- Maybe you should spend less
time conditioning your hair and spend more time buying one wok. Hair so silky, but no wok. So sad. (beeping) Good news, niece and nephew. ExpressVPN back to
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the MSG for your internet. Use it to give Netflix more flavor. Find out how you can get three month free by using link in description below, or go to expressvpn.com/uncleroger. And now we start video. Hello, niece and nephew. It's Uncle Roger. Few week ago, Uncle Roger make video with Ozzy Man Review. We watch all the cooking fails. So satisfying. So Uncle Roger wondering
are Australian people better than British people
at making egg fried rice? So today I found this cooking
YouTuber from Australia. His name, Nat What I Reckon. Let's see how good his
egg fried rice skill is. Before we start, niece and nephew, I want you to smack like button. Smack like button now like how your parents smack
you when you fail your test. (upbeat music) Oh no! Packet rice to start, oh! (slide whistle whistling) Oh, wait, what he doing? (vacuum whirring) Oh. (upbeat music) (sighs) Uncle Roger, I see packet
rice, I feared the worst. Nat What I Reckon, don't start your video like this. You almost gave Uncle Roger heart attack. (vacuum whirring) Uncle Roger think packet rice is so bad, vacuuming packet rice is showing too much
respect to packet rice. The rice go into the vacuum, even the dirt inside the vacuum going, who the hell is this? Why you vacuum this trash next to me? (whistling) - What's goin' on, la champignons. Let's have a bit of a chat. - This guy, so many tattoo. Hmm. When Uncle Roger going up, I see people with so many tattoo, I assume they are gangster. But now a day when you
have so many tattoo, I assume you make latte. Uncle Roger think this
kitchen look too clean, too minimalistic. I think this guy Nat, he hate clutter, except on his skin. This is like white people kitchen. In Asian culture, the
messier your kitchen is, the better your food. Uncle Roger see tidy kitchen like this, I don't expect to eat egg fried rice. I expect to eat avocado on toast. - Anyway, we're here to
cook fuckin' fried rice. This shit on this shit. There's the fuckin' ingredients. Get fucked. - Haiya, why he cuss so much? Every two word is F bomb. Nat, you cooking egg fried rice, not getting divorced. Why you say F word so much? From now on Uncle Roger
gonna bleep out the F word with Chinese sound. (Chinese string music) YouTube, please don't
de-monetize Uncle Roger. I am family friendly channel. Is Nephew Nat right here
saying all the F word. He put ingredient on screen. Let's see what he have
for his egg fried rice. Oh, shitload of garlic! Oh my God! Okay, that is only time
cursing acceptable. You can use curse word to describe garlic. Only other time you can use cursing is when your ingredient list, you list out fuckton of MSG. - Right, so here's the
big trick with fried rice. You can't just (Chinese
string music) some rice and put the hot rice in
with the hot ingredients and expect it to be awesome fried rice. - Correct, correct. Never use hot rice for
your egg fried rice. - If you don't know how to cook
rice, don't worry about it. Here's a flashback from the other week. (bell dinging) For each cup of rice, it's
one and a half cups of water. Wash all the stupid shit off the rice that makes the rice stick together. Use cold water. Don't use warm water or
you'll cook the rice! Put it in the pot, bang it on the stove. Put a pinch of salt in
it, bang the lid on. Bring it to the boil. Once it's boiling, turn the heat down. Keep the lid on it until it's
(Chinese string music) cooked. Right-o, champ-- - Niece and nephew, you ever notice when you ask
white people how to make rice, they give it this long explanation full of mathematical formula. One cup rice, one and half cup water, put on stove, simmer 10 minute. Haiya, too much, too many instruction. You ask Asian people how they make rice, they just tell you, you put in rice cooker
and press the button. What are you stupid? Just buy this thing. World War II is over, use technology. When Uncle Roger tell
my white people friend to buy rice cooker, they always tell me, "Sorry,
cannot buy rice cooker. No space for this single
purpose appliance. Rice cooker is single purpose appliance." But then I go to their
house and I see toaster! Toaster also single purpose appliance. Why you have that, but not rice cooker? Rice cooker is better kitchen
appliance than toaster because rice, you can have for
breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Toast, you can only have a breakfast. So not versatile. If your parent make you toast for dinner, they don't love you. That is their way of
telling you you adopted. (laughing) Sorry, adopted children. (static buzzing) - While the rice is cooling
down, cut all this shit up, but keep these aside with your eggs. (knife chopping) - Okay, okay. The cutting quite pro. - Get your two eggs. Crack 'em into a bowl. Eh. And gently whisk them together, champion. Right-o. Right-o. - I don't like how he
throw shit around, haiya. You need to treat your kitchen
appliance with respect. If Uncle Roger throw shit like this around my parent would beat me. Because Asian parents respect
their kitchen appliance more than they respect their children. Uncle Roger so, so much
respect for my wok. Every day I talk to my wok, ask him how his day is. It's my only friend now. Uncle Roger love my wok so much, I think I am pansexual. (cheesy romantic music) (beeping)
- Now over to the stove. Right-o, first cab off the rankage, silver pan.
(pan clattering) Put the pan
(pan clattering) (laughing) Turn the (Chinese string
music) special, little heat on. (Chinese string music) I've lived here for almost
(Chinese string music) three months and I still
(Chinese string music) can't work this thing out. Right one. - This is cute. You can tell this guy not professional, but quite charming. - (Chinese string music)
Not even a minute, done. Set 'em aside, (Chinese string music) off, in their own little bowl. (bowl clanging) Get your bigger pan. - No, no, no! Nephew Nat, where your wok? Where your wok? You got all the step correct so far, but you don't have wok, haiya! Maybe you should spend less
time conditioning your hair and spend more time buying one wok. Hair so silky, but no wok. So sad. - The right one. Now you want to get this one nice and hot. Couple of tablespoons of sesame oil. - No, no, no, no, no. Sesame oil not for cooking. Sesame oil you use for flavoring later. For making egg fried rice, Uncle Roger like to use peanut oil because I want my fried
rice to be able to kill off all the weak peanut allergy people. Niece and nephew, just kidding. Uncle Roger love all my niece and nephew, including the weak one. If you have peanut allergy, your life so sad. You go to Asia, you eat egg fried rice, is like Russian roulette. Will I enjoy my meal or will I die? Let's find out. - All right. Now get this shit, put it in that shit. Add your peas. You want to kind of fry it off until you see the meat
start to go a little brown. Now the hot tip is try
and use a wooden implement and not a metal one. - Oh my God! He use wooden spoon on nonstick pan! Correct! Correct!
(children cheering) Uncle Roger respect this nephew. - Next, fang your egg back in, stir that round. And then add your rice in. Now add a couple of
tablespoons of oyster sauce and a tablespoon of soy sauce. Now (Chinese string music) - Oh no, no, no. Nephew Nat missing the
most important ingredient. MSG. How can you miss the king of flavor? Many niece and nephew asking Uncle Roger, why I like MSG so much? What does MSG taste like? MSG taste like umami. Umami flavor is the best flavor. The basic tastes is sweet,
salty, sour, bitter. All of them are bullshit. All I want is umami taste. Umami taste like happiness.
(sentimental music) It taste like first love. Taste like warm embrace from your lover. Next time you feel
lonely, just eat some MSG. Before MSG, Uncle Roger life in shamble. Ex-wife Auntie Helen
left, took everything. I become homeless, sitting on street. Then one day a kind stranger
came over to Uncle Roger, sprinkle MSG on me. And next thing you know, I bought this orange polo. - Stir it all together. (Nat grunts) (Nat grunts) - His tossing not as fuiyoh as
Uncle Gordon, but it's okay. It's acceptable for amateur cook. Solid B minus. - Give 'em a quick stir through. Serve it up. (calm piano music) - Not bad, not bad. This egg fried rice video is okay. Acceptable. Not Uncle Gordon fuiyoh
level, but it's okay. Uncle Roger eat this, I won't vomit. His egg fried rice is pretty good for someone who look like
unemployed guitarist. All he need to improve is buy a wok, stop using sesame oil, and use some MSG. Uncle Roger kept my leg
on chair the whole time. Niece and nephew, tell me what you think. Is Australian cooking
better than British cooking? Subscribe to Uncle Roger channel because next week video gonna be so good. I will review all niece and
nephew Halloween outfit. Dress up like Uncle Roger. Uncle Roger already got
500 submission so far. Thank you to all the niece and nephew. ♪ You make me feel special ♪ See you next week for my Halloween video. Bye bye! I think his kitchen too
clean to make egg fried rice. Proper kitchen for Asian egg
fried rice need to be messy, need to have clutter everywhere. Maybe some cockroaches here and there. That's how you know the food good, when the cockroach like your food. But this (laughing) It's weird talking to
yourself, by the way. Viewers back home, it's really weird. I'm just in the flat by myself and I'm talking at the screen. I'm laughing and (laughing) What has my life become? (beeping) (gasps) (laughing)
Fair.