Psychological Tricks That Will Change Your Life Forever

what is the most effective psychological trick you use one that i picked up from a friend of mine whenever he was trying to pick out dinner with his gf rather than ask what do you want and getting the typical i dunno anything answer and then having suggestions shot down start with what do you not want used it a few times in some of my relationships and it's the godsend question i work front desk in a medical office patients hate updating their paperwork i used to say look through the pages and make any changes they would groan and reluctantly take the paperwork or just complain about it now i say all you have to do is make changes saying it that way makes them think it's not much to do when they take the clipboard without complaint saying hello to everybody you know and with a smile often people who know each other from when they were in primary school or just from the block when they were young give each other an awkward smile instead of a happy good day just imagine if someone walks into you twice a year and both times you smile and greet them enthusiastically they will think of you as a nice person so little effort for a person to find you friendly semicolon when you're talking to someone they will naturally feel silence it's subconscious if you want them to keep talking keep your own mouth shut this is useful if you're ever in a verbal altercation this isn't something i've used but i think it's worth sharing darren brown said that once there was a mustly drunk guy that wanted to beat him up and said the classic what are you looking at darren replied with the wall outside my house is four feet tall the idea is that it puts the aggravated person on the back foot and takes them out of that adrenaline-filled state anyways he sat down and the guy started crying to him about his gf darren brown also suggests for example are you looking at my girl sorry she reminded me of my sister think of my future self how will my future self feel in an hour or two if i skip my gym session will my future self be happy if i do this pile of dishes now before bed or would he prefer to have to do it in the morning before work i have a three month deadline on this project my future self appreciate my current self taking the first three or four weeks easy or will he be really pissed off dutt essentially delayed gratification pretty much all the bad stuff gives us instant gratification while all the good stuff has delayed gratification i always try to remember that if i have to wait to reap the rewards then it's probably the best option i used this technique at university where i couldn't stand the thought of having to answer questions in front of a group of people so if you find yourself in a group situation where someone a leader tutor manager etc is asking questions that must be answered and you want to avoid being picked so that you don't have to talk then here is my tip if the person locks eyes on you as they ask the question then just as they are about get to the end of their question you break eye contact and look towards another person in the room and hold it their attention is diverted to that other person just as the question ends and the person they are now looking at feels compelled to answer if however the person starts asking the question while looking at someone else then look at that other person and hold it so you can't get suckered use it sparingly because if you do it enough on the same person they will be on to you to avoid workplace drama and be well liked is to just compliment people behind their back i would never say this to her face but she's a wonderful person and a gifted artist idk if this is an actual thing or not or maybe just distractions but when i do something annoying or bothersome to my husband and he goes quiet i wait a few minutes and then i ask him a seemingly innocent question usually on the subject of how certain parts of a car works or something mechanical this gets him talking about the car thing and he rambles for like five minutes and then bam he's happy again and not quietly brooding i'll never tell him i do that because i'm afraid it won't work anymore if he knows about it it's foolproof though it works every single time no matter how bothered he is set expectations low and blow people's minds with my mediocrity listening to someone without giving advice or pushing for more information typically nets me more information than being pushy for it when somebody shy is speaking if you look at them and nod your head it encourages them to keep talking i'm a professional poker player when i am in a pot with one other player i often try to make them laugh when they are thinking about what to do if you can get them to laugh it sets them in a mood where they are unlikely to bluff music putting headphones in and playing the music that i know i'd want to hear if i was in the mood that i want to be in shifts me over to that mentally and really helps when i need to calm down or when i need to feel happier in an argument find something to agree on then push your main point when someone is trying to throw excuses or generally if they're getting a bit assy about something often the best way to handle it is to stare back with mild interest and contribute nothing to their monologue if you don't give them anything to work with they'll talk themselves into a corner and lose confidence in what they're saying i learned this trick from an old director who used to control pretty much any meeting room scenario by being the most silent and impassive person in the room i fondly remember the time someone asked him a ridiculous question and he just stared at him for about 15 seconds 15 seconds is a long time to be stared at in a room full of people the guy wilted into his chair and nobody could work out if the director was angry or just quietly mulling it over when you are standing in a group and somebody tells a joke or something funny happens people tend to look towards the person they like the most while laughing my wife calls this the simplest most manipulative thing i do whenever i bump into an acquaintance meaning not friend just a person i know i of course say hi and the conversation goes like this me hey how are you name you look good them laugh thank you i'm good how are you hey i'm great i'm on the way to wherever i am going to at the time and i tell them why too so what are you doing here them go into same detail to tell me where they're going and why me all right well i won't keep you up any longer than i have have a good day name it leaves people feeling good takes away the awkwardness of cutting a convo short and it makes them want to leave if someone says they have the hiccups ask them to prove it 9 stroke 10 times their hiccups will disappear having to summon a hiccup in order to demonstrate will trick your diaphragm into just not hiccuping i've been able to twist it around on myself with some success as well but it takes practice you realize you have hiccups then try to hiccup actively try to make yourself do another one it'll stop if you need to describe someone and get them to communicate asking questions about numbers personal information i work in emergency services if someone is totally distraught and shut down asking their phone number address ssn birth date can pull them out of the emotional place and bring them back to a headspace where they can talk about what happened more easily i often ask these questions even after i have the information just to de-skill it removed anyone here reading through the posts for the sake of using them in the future but an hour later you forget everything you've just read put all your forks in your pantry while reading a good advice i work with a bunch of idiot lawyers and i use the phrase you're correct all the time even if it's one teeny tiny thing they're correct about it makes them feel smart and they instantly soften i speak at conferences all over the world and a lot of the speakers use this in their q and a if there's a particularly hard question to answer they always start with what a great question etc etc generally speaking the asker is so pleased that their question got praised by the speaker in front of all those people that they are less critical of and pay less attention to the actual answer thanking someone for a tree you want from them instead of telling a customer you're sorry for their weight tell them thank you for your patience or understanding works wonders my youngest four got into the y phase a little while back read an article that said the best way to get them to stop was to ask them i'm not sure what do you think it is a godsend they answer their own question you provide some feedback sounds good to me and they immediately move on f king awesome when i ask someone a question and their first response is what dart i just stare at them for a few seconds and 99 of the time they answer my question without me having to repeat myself i think it's just a subconscious reflex people have to ask what instead of answering what you've asked even when they've heard you clearly instead of arguing i start off by agreeing and then state my point of view after addressing the other person's point always ends in a positive interaction edit the idea is to show respect for what the other person thinks assuming that the person isn't a complete [ __ ] they more than likely have a valid point rather than shutting the person down and telling them they're wrong you listen to them then after hearing them out you can bring up your own point of view the goal is to have a respectful exchange of opinions rather than a flat out argument where two people flat out don't agree with each other and leave each other without learning anything from one another when you need to find out a name egg for a lead you say sayo is john still managing up there they go sinnoh it's mark now apostrophe works with anything just use a fake science at your focus outside suet no minds the ferrari smiling semicolon smile at the bartender they'll be more likely to come to you quicker smile at your colleague in the morning and they'll be more open to the request that you've got for them later smile at your kids and they'll feel loved smile at your partner and they'll wonder what they've done that's made you so happy smile at me and i'll smile back and we'll both feel great for a few minutes smile at everyone when you meet them smile in a job interview smile at the shop worker the bin man the postman the random dog walker in the park the person who nearly bumped into you on the street the barista your teacher your mum and your dad smile at yourself in the mirror and give yourself a cheeky wink semicolon writing smile is making me smile and i feel great now so i'm gonna go and get a sandwich thanks for reading colon close bracket semicolon semicolon whenever i know somebody is holding some truth from me i'll look at them and stay silent no nodding no acknowledging just looking the silence usually brings out the truth or extra detail if they squirm around a bit you know there's something they have exaggerated etc be direct and personal when you need things instead of asking if anyone has an ep pen ask who has an ep pen instead of saying someone call 911 points to someone say you win the blue jacket what's your name tom okay tom go call 911 and come tell me when they are in the way i did a first aid course recently and that's actually something they teach you you can't leave a task up to a crowd you have to single someone out for sh t to get done i can't remember my wife's a psychologist and i lost all my super powers of manipulation of time and space that must be f king exhausting at times hi baby how are you interesting that you'd ask that question how are you doing playing dumb gets you out of a lot don't say it's okay when someone apologizes say something like thank you for apologizing if someone needs to apologize to you then it was something that isn't okay my mom teaches this to her kindergarteners and it really does make a difference opens doors for growth and conversation too thank you for apologizing i don't like it when you hit me or whatever edit this blew up i'm almost 23 but tempted to watch daniel tiger mostly because he was the only puppet from the land of make-believe that didn't scare me and thank you for the silver row i recently read that saying you're right instead of i know makes you look less like an [ __ ] and doesn't diminish something someone else may have just found out i think it's pretty effective at not letting you look like a total ass edit bro in inbox boom thanks for all the replies i'll try to answer a few of them if necessary don't be sad if i don't answer i still like you i love you you're right this is really not too original but i've seen the wonders positive enforcement does on people's motivation i teach english to university students many of them are in there just because they must and consider learning english a waste of their time they're usually my worst students when i give them feedback i usually heavily stress what they can do already and congratulate them on their improvement even if minimal before telling them the mistakes they had i do this with all my students but with those who are particularly dismissive i take extra care to let them know what they're doing right some people jumped from hating the language and being terrified of making mistakes to being some of my most proficient students overall each of them showed considerable improvement and engagement in class never letting that one go i work as a creative director i have a lot of great clients unfortunately with the fush tty managers from their side they usually go with a mantra if it's not my idea it's not a good idea i end up sometimes telling them about something google tesla amazon samsung etc is doing and how we could try it they jump at these ideas the ideas are actually mine all my teams works like a charm semicolon use this sparingly using it as an easy escape is not a good idea it works but know when to use it if you use it all the time it won't make you look any better it will also allow people to be promoted who aren't capable of doing the job pointed out by root foot thank you good luck everyone semicolon edit added on last paragraph disclaimer edit thank you for the silvers and gold first time i am unsure of protocol if you hand something to someone they will take it it's a lot of fun edit my first reddit silver thanks i currently manage around 240 people between six restaurants it is often hard to get them to do what is needed i have found saying i need your help is sufficient to get them on board people want to feel needed and like they are making a difference expressing to them as much makes all the difference in the world if you need to remember something think about it while doing something noticeably unusual this will pair the memory with the something so that when it is noticed later on it will trigger that particular memory semicolon e g i need to take out the garbage before going to bed put your pillow at the foot of your bed i have to work with kids a lot having a summertime job where i volunteer to assist counselors at a camp for service hours and having five younger siblings don't tell them not to do something if i told you don't think about unicorns you'll immediately think about unicorns for the split second i say it if i instead said think about turtles you'll think about turtles for at least that split second i said it don't tell a kid not to something rather tell them to do something else instead of don't hit your sister say let's play a nice game with your sister that way you don't put the idea into their mind that you don't want them doing it which in their childish manner fuels the fire to do it more similarly kids needs to brush their teeth and get their pajamas on option a come and brush your teeth no i'm playing option b come and get your pajamas on no i'm playing option c do you want to brush your teeth first or put your pajamas on um pajamas works on adults too instead of asking do you have any questions i ask what questions do you have the first almost always results in silence and the second lets people feel comfortable to ask questions semicolon edit thanks for the silver kind stranger i ask small favors and publicly thank people for their help recognize their contributions and genuinely appreciate them when someone starts making fun of you you make fun of yourself in a more clever way if the person is doing it for attention it wrestles the attention away from them if you're more funny than they are and gives them negative feedback towards making fun of you going forward it doesn't always work because some people do it purely for self-enjoyment but at least it will be clear pretty fast that the person is a piece of shitty which comes with its own social drawbacks so in the end the person has the choice between getting out drawn or looking like a bully i pretend to be really bad at lying so when i do have to lie it is super effective don't apologize thank them when you're delivering food that's taken a while to cook don't say sorry for the delay say thanks for your patience saying sorry focus is on your fault thanking focuses on their good quality when someone is being rude during a conversation with me i consistently flick my gaze toward their forehead or chin and watch their confidence seep from their face after about 10 seconds give kids two choices instead of letting them pick from whatever you control could be two points of time like an hour in 10 minutes or do you want the red or the blue shirt on things like that works wonderfully they feel in control but have absolutely no control i'm not sure this counts as a psychological trick maybe more of a mindset change but i'll share anyways i regularly get bored and play video games for hours or resort to wandering around the kitchen looking for food i wasn't even hungry for now whenever i get bored i try to force myself to do something productive whether that be washing a few dishes playing with my cats taking a shower go for a walk you get the drift it's helped with my depression a bit because i feel like i accomplished something rather than just sitting around boredom eating [Music] you

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Id: 6d4BUdUUezw

Length: 21min 33sec (1293 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 07 2020