The Cruel Commercials of Capri Sun

hi everybody I'm here at a Rainforest Cafe and let me just say I can't wait to not order food it's it's not very good I'm I'm really just here for the environment to stick my head into Tracy tree and maybe consider the possibility of getting Safari fries and making other references like that really though I'm just waiting for the thunderstorm to start so I can leave but until then juice boxes they're funny thing that have been around for quite a while and there's no doubt about that but when I think of the top brands I think of Kool-Aid and then I especially think of about Capri Suns these are the most popular juice boxes in the world you can't really go wrong with them they're pretty good at what they do and you can complain about them but you probably shouldn't because what if I told you that in commercial land these little liquid boxes are some of the most dangerous things that could possibly exist and the fact they weren't outlawed within a week let alone decades is absolutely insane if you spend more than 5 minutes looking into them Capri Suns and honestly all juice boxes have the Firepower to end billions of lives Within These ads and it's a astounding that nothing is done about it but first off we need some context namely that Capri sons have been around for a little over 50 years but they wouldn't gate commercials until about the 80s and more prominently in the '90s the name is based off of the Italian Island Capri for being a pretty popular vacation destination the Juicebox people also wanted the brand to be connected by playing outside and having a great time which is why a lot of early commercials revolve around Sports they also show this in the commercials by liquefying the local children early on I guess the Juicebox children got Matrix or something because how they mess with reality and can summon Capri Sons at will it's really about as weird as it is kind of nifty overall not too much bad I can say about this era other than these kids are pretty cool but then something happened something happened and absolutely decimated the Capri Sun's scale the local children of the world quickly fell into the mercy of the pouch to respect the pouch is to gain its trust to become a matrix man to become a cool skateboarding kid to turn into Mercury at will but it's when you disrespect the pouch that's when the horror starts that is when the lives of our youth are shriveled into disgusting amalgamations for a little to no justification the respect the pouch Campaign lies in infamy in my eyes and the concept is simple enough at least one kid will be chugging down some capricon while doing some sort of mundane activity then they'll get the idea to do something with the juice box involving whatever the activity the kid happens to be doing like hitting it with a bat or digging it into some sand and then the hell spawn of the funny juice is truly Unleashed if anyone deliberately chooses to go out of their way to disrespect the pouch in any capacity it utilizes its sentience to determine an appropriate punishment that's ironically connected to whatever torture method was conducted on the juice box if you stab the straw in the wrong spot your blood starts leaking from you if you Pogo on it you turn into one of those playground thingies I forgot the name of and if you run over it with an RC C then have fun not having bones idiot interestingly enough though the Capri Sun can actually punish exclusively the individuals who cause the disrespect one K in the commercial tries treating it like a whoopy cushion to epically prank their friend yeah yeah that'll teach them make them sit on a used juice box that's so that's so funny dude that's such a good prank but then the Capri Sun calls the kid cringe and turns him into this and I don't I don't like that they look they look like ground beef fun fact about Capri Suns too about s billion of them gets sold a year and how the faty cheeny Alfredo freak are these even legal like even after a couple of confirmed cases of them being connected to stuff like big head mode inverted limbs anamorphosis becoming a background character and Flapjack what do you do in general I don't really think that becoming an X-Men is a Bad Thing per se I just feel like this is morally wrong to have this be a thing that your product can do to have no recalls or lawsuits to have the world quite literally accept this man-made horror beyond my comprehension is a bit much however to make up for this if you for any reason become any of the disrespected peeps who follow a victim to this hellish device you get to live in a content creator house with all the other mutated kids according to this short-lived Animated Series yeah so the disrespect to stuff are what happened when you try to profit off of the horrible tragedies you caused alongside the disrespecting campaign there was an attempt to profit off these characters with stuff like games and especially this show now all of these episodes feature at least one of the 10 and a half characters dealing with some sort of silly situation from their silly situation we see the legs of one of the kids' dads so I'd assume the parents were all okay with it they probably just said stuff like well Little Billy you should have respected the pouch what can we say you're this is your life now I don't really care they they all live with each other anyway this is a stupid show I I don't really like it there's one character handlebar Harry that I specifically want to look at because the episode about him sees him witnessing all the other kids so he then wants his own superpowers which means he voluntarily chooses to modify himself and this is the point where I simply just gave up trying to make any logical sense of how any of the world works I said sat down I talked to my therapist that I don't have and I said this is enough for me throughout the 2000s this juice box was capable of amalgamating children but also nobody does anything about it but also people voluntarily disrespected to transform themselves and the company decided to profit off of this profit off the stuff they caus when will it end when will this horrible horrible awfulness end the 2010s of course oh a few of the commercials have the context of parents not buying their Capri Suns for their kids I wonder why on fortunately the Capri on fluids must have had like chemicals or taken over the kiddos and some sort of parasite because now they've become Master negotiators by putting themselves in bad situations basically holding themselves for juice boox Ransom this isn't anything new in the juice boox world the Kool-Aid man has been polluting Waters and bending all the Kool-Aid at will to control the children of the world we shouldn't be shocked these things are capable of destroying everything you know and love following that I would say Capri Suns have also lost their ability to alter DNA but instead basically gained reality warping powers in this era even holding a Capri Sun Will attract the goofiest wackiest downright unfathomable events comprehensible on several occasions we see aliens show up one time they're looking for their cat and another time they crown this one kid the king of Earth in a different commercial a cyborg Bear shows up they deem it the side bear and then it starts like eating kids or whatever until this Brave Soldier enters the front line and one shots it with a single stab with the plastic straw now I have several questions about that there's a few possible implications behind this specific commercial one this kid is strong enough or has enough Precision to pierce through the metal of the side bear based on the negotiation skills of the children in the verse I wouldn't be shocked two the straw is strong enough to pierce through Metals this is a problem because then these straws are basically sharper than knives and even then that wouldn't be the most dangerous thing a Capri Sun has in its skill set three the S Bear is weak as hell I have a problem seeing this because a bear is already pretty strong even if it's a robot that simply looks like a bear it was programmed to destroy this child and yet it failed to a plastic straw and regardless we should still be concerned about any and all of these possibilities even having a chance of existing along with how casual everyone is about it in fact looking at the official YouTube channel the higher ups responsible for the distribution of Capri Sun on a global scale take pride in how healthy it is for kids and how they're a perfectly safe drink and all that stuff but like are you sure about that there has been dozens of commercials that realistically would encourage the opposite like if you tell the children of the world in a 30-second commercial not to put forks and electrical outlets or else they'll turn into a random animal hate to break it to you more kids would put Forks in electrical outlets you are encouraging me stop encouraging kids to break your Capri Sun stop stop doing all of this Gunk that's this is clearly not a good thing and in the possibility that these occurrences actually happen I feel like the either the little hobgoblins would be horrified to go near a Capri Sun or go and perfectly try and concoct the best mutation possible I know I did I did both and I thought by getting a bird to grab or pack a capric sun i' would get like wings and so th this is stupid you are endangering your fan base this is also where I discovered in the YouTube channel that they have their own mascots namely this one named Jack Capri who's like this little kid extraordinaire there's been several attempts to make a mascot on the same level of other food mascots and they have failed several times already this is one of those failures we also got the big pouch man a master of infiltration he usually shows up and helps high schoolers out with their personal problems like a driver's test or talking to a girl at a party I would say other than the failed social media accounts I want to be friends with him like genuinely he's a very good motivational speaker and he is a supernatural power level in the skydiving one where a kid's justifiably horrified of jumping out a plane he somehow flies into the plane without a parachute I don't care what you say that is so raw and he's an icon tragically we don't see this guy anymore but the newest mask guy oh all the new mascot sure does exist Capri Suns in Universe have evolved from body horror non-fatal landmines to actual biological life capable of speech literacy and physical activity in addition the caprius sunis now have eyes and teeth out assume it has organs and bones and stuff but where and more so why does this need to exist they're disgusting to even think about I don't want to be around any of them I originally thought this could be maybe some sort of disrespect toy I thought that would make sense Maybe a kid smashed two capri suns together and became this but no living and moving Capri Suns have been around the world for years now governments worldwide are trying to capture them how have they not been recalled they can't be recalled they're their own life they are refusing to be recalled now there's non capric Sun drinks that are alive but can you drink them would they be happy being drank or would it be a slow and painful process somehow they have the access to both the real world and their own little one and there's several times more we can see what I would assume are women capric Sun so these have got to be a species of some sort we just need to ask what could all of this mean why has everything changed in this way and then not only that where do you include the collab capric Suns like the minions is it a big deal to have a minion tattoo to your body forever with no choice also what's with the ranges of sizes they can be there's been tiny ones the same size as a regular Capri Sun and then there's ones including the giant minion one one that's uh one that's attracting other minions and how is there a minion [Music] Caprice and that's all there is just as a recap Capri and their commercials have gone from cool ads about doing sports and playing outside to drinking them allowing people to become Lord's Fishburn and also liquefy to sentient judges of morality that horribly punish children who realistically don't know better to the main base of a Content house to a Deus s mocka machine that shoots whatever is convenient at that given moment to a collection of failed mascots of wacky characters to full undisputable life to godamn reproduction with minions minions are freaks we have seen these things and what they do in the movies but be entirely honest are you shocked in fact why areen you shocked about any of this in commercial land juice boxes are some of the most high-risk products on the market the Kool-Aid man has the power to kill trillions juice boxes just and lives but whatever you want to think just know I won't be drinking any Capri Suns if they have a face on them because if they look like this while I'm drinking on them I feel like I'd be drinking the blood of a small frail animal and at that point I'd rather it be a posum or a squirrel that was a lot but anyway these Safari fries are exceptionally average and that'll do it join me next time when I oh there's the thunderstorm yeah no I'm I'm clocking out so bye bye everybody

Channel: choopo

Views: 246,498

Keywords: Big pouch man, Capri sun, Capri sun commercial, Chadtronic cursed commercials, Choopo, Choppo, Cruel commercials, Cursed commercials, Disrespectoids, Juice box, Kool aid man, Respect the pouch, Stop reading the dang tags, The bizarre lore of capri sun, The cruel commercials of capri sun, capri sun, capri sun pouch, caprisun, choopoo, microsoft paint, microsoft paint animation, microsoft paint art, ms paint

Id: r8N9lc8AhuQ

Length: 12min 24sec (744 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 30 2023