Grown Man Tries Watching "Bratz: The Movie" (why do I do this to myself?)

I already hate this so much dog I couldn't even make it through the trailer how am I gonna get through an hour and a half trailers to Millie I couldn't even get through one full minute of the trailer Oh No oh hello troublemakers and welcome back to another movie commentary Monday last week I asked you guys to recommend me bad movies cuz when I started the series it was until I hate myself when I watch things just until you know I couldn't stomach it anymore so I'm watching intentionally bad things and I wanted to get back to my roots kind of forgot that my roots were awful for me at least I think it makes good content where I just roast the living hell out of something but I have to literally sit through an hour and a half of a bad movie and now on top of that going edits the whole thing which is like another I don't know 15 25 hours somewhere in that range so I had to live with this movie for more than one full day yikes alright ma'am what we gotta lose beside my sanity and my taste and my reputation okay there's a lot at stake here this movie could literally be the downfall of my channel I think the very worst thing about this whole thing is the fact that I literally have to pay to see this thing that I hate it's tag this family like this movies for the whole family but I would argue it's the opposite watching this movie is gonna make me want to never have kids and bring them into a world where this movie exists this isn't family this is anti-family Jesus dog [ __ ] yeah what the [ __ ] is this what the [ __ ] is this this is what they put in front of like blockbuster movies this high quality Lionsgate animation why is that in front of brats dog that's what you put in front of like a Harry Potter or some [ __ ] you know I'm so into this already okay look at that font I am out of this you picked the worst font Dawg these are not movie funds no and it's pink yeah yike that's a biggie Ike's that's a triple yikes you how old are you dawg how big is that alarm it's bigger than your [ __ ] head I've never seen it alarm clock that big in my life also how old are you look fuzzy boots girl how old why is there's fuzzies on your lamp to grow the oh my god grow up girl okay this girl is an adult not matter this girl's an adult she's got like a globe and [ __ ] a telescope my favorite character right here miss sports girl I'm in my dad's house joint custody what can I say Oh complex family dynamic what is this could this movie actually have Depp [Music] have a seat dog you have a secret room inside your closet and what's in there a sewing machine do you keep like an eight-year-old child worker like sewing you up Nikes and [ __ ] why would you why would that be secrets well there be a secret room and your parents built a [ __ ] house did they not know about the room is it like a Narnia to them just pull on a shoe and a dog oh yes hey Dom that's me down you tell my sister [Music] why is there an entire mariachi band in her house Oh God movie has cultures a mariachi band took a lot doing business with you where are you putting that chocolate girl it's gonna melt you're gonna have brown titties what would I do without you are you that [ __ ] stupid you don't know what I heard dad doesn't know how to operate a toaster and he has an earring dawg you you've been making some poor choices why can't the two of you just talk to each other I bet they end up back together they're getting back together by the end of this hahaha [ __ ] I hate that I already know that that's going to happen for a fact it's not like oh yeah this reminds me of my first day of high school where entire bands just [ __ ] played in the parking lot coming into school before you go you have mathletes science club come on and Filan not overbearing Asian parents who expects too much of her child we really going for the stereotype son right so the black girl has a broken up family the Asian mom expects her a child to do so much academically the spanic girl has a mariachi band in her kitchen when she wakes up what are we missing was the what was the other one she's here oh and then a white girl who is sharp a to a tee pink [ __ ] bike it's a big school it's the first day or just freshman why are there multiple mimes okay together there was to watch this okay so there's one there right here in the stripes there's two there's two minds how how many minds who dresses is in mind on your first day school where is this oh how is this man okay okay I kind of stopped pausing it's just prolonging this movie for freshman girls just take the world by storm shut your [ __ ] mouth and never open it again are you in the right room you could have passed me like science you have hair extensions she's a genius she's a hot genius because why wouldn't she be yeah cuz that's how science works you were seriously superior we would be honored to have you as a member of our you are so much smarter than the rest of us we will be honored to have you in our club would you like to join our club she's gonna revolutionize the dance team or the cheerleading squad you've got something better oh you know I do where did they get these cast members dawg you bring it girl I brought it nailed it lent it to my friends can sister and I brought it back while you were still figuring out the beat what she a sports legend I hate that they're all [ __ ] prodigies that was so unnecessary was so clearly not the actress skier her face if you're gonna give her a stunt double not bad okay I can't without a rebound for that I literally made this movie five seconds longer and I hate myself for it it's very good why is that there's been like eight montages in the first ten minutes they've had more montages in this first 15 minutes than any movie has ever had in their entire movie no but I'm deaf I'm deaf don't sound dad well you don't look ignorant but I guess you can't judge a book right what a [ __ ] what's this music Wow Wow really drive it home like that was like the biggest mistake of her life is the world's smallest Jersey dog did you get her a kid sighs what is this Jersey that's not gonna fit her I have journalism smile movie is moving at a lightning pace feel like I've been watching this for an hour and a half already it's been 18 minutes shopping together remember remember the script we do next week mad double chin dog told what what the [ __ ] tool year what is this time jump okay this movie's got me hooked now what the [ __ ] two years they're all separated now they're coming back together okay are the lyrics of the song I won't be late to school because I really care about it okay well that's clearly not the actress you need a stunt double to ride a moped Jesus dog how hard is it to learn to ride a moped they really put no efforts they gave him no [ __ ] on this movie I don't blame him that girl looks like a budget brie Larson why are they playing so many [ __ ] songs dog we're 22 minutes in this has got to be the seventh song and I'm not joking I think this is song number seven who [ __ ] is this rich whose house her dad's the principal and she's this rich how well the principal's get paid her mom must be the breadwinner what kind of like super successful woman has ever married a principal whoa dog oh he's the deaf kid all this time I thought you just some cool job do dude stop with the [ __ ] music establish the scene and your characters before you start with the dramatic music all this time I thought you were a jock didn't know you had emotions I don't even know who these people are allow me to stereotype them and then you can call the stereotypes out you have to show me then he's a jock what has he done to be a jock he's deaf oh yeah cuz all deaf people are Josh the vibrations what he's gonna be a deaf DJ he doesn't know what he's playing he just knows how they vibrate he knows when there's bass but there's more to being a DJ than no there's not actually he could conceivably do it just play songs with a lot of bass I'm Cameron please don't fall and throw your tray movie I will forgive a lot of your sins if she does not fall and throw her tray upward if she drops her tray fine I'll forgive that even [Music] why are we still here just suffer [Music] nice kill one of the girls please no smash there Scullin please oh my god detention Oh No why are you standing on the [ __ ] table back there can you explain what you're doing up there daddy's bank account only because you don't have a dad or bank account stop it you don't have a dad did you just hit her with that what happened to us oh this is like how are we only a third of the way through this I feel like I've spirit this is the whole movie the friends conquered high school they grew apart and now they're coming back together they're resolving their differences two years later how is the movie not over after this what are we what is left I can't seem to look at this how I feel about the movie hey did you guys get it they're Hispanic did you guys forget cuz they're Hispanic Sasha Jade and Chloe we're a team again how can none of these girls axe barges no shoes why do you keep putting shoes in brown paper bags they come and [ __ ] shoe box just give her the shoe box why didn't you take him out of the shoe box and put him into a brown paper bag it's a thing in your life that you're really amazing at but you hide it from the world so people look and she's probably the best actress uh before I'll give her credit Dylan are you kidding say my name he hates me I do hate you stop stop why couldn't they be in unison there but why are they bombing in such obvious situations [ __ ] it you Oh [ __ ] hell [Music] she did she not speak does she have a quota for Albany lines she can have in this movie and she already hit them that coiler he's like the anime kid I had the power of God and anime on my side extra points one two three she literally had to teach them six plus one plus 2/3 she literally had to teach them nine divided by three I get it football players might not be the smartest they're not the brightest bulbs but [ __ ] hate this guy I hate this guy so much and I don't know why I think it's his hair she's like a soccer legend just like a super prodigy and he's teaching her how to kick a soccer ball if he gets hit in the balls I can't afford to buy anything new you guys need to go without me I mean it I have to guilt certificates one for my mom and one for my dad and now the [ __ ] is a guilt certificate horse isn't all that bad divorce isn't all that bad because your parents will give you money to buy your love and affection yeah [ __ ] is a guilt certificate did they hand it to you saying this is a guilt certificate if I ever do something bad you just spend this and love me again dog you are terrible parents don't go they don't give this soccer girl any lines then trust me it's not worth it why does she not speak say something okay say something yes are we gonna act like this guys [ __ ] daredevil and he could you just touch things and just know like this like how they would sound that's not how it works that's not how sound works just because you can feel the vibration doesn't mean you know how the sound is MA what the [ __ ] she's talking one Cuchillo d Oh burning up oh [ __ ] oh she's high she's high on crack look how pale she is this woman is an annex okay a couple hours dammit yo she's erratic da she is not it's not a fever that is a withdrawal oh oh wow what's wrong it's her dealer hahaha I never leave home without it are they really gonna make up kid what they're gonna turn into sexy clowns [Music] this is probably the weirdest montage I've ever seen four clowns giving each other makeovers she's riding in on an elephant your dad's a principal how did you import a [ __ ] elephant to your party I wouldn't want to have to fight your mother yeah how would she support her drug addiction a very beautiful girl a cupcake you're a good dad thank you to be sure what was that scene can we just recap that whole scene we got this energising party's going on [Music] song starts to fade we get a shot of the dad and the daughter by themselves and as the first songs fading the second song fades up and it's like a dramatic we're gonna get a seminal emotional moment here and then he's like you look great even though you're dressed as a gladiator but tonight don't let any one kid you and then she's like you're a good dad because he's like you look good as a clown her dad said that to her and she's like you're a good dad and the scenes over chobe thank you and the scenes over you gotta build characters you can't just throw [ __ ] around like this [Applause] [Music] [Applause] koruna death yes but honestly that brought so much joy into my life the idea of an elephant crushing her to death on camera it kind of makes me worry like it was like a dark part of my heart and that scares me a little bit but at the same time that was the most exhilaration I felt in really a long time so you're saying if I'm not a part of your clique come off the squad think about it you either need to spend more time with us we need to cut you from the roster how does that make any sense I'm afraid that's not up to me you had a real chemistry Jay shut the [ __ ] up I want to punch that dude so hard we had a real chemistry did it because we both like science [ __ ] you bro the winner gets a scholarship know anyone who might need that Chloe why would she need a scholarship oh because the mom spent all the money on drugs bats watch how did you get that throaty [ __ ] I hurt my throat saying it why is there more - what is this directors obsession with mimes put aside all your differences and made it work maybe one day you and Mom will do the same thing yeah me i'm job' on the town show and yasmin delete my number from yourself and okay mine too yeah delete my number drawer than our friends again how do you pack the same plot into this one movie twice do you literally did this plot one time and then you fixed it and you're like Alice's do it again why aren't you girls getting ready che look hiya [ __ ] look at her hair she's hi maybe something's wrong with her she needs to try some crackers I have something to tell you guys forgot your window what the [ __ ] it's like High School Musical that's how they resolved it trifle and came to her window yeah I got enough exercise just pushing my luck I want to beat the [ __ ] out of this kid [Music] appalled father why does this well we have to end with the [ __ ] performance well I kind of just end like a normal movie girl signed up they deserved a right to perform he's right oh please I know the rules but thanks that's how the mom and dad get back together he's right he's right wait a second you disagree with me I'm so attracted to you once more this one's for you [ __ ] you [ __ ] you that was horrible we got that everyone who recommended this movie [ __ ] you [Music] mariachi what are you doing it you can't just play from the crowd mr. Hoff perform it's just work I sneeze everywhere minds stop I'm feeling a pain in the right side of my body I might be having a heart attack my heart is giving out they never work out their differences not they'll kiss him and the winner is it's a tie I'd like to present the golden hatchet to Meredith back to dimness the scholarship goes to the brat is that work so the winner of the talent show gets a scholarship but this is a tie the principal's it's like all right well one team gets a scholarship the other gets a [ __ ] hatchet it's a fair trade like $60,000 worth of scholarship [ __ ] unusable hatchet Vice President MTV Networks great show why does MTV executive wearing sunglasses indoors just the classic of a business executive I don't take my sunglasses up you four girls whoa you have got superstar written all over you hey we're having a movie premiere next Saturday night how would you girls like to be the featured act on the red carpet fantastic [ __ ] you two words duh I come back to life heart I don't feel it beating anymore guys this movie this movie killed me [Music] the [ __ ] am i watching were the other girls your girls she brats now what is this what am i watching dog where are the other girls did she go solo what the [ __ ] kids come from I don't care I don't care are we done thank God that is over until I hate myself we need a new title for this series because I hit that moment he was like four minutes in and I was there all right salt [ __ ] this movie [ __ ] everyone associated with it normally when I finish a movie I feel the need to like talk about a couple of things whether it be things I liked things I hated it this movie I've forgotten it I literally ejected it from my brain I don't remember anything that happen in this movie I'm being serious right now if you ask me what happened in this movie I would not be able to tell you all I remember is there was a curly hair guy and a deaf guy I don't recall a single [ __ ] thing that happened they played music haha yo this is like a superpower I think this movie like traumatized me so deeply that I've literally repressed it after it happened I'm not sure I watched this movie last week I asked for recommendations you guys came through by delivering this awful awful awful movie I'll go back to the list of movies that I have don't recommend don't recommend let me just be clear do not recommend even last week I wanted to know like what jokes you guys like best and things about the movie and my commentary anything you guys had to say but there weren't any like comments like that because everyone's just recommending things because I asked for it obviously it's that one's not Dillon but yeah tell me tell me your favorite joke of the video just hit the Bratz movie that's the best you just the whole yeah I like knowing what you guys liked about my video though so yeah head down the conversation tell me something you know what I love you guys and I will see you next week [Music]

Channel: Dylan Is In Trouble

Views: 2,217,944

Keywords: bratz, dylan, movie, review, reaction, netflix, trailer, full movie, bratz full movie, bratz songs, bratz movie, commentary

Id: Jc2OIuUc5XU

Length: 26min 24sec (1584 seconds)

Published: Sun Mar 10 2019