How good is *PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN*??

hello troublemakers welcome back to another movie commentary monday i want to take a moment to indulge myself and highlighted comments on my most recent video which of course was the big bang theory first and last amy b says it's crazy how consistent this man's upload schedule is amy i want to say thank you quite frankly i'm a little bit insulted it's not talked about more i have uploaded a movie commentary video every monday for the last several years and no one talks about it can i get a little credit please no no no you don't need to apologize if you want to show me your gratitude for how consistent i am with these movie commentary monday videos then you could just hit the like button on this video today of course is monday so thank you for coming back and tuning in pirates of the caribbean or caribbean if you don't know how to say the word is a johnny depp movie and if you don't know what's by going on with johnny depp he was embroiled in a lawsuit we're gonna watch pirates of the caribbean though today because i have to it's in my head now every article pirates of the caribbean star johnny depp and i'm like ah i want to watch that movie again i'm just so easy to market to you just gotta say the thing and which is why we have no recommendation policy it's just simply too easy to get in my head oh my nose right now i genuinely forget every time this film came out in 2003 so i was only one year old when this came out i barely remember it i was born in 2002 so because i remember so little because i was a small little babe i thought it'd be fun to revisit this so let's watch it man and it's only in 480p i love it 2003 it was such a good time mostly because i was just born so there's a great era of humanity oh i'm in a shot uh oh who's behind her it's her father right all right oh oh it's wolverine consider the mart consider the marx i'm so british i think it'd be rather exciting to meet a pirate think again miss one yeah you dumb child oh no it's a young boy oh young there's a lady in the water get the boy from the water ah the wreckage here we go pirates hi matey so now they're gonna go try to save the semen my name's elizabeth wilton oh that necklace is like it's worth something oh look at that transition huh now we're adults and she's kept it all these years collecting dust on the how is that collected dust it's got cover i don't care i'm just sitting here like would it collect dust if and then i'm like wait i don't care at all she just stole that so how old is she supposed to be and how was she how many years had passed by eight eight years i guess i have a gift for you oh oh it's a nice fancy dress my inquires to the occasion you may what i don't think i could ever have servants because they just sit there waiting for commands and you're just like go on go leave peasant i don't could you ever i couldn't imagine doing that to a person leave us pee now go on fetch the dip the butter i was like what would i have my servant's fetch and i could only think of butter i don't know why i had hoped you might wear it for the ceremony today commodore laurington fine gentleman don't you think ah yep he fancies you it doesn't matter she's in love ah there he is oh he's a blacksmith the blade is folded steel do pass my compliments on to your master i shall uh oh a dream about you last night about the day we met do you remember how could i forget this one oh how you were passed out for most of the time so call me elizabeth at least once more miss one as always oh god they are so hot for each other you just hear it in the way they talk they're like desperate for each other i know who this is this is a man who's about to win a lawsuit this just actually reminds me i used to do it like in college i used to do the best jack sparrow impression let's see if i still got it all right our matey you should walk the plank wow i still got it ah atmospheric look at this just look at this the atmosphere is impeccable oh did you hear that the sound effect it's so rare that a sound effect just it sounds so perfect listen to this sword on sheathing oh oh that just turned me on i have a moment oh he's like he's so dry he's so boring he's she's trying to win her over but he's like a he's like a saltine cracker i uh apologize if i seem forward for marriage to a fine woman oh no sir you have become a fine woman oh yeah you were you were an adult you were an adult on a ship when she was a kid we saw you sir you were like an employee of it you were like old enough to be working on the ship in a high ranking position you can't watch a kid grow up and then which is of age be like all right time to time time time it's time that's just too creepy i've watched you become a fired woman yeah that's the problem you see me as a kid off-limits sir i'm a bit nervous myself elizabeth elizabeth will you be saving her then i can't swim oh see this shows he's a good guy right incredible form oh wait what wait does the coin draw in the okay okay so the story the reason i remember anything from the story is just kingdom hearts aren't there like a bunch of dead they need the coins to die like they're all living dead and they just want to rest peacefully or unless they turn alive again or something i don't know do you really intend to kill my rescuer no additional shots nor powder what are they so afraid of is he gonna like crush her throat does he have the strength does he have the power to just like he would that's like a lot of force you'd need i feel like they could still just like tackle instead they give him a weapon they give him his gun oh wow jack sparrow is incredibly intelligent to just see like he's like i don't need my hostage anymore because i'm so confident this is going to work out so he just he just flicks a thing and then he flies oh he's able to see like several steps ahead that's impressive look at this he's swinging to safety now yeah they can't hit him he planned for this right yup see look at that incredible planning and now he's in a zip line oh my god this skill oh this is the blacksmith this is will turner i could be wrong but there's a fight scene here i was wondering so before when when keira knightley's dad was like tell your master he did such a good job on the the blade work will looked upset like almost like he wasn't getting the credit but he was like no i let him know that he did a great job but it's gonna turn out that he's actually a drunk and a horrible blacksmith and wheel's been doing all the work [Music] i was gonna try to crush through the power of donkey he's gonna try to cross his chains i don't think that's gonna work i stand corrected right where i left you exactly you're doing all the work aren't you getting none of the credit oh you know where i left you yeah you didn't leave that there did you now you know there's an intruder whose head is that how will bye sexy fights are sexy man all of the sound effects that's so creative oh this is so fun oh my god i remember this so well like this is actually stuck in my brain how fun this is this is so fun oh my god fight choreographer legendary stuff here you've assisted in the capture of a dangerous fugitive just doing my civic duty sign there you go miss it's a difficult day for you i'm sure what was this trick there there you go miss so they put hot embers hot wood embers there you go into the aren't that doesn't that burn the mattress well i meant you're being threatened by that pirate sounds terrifying she wasn't terrified she was turned on yes it was terrifying ah yeah did you hear that that's a girl who's turned out if i've ever seen one i actually don't know if i have ever seen one oh god damn why is everyone so attractive in this movie you can have all the adults running around screaming and i'm like yeah fun chaos you have a kid crying for his mom because he doesn't know what's going on i'm gonna like lose it how sad is this little boy great acting on his part watch him scream one more time if you don't feel anything you're a sociopath oh axe to the back but they can't die can they right they're like immortal but against their will hello chump oh this is a disney movie wait what is this oh it is pg-13 i was gonna say you saw his body drop hello chump boom oh he did as [ __ ] hello poppy oh that's frightening say goodbye goodbye goodbye oh it's too cheesy the deepest circle of hell is reserved for betrayers and mutineer oh yep so there is a curse so did they betray him um okay i actually don't remember this part of the story let me give you a little slack i was one year old when i first saw this so ah this is solomon sebastian solomon she's invoked around the parlay with captain barbosa captain solomon bartosso oh monkey what's the monkey's name travis travis and solomon bartoso i remember them yes i do i'll drop it oh no it's not like we could jump in immediately after and and grab it even if it sinks you're all dead you can just swim down to the bottom grab it i recognize this ship i saw it eight years ago on the crossing from england what did i say hey it's prominent how many years has it been about eight 20 years have passed by eight eight years i guess what i guess what a skilled guess you have a name elizabeth turner miss turner the booster oh so they think oh man it's messy but i think will's father is like also a pirate and because she has the thing they think she's the child of bootstrap turner so ironically her giving the alias was worse than just giving her real name because they don't care about the governor's daughter they've taken elizabeth remove this man remove this man he's such a saltine cracker that's not good enough oh mr turner he literally won't even look at will turner does he know he's a romantic rival or does he just have like the superiority complex do not make the mistake of thinking you are the only man here who cares for elizabeth ah he does know and you gotta recognize you're not you're like an average looking dude and that's orlando bloom just at his peak handsomeness you know what's your name will turner no doubt name for your father right yes oh i can't believe i remember this i just remember thinking like the science i don't know if the science of this even works out this is either madness or brilliance everyone stay calm we are taking over the ship this ship cannot be crewed by two men you know what i i began working on a pirate novel some years ago which i never finished surprisingly shut up and i was just thinking like you need a crew to properly run and sail a ship like a minimum of like 10 men that is without doubt the worst pirate i have ever seen so it's every cabin every hole down to the belgium and they're gonna steal the other [ __ ] the smaller one that's back to the interceptor now how much fun was that guy's date that's something i must have last night that's got to be the best pirate i've ever seen so it would seem this is so much fun and the score [Music] you knew my father probably one of the few who knew him as william turner everyone else just called him bootstrap or booster bill just the aggressive rack focus so we got the focus on her and then we got the blur on the back of jack sparrow and then as slap comically out of focus and in focus that's known as a rack focus when you focus on one thing and then you change the focus so that the thing that was in focus before is now blurred and i think that was blurred before is not focused a little bit cartoonish to do that with the uh with the slab but it's disney it's fun it's a swashbuckling adventure that was for the smell ah yeah see here here's the thing you don't really talk about or think about with pirates smell they probably smell so bad why why were showers invented do they have i don't think they had showers they had baths but they didn't have showers seven probably had like a general stink to them and pirates they're just criminals on this oh they probably stink so bad everyone's like oh pirate pirates must be so fun to be a pirate yeah if you want to smell all day and also think about this what's there to do on a pirate ship you raid how often do you raid once a month a lot of time you're on the sea looking for ships to hit a lot of down time a lot of just laying back doing nothing do you know what these pirates did they just laid in their bunks looked at the water you know what i would have told these pirates if i'd lived back then i would have said hey you guys should sign up for audible today sponsor our ladies this video is sponsored by audible let me ask you something laddie that's irish i'm an irish pirate okay do you ever find yourself on the open seas under the watchful gaze of poseidon just bored to the stilts he be lucky laddie because a lad over here has a deal for your audible is the world's largest collection of spoken word entertainment spoken word ever heard of it [Music] audiobooks podcasts endless hours of content all at your fingertips i know for myself if i were out at sea for weeks on end there is nothing more that i would love to do than to listen to an audiobook about a cancerous snarky teenage girl who falls in love with the guy who puts a cigarette in between his lips but he never likes it why well you have to listen to the audiobook to find out for yourself and let me help you i'll give it to you for free head to audible.com dylan is in trouble that link is in the description or you can otherwise text dylan is in trouble to 500-500 just another easy way to get started and you will get a free audio book of your choice that you get to keep forever you want the fault in our stars it's yours free you want anything else yours free go over to audible and take a look peruse for yourself if you find something you like use my link you'll get it for free it's like i'm buying it for you audiobooks on me everybody first one's free and then every month here on after that you're signed up you'll get an additional credit to spend on any audio book of your choosing audible.com is in trouble you get a 30-day trial as well as a free audiobook to listen to whatever you like thank you audible for sponsoring this video let's get back to pirates of the caribbean what makes you think bob boswell give up his ship to you oh he's he's gonna barter will that is the child of bootstrap bill turner his only child okay so to summarize what i think is going on so i think jack sparrow believes that barbosa and travis they're searching for will but really they're searching for will's necklace but they already have wheels necklace but jack sparrow doesn't know that because barbosa and travis they think they think they have bootstraps as child when it's a girl not a boy so i think jack's gonna try to trade will but they they don't need him maybe i could be wrong about that i can't help but smile i don't know something about pirate stories are just so fun try the wine and the apples one of those next it's poisoned there would be no sense to be killing you miss turner it's poi yeah cause they couldn't just [ __ ] stab you and throw you overboard right it's poison why would you think it's a point the only reason you needed poison is to like kill discreetly subtly in a way that wouldn't arouse suspicion why would you say oh you're dumb so the heathen guards placed upon the gold a curse a terrible curse a terrible one an immortal that removes but a single piece from that stone chest shall be punished for eternity i may d i hardly believe in ghost stories anymore captain publisher all the scattered pieces of the aztec gold must be restored and the blood rebate they need the blood of will why though i don't know oh nightmare fuel i feel like this is kind of like a good halloween movie this is this would be a fun movie to throw into your rotation every halloween it's got that horror element but it's also like safe ah travis what happened you best start believing in ghost stories miss turner you're in one oh a little line oh this movie is so good so now we're here that's the last piece of gold but they're gonna try to use her blood but it doesn't work pretty sure that's the sequence of events a maroon jack on an island and left him to die when a pirate's marooned he's given a pistol with a single shot a jack he escaped the island and he still has that single shot he won't use it though save on one man he's mutinous first mate travis barbosa oh oh right now they have all the treasure that they stole they've spent the last 10 years retrieving it it's all here now and they think her blood is going to save them once we're quitter the curse will be rich men oh so they don't die with the curse not yet oh travis you alerted travis a huge mistake he's gonna uncover you now i thought that we're gonna just slice her hand and then like drip her blood onto the uh the gold and then nothing was gonna happen they're gonna be like oh but i think he's gonna slit her through which is kind of like what a pirate would do sorry jack i'm not gonna be you will be rich oh he knows he knows jack was gonna betray him oh so he does cut her hand he bit her over i thought he was gonna go for the jugular and all the blows gonna come rushing over it he's such a nice pirate wrong blood bro wrong blood did it work how do we tell you're not dead he's shocked now what's your father william turner no you're sure he said bootstrapped to the deck what happened we sharing bootstrapped to the decks i don't know why they need will's blood and i don't know that we're gonna get an answer to it you're supposed to be dead he got it in the head it's funny that's the one how the blazes did you get off that island you forgot one very important thing i'm jack sparrow i'm captain jack sparrow kill him why do they what see that's the thing is they mutineered against him you need they went against him marooned him and then went to go get the gold so honestly they should probably turn back to jack to help save them why do they want to kill him so bad yeah let me oh you said you gave barbosa my name as yours why because she wants to marry you i'm sorry blacksmith's fans they're so [ __ ] attractive they're good-looking in real life true but specifically in this world with this makeup with this atmosphere these are like the most attractive people to ever exist orlando bloom and kira knightley in parts of the caribbean specifically like the scale doesn't go high enough to account for them like they are they are beyond i don't know these are gods but don't stop it's yours i thought i'd lost it the day they rescued me she stole it all this time she's a little thief why did you take it yeah answer because i was afraid that you were a pirate it wasn't your blood they needed oh he's over it ah it was my father's blood my blood my blood he i'm so good at predicting lines of this movie i've seen before so you expect to leave me standing on some beach with nothing but a name and your word it's the one i need so am i under the the correct impression they don't know the name of bootstrap turner they don't know his first name william which is also his son's name so in exchange for the ship essentially jack is offering the name will which is the father's name which somehow they don't know which is crazy this is the fastest ship in the caribbean caribbean did she say caribbe oh god lady oh my god close oh how are you how are you supposed to find a tiny medallion necklace now that the the cabin is flooded there's just debris every oh what a nightmare no how does he find this they can't die they're immortal why are you shooting them who decided to fight them that was a dumb strategy oh the magic monkey has it well that monkey's got a nose for gold where's the medallion she's been captive on a ship for how many days look at those nails did they give her like a nail file to just like perfectly shape them every day oh she's got some pretty ass hands though like i'm not i'm not saying like i'm into that thing specifically it's like it's not like a thing it's not like i'm like oh hands yes but it's like when i see a good set of hands i'm gonna point it out okay but thank you you're welcome not you we named the monkey jack jack travis jack that's a weird name it's a weird full name for a monkey i will that doesn't seem ashamed to lose something so fine so i'll be having that dress back [Music] it goes with your black heart oh you really hit him where it hurts oh no she thinks i have a bad heart oh no [Applause] i think this guy to be honest i don't blame him all that much orlando bloom looks so good in this movie but he is just like what is this what is this he's like about to about to lick his ear oh he's about to get in his drum he's about to rim that drum you know what i'm talking about i'm so uncomfortable perhaps she'll be able to conjure up another miraculous escape the run runners use this island as a cash they've long been out of business inner monologue dylan here so i hear a noise and i pause the movie you hear that what is that i try to take my headphones off that's the people above me right it's gotta be unless it's coming from your own apartment did you lock a door is someone robbing you right now what if they kick the door down and kill you right now dylan and then i make the bold decision to not care if they were gonna burst in and kill me they would have done it by now so i just figured let's get back to the movie oh she got an idea what's her plan to get him why no what's her plan she's got an idea then you will be positively the most fearsome pirates in the spanish maze must be really terrible for you to be trapped on this island is there her strategy to like inspire him is that her goal to freedom nope her goal is to get him drunk she's got a yeah she's got a strategy i can't imagine what it would would be why would him being passed down help at all oh no wait she set fire to the alcohol yes the run is gone why is the rum gone that signal is over a thousand feet high the entire royal navy is out looking for me do you give it one hour maybe two what's the shooter because she burned the room that's so funny commodore i beg you please do this as a wedding gift oh she'll marry him if she if he saves her other love oh that's a good strategy cause you could just let will die and then have her father continually over the next however many days weeks months years get in her ear about marrying you i thought that gets a bad i'd say no i'd say no dog never sat well with bootstrap what we did to jack sparrow the mutiny and all oh he said he wasn't right with the code ah he said we deserve to be cursed last we saw of old bill turner he was sinking to the crushing black oblivion of davey jones locker of course it was only after that we know we needed his blood to lift the curse why do they need his blood though i must have missed that part this movie's too well done to have like a loophole i'll be just like oh well they just need it because they need it right so there's a reason all right okay now they're really going to slip the throat this is so funny like they just keep stranding them and it keeps coming back and just strolls in you don't want to be doing that mate your funeral [Laughter] why don't i want to be doing it pride of the royal navy is floating just offshore wait to lift the curse until the opportune moment for instance after you've killed norrington's men you've been planning this from the beginning ever since you learned my name oh they think work so well together he's just like reading jack and he knows the plans oh love it bromance but they hate each other we're kind of bromance but ah yeah see they can basically breathe underwater because they can't die or they're not alive right so why were they so afraid before of her dropping the thing on the bottom of the ocean i guess maybe they would lose it i could get covered in sand easily no no because the thing calls to them the gold calls so they would be able to find it it's like sonar they could like hone in on it there really is a lot of death in this which makes it a top-tier disney film skeleton's fighting a bunch of semen it's like a great battle set up all right so you got the big battle out of the boats and then they got will and jack against barbosa i wish travis had an even like a dagger and they could have like battled him all right just just a little small complaint did you hear that cry ah imagine punching someone and that's what you hear ah travis calm down did she beat up the monkey okay okay okay okay okay so there's some trickery so jack stole one of the medallions so i think he's technically under the curse oh yeah see okay he's dead he's technically cursed see i thought maybe he would be able to be cursed because the initial curse because all these pirates they went out and spent these coins years ago before they knew there was a curse so all the people that then took it as payments they weren't cursed because they had the coin right like elizabeth wasn't cursed the entire time because she would held onto the coin i guess maybe you feel like you knowingly steal a coin from the original box that came i don't know what the rules are technically jack must have because he knew this was gonna be the outcome so now will i think slits his hand the last of the coins in there so the curse is lifted then he shoots over yeah that's interesting why are they even fighting like neither can defeat the other oh in and out of the moonlight that's so cool we we'd be two immortals locked in battle so i'm saying why are they coming to the ship what are you gonna do you're just gonna get killed what's the use what's the use here i'm gonna if you're delivering it [Music] nope nope that was jack 10 years you carry that pistol now you waste your shot nope it's not a wasted shot he didn't waste it well he hasn't dropped it yet let me see this okay now i need an explanation he shot him while he was still immortal but i get maybe the bullet was lodged in his heart i guess i don't know like when they suffer injury while they're immortal does it like regenerate does they need a little bit of time i assume i don't i don't know [Music] oh my bad they got lucky though i was about to say like my bad the guys coming back to the ship to fight was actually a good decision but it's not they just got lucky with timing they didn't know that the curse was gonna be lifted i don't even know if they knew about the curse like i knew they they had heard about it but i don't know if they actually believed it oh god damn it's just not looking at each other you two are too attractive you can't be in the same room together it's unfair your fiance will be wanting to know you're safe she's not going to marry him jack sparrow knowing that you have captain captain jack is that will oh that hat suits it man what you're saying something cause that hat doesn't shoot anybody i should have told you every day from the moment i met you i love you oh i love how inept all these people with guns are you forget your place turner it's right here between you and jack oh what a line oh her too this is mine that's gotta sting i actually feel a little bit bad because she made a promise she made an agreement i'll marry you if you save will and then you save will and now she's like you know what i'm actually just gonna go with will sorry that is mean so this is where your heart truly lies then ah shut up saltine elizabeth it would never have worked between us darling there she be what's your plan of action sir uh-oh pursuing the right course demands an act of piracy piracy itself can be the right course well he didn't get the girl but at least he learned a lesson which is more valuable than a hot wife would be so who really won here i think saltine ends up on top we can all agree this is a beautiful sword i would expect the man who made it to show the same care and devotion in every aspect of his life oh he's a good guy he's giving up his woman commodore what about sparrow well i think we can afford to give him one day's head start i feel like his men got to respect him a little bit less like he he just saw the woman he was betrothed to choose another man a man who just committed a serious crime of stopping an execution of a renowned pirate who then escaped because of the help of the man your woman declared her love for i ah and all your men watch that and then they're like hey we should probably go after the dangerous pirates who we've been chasing and he's like yeah maybe it's just like depression he's like i'm gonna go cry today we'll do it tomorrow ah i think that's the sexiest kiss i've ever seen in my life not from the kiss itself but just the accumulative score of both parties they're so attractive and there she be the movie over it what a joy that was to watch that was genuinely such a good time i think that's what this movie did really well there would be times where they drop in a little bit of information here a little bit of information there but it was always in this grand scheme of like there was a missions and goals and there was so much that happens and i think that's what kept it interesting it was a it's almost two and a half hours long but they always manage to keep it interesting because there's always something happening always schemes always plans that's what makes jack such a good character it's just like he's always thinking always planning don't forget to head to audible.com dylan is in trouble scallywags thank you for watching and of course i'll see you next monday which is when the next movie commentary monday will be released i'll see you then mate oh just another jack sparrow impression toodles

Channel: Dylan Is In Trouble

Views: 1,600,258

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Id: UyhJT5qo8Qc

Length: 33min 3sec (1983 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 23 2022