The Worst of Tucker Carlson | The Daily Show

[Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] tucker carlson [Music] [Applause] tucker carlson no no no don't tune out don't you not let's talk about tucker carlson fox news host and america's dickish stepbrother yesterday fox announced that carlson will be an even bigger presence at the network with a podcast and a series of specials but the question is how did tucker carlson become the legend that he is today well to find out here's the first installment of our brand new segment the daily showgraphy what makes a legendary journalist gravitas honesty eyes so piercing they can give you a nose ring no it's adaptability and no one's better at that than tucker carlson man of a thousand faces but also somehow only one face tucker swanson mcnear carlson his father was a journalist and u.s ambassador to the seychelles a popular vacation spot for people's money his stepmom was an heiress to swanson frozen foods a heritage he still pays tribute to with his trademark frozen facial expressions he has a brother buckley swanson peck carlson you don't really need to know anything about him but how about those names huh others might have tried to downplay their wealth but downplaying was never tucker's style well i'm like extraordinarily loaded just from like money i you know inherited i've never needed to work he didn't need to work we could be living in a world where tucker bronson mcchad carlson isn't on tv every night but luckily for america that didn't happen after college tucker took his talents to journalism rising to prominence as the liberal's favorite conservative everyone liked him he seemed normal and unwhite supremacisty tucker swan lake mcnordstrom carlson took that palatable conservatism to cnn and pbs eventually becoming the perpetually bow-tied co-host of cnn's crossfire there he helped steer cable news away from meaningful discourse and more towards people shouting talking points at each other like a housewives reunion it was going great until one day when a comedy central extremist infiltrated the set in wrecked havoc your partisan what do you call it hacks now this is theater i mean it's it's how old are you 35 and you wear a bow tie yeah after surviving that ugly attack tucker made the difficult decision to move on desperate times called for desperate tuckers so the butterfly emerged from yet another cocoon and flew to msnbc where he was both respected and likable someone you could definitely trust like matt lauer you know who was pals with him back then rachel maddow it's weird to see now like emperor palpatine going to brunch with baby yoda carlson's low-rated msnbc gig didn't last long but his personal brand only grew stronger he was not going to rest until the world knew all 36 of his names having flunked out of tv twice tucker seamus mcduck carlson began rebuilding his journalism career by working with one of radio's most respected broadcasters bubba the love sponge where he was able to channel his inner shock jock i love women but they're extremely primitive you're talking to a feminist and she's giving you well you know men really need to be more sensitive and just now actually you just need to be quiet and kind of do what you're told i'm not defending underage marriage at all i just don't think it's the same thing exactly as pulling a child from a bus stop and sexually assaulting that child the rapist in this case has made a lifelong commitment to live and take care of the person so it is a little different a rock is a crappy place filled with a bunch of you know semi-literate primitive monkeys one thing couldn't be denied tucker carlson said all that out loud on purpose knowing other people would hear him plenty of people would be proud to coast on calling women the c word but not tucker in 2010 he remade himself yet again as the public intellectual behind the new website the daily caller soon he was ready for his most important role yet fox news superhero tucker vanderpump mcrib carlson was home and this time he became something completely new a man of the people democrats have become the party of the elite professional class eager to lecture you about open borders global warming from their gated communities the most privileged people in our society shouting down at trump's voters damn you working class americans you must be to be quiet tucker you went to the elite schools of this kind i did i did we should and that's why i know it's a scam it was a performance of a lifetime an aristocrat who spent his entire adult life working in media acting as if he had just crawled out of the coal mines and sat in front of a tv camera and carlson wasn't afraid to use his new clout to uplift the most needy among us people who hate immigrants our leaders worship multiculturalism because all cultures are equal except they're not all equal our civilization is superior and we need to defend it latin american countries are forcing demographic change on this country at a rate that american voters consistently say they don't want we have a moral obligation to admit the world's poor they tell us even if it makes our own country poorer and dirtier and more divided isn't it crowding your country the fastest way to despoil it to to pollute it tucker's swamp thing mcgruff carlson was like a beautiful reverse statue of liberty telling everyone to get their tired huddle masses out of here but any fox news host could hate immigrants in fact most of them did so tucker upped the ante how precisely is diversity or strength do you get along better with your neighbors or your co-workers if you can't understand each other or share no common values white supremacy that's the problem this is a hoax this may be a lot of things this moment we're living through but it is definitely not about black lives and remember that when they come for you and at this rate they will we have every right to fight to preserve our nation and our heritage and our culture the skull of the african here the area associated with submissiveness is larger than any human or any other subhuman species on planet earth tucker was on fire like a cross on a black family's lawn but as 2021 began he was once again restless for a change so carlson put on yet another hat this time made of tinfoil democrats rigged the election in front of all of us and nobody did anything about it and what about this vaccine why are americans being discouraged from asking simple straightforward questions about it questions like how effective are these drugs are they safe and by the way how much are the drug companies making off this stuff the biden's affection is totally real it's in no way part of a slick pr campaign devised by cynical consultants determined to hide the president's senility by misdirection not at all their love is as real as climate change a little nuts well maybe but unlike the moon landing or a 44 year marriage you can't fake ratings like this and while yes at least one person did sue for defamation a judge dismissed the case on the grounds that any reasonable viewer knows that even things tucker says are facts are not actual facts so whatever the future holds for him one thing we know is that tucker severus mcfly carlson will do it with a smile or whatever's going on there [Music] we have a moral obligation to admit the world's poor they tell us even if it makes our own country poorer and dirtier what is hate speech all cultures are equal except they're not all equal what is a white supremacist well i'm like extraordinarily loaded just from like money i you know inherited but i've never needed to work what precisely is privilege our civilization is superior and we need to defend it what exactly is a nationalist our leaders are weak if you let people spray paint obscenities on city hall pretty soon they are overturning cop cars weakness invites aggression what is a fascist there was no physical evidence that george floyd was murdered by a cop what exactly is this disinformation all right i gotta go you should stick to the thigh high boots you're better at that is that sexism this may be a lot of things this moment we're living through but it is definitely not about black lives and remember that when they come for you and at this rate they will who exactly is the fear mongrel a rock is a crappy place filled with a bunch of you know semi-literate monkey who's the racist here if you use the term replacement the democratic party is trying to replace the current electorate the voters now casting ballots with new people more obedient voters from the third world that's what's happening actually let's just say it that's true democrats know if they keep up the flood of illegals into the country they can eventually turn it into a flood of voters for them when you offer someone citizenship free health care free education housing vouchers and free food all things they don't have in their own country their political success does not depend on good policies but on demographic replacement and they'll do anything to make sure it happens so every time they import a new voter i become disenfranchised as a current voter they're diluting it no they're not allowed to do that why are we putting up with this [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter] [Music] [Applause] hey cousin tuck how's it going feeling a bit more relaxed now that the election's over look i i was hoping that we could just kind of put it all behind us and get back to normal none of this is normal yeah i guess but at the end of the day we're still family plus i would love to start planning thanksgiving now that halloween's over the great orange emergency has passed now and it's party time whoo that's the spirit look i know it's gonna be really hard but let's just try to not talk about politics at the table this year okay tens of millions of americans suspect this election was stolen from them talk this sounds like another one of your conspiracy theories ever wonder why people on both sides are embracing conspiracy theories why do you think that's happening because you keep saying them on tv do you even have evidence that there was cheating according to one affidavit a poll worker saw people bringing handfuls of ballots to a biden harris campaign van really they rolled up to cheat in a biden harris van that's like robbing a bank with bags that have dollar signs on them and only happens in cartoons we don't know how many votes were stolen on tuesday night we don't know anything about the software that many say was rigged we don't know but we don't know for sure that jared kushner isn't a paper mache sculpture that just came to life either but we can't assume that without evidence we're getting off topic here okay this is going to be really controversial but for thanksgiving i want to make a tofurky this year come on say something don't give me that tucker face it's totally wrong and it's crazy it's not crazy cousin jessica's a vegan and aunt eileen has high blood pressure so it's what we're having hang on shawn's joining the zoom hey second cousin sean i'm really happy that you're coming to thanksgiving but i'm just going to go ahead and say it we're not talking politics at the dinner table we cannot be intimidated into silence we need to find out exactly what happened in this election and there are questions and that means we have to answer them not at thanksgiving we don't and i'm not trying to silence or intimidate anyone who's trying to intimidate you here the 99 media mob the washington swamp joe biden all desperate they want to just call it a day and stop you from asking legitimate tough questions about the election well it's a good thing none of them are coming to dinner look i know that we don't agree on things politically but we're all family so can we just be nice they hate us they've been very clear about that for four years they've never tried to hide it that is not true sean i was very happy when you showed up out of the blue unannounced and completely uninvited last year it was it was a nice surprise they knew you were coming they laughed at you when you left tucker it is one day just give me this one day with family without yelling or fighting or talking about conspiracy theories about the election can we just have that it isn't people who are not just alive still somehow many states have handled this election [Music] in michigan hundreds of people protested and managed to push inside the state capitol the pro-union protesters inside the capitol building this is america we're allowed to disagree with what our leaders do however we like and we're allowed to express that disagreement in public that's our birthright yes that's america so with the left holding the democratic process hostage what is next for wisconsin michonne maddock participated in today's protest she joins us thank you for coming on tonight and thank you for exercising your constitutionally protected rights as an american bless you pro-union protesters scream like children why doesn't the left make its case win the voters of wisconsin to its side rather than resorting to tactics that really are contemptible [Music] [Applause] everyone has been talking about the threat of white supremacy in the united states in fact even president trump admits that it's a major problem which is a pretty big deal because that would be like if hubs and shaw spoke out against speeding jason statham came out like you know what's cooler than driving fast going 55 and buckling your safety bell in it but even though most people in america have acknowledged the threats there is one person who still isn't convinced fox news anchor and concerned face drawn onto a balloon tucker carlson the whole thing is a lie if you were to assemble a list a hierarchy of concerns or problems this country faces where would white supremacy be on the list right up there with russia probably it's actually not a real problem in america the combined membership of every white supremacist organization in this country was able to fit inside a college football stadium white supremacy that's the problem this is a hoax just like the russia hoax it's a conspiracy theory used to divide the country and keep a hold on power that's exactly what's going on wait what white supremacists aren't a threat because they can only fill a college football stadium my man those stadiums hold a hundred thousand people we shouldn't have enough white supremacists to fill a golf cart that's how many we should have we'll talk about the numbers here oh how many how many of them are there white supremacists are like babies on a plane even one is enough to ruin your day and you don't notice you do notice that tucker carlson only gives white terrorists this pass yeah like after 9 11 he wasn't like al qaeda please what was it like 19 people is this a real thing huh there's like 90 people call me when they can sell out a next game okay oh and it's especially interesting that tucker doesn't think white supremacists are a real threat especially when you look at all the other threats that he talks about on his show if you're looking for threats to our democracy how about silicon valley how did we wind up with a country in which feminists do science a country where you're afraid to touch other people is a country we don't want to live in the way we practice immigration has become dangerous to this country kneeling during our national anthem a bit you know the basic symbol of our country is an attack on the united states almost every nation on earth has fallen under the yoke of tyranny the metric system the metric system the metric system is a threat to america but white supremacy is a hoax yo i feel like tucker carlson would tell the lamest campfire stories of all time just be like and then she heard a scratching sound coming from inside the door and when she turned around it was centimeters now apparently soft pedaling white supremacy didn't go over well with everybody in fact three big advertisers pulled out of tucker carson's show after he said that and and something tells me his bosses at fox news didn't like what he said because the very next day he made a surprise announcement at the end of his show that's it for us tonight tune in every night 8 p.m to the show that is the sworn enemy of lying pomposity and smugness and groupthink by the way i am taking several days off headed to the wilderness to fish with my son catch some brook trout politics is important fishing with your son sometimes more important so i'm doing it okay oh that timing seems suspicious but who knows maybe lots of people leave for fishing vacations on wednesday nights at 9pm i mean you never know when the fish are gonna start biting you never know and i know some people will say come on trevor this is probably just a coincidence okay just because tucker said something offensive and then took a surprise vacation doesn't mean these two things are related okay maybe not but it does seem to happen a lot over at fox sun vacation announcements have been a go-to move for trump tv last march laura ingram announced a vacation after coming under fire for mocking parkland survivor david hogg sean hannity went on vacation after advertisers fled over his promotion of a conspiracy theory that exploited the death of dnc staffer seth rich jesse waters took time off after criticism over a lewd comment about ivanka trump if you go in like hard enough they dropped the ball it's perfect yeah very good i'm glad he didn't run him over also i'm going to be taking a vacation with my family so i'm not going to be here tomorrow and friday but i'll be back on monday so try to miss me saturday also my favorite part is how all the foxholes try to casually slip it into random conversation you know you know sort of like how you used to buy condoms in high school you should be like yeah let me get a a bag of the doritos and also pack of the condoms from the cashiers like jerry bring me over a box of condoms for the kid please i'm gonna say extra small [Applause] so almost everyone on fox has had to go on a surprise vacation after saying something controversial but there's one vacation on fox that is the greatest of all time bill o'reilly took what he insisted was a pre-planned vacation after revelations he had settled multiple sexual harassment allegations finally time factor tip of the day often around this time of year i grab some vacation because it's spring and easter time last fall i booked a trip that should be terrific not going to tell you where it is i'll have a full report when i return and he never returned oh man and he never returned doesn't sound like a guy going on vacation it sounds like a guy who got whacked by the mob yeah let's just say o'reilly's gonna be going on a permanent vacation i'm chris cuomo thanks for watching cnn right i also feel really bad for that one fox viewer who's still waiting for o'reilly to return because you know there's one person watching tv like bill's gonna have so many great stories when he finally comes back i bet he went to machu picchu honestly these emergency vacations have become such a staple for fox news hosts i wouldn't be surprised if they had their own travel agency are you tired of the hustle and bustle of being dropped by advertisers want to get away because your bosses say you have to then you need fox vacations the travel agency for fox news hosts in trouble we'll lift you off in the dead of night and bring you to an isolated spot where you can rant in peace hang ten while spreading murder conspiracies mock shooting survivors between rounds of beach volleyball or just share your views on white genocide with the fish plus call now for our special forever vacation you'll have so much fun you won't want to go back which is great because you can't fox vacations relax this will all blow over have a great trip guys [Music]

Channel: The Daily Show with Trevor Noah

Views: 1,378,932

Keywords: the daily show, trevor noah, daily show with trevor noah, the daily show episodes, comedy central, comedians, comedian, funny video, comedy videos, funny clips, noah trevor, trevor noah latest episode, daily show, trevor, news, politics, tucker carlson, fox news, tucker carlson fox, gop, republicans, voter fraud, white supremacist, jeopardy

Id: c0RPX3mpmuo

Length: 21min 42sec (1302 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 17 2021