Friend Tricks Me & I End Up In Hospital So I Sue Her & Win In Court But Now Her Life Is Ruined

i was a 20 year old female and in college i was living with my two best friends one of them was moving out so that she could move in with her boyfriend i placed an ad looking for another roommate that's how i met erin before she moved in she informed me that she was vegetarian but she wouldn't have a problem if other roommates weren't she moved into her apartment a month later the next day after she moved in she cooked breakfast for us i was surprised we didn't ask her to and by her own words she wanted to do something nice she had made pancakes bacon strips and hash browns i am deathly allergic to few things so i immediately asked her what was in the food but i didn't mention my allergies huge mistake she listed the ingredients and i didn't find anything i was allergic to edit she told me it was regular bacon not that it was fake bacon or that it had soy i started eating and everything tastes a little off i try the bacon and definitely something is wrong at this point she says ta-da and smuggly told us i bet it tastes exactly like meat i am freaking out now i told her i am severely allergic to soy and asked her whether there was any soy now she's apologizing and says she didn't know and that she's sorry she lied and blah blah i am experiencing anaphylactic shock throat closing up dizzy the works my best friend freaks out and calls an ambulance i had to stay in the hospital for two days with the us health care the ambulance plus my hospital stay racked up a lot of money money that i didn't have in the meantime i also filed a complaint with the police food tampering is a felony i had a lucky break my best friend had filmed the breakfast to post it on instagram and she got the whole thing in video in the end aaron had to plead guilty to some low degree felony she didn't get any jail time but got community service when she was found guilty i sued her for the hospital fees i won that one too erin's scholarship was cancelled and she had to drop out she also went into debt paying medical fees i saw her on facebook a few days ago and she's still down on her luck i guess a felony charge makes it very hard no matter how small the charge was i know she's the idiot for lying about food i want to know whether i'm the idiot for everything i did after because bottom line is i basically screwed a person's life because they put wrong ingredients on breakfast that they made only to do something nice i feel like everyone's the idiot here it does seem like she was trying to trick you into eating meat substitute which is a rotten thing to do but i also think it was your responsibility to ask does this have soy or other substances to which i am allergic explicitly or to otherwise inform her or anyone else who prepares food you're gonna eat that you have life-threatening allergies considering i expect zero soy in actual bacon i'd say that being told it's regular bacon is the tipping point for me opie is not the idiot you are not the idiot the reason that food tampering is considered a serious crime is because it can have precisely the kind of consequences you suffered she absolutely needed to be responsible for your costs and face the proper legal consequences for her reckless act that literally endangered your life and could have killed you and for what in order to trick you into liking something vegetarian not at all to do anything actually nice for you she deliberately deceived you you did the right thing the things you needed to i feel horrible for aaron me too but she could have killed opie just because she wanted to prove that vegetarian bacon is as good as real bacon like what a pointless way to go well the real idiot here is the american health care system that gave op no sane proportional response she literally couldn't afford the hospital bill but what was she supposed to do if health care had been free i think the range of options here would have been better as it is the incredible cost for an american hospital stay was a hot potato someone had to be holding when the smoke cleared my brother's been dating this girl julie for six ish months they live quite far so we have never met julie i'm living with my parents at the moment brother and julie arrived last weekend for a two-week visit brother gave us the heads up before they came that julie didn't like to be touched when they arrived we hugged brother but respected her space and gave her a friendly wave i honestly didn't have any sort of issue and i don't think my parents did either throughout this week though it's become clear that this isn't just a normal boundary julie is extreme in her reactions no one has intentionally touched her mind you there was an incident a day in where my dad brushed up against her in the kitchen and she had a complete fit she was hyperventilating and freaking out brother managed it since he was right there but it was pretty concerning since then the entire house has been walking on eggshells around her if you so much as walk in her direction she will take this deep audible breath and just stare wide-eyed making eye contact with her is 50 50 on whether she will start to get all freaked out now the house is pretty small it's quite difficult for five adults to operate when one of them is a step away from a conniption we've all tried our best over the week to accommodate her but it's definitely gotten on everyone's nerves last night my parents were confiding to me how uncomfortable they were in their own home i feel the same obviously it's not that julie doesn't want to be touched it's that she always assumes we're trying to touch her whenever we look at her walk in her direction it's incredibly tense to be in the same space as her because she looks at you like you're some kind of monster trying to hurt her i decided to talk to my brother today and ask if julie was okay he insisted that julie is totally fine and apparently having a good time he straight up refused to acknowledge that she was making us uncomfortable and basically told me to get lost i waited till the evening and talked to julie i managed to catch her alone and talk to her from a distance basically just said that the family has all been really uncomfortable with her reactions again not that she doesn't like touching but that she's so extreme in her fear towards us i tried to be sympathetic and kind in my words but she did not react well she started crying and just said that she didn't know we hated her what and she was doing her best i ended up just apologizing for mentioning it and escaped to my room my brother came to yell at me shortly after that he gave me a thorough telling off and basically called me a huge idiot i haven't spoken to my parents but i'm pretty confident they would be on my side here from a third party perspective am i the idiot if we had known how serious julie's issues were we definitely would have asked they got a hotel my brother really downplayed it to us you are not the idiot your brother is the idiot he knew how extreme her reaction to an accidental touch is he shouldn't have brought her especially for so long to your home which he presumably knew was small and would make accommodating her extreme needs very difficult and that her paranoia would make anyone uncomfortable in their own home if someone's behavior is making you uncomfortable in your own home no less you have a right to discuss it with them politely sounds like brother is either blind to the level of her reactions or in denial i have been living with my roommate holly for almost one and a half years holly wasn't a good roommate i was doing most of the chores i didn't like her much but she seemed to think that i was a really good friend of hers anytime i tried to talk to her she would either deflect or give excuses she told me once that it was my fault because i do it better than her and she is now not used to doing chores six months ago she told me that she got pregnant i was covering half of her rent too because she didn't have any money i wanted to ask her to move out but again she would say something or give excuses or start crying and i would back off a few months later situation got worse for her quit her job couldn't find another we were speaking one day and she told me how lucky she felt having a friend like me she thanked me for being so nice about the rent and the food and she also told me she's not feeling scared about being a single mom as i would be there to help her i freaked out hard helping out a person when they're in a spot is one thing but it was clear that she was expecting me to help her even after the baby was born i didn't want that another month passed by i was making plans to leave me and my friend found an apartment to share on september 3rd when she wasn't at home i moved all my things to a new apartment since most of the things outside her room were mine the apartment was pretty bare when i left i called my landlord and informed him that i won't be renewing my lease which was ending at the end of september he promised to return my security deposit in full at the end of the month after that i left a message to holly that i've moved out and she has to talk to the landlord about her situation from next month to be clear i paid my share of the rent for this month to the landlord and told him to ask holly about the rest and about making a new lease and new security deposit i refused to attend any more calls from her bottom line is i left an 8 or 9 months pregnant woman who was depending on me for many things like rent food etc on her own during a global situation while she was jobless she had left me multiple voicemails telling me how i should have talked to her and at least given a heads up instead of just moving out she told me that she's struggling a lot and she's about to give birth soon and that i need to help her she's saying that it's horrible of me to help her so much and then abandon her she told me that she wants to meet me and explain things she thinks that talking to her would make me move back i refuse to respond all my friends have conflicted opinions some think i could have just talked to her and resolved it some think that i should have at least given her a heads up some think i should move back in many think that it's not my fault at all again she has one month to figure things out with the landlord before the lease ends i didn't talk to her because it never worked in the past and i don't want to be guilt-tripped out of moving here for unbiased opinions am i the idiot everyone sucks here so of course your roommate is in the wrong for many things but at the same time you indulged her and covered a lot of her expenses were you firm in stating that you won't take over her expenses anymore you really didn't give her a lot of time to find a new place i don't know the market where you are but here you don't get an apartment in one month it seems to me that you deceived her she was convinced you would continue to help out so i don't think you were firm enough with your plans of course she shouldn't depend on you and should be a responsible adult so she's the idiot too of course you are the idiot you were super nice and supportive for a year and a half and then ghosted in the night like a basic conversation about your feelings or just your plans would have been reasonable is she supposed to read your mind no you are not the idiot because she is intentionally gaslighting you there are clearly some victim-blaming emotional manipulations going on in here even if it's small it's your fault i'm not able to pay rent and do chores you do it better than me you kept doing it so it's your fault that i'm not able to now you tried to talk to her you tried to get her to do chores didn't work you tried to talk about paying rent properly didn't work each time she pulled some emotional manipulation crying deflecting gaslighting so you didn't have any reason to think that talking would work you could have given her notice to move out when she couldn't pay rent instead you helped her even now she has one month to figure things out with the landlord which is the standard notice period i'm engaged my fiance and i have been together three years she has two daughters from another relationship a ten-year-old and a seven-year-old i'm close to all of them and i love her daughters and i'm excited to be a step dad my fiance's ex is kind of a deadbeat and barely sees his kids but he pays a pretty good amount in child support per month which goes to groceries clothes school supplies whatever my fiance needs for the girls my fiance wants me to adopt her daughters after we marry next year so i'm their real dad instead of her ex she already talked to him and he agreed to sign away parental rights so i could adopt them we started talking about this again recently and i found out her ex would be off the hook for child support if i adopted the girls i'm currently earning a master's while working full-time and i'll be paying off undergrad loans until i'm retired probably not to mention our mortgage car payment and future kids were planning together what i'm saying is we're already swamped with bills so losing the child support for the girls would significantly dent our finances more my fiance thinks we'd survive and it might be tight financially until we adjust but it would be worth it for us to be a complete family we got into a fight over this and she's accused me of not valuing her daughters over money then she said i'm just using this as an excuse to not adopt i told her adopting them would just be a gesture at this point since i already see the girls more than their actual dad does and we need to focus on the long-term and not sentimental stuff she's upset with me and i feel terrible but i still think i'm right our friends say i'm being kind of an idiot to my family and even my own mother says stepping up to be their dad should take priority over money i feel like i'm in some mirror dimension where potentially going bankrupt and struggling financially isn't a big deal to the people around me am i being the idiot here not the idiot they have a father who should be on the hook for his children if your fiance keeps pushing this scenario i would question her priorities she's still being a mother to her ex and now is expecting you to play a role in it don't do it or she's genuinely worried that if she dies her ex will get full custody and her children won't be able to see op you are not the idiot in my opinion it is not in your stepdaughter's best interests for you to adopt them ideally they would have a good relationship with both of their bio parents and the bonus of supportive bonus step parents as well that's not the case but their father hasn't abandoned them he's supporting them financially which is something if you adopted the girls and things didn't work out and you ended up getting divorced no one thinks they'll get divorced but it's a real possibility that you must consider then you would be on the hook for child support your wife seems to have some unrealistic expectation of a new nuclear family instead of being happy with a blended family it's concerning how hard she's pushing this issue last october a guy showed up at my friend's house claiming he was the father of friend's kid and that he got friend's wife pregnant and enough bear but ran off and broke contact everything broke loose on the guy first but seeing how the wife was acting suspicious he confronted her where she admitted to the cheating but claimed the child was my friends friend got a paternity test done and found out he is not the father he was hurt and depressed he left his house and stayed at a room away to think about the situation his wife reached out to all her common friends and they all asked him to forgive the wife and move on friend was feeling complicated his thoughts kept revolving around the kid the divorce law in my area says that infidelity is grounds for divorce but it is the father's responsibility to make sure his kids are secure financially but if the father can prove that the wife committed paternity fraud he gets out easy any lawyer could take this case and win due to his conflicted feelings he had a massive breakdown the wife and child also showed up to his place and caused a scene asking for forgiveness and for daddy to come back i usually stayed and listened to what he was feeling and saying not giving any of my input till after the last time wife and child showed up he said he wanted to know what to do i tried to avoid adding my answer in any way and said there are no right answers and that he should do what makes him happy and mentally healthy he kept on pressing me for a more direct answer and well seeing how desperate he was for an answer i told him that i would leave my wife in such a case without regret she can manage her child on her own i would do that because i know how cold i can get friend is my polar opposite he literally does not hurt a fly but this was just a hypothetical scenario and that the one experiencing this case in real life should look for his answer not my hypothetical response this happened in april this year mid-july my friend finally divorced his wife and she moved out he made a facebook post thanking me for giving him advice that made him resolve to leave fake happiness for his own selfish happiness the ex-wife called me a monster for destroying their happiness most of our friends and my wife are livid because they said i broke up their marriage wife is angry because my advice caused him to abandon his not his child that the child has lost the person they knew as their father i'm pretty sure i was clear about what i said and that it was not advice but if he followed that part then i'm not blaming him for what he did friends and wife still think i'm the nasty idiot because there could have been better ways to handle the situation so reddit am i [Music] lol mate based on your wife's reaction if you have kids i reckon you should get a paternity test seriously is there some kind of conspiracy in your neighborhood where all the wives are having affairs and having kids with men other than their husbands because i can think of no other reason why everyone would tell your mate that staying with a woman who committed adultery lied about it for presumably nine years or more and allowed him to raise a kid he didn't know wasn't his is a good idea screw those guys you are not wrong edit after reading through a lot of responses i've come to accept that a lot of people appear to believe the age old two parents who hate each other is better than one which is absolutely ridiculous my first boyfriend had parents who stayed together for him he was so emotionally messed up it was a nightmare he honestly didn't realize until his father remarried what a loving relationship could look like that's so sad to this day i'm thankful that my mother walked away when she realized the relationship with my father wasn't working you are not the idiot well everyone is an idiot even the friend for their actions here except for you and the kid the kid is a victim in all of this you kept your mouth shut and then you were pressed for answers and you said what you would do friend took advice and then blasted you all over facebook not cool that was highly inappropriate friend is an idiot wife is a nasty idiot for cheating and then lying about the kid friends are the idiots because they think cheating can be just brushed off and he should just raise another dude's kid anyway sounds like a prison sentence to me knowing i am living with a lying wife who couldn't stay faithful i would forever wonder if she was cheating or not [Music] you

Channel: ASK GURL

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Keywords: askreddit, r/askreddit, reddit, askwomen, reddit women, askreddit real voice, reddit stories, justnomil, r/aita, r/tifu, reddit food allergy, reddit vegan, reddit vegatarian, reddit toxic friend, reddit sued friend, reddit sue, reddit win in court

Id: 6M2W-7603_s

Length: 19min 16sec (1156 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 13 2021