Battle for Middle Earth II is a Perfectly Balanced Masterpiece

ah now this here this is it guys we repeat there's no better RTS than a good old Lord of the Rings RTS now this game besides having one of the longest names I've ever seen in a video game sits alongside halo wars as that console RTS I played the [ __ ] out of years ago in fact I say I played this more than halo wars which is no easy feat also a quick aside about the current state of this poor game but this was made by EA EA Sports the game I mean not EA Sports the the main one and when EA lost the rights to Lord of the Rings a few years ago rather than negotiate with whoever has them now they just stopped selling them altogether so if you want to play this for yourself and like me you don't have any of the older discs available you're gonna have a fun time on Google trying to get this thing to run in 1920 by 1080 and if that's what you want to do good luck all right anyway now if you've never heard of battle for middle-earth - you're you're in for a ride here cuz this game has some let's say interesting quirks that may or may not give the player who knows them a very slight advantage now we're gonna play an AI skirmish because of course we are and we're going to play it on dole cool door and put ourselves in the castle this is like the only way I play this game it's to sit and turtle in some big fuck-off castle that's built into the map until I'm ready to go and kill the AI as for the faction we're gonna play the one that I feel the most connection with both spiritually and physically like honestly if you saw me IRL with these guys I blend right in so we're gonna play the goblins who are really good at digging holes stealing things and living in caves alright so it begins now that it really begins we are in a giant fortress completely safe from everyone else of course you know one thing I love about this game in in general is how old all the bad guys are they're all they're all cockney they're all from Yorkshire you know the the less nice parts of England that I guess they're just building a metaphor for and hell if you really want to hammer at home the the goblins in this [ __ ] game they're resource buildings are mines right and as a standard let's put all of our unit production all the way at the back where it's perfectly safe and can't be touched by any sneaky AI tactics I mean look at the portraits clearly from Yorkshire right oh oh they're here already whose Oh goblins oh I see how the [ __ ] okay they have a a cave troll this is like minute three how do they have a cave troll me all right we need to start building like now or we're just gonna get [ __ ] on another stupidly good thing about the goblins is the fact that they can just shove everyone into a mine and just have them appear elsewhere like here so uh yeah that's that's fine let's bounce there's no problems with being able to teleport your entire army across the map at will oh and enemy builder is charging us get him boys always made it through its just killed half of my own guys he's not dead why are you leaving he's right there we get him all right we got him but there's now a cave troll here that's not good it says this is not working I'm just having collateral damage with these catapults right now something else I've neglected until now is the powers menu which they're just you know there's just one off things you can use that ever recharge that they range from kinda useless like this one which just gets you plus 50% damage to things like summoning a Balrog onto the fields cuz yeah that's fair okay so we have one goblins and one dwarves oh here he comes again the kamikaze builder all rights now stop him this time no don't just run up to him come on there we go that's more like it let's just let's just have a little foray into the jungle here there's another builder get him oh god there's another cave troll here these guys just suck but you see now we have the finest unit in the game which are the Spider Riders because you don't you don't attack with the Spider Riders you just you just walk around and everyone just sort of flies out of the way and yeah it works really well oh here we go alright so there's some guys in the way here so let's just you know knock him out of the way these highly-trained archers and they're all dead except that one over there I missed cuz you know that's really fair it lets them fight back I see no problems with this look here's here's pikemen right surely they can stop some cavalry nope not at all they all die a little harder but not much even better as these guys also have bows so uh you don't even have to engage them it's kind of dumb excuse me I just wander through here with what's left of these guys I mean even if you don't kill them you can just turn right around because it's not like they can get up in time to stop you it's just oh just bounce balance and action guys it's completely fair oh [ __ ] we only have one left run oh what a shame that the army has finally been defeated guys we're just gonna we're just gonna have to pack it in except that I've built a lot more of them while they were out there wait why why does the wall not connect to the gate oh that's that that's [ __ ] design right there that's how you make a wall Oh what no I said I just let a builder in artists where does he think he's going he's building something you know ah no this is not happening spiders get in there we're not not having someone build that in the middle of our base it's not happening cannot believe he can be this cheeky my god there we go fully upgraded army spider boys let's go oh what's this some dwarves fighting some goblins yeah let me just let me just interrupt this a little bit here and walk right through them all it just it just melts away hey don't they most plenty of goblins over here just uh just keep going straight through no problems this game is balanced let's just do that let's go let's go destroy their base Oh God that collateral damage is just awful here comes another builder again can we get him before he gets the gate nope he's just gonna just gonna waltz up to the gate and he's gonna sit there again until I opened the door for him by mistake ah there we go now you see now we have Mountain Giants which if I'm honest just kind of look like Jar Jar Binks is Chad cousin alright let's move see this is problematic I want to open the gate so these guys can get out but at the same time oh [ __ ] yeah this I should have been paying attention to this I could have dealt with this pretty fast you know what I have a solution let's just let's just buy a dragon why not oh [ __ ] they broke the gate down oh that's bad [ __ ] this weird ass how no scorpion no we killed one wait oh no dang I was expensive who's this wandering around oh it's Gimli just walking by without a care in the world taking house oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] they're really in here now us is no good the base has been breached Oh God the front door is gone as well oh we are so screwed [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] oh no they're coming into the front gate now ah yes the dragon is here there's my boy alright let's do this hopefully he can turn the tide goddamn Gimli in here though he's doing work he's killed all my Spider Riders [ __ ] it's my Viet guys we might be out of the game here fine come on go get the Torf don't let him wait what the is why is there a giant spider attacking the base where did that come from [ __ ] the faces a half health what oh my god I'm about to lose the game are you kidding me she'll be knee okay we need to call up the big guns it's got the watcher in here oh that's too close to the base we can't get him in [ __ ] only the dragon protecting this base this base has no health left oh and now the scorpion guy is just walking in and out of it all right that's fine oh wait no no this this base is destroyed the game isn't over because I have builders left that's why there's still this like Inlet here that's protected for now and got them okay until my builders are dead and they're both here all right let's build a can we build a fortress why can't we build one [ __ ] is because we're playing on the castle map I think it's because we're playing on the castle map we're gonna have to repair it Oh they'd broken through this door now [ __ ] why are they ganging up on me there's two separate AI right this is these are goblins and dwarves and they're both on me right now like what the [ __ ] go on blow them away boy here we go that's much better what the hell's this rant random dwarf number eight that's who all right we need to go protect the base so we can resurrect this thing we need to push them out and oh [ __ ] oh that's bad yeah this here might be it cuz I'll draw a still life but we might need him for a last stand here in a minute just a little longer finally there we go right let's get the watcher in here see send a fiery missile to the target let's try this out oh that looked bad there he can buy me some time while I get more of these guys but yeah this isn't looking good again and there goes the base again [ __ ] we were so close to Balrog as well alright we've once again retaken the base for how long I I don't know oh my god they just just don't stop oh no no oh damn oh there goes my only real advantage in this fight this is this is the last stand now and to try and put this builder in the mind Network maybe he'll survive that way and this other one I'm gonna stick inside that Tower okay so the Builder didn't make it it seems so the only builder left is the one I'm gonna hide in this tower and I'm gonna hope he survives okay there we go we're just barely clinging on here we are we've got nothing left at this point run run Georgia or get out of there it's the only time I want him to live oh [ __ ] the Builder getting together no I said we have no more builders we only have what we have this is it this is the last stand I will hold the line I'll fight to the end protect protect the Fisher don't let them kill the Fisher okay get the mountain ient it's gonna kill that Fisher I was more flowing in this is it this is not much I can do the Fisher is gone the only thing left is this one cave come on come on men of yorkshire hold the line so this is the only wait no this Phil okay I spoke too soon this is the only building left and it's at half health okay we need to kill kill beseech equipment now nope that's it what am I am I not out and I guess I have I guess have units left but why am I not out there we go Oh clearly it's the faults of the faction the hell's going on now oh of course now they're fighting cuz it's the AI right well despite my personal failure I hope you guys enjoyed this so thanks for watching and I will see you around [Music] you

Channel: Valefisk

Views: 681,827

Rating: 4.6846118 out of 5

Keywords: lotr, bfme2, lord of the rings, lotro, battle for middle earth 2, lotr music, lotr theme, eu4, vic2, hoi4, eu4 speedchievement, eu4 memes, hoi4 memes, hoi4 multiplayer, speedchievement, lotr online, lotr lore, bfme 1.09, bfme2 reforged, bfme 2 vs, bfme2 dwarves, bfme2 hd, bfme2 age of the ring mod

Id: 5SKZzB0T2YU

Length: 14min 45sec (885 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 13 2018