Weirdest Dates With Happy Ends

what's the weirdest encounter you've had that ultimately led to sex brought a bucket of legos to a house party who doesn't love to play drunk legos so i'm laying on the floor s faced building a boat and this stacked girl comes sits next to me and starts building a spaceship we now live together this is the only freaking tactic i've ever heard that i actually like if it doesn't work fricken you got legos absolutely true story 1986 i was six years old stealing sampling candy out of a bin at the summer mount produce market in sunnyvale ca 10 feet away i notice a cute blonde girl about my age watching me and i shot her a smile her mother came flying around the corner and very loudly scolded me so that the whole store could hear unfortunately my oft absentee father was too busy checking out artichokes to notice flash forward 10 years and this girl and i go to the same high school and have become friends during one of our marathon conversations we stumbled onto the candy bin story somehow and connected the dots realizing we met so long ago she said she remembered thinking i was kinda cute as soon as i got my driver's license we were off to my mom's house every day for lunch we coordinated our free class periods before and after and had epic three-hour lunches and fricked like rabbits our 10-year wedding anniversary is next month t dr meta chick when i was six ended up having sex 10 years later been married for 10 years and together for 15. p.s my mother-in-law is still a miserable b i got to i was six years old and immediately skipped to the tl dr yeah once i realized it wasn't weird i finished reading btw that's not weird that's freaking awesome hopeless romantic i lost my virginity playing madden 2005. it was my first weekend back from college in this high school girl alex who had been with three four of my friends prior wanted to hang out she was pretty blunt and i was still a virgin in college so i agreed 15 minutes later i get a call on my cell phone that she was outside i come out and her freaking dad is standing there he looks at me and says i like to know who my daughter is hanging out with we exchange un pleasantries and alex comes upstairs being an awkward guy i suggest we play video games for some inexplicable reason she wants to play madden which she informs me she has never played before thinking on my toes i tell her we should put some stakes on it we agree that for everyday touchdown i score she takes a piece of clothing off for every touchdown she scores i do the same it doesn't take a genius to figure out that i was going to beat her soundly she would ask madden every play when she would do so a cursor would blink on the screen for which play madden suggested alex would then hit the corresponding button since i could see this too i knew exactly what plays she would be running and call the perfect offense or defense to counter it it was like the real life packers playing a ragtag group of autistic children i was up around 28-0 she was as but naked as the day she was born and i realized how stupid i'd been i was fully clothed with a hot naked girl next to me i called a punt formation while she had the ball and let her complete a pass she ran it up the sideline for a touchdown i let her do this about three more times i don't know if she knew i was letting her score but it didn't matter we were literally both naked and playing the game yes i was still that scared to make a move when she looked me dead in the eyes and asked wanna have sex nonchalantly i said sure best five seconds of sex ever doesn't matter had sex i opened a beer can turned the tag around 180 degrees flicked it away and it landed square down in the cleavage of a hot girl sitting a few meters away that got talking had sex keith stone always smooth walking around montreal trying to find nutmeg i didn't speak french well she didn't speak english well we spent an hour also walking around the city trying to find fresh nutmeg eventually we gave up and went for coffee over coffee we made the sexy eyes and tried to figure out that the other was saying she invited me back to her place we freaked the crap out of one another repeatedly we took a shower i got dressed and left i ultimately made it back to my friend's apartment six hours later still with no nutmeg additional info i think her name was mary maybe marie this is a story that should have ended in marriage and been told to grandchildren back in the day i was hanging out with my fabulous male friends at a dance club i am a non-fabulous male dancing drinking having a good time suddenly i'm being assaulted on the dance floor by a guy grinding groping i let him know that i'm not homosexual and he laughs apologizes and backs off about 20 minutes later at the bar i'm getting a drink and the assailant comes over to me with a gorgeous brunette girl on his arm he introduces me to the lady and buys a drink for myself and her then he smiles and leaves us ended up going on a few dates with her and then having freaky porno sex in her living room bedroom car bathroom etc didn't last long though maybe eight weeks tl dr groped on the dance floor by a homosexual introduced me to his friend to apologize freaky dutch porno sex with girl at a later date that is a cool as freak dude right there a few summers ago i painted houses i was a skinny 20 year old and needed a summer job well come july my buddy and i started to paint this huge beautiful house complete with hot tub pool and full-sized basketball court the owners were super nice and let us swim in the pool after work they also had a super hot daughter that was 23. well one day the owners left for vacation and i'm up on a 20-plus feet ladder painting the dormer of the hot girl's bedroom she comes in her room sees me and proceeds to walk over to the window to tell me something the windows were the kind that you crank and they open up away from you she starts cranking the window but doesn't see that it's going to hit my ladder smurf is law the window hits my ladder makes it unsteady and i proceed to slide down the side of her house two floors up holding on for dear life to this ladder the ladder stops and him flung off and land on my back and nail my head on the concrete i was knocked out for a while and next thing i remember i wake up in the hospital with a broken back and a major concussion needless to say she felt bad and stayed by my bed until i could leave stayed there for four days until i could go home my buddy finished painting the house and i was bedridden for almost a month the girl always brought me flowers and gifts and we ended up dating and having great apology sex her parents even gave me an extra five hundred dollars for painting tl dr painted a hot girl's house she inadvertently knocks me off the ladder breaking my back and leaving my concussed we date and i get some awesome apology sex and then i painted her face eei out of the office when i was about 25 26 i was at the local bar i hung out at there was an unfamiliar group of girls to which i chatted to for about five minutes top earlier in the evening i noticed all but one of the girls left and the one that stayed came up to the bar where i was a bartender calls last call and being quite buzzed i turn to her and say kind off jokingly botnet how about you and i head back to my place for some sex everyone at the bar heard it and kind of chuckled until she says sure i have never done this before but let's go you could have heard a pin drop next time i went there i got a standing ovation from the regulars that were there everyone that wasn't asked what was going on so the word spread which led to another strange girl approached me with a score i actually rode that wave about three more times shameless one stage that event one time with a female friend two get standing ovation when i return three recurring sex i posted a comment in a thread on reddit about the weirdest encounter you've had that ultimately led to sex crosses fingers hey one time i struck up a conversation with a cute girl in a bar the conversation went pretty well and i ended up taking her back to her place such a thing has never happened before or since was it wit i.t was for emmy maybe this will be lost at the bottom maybe not in high school i was frequently at my good friend's house because his parents were cool and gave us a fair amount of freedom one night we're all hanging out and it's him his girlfriend my friend and i my friend was this girl who i met while on the swim team and she swam for a different school i met her sophomore year and she was introduced to me as a lesbian but that mattered not to me she was cool as frick she kissed me junior year which was awesome but not really all that sexual just a good kiss well senior year arrives and we're hanging out at my friend's house we decide to go in a hot tub and my friend and his girlfriend take up his bedroom getting changed into their bathing suits the girl and i figure we can take the bathroom all we're doing is getting changed surely adults like us can handle that we get naked and then bam i was inside of her and we were violating every square foot of floor and counter space in my friend's bathroom the sex was welcomed but completely unexpected tldr met friend in high school who preferred girls i spattered her onto the other team one day while preparing for hot tubbing i used to be an emt i only worked as one for a year but in that time a girl from my college fell down some stairs and got a concussion she was so pleased with me taking her to the hospital that she got my number then sex the first two girls you pushed down the stairs didn't have sex with you but the third one did due to the memory loss from the brain damage the night before my 18th birthday i was at a party in the woods of a nearby development common place to have bonfire parties at the time if someone sees lights at the entrance of the trail and it turns out the cops had found out about the party and were coming to bust it up everyone scatters off in different directions through the woods as i had drank quite a bit i didn't want to drive i then tried calling a few of my friends but everyone was either drunk or asleep i then received a text 20 years was super hot and said that she and tori 21 years less hot it has a set of big ole melons wanted to see me for my birthday i told them that if they really wanted to see me they could come rescue me as i was hiding in the bushes waiting for the cops to go away they said yes about a half an hour later they live far away they come pick me up ancillary details emitted we then drive around for a bit talking about nothing important and then they drive to the park we end up getting out and walking around and they give me a car that was one of those silly poems on the last line however it said something about now we can hook up with you so with having at least a six-pack of confidence in my belly i say so is it gonna be just one or both of you tonight then they laughed but then as we got back in the car they asked me to go outside for a bit i obliged and when i got back and they asked me if i had a place to go i couldn't go home because my parents were home but i said we could go to my friends frank house frank doesn't have a cell phone so i went there on faith but he also has a mom that doesn't give a crap what he does so it wasn't that much of a leap when i get there i go in by myself at first to find that he is asleep i wake him up and say frank i have two girls in the car that want a freak i need your bed please frank pulled one of the greatest wingman moves ever for me that night he got up went to his garage and slept in his car i proceeded to have the best welcoming to adulthood a person could ask for by having a threesome on his bed it was good tl dr i ran from the cops was rescued by two girls and as a birthday present they had a threesome with me on my friend's bed whom i woke up and sent to his car buy that man his beer for the rest of his life i spent a night at hotel with a girl woke up hungover a little so i went to 7-eleven to buy some stuff met a girl in line at 7-eleven and took her to a different hotel a block down from the original hotel i high-fived myself teach me your ways bro i was at a house party with this guy i had been seeing at least i thought we had been seeing each other turns out he has a girlfriend and she shows up to this same party she finds out about me she wants to fight me i apologize over and over to her even though her d-bag boyfriend told me he was single she's crying i'm crying and apologizing i go into the other room to get away from the situation where this guy comes up to me and starts trying to calm me down i had talked to him previously in the evening but couldn't remember for the life of me what his name was he and i end up leaving and going back to his place sexy time ensues afterward i try and duck out without him waking up he wakes up and asks if i want breakfast we dated for two months one night after my friends abandoned me at a nightclub we got separated and neither party could locate each other as it was rather crowded i found myself walking briskly home quite drunk in the short while after i found myself crossing the street next to this girl who was pretty good looking after about half a block i used probably the worst pickup line that ever came out of my mouth you sure walk fast as i tend to walk at a fast pace her complimenting walking speed and my slight inebriation spawned this one line that sparked a great conversation she ended up taking me out to pizza at one of her favorite places on granville because she liked my vibe then after drunkenly ambling through downtown we made our way back to her place because she wanted to smoke some weed instead of smoking we ended up freaking for quite some time after waking in the morning i got her number and an invitation to hang out whenever i walk the two blocks home ate breakfast and have never seen her again oddly i remember only her middle name while it's not your fault i want you to know that i hate you do you know that i've been out jogging nearly i don't know a few times and not once has it led to an anonymous steamy penthouse letters hookup sometimes mother luck just throws you a bone i do still feel like crap for hitting the dog though a noise complaint about my band mid 1990s in a punk band that kinda rocked at the height of the green day offspring craze we were doing something a lot closer to the clash and dead kennedys unfortunately the storage unit we had for practice went out of business and we couldn't afford another for a month we decided to risk using our drummer's uncle's garage out in a rural neighborhood outside of granbury he had a few neighbors but we figured we wouldn't be loud enough to pee them off the neighbor's houses were at least 100 yards from the garage ha right so we're practicing about five songs in trying not to be too loud when the garage access door opens and a punk rock sheriff's deputy walks in i later found out she wasn't actually punk rock just kinda looked that way at first glance mid thirties pumpkin orange fingernail polish butch why haircut like an old blondie fan platinum bleached an array of very small hoop earrings in each ear big blue eyes she walked in smiling and just stood near the garage door we stopped mid-june of course law enforcement uniforms were a red flag she shook her head and told us to finish the song nervously we did she clapped once it was done and shook her head again then she apologized and mentioned that the neighbors had complained she seemed to really like our music asked where we were from since she didn't recognize any of us asked me if we were playing anywhere i started to tell her about a party gig coming up then stuttered to a halt when i realized she might bust the party she laughed and gave me her card said to call her and let her know the next time we had a gig a few months went by we had our first gig at a large bar in featuring worth near a college tipsy the night before my drummer joked that i should invite a cop i still had her card in my wallet so i called i didn't actually see her during the show realized later that i was looking for a uniform which she wouldn't be wearing but she came up after the set and gave me a beer said the music was a little raw for her tastes but she liked our act we got to talking through the night she actually drank too much to drive but i promised to take her home turned out she lived about a mile from me once i delivered her home she offered coffee and we talked more until sunrise kissing several times during then she said she had to go to bed and asked me to go with we dated for a couple weeks but it turned out she had an old boyfriend who was a cop that she wanted to get back with to this day i suspect i was a rebound lay nevertheless a noise complaint turned into the only time i've nailed a cop frick the police got an invite to a newly built house no furnishings just lighting and running water met this weird emaciated girl around 20 years old and chatted her up while drinking her body language after about her fourth drink was obvious she wanted to do the deed so not wanting to waste an opportunity i asked her when and where to which she replied your call as i knew the owners of the house and there wasn't much to worry about but for locking the doors behind me i got this idea that we could crawl into the lower kitchen cupboards and do the nasty we did with not much room to spare either now it just so happened that there were a few aluminum candy bowls and such in that cupboard and they tended to rattle and ring some while we were doing it who cared i figured the house was empty well as we extricated ourselves from the cupboard s i glanced up to see my friend the house owner in the archway arms folded and his wife y died and staring i took the girl creature in hand nonchalantly grabbed a half bottle of tequila from the counter and bad them a cu tomorrow look just when i thought it was over this emaciated girl leads me behind a building housing a print shop behind the building they had this refuse room where they would store large mounds of shredded and waste paper where she leads me into a mound and proceeds to really jump my bones all over again it was like some sort of swashbuckling event with me laying embedded in a mound of paper and her riding the frick out of me while i take an occasional swig of tequila all said and done she tells me she lives nearby and exits for home and i wave down a taxi and head to the bars for some good times some friends at a bar start laughing and tell me i have an assortment of what looks to be ink splotches on my clothes and skin a trip to the bathroom didn't help much to remove it either told them the story drinks were free for the night almost two weeks later i find this same girl while delivering a package to a lawyer's office she proceeds to invite me to the parking garage for some fun in the back seat delivery s done i mentioned how nice her car is her car know the boss's car tyvm exit met her a couple of times in passing after that her boyfriend is a lawyer at another firm a rather large and serious kind of guy we passed each other with a knowing glance and pretended we never met tldr mother hubbard loved the cupboard she was a print shop pro i waved down a taxi you son of a b head to the bars for some good times hugh bel air averted a friend of mine bought a desk from ikea and figured that since i knew swedish i'd be an asset in helping build said desk so after work one saturday i bought it over to his house he has the base built but is struggling with the keyboard tray i took over and screwed it in only to later realize that it's upside down we were both frustrated and decided that smoking a bowl would be a great way to calm ourselves down before proceeding after smoking we returned to the desk i picked up the instructions and asked him if he remembered what step we were on he responded with i want to know what step you're on at that point it was pretty obvious what step he was on we ended up having sex and completed the desk while wearing only underwear coma completed the desk a happy ending back in 2000 i was an assistant manager at a big chain bookstore we mailed books and magazines for people at a discounted rate as long as they bought them from us and we did a booming trade in prison mailings back then the shipping process was pretty arcane and any such transaction required a manager to complete it one day i get a call to come to a ship as i approached the registers my eyes fell on one of the most beautiful women i'd ever seen as luck would of it she was the one needing help i chatted her up a bit and found out her boyfriend was in prison awaiting trial oh nevertheless i helped her every time she came in once or twice a month for more than a year and we got to be pretty friendly one day she comes in comes over to me and starts bawling i bought her a cup of coffee and a sandwich and we talked about it her bf hadn't beaten the charges and was going away for a lung time 20-plus years she was a mess understandably but after a few hours she calmed down enough to be able to drive home i was her first stop on the way home apparently i gave her my number and told her to call me if she needed anything no matter what or when flash forward to 1am when i get a call from her she needs a friend she can't sleep and wants to talk i'm omw home at this point but i turn around and follow her directions we stay on the phone and the talk is getting pretty hot when i get there she tells me to come in she's naked and absolutely stunning her body was perfect without doubt the best i've ever laid hands on she tells me she's been faithful to her man in the year he's been locked up but she's probably never going to see him again and it's time to move on what was i supposed to do we fricked wild all night and the next day like cage lions we bit and scratched and pounded each other and screamed like banshees all the while freaking awesome when we'd got it out of our systems she told me about why her boyfriend was locked up he was a drug trafficker and got pulled over with 15 or so kilos of coke it was late at night on a not busy highway so he beat the cop unconscious and sped off leaving his license behind she told me he was a jealous type i still saw her for almost a year after she was awesome in and out of the sack d t l d r i friction connected narco traffickers girlfriend while he was in prison after meeting her on his behalf in my first year in college i was kinda seeing this girl from back home it was on and off because of the distance i could get away with mingling she was in the year below me and attended the girls conference in my hometown it was her last year in school i dibbled and dabbled with her for about three months during the college year and as a result she asked me to her school debs prom formal as you know for most girls this is a massive night so she was constantly insisting how i should get to know the family well to make things more comfortable on the big night you would swear it was a wedding after she sat her final school exams and i moved home for the summer we started to hang out in each other's family homes regularly because i was spending a lot of time over in the house i ended up talking to her mum a good bit one to one initially i just thought she was friendly flirty but friendly but the touching of the legs arms head compliments on hairstyle clothes after shave comments on my facebook photos yes so mum added me on facebook did not stop anyway the big night eventually arrives 11 of her girlfriends and their dates and parents are at the pre-drink session it runs smoothly families hit it off at the pre-drinks in-house meal goes well hand job under table then back to hers for the after party we partied until about 5 a.m by this time most had passed out etc until i was left in the sitting room with my dad's mother and one of the other girls mothers a divorcee the mother again starts feeling me up and paying me compliments the divorcee remarks to date's mother i'd be all over that and then leaves the room yeah this is when i fricked her mum tl doctor went to a girl's prom and flicked her mama at the after party this classmate and i were both big fans of portal 2 which was a surprise to me seeing as she was a beautiful girl that had only played about two other games in her life one night she came over and out of nowhere i started saying space space hey hey lady spacey started laughing and joined in space space after giggling like idiots i grabbed her playfully and said can we go to space she replied space i pulled her close and said quietly let's go to space and then we had sex i crap you not there was nothing else to it no dirty words no sexy talk just space cave johnson we're done here tldr i used nothing but quotes from portal 2 to get laid if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: On Tap Studios

Views: 11,670

Rating: 4.952239 out of 5

Keywords: date, dating, dating stories, dating storytime, weirdest date ever, weirdest date, weirdest date stories, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap, reddit stories 2021

Id: -Xnb3s5iBEI

Length: 27min 20sec (1640 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 02 2021