The Best of: Jeff Dunham, Achmed, & MORE!

actually i'm excited senor why are you excited jose proudly because you're holding his stick [Applause] do you have to do jokes like that it's just weird to me that in front of everyone you're holding jose's stick any suggestions you should at least take a nap to dinner first it's just a stick maybe it's actually a handle a handle yeah you could use jose as a weapon to hit with yes i want to go back in the box no this is awesome what happened to frank he got wet by a jalapeno on the stick yes think about it you'd be wielding a mexican lacquer on the stick yes look you know how batman had his sidekick robin and one of their weapons was a batarang yes of course oh dude what you just showed your geek and it smells like loser you are not a loser senor thank you jose suck up nothing reject hey he can drop you and then i'll throw down a couple of avocados and we got guacamole i could still burn your ass good point all right look wait the batman thing just made me think of something what if this comedy business doesn't work out for you yeah you can be a crime fighter a crime fighter yes you could lead dunham man with jose your trusty sidestick so you're saying i would be a superhero oh ish if is this like jewish no you're not jewish because then you wouldn't be jose jalapeno you'd be honey jalapeno on a bagel where would you hold him then in the hole [Applause] i am not touching that no you probably never have [Applause] okay this sucks so we're at crane fighting teen senor yes what kind of crime do we fight illegal aliens i think there's a conflict of interest look so you're finding illegals whack them on the head with jose and every time jose hits someone he yells yes pretty cool huh i guess so but uh do i get a costume what anything from those earlier photos [Applause] i'd go with the red shorts in your yeah then you'd be ugly ass cracker man okay look for this crime fighting thing how's jose gonna dress well he needs a disguise he's difficult to hide i'm not saying anything of course not you're still holding it okay this time slightly bigger arrow more drama look at that i'm a thespian not like ellen oh she's a lesbian and i said fesbian and the words are similar not in meaning unless you're a lesbian thesbian i like ellen yeah she's cute yeah you think i got a shot with her a shot you know like the dater oh come on she could land the other team for a little while you know like a visitor ahmed she's married to another woman who is this come on what does she have that i don't what i no longer have don't look you look to my huja area i kill you where you stand but if i kill you please don't drop me what happened to your hoo-ha you know what he said you no longer have hoo-ha no he didn't yes you did no i didn't i said what the hell's a hoo-ha it's like a laughing owl what happened to your huja oh after the explosion it ended up over there over there and up there i see so you no longer have a a no but you like women yes i'm a lesbian i told you i got a shout with ellen do you think she likes actors i don't know let me try this arrow thing one more time i can prove i can act okay this time much bigger arrow much more drama [Music] i got shot in the shoulder not gonna die now my stomach okay i'm done i can sit up now actually you can't what your ribs are caught on your spine [Applause] what son of teachers i kill you from here you you feed me a standard something once in a while this would not happen [Applause] i'm a lesbian not a cheerleader [Applause] [Applause] i have a girlfriend not for long not when she finds out about your mini will you please listen to what i'm saying i do not talk to horse you are dead to me you're dead to all of us so ahmed i'm not listening ahmed there's someone here i want you to meet one of your boyfriends i think not no i think this is someone you would like to see is it a woman no i already have a goat this is a surprise guest ryan seacrest no damn it look what i want you to do is just want you to look over there while i'm getting him out so he won't peek okay just look over there oh wait a minute when i'm not looking are you going to kill me no that's actually a good way of doing it you know kind of old school but effective it's like hey look at that no just look over there and don't look back until i say so okay whatever this is kind of like christmas huh yeah just look over there okay don't peek okay i'm not gonna pee could you stay over here no no okay [Applause] who the hell is that hello father [Applause] it's your son ahmed jr aj that's right wait i thought you were dead surprise this is great hey what happened to your face oh yeah my bad ahmed he's your son look at him what do you see well he does have my eye [Applause] actually i do yes i do why do you sound like elton john when you were separated after the accident he was raised in england did my mom miss me uh yeah i don't know what the hell how do you not know oops [Applause] what's wrong with your leg nothing what's wrong with my leg can you fix this no damn it don't look at me all right i'll remember get marnell to help us what marnell he worked final mark marnell come fix my leg hey he's kind of cute [Applause] okay and moving on [Music] you

Channel: Laugh Society

Views: 4,028,713

Keywords: entertainment, comedy, comedians, funny, comedy video, comedy central, laugh factory, just for laughs, comedy show, stand up, best comedy, best comedian, entertainment tonight, jeff dunham, jeff dunham: controlled chaos, achmed, achmed the dead terrorist, achmed the terrorist, jeff dunham peanut, jeff dunham achmed the dead terrorist, jeff dunham walter, jeff dunham christmas, jeff dunham biden, jeff dunham full show, comedy central stand up, LSOSCDS6E045, LaughComedyDynamics

Id: mydSLTZ2PQ4

Length: 12min 0sec (720 seconds)

Published: Sat Feb 05 2022