>> AH, MAN, MEN IN BLACK. >> Jimmy: I KNOW YOU ONLY BROUGHT ONE SUIT, BUT I HAVE A HUNDRED SUITS UPSTAIRS. >> WHAT ARE WE THINKING. >> Jimmy: NOBODY SAID YOU'RE DRESSED EXACTLY LIKE BILL. MAYBE CHANGE THE TIE. >> WELL, I TOOK OFF MY FEDORA AND SUNGLASSES AT LEAST. I WAS ABOUT TO COME OUT AS THE BLUES BROTHERS. >> Jimmy: WHERE IS MY HARMONICA. WHICH BLUES BROTHERS WOULD WE BE? >> YOU JUST PICKED ONE, RIGHT? >> Jimmy: HEY, I'M EXCITED ABOUT "BARRY" COMING BACK. I LOVE THE SHOW. HONESTLY, DO I LOVE IT. [ APPLAUSE ] ARE YOU FINISHED SHOOTING THE WHOLE SEASON? >> NO, NO. WE'RE IN A POST PRODUCTION RIGHT NOW. >> Jimmy: POST PRODUCTION. >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: THAT'S LIKE WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THE SHOW IS OVER. YOU USED TO WORK IN POST PRODUCTION. >> YEAH, I USED TO WORK IN POST PRODUCTION. I WAS THE POST P.A. I USED TO BRING THE EDITORS FOOD AND COFFEE AND STUFF. AND I WORKED ON A SHOW CALLED "THE SURREAL LIFE." YOU REMEMBER "THE SURREAL LIFE" WHERE THEY PLUGGED A BUNCH OF CELEBRITIES AND PUT THEM IN A HOUSE. >> Jimmy: YES, INDEED. CELEBRITIES IN THE HOUSE. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: ON ONE HAND YOU'RE A CELEBRITY. >> ON THE OTHER HAND YOU'RE ON "SURREAL LIFE." WE HAD COREY FELDMAN, AND HE GOT MARRIED. I WAS SO BUMMED OUT, BECAUSE I LIKE REALITY SHOWS. AND THEN IT WAS LIKE WHEN I REALIZED REALITY SHOWS WERE FAKE, I WAS THAT DUMB. I WAS LIKE 20. WAIT, WHAT? THEY DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER? WHAT? BECAUSE THEY HAD THIS MOMENT WHERE COREY FELDMAN, I WAS -- AND THE EDITOR WAS WATCHING THIS. THIS THING WITH COREY FELDMAN, AND HE WAS GETTING A -- HE WAS CRYING. [ LAUGHTER ] AND HE WAS GOING LIKE I'M JUST -- I'M JUST SO WORRIED THAT EVERYTHING THAT'S GOING ON WITH ME RIGHT NOW, AND I -- I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN. AND I'M REALLY WORRIED. AND I COULD HEAR THE PRODUCER OFF CAMERA GO "THAT WAS GREAT, CORY. CAN YOU JUST SAY THIS WEEKEND?" WHAT? NO PROBLEM. THIS WEEKEND. AND I WAS LIKE WHAT? NO! >> Jimmy: WHAT OTHER SHOWS DID YOU WORK ON WHEN YOU WERE DOING THAT KIND OF STUFF? >> I WORKED ON "SCORPION KING". >> Jimmy: OH, THE WITH THE ROCK. AND INVENTED LIFE WITH JAMES FRANCO. JAMES FRANCO, THE FIRST TIME HE HOSTED "SNL." AND WE WERE IN THE ROOM WHERE WE MET EACH OTHER. AND HE LOOKED AT ME AND HEY, MAN, WEREN'T YOU ON -- YOU WERE A P.A., RIGHT? BUT ON THAT SHOW, THERE IS THIS FUNNY SHOW. A P.A.s, WE DON'T HANG OUT. AND THERE IS THIS GUY NAMED BIG -- I WAS LITTLE BILL ON THAT SHOW BECAUSE THERE WAS BIG BILL. HE IS 6'7". AND THIS OTHER GUY NAMED JASON ALTIERI. JASON HAD THIS GIANT BOWIE LIFE LIKE A RAMBO KNIFE, AND HE WAS HITTING A TREE WITH IT. THIS IS WHAT WE WOULD DO. THIS IS HOLLYWOOD, GUYS. >> Jimmy: YOU'RE PRACTICING EDITING. >> HE IS EDITING, YEAH. EDITING. >> Jimmy: THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY. >> THIS IS THE WAY THEY DID IT ON "GONE WITH THE WIND." YOU GOT TO GET YOUR EDITING THING TOGETHER, YOUR EDITING ARM DOWN. SO HE WAS CUTTING THIS THING AND WE WERE LAUGHING, AND BILL COMES OVER. HEY, THIS IS THE CIGARETTE. YOU REALLY SHOULD STOP MESSING WITH THE KNIFE AND JAY WENT EH, EH. AND HE SAID HEY, DON'T DO THAT. AND HE WALKED AWAY. AND BUCKY OUR PROP GUY CAME OVER. AND HE SAID HEY, I'VE GOT THAT EXACT SAME KNIFE, BUT IT'S RETRACTIBLE. IT'S FAKE. SO HE GETS THE FAKE ONE. HE IS DOING THIS. AND IT'S ONE OF THOSE THINGS WHERE WE WAITED LIKE AN HOUR. LIKE YOU COULDN'T GO HEY, BILL, COME OVER HERE. YOU HAD TO BE LIKE HE HAS TO JUST WALK OVER. SO WE'RE WAITING FOR AN HOUR, AND JAY IS LIKE IS HE OVER OR NOT? COME ON. FINALLY BILL COMES OVER. FINALLY YOU'RE STILL MESSING WITH THE KNIFE? STOP MESSING WITH THE KNIFE. I TOLD YOU, DON'T DO IT? AND HE STUCK HIM RIGHT IN THE CHEST. AND BILL WENT WHY! [ LAUGHTER ] HE THOUGHT HE WAS MURDERED. HE LEGIT THOUGHT HE JUST GOT MURDERED. AND WE WERE OH, WE WERE LAUGHING SO HARD. WHY! CALL HIS PARENTS TO TELL HIS FINAL WORDS. WHAT DID BILL SAY? WAIT, WAIT UNTIL YOU HEAR WHAT HE SAID. HE YELLED "WHY."
"He tought he was murdered."
I love that line.
I feel like "Why?" is a pretty reasonable reaction to someone you know suddenly stabbing you.
I did not expect to laugh THAT hard at this story. Bill Hader is hilarious, and the story seemed like it was gonna be good, but it really got me.
When I was a kid my brother had a kitchen knife and out of nowhere stabbed me in the gut. Or so I thought. He dropped the knife at the last second. I legit thought he stabbed me. I said “I’m dead.” That was my stupid 13 year old reaction....I’m dead.
Bill Hader is a really good story teller. Here is where he was on Conan talking about IT 2 : https://youtu.be/e2LGfUQ2L5o
He also has a great story about selling something to Michael Bay when Armageddon came or the time he got fired for spoiling Titanic when he worked in a movie theatre;
"a group of sorority girls came in and were blocking the doors. I asked them to move ... They were being really rude to me. So, as I tore the tickets I said, ‘By the way the boat sinks at the end, Leo dies ... It’s great, you think he’s sleeping, but he’s frozen! Oh and the old lady throws the jewelry in the ocean. Enjoy the movie.’ My always-stoned boss had to come over and go, ‘Did you just tell them the end of Titanic? I have to fire you.’”
Bill Hader seems to be one of the few folks in TV that really, really loves their job.
WHYYY?!
Been on Reddit enough my brain read 'poop knife.'
Ooohhh, "prop" knife. I was worried that was a lot more common than I thought