Holy shit Oh baby, if it isn't company of heroes. Boy, oh boy is it good to see you again my old friend. Man, oh, man Have I been missing this masterpiece. After all there aren't many other games out there that allow me the use of my flammenwerfer without getting me on some kind of a list in The Hague, but anyway, hi, I'm Valefisk but I mean You could probably see that and welcome back to one of my favorite games of all time The finest World War II war crime 'em up Company of Heroes now The reason we're back in action here is that I realized of the three videos on Company of Heroes I made none of them involve me using the main German faction the Wehrmacht, so to solve this under-representation crisis we're gonna have a match today as these boys where we will utilize some of their Finer weapons so to speak Right, so we are of course going to be playing as the Wehrmacht as that is the point in a skirmish on Which map which map are we gonna play? All right, and you know what we're gonna play on Vire River Valley because guys I love this map This map is just I don't know what it is But I think all of the maps I really like are the ones with just a river in the middle with bridges connecting them I don't know I think there's just something about massacring people in choke points that appeals to me, right but we're gonna play on annihilate, on fixed High-standard, yeah we'll stay on overcast as the Wehrmacht, of course and we're gonna have an easy AI who is a Panzer elite which by the way, if you've never played Company of Heroes before putting the words easy AI and Panzer elite together Basically translates to fucking useless. So this really will be a 1v2 I just have this Panzer elite guy occasionally throwing something in the way and we're gonna do this against a Hard AI and a normal AI and we'll make the normal AI British I guess alright, but that should be good. Let's get this underway alright here we go in the game and we're just gonna start pushing out engineers like no tomorrow because this is Basically a 1v2 against a hard and a normal AI which I mean knowing my level of competence to win this is gonna take all my strength strike that I really don't have I'm really shit at video games this isn't gonna end well for me and I know it, right now you guys have probably noticed what the title of this video is which means that of course we are gonna go with the terror doctrine because the terror doctrine Gives us the V1 Rocket alright You know what? We're gonna do we're gonna push out a pair of snipers because a pair of snipers are actually really damn good Against a single squad of infantry Oh, oh no. Are you fucking serious? They've got they got a jeep. A jeep is rushing the base right now. Yep. There it is. Guys, it's just lurking around in the dark like some Eldritch horror. This is, this is not good. Oh, it's found us Oh, it's found us. I need to send reinforcements over there now, before those poor engineers kick the bucket. There we go We've got you surrounded. Ah yeah, that's right. Get out of here stupid ass Jeep. What, what the hell? Wait, what is this? Looks like the Panzer Elite rushed a scout car out. That's fine. It would help if you actually killed the Jeep though Come on All right and of course our strategy here is going to entirely revolve around just slapping MG bunkers on All three of the bridges and trying to hold them for as long as possible. Oh shit That's a lot of infantry in there and there they're gonna start rushing this sniper Oh for God's sake they've got two Jeeps over here now, but thankfully my AI for whatever reason is actually doing really good things He's pushing out. Holy shit he's got five vehicles out already. Oh, oh shit Oh, oh, we lost our engineers down here in the south. They're pushing forward. That's not good All right We're gonna push our sniper pair across the bridge in camouflage and we're gonna start trying to wreak some havoc behind their lines. Oh They've got a mortar emplacement here. Alright, hold fire We're gonna move somewhere where they're not gonna be spotted and just use them as like scouts for now. Oh shit Oh, they killed all of my engineers. Oh, god damnit. What the hell? Alright, this is bad We have a serious breach on the southern flank right now. This is not good. Oh, you've got to be kidding me They've got a bunker down already. Oh shit. Alright we're gonna need a vehicle to get through that. Let's get a half-track going Holy shit. Look at this ensemble of vehicles my ally has in the center right now. This is just impressive. Oh hello, I've got a better Jeep than you have my friend Ah, well if it isn't the flammenwerfer upgrade for the half-track, I'll take one of those. Thank you very much All right. We seriously need to stop them. They're just cutting us off at this point. This is just bad Oh for God's sake. All right set in the flammenwerfer for half track. Let's take him down. Let's watch these bastards burn This is what you get for trying to take our territory from us. Take them down. Oh my god how the health bar just disappears. Oh shit, those are paratroopers and they have anti-tank weapons Oh no back up. We can't afford to lose you this early. Oh, it's gone. It's definitely gone Fuck. All right. This is gonna be a little harder than I than I'd hoped it would be that's fine It's fine. We can pull this back It's okay We're gonna bring in a Stug and that should be good and then we'll be able to push them back off this bridge Oh, well, would you look at that my friends? We have unlocked the firestorm ability, which um Well, you can probably guess what firestorm does now can't you? All right. I think we've been under utilizing these snipers a little bit Let's move them up Into a little group and we're gonna turn them off of hold fire and just let them let them do work on anything that comes past Oh hello. We've got a Stug now fantastic. God damn it. I wish firestorm wasn't a hundred and sixty munitions All I want to do is burn people. Is that really so bad? There we go. Now we have a proper tank in here There's nothing they can do. All right, here we go We could finally take back this bridge and just just hold our side of the map for a minute god damn it I hate these mortar emplacements. They're so annoying. Let's push Oh, oh shit. Oh, no, no, no, no back up. That's not good Oh and it's dead. All right. Well, that was my own fault for trying to use this Stug there to just wipe out that mortar emplacement, I guess All right We're gonna start using these snipers because I've just been having them sit up here the entire time and they could be a lot more useful right now. Oh shit. They're starting to break through the cracks again. Alright, let's let's get the last building We need to get some real Panzers in here like now. Oh hello. Hold on a minute My friends it's time to bring in the V1. All right, so now all we need is a good target All right, you know, I know what we're gonna do. We're gonna drop a V1 right on this bridge, stop this charge now Oh Oh holy shit, we didn't quite get it though. The bridge is still intact Oh, what am I doing? I should bring in that Goliath. Easy, easy. There he is. There's my good old boy the Goliath All right. In you go, nice and easy just Right there And there it goes All right, so we can call that secure, now let's let's deal with this slight leak we have going on up here Okay now hang on I just wanted to interject here real quick because while I was editing this video, I began to notice something Essentially from from this point forward just imagine that you're not listening to Señor Valefisk as you are now but instead are listening to Adolf Hitler's internal monologue as the Second World War progresses because So many of these quotes are so on point it's scarily accurate I'll even put like an approximate year in the top right from this point on to show you where Hitler is at this point Here we go. Push it back boys. Push them back. Push the damn Yanks back across your river. Though I say your river I'm like 90% sure this map is in France somewhere. But oh well, oh shit back up a bit. Oh, this is ridiculous Holy shit. Oh hell, are you serious? How did they get down here? All this is just really problematic This is just not going well is it? All right screw it we're bringing in a Wirbelwind. Let's take him down guys Let's go surely this flak gun will turn the tide in this mass infantry war. Oh shit They're trying to repair this bridge. Oh, no, no. No, that's that's not allowed All right. Let's just park the Flakpanzer up on this little ridge here Which I think is out of the way of this anti-tank gun and as long as it is this will be fine. Oh shit No, no, it can hit us from up here back up, back up, back up. It's these god damn paratroopers. They're so annoying. Holy shit Oh, this is oh, this is not gone well has it. Oh my god. Ah hell look at this defense They've got AT guns and mortars and it's just not good. Fuck. Ah, they've got MG's as well, they've got this really well lockdown. This is annoying. All right, here we go We're starting to like claw this back. I think we're starting to retake. What was ours if we can just take out these guns I think we could make a little push for the center. Oh he set up his base here Are you serious? Aim for the gun, we have to take that gun out. There we go. Alright, we nailed it The gun is down push, forward push forward. Shtel shtel, go. Come on. Take him down. All right, time for a V1 We gotta get the Wunderwaffe in here. Alright V1 rocket target British headquarters It's time to bomb London guys. We're coming back Holy shit Oh, that was nice. Damn. I'm sad I missed that that was fantastic. God This is such a slog, they have so many units. We have to keep backing up because they've so many god damn AT guns I can't just push through with some tanks and win the game. This is so annoying right we're falling back again We can't do this. Oh for fucks sake back up, back up. We're losing it again. Oh my God Look at all the crap they have in there, you know, that would be a really good V1 target. Hmm We just need to take those guns down and we can do this. Oh for fucks sake they've got more infantry in there. This is bad Alright here we are. We got a Panther on the field. Holy shit. Alright, we are definitely calling a V1 in there the moment we're able. Are you serious? Holy shit. This artillery is incredibly annoying. I can't hold any position cuz it just keeps getting annihilated. Look at this Ah shit. We've lost the Panzer IV, we've lost the Knight's Cross holders. We're losing everything now and it's the goddamn artillery The artillery is just insane for God's sake. They're moving the AT guns out. Oh, no, I can pull this back guys We can pull this back. It's not over yet. Alright take out and destroy that gun. Oh hello. Hold on a minute We have the King Tiger. Alright bring in the beast Where is it? Where is it? Oh, there she is Hello there, my friend. This is what we needed. This is what we needed to turn the tide Alright, we're gonna get a group of Panthers and King Tigers and some infantry We're gonna make a push and we're gonna go for it. Alright, hold on. We need to take a peak here Is there a good place to drop this V1? Yeah, we're gonna drop it in there. Here it comes Oh Oh no That didn't end well for them now did it. Oh god, I can't replace casualties now cuz they've taken so much of our territory I'm out of supply. Holy shit look at it all. Right, here we go We're gonna just have the sniper this sniper from the beginning of the game sit here so we can start just bombing this area. Oh, that's what it is, it's a priest. They've got one of those goddamn things in here I want to send another V1 in there, but I have to wait like five minutes for it to come back God, it's just, it's just ridiculous. If I you know, if I can't take it back, we're not gonna win this game Oh my god, we need we need to get some kind of bomb or maybe some mortars in there. I don't know Yeah, actually, let's get like three mortars right and we'll just put them on the ridge and just bomb this area repeatedly Ah fuck they're really pushing up though. This isn't good. God, I think I've really said that line too much there. This isn't good They're pushing over here Are you serious? They just one shot the mortar team with a mortar Oh God All right, we gotta back these guys up a bit. There's no way they can stay up here now I also love how this sniper is literally. Oh shit, Oh No Right as I was saying I love how the snipers been sitting there the entire time he then gets bumped into by a Bren carrier and killed Alright we really need to start taking out some of these mortars cuz if I'm honest the worst part of the whole thing is the fucking mortar teams Alright well, I think we need to do now is try and get a third Panther out Repair, and then we're just gonna rush. We're just gonna rush one of their bases. Are you serious? They pushed up an anti-tank gun like right there and they built a mortar thing Go deal with this. I don't want to deal with this. Alright guys, but the V1 is ready So we're gonna roll the King Tiger up to the ridge and we're just gonna we're gonna try and see the V1 land in all of its magnificence Keep pushing, keep pushing Holy shit. Oh my god. Yep right there V1 is away Holy shit Oh man that's got to have put me on a list now I don't know what the hell they I thinks it's doing bringing in a Marder III but I mean, all right. All power to you. Oh, you got to be kidding me. He's building a 25 pounder Inside of our side of the map. This thing could reach my base. Alright, I need you to back up my big King Tiger friend Oh shit. He's lost his engine. Okay, that's an emergency. Oh fuck no. No, do not lose this tank I swear Alright, we need to get this King Tiger away to the base like and now. See what the problem is, right I have all these resources but I can't call anything in because I don't have the points cuz they keep taking shit Let's call it a firestorm. Actually, no, call in a firestorm back up again, right, everybody back up We'll let the fire handle these poor Americans Yeah, there we go. That got rid of them quick. Oh, man, they're really pushing on this side now This is not gonna end well for me, this is over. I really do think this is over I have an idea though, right if we can come up here Repair this bridge in like secret right and then push through To the American base with all of my remaining tanks Oh this isn't good. All right, we're gonna pull back. We're gonna pull back all tanks to the base Oh the base is right here. We're basically at the base anyway, but we're gonna pull back even more This time we're gonna pull our own Battle of the Bulge. That's what we're gonna do. We're gonna use all of this high-tech equipment Rather than defending the base. We're gonna go on the offensive. Are you fucking me? Do they have a mortar trained on my base? Oh, no. No. No. Is it the 25 pounder? Oh shit they killed all the engineers, the tanks have survived but the engineers haven't and now we really are we're down to our last legs here. Oh fuck they just killed that Oh, ok. All right guys. This is it. We're gonna build some engineers We're gonna go full Battle of the Bulge on them right here. We also have a single, okay So here's what we have left, right? We have two Panthers and a King Tiger all at varying amounts of health. We have a single Pioneer squad and we have enough munitions for one V1 rocket. That's what we're sitting at right now Oh fuck they're starting to bomb the base though. They're bombing Berlin. All right. This is it We're just gonna go we're gonna push we're just gonna smash straight through their lines drive on Paris Let's go. The Battle of the Bulge has begun. Alright, so far so good. We're we're pushing up here All right, the Panthers have arrived. We're gonna slap them in the corner over there. Oh shit was that, the 25 pounder? Oh, no, the engineers. Oh, fuck. We lost the engineers shit. What are we gonna do now? We can't repair the bridge. There's zero chance of us cutting through this. Right, here's what we're gonna do We're gonna send one of Panthers out. We're gonna fire a V1 on their base for like the fifth time. Oh great they're actually on our base now. So that's also fantastic Alright, Panther, you just quietly sneak in there and we'll fire this V1 right on the spot V1 targeted back up, back up, back up and it's gone. Holy shit. Look at all that. Oh this isn't good Alright, there's not much we can do at this point. We have a King Tiger and a Panther there's no way across. Wait, but this this bridge is repaired. Okay, hold on. We're going around guys We're gonna go back to the base if we're gonna go around. Oh wait, we have we have pioneers now. Oh yeah, because we lost the other Panther we could afford it and auto built them. Alright, here's what we're gonna do We're gonna pull back a bit. We're gonna get the Pioneers out and we're gonna go back, we're gonna do this again We're gonna go again. Alright, here we go Battle of the Bulge part 2 Electric Boogaloo is underway. Let's do this Oh my god. No, they've got the anti-tank guns up here. We got to back up, all units fall back, fall back to Berlin Come on fall back Oh, no, I think the King Tiger might be fucked my friends if he doesn't lose his engine he can get out But otherwise, he's screwed Oh what did I just say? Oh, we just lost the Panther as well Ah fuck. Well, you know, I think as far as the Battle of the Bulge goes that was pretty accurate I'm not entirely sure what to do anymore I lost my tanks and that was kind of my last hope. Oh my god, you're fucking kidding me. They built a 25 pounder They built a pounder That is so unfair. It's like building a fucking artillery piece on the bypass outside of Berlin. Like what the hell is that? That's not allowed. This has not gone well. This is not ended well. This is not how it was supposed to go Um, okay. Well, I guess at this point, we're just gonna spam out Pioneers cuz I don't know what else to do What why is my ally not even been touched? Now I'm over here completely annihilated I guess it's because they know which one of us is the real threat. Yep. That's it. Alright, shh we're gonna have to bring in some engineers and we're gonna repair. Oh here they come Oh, holy shit, they've just set up a firing line there. Oh my god look at it all. There's zero chance for these poor reinforcements. There's no way they're gonna get past any of this now are they Oh, that's it. The only one left is the officer The only one left in Berlin is Hitler himself. Alright, I'm just gonna go quietly. Shoot myself off in the back corner here Oh shit. I can't. Oh no. Oh, oh, that's a shame. Looks like there's no suicide function I'm just gonna have to die. Last stand of the- Oh, he's dead. Oh, well that was it. Now, you see I did not lose this game because I'm really bad at it No, no. No, I was going for historical accuracy. You see, right? Because we had the good push and we put the snipers across the land That was that was us doing well and then we slowly get pushed back and then we have the Battle of the Bulge and which goes horribly wrong and we don't get anywhere with it and then we end up You know being bombed repeatedly. So thank you guys for watching and I will see you next time
