What is Jada Pinkett Smith HIDING? Body Language Analyst Reacts. Marriage to Will, The Slap & More

Chris came down to the end of the stage and he looks at me deeply sincerely he says Jada I met NOA what's going on everyone welcome to the behavior Arts my name is Spidey and I use my degree in sociology and psychology my certifications and criminal interrogation and Body Language analysis and over 10 years experience as an award-winning Mentalist to teach people behavioral analysis and practical psychology on stages and television shows all over the world Jada pinket Smith has been all over the news lately promoting her new book worthy in numerous interviews on different platforms she has opened up about her childhood her marriage or lack of marriage to Will Smith and she spoke up about the Oscars the slap and Chris Rock but what do her body language facial expressions and word choice reveal and why did this sentence set off some red flags for me and he looks at me deeply sincerely and he says Jada I met no harm there is a lot to cover on this topic especially because she did a lot of interviews and some of them were short but some of them were really long and I wanted to watch them all just to see key differences in the ways that she says things what's similar what's different and there's a lot of great stuff now a lot of people have seen the interviews she did on the Today's Show and as great as those were they were very edited and cut up in ways where things that I wanted to see were missing so I wanted to use a longer interview so most of the footage that I'll be using for this analysis will be from her interview with people and her interview with J shett on his podcast because in both these cases even if there are edits there were longer answers especially with J shett because he let her talk for a while and they're friends so she felt comfortable opening up quite a bit more so we're getting a lot more information in that interview there are also a lot of topics that they covered in all these interviews and although I watch them all and I'm considering all her behaviors into my Baseline and in this analysis we're mainly going to focus on the conversations about Will Smith the Oscars Chris Rock and all that stuff so with that said let's Dive Right In there was so much that people didn't know in regards to what was happening with will and I at that time and I I will leave for people to get the book yeah absolutely that I think would give people a lot more context to understand that moment when I first saw Chris name come on stage come up as one of the presenters I said oh boy I looked to will and I like he's not going to be to help himself this is going to be something I was like I knew I already knew because of history that Chris and I had um in regards to the 2016 Oscar so white and I'll let people read to get up to speed on that all right so I want to start off by saying that Jada is very expressive and has a lot of consistency in the way that she expresses herself making her overall a pretty easy read if I was doing one of my shows where I bring people up from the audience and I start telling them things about themselves she'd be a pretty much ideal candidate and I will prove that by the way later in this video I will prove that the way she communicates gives us a lot of information about what she's thinking and how she's feeling but even in this first clip that we just saw we're getting a ton of those consistent behaviors a great example is when she says give people a lot of context and we see quite a few things happening in that moment one of them is we see the hands turn Palm up like this as her eyes open up wide and her eyebrows go up with context so let's start with the hands being upwards so Palm orientation is really fascinating because it's a gesture that's been highly researched and we know that it's not Universal depending on where you are in the world when people communicate the hands have different orientations and different cultures in English speakers sideways is the most common orientation that we see English speakers communicate a lot like this that being said Palms up seems to to have a certain connotation across cultures and it's the concept of taking or giving so whenever there's an exchange we often see cultures that don't use Palm up very frequently turn Palm up so when we talk about giving something or asking for something taking something wherever there's an exchange this kind of thing is common and it doesn't always have to be a physical exchange either we could be asking for forgiveness we could be asking for Mercy we could be asking for grace and we might see those hands go up like this you could be watching a foreign film and you see someone go up to someone like this and you might be able to deduce that they're asking for something in the same moment we see her eyes open and her eyebrows go up so her eyebrows are really fascinating they do often go up as she's talking but most of the time and you can look for this moving forward her when her voice goes up to emphasize something those eyebrows go up as well it's almost perfectly sync there are moments where that voice goes up with the eyebrows and then comes back down with the eyebrows so using the eyebrows to emphasize is very common we do see this everywhere in the world in fact research has shown that in a conversation where we're giving someone directions just before the most important part of that direction those eyebrows tend to go up it's a way to Signal someone okay now this is important pay attention so in this moment she is literally talking about giving context so it's It's Kind of Perfect she's saying giving and those hands are turning Palm up and she's really emphasizing that this is important Eyes Wide Open eyebrows up and she does this a lot throughout the interview where there are these moments that come up where there's information that we want and she says you know if you read the book you'll get this information and In This Moment it's very important to her that the context that we get in the book will allow us to understand this situation in fact throughout the interview she says you know even in this clip she said it twice she said you know allow people to get the book and then later she said I'll let people read about that inferring that there's more information in the book and she keeps doing this where she'll say and I talk about this in the book I mention this in the book and I get it this is a book tour it's a promotion that's what she's doing but there are a lot of moments where it kind of seems like she's saying there's so much going on that I cover in the book and if you read it you'll understand this situation and this is one of those moments this context is so important and it's her job to give us this very important context but we have to get the book cuz the context is in the book when she talks about Chris Rock first coming out on stage at the Oscars we see a couple of things first we see a lot of this scratching the nose and it's interesting because that almost feels deliberate like there's a niche on her nose and she's trying to get it it doesn't seem like a subconscious gesture out of stress or nervousness it could be there is research that indicates that when we're stressed the blood flow in our face changes and that shift can cause us to you know we see this kind of thing a lot of this kind of thing so it could be that but it almost really seems like she's trying to get an itch deliberately in that moment moment but immediately after that her hands come down on her lap CED like this now this position is quite common for her throughout this interview she's often sitting like that but what she's not always doing is pacifying or in this case what we call ringing or washing the hands so we see this kind of gesture where she's doing this which we call pacifying or adapting in the research and adapters or pacifiers or self- soothing gestures are massage-like gestures often repetitive that help reduce stress so in this moment as she's talking about Chris Rock coming out we're seeing that adapting I do feel she's feeling the stress of that moment obviously a very stressful topic then she says that she turned to Will and she knew this was going to be something I knew I just knew so we see a bunch of things in that moment with the first I knew we see a shrug it's a shrug that involves the eyebrows again she emphasizes with the voice I knew and the eyebrows go up but also she's shrugging with the shoulders at the the same time now my regular viewers know I love the shrugs uh the best research on shrugging was conducted at University parin and they found that a lot of things can be involved in a shrug it could be shoulders could be eyebrows and shoulders could be hands eyebrows and shoulders a bit of a head tilt a lot of things constitute a shrug but conversationally it often denotes a lack of something or a disengagement I don't something I don't know I don't care I have nothing to add it's a shortcoming something we don't have and in this case it looks a lot like she's saying there's nothing I could have done about it like I knew but I was powerless I don't have the power to do anything here so this is called an attitudinal shrug of incapacity so imagine if somebody comes up asking you for something asking for your help and you just go I I can't help you I don't know how to help you like I can't do anything about this that's what it looks like it's a sense of powerlessness to what she knew was coming then she says I already knew and she kicks her head back like this and there's a slow blink for a moment and then her eyes shoot up like this almost like an eye roll the eyes aren't rolling but it almost has the feeling of an eye roll and we're going to talk a lot about that gesture because it's quite consistent so put a pin in that we're going to talk about it when Chris said what he said I looked to will as if to say see I knew it right um and then I was like oh boy that's not cool okay there's nothing you can like it's it's it's not something that can be cured right and that how many stories I had heard of people you know young people committing suicide and the shame and just how many people suffer as far as my condition as you can see my hair is growing back that's what it does it'll grow it'll fall out it'll grow back again pieces of my eyebrows will fall out grow back you know I'm having a good moment right now my alopecia is not as Extreme as most people who are dealing with that condition so I wasn't I wasn't upset about me and I I don't remember actually rolling my eyes I think what people saw was me looking at will going I told you I knew he was going to do that and oh boy here we go again there is a big theme in that clip and that theme is taking control of the narrative so she is addressing a lot of things in that clip that people were saying after the event online in comments without Direct ly mentioning those comments so she starts off by saying that as soon as that joke came she looked at will and that look basically meant see I knew he was going to do that so obviously one of the big things that was flying around was that after the joke Jada looked at Will Smith to like set him off to like let him know like you better do something about this in this moment she's even laughing about it she's trying to lighten it to say no no so basically she's saying a lot of people out there said that but that's not what I did I looked at him as if to say see I knew he was going to do that but she's leaving out the part where she says a lot of people were saying this she's not addressing that she's just correcting it without saying what others were talking about she does it again immediately after as she talks about alopecia so I would know this because my coverage of that event was the most viral video in the history of this channel it's the reason a lot of you found the channel and it was trending on YouTube for a couple of days so I heard everything that people were saying saying about this event and one of the things people were saying is that she doesn't even have alopecia because her hair grows evenly she knows that this is all this whole segment is about her addressing these comments she knows those comments are out there which is why here she's taking this little pause to talk about how her alipa manifests it almost seems defensive but it wouldn't be clear why she even says that her case wasn't as extreme you know it'll grow in it'll fall out I'm having you know a good phase right now so so she goes into a lot of detail as to how this manifests and you wouldn't really expect that you would expect her to just say you know here's my experience p blah blah blah blah blah but she takes a lot of time to talk about that and it's because she's directly addressing those comments and then she says something that made me so happy made me smile from ear to ear she says that she doesn't even remember rolling her eyes and she starts explaining what she was thinking how she was feeling in that moment and she says she was thinking I I knew this was going to happen here we go again I knew he was going to do that and oh boy here we go again and those words sounded really familiar to me because a day after the slap happened over a year ago I analyzed her facial expressions in that moment and I said this about the eye roll so it's kind of like a slower eye roll and we do this when something that we're used to dealing with comes up again oh here we go again not this again like she's dealt with this kind of joke before exactly the same words here we go again in reaction to something that we're used to and I love this because it's such a great demonstration of how behavioral analysis works so occasionally I get comments on the channel I certainly got some on that video where the person might say you can't know you can't know from someone doing that with their eyes that they're thinking here we go again because when I'm thinking that I don't do that with my eyes and I see two problems with that comment the first one is we don't know what we're doing like it always makes you laugh when people go no no I don't do that when I lie I do this it's like no you don't know that's the whole point our body language our facial expressions leak certain information subconsciously it's not gestures that we're doing consciously ooh I'm angry now let me bring down my eyebrows and open up my eyes and clench my jaw it just happens and the second thing is of course we can't know based on a gesture exactly what someone's thinking but based on context based on the experience of having seen this gesture many times before based on the research it all comes together to give us a clue as to what's likely happening and in that case I saw something that I'm very familiar with which is that look of familiar irritation and here we go again and here she is a year later saying she didn't know that she did that but she was thinking here we go again okay now we're going to move on and look at her talking about her marriage or her relationship with Will Smith and some inconsistencies that are coming up that don't exactly line up and what they might suggest but before we do do me a huge favor hit that subscribe button turn those notifications on for more behavioral analysis and practical psychology content like I looked at will and said you know you know I know but and that's the kind of you know those are the kind of moments of context that I think I lost sometimes listen there was an aspect of that that I was as shocked as anyone because will and I hadn't been referring to each other as husband and wife since 2016 I was like wife me that's right I am I'm okay that's right I am your wife I had no idea that that was none whatsoever and I came as family I actually didn't go to the Oscars as Will's wife will and I have been said like we weren't living as husband and wife since 2016 I was happy he asked me to go okay so again right in the beginning we have this mocking it's un like I looked at will and said you know like she's joking like about how it's not like I looked at him and I signaled him to go do something again she's addressing that public opinion of people saying you know she was the one who caused them to go do that then we go into this very conf confusing little bit where she says that she wasn't there as his wife she was there as family which I mean that that really doesn't make a whole lot of sense to because like what does that mean like were you there as his great aunt twice removed like what what do you mean you were there as family and you're not his sister or his niece so clearly you were a significant other so we're getting caught in semantics here that she's using to justify how she was confused when he used the word word wife she was like me I'm the wife oh yeah that's right I'm the wife and to me that's a little bizarre because given the fact that they're not divorced on paper given the fact that we don't know the details of what's going on with their relationship wife would have been a very acceptable thing for him to use to talk about her I mean did she really expect him to go back to his seat and be like keep my ex-wife that I still live with and we're not divorced on paper and things are a little Rocky and we're kind of seeing other people and she had this thing with our son's friend but we talked about at the red table so we're totally working it out name out your mouth like we know we know who the wife is so if she was confused at him using the word wife she would have been the only person in that room to be confused by the use of the word wife and I think the reason she's doing this you know throwing this confusion as the title wife is to preempt how rocky or indecisive they were about the status of their relationship because that will play her favor it's important for her for us to know that for some time now since 2016 there really hasn't been much certainty but we're going to see that fluctuate we're going to see that certainty fluctuate moving forward I understand why people blame me I don't think it's right but I understand you know considering the narratives that were out there I have to take responsibility for that and I talk about that in the book you know me being the adulterous wife that had you know push will to his limit I get it so I couldn't even take any of it personally and I had to put myself in the shoes of the audience and go if I was looking at this how would what would I say so there are things about this segment that I liked and that actually gave me a bit of relief and one that I think a lot of you noticed is that she said that she's the adulterous wife and the moment she said that for me it was like finally so for those of you who've been following the story know that for a very long time she referred to her affair with their son's friend as an entanglement yeah and then I got into an entanglement with August that's what I said an entanglement yes and we talked about this when we covered the red table conversation between Jada and will and I said that an entanglement might be something like this but an affair is not an entanglement now I get that by dictionary definition an entanglement can mean an affair but to me it always felt like she went to a thesaurus and she looked up aair and just went through the words and chose the one that has the least negative feeling to it and she goes o oh entanglement that's a good one I had an entanglement so I don't know if publicly before this she called it you know Affair or adultery or something else I just know for a very long time it was entanglement this is the first I hear her actually calling it what it is those of you who follow Jada's content a little bit more more let us know in the comments did she use adulteress or you know adultery or Affair before these interviews that she's doing now or did she stick to that entanglement up until this moment because as far as I know this is the first I heard her not say entanglement not use what we call psychological distancing where we use words that are less severe to make our actions seem less bad and she's actually calling herself the adulterous wife for me that was a relief when she says I get it we see what we call a chin thrust and we got this nice side angle where she goes I understand and you know it's not nice but I understand and then she goes I get it and we see that chin kind of come forward now this is something that often signals an offense like going offensive on something we often see this kind of thing when things are getting heated when things are about to get aggressive and I'm not saying it's overly aggressive I'm not saying it's just big hidden aggression but I do think that she has a problem with this narrative out there that she's the cause of this now that segment the one we're looking at right now is going to cause a lot of mixed feelings there are going to be people who are going to come out and say that's so great of her to take accountability and to finally just say you know adulterous wife and that she's working on it that's great some other people are going to look at it and go no it's fake it's all part of this her trying to be humble and trying to just seem like she's grounded and I see right through it I can't tell you what your intuition makes you feel behaviorally there isn't much I could point to there that would make me say this is completely made up this is completely fake I think what we're getting is she understands why people are saying that but she really doesn't like that people are saying that and at the same time there was love and compassion for Chris there was that oh yeah you know I talk about that in the book I've worked with Chris I know Chris am I always a fan of Chris's stage work no but Chris as a person he's a sweet guy there was a moment when Chris came down to the end of the stage and you have to understand I'm in deep confusion and he looks at me deeply sincerely and he says Jada I meant no harm and it was so sincere in his eyes I'm like that's the Chris I know that's the Chris that a lot of people don't get to see because people just see Chris on stage doing what Chris does but I'm glad I had that moment so where my feelings hurt when I heard what was happening as far as the Netflix of course my feelings were hurt but I didn't take it personally because I I can see his eyes right now as I'm talking to you and that's the truth of Chris's Spirit Jade I meant no harm we're going to cover some body language really quickly here but then move on to to the bigger point which has been blowing my mind so we're seeing a lot of open Palm gestures here and we're seeing it with the shoulders so earlier we said how open Palm often suggests an exchange asking for something you know giving something but here as she's talking about the version of Chris that people don't get to see both her shoulders come up with her hands like this and she starts gesturing like this then they come back up with both hands as justest so are my feelings hurt when I heard about the Netflix and again we see this gesture so Palms up with the shoulders is part of a shrug and it's interesting here because it goes up with the shrug and then she gestures with it relaxes then back up and this again so in this case again her shrug is pretty consistent because it's an incapacity because she's saying that's the Cris that people don't get to see like I can't show them to you because he doesn't show that side of himself to people and then from there she gestures to they just see Chris on stage and we have this back and forth with the Palms still up and that could very well be that she's thinking of him on stage and she knows that an artist on stage a standup comedian there is an exchange with the audience you know he he dishes out the jokes takes the Applause so she's talking about that verbal exchange and then the same thing happens when she shrugs on was I hurt and in this case again I think it denotes a certain incapacity and it's how could I not be hurt like I don't know how to control that yeah I was hurt so it's like almost like obvious like a duh as she goes there and she says when I heard about the Netflix and again we see the hands back and forth and there's a lot I mean listen we can't look at that gesture and say it for sure means that but often when we gesture like this it means some sort of exchange and it's not like it's part of her Baseline to constantly do this so in this moment I believe it might be that when she's thinking of Netflix she is thinking about like you know he dished something out we'll slap them he dished out the Netflix now I'm talking about him so there's this back and forth between the Smiths and Chris Rock but here's the big one this is the big one it was like a train across my head and such an amazing amazing example of why the way we ask questions matter we talk so much on the channel about the way to ask questions I have a whole video that talks about the best way you could formulate questions or talk to someone to get the truth out of them I'll leave a link in the description to that and it's a game changer honestly I've got so many comments on that video of people who shifted the way they communicate and it's amazing the results you'll see but this is a perfect demonstration as to why the way we ask questions changes something so look at the way she's telling this story of of Chris Rock's apology to her it seems so sincere and that it made a real impression on her she says it was sincere she's closing her eyes she's reliving it she says how Vivid it was she says how she connected and she goes on by the way I I used a small clip but she goes on to say how she felt his heart in that moment and she says the words Jada I meant no harm twice those exact same words and at the end she even says I could see right now as I'm talking to you I can see it like it's so vivid to her Jada I meant no harm so to me that moment felt like he gave her this super heartfelt sincere apology and that she vividly remembers those words Jada I meant no harm and there's no problem with that there's nothing wrong with that until I watched her interview with people listen to her tell that same story now I just remember when Chris came down to the end of this to the end of the stage and tried to apologize to me he said I didn't mean you any harm it's an entirely different tone first of all where's that sincerity where's that I still see it now it was so sincere she says says tried to apologize to me it was an attempt he attempted to apologize not that it was sincere not that she could see in her mind he tried to apologize and as she says try to apologize we see those eyes and we see those eyebrows emphasizing this try to this attempt to apologize and then listen to the words that she says that he said I didn't mean you any harm now I understand I understand that that's very close to Jada I meant no harm but if you really look at it there's actually a lot of differences between the two for example here she doesn't mention that he said her name Jada whereas with jet both times she said Jada I meant no harm not I didn't mean you any harm so again I get that they're close enough that like the sentiment is the exact same but in the first one she represented it as she so vividly remembers it that I at least felt like those words are forever engraved in her memory exactly as he said it I felt like she was telling me me exactly what he said word for word if you if you came to me after the J shed interview and said which words did Chris Rock say to Jada I would go he said Jada I meant no harm he said those words after the People magazine if you ask me right now what specific words did he say I tell you I don't know I don't know what specific words he said he said something along the lines of I didn't mean you any harm I meant you no harm I didn't want to harm you didn't want to hurt you don't know and I could tell you with pretty high confidence why there's a difference between these two responses do you now watching this video remember the question that J shett asked her it wasn't anything like so did Chris Rock talk to you open-ended let's take a look at the way he formulated his question and at the same time there was love and compassion for Chris there was that oh yeah so I've said this before I like J shett as an interviewer I think he does an effective job he lets his guests talk for quite a bit he asks open-ended questions and he really lets them get those emotions out and this is why I chose his interview and I do encourage you guys to go check out the entire interview with Jada that he had because this is where we see the most long answers but that was a leading question because he's saying that you know and of course there was love and compassion for Chris and what he's doing there is he's taking these love and compassion goggles and he's putting them on Jada and she's coloring her experience and her story in love and comp passion because in this interview with J shed's crowd that's what will work but People magazine now that's a different thing that's gossip that's excitement right it's not the that's shorter clips that get the drama going so of course in that case the loving compassion angle may not be as effective but saying you know he tried to apologize to me and kind of leaving it a little open-ended might be more effective so I have no way of knowing by the way what question was asked by People magazine interviewers but I bet it had less to do with love and compassion than someone like J shett for who that's a theme in his conversation this for me was a great demonstration of two things the first is why we don't ask leading questions when you ask leading questions you suggest feelings emotions experiences and it can taint the way the story comes back we know that a lot of false accusations was because in the interrogation room a cporn interrogator had a certain preconceived notion and inserted that into the way they were questioning the suspect which is why one of the tips I give in my video is non-judgment you can't have any opinions you just ask and the information has to come from the person you're talking to the moment you insert judgment either they close down or it paints their story through your lens but the second thing that this demonstrated for me is how adaptable Jada pinket Smith is it's almost amazing to see that in a conversation of love and compassion she really sold this idea that W they had this moment this sincere moment that she'll never forget and then on another interview it seemed much less personable so it's amazing to see how she can adapt to the setting and what's required of her and this is going to make me suspicious of a lot of things that she says because is this the truth we're getting or is it her knowing what we want to hear in this context and adapting to that she talks about in this interview and in her book about her childhood it was a difficult childhood there was a lot of trauma there and the attempts to heal from that honestly are admirable but we know that children who are raised in trauma become very very good at putting on a mask a mask that's very hard to detect because they can't bring all that with them when they go to school when they go to their jobs whatever it is they're going they can't bring that with them so they become very good at putting on a mask and adapting to situations and I think the result of that is this she is really good at just becoming what she needs to be in each different setting how do you define the status of your relationship now and what is it like you know right now of course we've had it's been an intense two years and we've really been doing some deep healing together like I said in the book it's like we have this beautiful friendship and we really look at our marriage as being being the Cornerstone of family we're both kind of coming up with different definitions of what marriage means for us yeah but the beautiful part is that there's been some really deep healing going on I mean we've tried our best to get away from each other I mean I mean our best and we just don't want to so we are defining it the way that works for us okay so this is the topic where she gets the most dodgy where we're not getting straight answers and this is consistent for every interview in fact my friend who's been on the channel Nate the loyer put up a really great video just a few days ago talking about how on the Today's Show in two different interviews which were days apart she gave two drastically different answers to this question about her relationship with where one day she seemed to say one thing and another day just a few days later something totally different and he goes into great details in the history so I encourage you guys to watch that I'll leave a link in the description but even in this answer it's a simple question what's the status and she keeps talking about deep healing she keeps going to that this deep healing thing like that's supposed to give us an answer as to what the relationship is that's a non- answer if I ask you like what's your relationship status you know are you still with your wife are you guys divorced and you say to me there's some deep healing going on on I don't know what that means it's not an answer it's so dodgy then she says that it's a beautiful friendship they have a beautiful friendship and there's certainly been times in the past where we've seen that they get on each other's nerves would you say she has been instrumental in you and I redefining our relationship I would say Don't just start filming me without asking me oh my goodness if you could film me stay come help us again please I'm still dealing with foolishness don't n no she yeah cuz she don't just would you say that she helped us heal the hurts that we cause between one another my social media presence is my bread and butter okay so you can't just use me for social media and not you know don't just start R I'm standing in my house don't just start rolling please watch us stare at the red table because she's helped us a lot can't you tell so this representation that it's this big beautiful friendship not so sure you know there's even times where she says they spent quite a bit of time apart so that beautiful friendship I don't know if that's just like a a fallback don't know what that is and then more than once she references how they have a different definition of marriage and they're trying to each figure out what that means well listen if two people are in a marriage and they disagree on the definition of a marriage that to me sounds like it's not really a very healthy marriage you kind of want to have the same definition more or less and I think all these things all this ambiguity is because she has to Define this marriage this relationship but there's this big obstacle in her way and it's the fact that she had what she's now calling adultery when she had a relationship with her son's friend and there are a whole bunch of different opinions on this like well they were technically separated they're not separated and that's fine all these things could be valid but it doesn't change the fact that she can't say that they've always had a strong trusting relationship it was always love that narrative is not an option because the moment she says that we'll go wait a second you you had that thing you the entanglement you had the the you know remember the so by talking about healing and defining and all these complicated things it kind of makes it okay that that happen because it's part of the healing process they have to heal from that together with different definitions of marriage would it be easier to go and find somebody else and have a more pleasing more aable relationship maybe but would that get me to the person that I really want to be I don't think so why is pleasing a bad thing I don't get I I didn't understand that I get how comfortable like a relationship that gets comfortable is kind of the enemy of progress you know like if you're not working on things you settle into Comfort I kind of get how comfortable could be a bad thing for a relationship but why pleasing pleasing is a nice thing so she's like kind of mocking the idea of being in a pleasing relationship I'm in a pleasing relationship a very happy I'm pleased the intention wasn't to yeah it wasn't to save face and it surely wasn't and I need people to know I didn't ask Will to come to the table yeah yeah that was not my idea mhm will wanted to come to the table CU he didn't want me to be there by myself he had all the best intentions yeah and got there and was I think his trauma response kicked in like I'm not ready so many people were like don't do this and I'm like no n I'm doing it for myself for myself so once again in the beginning there she's taking control of the narrative so a lot of people out there are talking about the red table talk and how she made him sit down and go through that which for anybody who watched that red table talk it it was hard it was difficult to see him going through that emotion it was it was just it was was awful and here she's saying that that was not her idea so again without addressing those comments out there she's addressing the comments out there but notice what happens as she says that was not my idea we see a one-sided shoulder shrug only her left shoulder goes up now by this point we've seen her shrug a lot I don't knows and I can't do anything and and it's always two shoulders and it's often the hands as well this time both hands on the leg and just that one shoulder which says it was not my idea in his best-selling book what everybody is saying X FBI interrogator and bestselling author Joe Navaro talks about shrugs and he talks about the difference between a shrug when you actually lack knowledge like you don't know something or you don't have the power to do something like actual shrugs are both shoulders and a quick pop like this but when it's one shoulder and it's held like this it denotes not a lack of knowledge but a lack of confidence this is something that's a little bit more deliberate as an illustrator when we say something like I don't know I don't know what you're talking about but we're not so confident in that statement and here it happens is she's saying that it was not her idea for him to come to the table now let's be clear about something something I will never say that one shoulder shrug or one blink or one something can ever denote deception I will never say that behavior can never let us know when someone's lying it can give us indications of certain things and In This Moment her confidence in that statement doesn't seem to be that high in other words I don't know if she's flat out lying like it was straight up her idea but at the very least I think she's aware of the fact that she very much encouraged it like maybe he was like hey do you need me to come on the show and like maybe originally it was his idea but she really encouraged it so I do think that she had a lot to say in him being on that episode I mean it's her show so obviously she really wanted him to be there and then at the end she says that his trauma response came in and yes it did if you watch that red table talk and again I'll leave a link in the description to the analysis we see that anger we see that pain in him coming through and as someone who's known him since they were in their 20s she would have seen that and then she talks about how people said don't do this but she said no I wanted to do it because I'm ready but for someone who's talking about healing and working together and all this kind of stuff shouldn't they both be ready like you understand like wouldn't it have been more appropriate in that moment when she saw the pain he was going through to say you know maybe let's put this on hold we'll revisit it we have some healing to do here cuz she puts so much emphasis on healing so I do see an inconsistency in her saying that they know each other so well and they have this beautiful friendship and they're on a journey of healing together but she had to do that because she was ready for something that's as much about him as it is about her I mean maybe it's even more about him because what she did caused him real pain but I just think there's some inconsistencies here in terms of how close and nurturing they are to each other and how she was going to go out and talk about this because cuz she was ready till death do us part and you think that there's not going to be straying eyes to me that just wasn't that that that didn't seem realistic at all so really quick here first with the body language uh we have our hands out like this and the whole time in that clip and in this interview with people they weren't like this the whole time and it's very rare to see someone talk with their hands like this so if this is not part of the Baseline these are called stop gestures or digital extension it's when the fingers go straight out and this is an indicator of stress usually when we're relaxed the fingers relax like this when we're calm usually when something's startling us or something like just kind of makes us kind of instantly stressed those fingers come out like this and it's a subconscious indication I want something to stop in fact the research shows that Palm out fingers out like this pretty much everywhere in the world is an indicator of negation so we stop things like this even if we're trying to stop someone to get their attention to say hi hey alab almost anywhere this is negation and at the end we're seeing a lot of this negation and she's talking about how when she took her vows in her 20s you know till death to us part that she knew that there's going to be straying eyes notice how the pronoun There is almost missing it's not that I'm going to have straying eyes he's going to have straying eyes it's there are going to be straying eyes maybe it's going to be him maybe it's going to be me so again kind of normalizing or or implying that of course there was going to be infidelity it would have make sense to not have infidelity and trying to normalize that behavior and at the end she's flat out saying like that didn't seem realistic at all so there it is that's the negation like this idea and that that's why I think the hands are up the whole time like this whole idea of Death To Us Part nope not you know the expectation that we're not going to look elsewhere nope so that whole concept her we're seeing this negation there were different stages in my marriage where will and I decided we were not together where we didn't you know we didn't tell the public I was actually thinking about divorcing separating I mean there have been several of those so again here with the stop gestures but those come right towards the end when she's talking about divorcing separating a lot of those these moments where they were going to end stop their relationship so again we're seeing these notes of negation in this concept of that relationship ending um and here she's saying that this was you know this was will and I it was both of them cuz we're only aware of this big thing from her side but I think she wants us to know that you know there was times where she thought of divorce because of something that he did and it's interesting because if that was the case and if it's all about opening up and stuff why didn't we talk about those things at the red table and talk about the things that he did that would have caused the rupture to the relationship so here she's insinuating that these things exist and maybe we need to buy the book to find out out but to me it kind of seems a little unfair that they talked together about what she did at the red table to the public but now she gets to go alone promoting her book to talk about the rockiness of their relationship by herself you know why don't we get to hear from him as well and and maybe we will soon I hope we will but just kind of seems weird how that one was the two of them and this is just her another thing that surprised me about this one is that she flat out says that they were talking about separating and divorcing but they never told the public she's quite clear about that therefore if we go back why would it surpris her that in public he called her his wife at the Oscars you know earlier she was all like go me the wife and this is a theme we see with her just like the video that Nate the lawyer made and a lot of responses here where one second they were divorced and it was you know it wasn't on paper but it might as well have been a divorce and then the next second you know we've been working on it and we've never been close to and we've been healing together so it's it's it's very it's very dodgy so in conclusion what do we have I think a lot of people are going to look at these interviews and see someone who is manipulative and who is twisting The Narrative to get attention to her book and to herself and others are going to look at this and see a flawed person like all of us who's sincerely trying to work on herself and send a message of love and doesn't really have all the answers but she's trying to work on it to better herself her relationship and share that message with the world as far as I'm concerned like everything else I think the truth is somewhere in the middle my regular viewers know I really have extreme views on anything do I think she's a horrible monster who just wants to manipulate everyone and will to get her way I don't think that do I think she's a saint who is all about love and healing and compassion has it all figured out I don't think that either I think she is a flawed person I think she's made mistakes I think she does reflect about those mistakes it was nice to see some accountability here finally I think she does have the ability as a talented actress to shift the way she delivers things to suit the moment and I think for a lot of people that sets off red flags justifiably so it seems a little inconsistent when she says one thing and then something totally different and we're getting a lot of that especially when it comes to her relationship with will look I think the simple truth is she doesn't know what their relationship is he doesn't know what their relationship is it hasn't always always been the same and she's trying to represent that she has answers but she doesn't yet she's still on a path of discovering what this relationship is and I do believe that to a certain extent if she was going to take this book T her and talk about their lives it would have been nice if in one or two of these interviews he was there as well so we could get a more balanced approach I get that it's her book I get that she's telling her story but because it's so centered on him and a lot of people care about what's going on with him it would have been nice to hear from him as well that's my personal opinion you don't have to agree but do let me know in the comments what you think about this whole situation what you think her intentions are throughout these clips I can't wait to read the comments I know there's going to be all kinds of people thinking all kinds of things but please let's remember to keep it respectful in these cases there aren't any absolute truth we're all bringing different experiences into this and having conversations to try to figure out Al together what we think is going on so remember to keep it respectful and I will see you on the next one

Channel: The Behavioral Arts

Views: 789,391

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Id: RlY1rHzLknw

Length: 46min 22sec (2782 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 21 2023