The Bizarre Lore of Goldfish Crackers

the Goldfish cracker is the snack that smiles back weighing in at three calories and three centimeters tall they've become a food icon however in the past 20ish years there's actually been a major overarching story right under our noses so join me today as we uncover what this world has actually been hiding hi everybody I'm here in my kitchen my parents said I can't cook for my life so here I am with some oven mitts too many knives and a dream so Goldfish crackers have actually been a thing since about 1958 but today I want to specifically look at the most popular portion of the Goldfish cracker universe that being the decently long-running series Fin and friends the commercial animations that would end up making the story that simultaneously as ambitious as it is a little bit lazy and dumb and stupid in that order in 2001 in some suburban homes somewhere in the connected 48 United States of America there was a family who at minimum consists of members including an unnamed mom and daughter a boy named Janie a bloodhound a lizard a cat in an entire Society of fish crackers just flopping around from 2001 to 2004 there would be the Goldfish crackers still own age the Goldfish crackers at this time aren't dignified they're more goldfish than they are food crackers though that would change as time would continue traits of these older goldfish included lower intelligence size manipulation and being able to swim in the air regardless of size then in 2005 leading to the night Jaime that lovable scam from before sneaks into his kitchen and takes all the Goldfish crackers he can find of all different flavors but specifically a classic bag and a color bag Jamie goes back to his room and then begins to eat them all in the dark on his bed dropping a good amount of them under his bed and this moment alone would quickly erupt into an actual functioning Society in their golden age for some reason this family just loves their fish snacks like they have multiple bags of every flavor and justifiably so Goldfish crackers are famous for being the only snack that smiles back A muster a cannibal than it's one of two yet because of this the fish had a fight for their lives against this honestly intense yet most likely nuclear family somewhere around this situation in 2005 natural selection time this is Finn he's our protagonist our main guide the bread in our friendship sandwich he's a good dude without an attitude and he's incredibly nice to everyone 2005 also marked season one because the Goldfish crackers fan base and animators cared enough to make each respective Arc as a seasoned so there's eight arcs eight seasons one season per Arc it's simple enough to comprehend throughout 2005 Finn's warning all this fish Pals hey guys maybe we shouldn't be eating maybe we should have a Goldfish cracker Protection Program maybe we should have a buddy system maybe we don't walk into the flavor Blaster designed specifically to flavor blast Goldfish crackers that's also in this house for some reason at this point you can also tell which goldfish are more intelligent based on the development of their eyeballs and in this case all the ones without retinas and stuff are killed off leaving Finn's bag almost entirely empty this is when he has his first and only moment of character development in the entire Series where he realizes these aren't his people and dying and stuff isn't really his thing so he kind of just stops trying to save the bag which is good because there's like six fish alive so it's a little bit too late to keep trying 2006 season two the new world Arc everything we just talked about was the build up to the actual series if season one was the introduction this is more like the exposition and what to expect for the rest of the series Finn tells his brother Walter in his only ever appearance that he's gonna dip and find out what he truly wants in Life Walter goes alright sweetiekins stay safe and then he does that surviving a massive fall off the nightstand and immediately meets the next two friends of our group Brooke and Gilbert Rook is the girl fish you can tell because she has eyelashes and she's a smart strong independent fish imagine Finn or parmesan and Gilbert Gilbert sucks dude he's awful he's this little Dingus who's so lame all the time always complaining always getting into these wacky yet ungoofy predicaments like he unironically did like the MCU type dialogue where he says awkward in a major emotional confrontation he's ruining things he's awful he's not doing any justice to his flavor which tastes pretty good in queso I'd recommend that but that's besides the point there's only five established characters and within the first two seasons and Gilbert's my eighth favorite in the Friendship sandwich he's the cement after those two you got extreme who gets introduced right after them he's flavor blasted but actually survived the flavor blasting of 2005 and his name is just his personality there's not much to it but he just does stunts and Gunk so you know it's it's cool it is what it is from this point on all of season two is mainly just Toy Story But fish food the rules regarding physics are nonsensical Finn went from being able to effortlessly swim throughout the house to falling off the nightstand under his bed at the start of this Arc gravity exists here as much as it doesn't extreme mentions Newton's laws at one point even though everything here is telepathic they're way more durable than actual Goldfish crackers would be and they have human senses as seen with them using the radiator like a sauna and Gilbert complaining about a giraffe when a vacuum blows all the salt off of him making him naked and he complains to all of his naked friends right next to him speaking of which the vacuum is by far the coolest villain in the series I won't talk about him yet but we'll get back to him though that would chew flip your flops under the bed in the in Universe world it's like a Melting Pot of sorts all flavors are shown here to an extent each of the main four comes from a different part of the house which is also their Known World Finn's from the nightstand we've seen what that's like I'm about to sound like an English teacher trying to put meaning into meaningless things but Brooke comes from a snack bowl and because all the fish were so close in the bullet that's why she's so nice Gilbert comes from a plastic bag and that's why I use an uncharismatic shallow freak who acts like he's been in a bubble his whole life because he has been but Extreme he comes through the pantry and the pantry is like a dictatorship State and we find that out right after the season finale the end of the season sees the fish preparing for a town show Brooke's Talent is being smart been can seem Extreme's going to be extreme and Gilbert's gonna get rashes oh my God there's actual people who act like this in the final episode Gilbert makes a funny screen everybody jokes about it until a comic crashes into the room leaving a ton of flavor blasted debris okay and that brings us to 2008 season three the flavor blasted patriarch Pantry Arc the giant comic crash came from swimming tin Von stuffing Kim III he's the brother of extreme whose actual name is thumbelton and although both names are bad extreme it's just a tad batter apparently extreme lived into the pantry until he thought it was lame and cringe in dumb so he does something cool a little fish by Jimmy Neutron says good job and many escapes now immediately on swimmington's arrival he does two very important things he says hello Natives and I've got more knots than a pretzel trash and Gilbert within 10 seconds of meeting him and quickly becoming one of the best characters in the series he's overall kind of a dick early on though almost being like fish racist for no real reason other than these fish not being from the pantry I also wanted to save this until now but Gilbert's actually also like super awful arguably worse than swimmington at his worst moments like when he emphasizes how extremist flavor blasted when introducing him he's deathly afraid of square crackers compared to everyone else to be fair they treat them like ghosts equivalence in this universe he's insecure about his skin like trying to tan himself to look flavor blasted and then complains when Brooke goes into the radiator Sonic thing kind of freaking out when it becomes co-ed and then in the next commercial he kind of Sims for book whatever bad thing a person is Gilbert is at least like a quarter of that I get his name as a pun but the fact his name is Gilbert should be a red flag for anyone luckily throughout the season swimmington actually improves as a person becoming more embracing of the ways of the bed and actually approving of Extreme as a person-ish thing now but this finale has the craziest clip hanger yet while playing under the bed the friends throw frisbee far from everything remembering how extreme collected a ball earlier in the season with a cool stunt Gilbert decides to take a catapult out with the extreme to go retrieve it in the middle of the Expedition the vacuum comes back and for the only time in the series Gilbert has a hype moment pushing the extreme out of the way and saving him and then it just ignores extreme and that that person is bad at vacuuming 2009 filler episode this is about the fish shooting a scene for the commercial this is not canon it's not real it never happened 2010 see report vacuum Arc vacuum Arc vacuum Park vacuum Arc vacuum Arc vacuum Arc backyard this is the best one by far it's Peak fiction and to the actual like goldfish fan it's like you can't cut vacuum Mark it's actually called to search for Gilbert shut up don't run this for me this is I want to call it what I want to call it okay this is my thing okay let me have it below the little little dummy head yeah although all the fish now have eyeballs instead of just some of them although under the bed one from Mostly the oranger colored ones to mostly the pink and green ones and although the person using the vacuum is very bad at vacuuming and didn't even bother to check under the bed it's right out in the open and for years you've missed under the bed you're very stupid this is still by far the best portion of pin and friends I was hooked on vacuum Mark when I was younger for six months I watched in panic waiting for something to happen York New City get that out of here cell Saga I fell asleep halfway through saying that she had an exam more like stupid knitting exam in this season we follow the other four members taking Brook's paper airplane throughout the house to find Gilbert meeting new groups of fish like that guy under the couch cushion and nobody else meanwhile Gilbert tries to find a way out of the vacuum and meets IQ he's not important but he doesn't mind living as a vacuumarian Gilbert eventually sends an SOS message by saying gee but not Gilbert gang sees the message covers themselves in pain to avoid the family dog Gilbert uses the skills he learned from extreme stunts to make himself catapult out of the vacuum and eventually they make it back where the vacuum is vacuuming again and somehow the person using it doesn't see this giant crowd of fish and also Gilbert gets kissed by a girlfish we don't know the name of never have seen before this and will never see again although although this Arc had some flaws like anything does I think it was pretty fun we got to see the house the quality improved and Gilbert briefly got promoted from insufferable to tolerable at this point I might even like him more than Walter but moving along to 2011 to 2013 we got season five the talent show Arc this is coral she came from the girls room and she's basically just Sandy from SpongeBob out of fish I don't I don't I don't know and I know I said that Finn doesn't do that much after the first couple of Seasons but Coral actually doesn't do like ever she does not contribute she is she does not matter in the slightest fit in the entire bed decides that they're gonna have another attempt at making a talent show after the first one kind of kind of fell through after the comment thing from swimmington this is gonna be another Arc about Gilbert and swimmington decides to be the mean guy and say that Gilbert has no talent and that's it that's that that's the only Conflict for the next three years just swimmington justifiably thinking that the pretzel is talentless right before the talent show starts however the hamster from The Girls Room shows up in oh no oh no the hamster what are we gonna do fuzzy face the hamster is a hamster he's very important to the plot because he's not he gets taken care of after 30 seconds he's a bad antagonist and he sucks and this is the best conflict of the Season I'm serious at this point The Season's already halfway over I'm just gonna come out and say wow this bites my biceps this is awful how do you go from making the greatest season of all of entertainment to not really doing that this is just so lame it's like watching everyone except for Finn in swimming can do talents extreme does a stunt wow I'm shot Brook does a magic critway actually I am I'm actually a bit shocked about that one this one Brook Brooks Talent was okay I'll give her that Gilbert sings and he levitates a mic and you know what it drains me to say it but Gilbert wins and Talent wasn't even good I would say it's the worst one it's just him going rock and roll rock and roll I'm singing a song like please stop you're giving me a migraine just like how I'm giving you a migraine and the worst part swimmington doesn't even do anything he just congratulates Gilbert and I'm sorry I doubted Walter thinking that Gilbert might be better than him but we all make mistakes and we learn from them so hopefully the next Arc is going to be a bit better and at least that finale at night time it looked cool even though Jaime should have heard all of that noise while he was sleeping hey wait a minute how have none of the fish been seen by humans like ever they they do they they don't even try in the slightest to hide this world is stupid goldfish are stupid 2013 to 2014 I think I don't know the exact time points for anything but I know it's chronological but still these are all guesstimates season six The Great Outdoors this is the season that is mainly decided by viewers interacting with goldfishfun.com where you can watch and play additional content from your favorite Pepperidge Farm product they actually use this to choose the winner from the talent show but just like this entire season I don't think the viewer input actually mattered but that talk is in another five minutes the original four go outside swimmington sits this one out again and coral doesn't even show up the gang is way out of their element here almost immediately they die to water which unlike regular fish that's a No-No bad thing for Goldfish crackers they immediately get out and eat King Neptune the ruler of Scandinavia a kingdom that gets destroyed by the kid from Coral's room a mere 17.3 seconds after being introduced and then they go Turtle jousting then a new Castle is built and none of them see it in this sandbox even though like how did none of you see a new sand castle being built after that they all go on a safari then they go on a kitty cat where Gilbert does that and then they go back inside from the laundry monorail and give swimming Canyon Acorn Beret how absolutely bizarre in Bonkers in in who whoa whoa this entire season feels like it's listening to a relative recite their entire vacation activities Everything feels too nice and there's like not there's no issues anymore it gets worse after this 2015 to 2017 season 7 The camping Arc corals once again on the back burner but this time she actually appears so that's progress the Friendship Brigade traveled to the distant land of four feet away from the bed I really don't know what else like an ad that would be that truly interesting or exciting what I lied earlier this season isn't just the camping Arc but it's also more importantly a dream Arc this season has a three episode pattern that Loops five times the group will be doing some sort of camping activity they go to sleep and we see the dreams of one of the characters and then they resolve whatever issue they've been having in their dream these dreams truly give us a chance to learn about the characters and their deeper thoughts more than any any previous moments in the series and we can truly find out what these characters are like in their mind because of Jaime's story Finn's dream is about being an astronaut fighting an evil space Emperor and on a flying warthog that is defeated by the power of stickers do you remember when this was about goldfish trying not to be eaten on the second day the fish go fishing and as a result Brooke has a peaceful and wonderful dream about former president of the United States Abraham Lincoln becoming vice president in needing help from Brooke who is the actual president from a toddler Kaiju by flying a pegasus to steer her out of Washington DC this this the this entire this is vacuum art 2. this is the only good part of the series after this but what isn't that is what I have to talk about next this is probably the best time to introduce it as well but there is also several YouTube videos all about the Goldfish titled when I grow up and that raises a ton of questions especially since the Catalyst of all of their friendships was Finn moving out of the bag house so I kind of Imagine them being like in their goldfish 20s basically recounting the ages of every one of the goldfish children I perceive them being like goldfish college students basically the point is this is weird these videos essentially are just seeing the characters talk about the jobs they want Finn wants to play baseball Brook a veterinarian and Gilbert a firefighter a man can dream just like extreme he dreams about absolutely clapping former basketball professional Dwyane Wade in a 1v1 with a score of 60-0 this was surprisingly the easiest one to swallow Gilbert's dream is about a talking fuzzy face voiced by swimmington attempting to commit four acts of homicide through the use of safety scissors until Finn makes him cut that out and then they all laugh about this traumatic situation but of course they dignified swimmington as a dream about being The Monkey King and all of his friends ask him to not do that and they say please and he abandons his dream monkey wife if this doesn't make you want to eat Goldfish crackers I don't know what will and with that exciting finale we have finally reached the final finale the finale is finale if you're wondering how exciting this exciting Saga will have an exciting year close well you should probably sit down for this unfortunately unless you're already seated and stand up and sit back down okay I'm sorry I'll move on 2017 to 2021 the finalist Seasons note that it's plural the pretty wasted Wasteland Arc okay so technically I'm combining two seasons but there's a reason for it there's nothing the ending to a series that ran for nearly two decades is watching a slow fizzle into nothing if you remember goldfishfun.com the site that light viewers decide what would happen I think it was partially responsible for this decline in quality now entire episodes are dedicated to promoting mobile games and games found on the site I couldn't gain access to any of the mobile games but the online ones I found were pretty bland overall not that much to them they were they were kind of buggy they're not too unique but to be fair they didn't really have to be it's a series of commercials not a series of games though that doesn't excuse the one-faced extreme makes in the isometric Pac-Man game the latter portion of these Seasons follow the palace trying to make some movies with wacky Antics it is suing every time and it's it's fine you know it's it's not go really it's not bad it's just right in the middle they're hanging out they're very occasionally showing a twinkly twinkle of what it used to be what isn't there though is the rest of the fishy world I loved how early on everything felt like it was more alive but after the talent show Arc we kind of just stopped seeing all the background fish it wasn't that noticeable in The Great Outdoors and camping stuff because we were hardly there my guess is that in the middle of camping the kid actually vacuumed correctly because there's still a lot of stuff under there like a laptop but maybe that's just for storage the only interesting addition to the story or how anything works is everyone freaking out when Jamie puts a retainer in his mouth implying that somehow Finn forgot that he spent an entire year of his life attempting to avoid fish being eaten like he literally has a goldfish brain in that case if he forgot watching fishy genocide I guess I should mention that Walter is presumed dead too we see the nightstand but we never actually see the bag there so uh you know rip Roo Scooby-Doo may he rest his soul unfortunately that's where it ends without one Finn never really got the chance to be important once again after the first few seasons Brooke was always kind of there never fully getting a moment being debatably more of a foil than Finn was swimming pin and extreme actually kind of received closure with their relationship but otherwise they didn't really need that much or have anything else uh Coral but Gilbert even though I don't really like him actually had a visible change in character over time he genuinely became a better character and better in character don't get me wrong he still had those points near the end where he was kind of annoying but I think he was the only one who actually like had further development in the later Seasons kind of recognizing that his friends were there for him so the worst part of the earlier Seasons became the best part of the ending Seasons unfortunately that's it if you look at more recent commercials you'll see that there's like still commercials like the dolly dum dum that's business businessy business Brewing why would they stop making commercials but I don't know the superhero Robot Chicken stuff was okay if you asked me if I'd rather see Finn the talking fish or boben majorinovic marginal marginovic I probably got that wrong I would 99.6 of the time choose thing the talking fish between the two of them but from what it seems like I'm not too sure we should expect anything from the future I hope that someday we actually see where the story goes if it can go anywhere what else can be done where else can we see these tiny food pallets go to what was the deal with the guy under the couch cushion is he still alive I'm actually very interested about that if you want to see more videos about Finn and Friends there's actually a few pre-existing funny fish videos but I did actually avoid seeing them until saying this exact line in my script so I could come up with my own ideas and be able to make some of this stuff up because everything I say has a 1 in 10 chance of it intentionally being a lie and now honestly I would recommend you check them out no that was not a lie and neither was me saying that was a lie and neither was me well it's been 19 and a half ish minutes subscribe and join me next time when I become a Master Chef now I just gotta compare and contrast this delightful dish with my cookbook God damn it [Music]

Channel: choopo

Views: 502,060

Keywords: Bizarre lore, Choopo, Choopoo, Choppo, Goldfish crackers, Goldfish crackers lore, Goldfish crackers story, Goldfish crackers when i grow up, Lost media website, Papa’s lore, The bizarre lore of goldfish crackers, The bizarre lore of papa’s games, Why do you look at tags?, goldfish, goldfish crackers, goldfish crackers commercials, microsoft paint, microsoft paint animation, ms paint, ms paint animation, ms paint animations

Id: 7YkoZyEoO1k

Length: 20min 25sec (1225 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 08 2023