[Music] [Applause] hello and welcome to was it something I said the panel show that celebrates quotations in all their forms both the spoken and the written word for instance Tony Blair once said some people would like me to retire but I never will adding that was 11 words that'll cost you 11 hundred dollars Oh Micky Flanagan steam is Canadian comedian Katherine Ryan and with Richard I awadi is British comedian Bob Mortimer we're to read our quotations is someone who once said of the Dalai Lama we share a passion of boxing we used to do a little bit of light sparring it says a lot about the man that within minutes of meeting him the Dalai Lama the embodiment of peace compassion and enlightenment fancied a fight please welcome actor and Explorer Brian blessing well combined did you really have a fight with the Dalai this is my age exactly my age I'm ya Joe Louis's boxing gloves two pairs and so I was to be Yorkshire schooled by boxing champion so I boxed him unison he was absolutely dreadful look at the girl did you did you beat the crap out of it when I give it up they were so sweet little bash of the chin and down i went for the full count well that's very respectful to a listening guard right let's get going with our opening round called threesomes nothing to do with what Russell Brand would call a quiet night in in fact it's matching a series of quotes to one of three celebrities which possibly Russell would enjoy just as much as those meaningless couplings if only he'd give it a chance you want to play along at home then follow at something I said on Twitter to unlock extra clips so the theme of this week's threesome is painting and can we have our first quotation please Brian if I were a painter I would paint beautiful bodies I would paint nipples and I would paint Bibles now in a moment I'm gonna give you three famous faces to choose from first of all any initial thoughts about that can I just ask why are any of us other than Brian ever speaking question it's yeah Brian do you have an ounce no I don't have an answer there yeah I refuse to speak no I'm not going to be this nasal an ineffectual somewhere out there who likes your weird little voice well even thank you listen to this and please stop flirting with me I'm gonna tell you who the three armed gonna narrow the options down who said it was it music producer and hip-hop star will.i.am actress and Hollywood starlet Mae West or former president george w bush if george w bush were a painter he'd be in the corner like one of those kids at school with the glue just eating it certainly look at his little face huh it's not yeah looks like he's got a little storage space on his neck there but he's lost the lid will iams mind would certainly yeah hang around you know okay beautiful bodies nipples the Bible juniors when I was an international navin player for about three or four years I was known as will i phone you have any thoughts about this rotation the longest ever nipples on a human were just over seven no nine inches long there was an escape is this person yes sir do you know he wore tiny little leather bra and he just wrote like a world like a Catherine Wheel there goes Jericho knows can we or at a cinnamon world well couldn't even is tied him to Kevin a nice little phone he could've but that's one infection sets in yeah please tell me he was in a death metal tribute band called nine inch niche imagine of George Bush wanting to be anything other than himself if I were is a phrase he wouldn't bother with no because I don't think he sort of ever does anything or did anything he killed a hundred thousand people in half well you don't know how many people have you killed Richard I bet it's under 10 or something don't be so sure will I am is that him in the morning is he will I p.m. you don't care he's got guttering in his hair have you considered the lady in the middle you've not talked about me West she looks like an artiste with nipples she definitely had nipples she was the first lady to say that women could really enjoy sex when they wanted it how they wanted it she's to come up and see me sometime who do you think out of these three people said that if they were a painter they paint nipples and Bibles I can say with absolute certainty at will.i.am so that's your answer happy with that Mickey I'm the captain that's fast I'm guy with Katherine she seems very very convinced on this Richard and Bob I would say it's well I am I would also say it's mr. an well the answer is will.i.am well it was in response to being asked whether the black eyed peas were still a purist hip-hop act that means anything to you ok can we have our next quotation on the subject of painting please I paint people's pets and I love to give them their pet as a gift so who paint people's pets will.i.am mae west or george w bush that's big business you know amongst posh people and the rich they love having their pets painted I love it because when you paint a child it always turns out creepy mmm have you paint a spaniel adorable every time you're in a dangerous ground of this weird verb to paint that means both to depict and to color in killer it's your amusing to lay out as a young child preferably under two on a bed in adult clothing and painter hitler tache on them now this person who said this quote has has knocked out at least 50 portraits of dogs people love their dogs have you got a dog no cats you're a cat person no I'm just a person but I have no superpowers are you saying you keep people as pets what's the word slaves yeah you told in human trafficking I guess what I like as a pet is to import so you know 14 or 15 prostitutes from Eastern Europe and you know generally live off their owners it's one of the most inappropriate rounds of applause in misery anyway who do we think said I pent people's pets and I love to give them their pet as a gift was it will.i.am Mae West or George W Bush just through syntactical collision yeah could be George Bush and yes i did use the freights and tactical collision yeah but I think it's what I am I think that this would have to be May westwood Nick I'm just thinking she's got the dog there and she's maybe a dog lover okay yeah I'm happy tip are you I'm seeing as I've said the other two and I I don't even stand by them that's now he's it yeah I'm saying many ways yeah didn't I made that clear when I said when I am or it could be George Bush made your own team if you're getting the feedback from team members EG Bob you've got a design am i listening to him or am i ignoring him Brian he'll me he knows the answer yes I know the optional he's the ideal person to us cheating and what are the penalties well you lost your authority no no I mean you're right i feel very small no you're a man of stature i'm just saying that you come on over there is a penalty just south of everest on the southern side it's fandom and it is the biggest [ __ ] in the world you go there and you open up a door and you look out and there's a huge mountain of [ __ ] there and you get a plant above it if you slip you'll never be seen again it's not punishment that's the punishment Richard that's how you run a quiz yeah final answer may [ __ ] West are you say Frank you are to thank you the Queen the Queen said to me you name it to bless it the other week when you're on about two years ago I got news for you you did say at uck 30 times whoever who didn't appear to swear but of course it's an anglo-saxon word [ __ ] it means spreading obscene that's probably allowed you to have you heard the Queen say [ __ ] that is amazing no relationship because I called her knuckles because every time you apart well doing at about everest and she comes along she's always itching me what a very intimate relationships I mean Catherine see us your options seem to be thinking it we worry think it might be George Bush because things are the sort of thing that he you know he just paint like a circle and put it up there and put some ears on it go cat can't give you the picture of your cat so you saying George W a fake Cap'n yeah definitely well the answer is george w bush we took up hating in retirement after reading Churchill's painting as a pastime of his own paintings bush has said I relax I see colors differently I am I guess tapping a part of the brain that you know certainly never used when I was a teenager or a president okay Brian can we have the next quotation on painting please it may reflect my precocious nature be paging myself in a bathtub has a clue I can tell you that all three of this threesome have owned bathtubs so George would never get in the bathtub haha why not too risky a war breaks out and you're in the bath takes ages to get out and dry yourself down it's she's a shower man you can see that yeah but then in the shower it's harder to hear if someone shouting from downstairs a wars just broken [Music] deal with it whereas in the bath you can hear people can ask your questions through the door whatever you can get more admin done I think from the bathroom from the shower because your PA you could lie under the buff perfect they could be under the wall Bob people who do you think it is he's precocious and self painting in the bathtub have you ever been to someone's home and they've hung photos of only themselves all around the house photo of themselves on the bedside I've got that uncle big picture me in the nude you see lead and I just look up and go I'd say it's me West she's precocious you think Mae West precocious and a bit saucy the implication of nudity that so often comes with having a bath not for me of course I wear trunks what do you think I I think it's will.i.am you're not a fan of will I am I sense I feel I've spent less time thinking about will.i.am then perhaps I ought to have i I've I already feel I've said will I am more time had to yeah I feel somehow that I'm being forced into a verbal pattern that I don't wish to a dot bike is very name I don't have to go up in the middle in the name no forcing me that way we should be able to having to loop and we can have my otha see Clark can't we but that's in between different sections of his name oh I see what it's always our site it's William it's in the middle oh my we're gonna change my name to Mick KY now you're both wrong the answer is George Bush his paintings first came to light in February when his family email account was hacked and several self-portrait presumably because his password was password self-portraits showing the ex-president in the bath were put online yet his bushes painting yourself in a bar and his bushes painting of himself in the shower and just out of shot is someone being waterboarded it's not using that shower to its full potential is he no no he goes in every day this going to go and every day I soap up his PA could adjust the head do you think that's the reflection of his PA in the none of these quotations on art was from Mae West but she was highly quotable and one of my favorites from her is good sex is like good bridge if you don't have a good partner you'd better have a good hand and he's brilliant it's so rude Ryan speaking of art you I believe have met Picasso oh yes yes I hammers no end to my talents listen 12 years of age that's 1948 those are World Peace Congress no more Wars and and the Russians got together the Americans and Generals they all came to Sheffield it was amazing occasion and Picasso was there and I got him put it on my classmates is it is your Picasso draw me something and he drew a dove of peace in about 20 seconds less and i'll actually that's a week sure that's not a dog I I'll draw your Dorf and I drew him a dove and I gave it to him and he looked at it and I turn this down siiii and you can see it in Sheffield with a gallery in Sheffield and it's valued at 57 million pounds my father wouldn't talk to me for about a month never sure how long is supposed to look at paintings I should have a little symbol at the side of each paint in how long you have to look at it for what motion you should feel the people that made at seven seconds compassion and you're gone so at the end of our threesomes around I can tell you that Mickey's team is in the lead over the break see if you can complete this quotation from actor Jack Nicholson from an interview in 2006 offering some moral guidance there's only two people in your life you should lie to what or who you can tweet your answer to at something I said and we'll see you in a couple of minutes well here's something I said before the break we asked you to complete this quotation from jack nicholson there's only two people in your life you should lie to any thoughts panel yourself than everyone else your fat friend and your ugly friend your girly about the smell your girlfriend about your batting average your war you're warm there I don't lie to anyone ever yeah I know the truth shall set you free what happens in the dark shall come to light you don't do it mr. Mitchell ever but society functions on lines through exchanging in sincere compliment that's all very British to me and we're not so polite was it just what a party like in Canada shut up you wanna be sitting down I expect don't know right ring when I like hate you if you weren't taller I didn't even want to come I told you this was a bad idea darling what are we getting divorced I love Lori are the two people in your life that you lied to most maybe my little boy and my wife well she gonna survive in a marriage by being honest by going on going what the [ __ ] have I gone god I could be doing anything now but I look after that little [ __ ] Jack Nicholson I can tell you as a clue is no longer married maybe you should let your wife and your girlfriend Oh girlfriend yes that's a girlfriend and one other girlfriend and boyfriend your girlfriend's detective look in the corner shop who sells me wine what do you tell him I told him I don't go anywhere else okay sir police well done that's a jazz affected his womanizing oh I think I know the answer to this he said something ludicrous like he only takes fire grow when he is with more than one woman that is not the answer but that is fattening but no he didn't mention viagra he said I'm definitely still wild at heart but I've struck by 0 gravity I can't hit on women in public anymore I didn't decide this it just doesn't feel right at my age you know he died in that film The Shining in the maze didn't he no no the character he played probably live in back a bit yeah I was gonna say if ever you're trapped in a maze you know how to get out the maze just keep turning left if you keep going left and left and left the left left eventually you'll get out of any maze that's a very good ruining mazes one way of relaxing later hampton court i hope my son's work that out i really do in 1994 Jack was involved in a road rage incident on the way to play golf when he hit a man's car with his driver it's unclear who is more upset the car's owner or jacks driver for being swung round by the ankles the next round is called keywords I'm gonna give our panelists two key words from a famous quotation which they should know and they have to work out the whole thing I'll give the point to whoever's closest to getting it completely right just to make it a bit more exciting if our panelists can't guess it I'm gonna have them shot here's one from American industrialists and founder of the Ford Motor Company Henry Ford taken from his autobiography my life and work in 1922 so Brian can we have the two key words please customer and color say what you like about fooled he never fell down the stairs did he never give any chances on the stairs he is in mid very careful descent their reports family is from Cork and my family's from quark and he's so successful like a like a multi-billion dollar American industry man about how come Ireland is so poor don't they get like a little piece of Ford he didn't make the money when he was in Cork did he I know but don't like rappers by their momma house right well I am never would have let Ireland suffered waiting Henry Ford nothing I'm starting to think he's a piece of [ __ ] well he yeah what's a piece of [ __ ] really though he's a horrible anti-semite oh then was the quote respect for every customer of every color except that one yeah this is some steward the first big production car yeah wasn't it feasible to the Model T exactly i'm referring to his announcement in 1909 that ford were going to build only one model of car the Model T is it like the customer can have any color of car they like as long as it's black that is basically he was an anti-semite but he wasn't racist against black people he was selectively racist which I manifest better or worse just different release all racism by its nature is selected that's what's great about it yes but no you're so completely right i don't think i can let Mickey and Katherine guess anyway I just think I have to get the complete quotation from Brian please any customer can have a car painted any color that he wants so long as it is black Ford suggested of the use of flack from nineteen fourteen to nineteen twenty-six due to the cheap cost and durability of black paint no part of the reason he broke everything up into an individual task was so it would be easy to sac people so it rather than have a one man who could make build a car because oh then old you too madam yeah you all you do is put the top on the payer tank anyone could do that and he was the first person to do that essentially he crushed I thought the one who did the engine those pretty key you followed through the dream of breaking the job down if this one guy on the engine if it's okay okay I but I pass I put that on the wheel I put I put that little bit on the seat cover and then that guy he then bill I never became an industrialist yeah which world leader had a life-sized picture of Ford by his desk in dr mean no stalin no Churchill no Hitler Hitler Patsy it just gets nicer and nicer Henry for doesn't this is sent him the picture say there at all with best wishes for your future endeavors it was basically yes Hitler greatly admired Ford's writings on production the Model T it inspired the volkswagen beetle which is the only car to have been produced in greater numbers as the motorcar took over from the horse-drawn cab Henry Ford borrowed the idea of using a moving assembly line from the meatpacking industry which uses horses in a rather different way the end of our keyword I can tell you that the teams are now tied a little break see if you can complete this quotation from legendary filmmaker Alfred Hitchcock in 1963 talking about something he's scared of have you ever seen anything more revolting than what you can tweet your answer to add something I said and we'll see you in a couple of minutes something I said before the break we asked you to complete this quotation from Alfred Hitchcock have you ever seen anything more revolting than what any thoughts panel mmm of a great big beard and mustache trying to eat a scotch egg scene is horrible it could sort like the star sweeps the egg as they're eaten as a man with a beard now I find eating a scotch egg is it easier because you get a second go yeah I on my street a scotch egg now people would pass out and then one gob that's the best way yeah that you just have it take it like a para see that's right that yeah I think they've half answered it in the eye I think I know the answer to this you know the answer yeah its eggs and I know the interview came from was with the Francois Truffaut [ __ ] well dad he said so yoke is like blood he ate food privately and kind of really in a [ __ ] d sort of way but have these certain things that he really dislikes and all all of the seduction teams and Hitchcock films generally are accompanied for the meal but what he actually said about blood he said blood is jolly red but egg yolk is yellow revolting I've never tasted it it's odd cuz he sort of looks like an egg he also looks like bound right can we have the full quotation please yes yes here's a full quarter she's have you ever seen anything more revolting than an egg yolk Breaking and spitting it's yellow liquid um what other phobias did Hitchcock have you might know this Richard he was famously frightened of the police because when he was young he did some you know my nothing and his father got the local policeman to lock him up in the jail cell for 10 minutes and then let him out and say this is what we do to naughty boys it says here being frightened of policemen he said started when I was about 11 I'd been on a bus ride and I didn't have the money for the return fare I made my way back on foot and reached home after nine my father opened the door and didn't say a word he just gave me a note and said take it to Watson Watson was a policeman a family friend he'd no sooner got the note then he shut me in a Cell shouting this is what happens to bad boys who get home after nine o'clock years ago but every time I see a policeman I start shaking he was also famous for casting himself in his own productions but how you'll definitely know this I'm sure how did he place himself in a scene in the film lifeboat which was a story of shipwreck survivors adrift in the middle of the ocean he was in the lifeboat he was the lifeboat he he went parsa on a banana he's my instant on their way to make a good in a article for losing weight in the newspaper and he'd just been on this big diet and had lost a lot of weight and so there's a before and after picture of him yet that's absolutely right and Hitchcock is both men who's reading the paper some guy William Bendix great gangster William Bendix yeah terrific I'll cook your teeth yogurts rude wonderful head well William Bendix also invented a wonderful mint Alfred Hitchcock's cameo appearances have helped make his films very popular with cinema-goers as his movies off our not just a thrilling suspense story or murder mystery but also a free game of where's wally play ram call what are they talking about you're going to hear a quote that's been taken completely out of context and you need to work out what that person is talking about sort of like being a High Court judge who's had a big lunch and has just woken up in the middle of someone giving evidence and now has to work out whether it's an email scam or a drive-by shooting this location is from naturalist and broadcaster David Attenborough talking about his beliefs on a chat show in 2009 they have the quote please Brian nobody goes up to 19,000 feet just to make a joke so what's he talking about um is it when you're on a plane and the stewardess comes past and you say pull my finger is it true that he went up lived with the gorillas so is it something about going up and living with the gorillas no I don't I don't these about gorillas cuz I don't think gorillas live at 19,000 feet what is the house give me like a benchmark at 19,000 feet you're beginning to die quite rapidly you and then at 21,000 feet you got 16 days to live even if you're well acclimatize 28,000 feet where I was one day without oxygen then you will die in one doe 19,000 feet you're deteriorated you don't want to stab there too much who could live at 19,000 feet then well nobody can live there effin for very long but you can go there yeah I'll give you a clue is it is it someone of pretending to be something and go to 19,000 v to put something on yourself to pretend to be this creature then do it oh yes too much back then so too much return back to learn how am I saying is too much much it has made it a bigger coup is it that Bigfoot it is a well let's have the full quote fine yes I'm so sorry I bugger better bum sir I just want to be helped no well how do you really did yes I am absolutely baffled by the abominable snowman nobody goes up to 19,000 feet just to make a joke yes Attenborough acknowledges that there are very very convincing footprint and that there is an unanswered problem there so basically saying that he thinks there might well be a Yeti of you have you seen a Yeti Brian it seems to me that there is a case for the Yeti subtype whatever you under college I'm different types I did say to the Sherpas when I was deep on the northern side of Tibet the first time I went to Everest I I said him is there such a thing as a Yeti yeah yeah yeah my my father killer I yet even as a little boy and so well what did he look like is it you look like you there's no doubt from what I can gather from the Russians and everything else and in Mongolia where they traipse across the countryside and migrate in the summer and the autumn I think that it certainly exists Oh David yeah can Bryan states or more things yes Brian I need you to make a tape yes of you talking for an hour and I need to hear that tape every day every day very well yeah our final round is the was it something I said round in which each team has to work out who said the following quotations it'll be from someone on the show tonight or from our virtual guest Russell Crowe we rang Russell Crowe to ask for some quotes for the show but all we got was the sound of the phone flying through the air and ricocheting off a bell boys face soap answer that one first up is Richards team who said the following was it Mickey Katherine Brian me or Russell Crowe I'd like to play a passionate woman but no one will let me ah I think dry and don't you although could it be Flanagan I wouldn't mind playing a woman but not a passionate one I don't have a passion I'm glad to play a frigid woman yeah Oh keep the [ __ ] away from me he's immediately brought back to life with a considerable and moving back story of rejection yeah they explained her inability perform his little balls yeah that's Oscar clip yeah and the Academy Award goes and they play that one clip Micky Flanagan the [ __ ] hating woman you think not Flanagan well I think his Brian yeah Brian he's a writer Brian the answer is Russell Crowe yes it was he said in an interview earlier this year when asked about his dream role all right so next up its Mickey's team who said the following was it Richard Bob Bryan me or Russell Crowe I haven't cried since about nineteen ninety-six so who is that I think mr. Damon Mitchell probably doesn't cry no he does not you wouldn't see it is you know that he probably just gets his hands and pushes and went into his father and just run straight into a wall to stop also he probably keeps a diary so logged it in 1996 when he did cry yeah I do not log mission I think Brian seems like he would cry any anything if he saw like a yak with one leg oh yeah koala love have to take it home oh I think it's our in towards Brussels park I think we'll go Russell Crowe yeah well the answer is me yeah that was me I'm dead inside well I'm afraid that's all we've got time for in a quick look at the scores tells me this week's winners are richer than Bob [Applause] Ritchie involving leave you in the world okay JK rowling who once said death obsesses me I can't understand why it doesn't obsess everybody the answer being because half the world's obsessed since dead with Harry bloody Potter sunday from 10 brand new was it something I said well let's talk telling next on for truth hurts me goggle box [Music] Mae West she's precocious you think Mae West precocious and a bit saucy the implication of nudity that so often comes with having a buff not for me of course I wear trunks what do you think I I think it's will.i.am you're not a fan of will I am I sense I feel I've spent less time thinking about will.i.am then perhaps I ought to have I I already feel I've said will I am more time yeah I somehow that I'm being forced into a verbal pattern but I don't wish to adopt bike is very name I don't have to go up in the middle in the name no forcing me that way we should be able to having to loop and we can hang arthur c clarke can't we but that's in between different sections of his name oh I see what you two are so it's William it's in the middle oh my we're gonna change my name to Mick KY now you're both wrong the answer is George Bush his paintings first came to light in February when his family email account was hacked and several self-portrait binili because his password was password self-portraits showing the ex-president in the bath were put online yes his bushes painting himself in a bar and his bushes painting of himself in the shower and just out of shot is someone being waterboarded it's not using that shower to its full potential is he no he goes in every day this guy's going every day I soap up his PA could adjust the head do you think that's the reflection of his PA in the mirror none of these quotations on art was from Mae West but she was highly quotable and one of my favorites from her is good sex is like good bridge if you don't have a good partner you'd better have a good hand I mean he's brilliant it's so rude Ryan speaking of art you I believe have met Picasso oh yes is this I hammers no end to my talents since 12 years of age against 1948 those are World Peace Congress no more Wars and and the Russians got together and the Americans and Generals they all came to Sheffield it was amazing occasion and Picasso was there and I got him put it on my classmates is it your Picasso draw me something and he drew a dove of peace in about 20 seconds less and I looked at it that's a week sure that's not a job I I'll draw your Dorf and I drew him a dove and I gave it to him and he looked at it and I turn this down siiii and you can see it in Sheffield with an art gallery in sheffield and it's valued at 57 million pounds my father wouldn't talk to me for about a month I'm never sure how long you supposed to look at paintings I should have a little symbol at the side of each paint in how long you have to look at it for what motion you should feel people that made up seven seconds compassion and you're gone so at the end of our threesomes around I can tell you that Mickey's team is in the lead a little break see if you can complete this quotation from actor Jack Nicholson from an interview in 2006 offering some moral guidance there's only two people in your life you should lie to what or who you can tweet your answer to act something I said and we'll see you in a couple of minutes or something i said before the break we asked you to complete this quotation from jack nicholson there's only two people in your life you should lie to any thoughts panel yourself than everyone else your fat friend and your ugly friend your girly about the smell your girlfriend about your batting average your war you're warm there I don't lie to anyone ever yes nothing I know the truth shall set you free what happens in the dark shall come to light you don't do it mr. Mitchell ever but society functions on lines through exchanging in sincere compliment that's all very British to me and we're not so polite was it just what's a party like in Canada shut up you gonna be sitting down I expect don't know right when I like date you if you weren't taller I didn't even want to come I told you this was a bad idea darling what are we getting divorced I love lie who are the two people in your life that you light in those maybe you're my little boy and my wife well she gonna survive in a marriage by being honest by going on go and what the [ __ ] of all I down god I could be doing anything amber got look after that little [ __ ] Jack Nicholson I can tell you as a clue is no longer married maybe you should let your wife and your girlfriend girlfriend yes that's a girlfriend and one other girlfriend and boyfriend your girlfriend's detective look in the corner shop who sells me wine what do you tell him I told him at that go anywhere else police the police well done age has affected his womanizing oh I think I know the answer to this he said something ludicrous like he only takes Viagra when he is with more than one woman that is not the answer but that is fattening but no he didn't mention viagra he said I'm definitely still wild at heart but I've struck by 0 gravity I can't hit on women in public anymore I didn't decide this it just doesn't feel right at my age you know he died in that film The Shining in the maze didn't he no no the character he played full of in back of it yeah I was gonna say if ever you're trapped in a maze you know I had to get out of the maze just keep turning left if you keep going left and left and after the left left eventually you'll get out of any maze that's a very fun to ruining mazes one way of relaxing hampton court i hope my son's work that out i'm really good in 1994 Jack was involved in a road rage incident on the way to play golf when he hit a man's car with his driver it's unclear who was more upset the car's owner or jacks driver for being swung round by the ankles the next round is called keywords I'm gonna give our panelists two key words from a famous quotation which they should know and they have to work out the whole thing I'll give the point to whoever's closest to getting it completely right just to make it a bit more exciting if our panelists can't guess it I'm gonna have them shot okay here's one from American industrialists and founder of the Ford Motor Company Henry Ford taken from his autobiography my life and work in 1922 so Brian can we have the two key words please customer and color say what you like about fooled he never fell down the stairs did he never took any chances on the stairs he is in mid very careful descent their reports family is from Cork and my family's from quark and he's so successful like a like a multi-billion dollar American industry man about how come Ireland is so poor don't they get like a little piece of Ford he didn't make the money when he was in Cork did he I know but don't like rappers by their momma house all right well I am never would've let Ireland suffered waiting Henry Ford nothing I'm starting to think he's a piece of [ __ ] well he was a piece of [ __ ] really know he's a horrible anti-semite oh then was the quote respect for every customer of every color except that one this is some steward the first big production car yeah was an easy tool to the Model T exactly i was referring to his announcement in 1909 that Ford we're going to build only one model of car the Model T is it like the customer can have any color of car they like as long as it's black that is basically he was an anti-semite but he wasn't racist against black people he was selectively racist which an event better all works it's just different release all racism by its nature is selected that's what's great about it yes but no you're so completely right i don't think i can let Mickey and Katherine guess anyway I just think I have to get the complete quotation from Brian please any customer can have a car painted any color that he wants so long as it is black Ford suggested of the use of flack from nineteen fourteen to nineteen twenty-six due to the cheap cost and durability of black paint no part of the reason he broke everything up into an individual task was so it'd be easy to sac people so rather than have a one man who could make build a car because oh then older traumatic yeah you all you do is put the top on the payor tank anyone could do that and he was the first person to do that essentially he crushed crowd I would've thought the one who did the engine those pretty key you followed through the dream of breaking the job down if this one guy on the engine if it's okay okay I but I promise I put that on the wheel I put I put that little bit on the seat cover and then that guy he then bill thank you I never became an industrialist yeah which world leader had a life-sized picture of Ford by his desk ed I mean no stalin no Churchill no Hitler Hitler phasic it just gets nicer and nicer Henry Ford I think this is sending the picture say there at all with best wishes for your future endeavors it was me basically yes Hitler greatly admired Ford's writings on production the Model T and inspired the volkswagen beetle which is the only car to have been produced in greater numbers as the motorcar took over from the horse-drawn cab Henry Ford borrowed the idea of using a moving assembly line from the meatpacking industry which uses horses in a rather different way of our keyword I can tell you that the teams are now tied over the break see if you can complete this quotation from legendary filmmaker Alfred Hitchcock in 1963 talking about something he's scared of have you ever seen anything more revolting than what you can tweet your answer to at something I said and we'll see you in a couple of minutes hey something I said before the break we asked you to complete this quotation from Alfred Hitchcock have you ever seen anything more revolting than what any thoughts panel mmm of a great big beard and mustache trying to eat a scotch egg scene is horrible because talk like that the star sweeps [Music] [Applause] hello and welcome to was it something I said the panel show that celebrates quotations in all their forms both the spoken and the written word for instance Tony Blair once said some people would like me to retire but I never will adding that was 11 words that'll cost you 11 hundred dollars Micky Flanagan steam is Canadian comedian Kathryn Ryan and with Richard I awadi is British comedian Bob Mortimer here to read our quotations is someone who once said of the Dalai Lama we share a passion of boxing we used to do a little bit of light sparring it says a lot about the man that within minutes of meeting him the Dalai Lama the embodiment of peace compassion and enlightenment fancied a fight please welcome actor and Explorer Brian blessing well combined did you really have a fight with the Dalai this is my age exactly my age I'm ya Joe Louis's boxing gloves two pairs and so I was used to be yorkshire schoolboy boxing champion so I'm boxed in unison he was absolutely dreadful look at the girl did you did you beat the crap out of it when I give you so sweet little batch of the children down i went for the full count well that's very respectful to a listening guard right let's get going with our opening round called threesomes nothing to do with what Russell Brand would call a quiet night in in fact it's matching a series of quotes to one of three celebrities which possibly Russell would enjoy just as much as those meaningless couplings if only he'd give it a chance you want to play along at home then follow at something I said on Twitter to unlock extra clips so the theme of this week's threesome is painting and can we have our first quotation please Brian if I were a painter I would paint beautiful bodies I would paint nipples and I would paint Bibles now in a moment I'm gonna give you three famous faces to choose from first of all any initial thoughts about that can I just ask why are any of us other than Brian ever speaking question it's yeah Brian do you have an answer no I don't have an answer there yeah I I refuse to speak no I'm not going to be this nasal an ineffectual somewhere out there who likes your weird low voice well even thank you listen to this and please stop flirting with me I'm gonna tell you who the three are I'm gonna narrow the options down who said it was it music producer and hip-hop star will.i.am actress and Hollywood starlet Mae West or former president george w bush if george w bush were a painter you'd be in the corner like one of those kids at school with the glue just eating it certainly look at his little face huh it's not here looks like he's got a little storage space on his neck there but he's lost the lid will iams mind would certainly yeah King around you know i'm paying beautiful bodies nipple survival juniors when i was an international level and player for about three or four years i was known as will i phone you have any thoughts about this rotation the longest ever nipples on a human were just over seven no nine inches long there was an escape is this person yes sir do you know he wore tiny little leather bra and he just wrote like a wheel like a Catherine Wheel their jaw Ricardo's can we or a cinnamon world well couldn't even is tied up together in a nice little bone he could have but that's one infection sets in yeah please tell me who's in a death metal tribute band called nine inch net imagine George Bush wanting to be anything other than himself if I were is a phrase he wouldn't bother with no because I don't think he thought of ever does anything or did anything he killed a hundred thousand people in half well you don't know how many people have you killed Richard I bet it's under 10 or something don't be so sure it will I am is that him in the morning is he will I peer don't care he's got that ring in his hair obviously have you considered the lady in the middle you've not talked about me West she looks like an artiste with nipples she definitely had nipples she was the first lady to say that women could really enjoy sex when they wanted it how they wanted it she's to come up and see me sometime who do you think out of these three people said if they were a painter they paint nipples and Bibles I can say with absolute certainty it's will.i.am so that's your answer happy with that Mickey I'm the captain that as far as the moment I'm going with caffeine she seems very very convinced fulness Richard and Bob I would say it's well I am I would also say it's mr. an well the answer is will.i.am well done this is in response to being asked whether the black eyed peas were still a purist hip-hop act okay can we have our next quotation on the subject of painting please I paint people's pets Eggers very young as a man with a beard now I find eating a scotch egg is is easier because you get a second go yeah I'm with sweet a scotch egg now people would pass out and then one goblin that's the best way yeah you just have it take it like a para see that's right that yeah I think they're half arts of it in the eye I think I know the answer to this you know the answer yeah its eggs and I know the interview came from was with the Francois Truffaut [ __ ] well done he said to a yoke is like blood he ate food privately in kind of really in a [ __ ] d sort of way but have these certain things that he really dislikes and all all of the seduction teens and Hitchcock films generally are accompanied for the meal well what he actually said about blood he said blood is jolly red but egg yolk is yellow revolting I've never tasted it it's odd because he sort of looks like an egg he also looks like bound right can we have the full quotation please yes yes here's a full quarter she's have you ever seen anything more revolting than an egg yolk Breaking and spitting it's yellow liquid and one other phobias did Hitchcock have you might know this Richard he was famously frightened to the police because when he was young he did some you know my nothing and his father got the local policeman to lock him up in the jail cell for 10 minutes and then let him out and say this is what we do to naughty boys it says here being frightened of policemen he said started when I was about 11 I'd been on a bus ride and I didn't have the money for the return fare I made my way back on foot and reached home after nine my father opened the door and didn't say a word he just gave me a note that said take it to Watson Watson was a policeman a family friend he'd no sooner got the note then he shut me in a Cell shouting this is what happens to bad boys who get home after nine o'clock years ago but every time I see a policeman I start shaking he was also famous for casting himself in his own productions but how you'll definitely know this I'm sure how did he place himself in a scene in the film lifeboat which was a story of shipwrecked survivors adrift in the middle of the ocean he was in the lifeboat he was the lifeboat he he went Parsa honor banana he's my instant on their way to make a load in a article for losing weight in a newspaper and he'd just been on this big diet and had lost a lot of weight and so there's a before and after picture of him yet that's absolutely right and Hitchcock is both men who's reading the paper some guy William Bendix great gangster William Bendix yeah terrific I'll cook your teeth yogurts rude wonderful head well William Bendix also invented a wonderful mint Alfred Hitchcock's cameo appearances have helped make his films very popular with cinema-goers as his movies off our not just a thrilling suspense story or murder mystery but also a free game of where's wally it's time to play around call what are they talking about you're going to hear a quote that's been taken completely out of context and you need to work out what that person is talking about sort of like being a High Court judge who's had a big lunch and has just woken up in the middle of someone giving evidence and now has to work out whether it's an email scam or a drive-by shooting this limitation is from naturalist and broadcaster David Attenborough talking about his beliefs on a chat show in 2009 they have the quote please Brian nobody goes up to 19,000 feet just to make a joke so what's he talking about um is it when you're on a plane and the stewardess comes past and you say pull my finger is it true that he went I've lived with the gorillas so is it sound like about going up and living with the gorillas no I don't I don't these about gorillas cuz I don't think gorillas live at 19,000 feet what is the house give me like a benchmark I'm 19,000 feet you're beginning to die quite rapidly you and then at 21,000 feet you got 16 days to live even if you're well acclimatize 28,000 eat where I was one day without oxygen then you will die in one day 19,000 feet you're deteriorated you don't to stab there too much who could live at 19,000 feet then well nobody can live there for very long but you can go there I'll give you a clue is it is it someone of pretending to be something good in nineteen thousand be to put something on yourself to pretend to be this creature then who is oh yes too much of accent is that too much return back the one they say is too much juice has made it a bigger coup is it that Bigfoot it is a well let's have the full quote fine yes I'm so sorry I bugger better I'm sure I just want to be helped no well agar you really did I'm absolutely baffled by the abominable snowman that nobody goes up to 19,000 feet just to make a joke yes at umbra acknowledges that there are very very convincing footprints and that there is an unanswered problem there so basically saying that he thinks there might well be a Yeti of you have you seen a Yeti Ryan it seems to me that there is a case for the Yeti subtype whatever you under call it I'm different types I did say to the Sherpas when I was deep on the northern side of Tibet the first time I went to Everest I i said to him is there such a thing as a Yeti yeah yeah yeah my my father killer are yet even as a little boy and so or what did he look like is it you look like you there's no doubt from what I can gather from the Russians and everything else and I love to give them their pet as a gift so who paint people's pets will.i.am Mae West or george w bush that's big business you know amongst posh people and the rich they love having their pets painted i love it because when you paint a child it always turns out creepy mmm have you paint a spaniel adorable every time we're in the dangerous ground of this weird verb to paint that means both to depict and to color in killer it yet amusing to lay our young child preferably under two on a bed in adult clothing and paint a hit latesh on them now this person who said this quote has has knocked out at least 50 portraits of dogs you've got a lot of their dogs have you got a dog no cats you're a cat person no I'm just a person that I have no superpowers are you saying you keep people as pets what's the word sleeves yeah no need Paul in human trafficking I guess what I like as a pet is to import so you know 14 or 15 prostitutes from Eastern Europe and you know generally live off their owners it's one of the most inappropriate rounds before I'm in misery anyway who do we think said I paint people's pets and I love to give them their pet as a gift was it will.i.am Mae West or George W Bush just through syntactical collision yeah could be George Bush and yes i did use the freights and tactical collision yeah but I think it's what I am I think that this would have to be May westwood Nick I'm just thinking she's got the dog there and she's maybe a dog lover okay yeah I'm happy to are you I'm seeing as I've said the other two and I I don't even stand by them back now either yeah I'm saying my ways yeah didn't I made that clear when I said when I am or it could be George Bush need your own team if you're getting feedback from team members EG Bob you've got a design am i listening to him or am i ignoring him Brian hell music he knows the answer yes I know the optional he's the ideal person to us it's cheating and what are the penalties well loved your authority no no I mean you're right and I feel very small laughing oh no you're a man of stature I'm just saying that you can't run over there is a penalty just south of Everest on the southern side it's fandom and it is the biggest [ __ ] in the world and you go there and you open up a door and you look out and there's a huge mountain of [ __ ] there and you get a panther babin if you slip you'll never be seen again that's not punishment that's the punishment Richard that's how you run a quiz yeah final answer may [ __ ] West you say Frank you think too much the Queen the Queen said to me you know mr. blessed the other week when you were on about two years ago I got news for you you did say f uck 30 times remember who didn't appear to swear but of course it's an anglo-saxon word [ __ ] it means spreading obscene that's what area he's probably around you to have you heard the Queen say [ __ ] that is amazing I said no is relationship because I call the knuckles because every time you go far to LD being AG about everest and she comes along he's always hitting me I've got a very intimate relationships oh dear Catherine see us your houses seem to be thinking it we worry think it might be George Bush because things are sort of thing that he you know he just paint like a circle and put it up yeah I put some ease on it go care can't give you the picture of your cat are you saying George W think caffeine yeah definitely well the answer is george w bush we took up hating in retirement after reading Churchill's painting as a pastime of his own paintings butcher said I relax I'd see colors differently I am I guess tapping a part of the brain that you know certainly never used when I was a teenager or a president okay Brian can we have the next quotation on painting please it may reflect my precocious nature be paging myself in a bathtub has a clue I can tell you that all three of this threesome have owned bathtubs so George would never get in the bathtub why not too risky a war breaks out and you're in the bath takes ages to get out and dry yourself down it's she's a shower man you can see that yeah but then in the shower it's harder to hear if someone's shouting from downstairs a wars just broken [Music] deal with it where is in the bath you can hear and people can ask your questions through the door whatever you can get more admin done I think from the barthel from the shower because your PA you could lie under the buff be perfect make it be under the wall Bob canopy who do you think it is he's precocious and south painting in the bathtub have you ever been to someone's home and they've hung photos have only themselves all around the house photo of themselves on the bedside alcohol big picture me in the nude you see you need and I'll just look up and go I said [Music] [Applause] hello and welcome to was it something I said the panel show that celebrates quotations in all their forms both the spoken and the written word for instance Tony Blair once said some people would like me to retire but I never will adding that was 11 words that'll cost you 11 hundred dollars Oh Micky Flanagan steam is Canadian comedian Katherine Ryan and with Richard I awadi is British comedian Bob Mortimer we're to read our quotations is someone who once said of the Dalai Lama we share a passion of boxing we used to do a little bit of light sparring it says a lot about the man that within minutes of meeting him the Dalai Lama the embodiment of peace compassion and enlightenment fancied a fight please welcome actor and Explorer Brian blessing well combined did you really have a fight with the Dalai Lama's he's my age exactly my age I'm ya Joe Louis's boxing gloves to bears and so I was used to be yorkshire schooled by boxing champion time box Tim unison he was absolutely dreadful look how to go did you did you beat the crap out of it when I get it it was her sweet little bash of the children down i went for the full count well that's very respectful to a listening guard right let's get going with our opening round called threesomes nothing to do with what Russell Brand would call a quiet night in in fact it's matching a series of quotes to one of three celebrities which possibly Russell would enjoy just as much as those meaningless couplings if only he'd give it a chance you want to play along at home then follow at something I said on Twitter to unlock extra clips so the theme of this week's threesome is painting and can we have our first quotation please Brian if I were a painter I would paint beautiful bodies I would paint nipples and I would paint Bibles now in a moment I'm give you three famous faces to choose from first of all any initial thoughts about that can I just ask why are any of us other than Brian ever speaking it's a very good question it's yeah Brian do you have an answer no I don't have an answer yeah I refuse to speak no I'm not going to be this nasal an ineffectual somewhere out there who likes your weird little boy well even thank you listen to this and please stop flirting with me I'm gonna tell you who the three are I'm gonna narrow the options down who said it was it music producer and hip-hop star will.i.am actress and Hollywood starlet Mae West or former president george w bush if george w bush were a painter he'd be in the corner like one of those kids at school with the glue just eating it certainly look at his little face hmm it's not here looks like he's got a little storage space on his neck there but he's lost the lid will iams mind would certainly yeah ping around you know i'm paying beautiful bodies nipple survival juniors when i was an international level and player for about three or four years i was known as will i phone you have any thoughts about this rotation the longest ever nipples on a human were just over seven no nine inches long it was a nursery is this person yes sir do you know he wore tiny little leather bra and he just wrote little like a Catherine Wheel there goes Jericho knows can we or a cinnamon world well couldn't even is tied him to Kevin a nice little bone he could have but that's one infection sets in yeah please tell me who's in a death metal tribute band called nine inch net imagine George Bush wanting to be anything other than himself if I were is a phrase he wouldn't bother with no because I don't think he sort of ever does anything or did anything he killed a hundred thousand people in half well you don't know how many people have you killed Richard I bet it's under 10 or something don't be so sure it will I am is that him in the morning is he will I p.m. he's got butchering in his hair have you considered the lady in the middle not talked about me west she looks like an artiste with nipples she definitely had nipples she was the first lady to say that women could really enjoy sex when they wanted it how they wanted it she's to come up and see me sometime who do you think out of these three people said if they were a painter they paint nipples and Bibles I can say with absolute certainty at will.i.am that's your answer happy with that Mickey I'm the captain that as far as I'm guy with caffeine she seems very very convinced on this Richard and Bob I would say it's well I am I would also say it's mr. an well the answer is will.i.am well it was in response to being asked whether the black eyed peas were still a purist hip-hop act thank you okay can we have our next quotation on the subject of painting please I paint people's pets and I love to give them their pet as a gift so who paint people's pets will.i.am Mae West or george w bush that's big business you know amongst posh people and the rich they love having their pets painted I love it because when you paint a child it always turns out creepy maybe you paint a spaniel adorable every time we're in the dangerous ground of this weird verb to paint that means both to depict and to cover in killer it's yet amusing to lay out a a young child preferably under two on a bed in adult clothing and paint a hitler tache on them now this person who said this quote has has knocked out at least 50 portraits of dogs people a lot of their dogs have you got a dog no cats you're a cat person no I'm just a person but I have no superpowers are you saying you keep people as pets what's the word sleeves yeah you'd call in human trafficking I guess I like as a pet is to import so you know 14 or 15 prostitutes from Eastern Europe and you know generally live off their owners nice inappropriate rounds of applause human misery who do we think said I paint people's pets and I love to give them their pet as a gift was it will.i.am Mae West or George W Bush just through syntactical collision yeah could be George Bush and yes I did use the freights and tactical collision yeah but I think it's what I am I think that this would have to be May westwood Nick I'm just think oh she's got the dog there and she's maybe a dog lover okay yeah I'm happy to are you I'm seeing as I've said the other two and I I don't even stand by them that's how easy yeah he's saying my ways yeah didn't I made that clear when I said when I am or it could be George Bush made your own team if you're getting feedback from team members EG Bob you've got a designer my listening to him or am i ignoring him Brian hell me I don't do to help he knows the answer I know the optional he's the ideal person to us it's cheating and what are the penalties well ask your authority no I mean you're right i feel very small no you're a man of stature I'm just saying that you can't look I know there is there is a penalty just south of Everest on the southern side it's fandom and it is the biggest [ __ ] in the world yuh gyal there and you open up a door and you look out and there's a huge mountain of [ __ ] there and you get a plan to Babbitt if you slip you'll never been seen again that's not punishment that's the punishment Richard that's how you run a quiz yeah final answer may [ __ ] West are you are just a frog you okay to change the Queen the Queen said to me you know mr. bless it the other week when you're on about two years ago I got news for you you did say f uck 30 times whoever who didn't appear to swear but of course it's an anglo-saxon word [ __ ] it means spreading obscene that's what every probably around you that have you heard the Queen say [ __ ] that is amazing I said no relationship because I called her knuckles because every time she go far to welcoming AG about everest and she comes along she's always itchy oh what a very intimate relationships I mean Catherine see us your answers seem to be thinking it we worry think it might be George Bush because things are the sort of thing that he you know he just paint like a circle and put it up there and put some ears on it go care can't your gay give you the picture of your cat so you saying George W wasn't fake happen yeah definitely well we answer is george w bush we took up hating in retirement after reading Churchill's painting as a pastime of his own paintings butcher said I relax I see colors differently I am I guess tapping a part of the brain that you know certainly never used when I was a teenager or a president okay Brian can we have the next quotation on painting please it may reflect my precocious nature be paging myself in a bathtub yeah has a clue I can tell you that all three of this threesome have owned bathtubs so George would never get in the bathtub haha why not too risky a war breaks out and you're in the bath takes ages to get out and dry yourself down it's she's a shower man you can see that yeah but then in the shower it's harder to hear if someone's shouting from downstairs a wars just broken [Music] deal with it or is in the bath you can hear people can ask your questions through the door whatever you can get more admin done I think from the bathroom from the shower because your PA you could lie under the buff perfect they could be under the wall Bob who do you think it is he's precocious and self painting in the bathtub have you ever been to someone's home and they've hung photos have only themselves all around the house photo of themselves on the bedside I've got that uncle big picture me in the nude you see lead and I just look up and go I'd say it's me West she's precocious you think Mae West precocious and a bit saucy the implication of nudity that so often comes with having a bath not for me of course I wear trunks what do you think I I think it's will.i.am you're not a fan of will I am I sense I feel I've spent less time thinking about will.i.am then perhaps I ought to have I I already feel I've said will I am more time to yeah I somehow that I'm being forced into a verbal pattern but I don't wish to adopt by his very name I don't have to go up in the middle in the name no forcing me that way we should be able to having to loop and we can hang arthur c clarke can't we but that's in between different sections of his name oh I see what you two are two sons William it's in the middle who's gonna change my name to Mick KY now you're both wrong the answer is George Bush his paintings first came to light in February when his family email account was hacked and several self-portrait between Likud his password was password self-portraits showing the ex-president in the bath were put online yet his bush is painting himself in a bar and his bushes painting of himself in the shower and just out of shot is someone being waterboarded it's not using that shower to its full potential is he no he goes in every day this going to go in every day I soap up his PA could adjust the head do you think that's the reflection of his PA in none of these quotations on art was from Mae West but she was highly quotable and one of my favorites from her is good sex is like good bridge if you don't have a good partner you'd better have a good hand he's brilliant it's so rude Ryan speaking of art you I believe have met Picasso yes it is I hammers no end to my talents Allison 12 years of agents 1948 those are World Peace Congress no more Wars and and the Russians got together and the Americans and Generals we all came to Sheffield it was amazing occasion and Picasa was there and I got him put it on my classmates is it your Picasso draw me something and he drawed dove of peace in about 20 seconds less and I'll actually that's a withdrawal that's not a dog and I'll draw your Dorf and I drew him a dove and I gave it to him and he looked at it and I turned his down siiii and you can see it in Sheffield with an art gallery in Sheffield and it's valued at 57 million pounds my father wouldn't talk to me for about a month never sure how long is supposed to look at paintings I should have a little symbol at the side of each paint in how long you have to look at it for what motion you should feel people that mean that seven seconds compassion and you're gone so at the end of our threesomes around I can tell you that Mickey's team is in the lead over the break see if you can complete this quotation from actor Jack Nicholson from an interview in 2006 offering some moral guidance there's only two people in your life you should lie to what or who you can tweet your answer to app something I said and we'll see you in a couple of minutes well here's something i said before the break we asked you to complete this quotation from jack nicholson there's only two people in your life you should lie to any thoughts panel yourself than everyone else your fat friend and your ugly friend your granny about the smell your girlfriend about your batting average your war you're warm there I don't lie to anyone ever yeah I know the truth shall set you free what happens in the dark shall come to light you don't do it mr. Mitchell ever but society functions on lies through exchanging in sincere compliment that's all very British to me and we're not so polite was it just what a party like in Canada shut up you I'd rather be sitting down expect your know right man i like it you if you weren't taller ain't even want to come I told you this was a bad idea darling are we getting divorced I love line who are the two people in your life that you lied to most maybe you're my little boy and my wife well she can to survive in a marriage by being honest by going on go and what the [ __ ] of all I down god I could be doing anything nambo got look after that little [ __ ] Jack Nicholson I can tell you the clue is no longer married maybe you should let your wife and your girlfriend girlfriend yes that's a girlfriend and one other girlfriend and boyfriend your girlfriend's detective look in the corner shop who sells me wine what do you tell him I told him I don't go anywhere else police police well done Jack's age has affected his womanizing oh I think I know the answer to this he said something ludicrous like he only takes Viagra when he is with more than one woman that is not the answer but that is fattening but no he didn't mention viagra he said I'm definitely still wild at heart but I've struck by 0 gravity I can't hit on women in public anymore I didn't decide this it just doesn't feel right at my age you know he died in that film The Shining in the maze didn't he no no the character he played probably live in back of it yeah I was gonna say if ever you're trapped in a maze you know how to get out the maze just keep turning left if you keep going left and left and after the left left eventually you'll get out of any maze that's a very fun to ruining mazes one way of relaxing hampton court i hope my son's work that out i really do
