You Bet Your Life #53-23 Spunky old lady vs. Groucho (Secret word 'Clock', Feb 18, 1954)

the desoto plymouth dealers from coast to coast in every state in the union present groucho marx and you bet your life and now here he is the one the only well here i am again with three thousand dollars for one of our couples let him say the secret word uh they'll win a hundred dollars the way tonight is clock okay doc you're excused groucho we invited some dancing instructors to the program tonight and just before we went in the air our studio audience selected miss anne reardon her partner as mr bill eddy so folks would you come in please and meet groucho marx welcome to the desoto plymouth dealers say the sacred word and divide a hundred dollars it's a common word something you see every day anna ridden and bill eddy and you're a dancing instructor it says here huh yes where are you from annie well i was originally from st louis and i lived in chicago but i've been out here since i was 12 years old in other words danny doesn't live there anymore are you single yes i hope i'm correct i'm guessing you're not engaged am i correct yes are you busy tonight yes you say yes yes tomorrow night yes you said yes four times in a row you realize that yes apparently the answer is still no bill eddie that's you man yes i don't care how many times you say yes bill are you married no engaged no if you found the right girl would you like to get married yes i think i would can you support a wife though well reasonably well you're walking on quicksand though where do you work i work for the bank of america in glendale maine office you work at the bank of america and congratulations this is better than striking oil bill what do you think of anne and be candid as you like you know you're among friends well on such short acquaintanceship i think she's a very lovely and charming girl i haven't seen a banker pay that much interest since the boom of 87. what do you do with this bank bill i'm a lending officer oh i accept applications for loans from individuals and companies investigate their credit background employment verify their salary and length of employment etc would you lend me any money well are you gainfully employed i won't know till a show comes out what else would you want to know about me well i'd have to know your salary how long you've been employed your prospects for future employment what you wanted the money for etc you know what i want the money i've often wondered about banks with all that money around how do they know you fellas won't take home a few samples well the bank conducts a very thorough investigation and uh ascertains our honesty before we're employed that's not important they better make sure your honors after they hide isn't there some little way an employee can make an honest mistake like slipping a couple of thousand under his toupee well be honest isn't it oh a teller could go out to lunch and take a couple grand with him and not come back but wouldn't be long before his absence was noticed and he'd be caught eventually yes but by this time he'd had the lunch well apparently you've been giving this some thought anyhow haven't you and you may have your honeymoon in rio de janeiro bill by the way i know the bank of america is a very big bank it happens i've got 32 there myself and just between us what assurance do i have that this money is safe well uh all deposits up to ten thousand dollars are assured or insured by the federal government in washington that's my guarantee yes have you heard that the federal government is about 280 billion dollars in the hole and that's after they collected crosby stations let's talk about you and where do you do your dancing the arthur murray studio on wilshire boulevard oh arthur mario i know i know him very well as a matter of fact i was on the show a few weeks ago did you see it no you didn't man what are some of the common faults you find among men dances besides their desire to stay you to the back porch as soon as possible oh among the many faults they're the kind that dance or what we call side saddle you know off to the side so they can peer around your shoulder why do they want to look around your shoulder what's going on back there see where they're going and uh all the kind that oh the talkers you know talkers they tell you that their wife doesn't understand them no they count all the time they count yeah slow slow quick quick slow slow quick quick all the time in your ear and you think you could teach this guy anything oh i'm sure i could thank you bill uh when do you think you get together with us just to kind of talk things over huh well uh we discussed this a little bit before the show and we decided if we want any money why we might get together after the show and talk it over a little bit this was uh you knew this all the time when i was talking to her at the beginning yes like a cat playing with a mouse once she gave the right answers it was more like a rat playing with a mouse you two have already gotten together huh well i sworn gosh i'm swanned in years apparently he doesn't spend all this time foreclosing mortgages well you're a very effective couple and anna bill has trouble carrying you across the threshold after you're married don't worry do what i do let the bank of america carry on now let's see how much money you can win you beat our other couples you get a chance at the big money now let's see uh you select a general information quiz and remember the more the question is right the harder it is okay okay 70 done all right in a matrimonial a general information quiz in a matrimonial sense what is a benedict it's me i might just work yes that's a wrinkly guy who gives a ring okay is that the father gives the ring to the groom no that's a married man usually newly married well that's single i'm sorry now uh what question do you want you still got lots of chances 80 60 100 60 60. what kind of a business establishment would you associate with a mortar and pestle a plaster i think okay go ahead plaster either a drugstore or a farmer or pharmacy that's the thing he grinds it up in that's right yeah well we're not doing work oh well so now what do you want let's go 150. king of tulo 50 50. according to mother goose who went to bed with one shoe on this will have to be yours see a married man with children would know this well i know it's little little dumpling my son john went to bed with a stocking's arm once you walk and one shoe on did a little lumpy mice and john you see you have to have children remember that now then is your last chance to be the other couples what question are you going to go for should we go lower chopper penguin 80. 80. 80 what do you call a freshman at west point please queen cleve is right at least you have eighty dollars yes thanks and good luck into the sort of plymouth this is the california desert a real desert of deep loose sand treacherous soft shoulders blistering heat and this is a lovely 1954 desoto automatic on the desert road now watch we're driving this desoto automatic out into the sand in an ordinary car it would be almost impossible to move or steer in this type of sand watch this though the world's newest and finest fully automatic transmission power flight transmission lets the desoto automatic accelerate smoothly steadily evenly with great power even here and steering is simple even through heavy treacherous sand with desoto full-time power steering the power steering that works for you all the time makes turning the steering wheel as easy as dialing a phone there are hundreds of reasons why this lovely 1954 desoto deserves the name automatic reasons you should discover for yourself go to your desoto plymouth dealer soon see and drive the beautiful stylish distinctive 1954 desoto automatic it's available in two full series the mighty 170 horsepower fire dome 8 and the brilliant power master 6. convince yourself that this year soto puts you ahead automatically well now we have a young lady with an interesting job groucho her name is shirley lestell and her partner is mr charles sandoval so folks could you come in please and meet groucho marx well welcome welcome for the desoto plymouth dealers there's one of them out front say the secret word and you'll divide a hundred dollars it's a it's a common word something you see every day let's see charles uh sandoval and shirley leicester eh you're shaylee yeah yes sir uh shirley you don't mind mike calling you shirley on such short acquaintance do you not at all what did you say i said i don't mind you calling me shirley you always talk that way well i guess so my voice uh didn't change as i grew up oh it's like your voice didn't change otherwise i'd be calling you sam now uh how old are you shirley 25 25 yes uh you're fine mr charles sandoval is that that's you yes or no i can't but notice that patch over your eyes is that anything serious no sir the bright lights uh hurt my eyes oh is your chin sensitive to lie to uh where are you from originally i was born in the uh city of san salvador in the republic of salvador oh well why did you leave san salvador did you get tired of bananas no there was a revolution in 1929 and my father thought it would be a good time to leave the country you mean he let a little revolution scare him was he a coward no certainly not uh he was a president well the job blew up in his face then i don't blame him for quitting there's not much chance for advancement in a job like that shirley let's get back to you there's one question i haven't asked you you are married huh yes sir do you have any outside interest shirley or do you spend all your time keeping house oh no i work for a papermate pen company i have for the last two years oh well what do you do as a paper mate well uh right now i'm uh in uh doing the first assembly i've done um fillers first assembly final assembly inspection now what's a fella a filler is this and that's the fella you were married to i don't mean him well a filler in a papermate penis is the uh the little inside that you write with that's what you buy when you run out of ink but it doesn't happen very often uh only when you're right i guess sir 70 000 words there there is i don't know that many words well suppose i were to buy one how would i know if it was any good assuming that i did buy one well it would be good if you bought it because each pin is is tested we got uh 20 girls test them under water no on paper we have 20 girls that write johnson all day long johnson let's get an awful lot of mail huh why do they write johnson i happen to know johnson he can't even read besides he's a married man does mrs johnson uh get wind of this no but johnson has all the necessary loops and swirls and straight lines if you think johnson has him you should see mrs johnson an experience talking to youtube but i'm sure he'd be much more interested in winning some money wouldn't you that's right so let's play your bet your life beat our other couples you'll get a chance at the big money later the banker and the dancing instructor won 80 and the secret word is clock all right now let's see how much money you can make you selected science and medicine remember the more the question is worth the harder it is now what do you want ten dollar one eighty hundred talk it over your partners sixty please 60. what is another word for vertigo vertigo dizziness that's right off to a good start with sixty dollars bye job that was right charlie now what one do you want okay seven seventy what do you call the colored part of the eye the pupil the colored part of the eye is the retina right now the boat's gone charlie it's the iris you still have 60 dollars however now you have 60 dollars now what do you want to try better yeah we have to try 80 we'll try the 80 80 okay what is the common word for clavicle clavicle collarbone that's right you now have 140 now what do you want to try is your last chance to meet the other couple 90 90. 90. what is the science that deals with birds called ornithology that is absolutely correct and you wind up with 230 thanks and good luck to the desoto plymouth dealers that one color out front now before we proceed i have a telegram here i want to read this is the groucho marx nbc hollywood now we rarely do this this is the wire 500 radio and tv editors participating in the annual motion picture herald 500 radio and tv editors participating in the annual motion picture herald and fame magazine poll have voted george fenneman the best announcer in television thanks gentlemen thanks george get your head out of the clouds and tell us who's next all right roger we have a guest tonight from down under he's mister and don't ask for more money you're just wasting your time you know as a matter of fact we may cut your salad we got you'll have these in commiums what eat comiums we have a guest tonight this fellow went to stanford and i went to reform school e-c-o-m-r something like that we uh we have a guest look it up when you get home i'll do that for sure e we have a guest tonight uh groucho from down under mr uh ethel smyrden where is he in the subway well uh you'll see in just a minute i think mr ethel smyrden is his name and his partner is a hollywood pioneer miss mary sackett so folks you come in please and meet rachel marks now you got a boxy welcome for the desoto plymouth dealer say the secret word and you will divide a hundred dollars it's a common word something you see every day mr ethel smarten oh come now you just made that update my name is apple that's a scotch name hmm why aren't you in a gas tank oh well apple you say is the male equivalent for ethel the girl's name oh how about smiden smith and that's old english devonshire my grandfather came from south devon oh now where are you from mr smeiden i'm from auckland oakland well that's right across the bay from san francisco isn't it very groucho auckland a-u-c-k-l-a-n-d i don't care how you spell it it's still across the bay in san francisco why do you assume this uh dialect if you're from oakland well actually have you ever heard of new zealand new zealand have you ever heard of e-comium that's right across the bay from oakland so close now let's talk to you uh okay mr sackett this second you please miss sackett i'm terribly sorry no you may be sorry but i'm not this hasn't been an easy day for me well i'm glad you're not sorry uh mr sackett uh uh you're a spinster huh i'm a sister from choice from choice is that near oakland where were you born uh connecticut in connecticut huh across the alley from the town hall opposite the town park with the town she got back in the backyard the family are shooting the family garden i'm on granddad's connecticut seedless tobacco farm 10 miles from springfield mass 16 from hartford connecticut and if you dispose of the cigar thank you what i'm not going to light it can i just hold it no i don't like him something well how do you feel about me mary well right perhaps if you leave cigar alone am i getting pushed around tonight i'm running bikes around here uh how old are you mary 78 years 78 you're certainly spry and chipper mary how do you account for the fact that you're so young looking at 78 what do you do to keep in condition oh you don't smoke cigars huh i need a drink no smoke and uh i take breathing exercises could you breathe a little for us man say uh how about stepping over here mary and uh and do a few of those exercises for us huh this is a slow breath well that was quite a demonstration you put there uh mary you what else do you do to keep healthy i walk and uh talk yes you talk very well and well let's play your bet your life man you beat our other couples you'll get a chance at the big money our second couple leads with 230 dollars now you two have to decide on one answer between you on all these things let's see how much money you can make you select the geography and remember the more the question is worth the harder it is now what question do you want to start with i think we'll take about number eight how's that number eight the 80 one is that all right with you all right before that was right with him to be all right for me i expected so what country does greenland belong iceland um no it's denmark all right now you got three more chances say 70. 70. what is the capital city of alaska anchorage no it's juno what one do you want now oh come on what do you want now 50. let's get the big one you get nothing to lose so far yeah we'll get a hundred a hundred we're gonna get together what is the largest state east of the mississippi largest now york united states what's the largest state east from the mississippi texas isn't it oh he's not just like a man well it's georgia that's your last chance to be the other couple how much you're gonna bet you want a ninety dollar one a ten dollar one no we'll get a hundred well it's all right with you if we get a hundred that's all right no you've had the hundred yeah ninety ah all right we'll go ninety all right all right in which of our states do you find show shown falls s-h-o-s-h-o-n-e they're higher than niagara come on it's yours i don't know what do you think well i bet niagara falls is by new york yeah no but this is uh this is in the west and they're higher than niagara oh higher than niagara that's an idaho that's right and you'll wind up with ninety dollars thank you glad you didn't leave here broke mary thanks and good luck to the soda plymouth dealers that means our second couple shirley lastell and her partner charles sandoval with 230 dollars in just one moment get the chance of the desoto plymouth three thousand dollar question before they come back george i want you to give our friends the word on the groucho special used car campaign the groucho special campaign is a tremendous success friends take a good look at this sticker so many people have gone to their desoto plymouth dealer for a good used car and said groucho sent me that your desoto plymouth dealer is doing something extra for groucho's fans he's taken the best used car bargains he has and put this sticker on the windshield marking the car a groucho special these groucho specials are unusually good cars especially priced to make them the hottest values in town you see the overwhelming popularity of the 1954 de soto means that your desoto plymouth dealer has obtained some really great used cars in trade many of them are late model one owner cars the very best will be the ones he selects as groucho specials so don't miss out on this great opportunity tomorrow first thing go to your desoto plymouth dealers and look for the used cars with this sticker the groucho special sticker sign of a used car that's a really outstanding buy there may be one that's just the car you've been looking for it's the groucho special sticker your dealer's way of showing you a real used car value and when you drive in tell them groucho sent you groucho here comes our winning couple the man from san salvador and shirley lestell all set for the desoto plymouth three thousand dollar question right in there all right for three thousand dollars i give you 15 seconds to decide on a single answer think carefully and please no help in the audience here it is one of the most famous of greek legends concerns jason and his quest for the golden police the sailors who accompany jason had many wonderful adventures for three thousand dollars what were these sailors called it is a word still used frequently what is the answer you two have decided upon argon argonauts is absolutely right three thousand dollars and that was a tough question how much do they win the quiz george uh 230 dollars in the quiz which gives them 32 uh 32 30. congratulations from the more than 3 000 to soda plymouth dealers from coast to coast you bet you like remember that the dealers who sell the dramatic and remarkable 1954 desoto automatic with fully automatic power flight transmission also sell the new 54 plymouth engineered and built better to be your best buy in the low-priced field desoto plymouth two great new cars both products of the chrysler corporation friends go in to see the soda plymouth dealers tomorrow and see the 1954 desoto automatic and when you do tell them groucho sent you be sure to tune in next week same time same station for the groucho marx show you bet your life brought to you by the more than 3 000 desoto plymouth dealers of america who also bring you the outstanding new dramatic program medallion theater presented over another television network and don't forget groucho marx and you bet your life on radio every wednesday night this is george fenneman signing off with a reminder from the national safety council don't be a wacky walker don't cross between intersections you

Channel: Groucho Marx - You Bet Your Life

Views: 1,245,578

Rating: 4.7940297 out of 5

Keywords: You Bet Your Life (TV Program), Groucho Marx (Author), Groucho Marx, Episodes (TV Program), Game Show (TV Genre), Comedy (TV Genre), George Fenneman

Id: f5FLT2n5tio

Length: 29min 38sec (1778 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 12 2013

Reddit Comments

[u/SuzannaMcglothin]

A different day and age. Mary Sackett looks far older than 78. Life was hard on bodies back then.