The Rise of Skywalker Book is WORSE Than the Movie!

why does Maz Kanata have anakin skywalker's lightsaber why Maz promises to someday tell the story of how she acquired it oh thank you book why don't you tell it now now that you have a book with all these little information how about you tell me now [Music] [Applause] what's up guys it's your boy Vito hope you're doing alright one of these days one of these days I'm gonna commit to that youtuber voice man every video is just gonna be like hope you're having a good day here on YouTube here's the deal I'm working on my big rise to Skywalker review people keep saying when are we getting rise of Skywalker a complete cinematic failure well the answer is in March hopefully the DVD comes out on to March and I will be grabbing the DVD blu-ray pulling scenes directly so you have the crispest examples of why that movie is a nightmare I'm really gonna do a deep dive review to the point that I have picked up what is this is an embarrassing thing that Disney and whoever else put together this is the official rise of Skywalker visual dictionary now this book is full of some truly hilarious retcons which I cannot wait to share with you guys there is some stuff in here which I think just further puts the nail in that Star Wars coffin but before we get into it real quick I want to give a shout out to one of the most intense mobile MMOs I've ever played in my life you know it and I know it and we all love it it's called raid shadow legends raid shadow Legends is an awesome dark fantasy RPG that is free to play on your PC or mobile device it looks fantastic no matter what you're playing it on and it is a true thrill to unlock and upgrade new champions especially now as the highly anticipated battle past season one is alive letting players win awesome rewards including free energy refills gems upgraded artifact sets and new epic and legendary champions I ventured that you'd be a fool to not download the game today use the link in my description box and you're gonna get yourself a hundred thousand silver and a brand new champion the hex Weaver look at this thing my god that's that will kill you dead you're gonna die all that treasure will be waiting in your inbox for the next 30 days again check the link in the description you don't want to miss out on raid shadow legends beautiful game it's an attractive looking book to be fair hardcover inside all sorts of interesting information about a every minor character you even get to see all these people were in the background look it's scary teeth man very interesting stuff if I was a you know 8 year old boy I'd probably love the heck out of this book but I'm not I'm not a tiny child who was just easily amused by Star Wars information I'm going through the book going please tell me what was going on in that movie can you explain some some of this nonsense Palpatine's back there's a dyad and the force notice why will you tell me what's going on book do you have the answers and I regret to inform you that not only does this book not have answers which we will get into it has some just embarrassing contradictions retcons and I feel bad for the guy who wrote it this Pablo Hidalgo guy who apparently has been with Star Wars for a while he's done a lot of the background material and is obviously not part of the Lucasfilm story group it seems like his job was to to go through the sequel trilogy and all the stuff that doesn't make any sense it seems like it was his job to make up reasons why it could make sense it's hard to say exactly what's going on without without giving examples so we'll get right into it but but I do want to say I think Pablo you had an impossible job taking these horrible movies and being like well actually space-time was bending and that's the reason no there's no way to make it work it's hilarious what we ended up with let's take a look at some of the nonsense that is in this book number one star killer base is magic all right now part of this book covers the ground from the first two movies kind of trying to catch you up on the plot well also offering explanations for that are kind of just clearly ridiculous explanations where you're like okay JJ Abrams's did not actually think this through this is you after the fact having to come up with an explanation for either JJ Abrams or Ryan Johnson's failures of writing so as we all remember in the force awakens Starkiller base the big old laser base whoo the Death Star's our planet now gonna have another Death Star and it's bigger than the last death star whereas the Death Star can only blow up one planet this can blow up all the planets at once JJ Abrams just takes ideas other people had and makes them bigger you thought one Star Destroyer was scary what about a billion Star Destroyers come on JJ come up with some ideas okay but the question we had here was wouldn't building a giant laser into a planet be worse than a Death Star because the Death Star was it was a space station it could theoretically move through space you know like if there's a planet you want to destroy you float the Death Star over to that planet and blow it up but Starkiller base should only be able to hit whatever is you know within range of that planet you can't really move a planet or at least not very easily that we know of so one why build it into a planet if you're limited in what you can hit - how do you not see that they're building a laser in the middle of you know cuz again it needs to be within range of what its gonna shoot how do you not notice hey those guys are building a lasers like right over there we should probably deal with that and three how is it that these planets get blown up but then other planets like can see it like if the first order blew up the hosnian system why is Finn and Han Solo able to see it for maz kanata's planet are they in the hosnian system like how did how do they know that this happened if you can look up and see the laser doesn't that mean you're right next to the frickin laser base okay here is the official Stowers explanation the firing of the star Killer weapon is specifically engineered through space-time bending quintessence physics I definitely said that word correctly to be seen across the galaxy as a horrifying example of the first orders might so the first order not only built a super laser planet but they figured out a way to bend space-time so that everybody on every planet could see them blow up the hosnian system that doesn't that seem unnecessary like they went to their engineers and they went look it's not enough for us to blow up this planet we need everybody to see it and if I'm an engineer I go well why don't we like take a video camera and we'll get a video of it and then we can send the video to everybody or a hologram or whatever because it's Star Wars and they're going no I want them to see it as it happens live I need you guys to figure out how to bend space-time so that people in other galaxies or sections of the galaxy can see our laser what that makes no [ __ ] sense whatsoever this is their their same explanation for how it was able to target planets that aren't near it is that you can send a laser into hyperspace have it pop out of hyperspace somewhere else and blow stuff up there okay so so they didn't need to build their planet and your other planets because you can just send lasers through hyperspace now sure fine there's no mention of this in the movie that would have been such an easy thing to explain if it was actually what JJ Abrams intended and not some sort of weird afterthought where now they're like [ __ ] how come they can see the laser just say it's cuz it's going through hyperspace which bends time and then everybody can see it this this feels a bit thrown together I don't buy it but fine Pablo Hidalgo with the first major retcon lasers through hyperspace bending time so when you're hanging out at maz kanata's cantina you get to see a laser light show okay whatever number two Finn is not a hero now some parts of this book seem to be little footnotes that try to strengthen the awful themes of the movies that were never properly explained for instance the last Jedi - the theme was that Finn has to develop a duty to the resistance you know he needs to learn duty which makes no sense because in the last movie he risked his life without a solo to help blow up Starkiller base he should be a resistance here already thankfully we have the book to make little apologies for Rian Johnson Finn's role in destroying the Starkiller was incidental to his true loyalty it didn't count he only went there to save Rey look like I know that's what Rian Johnson wants us to think even though it doesn't make any sense but the fact that they specifically had to put something in the book about it like don't think that finn was being selfless when he risked his life to destroy the weapon that was gonna blow up the resistance planet no no no no that doesn't count he was only there for a he's not really a resistance hero yet the only way to become a true resistance hero is to try and drive a plane into a laser and have your asian girlfriend knock you out of the sky that's the only way that it counts whatever number three hollows secret plan oh hold OHS plan the plan the secret plan that we never found out we never knew why we were like why hold oh why is it a secret okay her plan was we're gonna put everybody on tiny little transport ships send them to the salt planet that was her secret plan but she couldn't tell anybody why well it's not because she's an incompetent leader who can't recognize when one of her you know frickin chief pilots is about to inspire a mutiny no no it's because she kept it a secret for operational security reasons well they you go can't argue with that it's in the book next time somebody says why didn't she tell PO the plan you have an answer you go operational security reasons Oh God number 4 explaining the whole dough maneuver now they do attempt to touch on the whole dough maneuver which I find it hilarious that they now officially recognize it as the whole dough maneuver which to me raises so many more questions cuz again calling it the whole dough maneuver reinforces this idea that she's the first person to ever do it cuz otherwise you would call it something else you would name it after the guy who did it a thousand years ago but instead they were they've confirmed no one else has ever thought to slam a hyperspace ship they into another ship she's the only one who ever did it to the point that we've now named it after her the resistance takes to calling whole dough's unconventional but effective sacrifice the whole talk maneuver no don't don't make that cannon and they have an explanation for it of what she did she perfectly timed a devastating point Blake blank hyperspace jump causing it to intersect the mass of the supremacy at Lightspeed before entering hyperspace okay so so we have confirmed that no you can't just hyperspace through stuff you have to time it in a way that before you enter hyperspace you hit them you could screw it and so okay maybe the first time somebody tries to do that through pilot skill alone yeah it's probably pretty pretty hard to pull off I agree she definitely was able to make some sort of miraculous thing that could never be replicated except it can okay you live in the Star Wars universe where we've established that science exists you can find a way to send lasers through hyperspace and Bend time so everyone gets to see the laser so now what are you gonna tell me that there's no engineer anywhere who can sit down and crunch the numbers and be like wow that whole dough maneuver is very effective let's figure out a way to effectively replicate that on a consistent basis let's just do the math study the distance between target a target B and the power of the hyperspace drive plug it into the computer like you could now build this into a weapon just find an engineer and he can build it for you you can't have this explanation like oh it's a one-in-a-million shot we need to put some holdover do this do some real damage come on that move is one in a million one in a million without the help of a targeting computer that is built to make these kind of hyperspace missile explosions okay it's a bad explanation you shouldn't have gave it this name the whole dough maneuver yeah I mean you had to figure out something to do with it I don't think this was the correct way of trying to explain it number five what's in the pouch okay so one of the big jokes has always been about JJ Abrams little mystery bugs that he doesn't have any idea where they're going which was the the problem with the trilogy is that JJ Abrams would be like here's the thing there we go well that doesn't make any sense can you explain why that thing is there and he'll go not yet you'll find out later and then we get to the end of the trilogy half that [ __ ] he did never we never got an answer half the visions ray saw and the people she met you're like who are these what is all this we didn't have enough time to answer at all one of the most obvious things is why does Maz Kanata have Anakin Skywalker's lightsaber why why does she have it who gave it to her why'd she put it in a box why wouldn't you down in her little basement when you touch it why do you see stuff what is that what does that mean and for some reason the book forget it can't decide if it wants to give an answer or not first it goes Maz promises to someday tell the story of how she acquired it oh thank you book why don't you tell it now now that you have a book with all these little information how about you tell me now that a good question for another time instead the books like you don't need to you don't need to know about that hey would you like to know what's in masking out his little pouch she's got candy in it what I don't care about yeah in her pouch this candy it's not important it's not helpful Star Wars book tell me where she got the frickin lightsaber that's what we want to know I don't need to know that this old weird alien lady has a bunch of Werther's Originals in our little side pouch that doesn't help me that later on and the way we they do touch out a little bit it was thought lost in Cloud City it was salvaged from the mining colonies industrial depths so as far as I can tell the official explanation is it fell a lot but then somebody found it that's it you drop that lightsaber off the Empire State Building it's not gonna land intact but somehow it landed somebody found it and I don't pawned it off again eventually Maz Kanata found it at a pawn shop just chillin great I'm glad I'm glad that's the explanation no no magic connection to the force it called out to somebody and they've not just somebody found it also Maz Kanata has candy or a little back this [ __ ] book is ridiculous number six Rey is a filthy thief oh I also love this a little bit about this is just so stupid when Luke rejects his old lightsaber Ray's scavenger instinct caused her to retrieve it and claim it as her ah I love this little bit that Rey is such a little little Greg grubby handed scavenger that Luke throws the lightsaber just call free [ __ ] and she grabs it like without it's not that like she takes it because it's important to her the quest it was her scavenger instinct that said yo free lightsaber you linked like I love it number seven Rey learns to fly are this is what I think is probably the stupidest thing in the whole book and it's kind of what inspired me to make this video to begin with because again this is not something that JJ Abrams ever thought about when he was writing this movie because he didn't think when he was writing this movie okay he did not plan it out and now he has these guys struggling to fill the gaps one of the most baffling things about the force awakens was raised incredible piloting skills she goes from a girl a dirt scavenger on a nowhere planet yeah okay she has a little speeder bike fine but that's like saying that being able to ride a motorcycle then qualifies you to fly an f-14 fighter they're different skills and yet the second she gets in the Millennium Falcon she is one of the best pilots we've maybe ever seen in Star Wars narrowly fitting through little crevices and whatever else and you go how can she pilot like this what is the possible explanation even in the movie Ray goes out we all assumed I don't know maybe it's something to do with the force maybe she's related to Han Solo so she's innately a good pilot like what is the explanation well here it it's ridiculous Rey reactivated well while living on jakku the long dormant flight simulators on destroyed Star Destroyers what what's that what there's so much there okay first of all you're telling me a Star Destroyer can crash land on a planet and still have enough power and not only are the flight simulators working perfectly look this thing's at an angle if you sit in the flight simulator chair aren't you tilted the whole time trying to run the flight simulator okay she would get in these tilted ass chairs and she learned to pilot at a 45 I have degree angle apparently just she just sit in there booted up in play x-wing vs. TIE fighter all day long that's where she learned to pilot and again this is nonsense okay because if that was true she wouldn't have been so amazed at her own skills when Finn goes how do you pilot how'd you do that she wouldn't have been like I don't know oh my god she would have been like oh wow I don't know I have a little bit of flight simulator training she would have said something like that it wouldn't have clearly JJ was trying to make it sound like this was some sort of weird force ability she had to be an incredible pilot but then that didn't make sense because you ended up being Palpatine's granddaughter and he's not a pilot so they're like I don't know she trained in a flight simulator somewhere what so ridiculous I don't buy it and that that come on this is nonsense number eight senator Leia goes bye-bye now another big question we all had was why is Leia not like in charge of the Republic you know what happiness enna tore something instead she's just still running what is basically the Rebel Alliance which shouldn't even exist anymore okay they won the war they're in charge she should be a senator and here's the explanation for that she was ousted from the Senate by the revelation that Darth Vader was her father what okay is that really so scandalous in this universe like does this universe not understand that someone who literally never met their father probably wasn't influenced by him in any way like literally she was basically adopted at Birth they all but you're related to that evil guy oh that's cool hey you know who else was related to the evil guy the hero of our entire frickin Republic Luke Skywalker who is a legend who's whose legend is passed around the universe okay where people on distant planets go damn it do people not know that Darth Vader was Luke's dad couldn't that be something I could bring up like hi I know you guys want to fire me from the Senate cuz Darth Vader's my father I'd like to bring up that our greatest hero who blew up the Death Star and killed Darth Vader as far as we know killed the Emperor yeah interesting tidbit about him Darth Vader was also his father so I don't know maybe maybe not a good reason to kick me out again it's not mentioned in the movies I really don't think JJ Abrams ever thought about any of this but okay that's the explanation number nine the magic dagger of Gondar this knife makes no sense the magic knife we have no idea who made it we don't even know why they made it it's not even like the knife takes you to Edgar's at all the knife tells you where to find the thing to get two eggs at all it's so weird and the knife must have been created in the last thirty years because you have to hold it up to the Death Star which only blew up thirty years ago and then it finds what it's so confusing it has writing on it that tells you what planet to go to and it has a little little dip to come out to point out what the thing is though it doesn't tell you where to stand or what you're trying to do with that little thing you just kind of have to figure it out okay the Death Star is on an ocean planet ocean moon of Endor keffe beer or whatever it's being pelted by waves why would you build a thing a knife that perfectly lines up with a piece of wreckage when that wreckage isn't it gonna a road in to fall apart how long is this knife useful for and okay in the back of my mind I was like well I don't know maybe the Death Star is made of some incredible metal that just like does not deteriorate and the only damage you see here is all of that happen from what it fell out of space but the ocean doesn't actually affect it [ __ ] nope the book very clearly says pelted by angry oceans for decades the Death Star ruins are badly eroded yeah it's a rolling this wouldn't work you know one big wave hits that section and your magic knife is no longer useful it says here it's rotting being eaten away by saltwater debris is washing up on the coast this this secret knife with the perfect little little wave what it doesn't make sense it's so stupid well she's have the night have like a tracking beacon or something in it it would make way more sense than this nonsense you'll hold it up you just magically stand in the right place you holding up oh it's in there I figured it out I you I figured out I did it makes no [ __ ] sense number 10 all about that Palpatine now probably the biggest questions in the book are gonna be about Palpatine right how did Palpatine survive when the Death Star exploded he was the felon in a car he should be dead why is he a crane game holding him up now and moving him around what is going on what was his plan like what does he really want like there's so many questions about Palpatine and the book does an incredible job of answering them let's take a look okay this is chapter 8 the final battle where we're gonna learn what Palpatine was planning okay here's his TIE fighters okay that's interesting I guess here's what he's read Sith trooper looks like cool don't okay I don't really need to see what the red troopers here's who thus if the fleet personnel are everybody who's participating in the battle okay a lot of a lot of Star Destroyers there where can i see Palpatine though what was Palpatine's put wait chapter 9 behind-the-scenes but the final of the final battle and the the dyad and the forest and where's Palpatine where's Palpatine's plan and his plan changed he was he was gonna take over a and then he decided instead he was gonna take over the dot wait what what what the book doesn't say anything about Palpatine all these giant glossy full-color images of every minor character and they're in their secret hopes and fears and everything we learn more about dengar that we do the emperor from this book there is more to be said of how what Dan Carr was up to then the freaking central villain of the whole book if you don't believe me go on Amazon look at these reviews no Palpatine what no Palpatine where is the information on Palpatine this guy has a whole laundry list the loyalists note clones Darkrai and her double bladed lightsaber then solo force yearling dyads in the force layers training none of this is covered or if it is covered it is covered in the most superficial way and remind you this is the official rise of Skywalker visual companion it is supposed to tell us everything about rises to Skywalker but you know why they don't tell you everything cuz they don't know this is my theory is that remember how they kept cutting this movie up until the last minute I think Pablo Hidalgo had chapters on Palpatine he had stuff about the dyad all this stuff and they changed too much of the movie before it released that they're like just we have to get the book out in time for Christmas so just everything that doesn't fit the movie we don't have time to rewrite it just drop it Palpatine is not in the book cuz we don't really know what was going on because up until the last [ __ ] minute we were reshooting scenes to try and explain his plan and the dyad and all this nonsense that's the funniest thing of all that the rise of Skywalker visual companion doesn't know what was going on in rise of Skywalker because the story team has not had time to sort out all this nonsense the story team the Lucasfilm story team is looking at Rey and kylo kissing and they're going Oh God how do we explain that what does that mean anyway if you want a good laugh at all the the wild attempts to try and fix the star quartz universe at last minute I recommend checking out the visual dictionary it is it is a trip it is a trip and again I don't even blame this guy Pablo Hidalgo and the rest of the story team they had to sit out and look at these crappy movies and be like oh god oh god I have no idea rayray learn to pilot from Star Destroyer flight simulators just put it in the book nothing makes any sense oh it's insane weird out more cool videos coming soon please like and subscribe down below and of course my big rise of Skywalker review I'm working on it hopefully it'll be out next month peace and love in 2020 take care of yourself and don't ask questions about where Luke's lightsaber came from I just just think about Maz Kanata and or hard-candy their little pouch of Jolly Ranchers that's what's truly important

Channel: Vito

Views: 279,140

Rating: 4.8481722 out of 5

Keywords: rise of skywalker, star wars, star wars trailer, rise of skywalker trailer, evil rey, is rey evil, worst star wars movie, the last jedi review, rise of skywalker review, rise of skywalker scene, rise of skywalker footage, kylo ren, new star wars trailer, star wars episode 9, episode 9, rise of skywalker interview, rise of skywalker no spoilers, no spoiler review, jj abrams, rian johnson, star wars the rise of skywalker review, star wars review, everything wrong with

Id: C4AT6zukA6Y

Length: 30min 15sec (1815 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 25 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/_pupil_]

There's some quality salt in there.

Like how calling the "Holdo Manoeuvre" the Holdo Manoeuvre reinforces the idea that it's never been done before, and came completely out of the blue, even to the people who live in that universe. Which, to my eyes, only reinforces how little thought went into that hackish writing.

[u/JanBosch1]

I know George disregarded physics a bit with Hyperspace, lightsabers, laser blasters and all that, but it wasn't universe breaking (or immersion breaking). It had some rules and it was consistant. And we had examples of real life stuff: we understand how bullets, swords and flight work.

"spacetime-bending quintessence physics"

Where do I begin with this? From wikipedia:

In physics, quintessence is a hypothetical form of dark energy, more precisely a scalar field, postulated as an explanation of the observation of an accelerating rate of expansion of the universe.

Great job Disney. This has nothing to do with light, matter or energy, but the exact oposite. You cannon see dark energy (if it turns out to be real, that is), so how are you using it to make light visable from solar systems LIGHTYEARS away? How is a laser traveling faster then light? I mean, George had slower-then-light lasers, but they were just glorified bullets. We understand that stuff. We DON'T currently understand quintessence.

Also: bending spacetime isn't connected with quintessence, as far as I understand. The accelerating rate of expansion of the universe isn't breaking physics, or bending spacetime. The universe is causing what we experience AS spacetime, so it cannot bend itself. The acceleration of expansion is unexplained, so dark energy is the current theory. This is still not bending spacetime, but just something we don't understand.

Sidenote: how are you sending light through hyperspace? Doesn't hyperspace require a internal powersource? Like with a ship? How is a LASER doing that? Is this Doom3 physics, where a plasmabolt has internal computing power to seek the best targets? Fuck that's stupid.

This is me trying to deconstruct 4 words that Disney just threw out there to make a stupid visual make sense, but none of it works. I leave it to others to rip this stupid book a new one.

[u/911WhatsYrEmergency]

If SW fans weren’t such mindless zombies no one would buy this shit and Disney would be forced to fire KK and hire someone actually competent.

But no

I can just imagine all the Galaxy brains opening this book with their sweaty palms and getting excited just at the mere thought that this is SW content.

[u/Trajforce]

The junior novel? I'm sure that the normal one is still not out yet

[u/EriadorRanger]

That background music sounds a little too familiar...

[u/Darth_Revan01]

It was written by a lunatic so is not surprising.