The Best of: Jeff Dunham's Jose the Jalepeño

actually i'm excited senor why are you excited jose proudly because you're holding his stick [Applause] do you have to do jokes like that it's just weird to me that in front of everyone you're holding jose's stick any suggestions you should at least take a nap to dinner first it's just a stick maybe it's actually a handle a handle yeah you could use jose as a weapon to hit with yes i want to go back into the box no this is awesome what happened to frank he got wet by a jalapeno on the stick yes think about it you'd be wielding a mexican lacquer on the stick yes look you know how batman had his sidekick robin and one of their weapons was a batarang yes of course oh dude what you just showed your geek and it smells like loser you are not a loser senor thank you jose suck up not that reject hey he can drop you and then i'll throw down a couple of avocados and we got guacamole i could still burn your ass good point all right look wait the batman thing just made me think of something what if this comedy business doesn't work out for you yeah you can be a crime fighter a crime fighter yes you could lead dunham man with jose your trusty sidestick so you're saying i would be a superhero ish if is this like jewish no you're not jewish because then you wouldn't be jose jalapeno you'd be honey jalapeno on a bagel where would you hold him then [Laughter] in the hole [Applause] i am not touching that no you probably never have okay this sucks so we're at crane fighting teen senor yes what kind of crime do we fight illegal aliens i think there's a conflict of interest look so you're finding illegals whack them on the head with jose and every time jose hits someone he yells old yes pretty cool huh i guess so but uh do i get a costume what anything from those earlier photos [Applause] i'd go with the red shorts in your yeah then you the ugly-ass cracker man okay look for this crime fighting thing how's jose gonna dress well he needs a disguise he's difficult to hide i'm not saying anything of course not you're still holding it you have a sidekick a sidekick from bat nut yep is it jose maybe get him out look look look who are you that's my sidekick robin rubin [Applause] iron ruden i see so you're a superhero too you see okay jose rulin sorry reuben how can i help you citizen oh excellent question non-citizen so do you have superpowers see what are they i can hit you with my steak or poke you in the eye if you eat me i'd learn your ass and if you mix in with dad guacamole he can give you the cha-cha-cha's so uh reuben are you a fan of batman and robin no then why are you dressed like this senor peanut put these clothes on me i could not stop him why couldn't you stop him he doesn't have any arms [Applause] he is not that nut he is captain a-hole hey all right well i think it's a good costume i wonder the dress says something that gave me nightmares like a big plate of nachos [Applause] no i wanted to dress as an ugly why didn't you i could not find a mask that looks like your sister hey wait a minute what the hell ha ha jerk all right so hey jose for halloween why don't you and your family all line up and go as a picket fence [Applause] come on you know what scarce it was a a deep fryer and cheese up his ass i know someone else who has cheese up their ass yeah who ask your mother all right [Applause] okay look is bat nut sidekick do you have any responsibilities no nothing you don't even drive a car no that would be stick on stick and that's illegal in some states but reuben you don't have any powers or limbs how do you stop villains nice nice it's been funny if you said pepper spray [Laughter] why didn't you say pepper spray you cannot say that without moving your lips so reuben how do you spray the bad guys well this is a family show have you ever been a sidekick before no but he's done a side dish get in a sign dish with cheese full your own love all right so look a sidekick is there in case the superhero gets into trouble see what do you do if bat nut gets beat up i just laughed and then i put the video on youtube he gets lots of hits who's the kenyatta now so on halloween when you guys aren't batnutting reuben you go trick-or-treating see we go home to home ah unless he's out of work what then he goes home depot to home depot so jose what did you dress up as last year i went as a mexican boy scout i see yeah he helped an old lady cross the border [Applause] so jose where'd you get the mask senor peanut all he needed was a piece of material with two holes in it right so that's my underwear his mask is your underwear is that why my eyes are learning thank you taco bell i'm just saying you guys just went on your first ski trip yes jose and acled saw snow for the first time ever how was the skiing great i had to snowboard stick so jose did you dress warmly for the trip she would you wear a scarf in one boot i told him he should have just worn a garden hose you know what he could use as a raincoat a condom [Applause] all right so how did the trip go it was the disaster really see what happened achned broke his leg the bone was sticking out it's always sticking out did you put a splint on it of course what'd you use me so when did this happen during the avalanche avalanche hocknet started it we told him not to bring that bomb he had a bomb on the stink and why did ackman have a bomb i think he's a workaholic so what happened after the avalanche we are trapped in the snow for three days wow did you have anything to eat a jalapeno [Applause] you're a sick bastard we were finally rescued by a saint bernard but the dog took acne and buried his ass and his head and his feet it was hilarious why didn't you help ahmed we were laughing too hard i want to get back to the christmas okay jose how do you celebrate the holidays we wake up in the learning and then they take a nap i'm kidding i know they work very hard they run to the border and decorate all the barn wire jose does not run to the border you're right he goes [Music] jose what does christmas mean to you it's the day jesus was born right i didn't know your gardener was born on christmas [Music]

Channel: Laugh Society

Views: 1,468,115

Keywords: comedy, comedians, stand up comedy, comedy central, comedy show, stand up, best comedy, best comedian, jeff dunham, arguing with myself, bubba j, controlled chaos, all over the map, spark of insanity, comedy special, just for laughs 2021, stand up comedy reaction, jeff dunham biden, jeff dunham peanut, jeff dunham achmed the dead terrorist, jeff dunham walter, jeff dunham full show, jeff dunham bubba j, Jeff dunham: controlled chaos, LSOLSLS1E023, LaughComedyDynamics

Id: 9ttt0YzyVjg

Length: 12min 10sec (730 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 23 2022