Teachers Share Student Best Comebacks From Students (/r/AskReddit) Reddit Stories

teachers what was the best smartass response from a student you have heard back when I taught first grade we were doing a writing assignment about Thanksgiving the kids had to draw a picture of their family celebrating Thanksgiving and then write about it one little girl drew the table and chairs and that was all I knew she just didn't feel like doing the work so I tried to prompt her I asked where the food and her family were and she snapped right back with they are washing the dishes had to give her credit for coming up with a logical argument for not doing the work not a teacher Burt witnessed as a student there was literally 30 seconds left of class and my buddy starts to pack up the teacher didn't seem to mind but when the bell rang and Buddy got up to leave the teacher said the classic line the Bell doesn't dismiss you I do and Buddy just continues to leave gets in the doorway of the class and says if it decides when I come it decides when I leave and just leaves the class my grandson who lives with my wife and I was sent to office one day for breaking dress code no belt the principal asked why he didn't wear it to which he replied my crackhead mother stole it and I didn't have time to get another principal got super mad and called us to tell us what happened and what he had said I confirmed his story well his crack addict mother came to visit last night and we didn't realize it was gone until this morning I could audibly hear him gasp over the phone and immediately started apologizing and every time I see him now he mentions it and apologizes I had a teacher tell a classmate no drinks in class he got up from his seat picked up the teachers drink and deposited in the garbage with his drink she sent him to the office I was doing poorly in a middle school class on account of my mother having terminal brain cancer this one teacher would constantly get on my case even though he knew about the situation I wasn't a bad student I was just severely distracted from the situation at home and couldn't always focus I missed two days of school due to her worsening condition the day before she died he left a voicemail at my house explaining my five missing homework assignments but no one really cared I didn't go to school for a week after her death and when I returned I said to him well now that she's dead I can finally finish those assignments right Dart I think he finally understood the principal gave him a good chewing out too this was while working with nine-year-olds we're doing number problems and the kid is having trouble with a sum the sum is you have 40 sweets you'd give half your sweets to your friend how many sweets do you have now I grabbed 40 counters and say to the kid here are 40 sweets if you give me half how many will you have left dart kid turns to me and utterly deadpan says I can't give you the sweets you want my friend a fellow student in my class shouted that it was freaking freezing in the classroom the teacher naturally told him not to use the f-word so the kid replied it's frickin cold in here had my class of working class kids at an art gallery as we waited for our toe tip again we played on the small playground near the door a prep school kid in a uniform approached two of my boys and said I bet I'm smarter than you are I watched to make sure no blood was drawn my students can hold their own pretty much anywhere and they don't accept insults casually but they were cool no you're not are you in grade 2 the boy said he wasn't one of my boys said so then we're all grade two so we are all great too smart he went back to climbing the monkey bars but the prep school kid continued I know I'm smarter let's do some math and I'll prove it the toughest kid in my room look this guy square in the iron said well I'm smart enough not to do math when I'm having fun on a playground ' my history teacher would spend half the class making jokes directed at the students one student in particular always took the jokes on the shin and never really made any comebacks eventually the teacher called him out and jokingly lectured him about standing up for himself he ended his rant with you've got it be a man you've gotta be like me the student replied with well which one do you want me to be a man or do you want me to be like you edit for those wondering this happened back when I was in high school in the late eighties it's one of those moments I will never ever forget D in HS our functions and relations teacher would always start to say something forget it and say I lost my train of thought well one day a buddy of mine replies it's okay sir there were no important passengers and boat Edit for those who are asking functions and relations is a subset of finite math think of an entire course on the quadratic equation and its various offshoots why are you all talking because you're not second grade kid was sent out of the room this is in regards to the rule don't talk when the teachers talking I'm not a teacher but I had a friend in school who was always pretty dramatic she actually did have Ives though so we're in this [ __ ] he teaches class and she keeps asking to use the bathroom the teacher says no my friends like I have I blow and the teacher is like tell me what those initials mean and I will let you go so she screams it means I have to [ __ ] and takes off out of the room student a says - student B dude shut the Frick up staff says student a we don't talk that way in the future find a more appropriate way of expressing yourself student a says to staff oh sorry then turns to student B and says dude would you please shut the Frick up well this one was during coaching classes for entrance exams the maths teacher reduced a given problem to a simpler form and challenged the students so this expression doesn't fit any of the given standard forms for us to find the particular integral so what do you propose we do take it from the back shouted the next question not a teacher but witnessed as student we had a substitute who was leafing through the yearbook and got to the senior superlatives our school mascot was the Eagles she started reading some of thin aloud and said oh that's nice sorry most school spirited a student on said bat yeah because she's always spread eagle the substitute couldn't keep from laughing as much as she tried not to let me point out that I'm female since people will assume I'm a guy I taught in an inner-city school we were talking about prime numbers so I would have kids give me a number and we'd work out if the number was a prime number on the board one kid wasn't paying attention so me being a young teacher I thought I'd catch him off guard and call on him it went something along the lines of mark do you have a number Hut I need your number shieet played cool girl we can talk after class the whole room lost their poop and I turned red from embarrassment they then laughed at how red I got in a high school physics class we were learning about friction and what there is how strong it is so the teacher asks so as an engineer what would be some of the hard parts of designing say racing tires some kid in the back says getting out of bed in the morning edit thanks for the gold it's reassuring to know that the plight of the engineer isn't unique Spanish class in high school two guys who grew up in spanish-speaking families were can thing off at the back of class one guy says that he could stand the weight of another person standing on his stomach and the other guy who was probably just shy of 200 pounds doesn't believe him so the first guy gets on the ground in the back of class and the other guy gets up and stands on his stomach the teacher sees this and immediately yelled at the guy on the ground to get back into his seat without missing a beat he says I can't he's standing on me the other guy doesn't move because he wasn't yelled at meanwhile the teacher continues to be upset that the guy on the ground isn't listening to her I witnessed a rather sad one in my chemistry class sophomore year one of my friends was going through some family issues and his dad just left for a year or so the kid was acting up in class and the teacher was like do you want me to call your dad and he was like if he picks up tell him to come home soon a kid in my math class would sleep on his desk one day the teacher called on him to answer a problem on the chalkboard he woke up solved the problem on the board with zero difficulty and then just went back to sleep the teacher repeated the same thing a few times with similar results and then just let him sleep the rest of the year I'm not a teacher but this happened in one of my classes a few weeks back my math teacher is a pretty chill guy and likes to share personal info every now and then so he decides to tell the class he is getting married this summer break most of the class congratulates him and wishes him well this one girl from the front of the class shouts out it has been legal for a year now why did you wait this long the whole class starts freaking dying laughing and the teacher is just sitting there with his mouth open edit expelling a kid mock me when I said don't do that I started to yell at him and he said no man that's a song he then spontaneously came up with a rap song called don't do that and his friend started making beats I was no longer mad my friend Brian was in his homeroom class back in high school the topic of abortion came up as everyone was asking each other if why they are either against all pro-abortion we're in Texas so you can assume the ideas and opinions of the majority of the class so my friend is a very intelligent and quiet fellow minding his own business in a corner of the room the class turns to him to get his opinion on the matter someone Brian you've been quiet over there so what about you are you proud abortion Brian well I wouldn't say I'm pro but I'm pretty good with a coat hanger jaws drawn the room is silent as everyone is registering what just happened glad I made it to school that day just yesterday actually one of my classes is fun in that we give each other hard times but all in good fun and accomplished a lot a girl starts giggling uncontrollably for no reason and she's a bit of an airhead so I asked her if she saw something shiny and if that entertained her another boy jumps in and says yeah mister your head I'm going bald I wanted to pretend to be mad but it was just too damn funny I have a smartass response from a teacher story to share in eighth grade science class we were learning about the planets and the usual class clown let's call him kay was making the usual immature jokes about Uranus our teacher Mr P who was a younger pretty chill guy wasn't having it so Mr P tells K to go outside when K asks which door he should use to leave Mr P first says it doesn't matter but quickly comes back with an answer and says you know what why don't you go out the back door since you like Uranus so much the whole class went crazy definitely one of the best teacher responses to dumb student comments that I've witnessed I went to a Catholic school very strict lots of beatings to friends and I had been caught but one of the more violent teachers mr. Murphy off the school grounds climbing in the neighboring estates trees after school detention where lined up in his office where he is screaming at us for our bad behavior letting the school down etc we expecting a beating or 500 word essay if we are lucky or perhaps he'll just punches a bit he turns to my friend David shouts do you climb in your neighbours trees at home question mark exclamation point Dave replies head down and sounding remorseful no so why not question mark exclamation point they haven't got any sir my other friend literally ended up crying with laughter on the floor I was shaking with laughter and Dave just stood their head down emotionless mr. Murphy stood there momentarily lost for words before shouting at us to get out and that was it funny thing was Dave never understood why it was so funny this is sort of a flip from the question but there was this awesome history teacher I had freshman year of high school who was just always in an amazing mood we'll call him Mr Smith one day everyone is sitting in class waiting for the tardy bell to ring when a kid sneaks a condom onto the door handle the bell rings and mr smith walks into the room grabs the handle to close the door and pulls the condom off of it looks at the condom helmet for a split second and stuffs it into his pocket while saying thanks I'll need this later in high school one of my teachers was having a disagreement with a student I can't remember what it was about but finally the teacher asked him if she wanted her to call his mother the student replies do it there my mama will agree with me too the teacher then asks him to leave her class he goes you know what I'm gonna call my mom for you he then whips out his cell phone and calls his mom on speaker hey MA this teacher want to talk to you the whole class just lost it my bud isn't I used to like to play Ultimate Frisbee on the football field during lunch we were told not to organized sports were supposed to be that organized they didn't want kids getting hurt without supervision anyway one day we said screw it and decided to do it anyway so they turned the sprinklers on us didn't stop us we kept playing and finally they sent a security guard out to get us detention for the rest of the day in the cold cafeteria soaked in cold so we started chattering and talking but it's hard to stay quiet when you're shivering anyway the coach watching know that attention told everyone to shut up you will sound like a bunch of Canaries in a cage everyone got silent then one person started it and it slowly grew cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap move back ahoy yeehaw yeehaw the coach couldn't help but start laughing then turned the air even colder bastard I've taught preschool for years and one of my favorite dad responses to children who are being whiny just to whine is the high dart I'm your teacher egg I'm thirsty hi thirsty I'm your teacher dart anyway one day after a long week I sat down to lunch with my class preschool remember 4-5 year olds and Sator child we all call him Tommy Boyd Tommy I'm really tired today without skipping a beat he swallows his mac and cheese looks me right in the eyes and says hi really tired I'm Tommy that was the day I knew I had taught him all I could not a teacher but this happened in an upper-level French class where you can only speak French if you speak English the teacher scolds you in French my friend walked in a few minutes late for a quiz and wasn't allowed to take it my friend looked at the teacher and said in English that's bull poop the teacher looked back and Grilli and said also in English what did you just say my friend and France seis Monsieur he got kicked out of the class in middle school in history class this happened girl hey Emma C how do you spell word i dr mr c di c TI o and r ry she writes it down stares at it for a moment trying to comprehend why it doesn't look right gets pissed at teacher classes dying teacher laughing as well not me but a colleague told me this story it was one of his first years teaching so he was about 22 - 24 at the time it was a junior high science class and he told a student to stop messing around and get back to work the students response man I got [ __ ] older than you my sister who is a teacher was taking her kindergarten class through the lunch line well this day was Street Patrick day so there was green cupcakes my sister told the class jokingly don't eat too many cupcakes or you'll turn green a young black boy looks up at her and says miss Carey I ain't never seen a green brother before hey you thanks for watching if you enjoyed this video consider subscribing and hitting like also if you have an Alexa device you can say Alexa open read it stories to hear some of the all-time top ask reddit posts thanks for watching you [Music]

Channel: Reddit Stories

Views: 43,987

Keywords: askreddit stupid, funny reddit comments, askreddit scary, askreddit funny, reddit top posts, askreddit, askreddit comedy, toad films, updoot reddit, storytime with reddit, reddit and chill, reddit, student, smart ass, comebacks, student owns teacher, student vs teacher, beast comebacks

Id: 7j7xV1xh2Rs

Length: 19min 21sec (1161 seconds)

Published: Fri Dec 27 2019