 30 minutes it was so unbelievable finally my brother we went to a house party and got hammered we were playing quarters the game where you bounce quarters off a table into a shot glass I don't even remember the rules I just remember doing that looking around the table there was a dude with a paper bag on his head and her mother dude with a lampshade on everyone was hammered my brother says if I land this you all have to chug hard liquor if I lose I'll do it and proceeds to fill glasses with hard liquor he puts down two shot glasses and everyone is thinking no way he'll land two he then tilts his head back and puts the quarters over his eyes slams his head forward and lands both quarters in both shot glasses table erupts chairs are thrown backwards and broken eruption of screaming I ended up blacking out thanks to the large amounts of Beefeater I drank that night was playing football soccer in a park with about 6-7 friends when a family walked by and the eldest daughter who must have been at least 20 shouted that if that fricking ball comes near me I will pop it I considered this to be completely rude and uncalled for as we were just playing a nice game in the middle of a park as the family walked away I could see her walking like she was some frigging awesome bee for telling off a group of kids so I thought to myself I'll teach that bee so I took the bull in my hands and kicked it towards her assuming because I'm not at all athletic or skilled at sports that it would go nowhere near her but by some divine intervention it conked her straight on the head from 50 yards away the rest of the family laughed really hard at her so she was too embarrassed to steal the ball and pop it and her dad threw it back to us back when I was new to Street Fighter my friend invited me to a Tony the thing is I didn't know how to play I won by mashing buttons $200 I can never do that again even if I try a lot of times people who are very serious try to counter other strategies with fire own you don't have one it's throws off their game in a game where every combo has the counter someone just flailing around not be predicted I guessed an activation code for a flight simulator 98 game ice sterile no joke kids me and a friend did this for Warcraft or something we had a used key code and changed some of the characters by 1 7 is greater than 8 e F when it worked we thought we had cracked the code for life and tried it on a bunch of other games never worked again one of the first times I played zombies Call of Duty online I made it to level 40 I tried and tried many times later and never made past 30 I don't even want to think about level 40 in zombies once you get to about 22 it's just point forward and hold the trigger until the round ends i swatted a B with my hand and somehow removed it said I am the king of the north as a side note the body kept moving for like another 15 minutes that twitch made me nervous I live next to a golf course so when golf balls fly into our yard I hit them back one day I had two Bulls flying so I took my 7-iron and instead of flying over back to the golf course I smacked it right into a telephone pole then the ball came flying back at me I had to swat it away with my left hand I kinda chuckled and hit the second ball and same exact thing happened not me but I was in a musical a few years ago and one of the characters had to drop some coins all goes well for the first few nights then one night he drops them in one rolls down the stairs and halfway down the theater to the audience whereupon it stops at the feet of a three year old girl who at this point realizes that she is the chosen one and his magic powers and screams loudly and excitedly for quite some time yay I played hockey when I was younger and I was terrible I was a fourth line forward who maybe scored one garbage goalless season I was skating out of my zone and I shot a puck from center ice to go on a line change and I ended up sniping at top right side I didn't even see the puck go in because immediately after I shot it I was skating to the bench to complete the change I was sitting at a park with friends when a group of kids pulled up got out and started throwing water balloons at us somehow absolutely none of them popped I grabbed one that landed beside me as they were speeding off I hurled it at them from about 30 yards away it went directly through their sunroof drenching the interior of the car I was about 5 years old and was on a total kick told my mom I wanted a baby turtle she told me to go find one it was more often go play outside kind of thing to keep me busy walked down through the woods into the creek came back five minutes later with a baby turtle about the size of a half dollar still remember the look of shock on my mom's face when I walked back in the house with it I was probably 13 or so I had my right elbow on my desk in school with a pencil between my fingers and I was half raising my hand a friend of mine was digging around and decided to throw a pen at my pencil holding hand the pen he threw knocked my pencil out of my fingers and stuck between them essentially replacing the pencil with the pen he was probably about 15 feet away or so my mouth five saliva out like water gun once no idea why I thought I was a Pokemon at my ex gfs new loft apartment two stories with the main living area kitchen etc' downstairs and the bedroom upstairs with a half wall I used to throw things off her upstairs wall at her cat socks primarily one day I had a nickel in my pocket and I noticed an open half-full Snapple bottle on the other side of the room downstairs about 15 feet away and ten feet below me I asked if she bet me I couldn't make it in she humored me and said sure what's the bet I said if I missed I'll never throw anything downstairs again and if I made it she had to blow me in swallow she hated it right then and there on the couch also hated doing anything on the couch she accepted I fully expected to miss the buyer lined up did a couple fake pumps and through it two seconds later you heard the perfect clink and kersploosh I ran around the apartment celebrating like I got the game-winning goal in game 7 of the Stanley Cup and she even paid up this is girl Pepe she only appears once in every 50,000 memes like in three seconds for good luck if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people [Music]

Channel: Updoot Everything

Views: 578,988

Rating: 4.9347706 out of 5

Keywords: #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh, reddit revenge, reddit robot, revenge stories, revenge

Id: Kc5G7kUmsLQ

Length: 19min 4sec (1144 seconds)

Published: Fri Nov 08 2019