Thames | Tommy Cooper - A Tribute | 1986

[Music] [Applause] I don't know why I'm laughing I'll get a straw head Hanako camera here it is genuine Kevin it is Dave live me look at I'm so fed up you feel me hey exhaust I think just thankful all rain glasses [Laughter] Tommy Cooper for my money one of the funniest men of the last 50 years perhaps before then I don't know I wasn't here but Tommy Cooper do you know one of the criticisms levelled at tongue by people who don't really know said that he never gets a trick right well he was a member of the Magic Circle and you don't get to be a member of that they're getting your tricks wrong the hours he spent practicing getting those tricks wrong and you see about Tom he was a funny man I mean ordinary comedians or comedians when they smartly dressed and they walk into a room they think they look rather odd with people Tom stood out a mile even though he was in Tekamah dressed when he walked into a room people wouldn't say what is he is he in the ministry a doctor a surgeon the High Court judge totally was Tommy Cooper and people would look at him even at university was smartly dressed and say what an idiot well tom was about as big an idiot as Einstein and he got more laughs [Applause] thank you good evening and we got time for more as what a traditional is empty cloth for live Dutch look see that is what does the same he's a little trim like the Sardar there's a very famous egg factory is a king's abate my teeth itch I went there Dennis he's about to throw our guns gonna come out he looked at me and I said I've got a turtle pages up there see and up there it was seized up I told I do I said what's that cuz he spoke that's it I'm gonna paint up those over I what is all x-ray so you get these little tiny x-rays like they're a little small we're like that I do put out there I think I'm sitting there like that I need friendlies x-ray machine didn't see but yeah anyway just like that and he took it up and he looked at it and he said no wonder her see do you got a finger poked up there as I was waiting to go in the sea the same tears and I was sitting reading the magazines was it off about that Titanic [Laughter] no sabía vanish before your very eyes I don't call my for you're killing me there every night when I'm lying in bed they're getting running throat like that I want you to watch me very closely and if you see any suspicious moves don't say this egg will vanish in front of very off you won't have the slightest clue where it's gone yeah on the other hand I've got four fingers inside [Laughter] look medicine Freddie around slightest food where's God heaven hey we're under my arm now another one [Laughter] [Applause] [Music] and if we hang this on the bag and you're bringing the egg out to a thunderous applause it's not my night I've always been unlucky I'm gonna cigarette light another won't go out I'm gonna sticker a lot of won't come out oh I'm late it so so we did this doctor and I said it hurts we will not do that he's were don't do it guy to me last night I ordered everything in French surprise everybody there's a Chinese restaurant I said to this Chinese faithless a lot this checker I got his cold he's what sugars but dead Jewish acid not only that I said I said I said it twice as he's got one leg shorter nether is what you want to do ether or dancing I said forget the chicken how's it give me give you a lobster so you brought the lobster I looked at it I said just a minute I said just a minute I said I said you only got one floor these words but in a fight as well give me the winner [Applause] sitting ovation this chat but up there so I said I said to this Chinese waiter I said excuse me and he said look at impressions as well I said tell me so does it other early Chinese Jews he said uh uh da da da da so he went and he came back he said no there's only apple juice pineapple juice [Applause] [Music] faucet so second this Chinese way to be on the counter I said excuse me and he said yeah should have in the same one I think you know walk around Vinnie I said have you got frogs legs and he said yes as well hot water kind of give me a cheese salad my boy said to me today's a dead is it what do you call a gorilla that's got a banana and each year and I said what do you call it the river that could have been on it easier is it anything like you can't hear the rain please favorite Spanish and walk as a white tip here the white tip there another reason for the white tips is to separate the ends from the center I get worse please have a hand over that can't fall down a solid one but banishment for your very eyes [Laughter] it is a great job she was up in the jungles in the jungle and there's a hyena you know a hyena and he's talking he's talking to this monkey and he said to this mighty said is it you see that little passage but levelup's things are never a little narrow he said just down there you see there's big clump of trees and bushes and as Muffy said yes he's what I go home that way every night I don't have to but you know it's a shortcut for me I've got home he's about every time I'll get to that bunch of trees there is this lion jumps out and throws me all over the place hey I don't know why he picked on me all the time she's probably about fashion about is it and then he throws he thinks it's funny you know me so no smug he said I know what you mean he's when I tell you what is that oh I'll come over it's like you know is it to protect you so he said what he said yes so so they shook hands on it nothing arrived and just shake it that shook and it started water sources talking trees see I'm kind of loving I know it's got my nose and it got down to this cupboard trees and he was just gonna turn like that and the lion chapter I got this high in it and there's mushy when run up the tree and left in there look at him not and awesome this flowered book and left this iron it on his back liar he may be like that no he's like I thought those monthly came down I was standing beside him and his hyenas like that and he looks up for this mug he said what happened he said he's gonna help me he's what I was he said what well I looked down is it your life is so much I thought you're winning you know I'm very soft-hearted really I have money I wouldn't harm a fly I don't never use these flight killers never is this instant starch doesn't kill him but they glide out the window like that not only was Tommy a funny man off he was a very funny man off as everybody will tell you I remember back in the 60s we were appearing in summer season in Blackpool and in different shells and regularly we used to go out for a meal after the show I know we were in one restaurant in Blackpool and we'd ordered the meal it was very busy was a Saturday night and my meal arrived and I said to Tommy I said Tommy they've brought me ball potatoes my ordered chips is they so he's doing a lot of chips in those days and Tommy said what would get changed you'll get away to go waiter so like tell me don't to make a fuss don't let's make it fuss about it pay for the new paying for the meal we'll get it changed waiter he's trying to catch the waiters eye and they're very busy eventually the waiter comes over and he just said what is the problem he said um he wants to have a word with you I didn't want any trouble at all I said well it doesn't really matter I said but you did bring me ball potatoes and I ordered chips unawares well it is very difficult so you know you you come to me very late at night from the shows it is lovely to have you show business people and he said but you come late and it's very busy and we make mistakes but I have nothing I could do now so though the chef has gone home I'm very sorry uh Tommy said he looked at me he said it's quite right you know it's quite right it's a bad card I like something here now at random mr. random would you think of any card you like in the back so we don't tell me think of any card no just equalizer every thought was right that is his mind of a matter if you don't mind I don't matter I put the cards in this now this duck [Laughter] will take your chosen card from that pack they may have seen a duck tree that before but be fair [Applause] awesome [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter] [Laughter] [Laughter] [Applause] I didn't want to my [Laughter] have analyzed have heard a bullet for sport [Applause] here we go now to the last trick how a wall shot one two three all right one Shroff about torment rehearsal one he was always late and - you could never be cross with him I don't never once but he was late and he was very late even for Tom and got about 3/4 an hour suddenly then we would just get the bit for the door opened and in walked on dressed in his pajamas and a bowler hat and he looked grounded as all he said I'm sorry I couldn't get up alright was a bath for the man how can be can you be cross with a man like that one thing you always have a good entrance [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] thank you yeah like that how do I do it again to present to you one of the old-time greats my favorite the star of our show Tommy goober [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Laughter] I've seen in the rain I know he's got even on if you're so serious right now there's a one-man theater hey which I play 400 different people luckily 398 are not in this scene just hidden and him the scene is 1941 come on the scene is not affordable in the prison war camp in the ride at all we're in Rikers and the leader of the British is the officer captain creepy here's one of the real temperature cream cheese and his face to face where that brutal can't comment hands Neeson and Boop's it is captain captain yesterday 200 Christmas in the camp today 10th house why is this we built all right skate color back to front silence slides on English wall I do not like the English I lost a leg in Tobruk what I am [Laughter] silence silence you see this is you know [Laughter] it isn't all the SS are the initials which stand for these initials are the initials of the tragic organization which these that is you stand for the SS stand for Sea Scouts yes it's ready Space Camp for this I will have you executed to teach you to have more no more to teach you to have what yes all right to teach you to have more respect in the future you will put a zipper on fold every one last request yes cram a cigarette [Laughter] [Laughter] [Laughter] for the last time we got zip Irish why has it gone dark don't worry I'll chap let me help you go to places forward that's right little bit more a little bit more that's fine thank you fires crowd fire [Laughter] [Laughter] [Music] I work with Tommy Cooper and with Eric Malcolm during the last 10 years and it was a marvelous experience of course I was sort of Eric as a great great comedian and Tommy is a very great clown to illustrate this he had a wonderful little joke when I very first worked with him did in front of a studio audience and he took one lose all the soap bubble machines you combine in a shop the kids have and you dipped a little steel thing in with a certain you blow the bubbles all over the bubbles there he was doing his lovely to laugh Tommy to the audience and suddenly he put out his right hand and he grabbed hold of one of these bubbles and held him like that he was quite Magic Moments he is that wonderful child light laughs and he actually managed to pluck a soap bubble out of the air he of course had palm did he was a glass bubble but the way the expression on his face having attained what every child would like to do to actually hold one of those soap bubbles was marvelous and he reminded me exactly I would be expression on the face of my three-year-old daughter when she first tried to blow bubbles and when she first tried to catch one in the air into a paper ball of glass bricks one of us is what is gas the bubble will now change pace for the mass the boat was now changed faced with a glass [Laughter] there's no sniffing apart is the label go back oh yeah [Applause] [Laughter] [Applause] [Laughter] [Laughter] [Applause] Oh [Laughter] [Laughter] [Applause] [Laughter] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] that was Tommy Cooper I'm such a terrific comedian I mean it just couldn't be another one like Tommy Cooper that's what he was a lunatic a madman a genius and one of the greatest comedians I personally have ever known it's a very rare quality he had he had the quality of innocence and he had the quality of vulnerability which has given to very very few people he was an extremely funny man all he had to do is to walk onto the stage just stand there and he just started to make you laugh dear Tommy Cooper well if we'd have had all the people who wanted to come on this program to pay the respects to Tom inside our business and out we would have filled Wembley Stadium how do you fill Wembley Stadium [Applause] [Applause] something Tommy why don't you tell us something about that famous film of Eric's the plank that we will appear oh yes now our remembered our doing this film it with that Eric had the prank and very funny he accidentally wrote it didn't he yeah yeah I was I know is it I'm telling you I was in it addition what he put me Rollo's now however I was in the film yes a plank that's right yes and he wrote the script I think you've run it in a letterbox why did he put it in the letterbox it's a postscript Oh [Applause] and while there what we're about in this feel that the first who I reach out of a lot longer than Frankie yeah not yet now are gonna be very quick we're doing this Phil and burn this house remember the house in this house [Applause] house in the same house I fell up laughing I've done I know what's coming next I've already through this film there's one shot in it and we had a scene where we had not nails into the floor so anyway you may be good at write it but he wasn't very good with ahem cuz I had a hold your nails while he was just misses one but it call you of that one [Applause] a great memory of Tom was he and his wife lived in a bungalow in Eastbourne um one Sunday morning they had a terrible row and Dov his wife went off in a terrible huff and arrived at this hotel in Brighton where they used to have a Sunday morning drink in the hold in the hotel bar now she's sitting there having a drink and 15 minutes later tom follows on in another cab five minutes from the hotel he takes his clothes off his jacket his shirt his pants everything and he's right down to his underwear all he has is his socks his long johns his suspenders and he walks through the hotel with all the guests looking at this fellow wondering what's going on and he walks through the hotel inside a bar right up to where his wife is having a drink and he says dad where's Mark clean shirt and that was the real Tommy Cooper chief bargain extinguish gas flame gentlemen pray silence Li our distinguished guest of honor mr. Tommy Cooper [Applause] thank everybody cheap vodka sullivo us the city was guess Asian Jenna from now on the streets go downhill but not yet not yet I've told you to wait in the truck your own life everybody is giving it away I must say it when I heard it was on I told the family and I cut my seven daughters a better son and daughter I'll get things right sometime and I said about son Thomas how's that I've been invited as a guest of honor it's a lunch father Riley Club and he looked at me with tears in his eyes and he flung his arms around me and he said what I hope for does my voice sound a little hoarse it doesn't be little bit that's benefit I lost my voice completely yesterday and then when I got now I'd just borrow for this lunch so where did the doctors and he said I'll examine II hope your mother went there and he looked down he's a little raw so what [Laughter] [Applause] cast all have an amazing gift for helping uptown bedrooms to start a gift for I'm sticking sticky areas and for loosening oak wood nuts and bolts all around the house it's a gift called Castro DWF and we're giving this DWF spray absolutely free with every five liter can of liquid engineering now we can show you the new sun-soaked hair sprays [Music] a new Sunsilk hairsprays hold the look [Music] everyone will have a chance to share it the shares of British Gas board information and to reserve the prospectus phone Oh - 72 - 72 - 72 minutes till mag proudly presents [Music] starring the tail state is big his lean is made with pure beef they grilled him for 10 whole minutes but they couldn't make him talk when the chips are down you can honor day on stage in beef lamb and gavin available minutes from this television set as you can see well I could get pretty hectic from the London commodity market in the afternoon I get hungry I could come second and that's no good to me as I've got a win I got to be first that's why I choose marathon it's full of peanuts but it's not too sweet it's a really satisfying snack packed with fresh roasted wholesome peanuts marathan really satisfies it's one of my best deals of the day Cooper I love Tommy keV do you like Tom Tom yeah like Tom Tom did you Tom Tom no Tommy Tommy Cooper Tommy Cooper yeah I were fabulous Tommy he was a legend that money loves the new brilliant Tommy like Tommy though our love didn't be one of my heroes sitting ovation [Laughter] so I said in this chat what happened then so I said I said to this Chinese waiter I said excuse me and he said you've got impressions as well I said Toby so does it other any Chinese Jews he said uh uh da da da da so he went and he came back he said no there's only apple juice pineapple juice [Applause] so checking this Chinese better be on the counter I said excuse me and he said yeah put it with the same one all around I said have you got frogs legs and he said yes that's what hot well they kind of give you a g7 tell me not just a lovely man but a great great comic if I had a tough audience you know I used to just put one of these on I that would get me out of shovel right away I have to tell you it almost goes without saying one of the funniest man I ever met how's the market last summer for the summer season a Fairmont said you want to go to Margate is go rheumatism so I didn't I got it [Applause] and I try to get the hotel was pack summit in his big balling house and I'm not through the door the landlady put ahead of the widow she what do you want I want to stay here and while I was there how about what do the skin-diving outfits let me see my frog master what the whole thing you know those big flippers tank all the back I had a photograph taken black hat and all that we never know I don't wait to the bay that ejected because you're not supposed to dive in this dangerous and I jump didn't like that I think I'm turn of it a little bit oh my god and I went doubt about others would you me it was nothing very quiet and I'm gonna run like that I got the instructions here when I started do that and the fee going on there not the front in the back I don't care I don't mean I'm all over the place the goal was getting old missed even I'm humming to myself all of us are not so bad walking towards it's Portia her gray flange that's on you bruh thirsty so make your water move I got up to my put this pad up I wrote what do you do down here walking about in the sports Jeffy gray snap and he took this pad for me he wrote on there and drown [Applause] Tommy Cooper well what me saved only one who could read the telephone directory make it funny that bloke he's a genius we'll all miss him he really was one of the funniest men in the business and to this day we all still miss him very very much great comic sheer inspiration I older men so much in fact I still do him every night oh thank you is a quick joke there's a man having a barbecues the front guard so you turn to speak like that the flames get higher and higher iron high and he's singing oh no music oh the Flavian are in hard and a drug bullfighter your signals alright but your monkeys on fire you know one of the funniest men I ever saw in my life he was just terrific he was really funny mother oh yeah Tommy Cooper was the old-time funny money was really tremendous you don't need to work on for me and I'd start laughing really tremendous you'd be missed god bless his mother I say forgiving the world Tommy Cooper as a man but into a pansy they've got a point a very direct appeal for the glass on the counter turn the people the right side you're a bunch of idiots he turned the people I left you see her a bunch of fools who walks out next night is back pipe with the glass all the kind of turns the Rice's you're a bunch of idiots and you're a bunch of fools and he walks out there's a man sitting there and he said look if he comes in tomorrow night he may not commit I don't know well you don't know what do you mean may not we can't blame each other I know well Sam don't know the fat I don't I don't give me couple different it he came he came in got a beer for the guy trained to be able to clap for the car to turn the pillow he's you're a bunch of idiots and you're a bunch of fools and this man said just a minute I'm not a fool these were John the idiots over there near old Tommy you know we in the profession at the privilege of knowing Tom personally but I wonder will we ever see his like again [Applause] [Music] we'll meet our gay don't know where no way but I know Oh [Music] Oh God [Music] yes I shall never forget the first half in it she was sitting on top Waterloo Bridge dangling are feeding the world [Music] she caught one eye at me and I caught one item and there we stood together cover and she had most unusual lips those on top and long blonde wavy hair all done of it no no no [Laughter] as your head irate cute little button nose thank you would you like the way it turned out then down inside way have we had some wonderful happy times this is on the beach she gave me a wave I still gonna home in the back Weesa ganas hands they look games together Easton she's to burn me into the same and I buried her in this thing one of these days I really old-fashioned dig around and then she said she was home so I bought her a stick of rock and she pitched it as she went oh was it quite a matter it was more Oh let you start a cry of it I saw watch matter love I broke their - I said don't worry you got one left and they she stood up Bowlings she Jamal either I said to her why don't you learn to play the cello so I said to myself I take a guess of lovely tea for so I got the best set of host teeth that money can buy and they look beautiful beautiful and then after all that carry on all the money spent on she laughing [Laughter] it's fun it's not you is it and a year later I'm never again as you came towards me as he just stood there and laughed and loved admin with my own teeth [Laughter] but I know we'll make my day [Music] [Applause] Oh

Channel: Neil Miles

Views: 22,431

Rating: 4.7925925 out of 5

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Id: GU-h5707bXI

Length: 53min 5sec (3185 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 29 2019