The Art of the Wololo in Age of Empires II

haha [ __ ] ya guys it's about time we got some goddamn wololo on this channel my name is Vale Fisk but you probably knew that and today we've got an appointment with one of the finest RTS games of all time Age of Empires 2 but of course it's not good enough to just play this masterpiece because if you've seen any of my other videos you'll know my entire goal is and always will be to meme my way to victory so of course you've read the title and know exactly what I'm planning to do we're going to follow the steps laid out in Donald J Trump's most recent novel the art of the wololo and I'm going to try and win a skirmish in this game by only using monks and missionaries that means that any unit I actually use barring villagers of course has to be built and produced by some other faction and then converted to mind through the mystical powers of the sacred word now you'll notice I did just say monks and missionaries which of course means we will be playing as the Spanish as they are the only faction with access to the missionaries so without further ado let's begin god I'll [ __ ] love those little intro duties they're great oh [ __ ] ok here we go guys we're in alright start start spamming out villagers we got it we got to find ourselves some sheep come on god damn it where are these bastards where in the [ __ ] are the Sheep ah there they are right here we go all right let's keep hunting around we got to find all the sheep you know it's it's a real shame we're not playing as like Wales or something cuz I bet they have some super sheep finding ability I hope I don't have to clarify that this horse clearly doesn't count either cuz I spawned with them I mean any future units I'm not only I'm not even gonna build a barracks I'm just gonna leave it oh [ __ ] what the [ __ ] are we we are right next to this guy holy [ __ ] oh my [ __ ] god that's close ok that that could be a problem [ __ ] damn it maybe that's where all my sheep went maybe he stole them so I'm gonna have some some economy issues if I can't find any more sheep can I have to rely on two oh there we go there's a couple more sheep Oh even more hell [ __ ] yeah I will make this place Wales in no time he'll [ __ ] yeah guys I'm at the top of the back that's an obscure programming reference for you there this is this is going well if we if we just ignore what the leaderboard says this is going well all right we're gonna build a [ __ ] dock cuz there is a ton of fish right here oh no oh [ __ ] Charles the bold beat us to it we were so close god dammit oh damn quite a few of them beat us to it actually we were we weren't as close as I thought we would be there we go we got our dock now although our position on the scoreboard does have me a little bit worried I think I think we'll be okay we'll be fine clearly the game just isn't recognizing my strategy right okay apparently olden the Hun has only just reached the feudal age which is sad but makes me worried I feel I feel behind I will admit I have not played this game in a long long time so I'm I might be a little rusty I don't think I'm doing that bad though I don't I don't doesn't feel like it uh-uh no let's sheep his mind bud get out of there Flossie oh whoa guard you all right let's let's build a blacksmith not not because I can actually upgrade my unis but because I need it to advance to the next age Oh Oh what the [ __ ] this guy is impeding on my fishing grounds this this I cannot allow you got to get a monastery going here oh [ __ ] they've already got guys in the castle age [ __ ] me Oh what the [ __ ] I'm being attacked oh no no not my fishing boats [ __ ] I don't I don't have a monastery yet I can't do anything all I have is my one Scout cavalry oh do you know what we could do though I think we are allowed to build towers right because that's not a unit that's that's a defensive thing so I think it will build a watchtower like right here try and deal with that [ __ ] got Danny he's gonna kill all of my fishing boats though [ __ ] yeah get off of my villagers hurry finish this watchtower there we go I build build a second one there we go all right we're just gonna keep pumping out watchtowers until I can get a monastery going focus fire Ashly he's gonna kill no it killed my [ __ ] [ __ ] Frank so there bullsh at fire ships [ __ ] he's building more of them it's not fair can we hurry up we need to get to the castle age so we can get some units [ __ ] me okay uh what do we do I'm gonna take a bunch of these guys and I'm just gonna start building towers we are we are not gonna last long here at this rate there we go we're in the castle age quick quick quick get a [ __ ] monastery down boys everyone everyone who was not getting would just build the monastery we need it now don't you dare touch these villagers oh you bastard oh no oh god they're so effective okay the monastery is done get monks get monks all right well these villagers are gonna make a valiant stand but either they're gonna get [ __ ] murked [ __ ] they're killing everything guys this is not good we almost have some missionaries we just need to hold out a little little bit longer there we go we've got our missionary let's start converting go wool oh come on no yeah get away leave the doggie alone oh my god [ __ ] damn it [ __ ] this is bad this is this is pretty bad guys let's get all my gold workers down we're gonna build some [ __ ] towers in the villages [ __ ] thing they're just killing him the moment he comes out it's not fair everyone just spam and watchtowers it's all we need all right go well a little that last night who's a little preoccupied yes okay we got one we actually got one holy [ __ ] okay he'll he'll [ __ ] yeah okay we finally have a unit well we're gonna send all these guys all these villagers to just go mined gold because we need to start spamming the [ __ ] out of monks okay well that was it was bad but it wasn't a disaster we're okay we're alive all right well we've got we've got a little army of monks here now so I wonder if we have enough let's try and go convert this galley our monks line formation prepare for battle taking fire we got it we got it we took the ship I'll [ __ ] your [ __ ] fire ships though oh god damn it is is fine this is fine we can recover from this guys just you watch we've got our beginning to assemble our army here of monks and missionaries get him now's our chance yes oh my [ __ ] god we did it we've got two nights okay okay it's working guys it's working we need more gold mines can I like take some slaves from somewhere and make them work with the mines I am the Spanish like can I can I do that we need we need to get more land units we need to like try and accumulate a real army here oh wait now that we get we can convert buildings now so let's try and just take the dog instead of destroy all right just just careful easy does it boys easy does it there there there's a horse convert [ __ ] oh no we got him we got him hell yeah light cavalry Mario let's put him in the army a new recruit to the cause the cult of Vale Fisk [ __ ] you know I genuinely thought we were gonna lose back there but it looks like it's okay now we seem to have recovered somewhat I think what we should try and do who's this up here is this the Aztecs I don't know we should we're gonna try and poke them a little bit all right lads let's go let's go let's go kidnap another villager or something all right excuse me who are these the others the Persians okay excuse me Persians do you have any like Knights or anything that you'd like to oh hello okay there's a couple of nights there let's split you into two groups right let's take these three there okay you guys get that night you guys get that night oh holy [ __ ] no no no oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] I'm sorry I'm sorry it was an accident I promise convert that one just convert him convert him in run oh [ __ ] rest in peace oh my [ __ ] god that's a lot of men oh no we're men of the Lord please don't kill retreat to the new missionary pile retreat to the base you're almost there oh no they got him [ __ ] they also killed my entire army [ __ ] convert people convert [ __ ] leave me alone [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] okay this this might be it guys this actually might be it converts converts leave me alone okay [ __ ] get in there build some more watchtowers [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] this is so bad [ __ ] I've only got this one missionary lefts oh don't touch him you bastards well it's all down on these watchtowers basically [ __ ] just keep going [ __ ] there's only a couple of them left hold the line do not die missionary please come on come on oh god damn it all right we're good though we managed to hold the line guys can we put out this fire please thank you all right we're just gonna start we're gonna queue up in absolute [ __ ] on the villagers you know maybe what we need to do is like retreat into this corner and just build like a town centre and a monastery there let's send this one villager over let's scout it out okay so the lesson here is we have to be really really careful with who we try to convert all right so let's let's see over here right see but this is this big-ass cliff edge right we can use this as like a wall basically and just sort of not have to worry about that I want you to build a wall all right just you the [ __ ] just a bunch of Shepherds over there monks I'll just I'll just borrow you for a moment ah no come back here okay okay yeah I'm sorry I'm sorry just don't hurt me I said I was sorry flee flee back into the village again here here we go [ __ ] alert everybody get inside it was about to get oh my [ __ ] god what was going on down here I think it's about time we just abandon the village everyone get your asses out of there flee flee to the new settlement so Lee shits yeah there's no way we can be both of these armies but these two armies might fight each other so we'll see we managed to get out of there with a small small force of nights and five missionaries so that that's always good alright I'm going to dispatch all the villagers and try and get some out all villagers flee north get out of there all right we're abandoning this settlement did any of my village oh my [ __ ] god tons of them did oh hell yeah alright let's quickly build a castle and I'm glad we did in fact get some villagers out there's hope for us yet guys somehow this they haven't destroyed the village it's very strange there we go now we can get Inquisition which will give us a faster conversion rate and that's what we really need is if we can convert them faster than they can get to us we can actually like do some hit hit-and-run attacks here it's like drive-by gangster monks various convert there we go okay excellent we got another night it's another another addition to my fine collection under attack oh hello again okay I'm not I'm not dumb enough to send my missionaries in there there were gonna retreat yeah good thing we got out then cuz that that happened that's unfortunate this is this is looking more difficult by the moment guys I don't know if I can actually pull this off anymore ever was that good at this game let's see if we can't find any lone nights wandering the wandering the wasteland here oh those those are stables that's a thingy get it all right we got one all right let's leave take him take him home you know if we sit next to this stable right it might be possible for us to just keep stealing stuff he builds alright we good yeah we're good okay we're fully recharged let's see if we can catch something else in here there's another one get it easy easy peasy boys alright sent send him home link up with the rest of the army aw sis brilliant we're just gonna sit here we're gonna camp his stable and just take every unit he pills all right let's do it hit and run attack on the nights the [ __ ] there's an Aztek in here alright well we've got an Aztec Eagle warrior I don't [ __ ] know why I'll just send him home let's send a listen every oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] get out of there flee flee flee okay he knows he definitely knows what I've been up to this whole time holy [ __ ] I'm glad I caught that [ __ ] me I mean we're definitely accumulating a small mishmash army here I've just random crap but it's a long road ahead of us oh [ __ ] it's [ __ ] nasty kill you go warrior take it oh [ __ ] yeah but uh we're gonna come out here and we're gonna start mining this gold cuz that's what we need I also love how now that I've converted at the Aztec Eagle warriors they speak Spanish there's a knight at the door no don't no no no stay inside the walls you [ __ ] morons I'll see you let him in like what what are you doing [ __ ] sake why don't we build a wonder like chant genuine question why don't I just build a wonder like in the middle of the space you know okay that's what we're gonna do right that's that's good but that's my end goal now is we're gonna build an army large enough to fend off the enemy while we build a wonder I also love how we have like a proper battle line of missionaries missionaries are the best form of cavalry in the game so I gave chopping down a [ __ ] tree through the wall damn I'm impressed is there anyone for us to convert down here just sitting around hello go up in regional oh hell oh [ __ ] okay sacrifice you hold them off the missionaries are so much more important than you are just keep running guys keep running keep running keep running get up here we need to send send our troops down defend the missionaries at all costs okay the missionaries just need to run for their lives right now this is this is not looking good I seem to have attracted his whole army here okay all units retreat to inside the walls just whatever you do don't let them in you let them in you [ __ ] morons okay they're just gonna keep letting them in aren't they yeah I just leave the gate open [ __ ] this is a [ __ ] stupid idea alright we definitely took some missionary casualties there should we just should we just build it like we have enough resources to build this wonder like would it be worth just just going for it I think it might be all right lads here we go take all of our builders holy show there's a [ __ ] tall building build the Wonder it's under construction ai [ __ ] am I being attacked already oh Sh yes yes is the ed sir [ __ ] okay we're gonna take the missionaries we're gonna put them really close to the wall so we can try and like convert them from through the wall it's a good distraction I think this fails though I am genuinely [ __ ] because I have no backup plan and no resources so let's let's hope it doesn't come to that Hey it's quiet it's too quiet we're gonna we're gonna send a scout out to find out what they're planning here so where did they go he has a pikemen oh I think he's fighting is he fighting Charles right now [ __ ] guys this actually might work out for us I think the Persians are kind of busy fighting with Charles the bolt and are you there just gonna leave me so this could work this actually might work and this does still count as a victory by monk because it's a wonder right so it's like this mystical amazing thing and it's so mystical and amazing that all of these superior forces are just gonna give up yeah that makes sense Oh oh no they're attacking [ __ ] we're gonna be overrun in minutes oh no we got him it's okay all right it's done let's start the timer we're down to 280 years now and there's been no real challenge yet what are you doing they know full well where it is they know how much time they have be kind of [ __ ] dumb if they don't try and really stop me here with their armies oh okay that's that's that's a lot fall back I can keep running keep running no just reorganize themselves into a stupid pattern in are now gonna die goddammit [ __ ] missionaries no no battle tactics here yeah they're they're not gonna get through this wall I'm those are just horsemen they can't do anything real tell you what though we may still be at the bottom of the scoreboard with less than half the score of Charles the bold but hey we're the ones that are gonna win in a hundred and seventy-five years ah dammit so annoying when they die before they're willing to convert oh oh hello okay as that's a sizable force he's not gonna break through the walls or anything but that's that's not bad yeah I feel fine I I'm not worried about this at all oh [ __ ] oh oh [ __ ] I spoke too soon they've got battering rams alright it's time to use the army this is what they're here for [ __ ] kilt quickly get down there and kill those guys I push them away kill the siege engines that's the real issue here there we go successfully repulsed all right at this point I think it's fairly clear that no matter what I do we've won so with that in mind we're gonna assemble the troops and we're gonna launch an all-out attack on Charles the Bulls now of course by troops I mean I'm gonna take what actual troops I have the missionaries and then my my villagers all of them Oh some of em let's kill these stables there we go move in alright let's let's do it where is the purse this [ __ ] Town Center that's what I really want to kill there it is get it Oh what oh god [ __ ] damn oh I won before I could kill him oh well that was an absolute load of [ __ ] it got close it got close there at times but we pulled it off we did it so thank you guys for watching and I will see you next time [Music]

Channel: Valefisk

Views: 340,567

Rating: 4.8985367 out of 5

Keywords: age of empires 2, age of empires ii, age of empires 2 hd, age of empires 2 hd gameplay, age of empires memes, wololo, funny clips, funny montage, rts, gaming, cities skylines industries, eu4 memes, hoi4 memes, hoi4 multiplayer, valefisk, valefisk paradox quiz show, nostalgia, red dead redemption 2, funny, highlights, game highlights, memes

Id: 2P-jZTiNpNg

Length: 19min 16sec (1156 seconds)

Published: Sun Nov 04 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/4991123]

Does he even know you can garrison? 0_o?

[u/real_kerim]

Surprisingly entertaining.

[u/ShineFenceThreshold]

This bit made me laugh https://youtu.be/2P-jZTiNpNg?t=467

[u/christopherdank]

I just found this guy from this video yesterday, I think the guy is kinda funny, sadly he’s not that good at RTS games.