The Tweet Song - Tim Hawkins & Jonnie W.

well we want to do something together if we could Jim and I are both on a little Oh website called twitter.com not if you guys have the internet yet in Lexington but it is really taken off you can find us there and follow us and sometimes we get to tweet things out you have to be very short and succinct on 283 140 characters is all you get you've makes you a better writer and then you have all these little weird random thoughts though that have no place in your act or frankly society and so since Tim and I both do music we kind of got together on this and said well let's put them in the show call it the tweet song and that's what this is and we hope that you enjoy it but we're really not counting on it I want to host a game show where redneck contestants answer trivia questions for cash in prizes and wrong answers cost them their hair it's called mullet over the other day I played frisbee golf or golf frisbee or whatever you call flinging a 9-iron into the woods people who don't believe in autocorrect go straight to heal I quit using autocorrect and it's totally changed everything giving out a UFC fighter came to our show he offered to train me but I told him really more of a KFC fighter good friends are like fine wine that's why I keep mine locked in the cellar if you're illiterate you probably live your life by a set of unwritten rules it's a Newland I like that one I try to live every day as if it were my first so I take really long naps and cry a lot till somebody brings me milk a tiny meteorite is reportedly headed straight for Legoland the devastation is expected to span 50 square blocks whoa please make Lord of the Rings for and please let Phil from duck dynasty be Gandalf please Gandalf what should we do well looks like we need to go to Mordor and sauron's not gonna be happy happy happy if VeggieTales ever does an episode about the disciple who betrayed Jesus I really hope they call him Judas is a carrot that's funny right there I can't hear you know who you are you don't think I was bought at all whenever I want to be left alone I go to the mall and hold a clipboard Arizona makes me nauseous but it's a dry heat Old MacDonald was dyslexic oh eyyy eyyy just checking father and grandfather both work to the DMV so I come from a long line of long lines good friends are like fine wine that's why I keep mine locked in the cellar that was a retweet Jolly Ranchers a weird name for a candy if you meet a rancher who's jolly chances are good he's growing pot kick so we like the pot references a Kentucky okay just trying to feel yeah I love it how you do a veggie tales I heard that recently the man who invented the television remote control passed away they found him at home in between the couch cushions run straight to heal for that one you so my dad was a conjoined twin that's not the joke ma'am you got a lot of nerve my dad was a conjoined twin so we used to refer to his brother as my uncle on my father's side it's okay it's they were surgically separated now he's my uncle once removed Johnny dumpy everybody give a big round of applause

Channel: Greg Pursifull

Views: 1,336,342

Keywords: Tim Hawkins (Musical Artist), tweet song, twitter, funny, tweet

Id: 8f41voxhY3w

Length: 8min 40sec (520 seconds)

Published: Sun May 26 2013