The Godfather explained by an idiot

Welcome to The Godfather We join in with the Godfather himself on his daughter's wedding day now it is important to know the family members so we'll start off with the fan members on the board first off we got Donatello cortisol The Godfather played by Al Pacino he's the big cheese in charge of his family mafia which I think is the most powerful Mafia in the tri-state area he got all these political connections and [ __ ] in his pocket I believe there's five families and this is the most powerful that sounds about right moving on to the children of Mr Cornetto Tom Riddle has adopted son play by Al Pacino who is his family consultant conciliary translate that however he will he cannot be the next Tom because he's not actually blood family so this is kind of the next best thing and the dawn is basically the head of ship so if you look at your penis and it's tip that's the dawn that's why they call it the dong because the rest of it is just a G True Story next son is pasta Alfredo played by Al Pacino he's a [ __ ] and I wasn't really paying enough attention to know that much about him but I'm pretty sure he is [ __ ] useless Michelangelo played by Al Pacino he's a war hero and really wants to stay out of the family business because he doesn't really like that much sunny or Santino played by you guessed that Al Pacino listen I know he's in this movie I just don't know who he plays I'm bound to get it right at some point he's the eldest I think which I guess makes him the next Don he's also a bit hard-headed and impulsive then there's a sister a friend she's unimportant don't worry about it all you need to know about her is that she exists and that she's played by Al capacity I could have just Googled it but I didn't so here we are Francine is getting married and Don Cornetto is having meetings with people in his office meaning what's one dude that he in a long time but still barely knows who's asking him for a favor with Chicana doesn't like because he doesn't know him and he's not his friend and [ __ ] like you come on my daughter is winning you know you know that scene Michael's eating bits lasagna with this girl called potassium some guy says sunny shoes away the FBI Don attends more meetings they resurrect Prince Philip to sing some Italian [ __ ] Johnny Cash comes over and the dawn's like yeah he loves him right because he's his Godfather and he threatened to blow some people's brains out if they didn't let him go from a contract or some [ __ ] and make them famous or some [ __ ] like that right and Tom's like you know he only comes here when he wants something it's no coincidence he came on Francine's wedding day because it is Sicilian tradition that no Sicilian can refuse a request of the daughter's wedding day which is why he's having so many meetings today for favors the Sicilian fathers also set up their daughter's wedding and really hard to reach places so no one can get to them or do they lock themselves up for the most days so no one can ask them for [ __ ] murder as a favor because they're too [ __ ] to call her how insane this tradition is what [ __ ] Sicilian thought this was a good idea anyway Johnny sings to some [ __ ] while Mike tells K that his dad's a Mafia Boss but he is nothing like him he's a completely different man then Johnny goes over to the Dawn and whines to him about this part in this movie that is really perfect for him I'll make him an even bigger star than he already is but bowling problem is he can't get it because the director refuses to give it to him he's like I don't know don't be a little [ __ ] and go deal with your problems now go enjoy the wedding while I go deal with your problems dark gets married and the dawn sends uh Tom over to Hollywood to go make the director and offer but cannot refuse Tom gets there and meets Waltz the director and Waltz denies his request to pick up join the part he's like [ __ ] you strambolically I'm actually half German oh I'm sorry [ __ ] you Nazi but then he invites Tom over to his home shows him his massive [ __ ] Palace on his pride and enjoy a 600 000 horse in 1940s and 50s I mean that's a big deal you know I'm saying that dinner he basically tells him the same thing to [ __ ] off he is never gonna give Johnny the part because basically he's stuck his dick in one of his Investments okay he invested a lot of money in this [ __ ] and he's gonna make a big star and Johnny [ __ ] her probably and got her pregnant or if she left I'm [ __ ] point is she's not around anymore and he has a lot on her and he's mad at Giants he's not going to give him the part and he says that he isn't afraid of any other Scare Tactics so Tom flies back to New York and next day the dude wakes up with his horse's head in his bed he probably beat himself I'm just saying when your body feels wetness swarm witness when you're asleep remembers that ping is a thing and it lets the flood Guys open apparently I know why I mentioned that moving on needless to say Johnny can support next order of business is some dude called solozo who wants to start a cocaine business and he is backed by another family I know what backed means in the scenario but it probably means protected by anyway he's backed by another Mafia Family called the Itty Bitty Titty Committee also known as the tatalias and he wants the political protection that the Cornetto family has in exchange for a cut of the prophets now Tom and Tony think there's good money in hardcore drugs and if they don't get into it now it'll hurt him down the line but although he deals on everything [ __ ] Under the Sun from Gatling to pimping Don thinks drugs are a bad idea and he draws a line at that what a genuine he is so he goes to this meeting and so those are called to relate to him this information that they don't want to take part in his new business venture the Don ain't [ __ ] though he knows that soloso might be a sneaky picky [ __ ] so he sends this fat dude Luca over undercover to the Tatiana family who are protecting soloso to find out more but lord ass doesn't get far because as soon as he sets through the doors of the title family they stab him in the hand and choke him to death after that the Don's bodyguard calls in sick that day so he goes home with pasta Alfredo but before they do that he wants to buy some fruit and when he does that he spots two people running at him with guns so he tries to run him back to his car but he doesn't make it in time to get shot five times in his back and Fredo is too dim with it clumsy and slow to do anything and while his dad leads out in the middle of the street he's like ah yeah that'll help [ __ ] strong so how about you [ __ ] do something like call an ambulance or run after the people also what [ __ ] my boss doesn't have a gun on him Donatello Cornelius whatever Mike is walking hey I'm walking yeah sorry I was walking around with Kate talking with Kate like babe would you still let me if I was a worm hell no how the [ __ ] I'm supposed to stick my dick in the worm because he could wrap it around his dick like a Chris [ __ ] ring they find out in the newspapers that his dad got popped so he crosses the street to make a phone call in the phone booth where's the new stand guy yelling at him for stealing two newspapers and throwing them in the street this is not realistic this is New York where's the yelling where's the hustle where's the random homeless man charging his phone from the only outlet outside the Empire State Building while eating a pizza doesn't matter whether it's happening so also got his hands on Tom and told him what he did to his dad Don and told him to go calm Sunny down before he does anything rash and causes a war between the five families in New York because the support to Italia's and it'll be a big thing and so on and when they let him go to get back to family and tell him this message they find out that the dawn survived the five shots to the back Tom gets to Sunny and they found out that Luca is sleeping with the fishes everyone is guarding the house and the hospital that Don's in and next day his men take out the trader bodyguard that call in sick that they tilpin is killing why the hell would you stand in front of the fire line while pissing even if you're standing off by an angle so you don't get shot it's still kind of a bad idea isn't it anyway Mike goes to see his woman who spun I love you on him at the worst possible time he doesn't say it back he goes to see his dad in the hospital which is equally quiet and suspiciously empty almost like someone cleared it out for an assassination on the dawn thankfully it hasn't happened yet though a nurse walks in and tells him that the cops made everyone clear out 10 minutes ago so he calls up his brother get more win over there while he and the blissfully unaware nurse moves that into another room then some dude comes up and it's not an assassin but Enzo not Ferrari Enzo the baker one of the people that asked for a favor the winning of the movie from Don and Mike tells him that there's insurance that he should leave but the guy wants to sing and help so he's like okay if you want to help meet me downstairs in one minute and he stands outside the hospital with him and they both pretend like they have guns which is enough to scare away the real assassins who roll up just seconds later then roll away because they're there pretending to have guns and right after the cops arrive like I thought I cleared out you guinea pigs how much is a stromboli [ __ ] paying you to set up my father arrest him he didn't do anything and he's a war hero I said I arrest him I am the captain don't talk back to me I have a fragile and small penis while TMI cap TMI shut up you're not my wife can't tell me whenever share then time around some guys like these are private detectives legally allowed to carry guns other big lawwards stuff stuff and I'll let my homie go and [ __ ] off her face the consequences he's the family lawyer so he said some scary legal stuff and they [ __ ] off I forgot to mention that so security is now up to tenfold the Bros get together and find out that soloso wants to have a meeting with Mike and the police captain that he has in his backpack on having a police captain in his back pocket like that it makes him invulnerable because no one has ever gone down a police cabin and that will surely get all the families in New York to turn against them and probably lose them all the political connections so they are kind of in a bind now with this meeting they want to have with Mike then they want to have a meeting with Michael because he's known as the civilian of the family the guy that doesn't want any part of the family business so they probably think that he won't try anything funny when they're negotiating a new deal or something I'm just guessing here all right but little did they know Mr keep me out of the family business is slowly changing his mind to that [ __ ] proposition he says that if they insist to have this meeting on a public place find out where this place is and since they were 100 Pat him down to check him for weapons before this meeting if the Corleone family can get a gun and they're hided somewhere he will go get this gun and kill them both then go into hiding while [ __ ] clubs down and they use all their Connection in the newspaper to show how Shady this cop was and grow hatred for this cop so it won't seem as bad that they killed and get real-life camera points until [ __ ] calms down enough that he can come back so acclimited this fat dude associate of their family makes him an untraceable gun taped off the handle and the trigger with this special tape that leaves no fingerprints behind okay but what about this part where his thumb will clearly rests it's resting on it right now tip it up better [ __ ] doesn't matter the time comes Mike gets in the car with soluto and the cap they pat him down they take him to this small Restaurant in the Bronx so those who speaks to him in some Italians then Mike excuse himself to go to the bathroom real quick gets the gun from behind the up top poop box walks back and kills them both Papa and does not leave the way chlamydia told him to he did not drop the gun with his arms to the side of his body so people still think he has it and he looks somewhere in the face which he was not supposed to do and this dead body just blinked that's the second time looking at dead bodies and movies to catch him moving worked at all for me in a row two for two [ __ ] anyway after that diarrhea hits the blender blades there's cop killer in the news there's cop sucks in the news Don comes back to recover in his home and they send the Michael over to Sicily for hiding but it's getting increasingly more dangerous there because his enemies know that he's there but while he's there he goes to this town of Corleone I don't know if it's a place or a family maybe the family is named after the place doesn't matter he sees a hot female there and immediately decides that he wants her puss puss and he stumbles on her dad and asks for his daughter's hand in marriage that [ __ ] didn't even take five minutes then in another five minute Montage he gets to know her gets married to her and she whips out her titties meanwhile back in New York Sunny is beating up his sister's husband for beating up his sister then jackass goes back for domestic violence round two on his sister Sonny finds out and immediately rushes over there to beat his sister's husband up again or kill him we'll never know because he gets to come down on his way over there at a toll booth and how fast was this linguine [ __ ] driving to have the car following him for protection arrive this late to the shooting they took off right after him anyway Mike gets his news in Sicily and he gets news that it is even more dangerous for him to stay here and they have to move him right now but it's too late because just as fast as she whipped her chimichangas out the [ __ ] gets blown up in a car bomb meant for him so in hindsight it wasn't that smart to have a big fast sillian wedding that alerts all your enemies where you are like a bad signal in the night sky it wasn't such a good idea now was it Compadre doesn't matter [ __ ] is dead who cares Don cortisol gets better and hears the news of his dead son and his other son in hiding so he sets up a meeting with the five families to stop this war because all businesses suffering from their little Feud and he lost his son tataya lost his son I don't know when that happened maybe soloso was son I don't know honestly my brain is hanging on by a thread at this point I can't keep up it's all Tony Tony linguine fettuccine Mussolini how am I supposed to keep track of this [ __ ] anyway in order to keep the peace and bring back Mike safely from hiding he'll play ball and share his contacts and enter the drug trade with them on the condition that is highly regulated and after the meeting he notes that the head of this other family Martini is the one calling the shots not Natalya so Maki comes back safely and a year later he finds his old girl like hey how to do I know I was missing and hiding without a single word to you for a year not totally could have taken you with me but how about to get married and make some children together you know what I'm saying that works by the way she's down to clown even though he told her that he works for his father now but he did promise that the family business will go legit in five years time well he did not tell her though is that he is now the new [ __ ] Don because his dad is getting old and sick and over time he makes a lot of business moves and shuffles a lot of people around in order to buy out this casino in Vegas from a business partner called Mo green and Market it with the star power of Johnny Cash but Mo green does not want to sell and gets really mad at Mike and as time goes on he has a kid with K and weird cheek 50 accuracy Al Pacino old on gets weaker so Martini smells blood in the water and once it dry Drive the colion family out of town so Al Pacino warns Al Pacino of this that bardini will want to set up a meeting with him and whoever comes to him with this information is probably a trailer he's also pretty sad because he never won this life for his son Mikey but he's like whatever my ass fat regardless later on old guy Corleone dies is playing with his grandson grandson [ __ ] Waters his dead body and at the funeral Mike is approached by one of his associates the Tesco guy to set up a meeting with Martini which makes this long time associate the traitor and not the other fat guy Clemente guy then at the baptism of his sister's new kid where he's becoming the Godfather of this kid the transition is complete [ __ ] has come full circle from I don't want to take part in the family business to becoming The Godfather himself while that's happening his men assassinate kill take care of whatever you want to call it they put some people to bed with the fishes these people are all the heads of the five families including tatalya and martinim they also kill Mo green they shoot him in the [ __ ] eye when you get a shot on the head like that you don't lay down peacefully that [ __ ] drops like a melon whatever though after the baptization they take care of Tesco the trader then go deal with Carlo Mike's sister's husband who beat her up the second time in coordination with Martini's mental kill Sunny because he kind of deal with them obviously he kills him as well although he promised he wouldn't because he didn't want to make his sister Widow but needed he doesn't tell sister but she finds out that her husband is dead and she figures that Mikey killed her piece of [ __ ] husband and gets hysterically mad at that then Mikey likes his wife about it while touching some faces this movie gets 302 cats out of 56 Acres of prime New York real estate [Music] [Music]

Channel: High Boi

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Keywords: high boi, the godfather, high boi explains, the godfather recap, movie recap, funny movie recap, haha, lol

Id: 34WpqCawXvk

Length: 11min 47sec (707 seconds)

Published: Sun Dec 11 2022