Ted Cruz, Elise Stefanik, Proud Boys: Who’s Who on the Far Right | The Daily Show

[Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] ted cruz you know him as a texas senator and blob fish who forgot to charge his electric razor but there's so much more to the man than that so let's get to know ted cruz in another episode of the daily showgraphy march 4th 2016. let's cut waste fraud and abuse it's easy to say it establishment republican candidates were making their last stand against donald trump and senator ted cruz of texas had a gross booger hanging on his lip and then he ate it as if none of us could see this is ted cruz the booger on the lip of democracy [Music] rafael edward cruz was born in canada to an american woman in a former cuban revolutionary when ted was four the cruises relocated to texas houston we have a problem where his youthful ambition was the same as any higher order lizard sex and domination well my aspiration is to uh oh i don't know being a teen pit film like that guy who played horatio you know he was in the melbourne bikini beach shop well other than that uh take over the world world domination yes young ted cruz was obsessed with boobs and power two things he would struggle to get his hands on for the rest of his life from there it was on to princeton university where he befriended craig mason who as the creator of the hbo series chernobyl is familiar with toxic disasters ted cruz was my roommate i i did not like him at all in college i want to be clear because you know ted cruz is a nightmare of a human being i have plenty of problems with his politics but truthfully his personality is so awful that 99 of what i hate him is just his personality awful awful awful person yeah he's awful ted cruz was so awful this professional screenwriter could think of no other word to describe him that's impressive after graduating from harvard law school ted finally found someone who didn't hate him which left him no choice but to marry her we got back from our honeymoon and he went off to the store and came home by himself and he arrived back at our apartment with literally a hundred cans of campbell's chunky soup and i said you don't buy a hundred of anything much less canned soup we'll you know we're we can't do this uh i'll be making things and he said no i know you you won't be making things and then because there was no room for both soup and a wife ted and heidi lived apart for seven years crews used that time to rise through the legal ranks arguing eight cases before the supreme court where he championed the rights of mentally ill prisoners to be executed by the state but his most famous case was a passionate defense of one unusual texas law cruz is texas solicitor general once defended a ban on the sale of sex toys that's right in a show of selfless devotion to the law ted cruz defended a ban on sex toys even though he himself is a complete dildo in 2012 cruz burst onto the national stage as a senate candidate and darling at the tea party once elected he put his mark on the senate by filibustering obamacare while showing off his first grade reading ability do you like green eggs and ham i do not like them sam i am i do not like green eggs and ham what a treat to hear dr seuss read by a dr seuss character to achieve his dreams of world domination ted knew he would need to leave an impression and he left impressions everywhere there is no try dude or do not the force is strong nonstop heidi ho neighbor just a never-ending parade of barely recognizable voices liar shut up witch i'm not a witch of your wife even though he couldn't really do any of them in the immortal words of william wallace freedom with charisma like that there was only one thing for cruz to do i am announcing that i'm running for president of the united states i was hyped he was like soon ted was cruising toward victory he had key endorsements i've looked at the candidates ted cruz is my man a supportive family not a day goes by that my mom is not lifting me up in prayer that's true for hours at a time and fresh ideas of course in texas we cook bacon a little differently than most folks [Music] machine gun bacon any hunter can track and shoot an animal but it takes a true outdoorsman to use a gun on meat he already bought at the store that's just how unlikable ted cruz is he actually found a way to turn people off of bacon but despite having the meticulous planning skills and foresight that's just coincidentally the hallmark of a serial killer ted cruz failed to anticipate donald trump ted cruz he's a absolute disgusting liar he is like a little baby soft weak little baby this guy's a liar lying ted cruz lying ted lies oh he lied donald trump called his wife ugly and said his father was implicated in the conspiracy to kill jfk at first ted took the high road swallowing his pride and a few boogers along the way but finally he had had enough crews got on stage at the rnc and he did not endorse donald trump vote your conscience that pledge was not a blanket commitment that if you go and slander and attack heidi that i'm gonna nonetheless come like a servile puppy dog and say thank you very much for maligning my wife and milan and my father the gauntlet had been thrown no longer would ted cruz cater to donald trump's every win he drew a line in the sand and oh hold on i'm getting a call hi this is ted cruz calling i was calling to encourage you to come out and vote on election day oh ted with nothing left to do cruz headed back to the senate where he reclaimed his position as the most hated guy in the office if you killed ted cruz on the floor of the senate and the trial was in the senate nobody could convict you i probably like ted cruz more than most of my colleagues like ted cruz and i hate ted cruz he's just a toxic co-worker he's the guy that microwaves fish there is nothing more dangerous than a reckless [ __ ] who thinks he's smarter than everyone else ladies and gentlemen meet ted cruz i'm beginning to understand why ted cruz has been hated by everyone every place he's ever been from kindergarten to the united states senate i am not endorsing tycoons and i think i'll take cyanide if he ever got the nomination goddamn even people who don't know if mass shootings are bad thinks ted cruz sucks jason by this reception ted got to work rehabilitating his image he began doing relatable stuff like accidentally posting milf porn on the anniversary of 9 11 and encouraging an insurrection against the government [Music] oh no ted cruz is so hateable that for a moment even his biggest fans hated him by accident [Music] but once the dust settled and the magamob reluctantly decided not to murder him ted and his family headed back home to texas to let things cool down in washington unfortunately things cooled down even more in texas as texans wait for a thaw and power to their homes senator ted cruz is facing backlash after an alleged fellow passenger tweeted out this photo appearing to show cruz on a flight to cancun he first blamed the trip on his kids that turned out to be a lie the 24-hour trip to cancun radically shifted america's view of ted cruz from a giant unlikable [ __ ] to actually it didn't shift the view of him at all but these are just small bumps on the road to his ultimate goal world domination to ted cruz the earth is a mere booger dancing on his lips tantalizing mesmerizing repulsive waiting until the day he can swallow us whole and hope that no one saw it [Music] given the state of the republican party right now you might think that the person they're replacing liz cheney with would be a 180 proof trumpist from the heart of mega country but actually for most of her political career elise stefanik was the exact opposite elise stefanik was not always considered a trump republican stefanik was seen as a moderate when in 2014 she won a house race in upstate new york at age 30. she was the youngest woman ever elected to congress when she first won this office and at that time she was a pretty classic east coast moderate conservative in 2015 2016 and the early days of the trump administration stefanik repeatedly and publicly opposed trump opposing him on nafta and trade even voting against his signature 2017 tax cut she also criticized trump's initiative to build a wall saying quote i don't think that's realistic in 2015 stefanik also disagreed with trump's calls for a muslim ban saying this is not who we are as a country and stefanik wrote this after the release of the access hollywood tape donald trump's inappropriate offensive comments are just wrong i've disagreed with the president's rhetoric numerous times when it comes to how he addresses women so elise stefanik didn't like trump's tax cuts didn't like his trade deals didn't like his muslim ban didn't like his sexism didn't even like his wall she basically didn't like anything about trump which is insane i mean you expect that from trump's wife but not a republican congresswoman so for a while stefanik was pretty much what used to be called a normal republican and then in late 2019 she saw an opportunity to make like billy eilish and give herself an eye-catching new image elise stefanik became the breakout star of the house hearings for trump's first impeachment often tangling with democrats to have our democratic colleagues say these untruthful statements just reeks of political desperation in their continued obsession to manipulate mainstream media coverage trump was so impressed at the time he tweeted a new republican star is born after trump lost and started pushing the big lie elise stefanik signed on fighting to overturn the 2020 electoral results in both pennsylvania and texas as this newly minted version of stefanik moved ever closer to trump's orbit her fundraising exploded and so did her profile stefanik became a regular on fox news and her cheerleading for team trump moved into hyperdrive stefanik was clearly on trump's radar even if he couldn't pronounce her name elise look you can't take offense to that trump pronounces words like a great jazz musician you'll never hear it the same way twice twice now to outsiders this might have seemed like stefanik suddenly embracing the dark side you know like anakin turning into darth vader except for the part about wearing a mask but the truth is she probably just made a straightforward calculation she saw where the party was going and she decided to go along with it you know it's just a little awkward to start rooting for someone after they've been publicly disgraced i never really liked r kelly's music but now that i've heard the charges against him it's kind of dope i mean like are you guys hearing this and once stefanik hopped on the trump train she never looked back in fact these days it can sometimes be hard to tell her and trump apart democrats are obsessed with impeachment they have been obsessed with impeachment the phony russia hoax the phony russia hoax of russia collusion we need election integrity and election reform immediately we want to be able to fix and strengthen our election security and election integrity sleepy joe rejects the scientific approach in favor of locking all americans in their basements for months on end joe biden wants to keep them locked up in the basement damn this goes way beyond just agreeing with trump it actually sounds like she's preparing to play trump in a movie i must become trump this is my process so in the end elise stefanik surrendered her principles her dignity and even her voice to donald trump and what did that get her enormous amounts of cash the support of a passionate base of voters the inside track to a powerful position in party leadership yes yes it gave her all those things but was it worth it because it seems like it was kind of worth it i mean god damn [Music] [Applause] the past 20 years alex jones has hosted radio and internet shows he's on 150 radio stations he has 8 million people who visit his website every single month and he has a billion views on youtube he's basically like the gangnam style of the far right and to his millions of followers he's always been this guy i i know all of this i know they're spraying us every day i know they're spraying my family i know we're all filled with heavy metals the u.n says if you don't play ball with them they'll just spray you and shut down your weather i'm broken out of the trance i'm angry i'm freaked out i'm going my god they're terraforming my god sodium fluoride in the water my god they they funded hitler my you know i am i understand what's going on i read their eugenics documents the hair on the back of my neck standing up right now i want to warn you they should all arrest them arrest the bankers they're robbing god i can't believe it yeah so he's a pretty chilled out guy pretty great that guy's freaking out you know what people who freak out about chemtrails are the funniest thing ever what are the planes doing what are they spraying in the air what are they spraying it's water vapor what you look at clouds and then be like what is that poison bombs in the sky one of those things of the why is that giraffe floating what's happening there this guy must be so terrified every time he takes a shower like opens the water he's like oh no the poison dust is coming out of the branch what's happening like i don't know who this person is and and i'm gonna tell you something that's probably gonna shock you uh a little while ago alex jones's wife divorced him i know i know people i know i know it's crazy to think someone would leave that now it gets even crazier because she also thinks that for some reason he shouldn't have custody of their children which means now he has to go to court which means the info wars host in a legal battle for custody of his children his lawyers say the fire breather on the web isn't the real alex jones that he quote is playing a character that he's a performance artist all right let me let me let me stop you right there you're not a performance artist okay jugglers are performance artists and they also shouldn't have custody of their children but still but still they are artists alex jones is a fake which by the way people have a right to be 50 cent be a billionaire hulk hogan have a massive penis the problem with alex jones the problem with alex jones is that his act has real consequences right his fans don't think he's acting when he says 911 was a government conspiracy or when he says mass shootings are fake or when he says there's a pizza shop in dc full of pedophiles which is a real thing he said by the way his fans want to do something about it one infowars fan even armed himself went to that pizza shop and shot at people and on top of that mother didn't even tip now the scariest thing about alex jones is that that fan only had one gun one of his biggest fans has an entire army you're saying you're fully committed you know there's no future if we don't take this country back donald trump i hope you can help uncripple america you'll be looking at me in a year and a year or two years let's give me a little bit of a time to to run things but a year into office you'll be saying wow i remember that interview he said he was going to do it and he did a great job you'll be very proud of him do you love me now daddy do you love me now do you see me daddy you know what's what's strange is now i i see why donald trump is always like alec jones yeah they're basically doing the same thing trump is also a character who whips people up with whatever provocative bull works and then when it suits him he steps away you know drain the swamp drain the swamp folks we're gonna drain the swamp and then he gets in and then these people and he's like yeah who cares who cares on the campaign he's like china is raping us on trade everybody and then all of a sudden he goes president china ate my cake it's cool we're good now hey maybe you know what maybe trump is also a performance artist maybe this is all a scab maybe if he went to court it would come out like wouldn't that be crazy to find out that donald trump the entire time has been somebody else like at the white house he's making speeches outside like and what we're gonna do with the wall we're gonna make sure and then he goes inside and he sits down next to melania and then melania is like what's wrong donald trump you seem stressed today and he's like oh my god melania the people are just they're so insufferable melania i just i really can't handle it i mean why do they keep i i try everything i just you know sometimes i wonder if i'm going to keep on do i just like go home hold on hold on hold on hello fox news yeah yeah this is what i'm gonna do about the mexicans okay bye bye now i'm like they're just the worst they really are it's off the wasps could be a possibility and that man is a fan of alex jones so look at the end of the day alex jones may not get his children back but at least he has custody of the most powerful child in the world [Music] [Applause] meet the alt-right a loosely connected group of right-wing white nationalists known for chanting confusing conspiracy theories like all while dressed like kids whose divorced dads made their halloween costumes in these world war ii reenactment rejects have one other thing in common they are angry but what do they have to be so angry about i'm a white guy things are great cops don't pull me over i pull them over to ask for a bottle opener thanks officer no you have a great day there's no logical reason why the alt-right should be so angry they're kind of winning but what if there was a deeper reason for their frustration across the alt-right movement leaders are telling young men not to masturbate what clinical psychologist dr david lay has a theory about why these young men are so angry they're not strangling their pepes they know how to masturbate they're not going side to side right they know it's up and down i don't think this is a technique issue they are actually trying not to masturbate you should take me hours now it's like yeah well i have one hand so you know it it gets lots of practice this guy masturbates dr lay explained that the main proponents of this no wank philosophy were the proud boys masturbation is lack of impulse control the proud boys believe that not masturbating increases their testosterone and makes them more desirable to women which brings up one question is it working for the proud boys research actually finds that less masturbation reduces testosterone so there's evidence that masturbating makes you a more masculine man a lot of really good things happen in your body in your brain but also research is finding that people who watch more pornography they are more feminist and interestingly they develop more egalitarian values over time you're right i watch a lot of gang bangs and one day i thought oh my god women have it so hard this isn't fair 95 guys and one girl we need some better representation here and the proud boys are just the tip there are stroke shamers all over the alt-right so canadian psychologist dr jordan peterson he's leader in the alt-right movement in canada and he tells young men there's nothing noble about masturbating to pornography that's terrible i mean what else are they going to do up there in between periods of hockey that's noble that's exactly that's healthy david duke who is a former grand wizard of the kkk he believes that pornography is a jewish conspiracy to get young white men to masturbate instead of procreating and so the white race dies out what is it about the jews with these guys and speaking of which this far-right moratorium on salami wrestling has been going on longer than you think the nazis taught young men not to masturbate nazis nazis used sexual suppression as a way to increase malleability in people if we can get people to give up masturbation we can get them to do anything first they came for our fleshlights and i said nothing so it's not just the insidious beliefs mob violence and haircuts the alt-right jacked this off the nazis too they're teaching these kids to hate themselves to be ashamed of themselves and then they can exploit them well they go down this rabbit hole of these extreme dangerous beliefs and become radicalized so what you're saying is masturbation can save lives definitely you know what let's do it right now let's show them all let's go i love talking to you man come on take out your dick we can't show you the rest of that interview but i will say when i think about these young people being manipulated into joining hate groups it makes me very angry and and and frustrated and [Music] excuse me for one second anyway if you or anyone you know seems to be getting drawn into the alt-right before buying that tiki torch try lighting the one inside your khakis first i'm michael costa telling all you young angry men to stop hating and start baiting [Music]

Channel: The Daily Show with Trevor Noah

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Keywords: the daily show, trevor noah, daily show with trevor noah, the daily show episodes, comedy central, comedians, comedian, funny video, comedy videos, funny clips, noah trevor, trevor noah latest episode, daily show, trevor, news, politics, elise stefanik, alt right, alex jones, ted cruz, donald trump, fox news, fox, trump, republicans, republican party, liz cheney

Id: XclzaJ2R8pk

Length: 24min 58sec (1498 seconds)

Published: Sun Jun 06 2021