What Is The Most Disgusting Thing You've Ever Seen?

the most discounting moment of my life just occurred 30 minutes ago what is the most spew worthy moment of your life so far in a soccer game a few years back I slipped backward on mud while making a kick and proceeded to extend my left arm to break my fall I then heard what sounded like a tree branch snap and tried to get up I couldn't because my arm had broken into two pieces like I had an extra joint between my wrist and elbow two people on the sidelines threw up I squirmed and then I laughed the internet summed up in grade school I was eating one of those Campbell's soups in a small config that you can microwave it was New England clam chowder we were eating outside I'm happily nomming away when I find something strange I spit it out and to my horror I realized it was an enormous bird turd my friend saw the bird crap in my food but didn't say anything then they started to laugh the situation was just too much for me so I ended up projectile vomiting all over their lunches justice was freakin served emo it wasn't unless after puking on their food he punched each one of those bastards in the snout my mom once drank a cup of coffee in a cafe in Paris after the last sip was taken a huge toenail was resting at the bottom of the cup it's been about 15 years but it still haunts her I was going down on a drunk girl and she ended up crapping herself while I was down there and I got some in my mouth and I threw up on her crotch my Gorge Rises just typing this leg I was at a house party getting obliterated when this girl starts chatting me up we have mad chemistry and before I know it we are in an upstairs bedroom sucking face and grinding clothes start coming off she had an amazing body lathe and athletic definitely into it we got naked very quickly technically I wasn't going down on her cause she was above me straddling my face so gravity ended up doing most of the work she must have been really drunk because it didn't come out noiselessly it was this ripping burbling noise and time seemed to hang when I heard it I knew immediately what was going to happen Oh Frick did she just and then warm crap rolling down my face there was a lot of it and it splashed all down my front that frickin sound still haunts me the smell was Patricia --scent imagine be a chutes on your face straight from the source once my brain processed what had happened vomit everywhere vomit projectile vomit big hearty heaves once the puking stopped I was out the door screaming I made a naked Dash for the bathroom where I puked some more my pouch under in cleaned out my mouth fairly well then I got in the shower and tried to wash everything out of my hair head hair face hair chest hair boobies my buddy had been coming up the stairs looking for me and witnessed my crap covered naked screaming exit he knocked on the door and was like hey man are you okay so I asked him for a 100 beers then I curled up in fetal position in the shower and nursed a tube of toothpaste my buddy came in with a beer a few minutes later and asked what had happened that some kids were pretty freaked out and that we should probably leave so we left and I was never invited to another Phi Beta Party again you earned your brown wins that night son when I was 16 my folks vacationed in Alaska leaving me and my four brothers to fend for ourselves the four inches sewer line to our septic tank clogged so it fell to me to snake out the clog the pipe had a threaded brass clean-out plug when I put a large pipe wrench on the brass cap and proceeded to crank on it the brass plug broke and a quarter-sized hole opened I was still standing in front of the plug all of the human waste toilet paper and shower water that was in the pipe above short out of the hole drenching one stroke to my face and the right side of my clothes the two brothers who were assisting me almost fell in the puddle laughing so hard when I tried to go and clean up they wouldn't allow it you can't use the shower you're already covered in it so you might as well clean it up I couldn't disagree so I did they did give me a towel to clean the Kratt from my face freak man I would have at least grabbed the garden hose and hose myself off jail shower style but the very least once at my old apartment we had a mouse problem I tried everything to catch them traps cleaning well et Cie etc but they just kept coming finally my landlady ended up putting out poison which I was trying to avoid because I knew it leads to a lot of mice dying in awkward places in the house like small spaces and crannies anyway of course a week later I smell a gross dead mouse smell coming out of my roommates walk-in closet which is by my room I walked in and saw dead little mouse right on the floor so I grabbed a broom and dustpan and went to clean it up I put the dustpan right to the side of the mouse and kind of tapped it lightly with my foot to get the lip of the pan under the little guy as soon as the dustpan bumped the corpse maggots started streaming out of the corpse anus dozens of maggots wriggling and writhing out of the backside of the mouse there were so many that the mouse corpse deflated when they left I was torn between being so overcome by disgust that I wanted to run away and the fact that now there were a couple dozen maggots streaming out of the corpse and wriggling towards my roommates possessions I ended up getting it together enough to sweep them all up with the corpse toss it all into a garbage bag throw it outside and then run back inside and take a shower a la The Crying Game what in the name of Frick our dog had some sort of stomach ailment but was house trained enough to know we wouldn't be psyched if he crap all over our apartment so being the smart dog he was he decided to hide before crapping of course hidden crap still smells like crap so my wife and I spent 10 minutes walking around the apartment trying to find the mess he had hid it well eventually we stumbled on one tiny brown paw print and started to clean that up as I wondered how one little spot could have made the entire apartment smell out of the corner of my eye I glimpsed a massive black oil slick behind our TV stand I knew we were in for a long night in his twisted canine genius he had wedged himself in the small one - three feet area behind the TV stand and dropped - diarrhea slick equal to his body weight like most people I don't do a lot of organization of the rat's nest off cables behind my TV imagine untangling and cleaning every cable for a TV stereo receiver ps3 Wii Xbox etc you know how power cables and speaker cables have a groove down the center those grooves were choked with crap for two hours three rolls of paper towels and two large garbage bags later the area was again safe for habitation TL DR my dog bluie diarrhea oil slick in the least convenient place possible and it took hours to fix I wasn't even mad it was amazing I revisited my Arnold Palmer half and half can to get a sip after letting it sit for no more than three unsupervised minutes and after I set it down I saw something hanging out of the lip it looked like a thin dark toothpick I stared at it for at least 10 seconds praying that it wasn't what I thought it was and somehow convinced myself it was nothing at all then I thought it would be a good idea to go ahead and pull it out it was the King Kong of cockroaches just chilling in my tea like it had nothing better to do I haven't been able to drink out of a consents in my freshman year of college I wanted to see what would happen to a gallon of whole milk if you left it in its jug for a school year in short I taped up an entire gallon and left it in the back of my closet completely untouched during exam week I asked my friends and my Ralph's they wanted to witness the milk miracle of 1999 I took the tape off and threw the bottle as far as I could when it hit the sidewalk the bottle burst under some clear liquid and white chunks spilled onto the ground there was also a small gust of white vapor but I didn't think anything of it it was extremely disappointing until the smell hit the guy next to me jumped as if someone had startled him and as we all began to smell it we ran in the opposite direction no one vomited but the wind shifted and the milk gas blew back towards our dorm and suddenly you could hear around our small building cries such as God Frank what a Frick is that in w-h-o the Frick did that this made me laugh loudly and in a somewhat hysterical fashion I read it aloud to my husband he laughed a lot too every time I even think about it I start laughing again that's it I'm worthless for the next ten minutes I was a forensics students there were some forensics grad students in one of my classes and they regularly worked with the professor on actual cases in one case a man had strangled his girlfriend then put her in a Rubbermaid tub sealed it and left the tub out in the woods six months later he was overcome with guilt turned himself in and led the police to the tub in the meantime all of the soft tissue had turned absolutely to liquid sludge really Brown sludge composed of dead girlfriend meat now forensic anthropologists work mainly with bones only with bones really so they had to search out the bones from this sludge all the bones tiny bones bone fragments you do this by screening it running small quantities of it very slowly through very fine screams and collecting any hard pieces that are caught it's a long time consuming disgusting process often taking days exactly the sort of be work you give to gradual students now one of these grad students had long blonde hair that normally she kept tied back in a bun in the lab while she was screening it a thick lock of hair fell out and dipped deep into the human goo but now being a good scientist she didn't just freak out or something she careful scraped the goop off with her gloves then washed that strand of hair in the lab sink tied it back and kept working she went home that night she showered the smell of human goop fill of the shower she washed her hair it still smelled she washed it again no better she washed her hair for hours at night and still swore she could smell human goop so the next Monday when she came into class her head was shaved TL DR woman gets human goop in her hair can't get the smell out shaves her head I don't know how forensics people do that job I just couldn't for so many reasons respect if I were her I would have immediately cut off that lock of hair no saving that thing and I totally understand why she shaved her head in middle school we were dissecting frogs in class and one of the activities was to put a straw in the frogs mouth and inflate the lungs and one of the girls at the other table had the dead frog fluid back up in the straw and go into her mouth where and she immediately puked all over the place what a revita story I once opened up my infant son's footie pajamas and found he had explosive diarrhea all throughout it took me a good 30 minutes to clean up everything and give him a bath as I laid him back down on the now cleaned changing table to put a new diaper on more diarrhea projected out of his unprotected butt and ran all over table add some of my poop to the mix and I had one heck of a secondary mess to clean up kamar explosive diarrhea throughout at this point you just get in the shower holding them when I was a little kid I had a small jar in my room one day for no reason I brought it outside with me and set it down on my lawn open I come back five minutes later to find a gigantic wasp sitting right in the middle of it with my quick thinking I threw a lid on there now at the time I was into science so I'm thinking this is a perfect opportunity I shake the jar up until the wasp is barely moving and then pour into that jar every possible thing I could get my hands on vinegar salt cleaning products the whole nine yards I then sealed up this container and put it in the back of my shelf never to be thought of again fast forward 10 [ __ ] years I'm moving out of my house as I'm cleaning out the Shelf I find mr. wasp his body is almost perfectly preserved and all of the liquid that had been and there was now just a sticky mess and I frickin opened IT I'd rather be taped to a chair and watch goats for the rest of my life than to smell that snow ever again it hit my nose like Chris Brown with real I am staffer meited so bad that I ruined all of my shirts most of my pants plus underwear and my couch which I had in my room all of my clothes were laid out to be packed since I was moving and the best part is I passed out that's right my parents entered the room five minutes later because they smelled something terrible from downstairs I will never forget that TL DR mummified a wasp in a jar opened it up a long time later and destroyed my room and a piece of my soul I was in a Barnes & Noble and I had to go to the bathroom I walk into the restroom and there's a bodega dation woman at least 80 or 90 years old in there butt naked there's craps made on the mirrors on the walls in all of the toilets every frickin where the woman was trying to wash off her clothes in the crap-filled sink which was pouring crap-filled water onto the crap coated floor I started retching and ran away as fast as I could the woman came out of the restroom and started yelling for Emmy we later learned that she had also left to surprise him several different aisles in the end her excuse was that somebody had made her eat hot peppers TL DR old Asian woman shoots all over bombs in Nobel I'm lucky enough to find her butt naked trying to wash off her crap covered clothes at a party I once took a drink from my whiskey plus coke only to realize that it was in fact my bong hittin hosts spittoon glass I rash every time I remember it I was drunk and accidentally drank for the be a can I was using as an ashtray that had about one stroke for beer in it realization as times like that is horrible my ex-wife used to have a dog that would eat its own crap fresh and hot right out of the oven it was a large dog too which meant a large quantity of crap that by itself would be bad enough but that was only the beginning eating crap apparently gave the dog indigestion who could imagine and the result was that he would occasionally burp ghastly turd scented burps that could easily clear a roomful of sanitation workers and forensic pathologists even this was not enough after a big wad of dog crap had festered in the heck cauldron of his stomach for a few hours he were bath you know how most dogs give you at least a couple seconds warning when they are about to spew maybe they start making hikmah McGuirk noises or walk around looking uncomfortable or something not this dog he would just suddenly with no warning at all projectile vomit an amazing quantity of liquefied fesses mixed with stomach acid human language does not have the capacity to adequately describe the smell well one morning this dog jumped up on the bed to greet my wife had immediately drenched her chest neck and face with hot and sour liqui shits that had been fermenting since the night before understandably she also immediately bath'd all over the blankets sheets and pillows luckily this happened after we were separated and I was no longer living with her so I mainly have happy lousy memories of the event if she described them to me if it had happened to me I would have immediately run out into traffic and tried desperately to be hit by a speeding truck there are some things you never get over and I bet that's one of them I have never laughed so much at a post before gastly turd scented burps that could easily clear a roomful of sanitation workers and forensic pathologists is beautifully descriptive in a horrible way while hot and sour liquid shirts sounds like a dish from the Chinese buffet in heck I used to work at a buffet and one time this little kid probably three or four over eight hot dogs his parents did nothing to control the situation and ending up vomiting hot dogs and nastiness all over himself the table his chair and the floor the parents then watched me as I cleaned up their kids vomit they then let him go get more hot dogs to eat to this day hot dogs make me want to vomit went to busts a table once after a family left noticed immediately they left me quite the [ __ ] pile in their son's highchair I don't know if it was disgusting as much as it was shocking I had kidney stones and it lodged in my urethra and I went to take a pee when I was stoned and I started pee blood totally blew my mind I couldn't decide if I should not be because I was afraid I would pee out all my blood I think that's a totally legitimate worry stoned or otherwise whilst unloading my washing after a cycle I realized that one of my cats had climbed into the washing machine whilst I was collecting clothes those 10 seconds of realization a media grief and nausea were easily the worst of my life so far I was in NYC and ate of some cheap but buffet near Times Square when we went to the Greyhound station afterwards to head home I felt really sick and had the urge to barf really strongly I ran to the bathroom and went to the closest stall it still smelled like crap so someone had to have recently crap in there there wasn't crap in the bowl at the moment but someone was shooting logs into that water only a few minutes before the vomit exploded out of my mouth at about 3000 C it hit the water so hard that it splashed the reasonably [ __ ] and currently vomited water back up into my face and it actually went in my eyes this made me barf harder until I had absolutely nothing left to give I dry heaved every time I thought about it for weeks afterwards it also caused me to chuckle a bit because if I saw someone do that I would laugh my butt off holy Frick I'm laughing it is so hard after high school I was working in the warehouse basement of a store in NYC one day a huge storm caused the sewer outside to back up into my office there was about four inches of water and every bit of nastiness from the street outside on the floor that the other warehouse guy and I were given the task of cleaning up our manager rented a sump pump and after I had set it up I turned it on while leaning over the top of it but having never used one before I had elected to secure the output hose to the top which then broke loose sending a high-pressure gives off crap straight into my open mouth eyes and nose as I spun away from it choking and gagging I must have kicked the pump unplugging it from the wall my friend could barely contain himself was laugh-in so hard but Karma's abhi when he finally pulled himself together he grabbed the plug for the pump and while standing in four inches of sludge plugged it back in nearly electrocuting himself watching him drive violently for those few seconds before the circuit breaker trip took my mind off the evil taste in my mouth my son had a bite on the underside of his forearm when he was around seven it swelled up pretty bad so we took him to the doctor who told us it was mrs a I'm a freakin germaphobe so I freaked and constantly wiped down everything in the house with bleaches was instructed by the doc we also had to constantly drain the bite each day basically popping the large zit likes than growing on my son's arm my son is a pretty tough kid however the thing was extremely painful to him when I tried to drain it I had to squeeze the crap out of it while he whined in pain understandably so his mother my girlfriend left this job to me since it hurt him so much I had the sterile gloves on one evening and we went to work every day prior when I would squeeze it a little bit of pus and clear liquid out he'd scream and cry and we would stop this day a lot of crap started to come out I told him we were gonna squeeze just a little more and all of a sudden his arm exploded this gross nasty Brown crap literally sprayed our entire bathroom and my entire face I had freakin mrs a covering my face I freaked my reaction was so out of character my son ended up laughing at me while I scrubbed the entire bathroom and my body for the next hour his arm got better in a couple of days I googled mrs a nope I am not gay but for a long time I was really curious about what it would feel like to get flicked in the butt and have my prostate stimulated like that so a few years ago when I was on a business trip to Vegas drunk and feeling particularly frisky and adventurous I ordered a fully functional [ __ ] H to my hotel room I took a nice dump and gave myself a couple of enemas beforehand and thought that I was good to go anyway so later that night this rather hot [ __ ] is making love to my boss and I find myself to be rather enjoy poppers really do make it better when all the sudden she thrusts into me balls deep sand it hurts like heck I yell out in pain she quickly pulls out and I crap all over her she proceeds to vomit all over my back at which point I proceed to vomit all over my pillow it was frickin horrible the [ __ ] was very sweet and understanding though and helped me with the cleanup lol sounds like a scene out of South Park also up vote for I am not gay but I used to work in an infant room off at daycare one day I go into the NAP room to get one of the kids up from their crib I put my arm around her back and pick her up when the worst smell ever hits me I start my sentence hey guys do you smell but wait no it couldn't be yes this girl has crap all the way up to her neck it leaked through her diaper because he parents didn't want to move her up a size until they used all the millions of diapers they bought in a smaller size it was frickin everywhere over her crib it dripped on the floor as I carried her across the room people down the hall in the other classrooms were complaining about the smell and I was there changing this crying one year old and trying to shower off in the sink while I'm trying to clean myself up when I think about wanting kids I think of that moment and decide no no not yet the most epic infant poop I ever had to clean was pooped by my eldest daughter she had poop all the way up into her hair and down into her socks soaking them she's 25 now and I remind her about it every chance I get when I was about 10 11 I went to my neighborhood McDonald's fancying a Big Mac it was delicious that wonderful dog food like burger was melting in my mouth and all the creamy goodness of that still mystifying special sauce was going down on my taste buds halfway through this magnificent beast I jump into a huge bull of hair I am not sure what kind of hair but it was disgusting it looked like someone cleaned their drain catch and brought it in the put on my burger I immediately started gagging and made my mom pull over so I could throw up never went there again TL DR went down a big Mack fat hadn't shaved in months I work at medical facility that performs abortions this past Saturday a patient had come in to prep for an abortion and have her lemon arias put in little sticks to dilate the cervix everything went fine and she went home later that evening we received a call about 11:00 p.m. or so saying the patient had begun to miscarriage turns out the husband was an abusive drunk and had gone straight to the hospital we opened today specifically to see this patient the couple arrives and the husband hands me a school bag and says here take this I don't know what to do with it but like an idiot I opened the school bag inside as a 22-week fetus that had been rotting and decomposing in blood and tissue and nastiness but for the first time in this field I was seconds away from uncontrollably vomiting everywhere the smell I can't even begin to explain what it was like suffice to say that right now just thinking about it makes me want to vomit anyway I hand it over to the doctor and he gagged real hard and then you guessed I T vomited all over the floor he said he never smelled anything so horrendous in his life he cleaned it up and took some samples for pathology and then we had some lunch the end , and then we had some lunch you sir have a stomach of Steel this didn't happen to me if I witnessed it firsthand and I puke just from watching over the summer I had a few friends over we were drinking watching some crap on TV and just having fun eventually one of our friends passed out face-up on the pool table my friend I'll call him Bob decided we should mess with him we didn't want to do anything lame so Bob thought someone should fart on his nose and see if he'd wake up he the only one who could fart on demand is Bob so he had the honors he climbed on the pool table pulled his pants down and crouched over my friend's face at the same time his balls were literally touching my friends lips which was hysterical to say the least Bob started grunting as he tried to push out this fart and then it happened he crapped on his face immediately my friend woke up Gared out of his mind there was a slimy half liquid crap all over his face testicles were on his mouth and he was already about to vomit he turned to the side while shoving Bob and his crap covered but under the floor and puked all over him Bob puked we all puked won laughing hysterically besides the one who got crap on the house smelled for a week it took forever to clean up the floor and the stench if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: Updoot Studios

Views: 32,698

Rating: 4.9062886 out of 5

Keywords: #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, pewdiepie, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, /r, r/, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit, sub

Id: ceSXbDR7K1w

Length: 27min 26sec (1646 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 04 2020