Teachers, What's The Saddest Excuse For Assignment You've Seen? (r/AskReddit)

teachers professors of reddit what's the worst thing you have ever had a student unironically turn in as a university day I had the joy of marking an in-class essay that started out as a normal one but turned into pages of rap lyrics it was all written out and structured so that if you didn't read the words it looked like a proper essay another favorite was a student who just wrote no was their essay the entire test was an essay so all they turned in was one word and no it wasn't a witty answer to the question and finally I marked a test that was covered in red ink drawings of middle fingers in this class is stupid the funny part was they did okay on the test last kid sounds like the greaser punk from Shawshank Redemption trying to get his get I used to teach computer science in university I had a number of code submissions where the student just wrote pseudocode if you aren't familiar with programming think literally writing something like add two and two together then show the result I think they had someone else try and help them so they put step-by-step instructions in comments then tried to just uncomment that in Turnitin worse one student I had actually said it worked on their machine no Jared no it did not you probably just forgot the dart pie extension for the file for the first major research project in college I had to work with a randomly assigned student she didn't participate in any of the data collection or even really understand the protocol we were using but the icing on the cake was that she word for word plagiarized a section of our paper from the example our professor had given us which was an article he had written no surprise he noticed I had a kid turn in a Wikipedia article as a research paper he wrote the intro and conclusion but the rest of it still had footnote numbers and somehow a slightly shaded background these people doing a 30-minute group presentation copy pasted all their slides you could tell because they had that gray background highlight on all the text and a mess of different fonts within the same slides it also ended up being like five minutes instead of 30 so they didn't even copy pasted enough an essay completed by his mom who had done his written work for years according to other teachers did the parent-teacher interview I told her I believe the essay was likely plagiarized as it did not match the level of work that her son completed in class however the essay itself was so poorly written that there was no point in pursuing a lower grade than he had already received her husband gave her an all knowing side I agree Mason she turned bright red kid went on to fail my exam with a 4% it takes a lot of freaking work to get a four percent on an exam Savage I like your style had a student while student teaching I suspected of having a parent over help with the work but never had to escalate up that far students literally plagiarized about two pages of the book I had written as if I wouldn't notice one of my friends in grad school had sold her papers to an online paper mill as an undergrad to make ends meet one of her students in grad school bought one of her papers and turned it in to her during student presentations once I had to stop class to pull aside one of the students for mocking a dyslexic classmate for his spelling errors then my random name pick a selected rude student next he plugs his computer into the projector and starts presenting and the rest of the class immediately starts snickering rude student hadn't done the assignment at all he had copied another student's file off of the lab computers in hopes I wouldn't notice he had copied his dyslexic classmates file spelling errors and all he got a zero and a discipline referral this is on me and I know it I teach sixth grade and had taught about citing sources but not about reliability had a student turn in a science paper whose entire source list was phineas and ferb episodes my favorite was a research paper about Black Panthers literal foreleg Black Panthers for a paper about the color of water a book that touches on family education and race including the Black Panther political group apparently the student did not read a book or pay much attention to the classroom discussions I also especially like it when they copy and pasted from different web without changing the fonts native to the land of Wakanda I'll always remember the time students had the assignment to write something creative we'd covered poems short stories stuff like that even a diary or journal entry would have works it was a real soft bowl of a homework assignment but couple kids clearly phoned it in and that annoying but one kid decided to plagiarize Bob Marley lyrics as an original poem dude you could have written two paragraphs about how you liked that song and we're all good now I have to drag you out in the hall because plagiarizing is a big deal and can get him in trouble with administration that's over my head just felt bad all around and I was a new teacher at the time and had never had to deal with it before seriously people just half bash your homework or take the zero if you don't want to do it what don't cheat once you cheat stuff is out of my hands and there's no way it's worth it on a dumb one-off assignment i proofread a paper when I was a tutor where the author claimed that the song ABC by the Jackson 5 was educational she argued that the whole purpose of the song was to teach children their ABCs and 123s purely because it's had the letters ABC and numbers 123 in it I made her listen to the song twice and tried to strongly convince her otherwise but she kept insisting it was educational so she turned it in that way a student handed in an assignment for French class that he had used Google Translate for except he made a mistake when selecting the language to translate from English the assignment he handed in was in Finnish why for the professor college kids being unable to distinguish between the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans on a map quiz man did you know Chicago was one of the original 13 colonies reminds me of sixth grade we had a forced quiet reading time and teachers use that to grade homework and the geography teacher in the middle just randomly slammed his table and started yelling about how could anyone on a map of North and South America think the India ocean was there I'm Family and Consumer Science teacher homeric I had a student staple together their sewing project they had actually completed a beautifully constructed pencil pouch seventh grade that was too lazy to empty out the pencil pouch because I had already started using it I give one homework assignment in my eighth grade course make a meal at home or sign up to make one for a few teachers after school this kid signs up to make one after school gives me an ingredient list it's just packs of ramen no other ingredients he promised it would be the best thing we ever would eat I was grading Anatomy papers once and a male college student mislabeled the tea as a dawn I had someone else call the pectoralis major muscle that goes over the chest area the tightness major that same kid also called the quadriceps the quadricycle I had one male student mislabeled appendix as the clitoris so many good jokes came from this one also I should point out that all of these were on accurate anatomical models so these were especially bad mistakes titta must major had me dying the students were asked to create a video for their final assignment talking about global warming or something related to it they were promised extra credit if they got a lot of people to watch the video the idea behind this was to spread awareness and to incentivize high quality work one student created a black screen video put it on YouTube with a clickbait title and spammed it around the internet he ended up with enough extra credits to get an A in the class he will probably be more successful because he knows how to market I coach for academic decathlon a test taking extracurricular I had one student that hadn't studied the regional test at all marked all C these are on scantrons and wrote his name as animated EES tailed him he's lucky it was me grading it literally anyone else would have thrown his Bart out man I wish they had been attesting extracurricular activity when I was in school I just couldn't get enough of those sweet sweet tests I had a student say something about how Jewish people wanted to end up in the terrors in concentration camp because it made them feel comfortable and nice my English professor has a copy of a paper turned in by a student a few years back all the professor's got copies saying Howie Cummings got his name because he said EEE EEE before well cooming no one was sure if the kid was serious but apparently the professor was sad to have to fail the paper EE Cummings in her face now that's poetry in motion not a teacher but I remember my ninth grade English teacher was returning as says we had written when she got to the student behind me she handed his back with a post-it note attached that had a web address written on it in front of the entire class she looks at this Killam says this is the web site you copied your entire essay from only time I ever enjoyed that class a mostly blank final exam with a poem on the back about how they were worthless and a failure yep I've turned in a blank exam once or twice during my college career it's the most debilitating feeling one could ever feel especially after studying for several days for it my husband is a professor he had a student would consistently turn in papers covered in coffee stains the last um straw was when the student turned in another coffee coated assignment with the pages all stuck together and kind of lumpy on prying the pages apart it was discovered a coffee stirrer had somehow gotten sandwiched in there the assignment was returned ungraded I taught technical drawing one of the kids was getting suspended for a week he asked me for work he could take home since he couldn't do work using the software at home because he didn't have a computer I gave him a stack of worksheets pertaining to the AutoCAD software and told him to take a book off the shelf the guy came back later after his suspension was over and turned in some of the craziest worksheets I'd ever seen I told him not one of these answers is right the kid got all upset he said they all came straight out of the book then he showed me the book it was Norton's anthology of English literature I had a student in a graduate physics course turn in all the printed solutions with his name on it he had the audacity to ask for a B+ so he didn't get kicked out of his program law on my high school physics final I just wrote down every formula I could think of the teacher gave me one point per which brought me to around 30% with the curve that was a solid B not a teacher but once a teacher told me about a student plagiarizing Poe's the Raven this gave me a flashback to fourth or fifth grade music class we had some recital but I was going to miss it because I had a baseball game that night teacher said to make up the points I had to write a paper about a musician copy and pasted the entire Wikipedia page about Beethoven including citations and pictures teacher must not have cared because I got full points I cringed just thinking about it I once had a student who misspelled his own name as an English teacher I had a child turn in a creative writing piece that was pretty much the entire plot of Aylan when confronted with his plagiarism he said he'd thought I wouldn't realize because it was a really old movie and women don't watch movies like that go in the other room woman the men are watching alienness senior students were asked to submit a creative response to a prompt the prompt was an image of a group of people collaborating over a map I expected stories and the vein of treasure-hunting since we were reading short stories with that as the theme one student turned in a four-page creative essay about bestiality and gang violation because that's what they were plotting needless to say he was sent to the counselor's office we all have to admit that was a very creative response disturbing but creative during standardized testing MCAS classmate of mine was asked to write an essay on a piece of literature he read that talked about noir he made up a story called the big war and he wrote down a different classmates name as the author surprisingly he didn't get caught a student was absent on the day a worksheet was due I graded and returned the worksheets pretty quickly when the student in question returned she turned in another student's already graded worksheet Pao you might ask did she hope to pull this off she tore off the original student's name wrote her own name elsewhere on the paper and then used black ink to scribble over all the red ink on the worksheet underlining circles X's the grade in hopes that I wouldn't notice I already graded it sadly she was a dim enough bulb that the resultant zero had negligible effect on her grade straight up pages long plagiarism from the internet always comes off as pretty stupid why does this keep happening our kids brain damaged the kids are either that's stupid that lazy or think that their teachers are not stupid I had a student I was desperately trying not to fail who still owed me to 2,000 word papers towards the end of the semester I had a couple of conversations and multiple rounds of email with him after a month plus of this I received an email with the subject line here are both papers or words to that effect I opened it and was confused because there were no attachments eventually I figured out that he had typed the contents of the papers into the email not standard practice but I would have let it go out of mercy the reason it took me so long to figure this out was that I literally skimmed over the contents of each paper thinking they were part of the email header and indented text in the reply he had written one sentence for each paper the two sentences were 14 words in total that person is not in college anymore I've told this one before in a similar thread but I was at a in a computer science lab I had a student turn in a program that wouldn't compile why because when they copied and pasted the program they also included the email header at the top so they accidentally ratted out themselves to other students the program was emailed to and the guy who sent it to them the thing was I was there to give the students any help they needed I would have helped them line by line oh well in high school the administration came up with some stupid senior assignment and forced all 12th grade English teachers to assign it my teacher thought it was dumb too so he gave everyone an A well everyone but me because I didn't do it a week after it was due he was like just turned something in so I did less than 10% of it and turned it in he gave me a B+ I am a Spanish teacher and one kid was supposed to write a large paragraph describing his school schedule he turned in one sentence that was written in English not a teacher but a girl I knew in high school had to do a report on the framers of the Constitution came back with a research paper on fathers of the Constitution literally wrote about farming in that time period seems like farmers were hard as subjects and framers if you really did research I hope she didn't fail immediately I'm an earth science teacher last year I assigned a project about careers in earth science it was a pretty simple project where they had to make a PowerPoint or brochure about a career with information like salary what education is required what does a typical day look like etc a few kids did a science teacher and most did a pretty good job with it except Toni first he said that the hours that a science teacher works was 2 p.m. to 8 p.m. I have no idea why he even put that considering he goes to school and knows what time teachers work he said the salary was seven thousand dollars a year and my favorite he said to be honest a science teacher has it pretty easy they just show movies all day and talk about science I showed one movie the entire year and it was right before Christmas break tie pulled him aside the next day em said Tony let's talk about your presentation he was like it was great right and I just said no it was terrible seriously what were you thinking he went on to explain that he completely forgot it was due until 10:00 p.m. the night before and bullshitted the whole thing which I can believe but even so it's the one job on the list where he sees someone in that career every day how could he possibly be so wrong I so had a girl do marine biologist for the same project and she sent me slides about different branches of marine science and some basic information about it it did not match what I asked for at all and even included discussion questions at the end this was not something that was getting presented in class by Google some of the info and quickly found the same exact PowerPoint that was used for a college intro to marine biology class it wasn't even about the career not sure how she thought she was going to get away with that copied papers with the advertisements still in them plagiarized paper and parents said so I don't see the big deal a plagiarizing wiki article including the citation needed link my ex-wife received a research paper 100% copy and paste from the Internet including all the underlined hyperlinks and claimed they was all original even though she found the original website and presented it to the student he claimed his computer was hacked and someone posted his essay to the site and was highly offended to the accusation I was the student here but sophomore year of high school I took AP World History and at the end of the year on the AP exam there was an essay question asking you to tell some great migration in history like the Irish to America because of the famine or slavery et Cie etc now the question did not give those examples and I left it for last and it did not state human migrations when I got to it I have 15 minutes left and drew a complete mental blank I couldn't think of anything so I wrote a two-page essay about bird migrations and how they flew south for the winter or whatever a lot of it was BS because I didn't know anything really about bird migration after the exam I told my teacher and she whacked me over the head she had a jovial relationship with a lot of us everyone loved her results came and I still passed with a three I assumed I got to zero on that essay but secretly hoped the grader had a sense of humor absolute madly in art class turned in everything Sonic the Hedgehog final project we had to do a stained glass for a church Catholic school and he literally painted sonic on the cross while tails knelt and wept the best part was the teacher tried to fail him but the principal got the teacher to pass him in the comment sheet at end of year said unhealthy obsession with Sonic I used to be a special education teacher I told the student to sign here after the IEP meeting after the students and parent I gathered the papers he literally signed here student had an IQ of low ages and was not aware of such things being funny he tried his best I was tutoring in a master's degree capstone subject that students complete at the end of the degree to graduate international student of mine submitted a paper that was filled with photos of cats as part of the assignment I had a student turn in a paper on Jim Crow laws that used the n-word several times I had to explain why that word wasn't appropriate for a school paper you have been visited by the IT lizard a voter experienced bad internet for a month thanks for watching if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people

Channel: Updoot Everything

Views: 102,870

Rating: 4.8905339 out of 5

Keywords: #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh, school stories, teacher stories, worst assignment, worst paper, embarrassing moment

Id: bAxNbW5zEwQ

Length: 20min 45sec (1245 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 27 2020