♪ TIMMY IS AN AVERAGE KID ♪ THAT NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ♪ MOM AND DAD AND VICKY ♪ ALWAYS GIVING HIM COMMANDS >> BED, TWERP! ♪ THE DOOM AND GLOOM ♪ UP IN HIS ROOM ♪ IS BROKEN INSTANTLY ♪ BY HIS MAGIC LITTLE FISH ♪ WHO'LL GRANT HIS EVERY WISH ♪ 'CAUSE IN REALITY ♪ THEY ARE HIS ODDPARENTS ♪ FAIRLY ODDPARENTS >> WANDS AND WINGS. >> FLOATY, CROWNY THINGS. ♪ ODDPARENTS ♪ FAIRLY ODDPARENTS ♪ REALLY MOD, BEAN POD ♪ BUFF BOD, HOT ROD >> OBTUSE, RUBBER GOOSE, GREEN MOOSE, GUAVA JUICE, GIANT SNAKE, BIRTHDAY CAKE, LARGE FRIES, CHOCOLATE SHAKE! ♪ ODDPARENTS ♪ FAIRLY ODDPARENTS ♪ THEY LET YOU LIVE ♪ WHEN YOU WERE A KID ♪ WITH FAIRLY ODDPARENTS ♪♪ >> YEAH, RIGHT! CLOSED CAPTIONING PROVIDED BY CORUS ENTERTAINMENT >>> (screaming) >>><i> (screaming)</i> >><i> OH NO, LOOK!</i> <i> IT'S THE HAUNTED VOLCANO</i> <i> IN 3-D!</i> >><i> DID YOU SAY 3-D?</i> >> 3-Ds? JUST LIKE TIMMY'S REPORT CARD. >>> (screaming) >> YAWN. THIS OLD MOVIE IS LAME. >> I KNOW. I WAS SCREAMING 'CAUSE I JUST REALIZED WHEN I GOT MARRIED I SAID "'TIL DEATH DO US PART," AND SINCE I'M IMMORTAL THAT'S FOREVER -- AIEE! >><i> IT CAME FROM THE HAUNTED</i> <i> VOLCANO</i> ISN'T LAME, IT'S THE GREATEST 3-D MOVIE ABOUT A HAUNTED VOLCANO EVER MADE. >> YAWN. >> HERE, PUT ON THESE 3-D GLASSES. >><i> DRAT!</i> <i> MY LASER'S NOT WORKING!</i> >><i> HERE, TRY MY PADDLE BALL.</i> >> man:<i> LOOK, THE HAUNTED</i> <i> VOLCANO IS GOING TO BLOW.</i> >> GREAT, NOW IT'S LAME IN 3-D, BUT THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF HAVING FAIRY GODPARENTS. COSMO, I WISH THAT LAVA REALLY WAS 3-D. COOL! I MEAN, HOT! >> THE LAVA'S ABOUT TO HIT VICKY'S HOUSE. WE'D BETTER STOP IT. TIMMY? HELLO? UH, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO UNWISH THIS, ARE YOU? >> Vicky's mom: SEE? WE CLEANED YOUR ROOM, CLEANED IT JUST LIKE YOU ASKED US TO. >> YOU'RE HAPPY NOW, RIGHT? 'CAUSE AS YOUR PARENTS WE LIKE IT WHEN YOU'RE HAPPY. >> AS A MATTER OF FACT-- NO I AM NOT! >> AWESOME, VICKY'S HOUSE IS GONE! NOW SHE'LL HAVE TO MOVE FAR FAR AWAY AND WE'LL NEVER SEE HER YOU ALL MOVE IN WITH US... >> (growling) >> ...UNTIL YOUR HOUSE IS COMPLETELY REPAIRED. >>> NO WAY! >> YAY! >>> WELL... >> WE COULDN'T POSSIBLY. VICKY AND HER NEW SNAKE FRIEND WOULDN'T LIKE THAT. >> OH, BUT YOU MUST. WE HAVE NO FRIENDS! IT'S JUST US AND THAT BOY. PLEASE, PLEASE STAY WITH US, PLEASE. >> WHAT HE MEANS IS WE'LL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO SPEND WITH YOU. >> WE'LL PLAY CHARADES, WE'LL MAKE FONDUE-- OR SHOULD I SAY FUN-DO? PLEASE!! (sobbing) >> OVER HIS DEAD BODY. >> WHAT? >> AND OF COURSE WE'LL PAY VICKY TO BABY-SIT 24 HOURS A DAY. >> WHERE DO I SLEEP? >> TIMMY'S ROOM OF COURSE. TIMMY, YOU CAN SLEEP ON THE COUCH. >> ACTUALLY, DOIDLE LIKES TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH. >> THEN WHERE DO I SLEEP? (thunder cracking) >> (whimpering) >> Vicky: OH, TWERP? TIME FOR BREAKFAST. >> OOP! >> (cackling) >> OR SHOULD WE CALL THEM FUN-CAKES? >>> (laughing) >> (panting) MM, I'M STARVED. HEY! HEY! HEY, STOP THAT! THAT'S MINE! >> HEY, TIMMY, WE'RE A CONJOINED FAMILY NOW. WE HAVE TO SHARE. THERE'S NO MINE, ONLY OURS. EXCEPT THAT, THAT'S MINE. >> YOU KNOW, TECHNICALLY WE'RE NOW LIVING TOGETHER. >> (screaming) GAAH! >> (cackling) THAT'S ALWAYS FUNNY. >> FINALLY, I'M SAFE IN MY OWN ROOM, MY FORTRESS OF MANLY-TUDE. AAH! COSMO, WANDA, HELP! I DON'T KNOW WHICH SIDE IS SCARIER. >> HEY, ISN'T THIS ROOM FANTABULOUS? >> NO, IT'S NOT FABULOUS. >><i> FANTABULOUS.</i> >> I WANT MY ROOM BACK. I WANT MY LIFE BACK. I WANT VICKY AND HER FAMILY OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW! >> TIMMY, MAYBE YOU'RE LOOKING AT THIS WRONG. >> YEAH, TRY LOOKING AT THEM WITH THESE. AAH! TOO REAL! >> NO, I WANT THOSE GUYS OUT OF HERE. I WISH VICKY'S HOUSE WAS 100% REPAIRED. >> OH, IT'S BIG FAMILY FUN TO MAKE A COLLAGE, OR SHOULD I SAY COOL-AGE! HA HA HA! I LOVE HAVING ADULT FRIENDS! >> AND HOW SMART OF VICKY TO FIND A USE FOR ALL THOSE OLD VINTAGE COMIC BOOKS CROWDING TIMMY'S CLOSET. >> MAYBE YOU SHOULD TIP ME. >> GOOD NEWS: I JUST HAPPENED TO NOTICE VICKY'S HOUSE IS FIXED, LIKE MAGIC! THEY CAN GO HOME NOW, LIKE MAGIC! >> BUT WE'RE HAVING SO MUCH FUN. >> AND IT'S SO NICE TO HAVE EYE-WITNESSES TO VICKY'S CRUELNESS. I MEAN KINDNESS, KINDNESS! >> PLEASE DON'T MAKE US GO BACK! >> DON'T WORRY, NEW FRIENDS, I'LL HANDLE THIS. (crashing and banging) (panting) DOES THIS HOUSE LOOK REPAIRED TO YOU? HA, I LOVE MY NEW FRIENDS WHO AREN'T LEAVING! >>> YAY! >> AAH! >> I FEEL ANOTHER TIP COMING ON. >> THERE YOU GO. >> WHO'S UP FOR CANASTA? OR, SHOULD I SAY, FUN-ASTA? >> YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU REALLY SHOULD LET ME HANDLE THE SNAPPY WORD PLAY. I MEAN, HAPPY WORD PLAY. >> GUYS, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? OBVIOUSLY JUST FIXING VICKY'S HOUSE ISN'T GOING TO GET RID OF HER AND HER FAMILY. >> WELL, IF I WERE YOU I'D WISH FOR A BIGGER DOG HOUSE. >> OR GIVE VICKY'S PARENTS A REASON TO WANT TO LEAVE. >> FAT CHANCE. THEY LOVE IT HERE. JUST LOOK AT THEM. IT'S SICK-- GAAH! >>> IT'S SO REAL! AIEE! LOOK OUT! >> Timmy's dad: I'M SO SCARED! HOLD ME, NEW FRIENDS! >><i> SAVE MY KITTY.</i> >> HEY, ALL THIS 3-D HORROR IS MAKING ME HUNGRY. >> ME TOO. WHO WANTS SOME SNACKS? >>> DO WE? DO WE? >> YES. >>> WE DO, WE DO! >> THEY'RE SCARED BY THAT DUMB MOVIE? >> OH, IT'S THE 3-D GLASSES. THEY MAKE IT LOOK SO SCARY. >> WANDA, THAT'S IT! WE'RE GOING TO SCARE THEM OUT. I WISH THOSE 3-D GLASSES MADE EVERYTHING THEY SEE AND HEAR SUPER SCARY. OH, AND THEY CAN'T TAKE THEM OFF UNTIL THEY LEAVE MY HOUSE FOR GOOD. >> COME AND GET IT! WHO WANTS SPAGHETTI AND EYEBALLS? BWA, HA HA HA! (cackling) >>> (screaming) >> EYEBALLS? BIG DEAL. THAT'S NOT SCARY. >>> AAH! >> WHAT DID YOU SAY TO OUR NEW FRIENDS? >> I SAID SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS. >> DO YOU WANT TO BE STUCK HERE ALONE WITH THE BOY AGAIN? LET ME HANDLE THIS. WHO WANTS A SLICE OF FRENCH ARM? BWA, HA HA HA! >>> (cackling) >>> AIEE! >> A SEVERED ARM? ONLY ONE? BEEN THERE. >> YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT ANY? MMM... THEY'RE JUICY AND DELICIOUS. >>> (gagging) >> OR MAYBE A MEATBALL SANDWICH. >>> (screaming) (screaming) >> MMM... >> THAT'S IT, WE'RE OUT OF HERE. >> PLEASE, DON'T GO, NEW FRIENDS! >> NOBODY'S GOING ANYWHERE. HAUNTED HOUSE, SCM-AUNTED HOUSE. AS LONG AS I AM MAKING MONEY HERE, WE STAY! >>> COME BACK! >> GRR! >> THIS ISN'T WORKING. THEY'RE MORE SCARED OF VICKY THAN THEY ARE OF MY CANNIBAL PARENTS. >> CAN YOU BLAME THEM? >> YOU HAVE TO MAKE HER LEAVE, TOO, OR THEY'LL NEVER GO. >> THAT'S IT. WE HAVE TO SHOW HER THE THINGS THAT SHE FEARS MOST. OH, DAD? CAN I SEE YOUR WALLET? >> OH, SURE SON. HONEY, CAN I HAVE MY WALLET? >> (sniffing) HUH? MY MONEY! >> OOH, MY WALLET'S EMPTY. >> (screaming) >> AND WE'RE DONATING YOUR MONEY TO CHARITY. >> AIEE! WELL, AT LEAST I'VE STILL GOT THE MONEY YOU ALREADY GAVE ME. AIEE! WE ARE SO OUT OF HERE! >> WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT? >> I HAVE NO IDEA. NORMALLY PEOPLE TASTE MY FOOD BEFORE THEY RUN OUT LIKE THAT. >> YEAH, AND USUALLY THEY RUN RIGHT TO THE CAN. OUR NEW FRIENDS LEFT AND ALL WE HAVE TO REMEMBER THEM BY ARE THESE GLASSES. >> MOM, DAD, NO! >> OH, DINKLEBERG! >> IS SOMETHING WRONG, DEAR? >> AIEE! >> AIEE! >>> AIEE! WAIT FOR US, NEW FRIENDS! >> I CAN'T BELIEVE THESE THINGS WORKED. FINALLY, I HAVE MY HOUSE BACK. >> I CAME BACK FOR YOU. >> WHOA, THESE ARE GOOD. AIEE! GAAH! DARN IT. IT'S TOO SCARY! >> AND WAIT 'TIL YOU SEE WHAT I'VE DONE WITH YOUR ROOM. OR, SHOULD I SAY<i> OUR</i> ROOM. AND IT'S 'TIL DEATH DO US PART. >> AIEE! (school bell ringing) >> PHEW, FINALLY, THE PERFECT SEASCAPE BACKDROP FOR THE SCHOOL PLAY. >> YOU KNOW, TIMMY, PAINTING THIS FOR MR. BICKLES WAS REALLY NICE OF YOU. >> BUT LOOK WHAT IT DID TO MY HAIR. >> AAH! MY DREAM, IT'S, IT'S, IT'S... >> FABULOUS, SCRUMPTIOUS, DELECTABLE? >> RUINED! THOSE CLOUDS ARE TOO PUFFY AND THE WATER ISN'T VIOLET BLUE, IT'S PRACTICALLY TEAL. MY DREAM OF DOING THE BALLET VERSION OF<i> WATERWORLD</i> IS RUINED. KEVIN, FORGIVE ME! >> HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AJ. >> THIS COMPUTER, IT'S... >> AMAZING, ASTOUNDING, STATE OF THE ART? >> OBSOLETE AS OF FOUR SECONDS AGO. THANKS FOR THE HIGH TECH DOORSTOP... THAT DOESN'T WORK. >> TA-DA! MY FRIENDS AND TEACHER MIGHT BE UNAPPRECIATIVE, BUT WAIT UNTIL MY PARENTS SEE THE LAWN. >>> TIMMY! THE LAWN! IT'S... IT'S... >> PERFECT, BEAUTIFUL, AMAZING? >> RUINED! AND ON THE SAME DAY AS THE DIMMSDALE WORST LAWN COMPETITION. KEVIN, FORGIVE ME! >> BAA. >> YOU'RE RIGHT, CHOMPY. EVEN I WOULDN'T EAT THIS LAWN. FIRST PRIZE! >><i> DINKLEBERG.</i> (slamming door) >> AND MY BUTT IS NOT THAT BIG. (door slamming) >> GRR! FOR ONCE IN MY TEN YEAR OLD LIFE I DECIDE TO DO SOME GOOD DEEDS AND NOBODY EVEN APPRECIATES THEM. >> Wanda: WE APPRECIATE YOU, TIMMY. >> YEAH, IF YOU WERE TO DO SOMETHING NICE FOR US LIKE CLEAN OUT OUR FISH BOWL, I'D TOTALLY NOTICE. >> I DID THAT YESTERDAY. >> HUH, YOU CALL THIS CLEAN? >> THAT'S IT! YOU GUYS DON'T APPRECIATE ME EITHER. FINE, LET'S SEE HOW EVERYONE WOULD LIKE IT IF I WEREN'T AROUND TO NOT APPRECIATE. >> YOU MISSED A SPOT HERE, AND HERE... >> FINE. YOU KNOW WHAT? I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN. >> AND YOU MISSED A SPOT HERE, AND HERE... >> ALL RIGHT! TIME TO SEE HOW MISERABLE EVERYBODY IS IN A WORLD WITHOUT TIMMY TURNER. >>> parents: WOO HOO! HA HA HA! >> A MANSION? WHERE'S MY HOUSE? >> OH, CHECK IT OUT, HONEY. IT SAYS HERE THAT OUR BEAUTIFUL, TALENTED, NOT-BOY DAUGHTER SOPHIA IS GOING TO GET NOMINATED FOR ANOTHER ACADEMY AWARD. >> OH, REALLY? WHAT FOR THIS TIME, ACTING, WRITING OR DIRECTING? >> ALL THREE! >> WOW, MY PARENTS ARE DOING GREAT WITHOUT ME. >> man: TIMMY TURNER. >> AIEE, THE GRIM REAPER! (thunder cracking) >> HA, NO, IT IS I, JORGEN VON STRANGLE, AND FLATTERY WILL NOT HELP YOU. I'VE COME TO SHOW YOU HOW HORRIBLE THE WORLD IS WITHOUT YOU. >> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? MY PARENTS' LIVES ARE GREAT. >>> (cheering) >> I KNOW, I WAS BEING SARCASTIC. HA HA HA! WHY DON'T PEOPLE GET MY HILARIOUS SENSE OF HUMOUR? BUT I DIGRESS. IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO GO TO THE DIMENSION OF KIDS WHO IMPROVED THE WORLD BY WISING THEY WERE NEVER BORN. >> AIEE! WAIT, SOMEBODY'S LIFE HAS TO BE WORSE WITHOUT ME AROUND. FOR INSTANCE, CROCKER? VICKY? >> LET ME SAVE YOU SOME TIME: NO, EVERYONE'S LIFE IS BETTER. NOW, CAN WE PLEASE GO TO THAT PLACE WITH THE LONG NAME THAT I JUST TOLD YOU ABOUT? >> NO WAY. >> YES WAY. NOW, LET'S GO. >> WAIT, HOW ABOUT THIS: IF I CAN FIND ONE PERSON WHOSE LIFE IS WORSE BECAUSE I'M GONE, YOU GIVE ME MY LIFE BACK. IF I CAN'T, I'LL GO WITH YOU WITHOUT A FIGHT. >> WELL... IT WOULD GIVE ME A CHANCE TO HUMILIATE YOU ONE MORE TIME. PUNY TURNER, YOU ARE ON! >> WEIRD, EVERYTHING LOOKS NORMAL. >> UH-OH, SOMEONE IS COMING. I MUST BLEND IN. >>> OOF... >> FRANCIS, DON'T KILL ME! >> WHY WOULD I KILL YOU? IT'S MY FAULT. I WASN'T WATCHING WHERE I WAS GOING, AND I'D HATE TO INJURE A FAN. >> FRANCIS IS NICE, AND NOT GREY. >> CORRECT. WITHOUT YOU HE HAD TO FIND A DIFFERENT OUTLET FOR HIS BULLYING. HE IS NOW THE STAR OF THE FOOTBALL TEAM, WHICH IS LIKE BULLYING BUT WITH THE POSSIBILITY OF A SCHOLARSHIP. PLUS, ALL THAT HAS GIVEN HIM A TAN. >> YEAH, WELL I BET WITHOUT ME AROUND CROCKER'S LOSING IT. PROVING I HAD FAIRIES WAS HIS WHOLE REASON FOR EXISTENCE. >> NOT EXACTLY. >> AND THAT, CLASS, IS WHAT THE SCHOLARS CALL EXISTENTIALISM. >>> (cheering) >> WITHOUT YOU MUCKING UP HIS CHILDHOOD, CROCKER BECAME HARVARD'S MOST VALUABLE PROFESSOR, AND WITHOUT YOU DRAGGING AJ DOWN HE WAS ABLE TO GRADUATE HIGH SCHOOL AT THE AGE OF FIVE. >> WITH A FULL HEAD OF HAIR? AW, COME ON, HOW IS THAT MY FAULT? STUFF LIKE THAT IS USUALLY COSMO'S FAULT. COSMO, THAT'S IT. HIS LIFE IS WORSE WITHOUT ME. IT HAS TO BE! >> MMM... NOT EXACTLY. >> CHESTER'S HOUSE? WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE? >> TAKE A BETTER LOOK. >> IT'S A TRIPLE WIDE? THAT'S TWO WIDES WIDER THAN USUAL, AND IT'S ON SOLID GOLD BLOCKS. BUT HOW? COSMO, WANDA! >> COSMO, WANDA, COME ON. WE'RE LATE FOR OUR SHIFT AT THE SENIORS' CENTRE. WE'RE GOING TO WISH UP PRE-CHEWED STEAKS FOR THE TOOTHLESS. >> WHAT A GREAT KID, SO SELFLESS AND WISHING FOR OTHERS. >> YEAH, AND LOOK AT THOSE PERFECT, BRACELESS, NOT GOOFY TEETH. >> OH, AND NO STUPID PINK HAT TO RUIN HIS HAIR. >>> AW... >> WHAT NEXT? I SUPPOSE VICKY IS A NICE BABY-SITTER NOW? >>> NOT EXACTLY. >> I KNOW, I KNOW. SHE WORKS FOR DR. BENDER? A-HA, SO SHE'S STILL CAUSING PAIN. >> NOT EXACTL-- SORRY. VICKY IS HIS ASSISTANT IN CHARGE OF LAUGHING GAS. SHE PREVENTS THE PAIN. >> (giggling) >> OKAY, THAT'S IT. I GIVE UP. >> WAIT, WAIT! DON'T YOU WANT TO SEE ELMER WITHOUT HIS BOIL? MR. BICKLES' MUSICAL PRODUCTION OF<i> WATERWORLD?</i> OR HOW ABOUT THE WORLD SERIES CHAMPION CHICAGO CUBS? >> NO, GAME OVER. YOU WIN. >> HA! NOW IT IS TIME TO SAY GOOD BYE TO THE LIFE YOU USED TO HAVE BEFORE I SEND YOU TO THE DIMENSION OF KIDS WHO IMPROVED THE WORLD BY WISHING THEY WERE NEVER BORN. MAN, THAT'S A MOUTHFUL. GOOD BYE, TIMMY TURNER. >> AIEE! >> FOREVER! HA HA! >> HA... LAUGHING GAS... STOP, HA HA!! I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING! HA HA! (gas fizzing) >> AIEE! >> YOU ARE GOING TO GO WITHOUT A FIGHT, HA HA-- OOP! AAH! >> NOT EXACTLY. NOW, WHILE LAUGHING BOY IS BUSY THIS IS MY CHANCE TO CHANGE EVERYTHING BACK. MIDDLE CLASS PARENTS, BALD AJ, BULLY FRANCIS, POOR CHESTER, REBOILED ELMER. BUT ALL I'LL BE DOING IS MAKING EVERYBODY'S LIFE WORSE. I CAN'T DO THAT TO COSMO AND WANDA, MOM AND DAD. I CAN DO IT TO ELMER, BUT I DON'T REALLY KNOW HIM THAT WELL. HERE YOU GO, JORGEN. >> TIMMY TURNER... YOU PASSED THE TEST! >> TEST? WHAT TEST? AND WHY AREN'T YOU STILL LAUGHING? >> SILLY HUMAN. LAUGHING GAS CANNOT MAKE ME LAUGH. ONLY PAIN DOES THAT. WATCH. >> AIEE! >> (Jorgen laughing) OH, MAN, THAT'S GOOD. NOW, WHERE WAS I? OH, YOU MADE YOUR STUPID WISH BECAUSE YOU FELT UNAPPRECIATED, RIGHT? >> YEAH, 'CAUSE NO ONE NOTICED ALL MY GOOD DEEDS. >> YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO GOOD DEEDS BECAUSE THEY WILL GET YOU NOTICED, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DO THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE THE RIGHT THING TO DO AND BY NOT WISHING YOURSELF BACK INTO EXISTENCE AND RUINING EVERYONE'S LIVES YOU DID THE GOODEST-EST DEED OF ALL, AND THUS I WILL GRANT YOU ONE WISH. >> EXCELLENT. I WISH I HAD NEVER WISHED THAT I HAD NEVER BEEN BORN. >> THAT WAS ANOTHER TEST, AND YOU FAILED. >> AIEE! >> I'M ONLY KIDDING. GOOD HEAVENS, WHAT'S A FAIRY GOT TO DO TO GET A LAUGH AROUND HERE? >>> (sobbing) >> GRR! >>> MONEY BATH! AW... >> AND A SPOT HERE, AND ANOTHER SPOT HERE... >> GUYS, I'M BACK! >> YOU LEFT? >> YEAH, DON'T YOU REMEMBER? I WAS FEELING UNAPPRECIATED SO I WISHED I DIDN'T EXIST. >> NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT, NO. BUT I DO APPRECIATE YOU PULLING MY HEAD OUT OF THE BOWL. >> YOU DO? >> YEAH, IT'S REALLY DIRTY. CAN YOU CLEAN IT FOR US SOMETIME? >> WHY, I OUGHT TO-- >>> AIEE! >> DO THAT RIGHT NOW. >> OH, TIMMY DOING A GOOD DEED? WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO HIM? DO YOU FEEL TIMMY LEARNED A HUGE LIFE LESSON WITHOUT US? >> MAYBE IT WOULD BE BETTER IF WE DIDN'T EXIST. >> DON'T GET MY HOPES UP. >> AAH, A TALKING CACTUS! CLOSED CAPTIONING PROVIDED BY CORUS ENTERTAINMENT
