So about two years ago, Netflix decided to
dip its toes into the high-reward, low-risk world of Wattpad, and gave us the movie we
didn’t know we never wanted: The Kissing Booth. And now that we’re all stuck inside all
the time and desperate for any kind of escapism, Netflix over here thought it’d be a great
idea to pull a practical joke and give us The Kissing Booth 2, AKA the Macaroni Grille
gift card of movies. But, as is my cross to bear, I figured I should
probably check it out. So, let's take a walk. but before that really quick... We start off pretty much the same as the first
movie, with our main character Elle giving us a little montage about what she’s been
doing since we last saw her way back in the simpler, much more innocent time of 2018. Lemme bring you up to speed. As soon as school ended the Flynn's opened
up their beach house. Noah and I spent the whole summer there. Got an awesome gift. Played board games ‘til 3 in the morning! Said hi to an old friend. Watched a gorgeous sunset. Watched Noah sleep. Well yeah sure, ‘cause he’s got one of
them hot guy sleep faces y’know where he just lays there looking like, “What if an
angel just fell out of the sky?” meanwhile the rest of us are just over here
like *gurgling snoring sounds*. Anyway, so after all this setup we finally
get to the first day of senior year. Right off the bat we once again meet Elle’s
best friend Lee, who is this guy in case you forgot. Just don’t end up grinding coochies with
my brother. Yep. Then there’s Lee’s girlfriend Rachel from
the first movie. And of course the OMG Girls who I had completely
forgotten about until right this moment. Oh my god Ellen, how are you? SO many beautiful girls at Harvard. Long distance is tough. The breakups are brutal. So brutal. We didn’t break up though. With different zip codes, breakups are basically
automatic. I wanna take a peek at the new snack that
just transferred in. Saw him in homeroom, his name is Marco and
he is seriously luscious. Excuse me? The new kid is luscious? I’ve always thought it was so funny how
like there was this stereotype about how guys talk about girls in like the locker room or
whatever, but as someone who was friend zoned by every girl in my high school I’ll tell
ya right now, the way girls talk about the guys they like is just, graphically inappropriate. So I hear you got a new boy toy over there
huh, what’s going on with that? Dude, sit down. Let me tell you. He’s got this jawline, I swear I could slice
roast beef on it. All I think about is how much I just wanna
dribble hot fudge on his stomach just so I can lick it off and do it again. His butt is like a carnival balloon made out
of cake I just wanna take a pin and keep popping it until 4 o’clock in the morning. I WANNA DUCT TAPE HIM TO THE WALL PUT MY FACE
IN HIS CHEST AND JUST GO BRBRRBRBRB. Anyway, so later on, in a shocking turn of
events, Elle and Lee once again decide to do a kissing booth for the school fundraiser. And since things went so well last year, everyone
else in the school is basically just begging them to do it too at this point. HOWEVER, there is one small problem. What we’re all actually curious about is,
who you’ve selected for the lineup of kissers this time? Because without Flynn as a headliner to draw
in business, the booth may. . .not do so well this year. A-uh, that’s a good point. Last year’s gonna be hard to top. Quite true. Thoughts? Well actually the thoughts that we’re having. Right, right. That’s a good point. Aw shucks. Where else in this Netflix high school could
you possibly get another 25-year-old teenager? And so now Elle and Lee need to find some
local hunkaroos, you know what I'm sayin’, to headline this year’s kissing booth. That night, Elle’s having some kind of like
Zoom conference thing with Noah and they’re talking about like how much they miss each
other and their future together and all that sappy garbage you know that makes their assigned
FBI agent just go like, “Not this again. No not again. *gags to death* Miss you, jerk. Miss you more. So you big man on campus yet? no, not exactly. It’s kind of different here. What do you mean? Well, uh, um. . . What’s wrong? Nothing, no, nothing’s wrong. Just, doesn’t matter. So during this conversation, Noah floats the
idea that Elle could maybe sorta kinda apply to Harvard or one of many other schools around
Boston so they could like hang out together and all that, because you know Noah’s just
over here being a little sad anime boy, alright? If you don’t get into Berkeley maybe you
can to school here, with me. I’d like that. You obviously couldn’t see this but, my
heart just did a backflip. Now of course, this being the Kissing Booth,
Elle is also worried about breaking one of the set in stone rules of the Hammurabi’s
code of friendship that she and Lee had written back when they were like six or whatever,
which is rule 19, always go to the same school as your bestie. Not to be confused with rule 29, always go
everywhere with your bestie. The next scene in the movie is this amazingly
out-of-place bizarre sequence where Elle is watching a video of that new kid the OMG Girls
were talking about before, named Marco, and he’s all like working out and being all
sweaty and stuff, and Elle calls him a snack like at least 45 times, and wouldn’t you
know she accidentally turns on the school intercom while she’s doing this, so the
whole school hears everything. So relatable! And after she somehow survives this embarrassment,
guess who goes up to her in the hallway to say hello. I take it you’re the one from the intercom? Yeah they’re already calling me the “get
it, girl” but I go by Elle. So is that like your thing? Remind girls of horrible moments in their
life? I didn’t mean it like that. To be honest, I could barely hear what you
were saying. That is great news. I’m a little hungry so, I’m go gonna get
myself. . . a snack. No no no no no, don’t make that face. Don’t be proud of yourself for that. How about you just leave the jokes to the
professionals, alright? Let me at least have one thing over you. So as you may recall from like, two minutes
ago, Elle and Lee need to find some dudes for the kissing booth, and Lee thinks Marco
would be perfect, but, Elle doesn’t wanna ask him for really no particular reason, but
then like three scenes later she and Lee are hanging out in the arcade and they just so
happen to run into Marco, of all people. Look who’s here. Ooh, this is perfect! We need a headliner for the booth. Nooo! Everyone’s obsessed with him! Why?! You promised the hottest kissers. Like last year. You get him, everyone else will just fall
in line. Eh-h-ugh, fine! And so Elle goes up to him and just kinda
asks him all casual y’know like, “Excuse me, Mr. 29-Year-Old-High-School-Kid, would
you be interested in kissing a bunch of 16-year-old girls for charity? Well golly gee I suppose I would, but only
if you beat me in Dance Dance Revolution first! Huzzah! What a completely normal turn of events. And then, that’s what happens. But of course wouldn’t you be shocked to
learn that Marco is some kind of Dance Dance Revolution master or something, which I’m
not quite sure how to feel about this because I was the DDR king of my high school, and
the only thing I got to show for it was the Anyway, long story short Elle wins and now
Marco’s gotta do some kissin’. Oh my gosh, yes! Is this how you spend your Friday nights? Conning people on the DDM machine? Aaaah! See you at the booth, MVP! A little while after this, Elle goes to visit
Noah in Boston and we get yet another montage because, like, how else are you gonna pad
out this paper-thin story for TWO HOURS AND TWELVE MINUTES?! Anyway, that night she goes to hang out with
some of Noah’s Harvard friends for dinner, and this is where we get to meet a certain
someone named Chloe. Hello, gorgeous. Mmmm. . . So good to see you. You look beautiful. Thank you. Oh my god, wait no, is this Elle? My god, you’re gorgeous. Too bad this one here’s so ugly though,
isn’t it? But he does do as he’s told so. . . I keep him around. Now as if Elle wasn’t already stressed enough
with having college interviews lined up, and now there’s this Chloe girl who’s all
gorgeous and seems to be reeeal buddy buddy with Noah okay, you know what I’m sayin’? And if THAT wasn’t enough, the next day
Elle finds a stray earring under Noah’s bed and ends up checking his phone to find
all kinds of dirty illicit texts between him and Chloe?! What’s going on? Gotta get to the airport. Talk to me, what’s up? If you wanna talk to someone just. . .check your phone. Elle! Elle! But then that night Noah calls her and tells
her that there’s nothing going on between them and there’s nothing to worry about
and she’s overreacting, and you know, all those TYPICAL BOYFRIEND LIES. Now while all this is going on, yet another
plot thread we have is that Elle needs to get some money so she can go to a private
university up in Boston (if she wants to be around Noah) because her dad doesn’t quite
have enough saved up for her to go to one of these kinda schools, and serendipitously,
wouldn’t you know, there just so happens to be a Dance Dance Revolution tournament
in like two months that would solve all of her problems, apparently. Wait, you’re not actually thinking we could-- Uh, win the freestyle category? That’s exactly what I’m thinking. Well actually we are pretty good at this,
aren’t we? Pretty good?! We’ve had the top score for four years! Ooh, we could even make team t-shirts! Yes, team t-shirts! Why not! Sure! But, because Rachel wants to spend more time
with Lee, he pretends to twist his ankle so he can’t dance anymore. However, in case you forgot, there is a particular
someone who is pretty good at the old DDR and is still somehow desirable to every girl
in school. PSH, yeah okay Netflix, whatever you say. And thus begins the eye-rollingly nauseating
“will they, wont they” part of our film as Marco and a rather vulnerable Elle start
practicing together and spending some You put a lot of pressure on yourself. Yeah well, how else are you gonna get what
you want? I don’t know. I don’t like making plans. Just kinda roll with things. Yeah but, what do you wanna do? Not sure. Be happy? Yeah you know, it’s just so hard to find
happiness being tall dark and handsome and all that. Just living life by the tip of my Adam’s
apple. So they spend the whole day together, talking
about personal stuff and. . . other stuff, probably. And then the conversation drifts over to Elle
and Noah and what’s been going on with all that. I don’t need to get into all the details
but, there’s this girl. And you think he’s involved with her? I mean, he says he’s not. Do you think you and Noah were meant to be
together? I always thought we were. I don’t know Flynn, but, if I found someone
who I loved. . . I’d never make her feel like that. HA okay yeah sure. She’s all emotional, you just upchucked
some nonsense romantic garbage so of course now is the perfect time to pull your guitar
out of LITERALLY NOWHERE. But yeah, so then Marco does his thing and
Elle has the revolutionary idea that, y’know, hot guys who play guitar, maybe they’re
not so bad after all. And then she just kinda stares at him like
this for way too long. So skipping ahead a little bit, one day Elle
is snooping around Chloe’s Instagram for like the five hundredth time, because I mean
yeah Noah says there’s nothing going on, but like c’mon, let’s be real here. See what’d I tell ya! Boys are suck. . .dumb. Anyway, flashing forward, it’s time for
the DDR tournament and long story short, Elle and Marco end up winning. After they perform, Elle just kinda gets swept
up in the moment, and of course there’s the whole like Chloe-Noah-earring thing and
just, everything comes together, and, Marco and Elle maybe sorta kinda end up being like: And wouldn’t you know, turns out Noah flew back for Thanksgiving and he was in the audience
the whole time! So. . .whoops. And so, Elle runs after Noah because she realizes
what she just did BUT it’s too late, he runs away and now he doesn’t return her
calls or her text messages, which apparently she deletes every morning because like why
is every text a brand-new conversation in this movie? Now somehow there’s still forty minutes
of this movie left, so we’re just gonna keep pushing on through. The next day is Thanksgiving dinner at Lee
and Noah’s house and here’s how everything stands at the moment: Lee is upset with Elle
because he found out she applied to Harvard without telling him, Rachel’s upset with
Elle because she never gets one-on-one time with Lee, Noah is upset with Elle because
she kissed Marco, and I’M upset with Elle because there’s gonna be a third one of
these movies next year. Lord, I am ready, take me in your arms! All the same, since Chloe came with Noah to
Thanksgiving dinner, Elle decides it’s about time to give them the old one-two. I’m thankful for my family, that I just
y’know won some money for school. . . oh yeah! Oh my God! I am super duper thankful that um, that I
found Chloe’s earring. Oh my god! Where did you find it? Under Noah’s bed. . . . Well, this is fun. Skipping ahead to the end of the movie because
really nothing important happens anyway, Elle makes up with Lee and Rachel and pretty much
just totally dumps Noah, and then it’s time for the kissing booth. And here’s where we get the emotional climax
between Marco and Elle, when Marco goes up to kiss her. You can’t deny there’s something growing
between us. I don’t know what it is, maybe, maybe we
just got caught up in the moment or something, ‘cause I-- Please, please don’t do that. I do have feelings for you. . . but you’re not the one. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?! Like okay, whether or not Noah may or may
not have cheated, per se, he’s still putting her in this like emotional rollercoaster that’s
clearly driving her crazy. Like real talk, even if the other person is
fine, there’s nothing wrong with breaking up with a situation that’s bad for your
mental or emotional health. Relationships aren’t just about the person
you’re with, but also the world that you share together. I mean Marco comes with zero drama, zero baggage,
better looking may I say, and they share at least one major hobby together besides “Well,
we both kinda like each other so I guess we’re just gonna do this forever”. And like this isn’t even really about the
movie itself but just speaking generally, like some people really just can’t help
but choose misery just because it’s familiar? But anyway, so then after throwing his heart
in a woodchipper she has the audacity to kiss him on the cheek! Why don’t you just spit in his face Elle?! Now, at the very, VERY end of the movie, we
find out that there’s really nothing going on between Noah and Chloe and it was all just
like, one big misunderstanding. How did your earring get under my bed in the
first place? Okay, um. . . when you were out of town for
a football game, I. . . sort of crashed at your place after getting into a fight with
Jason and, the earring must have just fallen off then. Why wouldn’t you tell me that? That’s just-- No I said don’t get pissy! Now that we know what’s happened we can
fix this! And so ultimately Lara Jean chooses Noah Centineo
over John Ambrose. Oh wait, my bad. Elle chooses Noah over Marco for NO REASON
and they meet up at that gazebo thing from the first movie y’know? And everything gets all romantic. I thought I was leaving because of Marco. I don’t care that you kissed him. Do you love him? It’s you, Noah. It’s always been you. And that’s pretty much the end of the movie. Except there is this little thing at the end
where we find out that Elle has been accepted to both UC-Berkeley AND Harvard, all because
of the extremely mediocre essay she wrote about nothing. So, what do I want to be in five years? Well, to be perfectly honest, I haven’t
the slightest idea. So golly gee, what’s she gonna do? I guess we’ll find out in 2021. So there’s a lot of things about this movie
that I. . . thought were very strange. First of all, the fact that it exists in the
first place, seems very unnecessary. The entire movie, the entire main plot of
this movie is that Elle and Noah are incapable of having one adult, mature conversation. Elle is concerned about Chloe, and she’s
too scared to say it directly, she’s too scared to be like “Hey. So you and this Chloe girl. What’s up with that? Like, what’s going on there?”. And Noah is just too dense or too just. . .eh, he’s just, I mean, well, I mean,
he looks like the kinda guy with not a whole lot going on upstairs, you know what I'm sayin’? At the end of the movie, Noah explains that
he wanted to have a friendship with Chloe the same way that Elle has a friendship with
Lee, but he waits ‘til the end of the movie to say it! This movie could have been over in five minutes! I don’t know man, like maybe it’s ‘cause
I’m in my 30s but it’s like I just don’t have time for that anymore like, I’ll tell
you right now, whatever age you are, just say how you feel in just like a calm way and
just have a conversation, man. You could have avoided two hours and twelve
minutes of garbage if you just had one conversation, you know what I’m sayin’? But even besides all of that, the fact that
Elle chooses Noah makes NO sense. Marco is better in every way. I mean both of them have no personality whatsoever,
but Marco at least has no drama no baggage, plays the guitar. Noah is just like a literal slab of wood,
and so, I don’t know why Elle goes for either of these guys, and this movie has like five
different plot threads going through it for no reason, there’s like so many things that
don’t even need to be in the movie whatsoever like, the fact that there’s a whole plot
thread of trying to get Marco to do to the kissing booth and that’s how they find out
that he plays DDR, but then at the end of the movie he doesn’t even do the kissing
booth? That didn’t need to be there. That was like thirty minutes of the movie
that could just cut out. Anyway thank you so much for watching, don’t
forget to subscribe, don’t forget to ring that bell so you don’t miss any videos from
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day and I’ll see you all next time.
