Watching *DORA AND THE LOST CITY OF GOLD* Until I Lose My Mind

who allowed Dora to have a live-action adaptation hmm who was it who signed off so many good properties that have yet to be adapted and we chose an explorer from Spain or Mexico I don't know I'm not up on the Lord why am I so mad I don't know maybe the fact that my air conditioning won't turn on and also I started cutting my own hair earlier I have no experience with this whatsoever and that scares me it's a nice stopped look at just looking look at this little look what I'm gonna do you know what I'm gonna defy gravity I am magnificent because I can defy gravity what are you doing here lay down you know what half you know what fall in line fall in line okay this is what you get ah take that hair I'm gonna regret this tomorrow oh my god are you gay are you kidding me we're in a recession YouTube okay I have the choice of either getting high-definition or ultra high-definition how can I make fun of the monkey CGI if I'm just looking at it in high definition alright alright let's do it let's do it $21 love it oh Jesus Christ they're gonna try to make it look fancy Nickelodeon but you and I both know your work is not to be respected everything you're about to see is true except that foxes don't swipe [Music] of course you are why do I feel like this is a misdirect I thought this was like a little bit edgy [Music] this can't be it yes I knew it is that a desperate housewife he's a good actor too he was good in something I don't know what but I remember thinking he's good in this in something mmm can you say delicioso Ted do is well say belly feel so do it I can't do it goddamn it Dora don't challenge me like this on the spot my god she'll grow out of it are they trying to present Dora as like a little child psychopath because I could get behind this if she murders her family I'll be so excited Dora explores sociopathy Dora explores the inside of a human body featuring her family oh do you see intestines has golden statues do they not have windows you're in a jungle what if you're attacked by a [ __ ] leopard what bro they just let him slow it there's gotta be like malaria sceetos mosquitoes mosquitoes with malaria carriers I don't know how to phrase those I don't that the words you know all the words you put them together in the right order okay mosquitoes with malaria give the kids malaria because the carriers mosquitos you know the words okay you do the work they don't even have [ __ ] doors my god what irresponsible parents Jaguars are way cooler monkey facts oh I'm onboard with Diego Jaguars best animal period and yes part of that is because I'm a fan of the Jacksonville Jaguars the football team but also if you've looked into the history of Jaguars pretty remarkable third biggest cat and pound for pound the strongest cat they have the strongest bite they can climb trees they can swim show me a tiger that can climb a tree you can't Tigers I know better I'm older than you I think you're just yelling at me because you're sad you're leaving of course that's fine I'm yelling at you Oh hoo children are not emotionally aware you're 6 that's deep emotional reasoning these are little children therapist me I'm FEMA wait what are you Spanish speakers can we accent yo tambien Prima yeah preman bien holy [ __ ] they let a monkey sleep with their daughter as a joke here this is gonna get a little dirty and a little dark just imagine Dora's 18 this isn't about child daughter do you think if mmm if the parents caught the monkey having sex with 18 year old Dora do you think they'd go high what's this monkey business let's move on he's got to be carrying diseases don't let him sleep with your child ah yes finally so what is she 18 no can I make it dull jokes I wish she got trampled to death hi I'm Dora can you say pick me up holding poison can you say severe neurotoxicity nurse I couldn't say your first word stop challenging me Dora I'm not smart thank God Oh No take it away I'm gonna carry him away and eat them all these almost deaths are pissing me off can you kill her please I won't know anyone there why is that's a goddamn snake I miss you guys so much ah jegos gonna be too cool for her I hope he's too cool for her you are way more energetic than I remember be a moody teen hey don't alter your character from what my expectations are what is that the candy bar that we split before you left the jungle remember oh I just want you to have a good first day he cares well if I don't talk to you don't take a person oh okay I'll just why high schools ah attaboy Disher what is this a flare in case of emergency damn it damn it don't laugh I could tell by his haircut that he's them love interest I'm pissed I'm [ __ ] pissed god dammit Dora why him Dora Explorer you're dating options not this guy guy guy though let me help let me help beat headphones how much did they pay you I know they've chipped in 50k minimum you don't accidentally put products into your movies you cover them up and make them pay you and if they don't pay you then you don't give it to it for free because then the next time you make a movie they wouldn't pay you they'd just be like no let's just not pay them and then then they'll just do it for free again but if you're going to take a shot at the Queen you better not miss I'm watching you they're gonna be friends by the end of this bed on it all they're slow children on the streets can you identify the slow child on the street hi I feel the need to explain myself because that joke is funny to me but it's only funny to me because only I was stupid enough not to understand something do you know that sign that slow children sign to me I always thought that that and that there were mentally handicapped children present on this street and you need to slow down because they may unpredictably run into the streets but no that's not what that sign meant it means that slow down there are children present children of all mental capacities but there's no comma there's no comma after slow so when I see slow children I just assume that there are children with less mental faculties present I is this not hard to understand all my life that sign meant one thing and then all of a sudden it just clicks what happened there decided to leave it in though because it's funny that I'm stupid our parents aren't responding to her all they teach her I would too now her parents were missing she's got to go find them and rescue them not hard to figure out because I am professional movie watcher that's the reason you didn't figure that out I know you didn't know that can't really dance too but I can hold my breath for seven minutes though [Music] if she turns everybody to do the same dances that she's doing and she conquers this high school I don't know what I'll do I'll probably chop off some more of my hair because it's starting to make me feel a little crazy it was hard enough already without having to take care of the class weirdo goddammit Diego her [ __ ] parents are missing oh my god if these four end up in the jungle together I can't I can't I really can't oh I can't with these do you know how to make this film better I'll do it right now do you see what I did there I made it better of course this is happening oh can you say that again I couldn't quite get that of course this is happening do you guys know what he's saying of course this is happening I wish that he would be a little bit more audible speaking of which I got something to tell you guys this video is sponsored by audible he watched me for any length of time you know that I've worked with audible in the past I loved the service that they provide just hours and hours of entertainment scores of audiobooks just an incredible library and of course if you use my code audible.com slash Dillon is in trouble there will be a link for it in the description you will get a 30-day free trial and one cool thing that audible is doing is that they are not opening up their audible originals to unlimited downloads a month that is on top of one free audiobook every single month a friend of mine actually just hit me up about this book called the rage of dragons him and I are gonna do a buddy listen on that apparently the the original author was self-published on that book and then it did so well that a publisher picked it up and now it's now it's an audiobook and I want to listen to it again it's audible.com slash Dillon is in trouble I love working with audible he's genuinely a really good service they just have so much entertainment and it's entertainment that you can consume in the background so you don't have to always be like super focused on it you can be cleaning your house cleaning your car they've really cornered the cleaning entertainment market in my mind to fake shout-out to audible thank you so much now let's get back to Dora exploring things my gosh could you be any here excuse me what's next shrill our my being too difficult for you we left that out of your misogyny 101 class oh my god don't I'm mister I'm just gonna unwrap this they're trying to make this girl unlikable right let's want blur her face you know look at how unlikable she is they tried to make her the I'm gonna make you out to be a misogynist so that we disliked her and this is a kids movie so they're trying to tell kids that men are not misogynist if they think a woman is bossy which I don't know how what to do with that information usually children's movies in Hollywood are very like progressive to have the current villain of the story say that is so fascinating I'm not gonna provide any commentary on it I'm just gonna put it out there for you to consume I just wanted to point at it you do the looking and you do the judging I'm not taking any backlash for anything that I'm saying I cannot be held responsible for the things that I say I have already gotten the monkey sex thing and there was a child involved I am at my limit of controversy for this video anything Egyptian would be the oldest relic by far oh I don't I don't like this I don't like this you were looking at the Egyptian like okay sometimes people in the comment section and I want to say sometimes I mean a lot of times people in the comment section they say Dylan you're so good at knowing movies you're so good look at all my comment section that's always the top comment every single video watch the shots just watch how your eye is drawn to this random lady we don't know if she's gonna have a speaking role yet watch see she makes eye contact with the main character and she's like the focus of the shot you know that she's gonna have some sort of minor role but also input she's gonna like propel the story just for the shots you can tell this is why the camera work when does it open oh that's the problem two weeks look if it means that much to you there may be a way for you to get down there I'm this woman's a villain this woman's a villain I had to turn the ceiling fan on you know she's waking at us look at the wig on this woman's face you know it you know it I know it you know it if this woman's not a villain then I am NOT a professional movie watcher that's not be some wild goose chase I sure hope it is I love chasing wild geese I was gonna make the [ __ ] geese joke I just couldn't think of it goddamn it Dora she's gonna be kidnapped or something hola Dora hi I'm Dora and they're villains hey I guess the children's movie I shouldn't be this excited but [ __ ] it yeah I'll take your victories already you can have him you know oh oh no no I knew that was coming - I just didn't say it yet I felt the connection between them but in a really gross way man I would rather him get with the monkey don't worry I'm a friend of your pants been risking do Dora that's how you decided the show that the truck was coming to an abrupt halt ah hit the brakes really you go in three miles an hour that was the fastest stop you guys are powerful brake pads on that goddamn truck don't trust this man by the way don't trust this man either this is this is what children movies think third [ __ ] denial smart children they're like oh we have our set villains and then we have a new guy but he says he's a friend he must be a friend because we already have the villains but he's a different villain that'll all be revealed in the third act I I'm ahead of your movie or I'm not a professional movie watcher you are a real friend of the parents he would have been introduced before let me finish that thought if you were a real friend he would have been introduced before all this plot started right they wouldn't just introduce some saving her right they would come out of nowhere that would make no sense also you can't just is this Fox bring gloves and a mask he doesn't pretty eyes though hey Swiper you can swipe right on me there's dirtier ones that I wish I would have done Swiper you can swipe my virginity my bestiality virginity that's too far oh she's a / cruel queen oh my god did I just fall in love with Dora she just did parkour on the level of a black belt how our parkour masters they have belts that doesn't seem right that's a that's a karate thing upside down why did I feel a little bit racist the Fox is just a fox and he's just speaking regularly and then all of a sudden he's like I stock upside down upside down wow that felt really racist and a fox with a mask like why does that fox need to remain anonymous who is going to recognize one specific box hmm Dora's got good comedic timing the parents have good comedic timing this lady does not your parents and I were in constant contact during their time here No did you see his bandana he's a [ __ ] he's a gangster I don't believe don't believe anything he says hello can you please come and get us one at the corner of rain and forest her family symbol red circle there's no need to overreact that would have been funnier if he got his voice up higher like that I've got one of those red loops who calls it a loop it's the circle you psychopath I thought a red loop see how they rushed it no pointed out to me how is it look rushed [Music] yes yes oh no this is his backpack he's fine home I want to be staring at my phone and in I am taking a buzzy coffee beverage I hear those people that just shy arrows at you scream loud so they can come find you good idea you know what I'm actually not angry because I literally want this girl to die gout sometimes it's really okay the only finger dogs [Music] just can you show a motion on your face you know an actor is good when they're not saying anything they're just saying with their eyes and this man just he looks dead inside I think he's supposed to be feeling something right here with the the music swelling I guess he did a little thing with his mouth like actually I'm here now boy getting yelled at scary of irresponsible how uncomfortable can you make somebody you know what I have a story I'll keep it brief so when I was in Los Angeles I was like it would be a wasted opportunity if I didn't go to some auditions so I went to one audition I was playing like the friend of the main character that was the role at least and I had a line and then he had a line and I couldn't say my next line and so he said his line in the middle so I said something like the days are getting long and then his character he was staring out at the sea because we were stranded on an island and he just stared and I just was like bro say your [ __ ] line it was at least 30 seconds and I'm just revving up preparing to say my next line and he just won't say it and I'm so uncomfortable I didn't know where to look after I look at his face do I look out at this fictional sea which is just the the people watching our performance because that's uncomfortable I don't know where to look so I just stared at his face I'm like bro let's move this scene along watch Diego here he's gonna say his thing and then he's gonna stare like I did as an amateur actor on his first audition ever actually I'm here now boy getting yelled he's just waiting for her next line look at this psychopath he's like Saint Saint bro the eye contact is a little too intense and please don't ever say the word mating again yeah especially now with the monkey around we know you've shared a bed [Music] shut the [ __ ] up you're being trailed by two different peoples who want to kill you I ate the frijoles and chimichangas [Applause] will it be a children's movie that some extended fart jokes God oh you gotta love it I gotta love it they kind of look like siblings I can picture their babies they look just like them spread your genetics don't touch anything bro go around.if touching something is dangerous I don't know you're gonna touch it - yes oh she's tripping haha did a grown man just throw his his pants into a child's face sometimes the songs the best idea did I not save the friend thing they be friends by the end of this my lips feel chapped don't look at them don't look at my lips don't look at my lips hey hey stop yeah that's what I thought oh great now we're stuck in a hole and what point do you stop complaining no point are you just like okay this is our situation now can somebody please tell me what's going on where's the villain where's the bad guy they didn't show the guy yet you sent him you to my journal was stolen days before the expedition oh this is alpha leader oh oh there's our shocker but you can't get inside it's impenetrable [Laughter] nothing's impenetrable ask them monkey oh holy nightmare so just shut up shock this man is just not good for this role he's not over-the-top enough for a children's movie how is has not been discovered it's real it's so big you should be able to catch it from satellite or something look up it's a whole city [Music] not a kid but you're not a grown-up either Dora why is this voice so deep can't do it by yourself good news your friends you have friends what's just talking to me maybe she hit her head I'm guarding would you stop singing this way it's unprofessional how we get past him so there are talking animals they can understand the Fox and they could talk to the Fox and say stop singing they're surprised when Dora's like oh the monkey talked I don't I what is the logic here must be a way to open the gates from the outside park or up it that's what I would do constellations classic us again this is littering much this is a ancient sacred temple maybe just pocket back yes stop thousand pounds of stone [Music] it's so boring when you know no one's gonna die just sacrifice one of them and I'll take everything more seriously make an offering of that which is most revered thanks for getting through the tough stuff for me I see the offering I think he's gonna die they want to offer it I knew that you would follow us in here and I knew that you would let us take all the risk for you I knew the final inca test would carry dire consequences for those who should fail a which is why we are over here and you well you're standing right there did we all just see what happened there Dora literally sacrificed oh my god Dora I love you I'm in love with Dora it wasn't accidental no no no she knew that the floor was gonna cave out and kill him and that he would be the sacrifice she sacrificed this man's life Dora skilled a person this is the greatest I I was not expecting this I always crave death in children's movies and not any of that he accidentally falls to his death this is Dora planning this man's death oh no god damn it I literally just lost my [ __ ] praising you and you just I wish she was in more of this movie he's funny [Music] excuse me [Music] [Music] better than looking the actions going on like straight ahead and they're just like so if you just touch the monkey statue the whole building collapses I why would they even set an architecture structure like that up okay I guess even touching that thing can cause sweater storms what what well I can reverse time to look I know we weren't exactly friends when this trip started but I like you too yeah what he said friends girl what if he's like hey a sexual assault I did not ask for that I did not consent to that Oh up Bette Bette okay let's make one last prediction the parents are gonna be like you know what it was a mistake to split you up and make you go to the States come back and be an explorer with us and she's gonna say nope I want to go with my friends and live in the States [ __ ] bet otherwise I am NOT a professional movie what sir we're going back into the jungle in a few weeks and we'll be gone for a few months no contact in your mom and you and you [ __ ] calls it we're halfway there we are halfway there baby about that I think I want to go back to the city indigenous you're a [ __ ] joke to me movie you are a joke to me you [ __ ] amateur hour here bro what am i watching what am I watching if they're joined if they're joined by the student body that was the one thing that was the literal one and only thing that I can remember don't point out any other things that I missed but that was the one big thing that was like I thought that it was gonna happen I thought she was gonna turn the school to her side unless she was gonna conquer the school now she's doing it it's just the post-credit thing I gotta get the movie props for getting this many extras though a lot of times when they're out like a high school dance it's never near the normal amount of kids that like at an actual school dance this isn't quite organized enough look at this look at this shot everyone is just doing something different this is not choreographed very well another big thank you to audible for sponsoring this video audible.com slash Dillon is in trouble a friend and I are gonna be listening to the radio dragons so if you guys want to listen as well follow along let me know what you guys think of it that's gonna wrap this one up I hope you enjoyed it I love you guys I hope you take care you can kind of see the booty can't you [Music]

Channel: Dylan Is In Trouble

Views: 1,625,956

Keywords: dora, the, explorer, dylan, lost, city, of, gold, dora and the lost city, dora and the lost city of gold, nickelodeon, disney, trailer, review, reaction, movie, full, full movie, soundtrack, ending

Id: swnDpRITA80

Length: 28min 48sec (1728 seconds)

Published: Wed May 27 2020