What's Your Most Messed Up Family Story? (r/AskReddit)

my 80 news sister dropped out of high school and ran away to Canada to be with her 26 year bf she met on Wow what other fricked up family stories do you have ridet dating a girl my mom meets her father has affair with him and got caught divorces on both sides mom marries her dad I'm left dating my sister my 1800 cousin invited a guy over to her house from well from another state that guy brought his whole desktop over to she kept him a secret from her parents by hiding him in her room with door closed and locked while she was away she would bring food up to him when her parents went to sleep happened for a whole month until one day her mom used to heat in unlock her room and found him she called the cops on him and the cops couldn't really do anything because he was invited into the house so not trespassing and they were both over 18 so fricking was okay but the cops did take him away to a nearby hotel though now my cousin's room has no doorknob my old boss moved to the other side of the world to be with a guy she met on wow I only to find he was married with children it didn't work out but relevant to the UPS question my twin answer now dating and living with each other's ex husbands and children so aren't one is now dating living with aunt T's ex-husband and children that she had with him and vice versa they're not raising each other's kids they all know who their mums are they are all teenagers it's just the living situation not two who fricked up just a bit odd till Wow is actually a dating website cousin a teen slept with his brother's 32 wife while he was at work they bailed him out of jail and gate in a place to live while he got back on his feet kicker they have two kids why was he in jail had a great uncle who had a tumor the size of a tennis ball behind his eye well let the doctors take it out because he was afraid they'd take his intelligence had a family kids one day he spray paints a racing stripe around the house spray paints the toilet gold the fridge red wife and kids leave so begins his new life long-haul trucking making ludicrous purchases painting everything he owned brand-new Cadillac for instance painted the whole thing orange I mean wheels windows tires the whole car raised it out little rectangles in the windshield so he could see out of it took out other seats filled it with chicken feathers he had a bread truck he painted pink had two RVs in the trailer mottled Brown octarine and lava crafts color out of space were their respective colors banned from every McDonald's in a 150 mile radius for drunken abusive disorderly conduct indecent exposure etc he seemed to have trouble distinguishing men's and women's shirts one day he put on two woman's wigs at the same time and hung out in the park so he could pick up dykes one day in a public altercation he removed his belt to use it as a weapon after which his pants fell down died of the heart attack SiC transit gloria oh and my grandfather lost his hand in a wood chipper when he was 90 oh and my grandmother is a compulsive hoarder sounds like the beginning of a great screenplay if they get married he can sponsor her as a permanent resident after 1100 ish days as a PR she can apply for citizenship or you could call sick with her address outer as overstaying her visa get her on a removal order and barred from gray entering Canada for the rest of her life as a violator of immigration law my parents allowed my sociopathic drug-addicted brother to beat the crap out of me because it was better for him to be at home than out on the streets he shattered my nose one among many many other injuries and I wasn't allowed to go to the hospital because he was out on bail and if it was reported would go back to jail I slept with a butcher's knife under my bed and kept my bedroom window open for years even in the winter so I would have an escape route in case he tried to kill me again we also had guns in the house and my father wouldn't get rid of him because it was his rights to bear arms I slept in my car a lot and did all my homework in my car in the movie theater parking lot I managed to graduate 13 stroke 275 in my high school class and no one freaking knew what was going on not even my friends I played the game until I graduated with my bachelor's degree which they guiltily paid for and moved to another freaking continent I learned they were more concerned with what other people would think then my actual survival so many stories about family murders I could have easily been one of the statistics I haven't seen them in ten years or spoken to them in about three before I cut them out of my life I gave them the option to man up to what happened as it was the only way I would even contemplate some sort of relationship they accused me of making it all up and that I should take responsibility for my actions and if this family goes down you're coming down with us needless to say they are frickin gone from my life F wiw I'm about to finish my PhD so my adopted brother is a sociopath he started smoking weed when he was seven and by the time he was in high school he was doing C when my mom found out he was he was shipped to boarding school my mom went with him to drop him off they stayed at her friend's loft my mom wakes up to find him molesting her she grabs his hand he freezes the only thing he says is oh crap lies about it later skip three years he's enrolled in the Marines his girlfriend finds out that he cheated on her breaks up with him he flips crap breaks into their house after receiving a restraining order and when our close family goes to him my brother threatens to kill him skip to the next year and he's back with that girlfriend he cheated on cheats on her again they break up again then they are back together Christmas night they go to her parents house uninvited he stays the night downloads and watches P on Father's TV gets caught lies last months get a call from my grandma he and his ex got married they didn't tell anyone the only reason we found out was because we got a call from the state prison saying that he's in jail for domestic abuse his wife later said that she only called the cops because she was angry that he was texting a girl and knew that he wouldn't get arrested over that I skipped a lot of details but yeah it's pretty freaked and that's just my brother your crazy brother married a crazy be the craziest staying in the family one of my uncle's is a cult leader more details please my uncle killed his best friend and got off on a technicality my aunt was apparently cheating on him with his best friend and she thought my uncle was going to find out so she fed him all these lies about how his best friend had violated her and physically shamed their children my uncle went to his house with a gun and shot his best friend in the chest that was only about 10 at a time but I remember hearing my father wailing on the phone to my uncle that's night and my sister and I wondering what was going on they told us the next morning and demanded we never tell anyone I kept it a secret for a long time but since he's gotten out of jail he was in there for five years while the trial was going on and he probably would have gotten out anyway because he's dying I've told a bunch of people my cousin's really got the crappy end of the bargain because they had to hear all of this stuff about their parents marriage that they never should have known row your arms is terrible that is all my father and his two brothers beat the everliving crap out of there sister's husband once no one in our family knows why save the men involved one of his brothers is dead now so the secret was brought to the grave they're very docile reasonable men and such an act is completely out of their nature when that happened on Roseanne it was because Booker hid Jackie I moved in with my film saying his folks a year ago my mum was P and said what kind of parent would let her son's girlfriend move in with them it is sewer immoral literally a week later my brother's underage girlfriend moved into my room WTF your mom just didn't want to see you go my younger sister is banned from Disneyland Paris for life she was caught trying to shoplift some items from a store while visiting France with our high schools French club they wanted to have her arrested and thrown in jail so she had to get the American Embassy involved my parents kept this from the rest of the family I didn't find out until I started working for Disney I feel so normal all of a sudden the weirdest thing that happened in my family was when my sister named her tumor my sister married a guy she had known for a month who was twice as old as her he spends all their money on alcohol and cigarettes even though they have maxed out two or three credit cards he got mad at her for not agreeing to a three-way then cheated on her and gave her an STD he's pretty much an all-around douchebag and my sister isn't on speaking terms with my parents because they keep reminding her of this but for some reason they have been married for six years on the plus side at least he is no longer twice her age anymore sister had her gang danger Friends ransack out house while we were at Six Flags came back to find that my prized eye bands as art or guitar Nintendo DVD player collection television and computer were all gone she was doing em at the time probably still is and this was just one of the events that flicked up my childhood she also offered me speed while I was buying a rock star from a vending machine at a rest stop on a family road trip under the guise of this will really wake you up I didn't talk to her the whole trip back there are times when we eat dinner in the living room I always eat dinner in the living room sometimes I go a step further and eat it in my bedroom Canada immigration is actually very nasty about people like this if you are desperate to get her back you report the details to Canada immigration and they will start and deportation case against her that's what I was thinking report her as an illegal alien and they'll take care of it and deport her being Canadian I don't want her in my country if she hasn't come through the legal channels gtfo be when I was around 12 I was home alone with my older brother 16 and my my little sister 9 now I haven't quite been able to piece together the entire story but here's the stuff I do know my brother got into drugs at a very young age and was doing H by the time he was 15 but of course he was popular as heck with the ladies bad-boy image and whatnot so one night me and my siblings were home my brother had a huge argument with his girlfriend and decided that the best way to relieve some stress would be to light fire to his bed and run off to score some H so I wake up at around 3 a.m. from all the smoke in my room and immediately run to get my sister and get her out of the house drop her off at the neighbors asking them to call the fire department I also realize almost at the exact same time that I hadn't seen my brother so I run back to check if he's in his room which was quite amazed by then and by the time I see he's not there and have gotten out again the fire figures were there so while the firefighters are busy doing their thing two police cars show up along with with my mother who'd gotten a lift with them in one of the cars they wouldn't let her drive because she became hysterical when they told her what was going on and my brother in the other he'd been busted trying to buy H so the police for some reason decides to put my and my sister in the squad car together with my brother no idea why probably to keep tabs on all of us all as easily as possible but my mother was there crying her heart out my brother started crying telling me he was sorry and my sister was crying since she had no idea what else to do so there I am 12 years old comforting my entire family at once my father was working abroad not crying myself because I figured someone had to keep their crap together in a bad situation TL DR brother tortures house with his younger brother and sister-in it younger brother only one to keep his cool dude if no-one said it yet I will you're a real hero thank you for remaining calm and saving your sister you are the man older sister dropped out of high school at 16 and ran off to live with her 22 year old boyfriend who beat her and addicted her to M and H she threw me against a wall broke my arm he came nearly cie eyes close to the bought in me when I was 13 he went to jail four times for theft assault and running away for 10 months while on parole so she sleeps around with any gypsy she can get her labia on and gypsies here are of Romanian descent all dressed like Guido's and they're all in the lumber driveway paving business one of which is a guy who gets her back into H then she starts receiving the money from her father's death because our mom set up an annuity for something like eighty thousand dollars from his insurance to help her out and she blows half of it on a new car drugs and an apartment soiree out of her price range she's moved in and out of our house so many times and because of her I've been in therapy for five years she's 25 now whoa this is creepy I guess I'll summarize this in the most simplistic way I can't think of I've dealt with depression and low self-esteem during my adolescence so keep this in mind but when I was 14 I met a guy eight years my senior one Wow he was from Canada too and I was so lonely at the time I ìletís guy manipulated me into thinking a relationship with him could work that lasted over two years worst two years ever I am still making up for my lack of social development I would basically stay in my room all day play wow this guy would be around almost twenty four strokes seven and work his schedule around what time I went to school he had no degree barely graduated high school and only a part-time job at a grocery store his entire family was weird too during this grooming period my grades suffered horrendously I had lost whatever friends I had I was also a shy kid and if I wasn't crying I was sleeping despite all this I was in denial that he was the major enforcer of my issues I was in love my depression got so bad at one point I threatened to my parents who knew about the C entire time and thought it was a phase that I wanted to drop out or switch schools or something there came a point though where I was just becoming aware of the ridiculousness of the situation and excommunicated myself from him around the same time I was actually starting to interact with real people again I broke it off around the time he was expecting to meet me and he was mostly just angry that I broke it off when he finally could actually freak me he wanted to visit me the summer of when I turned 17 I knew that if I did that there was no turning back and I'd be trapped forever I was already feeling pretty crappy about my quality of life I just turned 18 and I feel like I'm still constantly trying to make up for what I missed during a lot of my formative years luckily I have some great friends and I got on antidepressants and my family is pretty supportive of me even though I screwed up my grades terribly I'm a smart girl but I was lonely and seeking someone to fill in empty gaps in my life and I picked the most ridiculous thing imaginable this hid far too close to home I'd really like to smack some sense into your sister we need to get Chris Hansen on weld to hunt Canadians not so much a story or much in the way of freaked up but my parents think I'm gay because I don't have a girlfriend or much interest in finding one ATM solution tell them you're gay then when you have no boyfriend or interest in getting one they'll think you're straight I have a few cousins on my mom's side we never see or hear from they moved away when we were young and my mom and her brother aren't close so we all kind of forgot about them until several years ago we got invitations to a wedding for the cousin a year older than me all of a sudden my uncle comes home to visit my grandparents unexpectedly he hadn't been home in a few years even for the holidays so we all found it odd he came home to tell my grandparents that my other cousin a year younger than me we all call her Amy had a child no one had known about previously the only reason he told was because amy was going to tell them at the wedding if they didn't know by then surprise here are pictures of your three-year-old great-grandson we didn't tell you about because we were embarrassed and ashamed that Amy got knocked up by a black dude at 15 dropped out of school moved to live with the baby daddy's family while he lived with his new girlfriend and pretty much erased her parents from her life heaven forbid everyone know we aren't the cleavers it was intense up till then we had all believed as we were told amy was in college and doing the standard upper class privilege growing up process my grandparents were happy to have a great grandchild but we never spoke of the surprise we just all kind of shifted into pretending we had known about all along I hope for the kids sake he never finds out this happened my aunt has a master's in mechanical engineering and a six-figure job and she steals baby chicken from the farmers market along with goats ducks and turkeys she's pretty much a crazy cat lady but with farm animals if you want your sister back send me 30,000 gold and a Razer Naga as my 11th grade English teacher said the phrase dysfunctional family is redundant she was punished for it by not being able to talk to him for a whole weekend your parents are spineless agreed when her dad went to Canada with the sister he should have dragged her back by the freakin ears and beat the crap out of the douche boyfriend my dad and my older sister got into a fistfight because he wouldn't fix her car without her paying for it I come home from school one day and she's standing at the entrance to my neighborhood with a black eye the police were at my house when I got home but my dad was in much worse shape she'd bitten him really bad on the arm and broke skin as well as scratches all over him I don't know who to believe but I'm pretty sure my sister started it she's a big girl too five feet ten and probably about 250 pounds so she kicked his butt drug addicts in the family sold all the Christmas presents under his tree he has kids a few days before Christmas also sold most of the furniture in the house his long-term partner and kids were away at work school and he canceled Christmas for another hit also moved in with us to be away from the situation we live an hour away from the town my mum then found instructions on making em and got approached in the street asking if she had any of my family members contact details whilst walking our dog he had clearly been selling drugs when he was looking like he was being helpful and walking the dog that was six years ago now though he's been through rehab married his long-term partner and seems on the straight and narrow not without some serious Devils in the closet mind my stepmother is younger than me I'm 20 my grandmother had always been not quite right on all kinds of antidepressants went to the shrink regularly her entire adult life tried electroshock therapy didn't work basically incurably depressed and psychotic the psychologist she had seen for 40 years retires and she goes to a new doctor he realizes that her previous doctor had her on all these hardcore medications and pulled her off all of them cold turkey two weeks later my grandfather comes out of the bathroom and my grandmother is gone he finds an entry in her diary talking about how she can't take it anymore and he and the family and neighbors and cops start searching for her they found her slippers and glasses on the railing on a bridge she was pretty heavy so I don't see how she could have gotten herself up there to jump off and there was no point of impact in the shallow stream below we never found her that was about eight years ago and I assume that she is dead but most depressing story mental illness is serious and it saddens me to see people misdiagnosed when I was around eight years old my mom started seeing our daycare providers husband he left his wife for my mom he physically shamed my little sister and then beat the crap out of my mom and put her in the hospital a few weeks later my grandmother got together with him and shortly after they moved to Nevada and got married he tried to kill my grandmother and my grandfather took her back into his house yup my life we went from being multimillionaires to bankrupt in less than five years both of my parents are alcoholics all of it was spent on lawyers fees for DUI seven total no jail time strip clubs one receipt I saw was for $35,000 prostitutes and booze oh and one jackass stepdad who praise Jesus constantly beat our asses and spent the child support and more money there was a bank account on H and his sons look at it this way your dad probably helped a lot of struggling college girls out my mom left me twice once when I was three and my sister was three months old then she came back when I first got cancer at age seven years and four months she hung out for two and a half month then bailed again then when my grandmother her mother died my mom tried to get my cousin's sister and I written out of her will while grandma was on her deathbed I still talked with her but I don't trust her with anything my sister has a traumatic brain injury she does okay in some regards but has poor impulse control she is also morbidly obese when she was about 20 she was working as a cashier in a low-rent department store an old guy came through her line a couple of times and sort of chatted her up he was in his late 70s divorced twice and had an arrest record for physical misconduct one day as he made his purchases he proposed to my sister telling her he was impotent so their arrangement would mostly be that she moved in and took care of him she said yes the next day they were married during her lunch break my folks got guardianship and a couple lawyers later the marriage was annulled my stepdad wouldn't let my mom eat sunny-side up eggs because he didn't like looking at them my aunt studied Chemical Engineering and shortly after graduation found a good job in an international corporation that manufactures hygiene products in a couple of years came to have a good position and done very well then she met a man in the church I will only say that it belonged to certain form of Christianity and married him she waited another couple of years and then decided to quit her job and go like Commissioner to a poor rural area in an isolated mountainous region the Indians were Catholic fanatics and kidnapped the missionaries her husband escaped my dad had to go to rescue her the Indians allowed my aunt to use their phone with the promise that they would not return my aunt then returned home to my grandparents only to realize that her husband cheated on her she filed for divorce shortly after the family learned that the father of her ex-husband had been selling stolen cars and had been arrested after all this my aunt's could find a good job and is now a single mother she is a very good mom and happy but certainly things did not go as originally planned sorry for my English I am Mexican living in Mexico I'm the only one in my generation of the family that hasn't been arrested past the age of 13 I have two older stepbrothers who have been to jail for assault drugs a younger sister who was taken in for assaulting of her mother my only cousin for statutory debauchery and my very favorite my older biological brother was arrested for grand theft lawn gnomes they should've cut off all internet access and took away her car the outcome wouldn't have been any worse she probably would not finished high school then gone to college to get away then realize in a few years after getting into a real relationship that she was stupid and her parents did the right thing correct precautions right here being that supportive who was unnecessary cousin 15 had flicked a boy ends up getting pregnant she tells the family she's naming the baby Jeremiah everyone since it's a pretty religious family thinks she's naming the baby after Jeremiah in the Bible I did the mouth found out the date of conception and realized it was on her birthday she actually named the baby after the singer off birth DSX your father should take the 26 years Buckcherry and then go now they're even uncle was framed for physical shaming half-brothers stepdad abused him half-brother is mentally physically disabled no one bothered to tell me my grandfather had cancer until three months before he died I lived at home and we saw my grandparents at least once a month my sister aged 19 had a cheatin doubter bag of her boyfriend she Neely was dumb but first love couldn't shake him etc' etc we figures no big deal she'll grow out of it no just no turns out he stopped taking her birth control didn't tell the guy got pregnant on purpose she left her monthly fertility calendar on the computer and when she told the dad was completely shocked that he didn't want to get married he's pushing for abortion or adoption she says that he's going to go the adoption route our family supports the decision fast forward to when she is about five months pregnant she goes on a church trip none of my family is particularly religious did she found Jesus Mormon Jesus no less in high school comes home all is well we asked how the trip went she says good it was nice to get away for a week three weeks later she goes back in order to visit some friends she made there this sets off some alarm bells with me because she has less than no money but she says the people up there all pitched in ok whatever Mormons are cool right she comes back a week later with a wedding ring the friends she was going to visit was a 40 year old twice divorced father of four and she has known him from the internet for a year or so so he's going to be flying down in a week and they're driving back to you tile of course to live happily ever after in his trailer that was about four years ago they're still married it's going okay my brother decided he was a female in a male's body met some chick online who knows what site who had decided she was a male in a female's body he moved across the country to live with her and her family while they figure out how to transgender this would have been a great modern love story except my brother is in battle who beat my sister and my mother no one has talked to him in years good frickin riddance loser hey mom died while you were away you piece of crap ugh sorry to hear that my brother and his girlfriend aged 17 both took dad's credit card and drove to Florida without telling anyone they lived in Ontario Canada so it was a bit of a drive they called home when they got there so that nobody panicked too late and eventually came home a year or so later they got married had five kids three of those kids have had kids and I can honestly say they are the most together kids I've ever met the girlfriend turned wife is a bit quirky and comes across as a bit of a grump but she's a great mother grandmother don't assume your kids are bad because they occasionally do bad things sometimes it's just the impetuosity of youth my uncle got three different girls pregnant pretty much simultaneously while he was still in high school since their high school only had a about 150 kids in the first place it was apparently quite the scandal too grew up without much contact with our family and got in touch with him again in their 20s my parents never bothered to mention this until I finally asked them why it seemed like new cousins kept popping up I have quite a few anyway and they're all older than me so I don't know many of them 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Channel: Updoot Everything

Views: 67,707

Rating: 4.7973423 out of 5

Keywords: messed up, messed up family, messed up family tree, messed up family secrets, family, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: f-FXd1tYxfY

Length: 29min 34sec (1774 seconds)

Published: Thu May 28 2020