Stevie Wonder To Congress: Stop The Bull-tish | Mexican Newscaster Goes Off On Anti-Vaxxers

welcome to the late show i'm your host stephen colbert and come on now come on if you're watching this show right now good news the world did not end touch and go because earlier today a large potentially hazardous asteroid passed by the earth man the oscar campaign for don't look up is out of control too far too far that's too much the asteroid the asteroid is called 1994 pc1 so it looks like elon musk will have to choose a different name for his next child this asteroid is larger than the burj khalifa in dubai and more than twice the size of the empire state building in new york city okay who comes up with these size comparisons guys i found a death comet do we want to say it's the size of a couple of empire state buildings because it's really more like three m m stores plus half of yankee stadium or to costco's minus a taj mahal or maybe a tenth of rhode island and and we're dead and here it is all in all it really sounds and we're dead and we're dead come on they're just joking they're just joshing we're just joshing i'll keep it light all in all it really sounds like we dodged a bullet until you learned the asteroid was 1.2 million miles away which is about five times the distance from the earth to the moon damn it science that is not close we're already down here dealing with a pandemic global warming and the fall of democracy our panic dance card is pretty full already and so are our pants knock it off speaking of things uh not happening congress today senate democrats pressed ahead with an effort to pass new voting rights protections through congress even though the measure appears all but dead come on guys don't give up the fight don't know do not get discouraged in the senate there are a lot of things that appear all but dead now despite where you going get back you're not going anywhere despite how popular these bills are they seem doomed thanks to a filibuster by the republicans in the senate now democrats could modify the filibuster rules to exclude voting rights bills but that's being blocked by senators kirsten cinema and joe manchin seen here crowding into an elevator with all of their friends but the dems are holding the vote anyway because they say they need to put who's for and who's against voting rights on the record gotta know lay them on the table put them on the table as senator martin heinrich put it whether it's good strategy or not it's more important for those people whose votes are being jeopardized it's absolutely critical that they understand who is on their side that's right because once you know once you know which politicians are keeping you from being able to vote you can vote them out and i see the problem i see the problem that is the tuffy that is a toughy that's a poser is what that is people are frustrated naturally people like music legend stevie wonder who released this statement on youtube any senator who cannot support the protection of voting rights in the united states of america cannot say that they support the constitution stop the hypocrisy cut the boat ish oh oh did you hear that oh oh oh tish i want to thank stevie wonder for standing up for democracy and swearing in a way i can air on my cbs television show you sir are one bad mother trucker and senators you know how hard it is to make stevie wonder that angry the meanest thing he's ever said up until now is you're just my part-time lover stevie wandered on if you care and support our rights do the hard work you can't please everybody but you can protect all of us and to keep it all the way real the filibuster is not working for democracy why won't you oh that's good that's really good good you tell him stephen t wonder he then set his feelings to music and released it on the new album songs in the key of cuff u featuring his hits i just called to say go to hell for once in my life do something super sedition and his tribute to the republican party ivory and ivory of course [Applause] [Music] of course the 2022 campaign is already underway uh down in louisiana your home state john one senate candidate has a new ad talking about legalizing marijuana and rightly pointing out the racial disparity in drug enforcement most of the people police are arresting aren't dealers but rather people with small amounts of pot just like me i'm gary chambers and i'm running for the u.s senate and i approve this message put his money where his mouth is putting it out there he's getting high in his campaign ad we haven't seen a move that bold since eisenhower's pro crystal meth slogan ike like ice now if he wins the primary chambers republican opponent would be louisiana senator and dog watching you eat a meatball john kennedy and it would be quite a debate listen to some of kennedy's recent quotes getting rid of the 60-vote threshold in the senate and my judgment would be like giving whiskey and car keys to a teenage boy i don't know about you trey but my car doesn't run off fairy dust my car doesn't run off unicorn urine most americans understand that to a bear we all taste like chicken are we sure we know which candidate is high one thing tastes like chicken you taste like chicken i didn't i don't know that one thing that's definitely still happening is the pandemic while omicron appears to have peaked here in new york city some countries are just getting started like in beijing where they locked down an office building with workers still inside after a single omicron case was detected hey anti-vaxxers complaining about the cdc's communist policies why don't you try protesting at the beijing olive garden let me know how that goes and i'm a little perspective for a little perspective here i'm not the only one fed up with these mask holes in mexico leonardo schwebel an anchor for telediario guadalajara mexico's news leader has had just about enough us [Applause] [Applause] is it's nice to know that whatever country you're from we all speak the universal language of i hope all the anti-vaxxers in mexico saw that especially the ones who say they heard the vaccine gives their cousin's friend los cuevos gigantes i heard that yeah it's not just people at risk for cove but recently lions at a zoo in south africa got severe covet 19 from asymptomatic zoo handlers now don't worry the lions will be just fine after 10 days of isolation they'll go back to their normal healthy routine of trying to take a nap in the shade while school kids throw ice at them these zoo infections raise concerns about the creation of new variants because after the animals catch the virus the disease could mutate in them and re-infect humans okay well that explains disney's new update of the lion king [Music] that's a i believe they call that a hakuna mutata in order to prevent the spread of kovid from animals back to humans researchers are suggesting mask wearing as well as barriers so that visitors to zoos can't get too close to them they've also installed signs that say please don't tongue the lions and it's not just lions in hong kong right in hong kong it was announced that 11 hamsters tested positive for the delta variant i know it's adorable but we have to stop these unlikely lion hamster friendships between a close brush with an asteroid a teetering democracy and a raging plague it can feel like the end times but if it makes you feel any better a california city has been overrun by crows the good news is the crows don't pose any serious public health risk as one doctor explained you'd have to lick all the crow droppings on a park bench to come even remotely close to catching something from a crow roost remind me not to sign up for any of that guy's studies okay keep licking keep licking how do you feel not sick yet lick the next one keep licking look another bench so so so the crows aren't dangerous but they are a nuisance luckily the city has a secret weapon lasers okay you'll scare away the crows but they'll just be replaced by thousands of excited cats why why lasers why lasers a few cats a few cat owners here why lasers well because when crows see a green laser shining in the trees at night they think animals are running over the branches and they fly somewhere else that sounds complicated if only there was something people have used for centuries to scare away crows some sort of crow frightener a a fear crow something like that if i only had a brain now yes if the lasers don't work one ornithologist suggested officials aim firecrackers and bottle rockets of the birds which will make them freak out that advice brought to you by world-renowned crow expert kyle from across the street we've got a great show for you tonight my guests are brian cox and samantha bee but when we come back meanwhile stick around [Applause] [Music] you

Channel: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

Views: 1,828,478

Keywords: The Late Show, Late Show, Stephen Colbert, Steven Colbert, Colbert, celebrity, celeb, celebrities, late night, talk show, comedian, comedy, CBS, joke, jokes, funny, funny video, funny videos, humor, hollywood, famous

Id: WcYnURwfRhs

Length: 12min 18sec (738 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 19 2022