*Toy Story* Commentary

hello troublemakers and welcome back to movie commentary monday so nice to see your face around these parts again we're gonna watch toy story today let's go down memory lane from 1995 great year by the way and i was alive oh god no long intro let's just get right into this oh ooh toy story on a deal it's only an hour and 21 minutes too that's only a couple minutes longer than liar ladder vampire i hope this movie is just as good i've seen toy story before it's a movie from our childhoods child high is the uh plural version of multiple childhoods hoodsies let's just have some fun man when i do these disney ones or pixar ones it's all about just a good time oh i remember that wallpaper [ __ ] clouds all right everyone am i the only one that like i don't think this is cute you're just dumb you dumb kid spell right there's no z in brazilian i guess brazilian is not a word yeah you know what spell it however you want it's not a real word money money money got a little mr krabs vibe from that quiet people your sheep get run over okay i understand it's a potato but is the potato in this kid's fictional scenario does he control a train is he like if you don't shut up i'm gonna take this gun fire around in the air signaling the driver of the train it's gonna go around a loop and run over your sheep is that the planet you could just shoot the sheep just pop up i hope your gun sounds a little more manly than i just sounded somebody do something reach for the sky reach for the sky with what weapon you got an empty holster sir how are you going to take on a potato with a gun say goodbye to the wife and hater talk that kid's going to get bullied when it grows up oh i'm so sorry kid i'm being mean to babies fictional babies is that what this channel's come to you brandon me oh this is the best when people talk about best disney soundtracks this one gets left out you got a friend in me i said you got a friend in me when i look at your smile i know it's been a while cause you got a friend in me that's not the lyrics i know it's about a while rough when the road looks rough ahead i thought it was a while it might be a little bit smarter [Music] oh i was making faces i was just having a good time i kind of forgot what i was doing i just went into my little [ __ ] kid mode baby i put a little spazz come on molly you're getting heavy yeah you fat baby can i bully the baby can we just let me have a pass on this because it's fiction like it was a real baby i wow i'd probably still roast it i've went pretty hard on babies before in the past get that cg baby the [ __ ] out of my sight if i ever get cancelled it's gonna be something baby related like oh did you hear what he said about that baby that was really distasteful it's probably gonna be a baby related cancelling [Music] look i'm picasso i can't believe the only one who watched this movie as a kid and then started treating their toys with a lot of respect i to this day sometimes i'll talk to my car when i get in my car i talk to it like it can hear me i'm like oh we're gonna go here today car you ready i shouldn't have revealed that because no one knew i could've went my whole life bad news why is this dog smoking so many cigarettes bad news has his voice always been raspy smoker oh hi bo hi that's right he's got a love interest but their face sizes are so much different also what's up with his eyes she blinks like one at a time but look at her face sizes he could probably fit this woman's whole head in his mouth it's not the only thing he could fit in his mouth if you know what i'm saying all right know their toys okay dylan what do you say i get someone else to watch the sheep tonight hell yeah i'm just a couple of blocks away yeah blocks are wet that's funny clever pun hey woody come on stop you little creep egg look at this creepy face bro he's the police force this this is the film that taught me don't trust the police tuesday night's plastic corrosion awareness meeting was i think a big success and so this is why it's so good to revisit all these films when you're a grown person because i almost get this joke now right tuesday night's plastic corrosion awareness meeting he's saying like adult stuff i think there's probably a joke here on the bookshelf feet oh it's a oh what reporting feet fun is that a feed pod kid's gonna grow up with some weird kinks i'm telling you that now oh i love this so much the army men cool ranch and barbecue oh i would have loved that they did like a oh greg no afterwards after the mom walks away just like the mangled body and remains he's like go on without me oh oh ah hey go on without me go on okay i don't know if i like recall that from 20 years ago or if i'm just like really good at being a writer it could be it's probably the first part [Music] i'm just looking for dirty jokes i saw forest fantasy and i was like oh raunchy joke alert nope it's just like water once each and every day we've got a lunchbox box okay okay what the kid that kid i was about to make that joke you [ __ ] dumb ass potato you got [ __ ] dumb ears i don't know i don't know how to insult the potato oh what do we have here oh what could that possibly be andy's coming back to your places hurry watch this watch this bear watch this bear run brutal brutal look at her face she she doesn't want that beta male woody she's like oh you got tossed aside you're not a real man are you have you been replaced hey no one is getting replaced the adult themes of like being replaced and um all the other big themes those are like crazy prevalent in this film also i got sour patch kids again i've been boycotting sour patch kids for quite a while now so much so that uh these expired uh in july last year july 2020. i wonder if they're still good let's test it out man what's in it that could possibly explain oh i guess let's give it a try [Music] and there seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere okay and these toys all right everyone i gotta get fresh ones i hate two of these sour patch kids and i feel horrible now my arm is like a little bit feeling weird what the [ __ ] did these sour patch kids do to me wait heart heart attack is when you can't feel your right arm right uh oh okay okay you're fine arm you're fine i protect the galaxy from the spread of invasion oh really i'm from play school and i'm from i came up swallowed back out what has happened to me oh that was a genuine reaction i was like i'm impressed i'm as dumb as a [ __ ] potato [Music] why are his cheeks flapping he's got a helmet on wouldn't that block any airflow i found my moving buddy you little [ __ ] she's flirting with woody she's like hey i'll find a a shepherd for my sheep tonight if you want to shepherd your woody into my peephole that was like half an hour ago and now she's like oh i found my moving partner that wasn't flying that was falling with style bob i'm still andy's favorite toy oh this is some real jealousy and it gets dark doesn't he try to murder buzz i think he literally tries to assassinate buzz lightyear just [ __ ] left woody [Music] he's sleeping with the new man tough tough scene woody i'm woody howdy hodie hodie aha give me that he's so irritable man woody was so unlikable even before the murder attempts hey ooh well so you want to do it the hard way huh don't even think about it cowboy oh yeah tough guy buzz looking alien he's such a dick it's sad oh sid sid is literally the like i am a peaceful person and i was a peaceful child i didn't get into fights but the first time i ever saw sid i knew i wanted violence in my life i knew i wanted to meet him in the streets and beat the living [ __ ] out of him everything about him the emo shirts the buzz cuts the [ __ ] angry dog sidekick like even as an adult like i think if i saw a child version of this i would i would be tempted you know just one quick one or at least i like if we were walking in opposite directions i just like bumped him you know what i mean like oh lost my balance little [ __ ] spit on him ah the braces too he tried to crush him with the cinder block why put a firecracker on its back and then crush it with a cinder block what a dumb child we've got trouble trouble a helpless toy he's trapped buzz just [Music] [Applause] oh it was an accident okay so he was just trying to harm him he wasn't trying to kill him he's saying that this was no accident what do you mean i mean humpty dumpty was pushed by woody [Music] there's some village justice right here this is a witch hunt all the gallows oh that's [ __ ] up you're alive this is great i'm saved i'm saved i love that he doesn't give a [ __ ] that buzz is alive he's like oh salvation for me because i'm not a murderer because of you the security of this entire universe is in jeopardy what what are you talking about you are a toy you are a sad strange little man i can't show my face in that room without buzz he's still thinking about himself oh the toolbox wait do toys experience pain because andy was like tossing woody around like crazy before and he wasn't showing any signs of pain so like i don't know if they feel pain who's in charge here [Music] oh no oh his teeth are jacked let's go home and play he's the punisher i guess okay oh no oh anna look janie she's sick of my operations this kid is straight up gonna grow up to be a psychopath he's gonna grow up to be a killer look how many locks he has on his door parents what you allow five different locks what does it say i heart explosives parents where are you at your kid why is his barbed wire on his bed skin is weird your kid is gonna kill someone i'm looking for like a nazi symbol it's here somewhere patient is why would you allow your kid what is your kid gonna need one of these like clamps for doctor you've done it this kid is so messed up like i get it's like disney and it's like for toys toys are scared of this guy i'm scared of this kid he literally will take toys apart and sew them back together in grotesque ways oh that's gonna be some freaky ass [ __ ] oh it's like a crab baby or something hi there little fella oh come out here do you know a way out of here it's like it's a spider-like baby ah he's not here mom woody's gone oh slink i hope he's okay he tried to murder someone and now i think she's like turned on because he's a bad boy now he's like a felon i think at first she was like i might be attracted to buzz because he's the new sexy hot toy but then she realizes he's a goody two-shoes not interested that she's back onto woody we have ways of making me talk doesn't he burn a hole in his face [Music] come in buzz oh my god this is [Music] not a flying toy made in taiwan not even a us toy you poor [ __ ] oh the song don't kill me with his head hung low [Music] oh he tries flying too i'm not ready for this emotionally i'm not ready he sees the bird he thinks he can i'm getting chills thinking about this this has so much impact on me as a kid he's like no i've been told my limitations are i will exceed them i can do it he climbs he gets to the railing extends his wings puts his arms out and he makes the leap and this moment [Music] oh it's not his wing it's his whole arm fell off i don't know why the lights flashing just like add some extra sad what colors are these lights green red green red green red green red [Music] buzz hey i love how woody runs it's all limbs and arms failing you find yourself sucking down darjeeling with marie antoinette marie antoinette is that what he said is maria antoinette did was she decapitated ah take it to the guillotine ah what a [ __ ] history joke you've had enough tea for today let's go i didn't realize he was drunk i thought i always thought he was like uh just like he lost his mind because he couldn't deal with his reality it's not what he thought it was hey guys it's woody he's in the psycho's bedroom i don't understand like they can survive falls buzz fell out of the window before he's fine woody's been batted around thrown yeah his face was burning a little bit ago like they can survive some damage they're pretty durable let me look let me look there's a fence yeah there's a fence i guess you could now you can run around the fence huh i got it how strong is woody cause he's small so to have the the muscular strength to lift something that's probably heavier than he is and to throw it on a line some uh what is this like 25 30 feet that's impressive have you forgotten what he did to buzz and now you want to let him back over here no no no buzz is right here he's with me you are a liar buzz will you get up here and give me a hand hi fellas to infinity and beyond hey look it's buzz hey look it's buzz that's so stupid nothing no no no no no he pulls the shade i don't i don't get why you just don't jump out the window though you're not gonna get on your monsters hey they fixed you but they're cannibals we saw them eat those other toys oh don't judge a book by its cover woody oh that thing is freaky though what sort of insect toy do you come from is that an insectoid or is that just like a an insect's actual head put on a toy tomorrow's forecast sunny wow whoever voice acted this little [ __ ] kid deserves an award for how much i want to beat the [ __ ] out of a fictional thing oh what a sad sleeping position you're a buzz lightyear you are a cool toy unlike me oh skit so good as a matter of fact you're too cool all i can do is there's a snake why would andy ever want to play with me that was a pretty loud conversation that they were having and i thought maybe like humans couldn't hear the toys when they talked but what he was like hannah i came downstairs and hannah heard that and thought that it was her mother hannah johanna mom so i was a pretty loud voice and he was just yelling at buzz get over here and see if he can get this toolbox off me it's not like the kid was in a like a really healthy deep sleeping position the man was sleeping with his ass hanging in the air oh that toolbox you saw the kid in the background this is gonna make a lot of noise look at the kids sleeping over here hey i'm out almost there okay it does wake him up oh no it doesn't and he sleeps with his shoes on the hell is wrong with that kid time for liftoff he's gonna be blown to bits in a few minutes all because of me if a kid has one of these in his room he's a psycho like this kid has all the red flags this kid is like uh he's going to jail at some point probably for a hate crime please come on woody when him over he's my friend he's the only one i've got i think i know what to do they're gonna mentally scar this child i can't wait i can't wait this kid's just gonna have emotional trauma it's the best it's such a smart move to not move any of his facial muscles and then save it for effect at the end [Music] oh that's that's the worst one so play nice that's horror but if i was like a badass nine-year-old i would just start [ __ ] punching my toys i would beat this [ __ ] out of my toys like one fully grown human versus toys who are like up to your ankle come on nice work fellas good job nice work fellas that's a lot of therapy that kid's gonna need woody the van quick just go i'll catch up just the moment i mean he's had moments but that moment there to risk his own ass to save buzz that was nice that looks like angry at the toys too how fast is this vehicle going probably like 25 miles an hour woody is running 25 miles an hour that's like faster than the fastest human you could do it woody you shouldn't be able to maybe sid was right to be afraid of the toys because woody's super strong super fast take care of andy barbie no he's like no [ __ ] andy woody [Music] like honestly [ __ ] them [Music] that's not how these work so woody spun around so like maybe his hand was like as he was spinning he turned the thing but if he gets jumped on that doesn't mean this feels the effect of woody maybe throw the remote of an rc car the rc car also doesn't get thrown like ah this bothers me so much that's not how this works at all [Music] all right they literally just threw him overboard that's so messed up like how do you come back how do you repair these relationships this is the second time they ditched him the first time they ditched him uh well actually they intended to throw him out of a window which a fair eye for an eye type of situation but then he was at a known toy torturer's house asking to be saved and they're like no you deserve worse than death you deserve torture for knocking buzz out of a window and buzz is probably fine they left him to die and then now they throw him out of a moving vehicle [ __ ] all these toys i'm so upset at them guys what he's writing i see you don't have a mouth but no you should be able to talk the toys in in sid's room weren't able to talk the driver feels that 100 you feel your vehicle dragging like that at the very least you look outside of your side mirrors and see sparks flying no great woody the rocket a rocket [Applause] how do they light it with the sun something with the sun woody look at how that comes full circle is that enough to light up a rocket that's a lot of traffic on this street there was one car that passed you by because it was the moving truck and then one car that passed by blew out the match and no other traffic and now you're telling me that just like suddenly there's 12 cars on the road 12 like 30 cars yeah you deserve it you [ __ ] no your plastic wings are not strong enough to cut through duct tape and what is this he can catch a current okay okay hey buzz you're flying this isn't no he's falling with style guys we missed the truck oh how do i remember this i literally can't remember things that happened like a week ago but i can remember vividly some of the stuff that happens in this movie buzz we missed the truck we're not waiting for the truck you dumb [ __ ] how you are the stupidest kid ever you must have looked inside this box sitting right next to you at some point on this long car ride this is the longest car ride of all time where are they moving to because they've been in the car for a while but they were like sitting on top and they like there's nothing else in here that's such a good enemies to friends storyline disney just nailed it oh now buzz what could andy possibly get that is worse than you [Music] friend i love this movie this movie's so good man they really fit a lot of arcs of this movie into an hour 20 minutes you had a whole story where woody was the good guy became the villain and then had a redemption arc he never covered the fact that woody was then betrayed by his allies twice like the first time when they were ready to throw him out the window fair i can understand that you can move beyond that leaving him to be tortured by the enemy that is a whole new level of [ __ ] up and then to throw him out of a moving vehicle that's just i there's no coming back they really had the whole like don't judge a book by its cover oh these toys are so messed up man thank you guys for watching i'll see you in the next one toodles

Channel: Dylan Is In Trouble

Views: 1,417,417

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Id: 5re8yt_f944

Length: 25min 20sec (1520 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 12 2021