Turning Corn into Profit in PRISON ARCHITECT

okay ladies and gentlemen i've descended into corn-based madness this is a goddamn abomination what have i created what have i made the map is full of corn my exports are full of corn hello there ladies and gentlemen i'm the spiffing brit and today we're back in the wonderful world of prison architect now what are we doing well we're going to be playing prison architect in a very unique way that's right because thanks to the brand new dlc announced by paradox interactive called going green which we've been given an early access to we're able to design and build the weirdest prison ever created a prison which is not a prison actually at all no we're not going to be building a prison because instead we're going to be building a mega farm that's right who needs grumpy prisoners who require basic human rights when instead you can create a work encampment with endless fields of crops mass producing and effectively printing money out of the ground the sky's the limit with the amount of money that can be made if you throw morality out the window and just focus on having a good time and making cash so that's exactly what we're about to do we're going to be building quite possibly the most british prison of all time so without further ado let's jump into our brand new happy farm prison naturally we're going to go for a very large plot ladies and gentlemen we're going to disable the fog of war because it'll get in the way of everything that we're trying to do i will of course enable failure conditions there's not really going to be any you can actually just enable whatever you like because it's not actually going to really affect the game in any way shape or form because we won't have any prisoners now of course in terms of what kind of prison we set up it's very important to pick one very specific person and that is a warden that knows how to make money say hello to the botanist ladies and gentlemen he's someone who has vast amounts of experience with the farming industry he increases the export price of each crop and equally he increases the chance of seeds to drop now just how much does he increase the export price of each crop buy well it's actually insane for almost all farm produce the botanist simply doubles its value meaning this is the easiest way to make money in the game anyway we're going to be throwing ourselves into the game let's go actually build this prison so say hello to our lovely landscape this here is our prison it's perfect it's glorious it's got everything that we could possibly want and more importantly we received two thousand dollars a day from the government that's right the government are here to support us in our endeavor now of course they give us money because they know that we'll be a great source of local employment and so naturally we're going to be firing half our workforce immediately equally we're going to want to build two actual buildings and then this will be the end of construction we're going to build two simple offices and that is all the only other things we need to slap down are a power station and a water pump nothing else is necessary now if you've never played prison architect then my goodness you are missing out my friends because this is one heck of a lovely game there really is nothing else quite like prison architect when it comes to the glorious sensation of violating basic human rights also by the way if you're inspired to destroy your own computer using the medium of corn this game is actually having a free weekend on steam at the moment equally you can pick it up on the majestic xbox game pass anyway what we're going to do to get ourselves started is hire ourselves the lovely botanist here is what a lovely guy he doubles the export price of all prison grown produce which is just insane but more importantly he's here to research for us so he's going to be researching maintenance so that our lovely maintenance foreman guy can research farming this entire process it's just going to take a few hours and whilst it does take a few hours what we're going to do is set up our basic farming fields now the game wants you to have cute quaint little farming fields like this look at this a cute six by six allotment you can whack a shed on it grow a few potatoes maybe some cabbages as you can be like a cute little farming granny but no instead we want to set up a mega field that's right we want to set up a field that spans the entire known bloody map here it is megafield maximizing profits it's absolutely insane to look at but my goodness that's just because it's pure condensed profits now the thing is when it comes to actually working in the farming field there's a couple of options you have option number one you can set the prisoners to work in this field that's right you can get prisoners to work in this field for you the only downside is that means you actually have to put up with prisoners speaking of which we're going to close off all of our intake because we do not want any new prisoners what are we some kind of prison no instead we'll be relying on farmers farmers cost one thousand dollars to buy it and use up wages of 150.00 a day however these guys are completely and utterly broken because they will maintain all of your fields no matter what nothing will stop them from farming speaking of which we're going to get our lovely maintenance guy to start researching farming and as soon as we've discovered farming that's going to actually allow us to start planting new crops because until you research farming you're limited to only really being able to plant potatoes and barley now potatoes and barley are pretty much useless because sure say a barley plant here gives you two barley for each plant you have that can be sold for three dollars each which we double meaning each barley plant gives us twelve dollars that's not very good instead you want the corn corn ladies and gentlemen gives you five ears of corn per each corn plant and each ear can be sold for five dollars each however that's doubled meaning each individual corn plant instead of giving you twelve dollars instead gives you fifty dollars fifty dollars per corn plant now that sounds pretty balanced now as soon as farming is finished being researched in 50 minutes time we're going to be able to start building our first mega field ladies and gentlemen this field will be providing us with infinite wealth and profit of course in order to actually set up this mega field we're going to need some farmers so we're going to buy as many as we can equally we're also going to sell ourselves the foreman because at this point he's done his entire job and can be fired and there we go we now make 250 a day meaning we can hire an additional two farmers perfect stuff there we go we're down to just making 49 a day this is not enough to survive but luckily we don't have to survive instead we can pick up a couple of fun little grants immediately we're going to pick up basic detention center to get the free 20 grand that comes with that bad boy and we'll also pick up the basic farming grant just for the nice basic 2500 that comes along with it now this first field is set up and running and it's in a prime position to start mass producing corn ladies and gentlemen because as much as i love all crops like tea corn in this case ladies and gentlemen is the most broken crop in this game we're going to be building a 30 meter by 30 meter mega square of corn which costs us 13 500 in terms of seed to actually plant we're then going to build another one right next to it now these 30 by 30 plots of land are effectively going to become our basic field setups in each of these 30 by 30 plots we technically have 900 individual corn plants now of course each of these 1 800 corn plants will eventually end up producing five corn each meaning in total for every harvest we'll be gaining nine thousand corn and this nine thousand corn can be sold for ten dollars each meaning each harvest ladies and gentlemen will be making 90 000 just for this small plot of land here oh dear god if you wanted to make 90 000 every few days in prison architects you would need to have a massive prison certainly not a small prison that takes up only this small plot of land oh my goodness anyway all we have to do is simply wait for all of our workers to plant all of the necessary seeds this is going to take quite a while and then as soon as all of the seeds are planted the corn plant itself actually takes 48 hours to grow now we do still have around about 36 hours until our first corn plants grow and yet we still have an entire field that needs to be planted now this entire process could be sped up massively if we just had ourselves more farmers however they're expensive they're 150 a day and we just don't make enough money to have more farmers but soon ladies and gentlemen now of course at the moment our largest expenditures are seed but thanks to our warden every single time we have a harvest we will basically double the amount of seeds we get the corn plants would usually provide us with two seeds meaning we can replant them for free and we can then plant an additional crop for free as well this means every time we have a harvest we can usually double the quantity of corn that we have and most importantly every time we have a harvest we'll be able to hire even more farmers so we're about three hours away from our first yields here they come ladies and gentlemen oh my goodness and watch as the corn spews on out remember each of these corn plants just immediately eats five corn on the floor that five corn equals fifty dollars ladies and gentlemen look at it all just rock it all over the floor it's perfect oh and so it begins our farmers are going to be very busy harvesting all of this corn but of course not only do these plants produce corn they also produce seed ah meaning the replanting can commence as soon as the corn is harvested it is immediately replaced and the next generation begins growing now there is one thing we need we actually need to set ourselves up an export area this way we can actually sell our corn i mean there are multiple ways we can sell the corn technically speaking the easiest way to sell the corn is just to use the sell object button here it would allow us to sell all of these items exceedingly quickly however we want these items to be added to our daily cash flow not our bank balance so that we can hire more farmers so we must wait for the farmers to simply box all the corn up into lovely little boxes and then the workmen will go and pick them up and i'm just going to sell one of the boxes of corn and now the workmen have activated here we go they will now begin moving the corn all the way over to the export area where upon which it gets loaded into these lovely supply trucks taken off the edge of the map and sold as exports now each export gets added to our daily cash flow making it a very valuable thing indeed merely selling objects doesn't get added to your daily cash flow meaning if you want to hire more farming staff you have to export it the manually way no cheating with the tool but a full load of corn onto a truck will make us a huge amount of money look at this bad boy go bam three thousand dollars in cash as soon as this day ticks on over we're going to be able to immediately hire a huge quantity of farmers which will speed up the planting process the watering process the growing process you name it more farmers more good now we can already see that the workers are starting to replant the next generation of corn seed as well as moving them into the shed oh and here we have it because one day is tick's over our daily cash flow has now been boosted to the point where we can see income from other is now at ten thousand dollars a day meaning we can hire more farmers just how many more farmers well we can hire an additional 10 farmers so that means we now have double the staff equally we're going to want to slam down a few more sheds because we're going to need to actually start storing more and more of these seeds there we go now we won't know just how many excess seeds we have until the farmers have managed to replant the entire next generation of corn a few moments later ah now as the second harvest is almost upon us it only feels natural to maybe crack a few farm-based puns but then again i realized it would be far too corny of me to crack farm-based jokes please insert the laugh track oh goodness now the giant corn farm is doing absolutely incredible we're just around about 16 to 20 hours away from our next harvest and as soon as it hits well the money will start rolling on in because whilst it says our daily cash flow is 12 000 it's not we're losing around about 275 each hour due to the massive quantity of staff wages that we actually have to spend however the staff do pay for themselves when it comes to actually harvesting all of this corn so we're not going to actually ever lose any money and here comes our first few harvests ladies and gentlemen oh the great money making now begins oh the chaos oh the absolute chaos that will now start 30 farmers all harvesting and packing corn into these lovely boxes oh here comes the money ladies and gentlemen here comes the money now the great corn boxing is really beginning now as we load up all of the corn onto supply trucks and send it off the map this is it ladies and gentlemen our daily cash flow will once again be absolutely gigantic oh yes we can hire more workers and more importantly we have more corn seed in total we have 822 corn seeds just lying around on the floor so after the great replanting commences we can use all of the excess corn seed that is stored in our sheds and get them replanted across the entire map and there we go i think that is all of the corn successfully packed off of all of these fields and now the great exporting can convince my goodness look at all the cord boxes oh this is incredible absolutely incredible the money is just going to be rolling on in oh this is fantastic i can't wait for the next planting to commence it will be glorious truly glorious and oh my goodness daily cash flow over the last day thirty four thousand dollars we exported over 50 grands worth of corn oh my goodness fifty one thousand nine hundred and ten dollars worth of corn were exported yesterday that is just absolutely insane oh my goodness so much corn i think it's safe to say that i can hire a few more farmers okay we're going to hire five more farmers there we go get yourselves to work get planting get watering no let me actually try and automate some of this watering all right i'm dismantling these corn crops here and i'm seeing if i can manage to just automate the watering process of this small area and see if it's actually worth it it costs 150 meaning if it just lasts a couple of harvests it should actually pay for itself and more importantly lessens the workload on our already limited supply of farmers who hopefully will spend 90 of their time just harvesting now of course these bad boys do need to be plugged into water so i'm going to have to pass down a giant water pipe and actually another thing i realize we can automate the entire harvesting process using these giant auto harvesters they cost two thousand five hundred dollars but they can automate an entire strip of field so you know what i'm going to get a few of them installed here and that's going to allow us to automate this entire field our workers will no longer have to water this area and they will no longer have to harvest this area they will only have to box it up now we've managed to completely replant the next generation of corn seeds and yet we still have if we check our corn inventory 865 excess corn seeds which means we can expand this operation even further like so and like so there we go in fact we've got even more corn seeds after this oh my goodness our fields are just doubling in size every single harvest this is terrified but i love it i absolutely love it right now this farming setup here is basically the perfect setup that allows us to automate crop harvesting and crop watering without actually needing to have our workers do anything each of these perfectly automated fields cost five grand to actually place but trust me they're going to be worth it we still have 500 corn seeds in the bank which basically means these automated fields won't actually cost us anything like seeds but there we go oh this is just fantastic look at this a great hive of farmers let's just get them to do another giant corn farm over here oh it's perfect bam a new cornfield we're about to just watch the workers swarm over here as soon as they finish up watering the great conquer line of work is planting the next generation of corn we are making an insane quantity of money each day though so it is actually important for us to hire an accountant the reasoning is simple we basically need our accountant to research tax relief because currently i think our tax rate is around about 30 percent meaning 30 of all our income is taxed away from us but by researching this we're able to drop our tax rate to 15 and later on when we have a spare 50 grand lying around we can drop our tax rate to one percent oh it's perfectly fair and legal anyway the great harvesting is now commencing this is glorious news the crops will be harvested and money will be made this is perfectly balanced my friends look at our great big giant fields in fact we actually have so many additional corn seeds lying around we just really need to do something with them we've got 1 000 spare corn seeds okay right i think it's just time that we expand the operation even further great big old cornfields give me some huge huge huge huge corn fields look at just how insanely large the fields that i'm getting oh dear god what have i created it's an abomination it really is right let's get a few more farmers on the field we're up to 45 farmers now i mean they certainly pay for themselves but my goodness we need a lot of them okay ladies and gentlemen i've descended into corn based madness this is a goddamn abomination what have i created what have i made the wrap is full of corn my exports are full of corn so what i did was i decided to try and fix the production because the main issue that was slowing down all of our production was that basically the farmers were having to spend too much time actually watering the crops so in order to solve that what i decided to do was relatively simple i added a whole bunch of irrigation systems into the map so that the watering process no longer had to happen equally down here we've set it up so that the watering harvesting and gathering process is entirely automated these entire fields are completely automated beyond the actual collection of the cardboard boxes to ship to the export zone as you can see the game is also ever so slightly chunking due to the fact that there are effectively seven billion bananas on the map but we can probably speed up this process by just doing a very large cell objects line over here there we go bam that's an easy 15 grand oh god so much money for solar to work it's perfect it's absolutely perfect right now the great loading of corn is commencing as we effectively hurl hundreds and hundreds of corn in cardboard boxes onto trucks and watch as our daily profit graph absolutely rockets into the stratosphere equally at the same time our accountant has finally researched the offshore tax haven so we only pay around one percent tax now which is absolutely fantastic this truly maximizes our profit output now the main reason we had to basically add all of these water features is because when your farm eventually hits a giant scale your crops can effectively wilt wilted crops are crops that haven't been watered so in order to not have any wilted crops because my farmers are too busy to actually manually water them we basically had to set up all of these automated watering systems and honestly they work an absolute treat they're definitely worth the financial investment right so the other thing that i've realized i've accidentally done is i selected to use gm crops instead of natural crops now the issue with gm crops are that they have a 50 shorter growth time basically meaning the corn grows in 24 hours which is insane this means our workers simply do not have enough time to plant all of the corn but the issue of the fast-growing corn is it equally has half the price so whilst we have our lovely warden who would normally double the price of corn to ten dollars ahead by having gm crops we actually half the value of that so i've had to switch back to natural crops however we will have an entire harvest happening in the next few hours which will produce millions and millions of corn the only issue is we'll be making half the money that we should be off of them nonetheless the great harvesting cycle must continue and we now have more staff than we have ever had 111 farmers in total we spend almost 20 thousand dollars a day on staff wages oh god it's almost harvesting season and as soon as this great big harvest is complete we'll be able to start the planting of our true proper corn plants which will take a full 48 hours to grow and grant us double the money this is more efficient to us than faster growing crops because it puts less of a strain on our actual manpower and allows us to plant more corn which ultimately is all that actually matters okay this is it ladies and gentlemen the true cornpocalypse basically the next generation of corn plants are just three hours away from harvesting and as soon as they do well chaos happens basically our glorious workers have run around the map and done a fantastic job by planting as many seeds as actually possible the interesting impact is that as soon as one corn plant finishes growing in exactly two hours time all workers will then immediately switch from planting new corn plants to harvesting when that happens new seeds simply won't be planted until all the previous crops have been harvested this has a very interesting effect because it basically causes us to farm in cycles and ladies and gentlemen the great cornpocalypse is about to commence in just one hour's time here it comes ladies and gentlemen oh dear god here it is the great harvesting now we are no longer using gmo corn meaning each individual corn is worth ten dollars all of this corn will be harvested and exported for giant profits it is happening the plants are flipping nature is taking over now naturally there are talks about dissidents among some of the workers so we must fence them in because of this we will be constructing the mega fence the mega fence will span our entire complex and prevent any workers from returning home to their loved ones or trying to tell the wider world about what has happened here no one will ever know of the atrocities that have been committed here in the name of corn farming no they will never ever know oh yes the workmen begin building the wall that will seal in their own fate look at this a complete array of corn just lying on a field slowly flooding into the export section all of this corn is also ready for harvesting everything is ready for harvesting it's glorious absolutely glorious i mean if we wanted to automate the entire thing we could put advanced auto gatherers everywhere and honestly maybe it's a good idea it would certainly speed up the process a bit basically make it so that all our farmers have to do is plant crops and all the workmen have to do is actually just haul the corn onto a truck and my goodness look at this endless corn being hauled there we go the great corn harvest is actually finished so now we have to wait another few more hours until the next harvest is actually ready and this is actually going to give our workers enough time to plant even more additional corn that's right the cycle of life is now complete it's natural and look at the exports go oh my goodness the money is just going to be flooding in and what i can do to summon more supply trucks i will begin construction of the great flamingo horde yes that is right we will use flamingos to keep the workers in check a giant army of plastic pink flamingos telling them that there is no escape from the existence which they now find themselves strapped to ah perfect so many supply trucks for us to fill up with corn tasty tasty corn this is it ladies and gentlemen the true snowball is beginning yesterday we managed to export almost 40 grands worth of corn and using that money i decided to hire more staff members or up to 125 farmers they are planting seeds at incredible rates sure they will take two days to yield us crops but those two days will be two glorious days of growth and we can sit knowing safely that the profits will be protected and that money will be made oh it is so glorious oh so glorious you know what i think it's time for us to spam down a few more additional grow zones over here i basically have a fantastic template set up which allows me to just place down a whole bunch of sprinklers in the perfect location to then lay down crops for maximum profits oh it's such a glorious setup it really is oh and the next generation of harvesting is already starting to commence here it comes ladies and gentlemen ah yes the swarm the endless swarm and cycle we're continuously harvesting and planting all at the same time infinite profits cycling round and round and round never ceasing never stopping always growing and expanding we have 23 000 seeds 23 000 corn seeds oh my god we could almost cover the entire map in goddamn corn seeds oh my god oh i need help i need help this game has ruined me it's broken me oh dear god it's broken me right this is it ladies and gentlemen the game itself is actually breaking if i zoom out a bit the game kind of just completely goes into a random game break mode it's just because there are simply so many entities in the form of corn lying around on the floor that the game doesn't actually know how to process it but we are pushing the 200 000 mark so i've decided the best way to maximize profits without actually increasing the amount of items and objects on the map is to simply use fruit orchards so we're going to build one giant mega fruit orchard using this template and spam it all the way out to here now fruit orchards are much better than regular fields because fruit trees don't require water they do take a little bit longer to actually grow but banana trees yield fantastic profits why in just one hour's time you'll be able to see just how much money we can make off of a banana tree that was actually a lovely rhyme oh my goodness so it's going to take about one hour for the game to actually process building the mega fruit orchard ah here we go banana tree it's ripe and ready for harvest now we need a one of our employees to come over here and bam it's bananas everywhere each of them selling for six glorious dollars each ah it's perfect so it's time to begin the great banana tree pasting exercise there we go ten thousand bananas oh dear god what have i created oh my god i'm spending thousands and thousands of bananas but it's going to be worth it they're really low maintenance and high profit so we might as well get them in because it's the only thing that's going to allow our game to continue chunking just look at the amount of delivery trucks we now have in we have so much cord that we need to sell so much down corn oh i'm going insane oh this game was broken i thought i was meant to be breaking the video games not the other way round oh god paradox what have you done to me when i close my eyes at night all i see is corn and banana endless corn and banana honestly after today's video i'm going to need cbt cbt of course stands for corn and banana therapy oh god just anything to help me get through the day so much god damn god ladies and gentlemen it's day 38 everything is breaking my computer is slowly dying as each passing day goes one fps leaks away from my computer never to return again the banana trees are growing they are growing majestically and fantastically the game is so broken the sucky machines can't even suck in all of the corn the delivery zones are completely broken they're just filled with boxes upon boxes of court oh my goodness i need cash and i need cash quickly and i'm not going to wait for export so instead just going to do a great big mouse wheel there and just sell would go 20 grand worth of corn 46 grams worth of corn we can do it again here 37 grams worth easy money ladies and gentlemen easy perfectly balanced profit margins oh dear god what the hell have i created well ladies and gentlemen i think that this pretty much perfectly sums up just how broken the new prison architect dlc is you no longer need to actually run a prison when instead you can just run one giant farm this giant farm can employ hundreds and hundreds of really low paid workers who will never see the light of day again equally you can watch over your workers with an army of never-ending pink flamingos oh goodness the glorious pink flamingo overlords make sure to praise them in the comment section or they will obliterate you using their laser vision dead god what have i created well ladies and gentlemen that's all that i have in store for today's video if you want to actually learn more about this dlc there'll be a link in the comment section and description but as always with paradox there is absolutely no pressure for you to do any of this they're really chill majestic sausages and they don't care if this video actually manages to convince people to play the game which is very nice of them as always a huge thank you to each and every one of our majestic patrons who make these videos all the more possible seriously thank you very much you lovely sausages and of course thank you to you the majestic subscriber who actually sits down and watches this video it really has changed my world so thank you very much and heck if you want to see more videos like this then why not consider watching this one on screen now hand chosen by myself to be exactly perfect for you anyway i'll see each and every one of you in the next one where we'll be breaking games at an all-new extreme level to have an absolutely lovely day and good bye for now

Channel: The Spiffing Brit

Views: 1,272,421

Keywords: Spiffing, Brit, prison architect, going green, prison architect going green, funny, perfectly balanced, Turning A Prison Into A Farm, prison, tycoon, tycoon game, prison tycoon, spiffing brit, the spiffing brit, is broken, game, prison architect funny, prison architect farm, prison architect challenge, game exploit, rt game, prison architect gameplay, gameplay, funny moments, prison architect escape, lets play prison architect, games, funny challenge, rtgame, video game

Id: xN3YUEwPtm8

Length: 26min 43sec (1603 seconds)

Published: Thu Jan 28 2021