Getting Stray Cats High To Stop Them Eating My Pets

[Music] how you going so i've got a problem chubby cats in my yard you know i used to have heaps of native birds lizards frogs possums and even little monkeys running around in my garden but now they've all been eaten and replaced with fat cats and i tried dealing with this issue before by making a pathetic little squirting robot that i was hoping would spray water at the cats terrifying them so much that they would run away and tell all their mates to keep clear of my yard but who would have guessed that after i stupidly placed heaps of tuna cans down in my yard to get the cats positioned where i could squirt them and take photos that i've kind of created a bigger problem and now more cats keep coming back for the all you can eat fish and shower buffet combo and more and more in total i've counted around 15 different cats and i probably see them now on a daily basis and to make it worse they often wake me up at night with their domestic arguments wait shut up thank you and i am dreaming of the day when the native animals will once again return to my yard living in a happy symbiotic relationship with everything in it so today i'm going to try and make that [Music] happen [Music] all right so let's quickly make an unbiased pros and cons list of cats to work out how abusive i'm allowed to be to them and first up they're kind of hot you know that probably the most bootylicious animal out there and i'm not being creepy by saying this society is think about halloween and every party they're always filled with hundreds of cliched girls dressed up as naughty cats it's like the default costume for any girl wanting to be attractive why not dogs or fish you know i'm still waiting for frog woman and i don't know why we think they're so hot maybe it's not actually the inherent characteristics of cats that turn us on but because throughout history we have associated cats with women in this strange mysterious seductive way like look at the egyptians they fetishized cats so much that they wanted to be tied up in eternity with them or maybe it actually is a cat thing you know because after hours of scratching the crap out of you they still need to get a feed out of you so they seduce you by walking over and wrapping their tail around your legs rubbing them up and down while dancing on you making you feel dirty like a stripper pole and an outback trucker bar and then you're slightly turned on but you realize it's a cat so you quickly feed it and then book a session with your therapist and i have no idea how to feel about this characteristic so it's going right in the middle all right next murder they are very good at murder i actually kind of respect how good at murder they are and of all the pets cats are probably the best evolved killers in the world they have knives glued to their hands do parkour see in the dark and have a kill to death ratio of one billion to one it's estimated every year cats kill two billion native animals in australia while also spreading deadly parasites this parasite infects the brain of animals even humans and slows them down making them calmer around cats and the government has tried lots to stop their killing rampage like making murder illegal in australia setting up cat barriers and paying people to hunt them but nothing seems to stop them murdering small birds mammals and reptiles except for one thing being very large which works for big animals in australia like this emu here and here so their murdering abilities are going to be a con as i don't really want australia to be filled with giant birds as they kind of freak me out a little bit but maybe you're into big bird and you may feel different okay next point they own you you know with normal pets like a fish turtle or dog you get them and it's very clear to the pet and to you that you're the boss you know you feed them provide shelter and love in return for a small amount of daily animal affection which keeps you going in your depressing life but with cats that's not really the case they are hunters straddling the line between domestic and wild one minute they're entertaining you playing with a stupid toy and the next they're roaming the night committing genocide you really can't tell them what to do in a study about emotional attachment between owner and pet scientists drew lines on the ground and tested the response that pets had to being left without their owners the lines showed that cats don't really feel much emotional attachment and don't really care about their owner which makes me wonder why people really like them as pets at all like you know there are other options like ants they're cheap plentiful fit in your pocket and can actually be very emotionally supportive nice thank you all right i'm out of jokes so let's just go catch these fat cats when i tried this before in my last video i got a lot of comments calling me a monster for scaring cats and i do understand caring for cats i feel bad for them as well as after all it's not their fault they're just doing what they were born to do murder everything and we're actually the ones who were the dicks because we introduced them to the environment in the first place but i still feel scaring them is justified as slightly spooking them could stop them from coming into my yard potentially saving lives and if it's a choice between slightly scaring a cat or letting cute animals get ripped apart the only logical choice is to spook some cats and if you think otherwise your brain is definitely being controlled by one of these boys now before i resort to fully spooking them i'm going to try some less traumatic deterrence to see if they do anything and some of you suggested all i need to do is board up the holes in my fence but i've tried this and covered them all up except the ones i use regularly but like i said before the cats know parkour and while watching and chasing the cats in my yard i've actually seen them jump this six foot fence in a single bound it's crazy i am so jealous of their skills so fixing the gaps alone won't help as when i close that one up they just find another way into my yard and then they usually bring back up as well and at least when this gap is open i know the exact point at which they will enter my yard allowing me to set up some traps okay my first trap is going to be some cucumbers and i'm sure you've all seen these videos where cats freak out about cucumbers in hilarious ways and some people reckon it's because they are snake shaped scaring the cats and stressing them out and after testing it first on humans i reckon this could work so i put three down under the gate in front of rattus rattus's house and left them there overnight to scare some cats and first up is this chubby black boy who seems slightly hesitant but still manages to squeeze his tummy under the gate and crosses the cucumber front line before the camera cut out and then this patchy girl who doesn't think twice about them and walks right on over and to no one's surprise cucumbers don't seem to do anything i also decided to try putting them in the shape of a snake but nah that didn't work either now i'm starting to realize this probably only works on dumb cats that have never actually seen snakes not on aussie cats they don't care at all and actually i don't even know why i've been mucking around with the vegetable version i should just try the real thing and i picked this guy out as i thought it looked pretty similar to this thick boy the native death adder and i think it's got a better chance of working if they can't see the snake at first and kind of get surprised by it so i'll leave it behind this wall and nothing maybe it's too dark and rainy but the chubby cat did seem to look at it and did not care and it's probably because the cats in my yard are too chilled out you know they need to be on edge and super anxious so i thought what makes me [Music] paranoid so catnip is either going to make them really calm or really aggressive either one is funny and while researching catnip i found that apparently even big cats like lions can't resist it so i got a little sidetracked for a moment and reached out to my local zoo to ask if i could get their big cats high and they're yet to get back to me but they haven't said no so hopefully in a couple of weeks you'll all see a news article titled youtuber mauled to death by stoned lions but in the meantime i managed to find a friend that was happy to let me drag their cat for youtube views and to see what catnip does thanks maddie [Music] catnip belongs to the mint family and when inhaled by cats acts as a sedative once calm cats usually roll and flip around with it in a playful manner however in some cats it has a similar effect to lsd producing hallucinations and can cause some cats to become quite paranoid especially when mixed which is why you never mix your catnip kids and these paranoid properties as well as the fact that it is an appetite suppressant are exactly what i'm looking for as hopefully the cats in my yard will be tripping out so hard and unhungry that they'll have no chance of catching my animals and ignoring all the stuff i said earlier about cats as pets this guy was actually very cute and a lot of fun to play with milos milosh milos so let's see if the cats in my yard have a similar reaction so i just set up a little bowl in their walking path and left it overnight and first to come was this little chubby funster who doesn't seem to care and passes by twice more without having a whiff and then the same for this patchy girl and i don't really care and that might be because my suburb has pretty high recreational use of catnip so the cats in my yard have built up a tolerance and are used to much higher quality stronger stuff but it might also be because they can't properly smell it so i built this cat tunnel which will force whatever crawls through it to hopefully get real close to the cat nip getting a nice big whiff and the first cat to come along is this pure white girl who probably recognizes the old catnip tunnel trap and refuses to enter and the same with this scared old looking guy who just runs away and then this patchy girl who almost gets the courage to come inside the wonderful catnip tunnel but then backs out but then this big chubby fella comes along and judging by his size is not the best at self-control and passes straight through the tunnel getting a good whiff of the catnip and it must have taken a bit for the catnip to hit him as he comes back a bit later to get another whiff and then he really gets into it plonking his fat butt right in front of the camera he then rolls around in it covering his whole body and face in it and this is probably the first time he's ever had a hit of catnip as he is absolutely loving it like look at those pupils that is one high kitty who will hopefully be too spaced out to touch any of my animals but he seems to be the only one that really enjoys it so i'm gonna have to come up with something else to stop the other cats and i thought what do they hate the most dogs so i bought this dog pee stuff which is meant to help you toilet train dogs so you put it any way you want them to be and i just put a thick line of the stuff under the gate and first to show up was this old guy i've noticed is very skittish and quite cautious and he gave it a good sniff before deciding he didn't want anything to do with dog piss but he didn't stop these other guys who apparently love dog piss and came under the gate rubbing themselves all over it including this fat guy and my brother and that didn't work so let's move on to a commercial product which looks a little like a landmine but unfortunately is not it's kind of a motion sensing disco light for cats so i'm just hoping my cats don't like disco and first up is the shy old guy from before who i reckon must have served in nam as he seems quite suspicious of the land mine and knows what's up but he still can't resist and gets too close setting it off freaking out and runs to never be seen again that night then this patchy girl walks right in front of it with no hesitation and gets scared off but then comes back only four minutes later and pulls off some sweet catwoman moves and figures out that she can just walk around the sensor in the bushes dodging the laser clever girl and this just shows that being scared once doesn't really bother them and they will just find another way to get into my yard so i thought i would give it one last shot by putting all the obstacles in my yard together creating this beautiful catwalk obstacle tunnel it's amazing so the plan is that they will enter here getting a good whiff of the catnip hopefully spacing them out then they head down past the dog piss which puts them on edge then they get to the snake which is hidden behind this block hopefully scouring them and then if they make it to the end the disco ball goes off and they have a party and first to arrive is this pair of demonic eyes which belong to a chubby body and he's a bit hesitant at first but walks straight through the tunnel ignoring everything before the camera stops working then the old guy comes along and doesn't want anything to do with the tunnel so then the patchy girl comes through and rather cautiously walks through the tunnel ignoring the catnip and snake before setting off the disco ball and sprinting into my yard [Music] then the chubby guy comes back again and must have remembered about the alarm going off as he walks to the end of the tunnel and plops himself down just in front of the sensor of the disco alarm sitting there and just watching before the camera stops working again and then lastly this white girl enters the tunnel ignoring the catnip and dog piss before eating the fish while completely ignoring the snake and then the camera fails once again so even with all the obstacles placed together which did kind of scare the cats they just keep coming back if not through this gate through another and if i board that up they just come in another way i would literally have to put a dome over my whole yard to keep them out which means i'm gonna have to do the thing i've been regretting the most and have some kind of social interaction with my neighbors that own the cats and awkwardly ask them if they can keep their cats locked up and to stop killing my animals how are you going hey hey yay good it's good um how's how's he going huh yeah he's he's going good what can i do for you i just just want to check how you how are you going um yeah i'm going good how are you going cool hi actually it's good you came by um actually you dropped the thumb off your mouth oh thank you thank you yeah thank you oh i've actually the time here i've got your mail as well there you are this is just a receipt with a um with an ant on it yeah and after looking at the footage again i've realized a lot of the cats don't seem to have collars so i think my only option is to use this trap that i purchased to catch and relocate them so i put this out with some tuna inside it and came back to check it the next morning okay something has happened here this is terrifying whatever i caught broke out of the cage like what kind of roided up cats do i have in my yard that are capable of bending metal and after watching the footage you can see that this white girl seems pretty hesitant to enter the cage and rightly so after what i've been doing in my yard for the past week but then she enters the trap and starts eating the tuna and the camera doesn't capture the moment the trap closes only the moments after and this very very angry cat and i'm actually very impressed by these cats not only can they dodge laser sensors like catwoman but they can also read the chinese instruction manual for this cage allowing them to break out from the inside and i'm almost relieved that it escaped like what would it have done to me if it broke out of the cage while i was picking it up in the morning and i realized i'm a bit dumb what i should have done instead of using just tuna is i should have put catnip in the cage that way it would have been super chilled out and just accepted its circumstances like you know there's like no point spending your whole life breaking out cages again and again my my house is a cage my car's a of the cage bro it's all the same just better chill out yeah hopefully that happens so i'm going to reinforce the cage with some of these l brackets that should hopefully stop the cage from bending upwards and releasing the gate and then use catnip with fish as bait so i left it out overnight in a different location and in the morning the cage was broken once again literally again oh is this the other side now come on i need to buy a new cage so it's actually bent it but this time the other side and unfortunately this cheap game cam didn't work and capture anything and i could reinforce this side and try again but i've decided to throw in the towel as firstly i'm wasting all my family's tuna and it also looks pretty traumatic for the cats and i can imagine that they probably injured themselves trying to escape the metal cage and also i can't imagine this being effective in the long term either as i would have to capture all the cats in my yard and even if i did manage to do that more would just come along and fill their place so i'm just hopeful that these experiments were stressful enough that they are going to stay clear for at least a while and it's probably just a coincidence but for the first time in a year a magpie has returned to my yard and judging by how friendly and unscared it is i'm pretty sure it's one of the babies that i trained before in an earlier video and now it's back with a brand new shiny coat i also had a beautiful kookaburra and carawang take a dip in my pool but since the cats are still around this probably isn't a good thing as they do look very delicious and i kind of have no idea what i'm meant to do now if you have any suggestions i would love that like how am i actually meant to stop these cats like the australian government has proposed a plan to drop millions of poisoned sausages into the bush to kill the cats but cats aren't the only ones that enjoy a good sausage sizzle and that might just result in the extinction of every man over 40. or maybe i could follow the government's classic cane-toad cane beetle solution actually yeah that could work so make sure to tune in next week when i introduce wolves to my yard to deal with my cat problem but for now you win cats use sexy sexy cats thank you so much for watching if you liked that please subscribe and check out some of my other videos that i mentioned

Channel: I did a thing

Views: 5,891,446

Rating: 4.9022193 out of 5

Keywords: i did a thing, cats, science, education, mark rober, obstacle course

Id: Z5EiqzfiCS8

Length: 20min 4sec (1204 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 18 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/Wallace_B]

This is a pretty silly video in some ways, but this fella makes a lot of good points about the serious situation facing our native animals, and how crazy parasite brained cat lovers just do not care how much damage their little luvvies do to our wildlife. Its a madnouse out there!