The Dark Age of Nintendo (Complete Series) - Scott The Woz

[Music] [Music] [Applause] so tell me where it all began all right hi my name is scott and i'm not an alcoholic my name isn't scott and this isn't an aaa meeting no thank god i always hated those i always found out a place i wish they would make it more accessible to non-alcoholics you're stalling i'm sitting we can do this the easy way or the hard way i'm paying you with a coupon you don't know what it's like to go to therapy hey i got a life outside of this job i go to therapy twice a week you're a therapist where do you go to therapy in the mirror all right fine it all started at my desk hey y'all scott here so is this the first time you introduce yourself like that or is this a reoccurring thing pretty much every week say do you want me to play three of nintendo's worst games of all time to end up wasting thousands of dollars in therapy that was some incredible foresight i played my year ahead of time picture this making bad games it's like making bad water it's almost impossible but some people just can't help themselves almost every video game company has stumbled at some point whether they had to rush a title out for release or just weren't focused enough during development mistakes happen and one bad or misguided game doesn't mean an entire studio is talentless or doomed just because sega made one oopsy doesn't mean they'll make another one anytime soon bad example but regardless of how many stinkers are put out each and every year people will always hold certain developers and publishers in the highest regards these studios can never make a bad game they always push for quality they always care about their products and you will never be disappointed in what they make one of these companies is nintendo a developer and publisher widely believed to put out nothing but quality titles i finally figured out what this statement is listen i love this company nintendo is my favorite game studio of all time i love most of their games their developers their philosophies their style their history they are to me the most interesting player in the video game industry and their level of quality since their inception has yet to be matched it's simply astonishing how time and time again they've been able to create so many experiences that are considered genre defining and consistently at that from the original super mario brothers in 1985 to the legend of zelda breath of the wild in 2017 they've been the studio to look up to but they're sort of a misconception to many that nintendo doesn't make bad games the idea many push that nintendo always puts the most quality possible into each and every game they release they never rush things they never go for quick cash grabs that is hilarious will you be here all week i love this company but i'm more than willing to point out their shortcomings and one year i felt that harder than any other year 2015. this was during the wii u and nintendo 3ds era the anti-renaissance definitely not their strongest in terms of sales and revenue and nintendo's handheld business has always been their most successful and while the 3ds was doing well it wasn't nearly as big of a breakout hit as the nintendo ds or game boy lineup systems and then there was the wii u also known as what yeah that wasn't doing all too hot so nintendo decided [ __ ] it let's give up up until this point investors were talking on the company quite a bit to put their titles on smartphones their idea was angry birds is doing it why not starfy but nintendo was always stern about keeping their games on their devices especially considering mobile gaming was a threat to dedicated handhelds like the 3ds however in march of 2015 the company officially announced that sinning was on the schedule it just made sense to develop mobile games at this time the 3ds was mostly appealing to just core fans and the wii u appealed to just me nintendo's brand wasn't as widely recognizable as it could be in this era so they decided let's make a shitty mario kart game for smartphones in 2019 but did the switch to mobile games mean nintendo was going to put an end to console development god no because they announced development of a future console at the same time the nintendo nx so that meant in 2015 not only were wii u and 3ds styles being developed but mobile and nx games as well nintendo was obviously being stretched a bit thin here the nintendo 1x wasn't going to be released until march of 2017 but they were feverishly working on it in the background to ensure this doesn't happen again but they still had to put out wii u and 3ds games and with some of their titles getting delayed a bit from a 2015 launch they had to scramble they had to whip up games that reused old assets had little content to them or were just ungodly simple so they could have products to sell that year this went on from 2015 to 2016. low quality spin-offs that barely anybody wanted or games that showed promise that ended up completely under-delivering i'd say 2016 had less going on just overall the amount of titles released wasn't that high and the quality wasn't much higher but this problem started the year prior it was weird because 2015 no doubt had some great games developed and or published by nintendo splatoon super mario maker yoshi's woolly world xenoblade chronicles x but we also had devil's third pokemon super mystery dungeon mario party 10 mario vs donkey kong tipping stars animal crossing happy home designer little battler's experience amiibo tab the legend of zelda triforce heroes codename steam all getting anywhere from mix to negative reception from critics and fans alike and triforce heroes and happy home designer were okay in my opinion devil's third had its moments and i always put mario party 10 on the shelf like this i never want to see those three words together ever again these games well not terrible just didn't have the same level of quality as what i came to expect from nintendo they all felt a bit soulless in one way or another like these weren't made because oh we want to do this instead more like oh we need a zelda game this year however there were three games released in 2015 i believe to be nearly irredeemable some of the biggest mistakes nintendo's ever made games i consider to make up the dark age of nintendo big deal that is the best thing a therapist could say to me you shouldn't let the products of a multi-billion dollar children's company affect your mental health you don't understand i have to play most luigi-based products well i think it's a good time to practice anything but sobriety so let's take a look at three nintendo's worst games of all time which weirdly enough all released within two months of each other first one we should tackle is animal crossing amiibo festival the rise of the machines touch an amiibo so a little backstory animal crossing one of the most comfortable gaming experiences in the county it's just life you collect stuff to get money to pay off your loan to buy more stuff it's depressing this is what life is why do i like this truth be told i am far from being one of the bigger animal crossing fans out there it's not that i don't like the series far from it i just haven't played each entry to death like many others have but the games i have played are so relaxing and cozy they're just fun to boot up run a few little errands turn it off and depress for the rest of the day there was a bit of criticism directed towards the series for a while there though see it initially released on the nintendo 64 in japan only that version made its way to the gamecube worldwide with a few extra enhancements but it was still the same game at heart then when wild world came to the ds many noted it was pretty similar to the gamecube one with a few enhancements added city folk released on the wii and it was pretty similar to the ds one with a few enhancements added where were the changes go back these games kept adding onto each other but not enough for some to be all too thrilled but then new leaf for the 3ds came out and it changed up enough to be a breath of fresh air for everybody you're the mayor of your town you could change so much about your village it's the one thing animal crossing needed and they finally did it government intervention new leaf was a tremendous success and all signs were pointing to the next iteration of animal crossing releasing on wii u around 2015. i mean it had to happen right i mean in 2013 nintendo released this app called animal crossing plaza in the system it was all these characters in hd and you could create miiverse posts about them for others around the world to read considering this free app was made so 3ds owners who played new leaf could talk about the game only on wii u a platform that did not have an animal crossing game was only available for a year until it was discontinued and can no longer be accessed i smell pointless it was by all accounts the miiverse plaza that thing that appears when you boot up your wii u showing all these me's and what people are saying about different games it was that but for animal crossing characters like you could say oh [ __ ] i love this guy's pants and then others could respond with why am i on this app i think the main takeaway from this thing was that nintendo produced all these hd quality models of the animal crossing characters i think it was pretty evident that this was a test when it came to developing an hd game in the series however nothing initially came of this new leaf kept selling animal crossing plaza kept not getting used and all was right with the world but then in 2014 nintendo announced and released amiibo figures with nfc chips in their base that allowed you to scan them into supported games via the wii u gamepad and eventually the 3ds to play with the character or unlock extra goodies in launch with super smash brothers for wii u and was a tremendous success mainly because they released amiibo of all characters smash brothers as a crossover of every series under the sun so everybody was interested in the line to some extent this meant in the following year nintendo would lean heavily into satan's plastic more lines of amiibo like super mario splatoon yoshi's woolly world were all put out and did very well but the actual use of these things in games was always non-essential in smash brothers you could scan a figure to fight it raise it and level it up as your own little smash brothers prodigy that was pretty much the furthest they ever went with implementing it mario party 10 you'd use them in amiibo party mode where you scan an amiibo to roll the dice yoshi's woolly world and mario maker you could scan a bunch of different ones to get costumes which was awesome but not all amiibo were supported in every game it was kind of up in the air which amiibo would be supported in which games so i think we were all expecting a game to be released that took full advantage of amiibo a game that couldn't exist without it we should have known better but in the back of everybody's mind we were also thinking another thing new animal crossing game for wii u with animal crossing amiibo support it was so perfect it just had to happen animal crossing was a game so focused on collecting in hundreds of different characters introducing figures that just made a ton of sense well nintendo jumped on this fairly quickly in april of 2015 we got animal crossing amiibo cards announced alongside a spin-off title for 3ds happy home designer this was a sign they were building up to a wii u game i could smell it and happy home designer would interact with it somehow they weren't pulling a fast one on me i eat virginity for breakfast i get these things e3 2015 came around guess what leaked beforehand boom animal crossing amiibo figures it was happening nintendo's e3 2015 digital event kicked off halfway through a happy home designer trailer played then those glorious words world premiere flew up on screen it cuts to a wii u game pad holy [ __ ] and an animal crossing figure gets scanned onto it holy [ __ ] animal crossings on wii u i called it i called it [Music] so you got incredibly depressed over the announcement of a game in a series they aren't even a huge fan of to begin with in the first place that's right who the [ __ ] is this guy on your left you will see no doubt one of the worst in tone deaf video game announcements of all time you can't tell me somebody at nintendo didn't realize what opening a trailer with this shot insinuates nobody goes oh my god an animal crossing board game because that's what it was a party game that used amiibo figures to roll the dice nearly everybody was disappointed and confused but while this wasn't what i wanted in the slightest i had higher hopes than i think some did and the idea of an animal crossing party game wasn't bad that's all it had going for it the idea wasn't bad because my god not only was this game's announcement of disappointment the gameplay shown what is this later on at e3 tidbits about why the game existed were coming out one of them being how the developers just wanted a reason for animal crossing amiibo to exist i can think of worse reasons for the apocalypse another one albeit this was just a nintendo of america employee kind of just talking up the game a bit on the e3 treehouse stream was that they said it was nice to have an animal crescent game that didn't require reading to enjoy most of this game is text suffice to say amiibo festival was not received well it just sort of got announced and then released later that november and nothing really came out about the game until a nintendo direct in november highlighted it a day before it released there was a rumor floating around about the game being a free download and you just need to buy an animal crossing figure to experience it sixty dollars that i spent so this is animal crossing amiibo festival it comes in this box with two amiibo figures and three amiibo cards in this nice little envelope now apparently digby here was only available for a limited time future releases of the bundle wouldn't include him if only the game sold well enough to warrant them doing that amiibo festival bombed stores are still putting it out on clearance to this very day like i said the original plan was to face digby out of the bundle but that never happened because i think stores are still trying to sell the initial batch of the game from 2015. well there are other animal crossing amiibo that launched alongside it as i might as well nab a few to get the full experience i didn't even try and i own nearly all of them all i did was go to five below a gamestop and a quick dabble on ebay and here we are under 60 later i own pretty much all of these except for rover celeste and swimmer these figures also rot in clearance bins nintendo definitely expected them to fly off the shelves like the smash bros line did but they didn't understand that one that line appealed to everybody because it included dozens of different game franchises animal crossing while incredibly popular only appeals to animal crossing fans and two nobody wanted figures that were only useful in a bad game so you can pretty much find all these for dirt sheep i mean i know i did five bones a piece at five below where garbage goes to die i picked up two packs of animal crossing amiibo cards as well these did far better sales wise they got up to four different series released i assume it's because collecting hundreds of animal crossing cards is a lot more fun and addicting than buying one figure so opening these up i got shirt wolf spunk rat unemployed mouse insomnia duck better than me gazelle bright of an aardvark self-conscious dog ye old line hair duck sex frog kyle and mammal alright so now i own multiple animal crossing amiibo cards i have nearly all of the animal crossing amiibo figures and the game is officially in my wii u and then it happened the gout no virginity [Music] all right tap an amiibo on the wii u gamepad let's go with spunk rat it's gonna be one of those games isn't it this is an amiibo why can't i enter all right fine we'll try clearance otter if you ever wanted an otter on clearance by a lady amiibo tapping a figure brings us to the plaza our main option here is the board game well i couldn't possibly play animal crossing amiibo festival by myself what do i look like a [ __ ] loser i at least need to play animal crossing amiibo festival with one other person oh no no i'm not playing it no no i'm telling the story in past tense i am forwarding this message to everybody in my contacts list if you stop by tonight we can play gekks did not take you as a gex fan i'm not i knew you were lying and i'll do anything not gex related even amiibo festival yeah is it gekk's night i've been waiting for this for years [Music] i love gex so we enter the world of gex by tapping our amiibo in and on with the board game now we have 12 boards to choose from all the months throughout the year honestly it's a great idea in terms of transitioning the series into a board game it's all about life and the time of year translating over to the game you can still find positives in hell we get the rules explained to us and this is going to take an hour and a half to finish do we really have enough stamina to last that long i haven't eaten since yesterday two weeks ago yeah and i know gex an hour half is really low balling it okay we'll buy some food all right what do you guys want i only have enough money for one thing we can all share it doesn't matter to me yeah i'm starving i couldn't care less right now all right i i'll take one corn dog you went to sonic not just that i ate there shoulda came sooner so when you have some players to play a real life video game with before you start a game you need to make sure you and your team are nourished this is going to take a whole lot of effort and time and the last thing you want anybody to do during a game of animal crossing amiibo festival is leave to do something else when commitment is your middle name it's time to play scan your amiibo when it's your turn and lift it to roll the dice move the spaces given you want to gain happy points and bells land on spaces they either make you happy or give you money some spaces only do one or the other or both but some spaces take away one or the other or both every space you land on you get a little story play out that explains why you gained happy points and or bells or why you lost them i have never meant anything more in my life than what i'm about to say cute i guess sometimes events happen where characters show up and if you land on a certain space they may give you an item to use these items are all sorts of basic cards that let you move whatever amount of spaces you want they're [ __ ] fun joan appears every now and then and sells you turn up so you buy a bunch and then the market does the talking each space then has a different selling price for your turn up so it's up to you to decide when it's time to sell your stock investment's a core part of the game again great for people who can't read and that's amiibo festival when every player takes a turn moving and the next day starts and you repeat until the month is over your bells are converted to happy points at the end and are added to your overall total and whoever has the most happy points wins now you can set a time limit so the game ends after a certain period rather than lasting an hour and a half but that's not the amiibo festival wait dammit rev up your endurance glance because we're in this for the long haul he's a gecko with sunglasses so yes we constantly have to scan our amiibo to roll the dice each and every time is it strategic is the dice roll slow to compensate for the fact it has to read a chip in the figurine is scanning an amiibo to roll dice fun don't call me on this but no if you want to play with up to 4 players but you only have 1-3 amiibo the remaining players can play as a human villager and all they have to do is hit a come on that's no fair using an amiibo to do this is clunky and annoying primarily because you constantly have to do it other games that support amiibo it's a one and done you scan it and then you set the figure down here you constantly have to and it is graying mainly because i know there is a beautiful little button that can roll the dice for me and then some right there it's even programmed into the game but i have to keep scanning something about it five below but here's what i really don't like after you scan you then have to use the stick and a button to confirm which direction you want to go in when you reach different path options one of my biggest pet peeves in games specifically on the wii u is when they force you to use the controller in a way that makes you reposition your hands when it is completely unnecessary paper mario color splash on the wii u did this its default control scheme had you pick cards to play with the touch screen then force you to quickly shift your hands back to the buttons to time your actions properly i ended up switching to the all button control scheme because sure there are more steps required with this than with the advanced touch controls option but here i don't need to reposition my hands constantly in amiibo festival i have to scan the figure use the buttons sometimes of course use the touchscreen for no damn reason if the developers just had to absolutely force you to scan the amiibo to roll the dice why not have the rest of the controls on the touchscreen and that way you can leave the gamepad on a table without it being sort of kind of awkward to use when picking a direction like why not be able to select the direction to going on the touchscreen that's right you can't because the emotion buttons are on the touchscreen [ __ ] yes the game had some weird consistency issues when it comes to what's exclusively on the gamepad screen and what's not and there's really nothing that ever happens where i think oh man i want to hide what i'm looking at from the other players also we all just use one gamepad pass it around like a corndog it just makes things unnecessarily cumbersome the game itself reeks of mario party i mean happy points are basically stars and bells or coins of course more coins mean more of a chance to get a star in mario party which is what you're really after and it's no different with amiibo festival the difference is most mario parties have a mini game play after each player rolls their dice and move that adds an element of skill you want to do good at the minigames to get more coins to get more stars after everybody rolls an amiibo festival you roll again there's no many games no nothing this game is just constantly rolling the dice and moving around the board sure you have the element of the [ __ ] onions i guess you have to strategize when's the right time to sell them and no even that's total luck you can't strategize landing on a space where you can sell them for a fortune it's all up to the dice roll but scott you may say what you can get special cards that give you the ability to move a specific amount of spaces yeah sure but if you even get the opportunity to get a card like that completely random if you get the number of spaces you'd actually need in the future completely random it's all luck you build up your bills for 45 minutes all for a damn owl to bump into you and take half your money the most strategy you can put into this game is doing a trick when scanning your amiibo now that bad ass i mean if amiibo festival nails anything it's the ambiance of animal crossing every space you land on tells you the story of what happened to your character that day it's all well written i guess but keep in mind there is way too much dialogue for this being a party game i have multiple people in the room katie you don't need to explain your purpose each and every time somebody runs into you presentation wise it's still animal crossing it looks okay but it just kind of feels like they barfed new leaf in hd without all too much care put into it it's fine it does the job but the board's design my god so yes each board is each month in the year but they're barely any different the season changes but that doesn't make any of them feel all too distinct there are events that happen based on the month like holidays or birthdays but i will maintain every board feels the damn same here's a quiz for you which board is june and which board is july they're both august you level up your character after every game and save that data to the amiibo thank god i get something out of this leveling up with your happy points unlocks new costumes you know now this game has purpose and that's the board game but you just wait because we have so much more to this eight mini-games in fact all of which are exclusively playable with amiibo cards you cannot use figures is there any reason why i can't use the amiibo cards in the board game and amiibo figures in the mini games man you really haven't played gex before have you so we basically have to grind in this game for a couple hours to unlock everything we have balloon island where we scan in an amiibo card and lift it up to drop our character at the right time to get the most points i will say this is an instance where scanning the cards makes this a bit more interesting you have to take the delay into account i think it would be way more interesting if different characters add different characteristics to how they drop so there's more of a strategy when picking your card but overall this would be a bit weird without the cards it's weird with the cards acorn chase we have to maneuver this garden picking up all the acorns by scanning one of the three cards you pick to go in different directions before you get mauled it's fine resetting bob so it's whack-a-mole mixed with rock paper scissors finally somebody did it all the amiibo cards have either rock paper or scissors on them so you scan them in and when you see a resetti with rock under it and you are definitely paper scan your card nothing else matters in the world it can get pretty crazy although an easy way to cheese it is if you scan in all characters with the same thing that way it's not nearly as confusing mystery campers we scan in six cards and have to try to guess which four characters are in the tents and which order they're in this one's honestly incredibly simple but kind of fun it really makes you think critically every time you scan in four it tells you how many were correct and if you were close with some of your picks it's pretty satisfying to figure it all out considering all your previous choices speaking of thinking critically the animal crossing quiz show the perfect game to play with people who don't know animal crossing all too well what is this amiibo card battle you pick cards to play and there are definitely outcomes i don't get this one desert island escape this is the most game this game gets it's not that bad you pick three characters and you have to survive on an island long enough and find materials to escape before time runs out you just have to strategize where to move and if certain things are worth risking it's nothing amazing but it's probably the most value you'll get out of amiibo festival and that was amiibo festival gex but we played the entirety of what it had to offer didn't we forget the fruit path game get the [ __ ] out of my house so animal crossing amiibo festival is generally considered the lowest point of the animal crossing franchise it is but i think what stings the most is the fact that it didn't need to be of course best case scenario it would be an actual real-life animal crossing for the wii u but an animal crossing party game had so much potential the core concept here is fantastic taking elements from animal crossing and turning them into a board game having the boards be different months holidays as different events that happen but they didn't do anything interesting with these concepts nd cube made this game and they developed the modern mario party in wii party games and by god i just don't think they know how to balance a game's content or design boards for party games they always try to give as many options as possible to give the illusion of a ton of content with tons of modes or minigames but everything is so bare bones it doesn't matter it would have been better if they found a way to mesh all the content in here together that way it could have been at least a little more interesting amiibo festival by far is the worst game they've ever developed but it's not ungodly terrible it's bad no doubt but some of the extra mini games aren't the worst and the board game can be fun if you want to overact about everything happening however that mode is overly long with nothing of value ever happening the control scheme is completely unnecessary and with each amiibo costing around 13 bucks a pop at launch you were spending well over 100 when this game released to play with multiple characters and access the other minigames the concept's great the execution is abysmal however i can't say it's the worst thing ever there are glimpses of hope in the package here and there so it's not terrible it's just awful well i think overall you're experiencing potion game syndrome it should wear off between the next day or two uh i'm surprised it only took you one game to get this shaking well actually i'm here because it was more so a barrage of bad nintendo games i played uh first it was animal crossing amiibo festival next it was mario tennis ultra smash okay bye you're a therapy machine you're gonna therapize good tonight you're gonna be the best therapist a therapist will ever ask for you're gonna do great so i think you can tackle ultrasound why are you here let's go one at a time you first what the [ __ ] are you doing here in my house okay fair question now it's my turn i was hoping you could bang out some more therapy you are a therapist i'm traumatized it all works out i can't give you therapy right now it's daytime i'm a night therapist don't my credits transfer over listen i didn't become a therapist to hear you vent about amigo festival amiibo festival i'm not registered to give advice about that well then are you a registered therapist at all so tell me about that dumb [ __ ] tennis game that hurt your feelings i don't know i feel like you're only talking to me now so then i don't tell anybody you're not registered to be a therapist i feel like i almost have to pay you to listen to me so it's therapy yeah it's pretty much therapy after animal crossing amiibo festival i decided it was time to move on to smaller and worse things i was at my desk again hey y'all scott here yes what oh before every therapy session i make predictions i nailed that one i'm really good at reading people just like you're not pregnant how did you know oh i just kind of get this stuff like home with a human pregnancy test in high school well i'm still on a quest to play through three of nintendo's worst games of all time i just finished up animal crossing amiibo festival and my eyes can no longer feel joy so let's check more body parts off the list with mario tennis ultra smash okay so what was this game's deal was it good what do you think based on the information it's hard to tell what is an ultra smash is it a move in the game is it the game itself or is it just two words that have no business being together at all yes mario tennis one of the greatest series of games nintendo's ever produced somebody's probably said that before the mario pyramid showcases the series growth from simple beginnings to [ __ ] everything the character of mario is so understandable to the masses you look at him and go yeah i'm comfortable everybody's played a mario game and know they're all about running and jumping and ending the sentence there they're games people who don't enjoy games can at least get and with mario being such a basic mascot character you can throw him into all kinds of settings and it would still make sense does he have a phd no doubt going to be a chef yeah as he renewed his hunting license hopefully he's a jack of all trades and nintendo usually puts him into so many different genres because he's such a good gateway character if you aren't necessarily interested in a turn-based strategy game they put mario into it it automatically feels a bit safer to try it won't bite when i see mario on a cover to a game i think simple wacky but well thought out fun and that's no more obvious than with the mario sports games ever since the nes nintendo's been cramming mario into sports titles starting with golf that's our mario he looks more like an uncle tony than a super mario but apparently that's him as time went on mario started appearing in more of these games whether they were starring roles or just cameos but when super mario kart released i'm sure nintendo realized the mario brand was too lucrative to limit him to just a simple cameo in these games you gotta theme the entire thing around them so in 1995 the first mario sports game completely based on and named after the brand was released mario's tennis on the virtual boy it's his tennis released as a pack-in for the system it was a mario themed tennis game am i allowed to be disappointed with a title like this i'm not sure what i was expecting but probably a little bit more it was basic tennis and it does that well enough but when you put mario in the name i'm expecting something more wacky or more cartoony or more fun well scott do i have a surprise for me 1999 rolls around and the mario golf series is formally introduced on nintendo 64 in game boy color with mario tennis getting a shot at redemption on the exact same systems one year later the nintendo 64 mario sports titles were fun and simple sports games you could crack out at a party and have a blast with you could enjoy them as just sports titles but they added the charm of the mario world character stage's items these were games that brought together sports and mario fans or even attracted those who weren't necessarily into either one there are a ton of people who don't care for sports but love a good mario sports game the game boy color versions were vastly different and were more so rpgs you control characters who were dear god anything but mario and tried to become the golf or tennis masters you can even connect the handheld games to the n64 ones to unlock things they had some cool ideas back then before the idea of a mario sports game became so concrete now when nintendo moved on to their next console the gamecube mario sports truly hit the next level mario golf toadstool tour and mario power tennis these were amazing upgrades better in pretty much every way to their predecessors while mario tennis was still quite a fun time on n64 power tennis added so much in terms of characters different courts with all kinds of mario themed gimmicks special modes it was incredible companion titles for the game boy advance release that continued the rpg lineage of the game boy color games and back on the gamecube we got two new sports series as well baseball and soccer yeah mario's sports titles were some of the go-to multiplayer party games they were incredibly popular so when the next system rolled around oh they really just sort of disappeared for a while you really are the human pregnancy test the wii and nintendo ds you see these systems were tailor made for sports games though we had a sports game bundled in with it they both had control schemes that screamed put a mario sports game on me and what did nintendo do they got square enix to make a basketball game for the ds why wouldn't they made sequels to baseball and strikers on the wii mario power tennis got re-released in widescreen with motion controls and nothing else and mario sports mix yay so why didn't mario golf skip this console why did they just port over an old mario tennis why did the ds get only one sports game the lack of titles on the wii may be because many consumers already had wii sports and most of the sports included in the package have been mario sports games in the past to be fair i wanted mario's super sluggers when it came out but i initially passed on it because i went well i have baseball and wii sports what's the point maybe nintendo thought consumers wouldn't care for a new mario golfer mario tennis if they already had free alternatives that came with the console but see that's dumb logic sports games sold like crazy on this system if anything people loved wii bowling and golf so much they'd immediately buy garbage bowling and golf games just because they wanted more of it now are the ds had barely any sports games i don't know but i mean add pack pics don't be creedy maybe mario and sonic at the olympic games had something to do with it no we don't need to make new mario sports games mario and sonic will do the trick but those were just sports mini-game collections they had charm no doubt but a collection of dozens of sports isn't going to have the same amount of quality as a game that focused solely on one sport i'd say mario sports mix was where the decline truly started to happen it's not a bad game but with it being four sports in one with each not feeling nearly as in-depth as they should be it just doesn't have the same quality as something like power tennis or toadstool tour strikers or super sluggers after sports mix we got mario tennis open on the nintendo 3ds we did yeah this is an often forgotten one it's not bad i mean it was mario tennis for christ's sake how could it be it was just lacking an overall personality and ways to spice up the series it just kind of felt like tennis with mario flair and not much more or at least that's what most reviewers said it's an alright game i take this in comparison to a lobotomy most days something better than a lobotomy most days it's just not too enthralling now if we take a look at mario power tennis so much character is injected into this one look at all the courts all the gimmicks all the cutscenes all the love all of this was something that was slowly but surely disappearing from the sports games and instead of feeling like the developers were trying to make the most out of what a mario sports game could be by throwing in as many references in character as possible it felt like they were just doing this for a paycheck this was also the first mario tennis game on a handheld that didn't go for an rpg style that's fine i mean those were cool games but i understand when you hear mario tennis you probably think about the nintendo 64 and gamecube versions first but it just kind of shows that instead of doing something different or interesting they'd rather just do exactly what you'd expect from a game called mario tennis thankfully mario golf world tour released for the 3ds two years later and this was a great time so many different courses and modes the gameplay mechanics were fun understandable but had depth i think the problem with mario tennis open was that it was simplifying an already simple game it took out the special character moves you could pull off from power tennis and instead have these chance shots on the ground they were just glowing spots where if you perform the shot the game tells you to pull off while standing near it you'll pull off a more powerful hit but in the end that just means the game is all about following the glowy spot and doing the move it tells you to do the power shots had so much character and we're tons of fun to watch and pull off and for them to be gutted like this it makes mario tennis less about mario and way more about tennis see out of all the four major sports series tennis is definitely my least favorite not because it's bad but it's just the most basic playing sport after being turned into a video game go over here hit the ball go over here hit the ball go over here hit the ball at least mario tennis on the nintendo 64 and power tennis on the gamecube didn't try to simplify the game if you wanted simple tennis there were more than enough tennis games out there for you mario tennis was for people who wanted a wackier take on the sport but there was still depth here you needed to be skillful to beat your opponent open's chance shots just made the game mindless you didn't outsmart the other player by going over to the glowing spot don't lie if you were [ __ ] luigi playing tennis and the ground started glowing you'd go over to it but you wouldn't feel accomplished you just followed the glow okay so after the gamecube mario sports titles quality was definitely declining sure there wasn't really a terrible one at this point but they were a lot more hit or miss than they used to be camel on software planning were the developers of both the mario golf and mario tennis series ever since the nintendo 64 in game boy color they've made every game in both franchises since that point whether they were the multiplayer party games on console or the rpgs on the handhelds and they truly had a lot of talent and just looking at their games on the gamecube they were obviously very proud of those games with amazing opening cut scenes that were more so five minute long comedy shorts they had great rosters of characters fantastic modes and they're still fun today but by the year 2015 when mario sports games were sort of in the gutter what did they do well they weren't wants to go against the grain mario tennis ultra smash was the first time i've ever used the term mario tennis ultra smash is bad as you can see the lineage of mario's sports titles up until this point somewhat started to degrade in quality so when e3 2015 rolled around i think we were all hoping for a new mario sports game that was a return to form it's been a while since we've seen mario strikers or mario baseball those would be fun to see again or a mario golf on a home console we haven't gotten one of those since the game keyboard hey maybe a new mario sport like football or horseback riding during nintendo's e3 2015 digital event after revealing animal crossing amiibo festival as you would if you wanted to watch the world burn nintendo showcased a few more trailers revealing mario luigi paper jam and immediately afterwards with no hesitation no time to breathe they just started a trailer for a new mario tennis game hell yes i am completely indifferent to mario tennis so this is just alfredo part amiibo festival this already wasn't a series you liked that's right it was a series i tolerated so what does it matter to you if this game got announced or turned out to be bad even if it was the greatest tennis game of all time you still probably wouldn't care about it that's not true i wouldn't probably not care about it i just wouldn't care about it why does nintendo love mario tennis so much i'm sure the wii didn't get its own game but it at least got a re-release of the gamecube one then we got open on the 3ds ultra smash on wii u then tennis was included as one of the five sports and mario sports superstars on 3ds in 2017 including horseback riding thank [ __ ] and then with no hesitation a new mario tennis game after that like guys i know this series has the fabled fan who thinks mario tennis is the greatest series nintendo's ever made out there somewhere oh we'll find them but in my opinion it's the least interesting sport of the bunch and even if it was the most interesting why not give the other sports more attention it just boggles my mind well this new mario tennis game was revealed and it looked fantastic look at the character models the lighting the colors it all looked gorgeous it was like they took the graphics of mario kart 8 and made a tennis game out of them why would you do that i don't know but look at the grass it looked great visually gameplay wise yep that sure is a mario tennis there's this mega mushroom power-up showcase where characters would grow get this big giants playing tennis well that's interesting i guess what does this game have a title what kind of subtitle is ultra smash what does that mean it just feels like they went to an auto title generator and it came up with this whatever okay it's releasing holiday of 2015. they obviously want to save a bunch of stuff about this game to reveal later this obviously isn't the entire game the game was playable on the e3 show floor and my god that is old artwork of peach looking at the gameplay it was just tennis yeah it's a tennis game what were you expecting you don't understand it was just tennis oh my god it looked like a very barren hd version of mario tennis open chat shots and all temporary boxer for the game was revealed and and i still have nightmares about this i know this was just to give retailers something to put up on their mario tennis ultra smash product pages until the true box art was finished but back in 2015 i was a bit concerned this was actually going to be the final box art i was more concerned about that than if the game was going to be good that was about it for ultra smash until october 2015 we got a trailer labeled look who's on the court that could mean anything it was less than a minute long and announced characters that were pretty much always playable in mario tennis games boo daisy waluigi i think the most concerning thing about this trailer was after four months of nothing on this game this was all they had to show us and it was releasing in a month we also didn't see any new courts it was just the same basic one for me three but the material of the court could be changed huh well two days later another trailer was released the love all trailer this one introducing the tagline of play tennis with super mario powers they had me at this game having a tagline so this was an overview trailer showing off all the modes hopefully this isn't all the modes but there's dennis big tennis online tennis boring tennis because this trailer fully confirmed there are no unique courts in the game it's just the same stadium with different textures on the floor yikes well at least at this point the game got actual box sword and the release date was november 20th one week after animal crossing amiibo festival i [ __ ] hate calendars a couple of hidden characters were revealed previews started to come out i was holding out hope this game was hiding something even when the nintendo direct in november 2015 came out and mariota's ultra smash was highlighted this was a week before it was releasing and i was still praying this wasn't all the game was this looked exactly like it did back at e3 back when it had a reason to be bare bones it was a demo and the first time we saw the game didn't even leave the unlockable characters locked when showcasing the thing they had no shame with showing everything this game was and most importantly what it wasn't so november 20th around and you bought the game you bought the game actually no not at all you're making great progress this was five years ago 2015 i started a bit of a tradition if a nintendo published wii u game released i would buy it i think i did this out of love for the company and a desire to support them during this era but see after animal crossing amiibo festival released just one week earlier seeing how absolutely baron ultra smash was in evaluating its price tag of 50 us dollars i picked it up about to buy it and said no i'm not supporting this i could at least understand amiibo festival 60 price tag it came with amiibo figures and cards it wasn't worth much at all but the price tag was a bit more justified ultra smash wasn't a full 60 dollars but that doesn't mean it's worth 50. i held back on this game for a while i didn't want to support nintendo rushing out games that were overpriced and lacking content just to fill their holiday lineup so i told that video game company they ain't seen a dime for me they may be a multi-billion dollar japanese corporation but let that be a lesson to them i ain't giving them any of my business when it comes to fifty dollar tennis games now when i see it on sale for 25 dollars two years later then i'll bite look at this box side i'll give the game this it looks good the layout's nice luigi unleash your jump shots to take the advantage the marketing people were trying with this game this blurb is like if a dictionary had harnessed the power of words on the back yeah it's always a good sign when the age rating doesn't have anything to say about the game no comic mischief cartoon violence or sexual content like mario power tennis the fact amiibo festival is racier than ultra smash i don't know what to make of that the disc yeah they just plastered random characters all around it and called it a day oh no no not the discard that was the one thing i thought they couldn't ruin and they did nintendo just like that i don't care well this is it game i refuse to buy and play because the principle of it all you know if i really wanted to be a hypocrite i could just enjoy an rpg but that's not gonna happen this is mario tennis ultra smash could you tell remember mario tennis on the nintendo 64. it had that cute little opening cut scene remember mario tennis on the gameboy color it had a fun little cinematic remember mario power 10 is on the gamecube it had an oscar worthy opening short film remember mario tennis power tour in the game boy advance it had an intense little opening for a handheld game remember mario 10 is open for the nintendo 3ds it had a lame opening but an opening regardless remember mario tennis ultra smash it had nothing so we enter into the main menu it's honestly pretty bland but pretty slick i like how when you hover over an option a video plays in the box it's simple but it's decently attractive it feels like a huge display at a sports game now is there another page of options are there modes i can unlock is there more to this what have i been bitching about the past 17 minutes this is all mario tennis ultra smash has to offer five modes that's not an immediate problem a lack of mode doesn't automatically mean a lack of quality maybe these are very in-depth modes with a ton of variety and replay value what if they made the most out of the limited options and made something truly special what if they did that do you think they did that what have i been bitching about the past 18 minutes alright so let's start off with the first option available mega battle though we choose between whether we want to play singles or doubles nice options i'd be concerned if a tennis game didn't have them and alright nice character select screen all of this is old art every single one of these character profiles are years old some of them over 10 years old from this game's release and i have no idea where they had to rip art from [ __ ] games just looking at the discord they created new renders of tons of these characters specifically for ultra smash why did they feel the need to reuse old renders even when characters like peach daisy and rosalina aren't in their tennis outfits in the renders when they are in the game oh my god look we have four unlockable characters grayed out who could they be listen i know that silhouette anywhere i can't believe they added grover cleveland next we get to pick the type of court you know these three words are also nice but i think heart's the way to go then we get to pick which type of controlling camera setup we want do we want the score on the gamepad do we want the game copy to the gamepad maybe even reverse view or dynamic mario tennis ultra smash is overwhelming me yeah i was starting to get a little sarcastic but there was a reverse view let's just go with copy and here's a loading screen oh oh it's not loading we could have just hit a this entire time look how quickly the a button appears here like it doesn't even load anything you'd think this is a loading screen but all this basically is is just a tip and trick you're forced to skip is there any point to the screen and here's the game surprised yeah i just realized this is a tennis game you just realized this was my first time playing it's meant to be played with multiple people i think that calls for more people to play with i just have to try to sweeten the deal to try and get them over here i am forwarding this message to everybody on my contacts list if you come over tonight i will inform you how your uncle just died did not take you with somebody who had an uncle i don't i just couldn't believe my uncle died again what if i told you your uncle didn't die and you can celebrate by playing tennis there's one thing i hated more than my uncle it's tennis what's wrong with tennis i don't know i i never thought i was big enough to play like if i could grow comically big while playing tennis i'd give it a chance well do i have an ultra smash for you yeah as long as it's not gex i'm in oh is it dex night i love gex knight didn't you get my message about your uncle dying he died for the third time yeah let's fire up gex [ __ ] lizard decks oh my god if you were a gex fan you get that mega battle we just played tennis and a toad will randomly throw a mega mushroom onto the court touch it and that's a fun cut scene i hope they play it every time somebody touches a mega mushroom oh joy so this is a mode where you have one powerup thrown onto the core and you can grow big of course your shots are more powerful now which makes it incredibly unfair when you're up against somebody without a mega mushroom but then when you get a mega mushroom when the other person has a mega mushroom then this is basically the same as a regular match when it's just two giants going up against each other you don't really feel the power of being a giant you both are at equal power levels it's not interesting with mega battle the same thing always happens you play normal tennis and then a toad throws a mega mushroom onto one of your sides if you had to fight for the mega mushroom that would be one thing but no they just throw it on whoever side they feel like that day and it's pretty much never out of your way to grab it you get it the exact same cutscene plays every time and pauses the action if there are like a couple of different animations per character i still wouldn't like the fact that cutscene interrupts everything but at least it would be more understandable now each character only has one mega mushroom cutscene in a place every time you can't disable it you can't skip it you have to watch it and then your big good for you now your shots are more powerful and it's easier for you to hit the ball back because you're so much bigger obviously why wouldn't you go for the mega mushroom i get that sometimes the mushroom may be out of the way for you to grab it if the ball is heading in the opposite direction but this thing stays on the court for so long there is not a ton of urgency to grab it immediately so basically when somebody gets big it's now completely unfair the other person is incredibly tiny but then toad will throw them a mega mushroom and then they grow big cutscene and all so now you have two people who are just large for no reason what's the point if everybody has a power up it's not a power up at that point eventually your power up will run out so now we're back to somebody having an unfair advantage until their power up runs out and then you get a mega mushroom thrown at you again and the cycle repeats the toads almost always throw you the mega mushroom in the exact same pattern every time you get it then your opponent gets it about 30 seconds later yours runs out and your opponent still has it for a bit until theirs runs out and then you get a mega mushroom again it constantly repeats now if your opponent hits your body with the ball then you lose your power up you're telling me they had nothing for this rating but yup that's mega battle it's just regular tennis with a power-up that honestly adds absolutely nothing but a dumb selling point to the box it's just so worthless like the toad just throws you a mega mushroom and and that's it if you had a meter or you had to keep a rally going or you had to pull off some skillful shot or something and it fills up and then you get a mega mushroom then that would be one thing or if it was just pure chaos and toad would throw mega mushrooms randomly like every two seconds and it wasn't balanced in the slightest i mean this already isn't balanced well but if it was more random i could at least appreciate it in a bullsh insane way but no it's just the same thing over and over again all you do is grow big and you quickly realize it's just a part of this pattern of growing big opponent grows big you go back to normal they go back to normal and it just repeats growing large isn't interesting because it's basically an automatic win button if you're large and your opponent's not you are going to beat them outside of growing large the game is uh it's it's just tennis you just use different buns for different types of shots but honestly just hitting whatever button you want does the trick sure performing different shots at the right moments is what skillful players do which is why we don't if you see the glowing chance shot spots returning from mario tennis open just go right over to it and perform the bun action it tells you to perform basically you either mash around a button when the ball gets over to you or you just waddle over to the glowy points and hit the button the game tells you to hit every now and then you do these jump shots if the ball's over your head if you hit a b or y twice every now and then if the other player messes up their shot you'll get a different glow spot and it'll let you do an ultra smash which is just a very powerful jump shot that immediately means you won but it's not like a crazy amazing looking thing it's just bam wow in ultra smash you should name a game after that i mean it controls well enough there's nothing inherently wrong with the game at its core but it's just it's just not fun it's just boring the gameplay loop isn't enjoyable the things that adds to the mario tennis series are jump shots and mega battle has god seen this but it's okay we have four other mods to try out here next up is mega ball rally we have to try to maintain a rally for as long as humanly possible see the mega comes from how big the ball is and it gets smaller and smaller as rally goes on so it gets trickier the ball comes from the fact we're using a ball and the rally comes from the fact this is a rally i don't understand when you're playing against a computer and they end up doing a giant ass shot on you why are you doing that we're rallying the ball with each other we have the same goal no mega mushrooms in this mode which is why we have to move on to knockout challenge amiibo pick ourselves a character and play mega battle against another opponent hey hey wait a second huh yep this is just a single player oriented version of mega battle it's for true mega battle gex fans only go up against an opponent beat them go up against another one beat them go up against another one and then what i don't remember it's just a never-ending endurance mode until you lose against somebody basically this game's excuse for a single player offering of course the farther you go the more coins you get that's right mario tennis ultras match has an economy and mega battle now you can use an amiibo figure in this mode as your partner for some reason you can't just have another player play with you or a standard cpu it has to be an amiibo so crack out your animal crossing amiibo try scanning them realize the game only works with certain mario amiibo sulk enter your pockets scan amiibo with that being said the gold mario amiibo works and gives you a gold mario in the game now silver mario doesn't give you a silver mario obviously [ __ ] them you must train your amiibo it will level up the more you play with it and you can teach it some certain skills see i like this concept but it's ripped off directly from super smash brothers smash for wii u and 3ds allowed you to scan an amiibo to fight with or against it to train it to fight like you but see smash brothers is a pretty deep game everybody has a different fighting style of their own so that makes sense training my bowser jr to play tennis just like me that doesn't nobody has a certain playstyle in mario tennis ultra smash it's literally all just mashing a bun when a glowy spot appears playing with an amiibo doesn't feel like i have an understudy it just feels like i'm playing with a computer which is exactly what i'm doing well that's knockout challenge it's just mega battle it is moving on to classic tennis this is tennis without the mega mushrooms all right you know what that's the last [ __ ] straw all right i don't i need this all right you this and janice classic tennis gives us two options simple mode or standard mode those are synonyms well standard has the stinky ass chance and jump shots where you have the glow things you just run around to simple is just tennis you just hit the ball back and forth so basically standard mode is mega battle yeah without the mega mushrooms and simple mode is more strategic and skillful but boring in its own special way well we can play online we have access to singles or doubles we can play for fun if we're confused or play a serious match we can play standard tennis or mega battle this game gets me we can even bring our amiibo online to play alongside us and now all we have to do is find a match wait wait wait gexx's online wasn't this bad what the [ __ ] is this game i [ __ ] had it [ __ ] you this [ __ ] tennis so online you can only play against random people and not friends so that means we are completely dependent on who's playing this right now at this exact moment you ever feel special that you're the only one playing ultra smash online of course you don't because i'm the only one playing ultra smash online the game's trailers heavily suggested you could play with friends the term play together online kind of implies you can play with friends what about this little eyesore right here well this is the achievements and store section you gotta have a store with an economy we have 25 things to unlock by doing certain things you know how old nes games would be notoriously hard so then you'd be forced to play it longer even though the game had like barely much content to it at all that's a neat quirk of ultra smash it brings that back we have to win against 15 opponents in a row in knockout challenge with every starting character that is nearly 200 matches you have to win and what do you get for doing that the star version of that character what's the star version of that character i don't know they look the exact same they just have a tiny star in their portrait after looking it up a star character is a more powerful version of that original character that's kind of dumb i know that's something that's not new to mario tennis but still it's kind of dumb but we can unlock more characters bowser jr dry bowser spxy princess cleveland cleveland and spricksy are new to mario tennis joining rosalina who's also new on the starting roster i really like rosalina in this game how she floats around i don't know if that was just a lucky decision to make so they didn't have to animate her walking but it looks cool and fits her character spritzy was from super mario 3d world and is a really fun and cool addition i like when they pull from the latest mario titles for new characters instead of relying on the same old same old and it's really odd to me that grover hasn't been in a mario tennis game before this but it's good she's finally here when you obtain the unlockable characters for the first time you automatically get the star version of them which just goes to show how dumb having a star version is in the first place and then there are the extra courts we can unlock i mean please i would like some variety thank you simply playing more and more matches will unlock different courts and the only difference between them is the look and texture of the floor carpet mushrooms sand ice rebound and morph can't have more utensils ultra smash without carpet mushroom sand eyes rebound and morph i'd say the most interesting one is morph simply because it'll morph into different textures already in the game rebounds kind of garbage but so is the game so it fits it'll immediately make the ball fly in the direction it lands on which is interesting i just say that everything else okay be honest while the ball speed and bouncing properties change between each different court texture most of them i can barely tell the difference the different styles i choose between mostly depend on whatever i feel like looking at that day not necessarily the ball speed and bounce of course if we look at the other mario tennis games and see how they all had elaborate court designs with interesting and fun gimmicks based on other mario titles as well as a standard stadium with texture differences you may ask why doesn't this game have good courts like these and to answer that this game had to come out in the holiday of 2015 no exceptions we have sand court you're asking for a lot we can unlock higher cpu difficulties in an amiibo training mode i mean having these unlockables that gives us some incentive to play more mega battles i don't need an incentive to play mega battle it's mega battle but we don't necessarily have to complete the tasks the game is asking us to complete to unlock these things we can just unlock them with the coins we earned don't you love how to unlock the pro difficulty it costs 5 000 coins but then for the difficulty right above it it's 30 000. all right what else does the electronic manual count as a mode that's my intensity smash and overall it's bad tennis with mega battle such a classic gex move makes you think it's not dex and comes out and says i'm a better tennis game it's great gex is a terrible tennis game yeah that was a nintendo published game in 2015 i think i should wrap things up by giving just a little overview on everything mario tennis ultra smash has to offer that's it i remember reading an interview with the developers of mario tennis ultra smash there they stated they wanted to go back to the roots of mario tennis and that is code for here's a lazy excuse as to why this game has less content than the nintendo 64 one i could say this is one of the worst nintendo games ever created and i will but is it simply because it has barely 20 minutes worth of content and was obviously rushed out just to get something mario related out on wii u that holiday is it because this game adds absolutely nothing to the mario tennis series and strips out anything and everything memorable or fun from the past games it's because the main gimmick of the game adds absolutely nothing but an obtrusive cutscene to matches because they could have added content to the game via free software updates after the game released but just gave up and barely mentioned it after the game launched is it because there's only one stadium in the game with lazy textures added to give the half-assed illusion of multiple arenas is it because it was 50 when it could have very easily been a 15 e-shop download is it because even disregarding the lack of content modes and everything the core gameplay is just pretty boring yes but was this game ever really meant to be anything but all of that i mean the demo they showed off at e3 2015 that was pretty much the final game i'm not making excuses for this thing it's absolutely one of the laziest and most soulless games i've ever played from a major publisher it's absolutely worse than animal crossing amiibo festival because say what you will about that but i felt the developers actually kind of cared it functions fine but that's not impressive at all it's tennis it's like they put together all the words they were going to use in an essay for school i mean these were some stellar words if they form sentences with them easy a plus but they never put them on the paper or an order that would make any grammatical sense either this game was supposed to be a legitimate mario tennis game and they scrapped everything that would require actual development to ship it out at the last minute or this was always meant to be just a simple tech demo of mario tennis in hd and then they would just reuse the assets to make an actual mario tennis game later i don't know i would love to find out what happened to this game in the background but it'll never make it not totally never not bad well you know what they say if you play two bad video games for children you're bound to end up in therapy somehow actually i played three wait no no that's impossible you don't mean no no no no no no no so this may be the worst game i've ever played in my life but what about the final terrible nintendo game that released in 2015. this was a 3ds game that released right alongside amiibo festival in ultra smash and it absolutely murdered a series i've always had a soft spot for so let's try out mario party the top 100 this released two years later and is not in the running why is the floor wet [Music] bye so tell me where it all began all right so tell me where it all began all right oh oh you're that guy the one and only i was your therapist you're more delusional than i thought you were my patient that wouldn't stop talking about virginity and not being your patient you can play that mammal game with the toys i would remember if that happened it's on my bucket list the tennis thing with big luigi that game doesn't exist it would be on the news and you're about to talk about something else that's what i called it see this is where your story falls flat it's really unlike me to talk about three things you freaked me out man the fact you gave a [ __ ] about three different games scared me who knows what you're capable of giving a [ __ ] about let me get this straight you believe i who answered one ad in the paper for therapist used to have you as a therapist and you went insane after therapy sessions with you about three games caused you to question faith that's my obituary okay i can't help you until i know what the third game is going to be why it sounds like a good thing to end my book my patience personal stories and i i don't know you didn't talk about it it was a game wait i remember a game you were a therapist i tried to be a news anchor but i wasn't cut out so i became a therapist here and i was your patient and i had to go to you because i played three nintendo games from 2015 that were so bad i'd seek therapy well what was the third game what happened when you played the third game [Music] after i get therapy for planning all three of these games i'm gonna suppress everything forget who i am and become a therapist and here we are today so it's just a 2d game about a robot a bad 2d game about a robot those exist not until 2015 they didn't listen can you just get over this trauma so i can enjoy my therapy and peace no you need to get over your trauma i need therapy all right and you're gonna give me advice on how to improve my mental health and you're gonna like it you're a therapist don't you give yourself therapy my mirror's in the shop you don't know what i go through every day how do you expect me to give you secret therapy when we didn't even finish our original session you know i'll tell you what if i finish your session will we do my therapy you know there are millions of customer support websites that would love to hear your personal problems you need to finish what you started we need to end this now i have dinner tonight with my family and i got to finish this before then so i don't show up insane okay fine let's go to where it all began nice place this your couch yeah okay this place so you ever take a [ __ ] oh yeah been a big fan cool so you know what this place is this is the bathroom no one's always there well on the off chance i need to restock no but i keep these here as a hobby i like to curate them this game blows uh this game blows oh oh my gosh it's worse than i thought you know i may left the force a while ago but when it comes to makeshift therapy offices i still got it i've seen better so tell me where it all went wrong well this game is worse than i thought gb robo ziplash is a stupid [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] you know that sounds about right but something just doesn't seem right oh heyo scott here now this is therapy back in 275 bc euclid did us all a solid and discovered the third dimension and it only took until 2015 for cheap europa to piss all over that chibi robo ziplash over the years i've been harsh to this game calling it such names as bad you may say scott it's just an opinion i'll respond with i don't know the fact detector says otherwise i don't like this game if it came to my funeral i'd be pissed i died in the first place of course what makes it so bad say and well we should go all the way back to the early 2000s a great time this didn't exist yet the developer known as skip limited were widely known for being unknown they made quite a few titles in their day but none of them particularly did all too well most people have never even heard of any of the games they've worked on but they still have a devoted fan base there's truly nothing else like a skip game they have such distinct art styles and humor it's hard not to appreciate their creativity games like gift piano the gamecube captain rainbow and the wii only skip could have made these and it's a shame barely anybody outside of japan could experience them as they weren't localized they created the art style games on wewear and dsiware the game lol for the ds their linkedin is doing just fine don't worry but the thing they're most well known for undoubtedly is chibi robo and people still don't know what this [ __ ] thing is here we have a developer who works with nintendo pretty much exclusively they've published all of their games except lol take a chance for once and most of their biggest games never left japan didn't even do well in japan to begin with and their mascot franchise which got six releases still isn't actively known by anybody outside of this room wait do i know what it is are you lonely no then no isn't that weird a developer that makes this many games with nintendo the biggest name in all of words and if i called the police saying i was robbed they took my nintendo game developed by skip they'd go who well skip is most known for chibi robo announced in 2003 was initially far different from the final product it was a point-and-click adventure game to be published by bandai he went to tell that gb robo where to go and what to do he was a tiny little robot exploring the home of an inventor and like all good games with this premise it was shelved however shigeru miyamoto of nintendo got a good look at this game and expressed fondness of the character of chibirobo this is where the company stepped in and decided to publish the game instead of bandai miyamoto joined as a producer and helped shape the game into the final product we have today which released for the nintendo gamecube in 2005 for japan and 2006 for the rest of the world jb robo plug into adventure transformed from a point and click into a flat out adventure game you directly control chibi-robo exploring a family's house instead of an inventors the family bought their own chibi-robo-helper robot that's me roaming around a standard house as a normal-sized human boo as a robot the size of a quarter it's a dream come true it's really cool to run around a typical family home but from the perspective of a rat just climbing up furniture is like climbing up a mountain in a regular video game it's a fun concept and that's not the only thing chibi robo had going for it this game is weird and different and that's what i like about it the humor and style is so fit you meet so many crazy characters and the gameplay mechanics of having to find an outlet to plug in to recharge and trying to make the humans who bought you happy by accomplishing tasks and gaining happy points this is a solid game that has that nintendo charm it sold horribly i mean this released pretty late in the game keeps life by the time chibi rubble came out i don't think many people were interested in taking a risk on a character that's plug-based on a system nobody had it's a shame because chibi-robo as a character has a similar level of charm as any of the other cutesy nintendo mascots if they just gave him a chance to succeed he could live on for quite a long time wanna know what happened i already got tickets to the funeral e3 2006 gb robo bark patrol was announced for the nintendo diaz how the hell did that happen how do you make a gamecube game that does poorly nintendo goes [ __ ] it here's five more games a sequel this soon and on the ds it was surprising but hey this game was coming up pretty early on in the ds's life it was on a much more popular system i think chibiro will may have a chance to do well here sidenote i love how i hold this box i always hold it like this but my other hand deserves some spotlight welp here in north america park patrol was only available at walmarts that's great i couldn't think of a better store to sell a chibi rebel game there are two types of americans people who shop at walmart and chibi rubble fans there's not much overlap this seemed like a last minute decision nintendo of america made as just about a month before the game released gamestop was still taking pre-orders i feel they just immediately had a bad feeling about this game and made a deal with walmart and they probably jumped at the idea of having the exclusive rights to a nintendo published ds game the hottest console out there and then they found out it was chibirobo great i think gamestop would have made more sense many believe walmart was chosen due to park patrol's themes of environmental conservation and how the store was aiming to not kill as many dolphins that year now do you really think nintendo decided to specifically limit this game's release just because walmart's view somewhat aligned with the slight theme of a chibi robo game no they didn't believe this game was going to be a success and didn't want a warehouse full of unsold copies park patrol released one day after the legend of zelda phantom hourglass it got no marketing here you could only buy it at a store that keeps their games behind a glass door you'd have to say 1gb rubble please and i don't have it in my heart to say that to an underpaid cashier this game also didn't do well it did better in japan i mean i can actually find commercials they released for it there but here in north america it's pretty obvious why it didn't sell it's unfortunate because it's an okay enough game your chibi-robo planting flowers in a park bit of a different take from the original and the ds just isn't as good of a platform for a 3d adventure game like this but it's still a charming wacky little game it still feels like chibirobo though not the same as the original and nintendo specifically requested that they wanted this game to be a new spin on cheap robo they apparently thought the original didn't sell well because right when everybody on the planet was about to buy it they looked up the genre oh that makes no sense well in 2009 the original chibi robo had a shot at redemption nintendo was re-releasing old gamecube games on the wii at budget prices with motion controls now dubbed the new play control line among games like pikmin donkey kong jungle beat and mario power tennis the original chibi robo was set to release on the wii this may be a great chance for the game to find a new audience it was the only new play control game that didn't release outside of japan are you [ __ ] kidding me there would be no work required to bring this game over it's just the original gamecube game the translation works already been done you could have released this game on a far more popular platform during the height of its popularity here in north america but no the last two games didn't do well over here well of course they did it you only released one at walmart and the other one for a failed console and you marketed neither of them sorry i've been holding that in for 23 years didn't this happen in 2009 so what's next for chibi-robo how about a true sequel to the original park patrol was more of a different take on chibirobo while this next game puts cheaper robo right back in a house helping a family out same gameplay same style this is chibirobo in its purest form how did they [ __ ] it up well often called chibirobo clean sweep by fans this nintendo ds game was a full-on continuation of the first game and was really quite good both this and the wii re-release of the original could have brought new life to the series and introduced it to so many more people if they actually marketed and released them outside of japan but no instead we had to wait four more years for more cheap robo action imagine the world without chivi robo games in 2013 we got chibi robo photo finder for the nintendo 3ds in japan and one year later everywhere else it was downloadable only and is more of a park patrol like chibi rubble game by that i mean it was similar to the original style but with the fair amount of differences this game focused on taking pictures with the 3ds camera to transport real world objects into the game's world i think this was a totally decent little title it looked quite good for being just a downloadable 3ds game too though it's more realistic looking art style while obviously done due to the photo taking mechanic isn't nearly as charming as the typical cheap robo style taking photos with the 3ds camera though i think that's what killed a lot of interest in this game if it came out in 2011 when the 3ds just launched sure but the novelty of augmented reality type stuff with the 3ds died off considerably by this point nobody really wanted to take pictures with their 3ds anymore so building an entire game around it starring a character nobody knew what do you mean we're going out of business i mean playing a photo based adventure game was your new year's resolution in 2014 get the game released early january here in north america it was perfect for that oh come on you need to be more accepting of different resolutions for example my new year's resolution is to drink more it's july yeah it didn't help that this game was announced in a nintendo direct with dozens of other announcements that easily overshadowed it like people had more to say about dr luigi well i'll give nintendo credit that they truly kept trying with cheap robo far more than other franchises that sold even more they just kept mishandling this series it felt like they never wanted to blame themselves for the series low sales and instead chucked it up to oh people just don't get chibi robo what's there to get he's a tiny robot i personally believe he can take any character and make him a success with the right type of marketing is there any reason why a fat pink circle does well but a tiny robot doesn't nintendo believe that if we don't spend any advertising on chibi-robo and it still doesn't do well we probably have to add some gimmick or change the game for the next entry to make it more appealing how does a company do so well but goes [ __ ] astonishing when it comes to chibi-robo what's so difficult but understanding that if i don't market a game or if i release it at the end of a failed console's lifespan or i only release at a store that sells [ __ ] hoses at or maybe if i take the only two games that may have had a chance in north america and only release it in japan then it may be my fault the game's not doing well instead of the games themselves moments like this make me really proud i was voted most likely to be therapist in high school nice i was voted most likely to go to therapy i'm not saying chibi rebel could be the next heir i don't think it appeals to everybody but there's no reason why so many other games that are weirder and more complicated sell better it's not rocket science nintendo just doesn't understand they're why this series fails to do at least a little bit better not the series itself but see that's when we entered 2015 and nintendo's had enough of the series not doing well they thought you know what the problem with chibi-robo is there's lack of empathy no over-qualification barely tax evasion that's me nope it's the fact chibi-robo isn't a 2d platformer that's my parents problem with me too chibi rompo ziplin game i've always just had a bit of a problem with this one oh hi scott it's your mom you're adopted that's understandable i appreciate your transparency oh and chibi-robo ziplash exists no this was announced in a japan exclusive nintendo direct on may 31 2015 starting things off showing what chibi-robo's all about exploring 3d environments as a miniature robot now here's the game you're actually getting your dumb [ __ ] so why did they take chibi-robo and turn it into a 2d platformer well 2d games are easier to develop are more accessible and generally sold much better for nintendo at the time after new super mario bros success nintendo went a bit 2d crazy and it felt like pretty much all they were making on the wii u and 3ds at the time were 2d games even though 3d games like super mario 3d world were very much inspired by 2d games it was pretty much a 2d mario game but with an extra axis so they probably thought oh let's turn chibi-robo into a 2d platformer so it'll sell better here's the thing the genre wasn't the problem with chibi robo you can't just take this character and put him in a kart racer and expect it to sell well consumers won't go up to a game called chibi robo super gas and go oh finally a genre i care about that chibi robo's in i'm gonna buy this no they're still gonna go what the [ __ ] is a chibirobo just putting him in a 2d platform is not going to do anything except make him blend into the crowd more rather than stick out listen i love 2d platformers but nintendo made too many of them on 3ds and wii u it just felt somewhat cheap and lazy to do nothing but 2d games instead of making a more in-depth 3d one and i think that was one of the problems with nintendo this generation like no wonder people didn't buy the wii u 2d games are fun and more people can play them but they just aren't as exciting to look at like 3d games are you're not gonna buy an entire console for one the wii u had a bunch of great 2d games but that's kind of all it had for a while duty platformers are games you don't want to take a risk on many of them especially nintendo ones are more so comfort food for people so tell me why would you go wild with a game called chibi robo ziplash if you want a 2d platformer when you could just buy new super mario brothers 2 on the 3ds or donkey kong country returns 3d or kirby triple deluxe or yoshi's new island or shovel knight or sonic or later on after ziplash released kirby planet rubble bye poochin yoshi's woolly world super mario maker like sure making this game a 2d platformer makes it more accessible yes but it set it up to compete against so many of nintendo's other properties do you really think cheapyroboziplash stands a chance next to poochie and yoshi's woolly world oh [ __ ] course not so you didn't like that they turned the small robot into poochie town no i personally feel there was a lot of potential for cheap beer would work fine in 2d you're mental let me finish no you're insane and i don't work with people who have mental problems you're a therapist it's not that they turn chibi robo-tutti i mean if they did it right it could be a cute little time my issue is why they did it how they did it and when they did it they did this because chibi robo never sold well so turn him into a duty platformer that makes the whole game feel oddly patronizing like oh you didn't get this so here's the most basic by the numbers game we could possibly make if this makes no sense to you here you go you dumb [ __ ] you like it now the game looked fine initially but nothing stuck out about it it was just oh here's a 2d game with a whip everything's made out of blocks there's nothing that takes advantage of the fact that chibiro was a small robot you could have taken him out of the game and made him any character and given them a whip and it would have been the exact same thing and they did this when the 3ds was far from lacking in 2d platformers like i said this doesn't make the game more appealing it just makes it blend in with the crowd but here's the cheapy rebel amiibo that comes with the game you should buy it oh man now people who collect amiibo have to buy this i mean they just have to you get the figure and it barely does anything when you scan into the game you have to have it the game was announced for north america one day later on june 1st in a nintendo direct micro playing around with the small size of chibi robo the game was announced for an october release they showcased it at e3 later that month not in their big nintendo digital event no but at things like the treehouse live show it's really weird to me that they didn't just wait to reveal this game at e3 2015 and instead opted to talk about it in the direct micro i mean they patted out their digital event with stuff like talking about yoshi's woolly world for the 20th time like four days before it came out in europe why not show off ziplash during their big event if they went to all the trouble of turning chibi-robo into a 2d platform for the sake of making it more widely recognizable and accessible why not showcase the game in your big e3 show instead all you do is announce it in a video many people didn't even know existed and proceed to not talk about it for four months until it comes out in october again you like to act like you want this franchise to succeed but you just give up on it immediately after revealing a new game so what you're saying is it's a shitty game shibu rombo ziplash was released on october 9th 2015 here in north america and the developers basically guilted fans into buying it saying how oh this may be our last chance for chibi-robo oh please you know what else was potentially the last chance for a franchise fire emblem awakening that also released for the 3ds and it was pretty much the ultimate fire emblem at the time fans loved it and it created new fans chibi robo diplash is nothing like a cheapy rebel game it wasn't what fans wanted but they better buy it if they want more games what does that tell nintendo if i buy this game that's telling them i want more 2d chibi robo i don't or it also says i'll buy anything nintendo releases i did so for 29.99 you could buy this game by itself for 10 more you could get the amiibo bundle this was originally the only way you could nab the chibi-robo amiibo here in the states though later on amazon exclusively sold it separately i mean i like this amiibo quite a bit the plug is neat it's too big to fit into an actual outlet curses but this is a nice figure and i like the box i guess the new chibi robo logo looks better than the original in my opinion though the name i found it odd that from october 2015 to october 2016 nintendo had a tendency to name games that were either polarizing or negatively received with an ash at the end of their subtitles but at least here ziplash is a fun play on words referencing a medical condition i'd assume if this game got a sequel it would be called chibirobo melanoma roma oh come on i think ziplash is a great name if they replace the word good with the word chippy robo ziplash i have no problem with it you'd be okay with replacing a word just like that oh i would and that's saying something words mean a lot to me words have been in my family for generations i'm a word buff go ahead name a word any word what love that one upon release ziplash received a price drop yes this did not do well commercially or critically sitting at a ripe 59 on metacritic was that deserved no even zero's too high i bought this game at launch because i wanted to support the chibi-robo franchise i wanted to see more games i wanted the series to not have to worry about casket shopping after every entry plus the amiibo was neat and i was in that buy every nintendo release you can phase in my life i popped this game in played it for 58 minutes and and i i couldn't do it so you barely played this game and yet you hate it this much no i hate it way more than this much you can't form an opinion on a game you've barely played it's unethical that's why we have hr so i should play 10 hours of the game i already know i don't like just have an opinion on it well if you don't like it don't play but how would i know i don't like it if i don't play it well just stop doing stuff this game has spent enough time soaking it's time to play through it and give it a fair shot because who knows maybe 60 hours in i'll start to see it's worth i will not put this down until i beat this game so let me just do a little bit of that there can you put the game in for me no that goes against my family's tradition they never asked me to pop in chippy robo ziplash and i will always never do that to honor them well we're gonna need help with this can you at least get this off of me now that me and my family did all the time i'm forwarding this message to everybody my contacts list if you stop by tonight we'll play don't lie i've lied before and it's too fun chibi robo ziplash did not take you as a ziplash fan i'm not i knew you were lying and i'm finally willing to give gex a shot oh no it's the gex anyone up for round decks what if i told you i didn't even own gex and i wasn't lying about ziplash that's ridiculous we played gex that one time that was amiibo festival well then that was ultra smash but that was a car wash we went through together hey i heard you didn't own decks from myself yeah word gets around you keep these on you i thought you hated gekks hey i cross reference that copy whenever i need to be reminded how much i hate dex yeah yeah that lizard all right let's play gex you know what i like about gex consistency okay can somebody pop in the game for me i i can't do it myself you knew that was gonna end up happening anyways i was worried that 3ds wasn't hammer resistant you're welcome all right cheap robo ziplash swing into action with your chibi plug-in help cheapy robo save the world i think i'm gonna be sick oh [ __ ] [Music] let's get this over with chibi-robo ziplash opens up on a 40-second long cgi cutscene where chibi-robo swings his plug and that's it here's the title screen this looks disgusting first off oh great a farm that's the first and only thing i think of when the act of chibi rubble comes up everything is really blocky and unappealing to me this feels like they were cutting corners and made really low polygon models and tried to act like oh that's just the game's art style like really is this really an artistic decision so the story starts jb robo is cleaning a space shuttle i don't give a [ __ ] our assistant telly appears asking if we want to kick it and watch some tv the news comes on and it's apparent that aliens have stolen natural resources from earth we gotta stop them so there we go we controlled cheapy robo who would have guessed we jump with a and swing or plug with vex which is called a whiplash this game is one big few to webmd we can angle it in the air that's all we can do swing to the side swing at one angle in the air nothing else is possible stop dreaming that is unless we hold the y button that's when the ziplash comes into play oh oh thank god yes finally a good [ __ ] use for this button the ziplash is a more powerful whiplash you have to charge up and then you can angle anywhere you click orbs are at the level to increase the length of your ziplash and then you can get it going farther places but the length resets after every level so it might be a good idea to just give up so yeah the zip flash can go pretty far look at that somebody should name a game after it can you imagine a game with an ultra smash and a ziplash the ziplash needs to be charged though and it's painstakingly long it takes a couple of seconds and then you have to aim and if i aim incorrectly i have to charge it up again aiming the thing is way too finicky with the circle pet you can move it more precisely with the d-pad but now aiming is ridiculously slow so that means well just use the whiplash but it's so damn limited you can't increase its length like the ziplash and you can only aim it in like two directions so your options are either annoyingly limited or annoyingly slow this isn't fun it feels like they were making the game and chibi-robo's moveset was actually pretty interesting and well-developed and you know fun and they said you know what this is too fun let's split chibi-robo's plug attack across two moves and give them annoying elements that forces the player to use both that's not fun i don't jump at the chance to use a whiplash i don't jump at the chance to use a ziplash i begrudgingly use them to progress i mean all right the whiplash is good for up close combat and the ziplash is good for far away stuff i get they wanted to have a reason for you to use the whiplash and the ziplash but come on out of all games to have coherent design decisions i'd personally design cheaper robo's moveset to be a bit more fun to use because the whiplash is too limited and the ziplash is too much of a hassle i think charging the ziplash is unnecessary charging it doesn't make it go longer or anything i think just holding the button it immediately lets you aim and then you can let it rip maybe the downside would be the fact that once you let it rip you have to watch it do its thing afterwards there's still that slowness element but it would be a lot less cumbersome and then you could have given the whiplash more angles to work with here while still being short in its reach i think doing that and eliminating the ziplash charge up would still give you reasons to use both moves of course you may say sky you're not a developer you don't know the first thing about designing a game see that's the thing i don't know the first thing about game development but that makes it even more fun to tell game developers what i would do differently you know this game doesn't seem too bad so far it has graphics and it exists yeah you know me i'm a sucker for existence me too that's why i love gex guys like the game works but the movement is more annoying than fun it's like just gliding in the air you have to hold x while falling it just doesn't feel good it feels awkward it feels like a tactile move more than anything and then there's rolling in the game like you have to roll r and it's only used in like four levels throughout the entire thing it's worthless wait there's a role in the game [Applause] that's [ __ ] guess so controlling the game works but i don't find it fun your moveset is more so a means to get to you to the end of the game rather than something i actively want to use because it's enjoyable i mean the game is just cheapy rubble going from point a to point b in the level use your plug to do all kinds of things kill enemies latch onto areas i can't believe this game didn't do well you have plugs throughout the levels to recharge your health which gradually decreases throughout the level since you're just on battery power so you plug in here but then you can attach these orange things to flap to higher ground why are they just orange things what are orange things why aren't they outlets that's one thing i just don't get about this game the art design context of everything and what the hell they were going for so chibi robo's going on a journey throughout the world we travel to oceana then north africa then the caribbean europe north america the south pole real life places so why are all levels so generic why are they made out of blacks why is everything going for a low polygon art style and where exactly am i in relation to these places cheaper i was a tiny robot but i never feel that perspective in these stages there might be a big hat or something in the background but most of the time his size never amounts to anything in here the fact i'm in europe doesn't matter these are just bland looking stages they're just made up of [ __ ] tiles like why do these levels look like they were made in a level crater just everything's made up of blocks and if that's really the art sale they were going for why wasn't chibi robo redesigned to look more blocky to go along with the rest of the style why can't i collect real world candies in the game that are designed realistically but then the rest of the game looks like this but then the worlds i'm traveling through are real-life locations i'm supposed to actually believe this is europe but then when we're about to fight a boss telly says oh we're about to fight world one's boss like who says that outside of a video game that just feels lazy why couldn't you just say oh man this guy's looking pretty tough no you're about to fight the world three boss fights sir you are in a video game made of blocks even though we also like to act like you're in real life europe here's a realistic looking bag of funyuns i personally enjoy how inconsistent the art style is yeah inconsistency is a fun quirk of gex i think it really keeps you on your toes like a mouse oh yeah yeah okay all right yeah how about i think it's confusing none of this represents the fact that chibiro is a tiny robot which is his entire character the plot-based level design is putrid and this game just doesn't know what it wants to be at all so tell me where it all began oh don't even get me started i'm gonna need a priest so we've got six worlds with six levels each in them that doesn't seem like a lot but when we enter these levels they really got around the lack of content here but making the levels never [ __ ] end these stages take a good 10 to 20 minutes to finish and without there's absolutely nothing interesting going on in them and how slow cheap your robo is how slow the ziplash is to charge up how limited the whiplash is they feel a hell of a lot longer they're beyond tedious and it doesn't help that this game just has a ton of collectibles hidden throughout the levels they're pointless you have chibi tots they're children big coins all these do is increase your score at the end of the level and there are so many of these things per stage i almost feel inclined to collect them but then i remember these give you nothing stop wasting your time your time is valuable and then i continue to play 10 hours of chibi robo ziplash now you do have those collectible snacks throughout the levels too the really realistic looking ones you can nab these and then if you find a talking toy and give them all the snacks they want you'll unlock a costume these talking toys are some of the only form of resemblance this game has to actual chibi robo games those titles had you meet up with wacky looking characters and the toys are sort of that but they just look completely out of place here like it made sense when you'd see these things in the original game they're toys you're in a family's house do the math here i'm just [ __ ] around in the caribbean and some toys randomly just hanging out in a portal there's no context of the place or sitting it's just a place there's nothing going on here why are you here why theme this entire game around a trip around the world when you aren't actually going to make the stages look like they're a part of that world and have random toys ask for snacks in them why not make this a 2d platformer taking place in a house or a school or something that would have forced the developers to think outside the box and try to design unique platforming stages around places like a kid's room a bathroom a kitchen instead they decided to go for a worldwide trip theme so they could just lazily use generic themes like grasslands desert they just went water level we're in the caribbean anyways the snacks you give to these toys are real world snacks and you get a giant advertisement told to you when you give them the food yes this is blame product placement and it's even weirder based on how the rest of the game looks like this and then you find ut's cheese curls and they look like that to be fair the snacks are from around the world and it doesn't feel like advertising when it's a foreign food it's more so kind of just a fun fact thing but no matter what this is obviously product placement at its worst there's no reason for this to be here it doesn't fit at least in a game like pikmin 2 where there are real world objects in the game one it fits more because pikmin 2's environments are supposed to look like the real world it's more realistic and two they don't openly advertise the products to you they go oh what's this thing and they try to make sense of it themselves it doesn't feel like product placement in pikmin 2 because the product placement adds to the experience it makes it more realistic ziplash pissed me off and makes me want dots so i hear the game looks levels are incredibly boring and they go on forever the product placement is completely out of place the moveset is more cumbersome than fun i don't like it well that sounds like somebody that hasn't played enough of this game why don't you play another five hours and come back to us yeah it's a fine game it's not like the level progression is like kind of the stupidest game mechanics you've ever seen oh after you beat a stage you have to spin the destination wheel that sounds like fun what does it do oh it decides what stage you're doing next if you land on one you go to the next stage if you land on two you go to the stage after the next now you'll still have to beat the stage you skipped over to progress so what the [ __ ] is the point of jumping all around like this the six stages per world are set up like most 2d platformers they gradually get harder the farther you go so why make players play them out of order if that's the case and also while the stages are deliberately called world 1-1 1-2 1-3 there's an obvious order to follow here why do i have to spin this wheel the wheel isn't meant to be fun it's meant to be a roadblock much like how the whiplash is limited and the ziplash is slow why wouldn't i want to go one stage at a time i can't see what any future stages are gonna contain there's no reason why i'd wanna play level five before level three so why would i wanna skip around like this obviously the game wants you to progress normally the end of a level is symbolized by three ufos hitting the gold one gives you three destination wheel spins silver gets you two bronze gives you one obviously you want the gold so you can guarantee you can keep spinning the wheel to get the stage you want as in the next one in line because if you spin the wheel and it lands on a three and uh oh you land on a stage you've already cleared you have to play through it again the game knows this isn't fun why else would they reward you with extra chances to spin by hitting the gold ufo why else would you be able to purchase wheel slots so you can get the exact number you want wait what the [ __ ] is the point of this then if i can just buy slots with the exact numbers i want with the coins i collect that just defeats any and all purpose of the wheel it's just an annoying thing they added for the sake of being annoying it doesn't even make sense in the context of the game at least things like the news broadcast you're forced to watch in splatoon that may be annoying but makes sense in the context of the game's world a [ __ ] wheel doesn't it's even stupid that once you clear all the levels in the world and the boss appears you still have to spin the wheel even when all the slots take you to the boss what is wrong with this game not much we might as well go through all the worlds everyone else is there to talk about world one is ocean and we got boring grassland stages a stage where we're on balloons and swim back and forth brings it down sting still brings it up that stage the game right there world one's boss is a robot kangaroo thing fun world 2 is north africa basically the desert world of this game we have a skateboard stage in here i died twice and gave up when you die twice or more you can just clear stages with coins i have no shame this game is far from difficult it's incredibly easy but if you happen to fall down a pit or something starting back at the last checkpoint is grueling due to how slow everything is i hate the idea of having to do everything in this game all over again and if you lose all your energy you have to restart the level and for these vehicle gimmick stages it's really easy to get a game over because either your robot energy is being used by the vehicles or just one screw up is an immediate failure and you have to start the whole level over again [ __ ] thumbs and anything that's played this game the boss of this world is a snake pharaoh thing grab bombs and throw it in its mouth just getting these bombs over here takes a while and waiting for the snake to open up its mouth takes a while this boss took 15 minutes to complete and i didn't die at all it just took a long time i was considering giving up here i considered giving up as soon as i left the womb but alas here i am world three the caribbean the ocean stage where chibi rebel puzzle moses imparts the red sea there's an iced cheapy rebel power up where we get to turn water into ice for a second there's also a fire cheaper power up where we get to turn things on fire but both of these pretty much equate to hold right you'll demolish anything in your path there's a jet ski thing and then the submarine is one of the worst controlling things humanity has ever created it is so slow and delayed it is a submarine it should feel slightly slow and delayed but this is so slow and delayed it's just not fun like ninety percent of what this game does they force these little irritations in there they could have made this game at the very least fun to control but for some reason they think adding an annoying thing to every controllable aspect of this game is good game design and then the boss of this world you use the damn submarine again world four is europe or the forest where it's just the same 2d platforming again the return of the stupid balloon thing i skipped this one at the boss as bats world 5 is north america alright home field advantage this is an industrial world a lot of factories another skateboard level i skipped this one the boss is this and world 6 is the south pole the south pole it's really where the final levels are snow themed it's even weirder half of them are lava themed so i guess the idea is that the aliens have done so much damage to the world that the south pole is on fire maybe or maybe they just decide to slap real world places on the names of these worlds at the last minute the controls in this world oh christ god i actually usually like ice worlds in games the physics are generally tolerable to me and i enjoy the winter aesthetic but here the controls are terrible it's not only slippery but everything is so delayed and slower than ever before this is unbearable there's another jet ski stage skipped it i kept running out of battery power and got two game moves and then have the energy myself to figure out what i was doing wrong world randomly throws you a lava stage halfway through it goes back to an ice theme and then another lava theme the final boss oh my god i don't know if i'm happy i finally finished this game and can actually call it a piece of [ __ ] or if i'm sad i stoop to the level of beating cheapy rebel ziplash the boss is a giant alien ship we grab the tiny alien ufos they become laser guns and we have to shoot all the bright spots on the ship in the background honestly the best fight in the game it's a decent fight not hard at all but i think it was a neat little change of pace but of course this wasn't the final boss there's a final final boss we have to build a giant chibi-robo robot to fight it and now we have to buy the pieces to make the robot this money i've collected has had no use outside of skipping levels buying number panels and buying items throughout the stage if you needed them i did not but right before the final boss you're telling me i had to be grinding for coins this entire time why not make it so then every boss fight you have to purchase things so it gets in my chibi-robo ziplash beating head i might need to save up coins for the final boss i only had enough coins for the head now i have to go back through the game and grind for 20 000 coins and buy body parts to beat the final boss i am [ __ ] done you should probably get on that i mean i can use the amiibo chibi rubble is still partially owned by bandai i'm still not happy we can get world 7 asia with it by scanning in it's a bonus world and oh my god why didn't the rest of the game look like this i mean there are still blocks but this looks so much more appealing than the rest of the game we can level up our chibi-robo amiibo and become super cheap rubble which is just a slightly powered up chibi robo i i i don't know what else to say man i don't want to play three hours more of this game just to get coins for a final boss i'm not gonna like so i can see where the budget went you know it all comes together in the end i mean i liked the game but now i really like it x chibi robo ziplash is not a good game it's a painfully generic 2d platformer and spits in the face of what the original chibi robo represented and showcases my problems with some modern nintendo games it felt like it was talking down to the consumers no people don't like this but they'll like this a boring annoying 2d platformer with terrible art design and no idea what it wants to be the levels aren't designed already the game functions but is that really enough to call a game okay no there's no reason to play this game and it annoys me that they held the series hostage over this thing's success i don't think skip developed much of this game the developer vanpools and the credits and looking at their history with games like we play motion and the minigames and mario luigi superstar saga i feel like they primarily developed this game and skip kind of just oversaw it comparing these three games is tough but i easily dislike ziplash the most they're all terrible but amiibo festival has some dumb sarcastic fun to be had in it and ultra smash at its core has a fine base for a mario tennis game ziplash every element of it i have problems with and as i progress through the game it just irritated me more and more it was painful to play through this game slogs on and on it's not fun every aspect of the gameplay they added an annoying element for seemingly no reason other than to just be annoying i have no idea why they did any of this considering they wanted cheapy robot to be a success thrown in destination wheel cheap robo's future's on the line it's been five years since i bought this and even though i'm 97 finished i'm done and i think i've played enough to consider this my least favorite game of all time it blows seems a little harsh acting like you hate the game or something i do obviously the level designs are all right you must love the game then just because the game doesn't inherently have terrible level design or any major bugs or glitches that doesn't mean it's fine it just means it works just because the game works doesn't mean it's good i don't like playing this game i hate what it stands for i don't like that they made fans of chiefy robo buy this with the hope of chibi robo having a future i don't like that they thought so low of people and consumers thinking that they'll love this generic terrible 2d platformer i don't like this game you know when you put it that way i kind of like the idea of this game being terrible yeah and as a therapist therapy generally moves the quickest when i agree with everything the patient has to say gex will be gex you know i've had a ritual for the past three years or so this game blows this game blows this game blows this game blows as much as i like that i think i want to end this now how can we take each and every one of the cheap rebel ziplash games in existence and eliminate each and every one of them we're swimming with rats can't swim love rats i'm in more of a lizard guy i'm deathly afraid of circles come on guys i have thrown 95 of ziplash's population down the toilet over the past three years if we go down there right now we can finish them off before they ever resurface i have as much confidence in this as i have facial hair you have facial hair where well i'm in you know what they say wwg what would gex steal the g stays for jesus all right rex oh the revolution isn't for everybody oh i dropped something down the toilet last week remind me to look for it oh there are my jeans okay so keep an eye out for these games what does it look like again uh hard to describe shapes four sides colors does it have chippy robo ziplash on it yes there they are i just thought that's what water looked like now weird name for decks why are the copies circling around i [ __ ] hate circles [Music] all the copies you've thrown down the toilet over the past three years have become sentient that's why my plumber [ __ ] hated me guys come on gekk's gonna do this right gex it's the anti-ganks no it's just a sewer monster comprised entirely of copies of zip flash i'm going with the anti-dex even the anti-dex has the word dex in it now that's what i call a good point [Music] [Music] i'm tired of this you're a terrible game but that doesn't mean i won't overcome you i'm better than that you're back i needed energy and ammo so what's the game plan here [Music] what the hell is the game plan here what's the exact opposite of this thing not gex that's for sure no no i think it's gex you know i've always wondered what trauma felt like thanks thanks for sticking it out with me i i got it all out of my system nintendo had a bad 2015 but that doesn't mean i should let it affect my mental health and so what if somebody likes a game i dislike it doesn't matter they're wrong anyways it's been an honor serving you i can finally tell you why you're so messed up in the head after playing a game as good as chippyrobo ziplash it will definitely make you feel inadequate sure you can rip up that raincheck for therapy i had with you i'm good on my own now i think i'm going to start my own therapy business called the think barrel nah good on you i love seeing therapists start their own business yeah what was your name dr actress but you can call me jerry thank you dr geriatrics you know i still have this on me oh my god for real oh yes we're turning this gex knight into a gex year what the [ __ ] is this [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] you

Channel: undefined

Views: 2,933,432

Rating: 4.8989501 out of 5

Keywords: Nintendo Wii, Wii U, Nintendo 3DS, Animal Crossing, Mario Tennis, Nintendo Retrospective, GameCube, Nintendo DS, Nintendo Switch, Chibi-Robo!, Animal Crossing New Leaf, Animal Crossing New Horizons, Animal Crossing Wild World, Animal Crossing City Folk, Animal Crossing Happy Home Designer, Mario Golf, Mario Wii U, Mario Nintendo Switch, Zip Lash, Chibi Robo 3DS, Nintendo 2015, Nintendo 2016, Nintendo Rant, Nintendo Review

Id: JxvmrmOHRsU

Length: 106min 1sec (6361 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 09 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/returnrayman]

So, when is it coming in theaters?

[u/LuigiHelpsOut]

This is what notifications are good for, folks.

Anyways, another video to add to my complete archive of Scott videos.....

Thoughts on the video: I'm surprised they added new special effects to make the transitions of the videos more seamless. Looks like a lot of effort for just a simple compilation, nice work, Scott!

[u/TheePurpleToaster]

I like the new rainy intro and the therapist's redundant sign help sets the mood.

[u/DankLordMaymay]

The credits confirm Gex Fan is local vegan Jeb Jab

[u/FireBallis1]

I'm going to take this as a sign that we're going to be getting a continuation of the MK8 Deluxe video soon

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[u/floortrash]

I legit just watched this twice. Such good videos