Tumblr Awards v37

I really want to buy one of these grocery checkout dividers but the lady behind the counter keeps putting it back this is like the most innocent joke I've ever read girl scout hi how are you me Thin Mints my roommate is two days younger than me so I've gotten into the habit of sake When I was your age and then describing what I did two days ago what is he doing law he is becoming self-aware why must I be like that why must I chase the cat what Mouse walks on two legs McGee okay what duck walks on two legs Donald no all of them this is the last time you make a fool of me in my own house goddamnit things that still freak me out though syncs Americans have in their kitchens that you can destroy stuff with you mean other countries don't have garbage disposals why can't you just put your [ __ ] in the trash and not a monster drain he's cured actually if you look at the half monitor he's flatlining me explaining underwear to aliens we have smaller secret pants that we wear under our normal pants I was at the zoo the other day and there was this [ __ ] deuce trying to act like a [ __ ] flamingo windows8 can suck my dick I can't believe how far technology has come one more down thousands to go what a vague and potentially concerning caption Sabourin of a teenage witch hired this bolding man to play a high school student hey guys I'm making french toast sticks in the oven I'm gonna take a quick nap wake me up in five minutes so I can flip them over Randy it's been five minutes flip your sticks Randy your sticks why are shorts called shorts bug pants aren't called Long's she wears short shorts I wear long Long's she's cheer cheer her and I'm on the citizens I forgot what BFG stood for and I was sitting there for a good five minutes going they wouldn't have told her kids film big [ __ ] giant would they would they I was looking for apartments earlier today and I think I found the perfect one me calls mom where are you mom bathroom 47 the Internet is for cowboys only www it stands for wild wild west got called a lesbian in walmart earlier lads tell us what happened lad I got called a lesbian in Walmart yeah but what I was being a lesbian in Walmart Garrett was in Walmart I was looking at my friends Mullin discovered that her chin is actually a shark fundus [ __ ] fiona was the first redheaded Disney Princess when she made her debut in 1988 one year before Arielle did in the Little Mermaid 1989 Shrek came out in 2001 good for him I have been sitting in this Burger King for four hours they don't come to take your order you have to go to the counter I want to be a reverse tooth fairy where I rock people and then scatter human teeth on their bed a dentist I don't know what your dentist is doing to you but I think you need to go to the police when you're pregnant you can only eat tiny miniature versions of foods otherwise that the baby won't be able to fit it in its little mouth I'm a scientist ha ha ha ha you came out of a vagina c-section FTW you were never born they're just removed ouch happy removal day tumor baby do you play animal crossing no but I play animal circling high score I don't always have time to study but when I do I don't may at this exact moment YMCA but instead of young man they say comrade and the YMCA is USSR comrade steel production is down I said comrade you must sleep on the ground um okay then [ __ ] go marry that Loch Ness monster if you wish I got a tattoo of Casper the Friendly Ghost on my thigh when I would slap it he'd whisper the answers to my math test to me if anyone else tried to slap it Casper would say not so friendly now half and then proceeded to choke them ma'am paying attention to who's posting these makes a huge difference that was so embarrassing I'm never speaking again I don't even know what you're talking about but I'm reblogging a waitress said enjoy your meal and I replied love you too hey remember in 2016 when clown attack panic was a thing and two years later it's managed to leave no lasting indent in the American psyche how does that work the clown's won this reply terrifies me more than religion or mortality ever could it's been an honor serving with you all wait what the [ __ ] finishing homework at 4:00 a.m. that is the most accurate reaction jiff to describe this I cannot stop laughing no excuse for being unemployed there's jobs everywhere in nature help a beaver builder damn help the seagull peck some disgusting old food me as a superhero bad guy it's so cute how you think you can stop me me blushes reah Leonardo da Vinci don't call him that Leonardo da Vinci questions and answers here how is the fishing there egg not allowed this was for an aquarium Jennifer's addiction began at age five when she ate the seat of the family car what the actual [ __ ] Jennifer man who lost on by plunging it into larvae smugly refuses to describe what lava feels like so I was running a fever the other day and have no memory of writing this a well when you dig in pretty deep and hit a natural aquifer with potable water me a TED talk they should let pokemons follow you into games again the audience going nuts [Music] when you attempt to talk to your crush and oh boo nothing went right your squirtles name is Pikachu mind your own business in this world it's milk or be milked it's really not what the [ __ ] you even supposed to do with your hands while you're getting your dick sucked clap dear thesis is dojo I have a son a son son son he's a good son my son is my son so n stop reblogging I was drunk the line the witch happened the Fresh Prince of bel-air in West Narnia born and raised through the Wardrobe was where I spent most of my days I'm in graphic design class and found out how to remove Mario's stache and eyebrows if I were your teacher I would fail you over this me holding my thumb over my laptop's power button do you need a timeout or are you done I'm gonna go shower and become wet like a crocodile my favorite beast please for the love of God stay safe did you just tell yourself to stay safe self care applying for jobs like how soon are you able to start immediately please tell us about your relevant experience please you appreciate that butterfly on your head you little [ __ ] vintage white girl vloggers would kill for a picture like that I feel like everyone worships avocado and I'm struggling because it just tastes like compressed wet grass lump but nobody will listen and I'm all alone in this world don't mock my Squishy help nuts this is the worst thing that could have happened to this post are you happy with your current penis size you tryna sell me a new dick magnificent hummingbird grab not to toot my own horn or anything we playing Mario Kart whoever threw that blue shell your mom's a ho Ellen Ellen where are you I was in the closet [ __ ] Ellen what makes us human probably not that frogs are hilarious I mean Thea mostly just amout but with just enough leg to throw the mouth of food birds out here making some weird ass sounds Charles Darwin on his expedition to Galapagos what's your sexuality cooking mama cooking mama cooking mama if you get me chip Atal you will get chip hot laid this post is homophobic and you all know damn well why also fun fact being nice to someone you hate does not make you two-faced it makes you a mature adult who knows when to pick their battles and when to just let it go and tolerate someone for their shitty personality if you think otherwise grow up so many people to show this to it actually hurts me everyone dies one day everyone even wolves but not books not words words don't die my son 3 who is a lot smarter than I am Rebekah's imaginary son doesn't know about the Library of Alexandria wife is pregnant due any day suddenly the contractions start can't won't I'm haven't don't isn't she says doc it appears that contractions are worsening the nurse says in between briefs the wife gasps and screeches ow today's cheerful note the atomic bond can't kill you more times than you're going to die anyway the index journal Greenwood South Carolina August 6 1952 every time Millennials say they have the darkest sense of humor the Cold War generations have a little giggle cool but this could literally be a tweet made yesterday so I just had a guy at my house and I asked him if he wanted my Wi-Fi password and he said no I just want to spend time with you if this isn't love then I don't know what is working in a group where no one actually contributes to the project you will never know the hatred that burns with him healthy Halloween snacks these make me so happy boon earnest let me go to one of your crazy ass white people houses on Halloween and just try to hand me an orange with celery in the hole I will beat your ass I got Mike outta bed and set it down for two seconds while I unloaded my groceries and bam you're welcome my guests by I'm King shaming all of Germany is it better or worse if I tell y'all that nurse means nuts dope means fat or fake this post only gets worse super Dickman stick [ __ ] nuts when your parents yell at you for doing something wrong well you created me [ __ ] someone pointed at me and said this [ __ ] empty and started debating on whether or not I had a soul in this world did slit all get you eat it you are what you you need two weeks into a relationship I hate being without you I need to be touching and seeing you at all times two years into a relationship [ __ ] you I'm eating your chips why does dinners have a tumblr why do you you may be at risk for throat cancer if you have a throat or mouth well [ __ ] don't give Canadians money you don't understand this [ __ ] is waterproof and it's amazing also if you scratch neckli and maple leaves they smell like maple syrup is Canada even real the whole country is a [ __ ] theme park when you accidentally fart in public I don't know what happened she got loose somehow you know how babies get all quiet and calm when they see in the bar so apparently they do this because the mobile resembles birds of prey flying overhead that could potentially carry them off it's a revolutionary proceeding so that if the baby stays still the bird won't notice and ESA's babies don't like my bars they're [ __ ] terrified I'm more than a bit disturbed by how hard I laughed at this I love this words I use in every sentence no stop dude literally like seriously [ __ ] that's a sentence right there forwards and backwards you can rearrange them in any order and it'll be a sentence ladies and gentlemen the extensive vocabulary of tumblr I feel like the booty dyrus is that one pretty friend who is really funny and at the same time will come up to your window at 3:00 a.m. asking if you want some noodles I'm always lurking in the bushes with a ramen noodle so just one single noodle yeah but like it's law the man who invented it doesn't want it the man who bought it doesn't need it the man who needs it doesn't know it calling in fix a day interviewer what would you say is your biggest weakness me Wow where to start guess what number I'm thinking of 420 know that's really immature of you someone else guess and please take this seriously 69 year it was 69 I am such a fan of low soft lighting like turn off that with light and turn on a lamp [ __ ] the DeMott right this food pyramid nickel [ __ ] garlic bread so yo even though the fat is pretty much gone now I gotta admit NASA got their fidget spin a game off my therapist so how are you doing today me is your therapist washing you Instagram is depressing I prefer tumblr where everyone is upfront about their misery and constant desire to die why do people say chicken as a term for cow have you ever met a chicken cause those things were left you up man my BF knows how to sell and stuff so we were going to [ __ ] on a boat so when we sailed out to somewhere isolated we started making out pretty intensely and I kissed his neck and a lobe and whispered aye captain and he said I can't hear you so I said it again and then he [ __ ] went oh and started singing the [ __ ] spongebob theme song I wanted to kill him [Music] you cow belly let's go the monetization is drop in order to stop the migration of CHOP innovation and content creation and others rise all new states and got inspiration to drop an UK on top of your faces and mock in the face of the clock is still raising there's impatient monster is later not just escape news robbed like a paint you to be praying thought you would make it install the Creator who want to get paid for their awesome creation so take the advice of a goddess may kill one gotta says calvetti TV gets more traffic than a metropolis yes [ __ ] that

Channel: Cowbelly Studios

Views: 2,527,231

Rating: 4.9146032 out of 5

Keywords: comment, awards, memes, tumblr, tumblr textposts, tumblr awards, funny tumblr

Id: 2Lm9Z-82JoI

Length: 14min 18sec (858 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 23 2018