The Worst Things People Overheard While Fake Sleeping

what is the worst thing you've overheard while pretending to be asleep when i was a kid i used to be scared of monsters or something creeping up on me in my sleep so i would always ask my dad to check on me before he went to bed it made me feel more comfortable one night i was still awake when i heard him coming up the stairs and i wasn't supposed to be awake and knew i would get in trouble if he saw me so i pretended to be asleep he came into my room and just kinda stared at me for a few seconds then came up close to my bed lifted the blanket up farted under it turned around and left it's been at least 15 years and i remember that night vividly he vehemently denies it to this day but i know what happened late in the comments here but i heard the news my dad passed away pretending to sleep semicolon i was 12 at the time woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom headed to the kitchen to get some water after and saw my sister sitting on the couch she asked if i could sleep out in the living room with her and i didn't think anything of it woke up the next morning and kept my eyes closed i heard my mom telling my dad's best friend we lost him i won't forget it i pretended to sleep through the doctor sitting at my kitchen table telling my dad he had stage three cancer i was nine he's totally fine now but it really sucked at the time my father telling my mother that sometimes he just wanted to kill me i was five years old when i overheard this being that my dad was an alcoholic and full of rage i believed him and lived my entire childhood believing he was going to kill me freshman college roommate watching prn on his laptop wearing headphones humping his mattress like there's no tomorrow sleeping over at a friend's house when i was 14 all of us on the floor in living room couldn't sleep two of my friends guy and girl directly next to me start doing freaky things to each other i was extremely shy and a couple of years younger than them so i stayed quiet and hoped they'd stop had to listen to them for an hour while she made weird ass moaning squeaky noises and he was singing in a weird slightly whispery sinky voice matchbox 20 songs to her while he did whatever he was doing that was last time i slept over at a friend's house i was dying with meningitis but jokes on the doctors i'm still kicking you ever live just to flex on the haters my grandparents won ten thousand dollars at the casino and they told all of their children and presumably gave them some of that money except my dad my dad is a dick so i didn't tell him either my friends talking about going into my wallet later and steal my money and then leave before i notice no wonder people at school think he's gay my stepmom my mom and i were sharing a hotel room on a trip and unfortunately only had one bed so we had to share that too as i was trying to fall asleep i kept hearing the text tone from my mom's phone going off and her giggling my parents hate each other so i knew it wasn't my dad she was texting with curious i opened my eyes just a little bit to see that she was flirting with other men while on a trip with her family and i was in fact staring at a dick pic i couldn't really go back to sleep after that my older brother in the next room when he snuck a girl in they had sx for about a minute and then i could hear him apologizing for about 20. may not be the worst ever but it's definitely the funniest probably the funniest was on a camping trip with the boys i have sleep apnea and use a pap machine i overheard a couple of my mates talking about smoking a joint and hot boxing me through the air intake of my pap machine on the other side of the coin a friend of mine also slept with a cpap one night the dog was sleeping right next to the table where the machine was sitting the dog ripped super noxious ass which would have been fine friend would have been safe with a mask on were it not for the fact that the fart got sucked up through the air intake woke him straight up out of a dead sleep gagging and gasping for clean air edit holy crap never would i have guessed a friend's unfortunate adventures in canine flatulism would bring such joy to countless thousands oh wait that's right this is the internet semicolon thank you for the awards kind strangers probably my dad's dementia screaming usually nothing is wrong but he'll wake up at four or five in the morning to yell at god and grind his teeth you never do get used to it my mum's boyfriend sloppily trying to fck my mum all drunk ashty whilst we're all sharing the same f king hotel room i was 13. not me but my wife heard her boyfriend having sex with her best friend this was obviously long before we met you can come on my tits or my belly but not inside me this was coming from the top bunk i was on the bottom bunk i snuck out and went somewhere else current objective my mom and aunt talking thinking 10 year old me was asleep aunt little runs n gooses is so cute bomb no he's not very good looking at all i was at my bf's apartment staying over his roommate also happened to have some friends who were dating there as well i was in my bf's room and they were sleeping in the living room they were definitely f king weirdest thing of it all were these little banging sounds like someone was hitting the f king wall the whole time i had to piss like a mother efka but getting to the bathroom involved walking by the living room and i did not want to risk it when we woke up the next morning someone had ripped a chunk out of one of the curtains and the tv remote was snapped in half my mom having an affair with her fiancee's best friend who was married in the same room that i was sleeping in i was like 10 years old edit i was a cam counselor two girls very much like to make hot or not lists one of them suggested a male counselor was hot and the other said he was saying mean things about me behind my back which made him not hot hurt to hear that from my campers but glad they supported me when i was a weetart i pretended to be asleep in the family room so i wouldn't have to actually go to bed and once my parents were distracted i could keep watching tv i then got to hear my dad proposition my mom for couches sex it's been many years so i don't remember exactly what he said but it was something along the lines of hop on pop when i was a kid i was pretending to sleep in the car i was in the back seat next to my older sister i was probably six or seven so she would have been around 13. she let out a raunchy all windows down gag the rest of the car sort of fart it was loud but we were both in the back she immediately blames it on me farting in my sleep the whole car laughs and rolls down their windows and i stayed asleep no one to this day knows that it was her and she still thinks she got away with it i got you sis my sister's soon to be fiance wanking while saying her name at least he wasn't saying someone else's name my family was staying at a friend's house and had to share a room my dad comes to bed hammered and says to my mum something along the lines of does it impress you that i'm this drunk and can still perform the person in the bunk under me beating his dick like it owed him money my mom on a pay phone begging her boyfriend for more heroin edit my mom was driving around town late at night probably trying to score and i was sleeping in the passenger seat she stopped at a parking lot i woke up and pretended to be asleep this was back when pay phones were in convenience store parking lots everywhere mid 90s i did too last i heard my mom is clean and doing well enough i haven't talked to her in almost 20 years it's healthier for me that way something like she's too old for this i'm not going to carry her up to bed anymore and that was the last time i was magically transported from the living room couch to my bedroom my roommate and her fw be having loud dirty talk sx i just had my wisdom teeth out and i think they assumed i was passed out on pain meds my roommates one night stand dismount because his dick was hitting her bladder and she waddled off for a piss before getting back on top roommate's boyfriend and his friend came into my room when they thought i was asleep it was warm and i was sleeping naked with minimal blanket coverage i froze and pretended to sleep they proceeded to talk about my body and how it was anyone's type also how easily it was to drug ladies these days oh and also the friend talked about how easy it would be to steal sell my boyfriend's boat motor that he had stored in the room yeah so they were kicked out and friend became an ex-friend because she was pissed i'd let my boyfriend kick them out comma roommate's boyfriend and his friend came into my room when they thought i was asleep who the fck just enters someone's room like that anyway even if they didn't say a single word that'd be still creepy at fck my sister got drunk and i heard a loud thud and she blacked out two of her friends and my mom and dad were shouting at each other and they were saying to shut up cause they didn't want to wake me up and they were all crying thinking she was dead and i couldn't tell my sister i was happy she didn't die now i appreciate seeing her every week i think she died shut up you're gonna wake up fox fails sounds like the right priority lol my then boyfriend opening up our bedroom door to show me off to his friends while i was sleeping it was the middle of summer so i was lying butt naked on our bed he thought i was asleep huge fight occurred the next morning and we were not dating for long after that event wtf man i'm still pissed off about that you knew i was naked my dad and stepmom was having a foursome with a couple of their friends we were at a summerhouse and they did it in the living room my parents discussing whether or not i was gay and exploring where they went wrong with raising me too many hugs edit this really blew up and i've got a lot of people wondering whether or not i'm gay for the record i am straight and have had sex with a bunch of girls take that mom and dad parents talking about plans for when they were going to have sx old roommates planning to kick me out did they do it on a class trip i heard a girl talk badly about me to the other girls in my room saying i was a retardee and too dumb to stand up for myself she said the only reason she didn't bully me out of this school was because she needed me to help her with my homework then my best friend stood up for me she said that i wasn't dumb and just a bit shy and then told her to f off she's a rhetor d but i need her to help with my hw and feo well my friends sucking each of us dick did you feel left out my airbnb host having loud sx right outside my door they were just entertaining the guests i wasn't pretending to be a sleep person but i was well on my way i was under anesthesia and was fading in and out i remember closing my eyes to help move things along i was in a lot of pain because my appendix ruptured this happened years ago so i can't remember all of the details unfortunately i remember being moved over to an operating table coma and they told me to take my shirt off i think i heard someone go what do you think would happen if i poked her belly button right now i was an outie prior to having an appendectomy they went through my better button so that is no longer the case comma anyway someone very quickly responded dude that is not funny remember what happened the last time it's possible i was starting to dream but i remember it making me feel a mix of amusement and anxiety when i was around eight years old i was supposed to be asleep but i snuck downstairs to get milk or something i heard talking going on downstairs so i stood still and listened my mom was talking to my brother about how much of a problem i was and how she hated me she always liked my brother more i just silently crept back upstairs and cried myself to sleep good times when i was like 10 or 11 i visited my dad and while we were watching a movie i tried to fall asleep and i proceeded to hear him fck his gf on the bed i was trying to sleep on when i woke up all i saw was clothes on the floor before i got divorced was laying in bed late 11am or so on my day off after a long string of i think 10 or so work days in a row my ex who refused to get a job was in the next room playing a video game the moth earthking [ __ ] paying all the bills so you can sit on your ass 24 stroke 7 yikes glad you got out of there had a bunk bed in college and one night my girlfriend and i woke up to my roommate banging some chick on the top bunk my girlfriend asked me what we should do and i just mumbled just go back to sleep because i figured saying something to them at the moment would make things much more awkward bang your girl to assert dominance neighbor guy walking through the house with a couple of his friends showing them how we leave stuff laying around all the time and it was easy to steal things from us without us knowing my mom being upheld by her abusive husband it was on a bunk bed and me and my brother were on the top bunk silently crying i don't talk about it much but it sticks with me edit hey guys bro i wasn't expecting this to blow up so much but it was so wonderful reading everyone's comments it sounds like a lot of people have been through something similar and i'm glad this comment got people to talk about it update on that guy i have no clue where he is i ended up moving in with my dad a couple years after this and never really looked back my mother got away from him shortly after that i did stop talking to my brother again recently and maybe thinking of sharing christmas together this year my walls were thin i could hear almost anything my parents argued in what they thought was a quiet voice about divorce then my dad says you can keep the kid he annoys the f and dollar sign out of me next week they told me and signed the papers edit thank you everyone for the kind words it means a lot to me i do not really miss him much he was mentally abusive and verbally abusive i would sneak out but couldn't bring my mom that was the hardest i'm sad but also glad he is gone since i am an adult i don't have to see him ever again another thing thanks for the award close bracket edit again damn thanks for both the awards i wasn't pretending to be asleep so much as they assumed i was asleep my in-laws thought i was still napping after dropping my kid off at school and they started to sht talk me they said i was a terrible mom i didn't care about my kids at all and they better buy a cake because i would rather sleep all day than make him a cake it was his birthday and my god it was only 10 am it doesn't take that long to make and frost a cake for him anyways i cried in my room for two hours before they left to buy groceries i.e drink themselves into a stupa before i got up and made the cake and birthday dinner my child asked for i didn't tell my husband what they said until a week later because i didn't want to ruin his or my child's day my mom and stepdad talking majesty about me i was in high school and needed to start seeing the counsellor for mental health issues my parents were essentially making fun of me saying that i wanted attention and started mocking my voice saying no one understands me i'm so mistreated rumored getting a [ __ ] the worst part was when i heard him say i'm gonna come legit wanted to die at least he was courteous enough to inform his partner of his forthcoming nut not the worst thing just reminded me of the time i shared a hotel room with my grandfather in ac and he got up in the middle of the night to pee as oldies do and before he went back to sleep he said a prayer out loud for his late wife still gets me every time come on he's asleep okay fine i'll do it but how do i suck it like just let it go in your mouth and stroke it with your tongue close bracket well i'll try oh yeah joking noises coughing fcku had to read this four times to realize they weren't blowing a sleeping dude i just need to get it off my chest you are so hard to love i'm tired of trying to and i just don't have it in me anymore my mom edited for clarification cause i just realized it sounds like a breakup but she came into my room at midnight thinking i was asleep and said this to me in a half whisper i still have a hole in my heart because of it parents divorce was sleeping in a bed with my friend and the guy i liked at the time i got to hear her give him a [ __ ] while he whispered in my ear telling me to wake up went on for a bit before they decided to go to a different room to fck mum and dad were about to have sx oh the horror i was screaming inside glad mom said she was having her period then they were talking about divorce they were so calm when talking about it you

Channel: Reddit Tales

Views: 376,643

Rating: 4.9340324 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, askreddit, top posts, r/askreddit, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, askreddit top posts, ask reddit, subreddit, reddit stories, reddit tales, funny reddit, best reddit posts, best of reddit, askreddit new, askreddit stories, reddit story, askreddit funny, reddit best, funny posts, funny askreddit, r/, reddit funny, people of reddit, stories, updoot, toadfilms, reddit jar, planet reddit, storytime, animated, animated stories, overheard, gossip, drama, bad news, sleep

Id: 3n6peKwvbVU

Length: 20min 6sec (1206 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 27 2020