ANNOUNCER: COMING UP ON "MARRIAGE TODAY WITH JIMMY & KAREN"... JIMMY: YOU'RE HIS EQUAL. YOU CAN SAY ANYTHING THAT YOU WANT TO SAY. BUT THE QUESTION IS, WHO'S THE ENFORCER? YOU CAN GO TO YOUR HUSBAND, SAY, HONEY, I DON'T AGREE WITH THAT. I THINK THAT'S WRONG. I DON'T THINK WE OUGHT TO BE DOING THAT. AND YOUR HUSBAND SAYS, AH, AND HE DOES IT ANYWAY. GET IN YOUR PRAYER CLOSET AND ASK GOD TO GET HIM. YOU KNOW, JUST-- [LAUGHTER] THAT'S WHAT MY WIFE DOES. KAREN: I NEED TO HONOR AND RESPECT YOU BECAUSE IT IS IMPORTANT. YOU KNOW, TO MEET YOUR SEXUAL NEEDS, TO DO THE FRIENDSHIP AND ALL THE THINGS THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO A MAN. THE GREATEST MARRIAGE IS TWO SERVANTS IN LOVE. NOW LET ME SAY THIS, THE WORST MARRIAGES ARE TWO MASTERS IN LOVE. TWO SERVANTS IN LOVE IS A PHENOMENAL MARRIAGE. I LIKE THIS PICTURE OF HEAVEN AND HELL. IT'S NOT--IT'S NOT BIBLICALLY ACCURATE, BUT I LIKE IT ANYWAY. IT'S--I HEARD SOMEONE TELL THIS STORY ONE TIME, A PICTURE OF HEAVEN AND HELL. IN HEAVEN, THERE'S THIS BANQUET TABLE AND IT'S JUST PHENOMENAL. THE ANGELS WERE WAITING ON YOU. IT'S JUST THIS INCREDIBLE FOOD IN HEAVEN AND GOD IS THERE. AND EVERYONE HAS UTENSILS STRAPPED TO THEIR ARMS THAT THEY CAN'T TAKE OFF. AND THESE UTENSILS ARE SO LONG THAT YOU CAN SCOOP THE FOOD AND SERVE SOMEBODY ELSE, BUT YOU CAN'T SERVE YOURSELF. IT'S TOO LONG TO FEED YOURSELF. HELL IS THE SAME WAY. HELL IS THIS WONDERFUL BANQUET TABLE. GOD ISN'T THERE, BUT IT'S A WONDERFUL BANQUET TABLE. AND THEY'RE ALL SITTING IN HELL AND THEY HAVE THE SAME UTENSILS ON AND THE SAME INCREDIBLE FOOD IN FRONT OF THEM. BUT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HEAVEN AND HELL IS IN HEAVEN EVERYONE IS SITTING, HELPING EACH OTHER EAT AND SERVING EACH OTHER. BUT IN HELL, THEY'RE SO SELFISH, THEY STARVE TO DEATH WITHOUT SERVING EACH OTHER. THE FOOD IS THERE, BUT THEY'RE JUST ALL SO SELFISH THAT THEY WON'T HELP EACH OTHER OUT. AND THEY CAN'T--LISTEN, IF WE COULD MEET OUR OWN NEEDS, WE WOULDN'T GET MARRIED. IF I COULD TAKE THE UTENSILS AND SOMEHOW FEED MYSELF, I WOULDN'T HAVE A NEED FOR KAREN AND SHE WOULDN'T HAVE A NEED FOR ME. THE GREATEST-- GREATEST MARRIAGES--AND SEE, YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO MEET EACH OTHER'S NEEDS. ALL THE BANQUET IS SET BEFORE YOU EVERY SINGLE DAY. AND THE HEAVEN MARRIAGES ARE THE MARRIAGES WHERE WE'RE JUST SITTING HERE ALL DAY LONG LOVING EACH OTHER AND MEETING EACH OTHER'S NEEDS IN YOUR LANGUAGE, NOT IN MY LANGUAGE. I'M DOING FOR YOU WHAT YOU NEED ME TO DO, WHAT YOU COULDN'T DO FOR YOURSELF. AND YOU'RE DOING THE SAME THING. IT'S TWO SERVANTS IN LOVE FEEDING EACH OTHER. THE WORST MARRIAGES ARE THE HELL MARRIAGES, WHERE WE'RE BOTH SO SELFISH OR ONE OF US IS SO SELFISH. WHERE I'M JUST GONNA SIT THERE AND WATCH YOU SUFFER, BUT I'M NOT GONNA SERVE YOU. WE HAVE TO SERVE EACH OTHER IN ORDER TO HAVE THE KIND OF MARRIAGE. YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES. LET ME SAY THIS. YOU KNOW YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES BECAUSE YOU FELL IN LOVE. 4 NEEDS OF A MAN AND HOW TO MEET THEM. NUMBER ONE NEED OF A MAN IS HONOR AND RESPECT. THIS OUR MEGA NEED. WOMEN HAVE A MEGA NEED AND MEN HAVE A MEGA NEED. THIS IS OUR MEGA NEED. AND WHEN THE BIBLE SAYS IN EPHESIANS 5:22, "WIVES, SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBANDS AS TO THE LORD." IN VERSE 33 IT SAYS YOU RESPECT YOUR HUSBAND. MEN AND WOMEN ARE TOTAL EQUALS. THE VERSE BEFORE THAT SAYS, "SUBMIT TO ONE ANOTHER IN THE FEAR OF CHRIST." SO I DON'T BELIEVE IN A CONCEPT OF SUBMISSION, WOMEN SHOULD SUBMIT BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT AS EQUAL, OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. MEN AND WOMEN ARE COMPLETELY EQUALS. WHAT IS BEING TRIED TO-- WHAT PAUL IS SAYING HERE IS, RESPECT YOUR HUSBAND LIKE YOU WOULD THE LORD. NOT THE WAY YOUR MOTHER DID YOUR FATHER. NOT THE WAY YOU SEE ON TELEVISION, NOT THE WAY YOUR FRIENDS DO THEIR HUSBANDS. HOW WOULD YOU RESPOND TO JESUS CHRIST? IF YOU WERE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS AND YOU WERE RESPONDING TO HIM, THAT'S THE STANDARD THE BIBLE GIVES FOR WOMEN, BECAUSE MEN HAVE A NEED FOR RESPECT AND HONOR. IT'S OUR BIGGEST NEED, IS MEN GRAVITATE TO THE PLACE WHERE THEY GET HONOR AND RESPECT AND THEY RUN FROM ANY PLACE WHERE WE FEEL LIKE I MAY BE DISRESPECTED. AND AGAIN, IT GOES BACK TO THIS ISSUE OF THE WAY THAT WOMEN TALK TO THEIR HUSBANDS, IS YOU CAN SAY ANYTHING YOU WANT TO SAY, IT'S JUST THE HOW ISSUE. AND I WANT TO TALK ABOUT HOW TO GIVE YOUR HUSBAND HONOR, JUST THE PRACTICAL ASPECT OF, IF YOU OUGHT TO DO IT, THEN HOW DO YOU DO IT? WELL, THE FIRST IS ALLOW HIM TO FAIL. HOW DO I HONOR MY HUSBAND? LET YOUR HUSBAND FAIL. I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR. I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOUR HUSBAND IS IN SOME KIND OF A DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR AND YOU JUST STAND BACK AND LET HIM FAIL. BUT I'M JUST SAYING, YOUR HUSBAND'S IMPERFECT AND HE'S GOING TO FAIL. DON'T SCREAM WHEN I SAY THAT. YOU KNOW. DON'T WANT YOU TO BE TOO SHOCKED. YOUR HUSBAND'S IMPERFECT AND HE'S GOING TO FAIL. A LOT OF DAMAGE THAT WOMEN DO IN THEIR MARRIAGES IS TRYING TO KEEP THEIR HUSBAND FROM MAKING A MISTAKE. OK. I LOVE JOYCE MEYER'S STORY. ONE DAY HER AND HER HUSBAND DAVE WERE IN THE CAR DRIVING. SHE'S TELLING THIS STORY IN ONE OF HER TEACHINGS. AND THEY WERE IN THE CAR DRIVING. YOU KNOW HOW IT IS WHEN YOU'RE DRIVING. YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST, UH... [LAUGHTER] AND I'VE GOT THE MOST EMOTIVE WIFE IN THE WORLD WHEN SHE-- SHE HAS A NAME FOR EVERYBODY ON THE ROAD AND SHE TALKS TO EVERYBODY ON THE ROAD. AND SHE SCREAMS AND GRABS THE DASH AND ALL THIS KIND OF THINGS. WE'VE LEARNED TO LIVE WITH IT. YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS. BUT, UM... JOYCE MEYER WAS DRIVING DOWN THE STREET WITH DAVE ONE DAY AND SHE WAS TELLING HIM, YOU KNOW, TURN HERE, STOP, GO, ALL THE THINGS THAT WIVES DO WITH THEIR HUSBAND. SO DAVE WAS MAD. HE WAS MAD, SHE WAS FRUSTRATED. AND THEY WERE AT A STOP SIGN, AND THE LORD SAID TO HER--THEY WERE SITTING THERE AND, YOU KNOW, HE WAS MAD, SHE WAS FRUSTRATED, AND SHE WAS TELLING HIM ALL THIS. AND THE LORD SAID TO HER, WHY CAN'T YOU SHUT UP? [LAUGHTER] I'M GOING TO MILK THAT FOR JUST A MINUTE LONGER. I... [LAUGHTER] IN OTHER WORDS, JUST LET HIM GO HIS OWN WAY. LET HIM MAKE A WRONG TURN. LET HIM GET LOST. BY THE WAY, MEN DON'T GET LOST. WE'RE JUST--IT'S AN ADVENTURE. [LAUGHTER] AND WE DON'T NEED SOME STINKIN' PERSON TELLING US WHAT TO DO. AND--BUT LET HIM MAKE A MISTAKE. YOU DON'T HAVE TO CORRECT HIM FOR EVERYTHING. THAT'S NOT YOUR ROLE, IS TO CORRECT YOUR HUSBAND ON EVERYTHING. JUST LET HIM MAKE A MISTAKE. AND YOU SUPPORT HIM. IN OTHER WORDS, I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR. THE SECOND THING IS, CONFRONT YOUR HUSBAND BUT LET GOD BE THE ENFORCER. YOU'RE HIS EQUAL. YOU CAN SAY ANYTHING THAT YOU WANT TO SAY. BUT THE QUESTION IS, WHO'S THE ENFORCER? YOU GO TO YOUR HUSBAND, SAY, HONEY, I DON'T AGREE WITH THAT. I THINK THAT'S WRONG. I DON'T THINK WE OUGHT TO BE DOING THAT. AND YOUR HUSBAND SAYS, AH, AND HE DOES IT ANYWAY. GET IN YOUR PRAYER CLOSET AND ASK GOD TO GET HIM. YOU KNOW, JUST... [LAUGHTER] THAT'S WHAT MY WIFE DOES. SHE HAS A RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS. LET ME SAY, IF YOU'RE TELLING THE TRUTH, GOD IS ON YOUR SIDE, AND HE CAN CHANGE YOUR HUSBAND AND IT WON'T DRIVE YOUR HUSBAND AWAY FROM YOU. OK? IF YOU'RE WRONG, HE WOULD CORRECT YOU. THERE'S NOT MUCH OF A CHANCE THAT YOU'RE WRONG. [LAUGHTER] BUT THERE'S A CHANCE. THERE'S A CHANCE. SO YOU TELL YOUR HUSBAND, HONEY, THIS--I'M NOT THE ENFORCER. THE HOLY SPIRIT IS THE ENFORCER. AND MEN NEED TO DO THE SAME THING. OTHERWISE, YOU DO NAG, AND YOU GET INTO A FEAR MODE, NOT A FAITH MODE. FIRST PETER 3 TALKS ABOUT, WOMEN CAN CHANGE THEIR HUSBANDS WITHOUT A WORD, IS THEY OBSERVE YOUR CHASTE AND RESPECTFUL BEHAVIOR. AND IT SAYS THAT A GENTLE AND QUIET SPIRIT IS PRECIOUS IN GOD'S SIGHT. AND LISTEN, GENTLE AND QUIET IS NOT A MOUSY LITTLE BEATEN-DOWN WOMAN. BECAUSE I KNOW SOME OF YOU HAVE VERY STRONG PERSONALITIES AND YOU'RE OFFENDED BY THAT, AND I DON'T BLAME YOU. OK. GENTLE AND QUIET IS THE OPPOSITE OF ROUGH AND LOUD. AND THE REASON THAT YOU BECOME AGGRESSIVE IS BECAUSE OF FEAR, TYPICALLY. MY HUSBAND'S GOING TO MAKE A MISTAKE, AND I'VE GOT TO STOP HIM. NO, YOU NEED TO SAY WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY AND YOU NEED TO TRUST GOD TO CHANGE YOUR HUSBAND. AGAIN, IF IT'S DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR, CALL SOMEBODY IN. I'M NOT SAYING STAND BACK AND WATCH YOUR HUSBAND SELF-DESTRUCT. JIMMY EVANS: IN THE YEAR 1930, 83% OF ADULT AMERICANS WERE MARRIED. TODAY IN AMERICA, 49% OF ADULT AMERICANS ARE MARRIED. EVERYBODY HAS A LEGACY, BUT HOW IMPORTANT IS IT TO YOU THAT, FOR YOUR CHILDREN AND YOUR FAMILY, THAT THEY HAVE A LEGACY OF GOOD MARRIAGE? WHAT WE DO WITH OUR LIVES IS GOING TO DRAMATICALLY EFFECT THE NEXT GENERATION. MARRIAGE IS THE FUTURE. WE MUST BUILD MARRIAGE. AND WHAT WE LOVE TO DO HERE AT "MARRIAGETODAY" IS GIVE PEOPLE HOPE. BECAUSE MARRIAGE WORKS. MARRIAGE WORKS WONDERFULLY. GOD WOULD NEVER CREATE ANYTHING FOR FAILURE. MAN: THE WORLD WAS TELLING US TO GIVE UP. PEOPLE AROUND US WAS TELLING US TO GIVE UP. BUT "MARRIAGETODAY" WAS A... A LIGHT IN A DARK PLACE FOR US AT A DARK TIME. WOMAN: HEARING JIMMY AND KAREN EVANS JUST TALKING ABOUT HOW GOD COULD RESTORE ANY MARRIAGE, IT STARTED TO BRING HOPE BACK INTO ME. MAN: THEY CHANGED OUR LIFE. THEY CHANGED OUR FUTURE. JIMMY: WE LOVE HELPING PEOPLE IN MARRIAGE, BUT WE HAVE TO HAVE SUPPORT TO DO THAT. IN EVERYTHING THAT WE DO, WE KNOW THAT WE'RE TOUCHING MILLIONS OF LIVES EVERY YEAR AND MILLIONS OF FAMILIES. WOULD YOU STAND WITH US AS WE BUILD MARRIAGES IN AMERICA AND AROUND THE WORLD? THE FAMILIES THAT WE HELP AND THE CHILDREN THAT WE KEEP TOGETHER WITH THEIR PARENTS ARE BECAUSE OF YOU. PLEASE CONSIDER GIVING YOUR MOST GENEROUS GIFT TO HELP US HERE AT "MARRIAGETODAY" LIFT THE STANDARD AROUND THE WORLD FOR MARRIAGE AND FAMILY. THE NEXT THING IS, HONOR HIM WHERE YOU WANT HIM TO BE, NOT WHERE HE IS. HONOR HIM-- THIS IS WHAT KAREN DID FOR ME. PROVERBS 31 TALKS ABOUT THE EXCELLENT WIFE, AND IT SAYS, HER HUSBAND IS AN ELDER IN THE GATES OF THE CITY. IT ATTRIBUTES IT TO HER, NOT HIM. HER HUSBAND IS AN ELDER IN THE GATES OF THE CITY BECAUSE OF HER. IN OTHER WORDS, HER HUSBAND PROBABLY WASN'T ACTING LIKE AN ELDER IN THE GATES OF THE CITY, BUT SHE TREATED HIM AS THOUGH HE WERE AN ELDER IN THE GATES OF THE CITY AND HE BECAME, ACCORDING TO HER LEVEL OF HONOR. LISTEN, MEN BECOME IN AN ATMOSPHERE OF HONOR. MEN WILL DO ANYTHING FOR HONOR. WE'RE CRAZY FOR HONOR. AND SO WHEN A WIFE IS HONORING HER HUSBAND BEYOND WHERE HE IS, UNDESERVED HONOR, IN OTHER WORDS, SPEAKING DESTINY INTO YOUR HUSBAND. BEYOND WHAT HE'S DOING RIGHT NOW, WHAT DO YOU SEE IN YOUR HUSBAND? WHAT DID YOU SEE IN HIM WHEN YOU WERE DATING HIM? AND YOU HONOR HIM AT THAT LEVEL. HE RISES TO THAT LEVEL OF HONOR. AND THE NUMBER 4 IS, COVER HIS FAULTS AND FOCUS ON HIS STRENGTHS. THE DEVIL IS THE ACCUSER OF THE BRETHREN. AND HE'S ALWAYS ACCUSING, CONSTANTLY ACCUSING. AND WHAT THE DEVIL WANTS US TO DO IS CONSTANTLY THINK ABOUT THE WORST QUALITIES IN OUR SPOUSE. WHAT GOD WANTS TO DO IS US TO CONSTANTLY THINK ABOUT THE BEST QUALITIES IN OUR SPOUSE. THIS IS MEN AND WOMEN BOTH. AND WHEN THE DEVIL HAS HAD HIS WAY, OUR MINDS BECOME NEGATIVE AND FAULT-FINDING AND ALL WE DO IS SEE THE WRONG THING. YOU KNOW, ON ANY GIVEN DAY, YOU CAN WAKE UP AND WRITE DOWN ALL THE BAD THINGS ABOUT YOUR LIFE. BUT ON ANY GIVEN DAY, THE GOOD THINGS ABOUT OUR LIVES FAR OUTWEIGH THE BAD THINGS. BUT WE HAVE A TENDENCY TO TAKE THE GOOD THINGS FOR GRANTED AND FOCUS ON THE BAD THINGS. THAT'S WHY PRAISE IS SUCH A CRITICAL DISCIPLINE. REMIND YOURSELF EVERY DAY ABOUT THE GOOD THINGS THAT YOUR HUSBAND DOES. AND AS YOU BEGIN TO REMEMBER THAT, YOU'LL REALIZE THAT'S A LOT. THE SECOND NEED THAT MEN HAVE IS SEX. AND SO MEN ARE TYPICALLY-- 20 PERCENT OF WOMEN ARE MORE SEXUAL THAN THEIR HUSBANDS, BUT MOST MEN ARE MORE SEXUAL THAN THEIR WIVES. AND SO THE WAY THAT YOU MEET YOUR HUSBAND'S NEED FOR SEX IS FIRST OF ALL, YOU COMMUNICATE TO YOUR HUSBAND THAT YOU ACCEPT HIS NEED AND THAT YOU'RE COMMITTED TO MEETING IT. I ACCEPT THIS NEED. AND AGAIN I WANT TO SAY-- I DID PRE-MARRIAGE COUNSELING FOR A LONG TIME GETTING COUPLES READY TO BE MARRIED. AND REGARDLESS OF HOW MUCH I TOLD THE YOUNG BRIDES ABOUT THEIR HUSBAND'S NEED FOR SEX, YOU KNOW, TYPICALLY 6 MONTHS INTO THE MARRIAGE, THEY'RE CONVINCED THEY'VE MARRIED A PERVERT. YOU KNOW, ALL HE THINKS ABOUT IS SEX. AND TYPICALLY WHAT WOMEN DO TYPICALLY IS, THEY SOMETIMES TRY TO SHAME THEIR HUSBANDS OUT OF IT. LIKE, AGAIN? [LAUGHTER] IT'S IMPOSSIBLE. IT'S--YOU'RE--THIS ISN'T HEALTHY. AGAIN? LECTURES AND BROW-BEATING, AND IT'S LIKE...[SCOFFS] IS--I ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU'RE MORE SEXUAL THAN ME. AND THAT'S REALLY THE WAY THAT IT IS. GOD GAVE YOUR HUSBAND THAT NEED TO KEEP DRAWING HIM BACK TO YOU. UNDERSTAND THAT MEN ARE VISUAL AND PHYSICAL MUCH MORE THAN WOMEN. NOW, WOMEN AREN'T BLIND RELATED TO SEX. BUT MEN ARE VISUALLY STIMULATED. THEY WANT TO SEE THEIR WIVES NAKED. WHICH MEANS EITHER NAKED OR LINGERIE, AND NOT FLANNEL. [LAUGHTER] AND NOT CANVAS. NOT-- I DID A SEMINAR ONE TIME IN BALTIMORE AND I MADE--I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS A STAND-UP COMEDIAN IN THE AUDIENCE, AND I SAID, LADIES, THERE'S A PLACE FOR FLANNEL NIGHTGOWNS, AND THIS GUY YELLED OUT, "THE FIREPLACE!" AND... [LAUGHTER] SO MEN DON'T NEED NON-SEXUAL TOUCHING. WE WANT SEXUAL TOUCHING. AND WE WANT TO SEE OUR WIVES' BODIES. AND MANY WOMEN DON'T FEEL GOOD ABOUT THEIR BODIES. AND THIS IS JUST-- NO MAN SHOULD EVER COMPARE HIS WIFE'S BODY TO ANY OTHER WOMAN. I MARRIED THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN ON THE EARTH, PERIOD. WHEN SHE'S 99 YEARS OLD, SHE WILL BE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN ON THE EARTH, PERIOD. AND I WILL NEVER COMPARE HER TO ANOTHER WOMAN, PERIOD. I WILL NOT COMPARE MY WIFE'S BODY TO ANYONE WHO HAS NOT PAID THE PRICE TO BEAR MY CHILDREN. AND SO-- [APPLAUSE] YOU SHOULDN'T LOOK AT OTHER WOMEN. YOU SHOULDN'T COMPARE YOUR WIFE TO ANY OTHER WOMAN. BUT MANY WOMEN COMPARE THEMSELVES AND THEY DON'T FEEL GOOD ABOUT THEMSELVES. BUT YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND, YOUR HUSBAND HAS THAT NEED. ANOTHER WAY THAT YOU MEET YOUR HUSBAND'S NEED FOR SEX IS BE MORE SEXUAL THAN YOU FEEL. SO LET ME REWIND HERE FOR JUST A MINUTE. IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW YOU FEEL. YOU BE SEXUAL. LET ME TALK ABOUT--LET ME TALK FOR JUST A MINUTE ABOUT MATCHING LIBIDOS. MATCHING LIBIDOS. OK. HAVING THE SAME SEX--BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE THINK, WELL, YOU KNOW, SEX, YOU HAVE SEX IN MARRIAGE WHEN YOU BOTH FEEL LIKE IT. [CHUCKLES] [LAUGHTER] YOU'LL HAVE SEX ABOUT 8 TIMES. AND... [LAUGHTER] MOST SEX IN MARRIAGE IS MEETING A NEED IN YOUR SPOUSE THAT YOU DON'T HAVE. AND IF YOUR WIFE IS MORE SEXUAL THAN YOU, YOU DO THAT FOR HER. YOU NEED TO MEET YOUR SPOUSE'S NEEDS. OTHERWISE YOU JUST LEAVE THEM TO THEIR NEEDS BEING UNMET, WHICH IS A VERY BAD THING. BE MORE SEXUAL THAN YOU FEEL. AND BE ENERGETIC AND CREATIVE IN MEETING YOUR HUSBAND'S NEED. VERY IMPORTANT. FUN AND FRIENDSHIP IS ANOTHER NEED THAT MEN HAVE. WE WANT TO BE--WE WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH OUR WIVES. I WANT KAREN TO BE MY FRIEND. I DON'T WANT TO BE MOTHERED. I WANT KAREN TO BE MY BUDDY. MEN WANT THEIR WIVES TO BE THEIR BEST FRIENDS. AND THAT MEANS COME OUT OF YOUR WORLD INTO HIS WORLD AND DON'T LOSE YOUR IDENTITY IN MOTHERING. I'M SURE YOU'RE A TERRIFIC MOTHER. BUT DON'T BECOME MATRONLY. AND DON'T LOSE YOUR IDENTITY IN BEING A MOTHER AND FORGET THAT YOU'RE ALSO HIS BUDDY. YOU NEED TO COME INTO HIS WORLD. I LOVE THE STORY THAT A PASTOR TOLD ABOUT A COUPLE IN HIS CHURCH, AND THEIR MARRIAGE WAS ON THE--REALLY IN A BAD STATE. AND THIS WOMAN WENT HUNTING WITH HER HUSBAND ONE DAY. SHE KNEW THAT HE LOVED TO DEER HUNT, AND SHE SAID, HONEY, I WANT TO GO DEER HUNTING WITH YOU. AND OF COURSE HE WAS A LITTLE WORRIED BECAUSE HE THOUGHT MAYBE SHE WANTED TO GET HIM ALONE WITH A FIREARM. AND, UH... [LAUGHTER] BUT WHAT SHE DID, SHE CAME OUT OF HER WORLD INTO HIS WORLD AND HEALED THEIR MARRIAGE. THEY WENT ON A HUNTING TRIP. LET ME SAY SOMETHING--YOUR HUSBAND WILL NEVER BE AS OPEN WITH YOU AS WHEN HE'S HAVING FUN WITH YOU. YOU'LL BE SITTING SOMEWHERE HAVING FUN, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU'LL FIND YOUR HUSBAND JUST OPENS UP. BECAUSE THAT'S THE WAY WE'RE WIRED. WHEN YOU'RE MY FRIEND, I'LL OPEN MY HEART TO YOU. UNTIL YOU'RE MY FRIEND, I DON'T KNOW. BECAUSE THAT'S ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT NEEDS I HAVE. YOU COME INTO MY WORLD AND YOU BE MY BUDDY. THAT'S WHAT I NEED FROM YOU. NUMBER 4, SUPPORT AT HOME. NOW LISTEN, MEN SHOULD DO THEIR EQUAL SHARE AT HOME. IS THAT, UM, I--MEN--HOUSEWORK, WHEN YOU GET HOME, YOUR JOB JUST STARTED, IT DIDN'T END. AT HOME, I VACUUM, I TAKE OUT THE TRASH, I FOLD CLOTHES, I DO LAUNDRY, I DON'T COOK FOR HEALTH AND SAFETY REASONS. [LAUGHTER] JUST BETTER IF I DON'T. BUT KAREN DOES NOT PICK UP AFTER ME. I MEAN, SHE DOES SOMETIMES, BUT I PICK UP AFTER MYSELF. I DON'T PUT THOSE BURDENS ON KAREN. AND, UH, BUT HERE'S WHAT I NEED FROM KAREN. WOMEN HAVE THE GIFT OF NESTING AND TURNING A HOUSE INTO A HOME. I HAD A COUPLE ONE TIME AND HE WAS AN INTERIOR DECORATOR. AND HE WOULD COME HOME AND SHE HAD NESTED, YOU KNOW, SHE HAD THE HOME--AND HE WOULD REDO IT. AND THEY WERE IN FOR COUNSELING. SHE WAS MAD. OH, SHE WAS MAD. AND SHE SAID, "NOW, I LIKE TO DO MY HOUSE. AND WHEN HE COMES HOME, HE REDOES IT." AND HE SAID, "BUT IT'S TECHNICALLY CORRECT." I SAID YOU'RE TECHNICALLY ABOUT TO GET KILLED. [LAUGHTER] SO... WELL, I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THAT TEACHING. I HOPE IT HELPED YOU. IT'S FROM MY "MARRIAGE ON THE ROCK" SEMINAR. IT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT SEMINAR THAT I DO. IT'S THE BIGGEST SEMINAR THAT I DO. IT'S ACTUALLY THE FIRST SEMINAR I EVER DID ON MARRIAGE, BUT WE JUST KEEP UPDATING IT. AND SO RIGHT NOW WE WANT TO GET THESE RESOURCES INTO YOUR HANDS. YOU JUST HEARD A SMALL PART OF THE FULL 10-PART SEMINAR SERIES. RIGHT NOW FOR YOUR GIFT OF ANY AMOUNT, WE WANT TO GET YOU "THE MOST IMPORTANT ISSUE IN MARRIAGE" SINGLE CD. AND SO--AND IT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ISSUE IN MARRIAGE. AND IT WILL BLESS YOU. ANY AMOUNT THAT YOU GIVE, WE'LL PUT THAT IN THE MAIL TO YOU. RIGHT NOW FOR YOUR GIFT OF $50 OR MORE, WE'LL SEND YOU THE FULL SEMINAR ON CD, PLUS MY "MARRIAGE ON THE ROCK" BOOK. NOW, THOUSANDS OF CHURCHES USE THESE IN THEIR CHURCHES, IN THEIR LIFE GROUPS. AND THOUSANDS OF BIBLE STUDIES ALL OVER THE WORLD TAKE PLACE WITH "MARRIAGE ON THE ROCK." IT TALKS ABOUT SEX, MONEY, CHILDREN, IN-LAWS, BLENDED FAMILIES, COMMUNICATION, ROLES IN MARRIAGE, HOW TO UNDERSTAND AND MEET YOUR SPOUSE'S NEEDS, THE 4 FOUNDATIONAL LAWS OF MARRIAGE, THE MOST IMPORTANT ISSUE IN MARRIAGE. THIS IS OUR BIGGEST AND BEST SEMINAR, AND WE WANT TO PUT THE FULL CD SERIES INTO YOUR HANDS AND THE BOOK FOR GIFT OF $50 OR MORE. AND LET ME TELL YOU, THAT'S A BARGAIN. AND FOR YOUR GIFT RIGHT NOW OF $110 OR MORE, FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE ABLE TO DO THAT, WE WANT TO SEND YOU THE 10-PART DVD SERIES ALONG WITH THE BOOK "MARRIAGE ON THE ROCK" AND ALSO OUR LITTLE BOOK "HAPPY, HAPPY LOVE." IT IS A FANTASTIC BOOK TO HELP YOU IN THE AREA OF ROMANCE, INTIMACY, JUST MAKING YOUR MARRIAGE MORE FUN, PUTTING THE SPARK BACK IN YOUR MARRIAGE. WE WANT TO PUT THESE RESOURCES INTO YOUR HANDS. HERE'S HOW YOU CAN GET THEM. ANNOUNCER: "MARRIAGE ON THE ROCK," THE BEST-SELLING BOOK AND SERIES, IS THE ESSENTIAL RESOURCE TO HAVING THE MARRIAGE OF YOUR DREAMS. THROUGH THIS POWER-PACKED SERIES, MARRIAGE EXPERT JIMMY EVANS WILL SHOW YOU HOW TO DEAL WITH REAL-LIFE CHALLENGES AND OFFER EASY-TO-UNDERSTAND SOLUTIONS THAT WILL TRANSFORM YOUR RELATIONSHIP. JIMMY WILL ADDRESS ALL THE MAJOR ISSUES A COUPLE WILL ENCOUNTER, LIKE COMMUNICATION, FINANCES, SEX, KIDS, HIS AND HER NEEDS, BLENDED FAMILIES, AND MUCH MORE. FOR YOUR GIFT OF ANY AMOUNT, YOU'LL RECEIVE THE CD SINGLE "THE MOST IMPORTANT ISSUE IN MARRIAGE." FOR YOUR GIFT OF $50 OR MORE, WE'LL SEND YOU THE "MARRIAGE ON THE ROCK" BOOK AND CD SERIES. FOR YOUR GIFT OF $110 OR MORE, YOU'LL RECEIVE THE BOOK AND DVD SERIES, PLUS THE PASSION-REIGNITING "HAPPY, HAPPY LOVE" BOOK. DISCOVER GOD'S DESIGN FOR YOUR DREAM MARRIAGE. WHETHER YOU'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR YEARS OR JUST PREPARING FOR THE JOURNEY, EXPERIENCE "MARRIAGE ON THE ROCK" TODAY. JIMMY: YOU KNOW, THIS PROGRAM TODAY IS ON MEN'S MOST IMPORTANT NEEDS. AND, YOU KNOW, WHEN WE GET MARRIED, KAREN, I THINK IT'S JUST NATURAL FOR US TO BASICALLY ASSUME THAT OUR SPOUSE SHOULD BE LIKE US. AND THEY'RE JUST NOT. AND MEN NEED RESPECT, THEY NEED SEX, THEY NEED FRIENDSHIP WITH THEIR WIFE, THEY NEED DOMESTIC SUPPORT. THOSE ARE THEIR MOST IMPORTANT NEEDS. AND WE CAN'T MEET THOSE NEEDS OURSELVES. AND SO THIS PROGRAM TODAY IS BASICALLY TO HELP WOMEN UNDERSTAND THAT THEIR HUSBANDS ARE DIFFERENT AND HOW TO UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCES IN THEIR HUSBAND AND TO MEET THEIR NEEDS. KAREN: AND NOT ONLY THAT, BUT I WAS THINKING, TOO, A WOMAN, I THINK WE HAVE A TENDENCY TO THINK THAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO READ MY MIND. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO READ WHAT I WANT. AND THE SAME GOES FOR, YOU KNOW, HOW YOU FEEL. YOU KNOW, YOU MAY NOT BE IN TOUCH WITH WHAT YOU REALLY NEED. AND SO SOMETIMES THESE TEACHINGS ARE GREAT FOR THE WIFE JUST TO GET THE MAN IN TOUCH TO THIS IS SOMETHING THAT'S IMPORTANT TO YOU. YOU KNOW, I NEED TO HONOR AND RESPECT YOU BECAUSE IT IS IMPORTANT. YOU KNOW, TO MEET YOUR SEXUAL NEEDS, TO DO THE FRIENDSHIP AND ALL THE THINGS THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO A MAN. YOU KNOW, AND SO, YOU KNOW, I LOVE THIS PROGRAM BECAUSE I THINK IT'S SO AWESOME THE WAY THAT A WOMAN CAN BRING A MAN OUT, THAT SHE CAN BRING VALUE TO A MAN. JUST SIMPLE THINGS. THEY'RE SO EASY. JIMMY: SIMPLE THINGS. AND THAT'S RIGHT. THE LITTLE THINGS MEAN A LOT. AND, YOU KNOW, TO SAY IN THIS--WE ALSO DO A PROGRAM FOR HUSBANDS TO UNDERSTAND THEIR WIVES' NEEDS. SO WE DON'T JUST, YOU KNOW, TALK TO THE WIVES ABOUT MEETING THEIR HUSBANDS' NEEDS. BUT YOU HAVE A QUESTION, KAREN--OR I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU FROM ONE OF OUR VIEWERS. AND IT SAYS... SO THIS--THIS GUY IS JUST KIND OF FEELING LIKE HE COMES IN SECOND TO THE KIDS. KAREN: THAT'S COMMON. IT'S VERY COMMON, BECAUSE I THINK AS A WOMAN YOU FEEL SO VALUED AND YOU FEEL SO RESPONSIBLE TO RAISE YOUR CHILDREN, NOURISH THEM, COMFORT THEM, BUT THOSE ARE THE SAME THINGS YOUR HUSBAND NEEDS, TOO. YOU KNOW, HE WANTS TO BE COMFORTED. HE NEEDS TO BE NOURISHED. HE NEEDS TO BE CARED FOR. JIMMY: AND HE COMES FIRST, BEFORE THE KIDS. KAREN: EXACTLY. AND SO IT'S NOT THAT WE WANT YOU NOT TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR CHILDREN, WE JUST DON'T WANT YOU TO DISCONNECT YOUR HEART FROM YOUR HUSBAND. YOU KNOW, I ALWAYS LIKE TO SAY, YOU KNOW, WHERE'S YOUR HEART? BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, IT'S ONE THING IF YOUR MIND'S THERE AND JUST YOU'RE GOING THROUGH THE ROUTINE OF FEEDING YOUR HUSBAND AND MEETING HIS SEXUAL NEEDS, BUT YET YOUR HEART'S NOT REALLY CONNECTED ANYMORE BECAUSE YOU'RE SO CONCERNED ABOUT THE KIDS AND WHAT THE KIDS NEED, AND THEY'RE PULLING ON YOU. AND SO, YOU KNOW, START OUT WITH SIMPLE THINGS. JUST LIKE WE SAID, IT'S SIMPLE. TAKE A NIGHT OUT ONCE A WEEK. AND PLAN A NIGHT JUST FOR YOUR HUSBAND. YOU KNOW, AND GET A BABYSITTER. GO OUT TO EAT. BUT YOU MAKE THE PLANS. SAYING, YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN TIRED THIS WEEK, BUT I WOULD MUCH RATHER BE WITH YOU AND SPEND TIME WITH YOU AND I NEED THAT. SAY--TELL HIM, I NEED TIME WITH YOU. AND I SAY--AND YOU'LL WIN. I MEAN, IT'S JUST A WIN-WIN SITUATION. JIMMY: WELL, AND, YOU KNOW, THE THING IS IS THAT THIS--WOMEN SOMETIMES THINK IN TERMS OF, WELL, THE KIDS NEED ME. THEY WON'T BE HERE FOREVER. HERE'S THE OTHER WAY TO SAY THAT. YOUR HUSBAND NEEDS YOU MORE. AND HOW ARE YOUR CHILDREN GONNA SUCCEED IN MARRIAGE WHEN YOU HAVEN'T SHOWN THEM HOW? WHEN YOU LAY YOUR MARRIAGE, BASICALLY, ON THE ALTAR OF YOUR CHILDREN'S WELL-BEING, YOUR CHILDREN ARE NOW LEARNING THAT THEY SHOULD DO THE SAME THING. AND WHEN YOUR CHILDREN LEAVE HOME, YOUR MARRIAGE IS RUINED. KAREN: WELL, AND BECAUSE WE DID IT RIGHT, OUR CHILDREN DO DO IT RIGHT. JIMMY: THEY DO IT RIGHT. KAREN: THEY WATCHED US DO IT, AND I'M AMAZED. THEY BOTH HAVE KIDS OR HAVE VERY BUSY SCHEDULES, BUT THEY ARE SO PRO-ACTIVE WITH THEIR OWN RELATIONSHIP. I MEAN, THEY MAKE DATE NIGHTS CONSISTENTLY. AND YOU CAN TELL. THEIR MARRIAGES ARE VERY, VERY GOOD. JIMMY: WE LOVED OUR CHILDREN, WE GAVE THEM--WE LOVED THEM THE WAY THAT WE SHOULD HAVE LOVED THEM, BUT WE PUT OUR MARRIAGE FIRST. THEY DO EXACTLY WHAT WE DID. AND IN OTHER WORDS, YOU'RE TRAINING YOUR CHILDREN HOW TO BE MARRIED. AND YOU SHOULD TRAIN YOUR CHILDREN, YOUR MARRIAGE COMES FIRST, YOUR CHILDREN COME AFTER THAT. LET ME TELL YOU, OUR CHILDREN DIDN'T LEAVE HOME SCARRED BECAUSE MOM AND DAD PUT THEIR MARRIAGE FIRST. THEY LEFT HOME HEALED AND THEY LEFT HOME WITH A VISION OF HOW TO DO THEIR MARRIAGE. AND SO, MAYBE YOU'RE MAKING A MISTAKE RIGHT NOW, BUT I'M SAYING TO THE LADIES, YOUR HUSBAND COMES FIRST. AND YOU NEED TO RESPECT HIM. YOU NEED TO--AND THE CHILDREN ARE GONNA LEAVE HOME. KAREN: WELL, AND THE CHILDREN LOVE SEEING PARENTS ENJOYING EACH OTHER. THERE BRINGS NO MORE SECURITY TO A CHILD THAN SEEING A HUSBAND AND WIFE LOVING OF EACH OTHER, PAYING ATTENTION TO EACH OTHER. IT GIVES THAT CHILD SECURITY. JIMMY: ABSOLUTELY. YOU KNOW, IT IS SO IMPORTANT IN WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW, FOR WOMEN TO UNDERSTAND THAT YOU'RE NOT GETTING PICKED ON. THIS IS NOT SOMETHING THAT IS JUST TRUE FOR YOU. WOMEN HAVE DIFFERENT NEEDS THAN MEN. AND MEN HAVE DIFFERENT NEEDS THAN WOMEN. THAT'S WHY WE DO THESE PROGRAMS. AND WHAT WE WANT TO HELP YOU TO UNDERSTAND IS WHEN YOU COME OUT OF YOUR WORLD AND YOU STOP TRYING TO FORCE YOUR SPOUSE TO SEE THINGS FROM YOUR PERSPECTIVE, BUT YOU BEGIN TO SEE THINGS FROM THEIR PERSPECTIVE. IN A MAN'S WORLD, WE THINK IN TERMS OF, DOES SHE RESPECT ME? DOES SHE ACCEPT MY SEXUALITY? AND IS SHE COMMITTED TO MEETING MY SEXUAL NEEDS? IS SHE MY FRIEND? BEFORE SHE'S EVERYBODY ELSE'S FRIEND, IS SHE MY FRIEND? AND IS SHE GOING TO SUPPORT ME AT HOME? AND I'M GONNA BE A PARTNER IN THAT. IS SHE GOING TO SUPPORT ME AT HOME? WHEN A MAN FEELS THOSE 4 THINGS, HIS WORLD IS COMPLETE. HE FEELS SUCH AN AFFINITY TOWARD HIS WIFE. AND THEN WOMEN HAVE THE NEED FOR SECURITY, FOR OPEN AND HONEST COMMUNICATION, FOR SOFT NON-SEXUAL AFFECTION, AND FOR LEADERSHIP. AND A MAN SHOULD MEET HER NEEDS ALSO. THANK YOU, GUYS, FOR JOINING US TODAY. LET ME SAY, THERE'S SOME INFORMATION ON YOUR SCREEN THERE ABOUT HOW YOU CAN SUPPORT US FINANCIALLY. WE'RE A MINISTRY, WE'RE A MISSION TO REACH YOU, BUT TO REACH MANY OTHERS LIKE YOU ACROSS AMERICA, AROUND THE WORLD. WE'RE BROADCAST INTO OVER 110 MILLION HOMES IN NORTH AMERICA EVERY DAY, MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY, AND INTO OVER 200 COUNTRIES WORLDWIDE. PLUS, WE HAVE OVER 100 RESOURCES. WE HAVE OUR WEBSITE, WE HAVE EVENTS. WE RESOURCE THOUSANDS OF CHURCHES IN OUR SMALL GROUPS. WE'RE REACHING LITERALLY ALL OVER THE WORLD TO HELP PEOPLE BUILD MARRIAGES THAT ARE SUCCESSFUL, TO HELP LITTLE CHILDREN STAY TOGETHER WITH THEIR PARENTS IN A SECURE FAMILY, AND HELP TO CHANGE OUR SOCIETY. OUR SOCIETY IS CRUMBLING BECAUSE MARRIAGE IS UNDER ATTACK. WE'RE RAISING A STANDARD. WE'RE ASKING YOU IF YOU WOULD TO STAND WITH US FINANCIALLY. YOU CAN SEND IT IN THE MAIL, YOU CAN CALL US, YOU CAN GO ON OUR SECURE WEBSITE. PLEASE GIVE YOUR MOST GENEROUS GIFT AT THIS TIME. THANK YOU FOR JOINING US TODAY. GOD BLESS YOU. GOOD-BYE. Thank you for watching MarriageToday. 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