What Is Your "WTF China" Story? (r/AskReddit)

people who have traveled to China what is your WTF China story I visited Shanghai and I stumbled into the marriage market hundreds of elderly parents with flyers with filters and resumes of their unmarried adult children milling about trying to arrange matches it was like seeing the floor of a busy stock exchange waiting to use an ATM standing about five feet behind the person using it like any normal American would another person walks up and stands directly behind the guy using it then another then another then another not to bots no space between them I am now 6th in line for the ATM I lived in China for a few years several years back what's so weird is that things that seemed strange at first became so routine that I actually had to wrack my brain to think of examples the one that has always stuck with me was one of my first bus rides when we went down a slight hill and I felt something warm rush over my feet I learned the hard way that day that many babies toddlers don't wear diapers and just have slits in the crotch of their pants when they have to go be it on the street in a store or on a bus they just crouched down and let it flow worked in Shanghai colleagues told me I had to work through the weekend to make up for the two days off at New Year's I laughed they were serious in Shenzhen I saw a woman taking her duck for a walk on a leash used to travel to China for X per year for several years for business got into taxi to go from bus station and zi gong to hotel right after picking us up the taxi driver stops and lets in a policeman in the front seat they proceeded to discuss how much it would cost to get the drivers friend out of police detention policemen calls his supervisor at the police station to negotiate the bribe amount while getting a finder's fee himself for facilitating the transaction wasn't surprised by the corruption but rather by how open it was since I am ethnically Chinese they probably thought I was a local and can be ignored a black friend of mine said that a little Chinese girl came up and licked him because her friends told her that he was made of chocolate I worked at as an IT manager for a college in Nanjing my boss who was Chinese actually probably still is got his job because he was an excellent table tennis player he knew nothing about computers but acted like he did to save face he also made the same amount per months as me that within a month was driving a new BMW and was wearing a Rolex lot's of kickbacks and corruption there one locals crowded round my SOTA gaze in wonder at his hairy arms when he unded a couple of shirt buttons they went nuts to our hotel rooms were thoroughly searched by someone nothing stolen but things had obviously been rifled through and little attempt to hide it our guide just shrugged went to a temple just outside of Shanghai and I desperately needed to go to the toilets to pee I had been to many places in Asia so I wasn't fazed by the squat toilets but this whole toilet block was something else it was grotty as Frick had a one inch pool of water all across the ground and smelled terrible but there were no cubicles no walls nothing just six or eight squat toilets on the ground I don't recall seeing any toilet paper there were two guys crapping one was reading a newspaper the other was talking to two other guys who were just hanging out directly opposite him smoking cigarettes they were all deep in conversation while one guy was squatting down laying a nasty crap he was farting and I could almost hear the turtles head poking out the only thing which was unusual for them was the white guy who just walked in I was traveling with a group in China right before the Beijing Olympics I'm a sixth tall black dude and according to our tour guide black people are incredibly rare to see in China so on the day that we were going to see the Great Wall I just happened to be wearing a football jersey American football I brought with me but apparently being relatively tall black and wearing sports apparel is enough for some Chinese people to think that you are a professional athlete we get to the Great Wall and start walking it's much steeper than you would think and some parts are pretty difficult to walk when I'm quickly swarmed by tons of Chinese people who want to take a picture with me I'm normally very reserved and quite be introvert but as the crowd around me started to grow I just decided to go with it so I smiled took pictures and signed autographs to my heart's content that is until I was asked to leave because the group around me was getting so large it was blocking the entire span of the wall and people couldn't get past a similar thing happened few weeks later when I was flying into Shanghai and was walking through the airport wearing sunglasses and a backpack and a few people thought I was Kanye West I traveled to China this past May and I was shocked at the amount of little kids who don't wear diapers and that they go to the bathroom right in the street or wherever they happen to be we were in the Forbidden City on a very crowded day and a little girl squatted down and peed right in the middle of a crowd everyone acted like it was normal and then people proceeded to walk through the puddle WTF China anytime you go into a bar in China and there is another white person there you inevitably make eye contact and eventually we'll talk I met an Irish dude who had just comment from a more remote part of China the hotel he stayed at tried to make the Westerners there feel at home for Christmas it was December he knew they had it a bit wrong when the Christmas tree in the lobby had a Star of David on top and next to it was Santa being crucified there are basically no trash cans at one point I saw a woman holding her kid in the air to pee in a trash can AMD my reaction was holy crap a trash can this was right outside of the Forbidden City I lived in China for two years I'm an American white guy my first time in a public restroom in the mainland I was at a urinal and a guy craned his neck to check out my dong looked up and locked eyes with me and gave me a big smile and a thumbs up but sitting on a bench outside a gzd metro stop waiting for a friend a guy asked if he could take a photo with me I said oh sure I guess and once I did so with him an actual line formed to take a photo with me the first time I saw someone sling a maybe over a garbage can with a slit in the seat of its pants baby blows mud into the trash can mom gives it a Health hotted wipe and they just keep moving torrential downpour at the University I taught it for the first time actual use toilet paper is scattered everywhere once the flooding recedes because their storm cilia's and sewage sewers are one and the same went to a small town and stopped in for a haircut at a barber shop because my hair was looking rough barber openly refused me service on the grounds that he doesn't much care for white people there are tons more the time I've spent in China was constantly amazing and eye-opening but also pretty regularly delved into absolute WTF territory I'd move back for sure it rules I stayed with many families of varying economic statuses while I was there I made a comment about how much I enjoyed skiing at home to the wealthiest family I stayed with and they decided to take me skiing the whole place felt like someone tried to describe skiing to them over the phone and they built the place based on that notably the place was set up so that the bunny hill with the magic carpet was on the bottom the easiest run and rope-tow was above it and the real skiing was a lift above that but that meant every single person who wanted to go to higher difficulty slopes had to go through the magic carpet first and the rope tow - I've never seen such a disorder mess especially one that was trying to pass as a line when I finally made it up to the terrain park it was the weirdest one I've ever seen the moguls were roughly the dimensions of snowmen the jumps were miss shapen and one had a toddler playing on top of it while his mother who was wearing high-heeled boots watched from the side it was like they had no idea they're on a ski hill I once had a friend who had traveled to China with her family who told me a story where they were at a cafe one afternoon and were watching the cars on the street nearby there was a driver of a car who rear-ended a guy on a bicycle and knocked him off there was a big calimary around the scene until a crowd of people took ahold of the car driver and the bicycle driver jumped into the car and drove over the foot of the car driver as the crowd held him into place - the bike driver who just drove over the one guy's foot got out of the car thanked the crowd and pushed his bike away the car driver who just got his foot ran over limped back to the car and drove away I traveled to China about a decade ago some time not long before the Olympics and remember a scene standing in line at the Beijing train station I remember people on big microphones telling everyone to remain calm stand in line and be civil I was queueing for a ticket purchase in a ridiculously long line at the ticket booth in front of me a younger woman tried to sidle her way and cut in line in front of an older woman the old woman started getting angry at the cutter they started screaming at each other and out of nowhere the old woman dropped her shopping bags and went into a Malay fury on the line cutter I'll never forget her viciously attacking this lady in a split second when the crowd decided to intervene the young woman came out of the pile torn to shreds and bleeding all over the place the old woman just picked up her bags and got right back in line my wife works in an international language school and they get a lot of Chinese students two stories that stick out first was the teenage girl whose family was absurdly wealthy to the point that this girl had never done a single thing for herself she got kicked out of her host family's house after a few incidents like trying to cook raw chicken in the toaster the worst thing there was a lack of awareness about feminine hygiene she honest-to-god had maids nannies that would insert a feminine product for her so she didn't know how she asked her host mother to do it and refused to just be taught how to do it herself when her underwear got sullied she hand washed them and laid them on a white leather couch to dry leaving diluted period stains on the sofa my favorite part is that this girl with the education level of a 10 year old was under the impression she'd returned to China in two years as a medical doctor the other story I remember was a man in his thirties who had that psychological tic where you compulsively pull your hair out he had the most bizarre baldness pattern because he actually couldn't stop himself from just plucking his own hairs the school being worried about this asked him if he'd been to a doctor he said that he had in China and the doctor in China told him that he pulled because he was feeling guilty about something and that caused his hair to stay just below his scalp if he found out what he was guilty about and confessed his hair would grow back this was not an herbalist or a homeopathy this was an actual medical doctor in a hospital I used to live in China I'm an American so I could write a volume of books on this subject I've seen a group of men beater Down syndrome kid in public for no reason and nobody thought it was strange or even mildly interesting my Chinese friends four-year-old brother used to smoke cigarettes like an 80 year old cat lady I once saw a gathering of people in the street watched some guy beat the pee out of some girl they were like a pack of zombies stoners watching cartoons I definitely loved China more than I hated though so this is probably my favorite story I was traveling during a national holiday once big mistake and decided to take a 16-hour train the trains are always packed but this was just ridiculous we were completely crammed in like a pile of neat bricks being a white guy with long hair and a beard I clearly stuck out even in this crammed sardine can an extremely polite Chinese teenager which is not uncommon at all for foreigners begged me to take his seat it was a 16-hour ride and seats were basically treated like rare pearls I refused until his iron willpower defeated my own as soon as I sat the entire crowd of people in my vicinity turned and looked down at me stead actually for hours they were mesmerized by my alien attributes they talked openly in Chinese about how strange I was probably guessing a creature like me couldn't possibly understand their human language I felt like an exhibit in a zoo all of a sudden out of nowhere a hand reaches out of the crowd holding a banana I was actually famished and realizing the food cart would never make it through that's wrong I thankfully took the fruit as soon as I peeled it and took a bite I heard a wave of murmurs and gasps I looked up from my delicious banana smiling and noticed everyone else was smiling back at me I only caught one word that was repeated several times through several separate conversations I kept hearing who Z who Z means monkey I am a very normal looking female American dirty blonde hair blue eyes five foot five when I was in Beijing people kept walking up behind me and then their friend would take a picture of us at first I was like what the Frick is going on then I finally got someone to tell me that a lot of Beijing tourists are people from the country making a big trip to the city and have never seen a white person in real life so after that when someone would try to sneak up behind me I would just smile and use some sort of sign language to say let's just take the picture together so there are about 20 random Chinese country people with pictures of me like we are best friends at random spots around Beijing not me but my brother he was invited to a wedding out in rural China and due to his white skin became more important than the bride he literally lived the rural life constant photos because people not from main cities literally have never seen white people before my brother spoke only English at the time so communication was merely be charades but there is one story that is my absolute favorite due to being out in rural China if you want a shower you have to go to the public showers at first time he went it was just the guys from the Chinese family he was staying with next time it was essentially every male who lived nearby they were fascinated my brother is usually super shy but he figured he was in the middle of nowhere so he was cool with all these Chinese males checking him out but that's not the best part oh no not yet if anyone has seen that conan video where he and Steven Yeun go to a Korean bathhouse you would be aware of how great these bath houses can be well there was a concrete slab in the middle of the shower which the owners started getting wet and scrubbing but my brother ignored it too busy being side-eyed by asian men if then the owner grunted at him and started pointing at the slab using limited communication to tell him to get on the slab so my brother naked as the day he was born the only white guy for miles usually so shy and self-conscious climbed on and proceeded to be scrubbed by some old Chinese man while a large audience watched in awe went to a mall in waxey and let the top and bottom of all the escalators were these mean faces Obama Jackie Chan various range cartoons and Chinese words my gf informed me that these were signs to watch your step getting on off the escalators as apparently lots of people get sucked in and I wish they died WTF we got enough food to have a filling breakfast for four adults with plenty left over for tenure or one dollar and sixty-seven cents I ate an entire pigeon including its brain I had Cal long brain heart kidney weirdest dish I think was frog stir-fry this wasn't frog legs this was just frogs cut in half and stir-fried with a lot of Zetian seasoning I also had silkworm cocoons just living silkworms in the process of metamorphosis that you find some sesame oil they tasted like pre buttered Lobster honestly to answer the question the sheer variety of meats was my WTF China moment a few things from my trip got all the high fives I'm a six foot tall white guy with super blue eyes don't think they see too many of us ate a fried B Taiwan seriously tasted like chicken though it was chewy and dry I could not see the sky in Beijing due to the smog it was disgusting McDonald's delivery scooter the slide down the Great Wall the best finally as I was getting off the plane in Beijing a man a few rows back asked me if this was my first time here and why I was visiting I told him it was my first time visiting and I was here on vacation he seemed so happy and excited that I was visiting his country made me feel really great about the trip and excited to see it not a WTF moment but it was pleasantly unexpected I lived in China last year and have had a few of those moments for background before I begin I am a 6 feet 6 inches white American with a generally Nordic appearance who speaks Mandarin as an intermediate level at English corner native speakers are a sought-after commodity so I tended to attract a large group who wanted to practice their English with me once there was a young woman who the group and one of the first things she says to me as I like your nose you have a very sexy nose immediately after which she asks do you have a Chinese girlfriend I say that I do not to which she realized do you want one in Chengdu as well as almost any major city in China there are signs in various places listing the core virtues of communism this would be much more effective if toondoo was not home to some of the world's largest shopping malls no one expects foreigners to understand any Mandarin because of this people will often yell we're gathering which means foreigner without expecting you to understand people mostly younger will run up to you and say hello or some other simple phrase in English and often giggle and run away when you respond you will see fairly unusual cuts of meat including we've not limited to duck tongue full chicken head cow intestine and pig brain my friend told me a story about his hometown they are a smaller city that wanted to show some sophistication by introducing pigeons to their city ecosystem a very European Flair so they imported a bunch of pigeons and set them loose unfortunately not a month later the city stopped their initiative and shame because the locals managed to capture and eat all of the pigeons they had try to introduce I've lived in the expat community in China for about 16 years 10 or so years ago one of my mom's Scandinavian friends was talking on the phone in her native language after the person on the other end hung up they heard the Chinese person on the phone saying next time please speak English or Chinese oh no I teased the very scary pancake man comment him not scared to make him go away if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people [Music]

Channel: Internet Is Fun

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Id: gEJotfTqDPY

Length: 19min 38sec (1178 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 20 2019